Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook!
by BM22OwenstinaKB
Summary: It's facebook time! What could the New Directions and Warblers be up to this time? Centered to all of the Glee couples but specially featured for Klaine! Full of mayhem, craziness, sadness, love, drama, and the wisdom of one, Mr. Bang-Bang!
1. Dislikes, Bitch Rachel, and Jelaine

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**Author's Note: I love reading the Facebook style fan fictions about Klaine so I decided to write one myself. My sixth fanfiction of Klaine. I think I need a life because all I do is think of Klaine. Yup, definitely need a life. But maybe later. Klaine is much better than life. Klaine is life. Anyway, I hope you like it. **

**BTW, set after Silly Love Songs. And Jeremiah didn't reject Blaine so now they are a couple. Also, Kurt never told Blaine that he has feelings for him. Kurt is still in love with Blaine. And it isn't Valentine's day yet. Set the week before Valentine's day.**

**A little drama but also humor here. Though if it isn't funny, just bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Klaine or everyone or Facebook. **

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**Chapter One:**

**Dislikes, Bitch Rachel, and Jelaine**

**Blaine Anderson** has just joined facebook.

**Blaine Anderson **has added **Kurt Hummel, Jeremiah Watson, and 167 **others as his friends

**Blaine Anderson **and** Jeremiah Watson **are **in a relationship.**

**Blaine Anderson **and **Jeremiah Watson **likes this

**Wes Yang **^dislike this^

**Thad Andrews, David Thompson, **and** 157 **likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Why did you guys like that?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah! Why did you guys do that?

**David Thompson: **Kurt, please don't tell us that you didn't want to like that too.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt would never do that!

**David Thompson: ***raises eyebrow*

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, I support Blaine and Jeremiah's relationship 100%

**Wes Yang: **LIAR!

**David Thompson, Thad Stevens, Mercedes Jones, **and **114 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Mercedes!Why'd you like that?

**Mercedes Jones: **Because Wes is right, white boy!

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't believe any of you guys. Kurt's my only true friend right now.

**Kurt Hummel **likes this

**David Thompson: **How could Blaine be so clueless?

**Mercedes Jones, Wes Thompson, **and **132 **otherslikes this

**Blaine Anderson: **What are you guys talking about? *insert confused look*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Mercedes Jones:** *facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **what's a facepalm?

**Santana Lopez: **How can one sexy hobbit be so clueless?

**Kurt Hummel: **Stop that you guys! Blaine is not clueless!

**Blaine Anderson: **What is going on? And why are you guys blowing up my notifications!

**Kurt Hummel: **I'll PM you!

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**Blaine Anderson: **Oh...Why did you guys just tell me that you guys felt that the song I sang to Jeremiah was kind of inappropriate?

**Wes Yang: ***shakes his head in disbelief* Blaine, the song was about sex toys! Of course it was inappropriate. We are lucky we aren't banned from the GAP.

**Santana Lopez: **Wanky!

**Blaine Anderson: **How could I be banned? I'm dating the assistant manager. :)

**Wes Yang: **Again. ^dislike so much^

**Kurt Hummel: **Wes! Would you stop disliking everything Blaine posts?

**Blaine Anderson **likes this

**Wes Yang: **You didn't tell him the real reason, Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel: **Would you just stop it, Wes? *bitch glare*

**Wes Yang: ***rolling his eyes* Fine, but I'm not the one hurting.

**Blaine Anderson: **What the hell is going on? And again my notifications are blowing up!

**Kurt Hummel: **Don't mind Wes, Blaine. He's just stupid.

**Blaine Anderson, David Thompson, **and **84 **others likes this

**Wes Thompson: **Bastards! All of you are freaking bastards! David? How could you?

**David Thompson: **Sometimes you are. Especially with your obsession with your gavel.

**Wes Thompson: ***hits David with his gavel*

**David Thompson: **OW! Wesley! That hurts!

**Blaine Anderson: **Would you two stop acting like babies and stop blowing up my freaking notifications! Also, tell me what the hell is going on.

**David Thompson:** Ugh! We just don't like that moped head boyfriend of yours.

**Blaine Anderson: **Why you can't two be supportive like Kurt is?

**Wes Yang: **If only you knew

**David Thompson: **If only

**Blaine Anderson: **If only I know what?

**Kurt Hummel: **Answer that and I will cut you and throw you corpse into the sea.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt...

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine...

**Blaine Anderson: **What aren't you telling me?

**Kurt Hummel: **How about we just go for coffee?

**Blaine Anderson: **I'll make you tell me, Hummel. ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **Bring it, Anderson! ;)

**Wes Yang: ***rolls his eyes and hits his forehead in disbelief* Clueless...

**David Thompson, Mercedes Jones, **and **156 **others likes this

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**Blaine Anderson **to **Jeremiah Watson: **I can't wait for our date on Friday!

**Wes Yang: **^dislike again^

**Mercedes Jones, Rachel Berry, **and **123 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **WESLEY YANG! Would you stop disliking everything I post! Come on, man! What the hell is your problem?

**Wes Yang: **It's a free country, Anderson. I can post anything I want!

**Blaine Anderson: **Why can't you dislike David or someone else? Why me?

**Wes Yang: **Because I don't dislike what David does. I dislike yours.

**Blaine Anderson: **I really hate you right now, Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **You'll thank me someday. ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **Never!

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**Kurt Hummel: **is heartbroken.

**Wes Yang: **I'm so sad for you, Kurt. ^dislike this so much I'm crying^

**Mercedes Jones, Rachel Berry, **and **109 **likes this

**Mercedes Jones: **Kurt, I'm so sorry. Want to go shopping tomorrow?

**Kurt Hummel: **Sure, baby.

**David Thompson: **Just understand him, he is very clueless. Unlike all of us who knows.

**Finn Hudson: **Want me to kick his ass? The guys can help.

**Noah Puckerman: **Yeah, we will totally hit his head so much that he'll realize he loves you too.

**Quinn Fabray: **I don't think violence will help.

**Britney S. Pierce: **STOP THE VIOLENCE!

**Rachel Berry: **Britney's right. And on the behalf of Glee club, we are all so sorry for you and we have your back.

**Santana Lopez: **Do you always just think about the Glee club? Do you even have a life?

**Rachel Berry: **...

**Santana Lopez: **Thought so... :)

**Finn Hudson: **Santana quit bothering Rachel.

**Rachel Berry: **:) *insert silent thank you*

**Finn Hudson: **It's not her fault she doesn't have a life.

**Santana Lopez, Quinn Fabray, and 132 others **likes this

**Rachel Berry: **:(

**Santana Lopez **likes this

**Rachel Berry: **Go fuck yourself on the corner, you slut!

**Santana Lopez: **O_O

**Quinn Fabray: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Noah Puckerman: **O_o That was hot!

**Finn Hudson: **O_O Totally!

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**Kurt Hummel: **Went shopping today with **Mercedes Jones** and bump into someone.

**Finn Hudson: **Who?

**Mercedes Jones: **Blaine and Jeremiah

**Wes Yang: **Do I even need to do it? ^dislike^

**Blaine Anderson: **For crying out loud, Wesley, what the hell is your problem?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm because his best friend is so clueless*

**David Thompson: **What the hell did I do?

**Wes Yang: **Not you, idiot.

**Blaine Anderson: **Why am I clueless again?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm?

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**Sam Evans: "**I thought you'd always be mine...I'm gone..."

**Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, Kurt Hummel, **and** 76 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **Sammy Evans, you are bieberlicious.

**Quinn Fabray **and **14 **others likes this

**Quinn Fabray: **Hey! Don't flirt with my boyfriend on facebook!

**Santana Lopez: **You have no right to tell me who I can't flirt with, Ms. Cheater-who-cheats-on-her-boyfriends.

**Sam Evans: **What is she talking about?

**Santana Lopez: **Didn't you know? Quinn cheating on you with Man boobs.

**Sam Evans: **Who?

**Santana Lopez: **Finn.

**Finn Hudson: **^dislike^

**Santana Lopez: **:)

**Finn Hudson: **Awww come on! No one likes the dislike?

**Santana Lopez: **:)

**Santana Lopez: **Like if you believe that Finn has man boobs?

**Noah Puckerman, Tina Cohen-Chang, Rachel Berry, **and **78 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Screw all of you! Go to hell! Plus, Rachel? You actually liked that? I thought you loved me? :(

**Rachel Berry: **Remember that we're not a couple anymore? Besides, you really do have man boobs andwe are going to hell!

**Santana Lopez: **Looks like this is a side I never saw in you, man hands. I actually like it.

**Rachel Berry: **Well you'll see this side of me more often now, bitch!

**Noah Puckerman: **This is hot. O_O

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**Sam Evans **to **Quinn Fabray: **Is it true? You cheated on me?

**Quinn Fabray: **...I love you, Sam...

**Sam Evans: **PM me, now!

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**Sam Evans **is now single

**Santana Lopez: **Do you want to feel better?

**Sam Evans: **How? The woman I love cheated on me.

**Santana Lopez: **Come to my house and you'll feel better. ;)

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**Sam Evans **feels so much better right now. Thank you, **Santana Lopez**

**Santana Lopez: **Wow...I never thought you're wild in bed. Never thought. Wow...my bed is broken.

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O

**Finn Hudson, Mike Chang, **and **8 **others likes this

**Britney S. Pierce: **Why do you guys like owl eyes?

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**Quinn Fabray **is now single

**Mercedes Jones: **I'm so sorry.

**Kurt Hummel and Tina Cohen-Chang **likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Me and Cedes are eating a tub of ice cream at my house tonight. Want to come?

**Quinn Fabray: **Thanks, I'll see you at twenty.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Where is twenty?

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**Blaine Anderson: **Just had a fight with **Jeremiah Watson. **So sad right now.

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **finds it weird that his best friend, **Wes Yang**, did not dislike what he said.

**Wes Yang: **I actually like what you posted.

**Blaine Anderson: **You like me and Jeremiah fighting?

**Wes Yang, David Thompson, **and **34** others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **Screw all of you who liked that. I don't have any friend left.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm still here. How about I go to your dorm and we watch a some Disney movies.

**Blaine Anderson: **Can you bring a tub of ice cream? *insert puppy eyes and pout*

**Kurt Hummel: ***sighs because he can't resist Blaine's puppy eyes and pout* Fine. Be there as fast as I can.

**Blaine Anderson: **I love you so much right now, Kurt.

**Wes Yang: **If you don't like ^this^ I will hunt you down and hit you with my gavel.

**David Thompson** and **345**likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **Why did you do that Wesley?

**Wes Yang: **For you to realize something...

**Blaine Anderson: **...?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm from disbelief*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm?

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**Finn Hudson** to **Quinn Fabray: **I know you're still hurting from your break up with **Sam Evans. **But I just want you to know...I love you, **Quinn Fabray. **

**Mercedes Jones, Tina Cohen-Chang, **and **Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Quinn Fabray: **I love you too, **Finn Hudson**!

**Finn Hudson **likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **$50 says this two will break-up because of Jewish Princess

**Kurt Hummel: **$70 says Finn will get Quinn pregnant

**Mercedes Jones: **$90 says there's a Fabsonerry love triangle in the works here.

**Britney S. Pierce: **What does $100 say?

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm?

**Noah Puckerman: ***double facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **Would you guys just stop doing facepalms so that she won't ask you so much about it?

**Mercedes Jones and Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Britney S. Pierce: **Seriously, what does $100 say?

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**Quinn Fabray **has changed her status from **single **to **in a relationship with Finn Hudson**

**Quinn Fabray **and **Finn Hudson **likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **This is just like Titanic. It's going to sink soon.

**Finn Hudson: **Do I detect a little jealousy?

**Noah Puckerman: **Wow...'detect' that such a hard word to say for a pea brain like you.

**Finn Hudson: ***throws a dictionary at Noah*

**Noah Puckerman: ***got the dictionary and threw it back to man boobs* So that's why you know the word 'detect'.

**Kurt Hummel: **Would you stop throwing dictionaries! Finn's actually throwing dictionaries here and I'm the one who's getting hit.

**Finn Hudson: ***throws again a dictionary*

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay that is it. I'm so going to cut you. *walks to the kitchen to grab a knife to kill his step-brother*

**Britney S. Pierce: **Will you be using safety scissors?

**Blaine Anderson: **Run! Finn! Run!

**Finn Hudson: **is being chased by his psycho brother who's carrying a knife! Help me!

**Blaine Anderson: **I told you to run and yet you won't listen to me.

**Britney S. Pierce: **is running because Blainey said to run.

**Blaine Anderson: **You've got to be kidding me. *facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: **is going to save her boyfriend from psycho **Kurt Hummel**. Also, STOP BLOWING UP MY NOTIFICATIONS!

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**Finn Hudson: **loves his girlfriend so much for saving him from his psycho brother.

**Quinn Fabray **likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **Finn, you should always know that never ever cross **Kurt Hummel **unless you want to die.

**Kurt Hummel: **I agree with what Blaine. No one crosses Kurt Hummel.

**Wes Yang**: I have to agree with them. When I crossed Kurt last Monday, he flushed my gavel down the toilet. :(

**Blaine Anderson: **The Warblers and I love that he done that.

**David Thompson, Thad Steven, **and **37 **others like.

**Wes Yang: **Screw you all! *hits you all with his gavel*

**Kurt Hummel: **I promise you tomorrow you will never see that gavel again. *insert evil laugh here*

**Wes Yang: **is looking for a place to hide his gavel. **Kurt Hummel** will never find it.

**Blaine Anderson: **He's hiding it under his boxers in the drawer.

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you, Anderson!

**Blaine Anderson: **Sadly you're not my type. And I have a boyfriend.

**Kurt Hummel and David Thompson **likes this

**David Thompson: **He's mine. :)

**Kurt Hummel: **Are you guys sure you're not gay?

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**Blaine Anderson: **has the best boyfriend in the world!

**Jeremiah Watson **likes this

**David Thompson: **Since Wes is busy hiding his beloved gavel, he asked me to do this for him. ^dislike or you will get hit by the gavel^

**Mercedes Jones, Thad Stevens, **and **156 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **I will get you for that David!

**David Thompson: **Never! You will thank me for that someday!

**Blaine Anderson: **The day that happens is the day I marry Neil Patrick Harris

**Britney S. Pierce: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **Why did you facepalm?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Because no one was writing one yet.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **Yehey! I was the first to facepalm!

**Blaine Anderson: ***double facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm?

**Blaine Anderson: ***triple facepalm* Oh my God! My forehead's bleeding! Help me!

**Kurt Hummel: **On my way!

**Noah Puckerman: **Get some!

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**Author's Note: So if it was funny to you, please tell me because this is my first humor fanfic. **

**This is not a one shot. I'll be updating soon. **

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! **


	2. Foursomes, Facepalms, and You Britney

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**Author's Note: Another chapter done. I've decided to make per chapter 1, 500 words each. So, I hope you like it. And thanks for the kind reviews! I didn't know I was funny...hehe...**

**Valentine's Day today! For Glee that is!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. As simple as that! **

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**Chapter Two:**

**Foursomes, Facepalms and You Britney**

**Blaine Anderson: **Happy Valentine's Day to all! Especially my **Jeremiah Watson**

**Jeremiah Watson **likes this

**Wes Yang: **I'm back baby! ^dislike so much^

**Mercedes Jones **and **143 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Here we go again...

**Britney S. Pierce: **No one told me what a facepalm is. :(

**Kurt Hummel: **Boo, it's when you hit your forehead with your hand either in disbelief or exasperation.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Oh...Thanks Dolphin!

**Kurt Hummel: **Welcome boo!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Boo?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes?

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's disbelief or exasperation?

**Kurt Hummel:** *facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **Why does everyone keep blowing up my notifications?

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**Noah Puckerman **has just added **Lauren Zizes **

**Noah Puckerman: **loves **Lauren Zizes **

**Lauren Zizes: **Barf!

**Jacob Ben Israel **and **96 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **Jew Fro run for your life before I catch you and kill you!

**Jacob Ben Israel: **is running for his life.

**Lauren Zizes: **Nice one!

**Noah Puckerman: **Thanks babe! :)

**Lauren Zizes: **Don't call me babe!

**Noah Puckerman: **Sorry

**Finn Hudson: **You got served!

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**Artie Abrams: **loves his girlfriend.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Who's you're girlfriend?

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **You

**Britney S. Pierce: **Who's You?

**Artie Abrams: **You Britney

**Britney S. Pierce: **That is so cool! We have the same name. When can I meet her, Artie?

**Finn Hudson: ***slams his forehead on the keyboard*

**Santana Lopez: **Don't slam your head so much. You'll lose what's left in that pea sized brain of yours.

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you!

**Santana Lopez: **Sure! Want to have a threesome with me and Salamander lips?

**Sam Evans: **O_O

**Finn Hudson: **No thank you.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Can I join?

**Sam Evans: **O_O O_O O_O

**Santana Lopez: **Sure, come to my house now.

**Britney S. Pierce: **is going to Santana's house to have a threesome. Yehey!

**Artie Abrams: **is going to stop his girlfriend from having a threesome.

**Santana Lopez: **Kill joy!

**Noah Puckerman: **A threesome can't happen without the Puckersaurus!

**Sam Evans: **O_O O_O O_O O_O

**Santana Lopez: **Then come over!

**Noah Puckerman: **is going to Santana's house as fast as you can say 'foursome'

**Sam Evans: **O_O I need more condoms...

**Finn Hudson: **I envy you right now.

**Quinn Fabray: **Finn Christopher Hudson! *glaring at Finn*

**Finn Hudson: **I was joking!

**Quinn Fabray: **PM me now!

**Finn Hudson: **is in trouble.

**Rachel Berry **likes this

**Artie Abrams: **I was too late. But at least I get to watch.

**Lauren Zizes: **Me too.

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**Lauren Zizes: **Wow! That was hot!

**Lauren Zizes: **Puckerman! In my pants now!

**Noah Puckerman: **Yes ma'am!

**Finn Hudson: **Can Puck fit in Lauren's pants?

**Finn Hudson: **...

**Finn Hudson: **Oh my God! Mental images in my head! HELP!

**Rachel Berry **likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Screw you, Rach!

**Rachel Berry: **Can't! Waiting till marriage!

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**Santana Lopez: **has just had the best Valentine's Day foursome anyone can ever have. Thank you. **Noah Puckerman, Britney S. Pierce, **and **Sam Evans. **

**Wes Yang, David Thompson, **and **71 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **Of course, Wes and David will like this. They love sex as much as they love each other.

**Wes Yang, David Thompson, **and **Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Wes Yang: **It just shows we have an incredible bromance!

**Kurt Hummel: **Are you really sure you're not gay?

**Wes Thompson: **Fuck You!

**Kurt Hummel: **Yup 100% gay. Plus, you're not my type either.

**Blaine Anderson **likes this

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**Tina Cohen-Chang **to **Mike Chang: **I love you, Mike!

**Mike Chang: **I love you more!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Mike Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Mike Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Mike Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Mike Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Mike Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Mike Chang: **No, I love you more!

**Britney S. Pierce: ***facepalm*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Why'd you facepalm?

**Britney S. Pierce: **I thought the post needed a facepalm.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***facepalm*

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**Mercedes Jones: **is all alone on Valentine's Day. Being single sucks!

**Kurt Hummel: **You and me both sister!

**Rachel Berry **and **Britney S. Pierce **likes this

**Rachel Berry: **Why'd you like that, Britney?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, aren't you with Artie?

**Britney S. Pierce: **He's with You Britney.

**Kurt Hummel: ***shakes his head from disbelief*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: **It means his girlfriend is you, Britney!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Yeah, I know. We have the same name. You Britney!

**Kurt Hummel: **I give up! *walks out dramatically*

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**David Thompson **to **Mercedes Jones: **Mercedes? Can I ask you something?

**Mercedes Jones: **Yes?

**David Thompson: **Will you be my Valentine?

**Mercedes Jones: **...

**David Thompson: ***wishes Mercedes says yes*

**Mercedes Jones: **Hell to the YES!

**David Thompson: **Yahoo! *cartwheel*

**Kurt Hummel: **I dub thee, Mercevid!

**Mercedes Jones and David Thompson **likes this

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**Wes Yang: **is jealous of Mercevid

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* Gay as the fourth of July *cough*

**Wes Yang: **^dislike^

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert smirk* Haha! No one agreed.

**Wes Yang: **Fuck You!

**Blaine Anderson: **I thought you wanted to fuck Kurt?

**Burt Hummel: **What the hell am I reading about fucking my son?

**Kurt Hummel: **Dad? What are you doing on facebook?

**Kurt Hummel: **Guys! Run! He has a shot gun!

**Wes Yang: **is running for his life.

**Blaine Anderson: **is right behind **Wes Yang**, screaming like a little girl.

**Burt Hummel: **Kurt! Upstairs! NOW!

**Kurt Hummel: **Fuck!

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**Kurt Hummel: **is forever scarred because he just had the "Sex Talk" with his father.

**Blaine Anderson: **You have my sympathy, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thanks Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Do you want to sing about it?

**Kurt Hummel: **I thought you'd never ask. Be there at ten.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Where's ten?

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**Artie Abrams: **has just broke up with You Britney and wants to be with **Britney S. Pierce**

**Kurt Hummel: **Seriously?

**Rachel Berry **likes this

**Britney S. Pierce: **Why'd you break up with You Britney?

**Artie Abrams: **Because I'm in love with **Britney S. Pierce**

**Kurt Hummel, Tina Cohen-Chang, **and **87 **others likes this

**Britney S. Pierce: **I love you too, Artie!

**Finn Hudson: **Finally! She understands!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Understands what?

**Finn Hudson: ***slams his head on the wall*

**Santana Lopez: **Do you even need to say it?

**Finn Hudson: ***rolls eyes* fuck you!

**Santana Lopez: **Can't. I'm fucking **Sam Evans **right now.

**Finn Hudson: **O_O You're having sex with Sam while facebooking? WTH?

**Santana Lopez: **Duh! Multitasking!

**Britney S. Pierce: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: **Finally got one right, Boo! Praise Grillled Cheesus! *damn Finn*

**Finn Hudson: **Hey!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Got what right?

**Kurt Hummel: ***face freaking palm*

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**Blaine Anderson: **is sad that his boyfriend cancelled on their dinner on the last minute.

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **is surprised that **Wes Yang **did not dislike what he posted.

**David Thompson: **He's looking for his gavel. Kurt succeeded. Thank you, Kurt! You've saved us all. *bows*

**Kurt Hummel: **Thank you, David. And Blaine, I'm sorry Jeremiah cancelled.

**Blaine Anderson: **Thanks, Kurt. Hey, what are you doing?

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm all alone on Valentine's Day so I'm watching romance movies while Facebooking at my house. Why?

**Blaine Anderson: **Come to Dalton and let's watch 'When Harry Met Sally'.

**Kurt Hummel: **I get to be Meg Ryan?

**Blaine Anderson: **As long as I get to be your Billy Crystal

**David Thompson: **You guys are flirting you know that?

**Blaine Anderson: **No were not.

**David Thompson: ***cough* Clueless *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **Ignore David. I'll be there soon.

**Noah Puckerman: **Get some!

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**Finn Hudson: **Has anyone seen Kurt? He didn't go home last night.

**Mercedes Jones: **My boy didn't go home! CALLING ALL NEW DIRECTIONS! MY BOY IS MISSING! SEARCH PARTY MODE PEOPLE!

**Wes Thompson: **Keep your panties on, Mercedes!

**David Thompson: **Hey! Don't call my girl like that!

**Mercedes Jones **likes this

**Wes Thompson: **No search parties! Kurt's at Dalton...sleeping next to Blaine... *insert smile here*

**Finn Hudson: **What the hell is my baby brother doing at Dalton?

**Mercedes Jones: **And why is he sleeping next to Overly Hair-Gelled White Boy?

**David Thompson: ***shrugs* no idea.

**Wes Yang: **I have an idea. *insert evil laugh*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang **has just uploaded a picture and **tagged Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, **and **109 **others.

**Wes Yang: **Revenge is sweet. Muhahahahahahah!

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley! Why the hell did you took a picture of me and Kurt sleeping together? Have you gone insane? Wait...You are insane! What the hell dude!

**Kurt Hummel: **Wesley! Hide before I find you. You're gavel is going to die unless you take that picture off! Plus, who in the hell gave you an authority? You are so dead!

**David Thompson: **Uh oh, Wes! You made Klaine angry!

**Wes Thompson: **Love the couple name!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jeremiah Watson **to **Blaine Anderson: **How could you sleep with Kurt? How could you?

**Blaine Anderson: **We just slept on the same bed. We had a movie marathon. We fell tired and I didn't want him to drive while he's tired.

**Jeremiah Watson: **How can I trust you again?

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh for Grilled Cheesus sakes...wait where the hell did that came from?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson **is **in a relationship **with **Jeremiah Watson **and **it's complicated**

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm going to kill you, **Wes Yang**!

**Kurt Hummel: **You and me both. Prepare to die.

**Wes Yang: **Help me!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Santana Lopez **is **in a relationship **with **Sam Evans**

**Britney S. Pierce: **is jealous

**Santana Lopez: **Why are you jealous?

**Britney S. Pierce: ***shrugs* So are you like...lebanese now?

**Santana Lopez: **What the hell are you talking about?

**Santana Lopez: **Brit?

************Facebook Addicts************

**David Thompson** has just uploaded a **video **called **Klaine vs. Wes Yang **and has **tagged 117 **people

**Mercedes Jones: **Honey, this is got to be the funniest thing I've ever watched. Thank you!

**David Thompson: **No problem, babe. Welcome!

**Wes Yang: **I hate you, **David Thompson**!

**David Thompson: **Why?

**Wes Yang: **You actually recorded Kurt and Blaine torturing me with my own gavel while I'm tied up with Kurt's scarfs and a bottle of Blaine's hair gel inside my mouth. Are you kidding me? I thought we were friends.

**David Thompson: **At least you made them bond and maybe realize something.

**Blaine Anderson: **realize what?

**David Thompson: **I have no idea what Kurt sees in him.

**Blaine Anderson: **What are you talking about?

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch slaps David* nothing. At least we got our revenge

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, plus I gave Angeline some pictures of David and Wes showing their gay on.

**Wes Yang: **You did not.

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh I did sir. Revenge is sweet... *evil laugh*

**Britney S. Pierce: **How'd you taste revenge?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: So? Did you like? Please review!**

**If I made you laugh, please tell me what part. For me, everything about this was funny.**

**My favorite part was "You Britney" I can totally see Britney like that. **

**Next chapter will be posted very soon. I will continue this as long as someone reviews so keep reviewing!**

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!**


	3. Will vs Sue and Cold Shoulder Wesley

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: I'm on a roll. Can't stop writing. Chapter Four and Five is already done but I don't want to post. I like to torture you guys. *insert evil laugh***

**I'm kidding. I'd like to post at least every day. I don't want to post twice a day. **

**So, here you go. I hope it's funny because there's drama here! **

**Also, I love you all for the reviews! OMG I have 50 alerts already! You guys are amazing! I love you!**

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to write it?**

**Dedication: **This chapter is dedicated to the first reviewer of this story, **tomfeltonlover1991**. As you requested. There is a Puckleberry here. BTW, I ship Puckleberry but I'm not against Finchel. I love them both but I love Puckleberry more.

Anyway enjoy the story!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Three: **

**Ultimatums, Will vs. Sue, and Cold Shoulder Wesley Plan**

**Will Schuester **has just joined facebook.

**Will Schuester **has added **Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, **and **147 **others

**Will Schuester **likes the page **New Directions**

**Will Schuester: **Alright everyone, let's get down to our setlist.

**Artie Abrams: **$50 says will be singing Journey.

**Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, **and **25 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **What's wrong with Journey?

**Artie Abrams: **Mr. Schue, when was the last time you've listened to the radio?

**Will Schuester: **...?

**Artie Abrams: **Because it seems like you haven't listened to the radio since the 80s

**Will Schuester: **:0 :(

**Noah Puckerman: **Woah! I've never knew you had the guts Artie!

**Kurt Hummel: **I feel bad for Mr. Schue right now. Even though I believe Artie.

**Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry **and **24 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **Why are you guys so mean? *pout*

**Sue Sylvester: **Because William, you're taste in music is as horrible as your taste in hair styles.

**Will Schuester: **:(

**Kurt Hummel: **She does have a point Mr. Schue.

**Will Schuester: **I didn't know my students are mean in Facebook.

**Santana Lopez: **If only he knows what happens in Facebook stays in Facebook.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Noah Puckerman **is single

**Rachel Berry: **What happened with Lauren?

**Noah Puckerman: **I caught her making out with her Robert Pattinson poster. Also, she said he's name while we were getting it on. I feel like she cheated on me.

**Rachel Berry: **Oh...Noah...*puts hand on Noah's shoulder*

**Noah Puckerman: **Wanna make out?

**Rachel Berry: **Sure!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson: **I can't wait for Wednesday!

**Wes Yang: **What's gonna happen on Wednesday?

**Blaine Anderson: **None of your business, Wesley! I don't like to be your friend anymore.

**Wes Yang: **^dislike^

**Wes Yang: **...

**Wes Yang: **Come on! People! Why won't you like my dislike?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **Cannot wait for my coffee date with **Blaine Anderson **on Wednesday!

**Wes Yang: **Ahha! Now I know! Suck it, **Blaine Anderson. **

**Blaine Anderson: **Again, you are not my type.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, remember the plan.

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh right...sorry Kurt.

**Wes Yang: **What plan?

**Wes Yang: **... Guys?

**Wes Yang: **Where the hell is everyone?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Mercedes Jones **is **in a relationship **with **David Thompson **

**David Thompson **is **in a relationship **with **Mercedes Jones **

**David Thompson: **I'm the luckiest bastard in America.

**Mercedes Jones: **You bet your ass Dark Chocolate.

**David Thompson: **Of course, Tater Tots! ;)

**Mercedes Jones: **Me want some Dark Chocolate...now...

**David Thompson: **I want some Tater Tots too. *wink wink*

**Kurt Hummel: **I just lost my appetite. I will never think of Dark Chocolate and Tater Tots without you two popping out in my head. Thanks for ruining chocolate and tots for me. *insert sarcasm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **I want some dark chocolate too!

**Mercedes Jones: **You will never get my man. *insert jealousy*

**Britney S. Pierce: **There's a chocolate man now! Can I meet him? Can I eat him?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm and shakes his head from disbelief*

**David Thompson **and **Mercedes Jones **likes this

**Wes Yang: **Congratulations, David!

**Wes Yang: **David?

**Wes Yang: **...David?

**Wes Yang: **Why is no one talking to me?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* Kurt and Blaine have something to do with this. I can smell Blaine's cluelessness.

************Facebook Addict************

**Jeremiah Watson **to **Blaine Anderson: **Are you busy Friday night?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes, I'm going to the movies with Kurt.

**Jeremiah Watson: **Ugh! You've been spending too much time with Kurt these days

**Blaine Anderson: **PM right now. I don't want Wesley reading this.

**Wes Yang: **Already reading it.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson:**

What is the matter with you, Jeremiah? You've been hating Kurt since Wes posted that picture.

**Jeremiah Watson: **

I do hate Kurt because you two are too close with each other!

**Blaine Anderson: **

Kurt is my best friend, Jeremiah. Of course, we're close.

**Jeremiah Watson: **

But he's gay as you are. And he looks like he's in love with you.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Kurt is not in love with me.

**Jeremiah Watson: **

Someone clueless or you are the only people who will not think Kurt is in love with you.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I 'am not clueless.

**Jeremiah Watson:**

*facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **

Look, how many times will we be fighting about Kurt? Can we just stop this?

**Jeremiah Watson: **

I'm giving you an ultimatum, Anderson. Either break up with Kurt or break up with me.

**Blaine Anderson: **

You're making me chose? Are you kidding? What kind of boyfriend does that?

**Jeremiah Watson: **

Someone who doesn't trust his boyfriend with his best friend who's in love with him. I'm out. I hope you chose the right person, aka me.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Lauren Zizes **to **Noah Puckerman: **Would you stop making out with that hobbit?

**Wes Yang: **Puck and Kurt? Oh my God! I thought Kurt likes...

**Noah Puckerman: **Not my boy, other other Asian. Berry.

**Lauren Zizes: **Stop making out with her and get in my pants!

**Quinn Fabray: **I didn't think you were jealous type.

**Lauren Zizes: **Shut up! Lucy Caboosey!

**Quinn Fabray: ***evil glare* I will get my revenge...

**Finn Hudson: **Would you stop calling Quinn, Lucy Caboosey? It's not her fault she was fat when she was young.

**Quinn Fabray: **Finn Christopher Hudson! *glaring at him angrily*

**Finn Hudson: **What the hell did I do this time?

**Quinn Fabray: **PM me, NOW!

**Finn Hudson: **is in trouble...again

**Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Finn Hudson: **I'll get you for that, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **:P

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sue Sylvester **just created a page called **Will Schuester's hair: A Danger to All Mankind**

**Sue Sylvester **and **158 **others likes the page **Will Schuester's hair: A Danger to All Mankind **

**Will Schuester: **WTH?

**Will Schuester: **Guys? How could you guys even liked that?

**Kurt Hummel: **Sue said she'll shave off our hair if we don't like that page. Sorry, Mr. Schue but I can't rock the bold look.

**Will Schuester: **Sue? *insert angry tone*

**Sue Sylvester: **Yes, Butt Chin?

**Will Schuester: **What the hell is your problem with my hair!

**Sue Sylvester: **Well, Butt Chin, again I don't trust a man with your kind of hair. I can't help but be scared for all of humanity with the little people who are living in that hair of yours that is waiting to invade the world someday.

**Will Schuester: ***shakes head in disbelief*

**Sue Sylvester: **Don't shake your head!

**Will Schuester: **Why?

**Sue Sylvester: **The little people might fall off and the invasion will be sooner than we think.

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm*you've got to be kidding me.

**Sue Sylvester: **Since when do I kid, Butt Chin.

**Will Schuester: **Would you stop calling me, Butt Chin!

**Sue Sylvester: **Not until you put a diaper on that butt shaped chin of yours.

**Will Schuester: **You need to go to a mental institute.

**Sue Sylvester: **You need to go to a barber and tell him to shave your hair off to save us all from a little people invasion.

**Britney S. Pierce: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: **You got one right again.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Got what right again?

**Kurt Hummel: **Why do I even bother?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang **to **David Thompson: **Hey, wanna hang out? I have nothing to do right now.

2 hours later

**Wes Yang: **Dude! I haven't talked to you in a week. I haven't talked to anyone in a week! I need people! I am going to die a social death! I'm all alone! I need someone! Anyone to talk to!

2 hours later

**Wes Yang: **Screw all people in America and Facebook! Screw you all! You'll all face the fury of my beloved gavel, Mr. Bang-Bang!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Britney S. Pierce: **Why can't we talk to other other Asian?

**Santana Lopez: **Because we are helping Kurt and Blaine with their revenge plan?

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a revenge plan?

**Santana Lopez: **You know like...sleeping with someone who's in a relationship.

**Britney S. Pierce: **You mean like, us getting our lady kisses on?

**Santana Lopez: **...Yeah...like that...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Can you we get our lady kisses on?

**Santana Lopez: **Sure Brit!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Can I record it?

**Santana Lopez: **Only if you give me a copy. ;)

**Britney S. Pierce: **Sure.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Noah Puckerman: **I've realized something...

**Quinn Fabray: **That you should stop impregnating women?

**Noah Puckerman: **That...and another thing...

**Quinn Fabray: **What?

**Noah Puckerman: **I'm in love with **Rachel Berry **

**Quinn Fabray: **Okay...I'm leaving now. I'm going to puke for awhile.

**Lauren Zizes: **This is disgusting! Puckerman! In my pants!

**Noah Puckerman: **No! I'm not going to your pants again, Zizes. We are over! I can't be with a woman who's says a vampire's name while I'm inside of her. It kills the mood. I want someone who listens to me and is someone I could hold on to.

**Lauren Zizes: **Do you know you sound like a girl right now?

**Noah Puckerman: **I'm never going to talk to you again.

**Noah Puckerman **has just deleted **Lauren Zizes **as his friend.

**Lauren Zizes: **You are so going to regret this, Puckerman!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry **to **Noah Puckerman: **Is it true, Noah? You love me?

**Noah Puckerman: **Yes, Rachel. I'm in love with you. And I hope you're in love with me too.

**Rachel Berry: **I do, Noah, I do.

**Noah Puckerman: **Then let's consummate this relationship.

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's consummate?

**Noah Puckerman: ***ignoring Britney's comment* Wanna make out?

**Rachel Berry: **Sure!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson **to **Wes Yang: **Dude, where the hell is my ten bottles of hair gels?

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **I know you're on Facebook. You're right in front of me with your laptop in front of you.

**Blaine Anderson: **WESLEY KIM YANG!

**Wes Yang: **I'm sorry...is someone actually talking to me? Cause no one has been talking to me for the last two weeks! What the hell man?

**Blaine Anderson: **What the hell are you blaming me for?

**Wes Yang: **Oh please. I can smell your cluelessness with what's happening to me.

**Blaine Anderson: **Totally uncalled for! I 'am sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm clueless. Especially Jeremiah.

**Wes Yang: **Wait, you and Jeremiah are fighting again?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, why?

**Wes Yang: **^like this or taste the fury of Mr. Bang-Bang^

**David Thompson and 34 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Woohoo! I'm back baby!

**Blaine Anderson: ***hits Wes on the head*

**Wes Yang: **Not cool, Anderson, not cool!

**Blaine Anderson: **What are you talking about? *looking at Wes innocently*

**Wes Yang: **Why do I have gay friends?

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* because you're also gay *cough*

**Wes Yang: **Ignoring that...let's have a little chat, Anderson. PM me!

**Blaine Anderson: **If no one gets a comment from me in the next half-hour, go to Dalton Academy immediately to save me.

**Britney S. Pierce: **But I don't know how to drive.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* I'm doomed.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry **has changed her status from **single **to **in a relationship **with **Noah Puckerman **

**Noah Puckerman: **If someone says we're not going to last, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you and throw your corpse to the sharks.

**Jacob Ben Israel: **I love **Rachel Berry **and you are never going to last.

**Noah Puckerman: **is hunting down **Jacob Ben Israel**. You are going to die, you Jew bastard!

**Rachel Berry: **is chasing after her boyfriend to stop him from killing **Jacob Ben Israel**.

**Rachel Berry: **Noah, let's just make out!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang: **

So, what are you and Jeremiah fighting about now?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Kurt.

**Wes Yang: **

What about Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson: **

He thinks I spend time with him so much.

**Wes Yang: **

But he's your best friend. Of course you spend time with him.

**Blaine Anderson:**

IKR

**Blaine Anderson: **

Now he is giving me an ultimatum. Him or Kurt.

**Wes Yang: **

Please don't tell me your thinking of choosing Jeremiah.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Why?

**Wes Yang: **

*bitch slaps Blaine Anderson* Oh my God, I'm turning into Kurt

**Blaine Anderson:**

*bitch slaps back* Uh oh...so am I

**Wes Yang:**

Look, Blaine, Kurt will never make you choose. He will supports you and trusts you...100%. Jeremiah is making you choose. And he doesn't trust you. Need I say more?

**Blaine Anderson: **

You are definitely right. Thanks Wes.

**Wes Yang: **

No problem.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Sorry for making people to stop talking to you.

**Wes Yang:**

Sorry I dumped all of your hair gel down the toilet.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*shock face* you did what now! 

**Wes Yang:**

*glances at watch* Well look at the time. Got to go bye. *runs out of the dorm*

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wes seriously needs help.

*************Facebook Addicts***********

**Sue Sylvester **just made a page called **Will Schuester should stop rapping because he sucks at it**

**Sue Sylvester, Artie Abrams, **and **456 **others likes the page **Will Schuester should stop rapping because he sucks at it**

**Will Schuester: **Sue! Stop making pages of me.

**Sue Sylvester: **I'm sorry, Butt Chin but this page is a protest so that you would realize you suck at rapping.

**Will Schuester: **I do not suck at rapping.

**Sue Sylvester: **Like this if Butt Chin sucks at rapping

**Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, **and **345 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **I can't believe all of the New Directions likes that

**Rachel Berry: **Speaking for everyone in the Glee club, Mr. Schue, we hate you rapping as much as we hate Journey.

**Santana Lopez: **As much as I hate agreeing with Man hands, I agree with Man hands

**Rachel Berry: **Thanks, I think...

**Will Schuester: **is not going to Facebook for awhile because his kids are mean in Facebook.

**Sue Sylvester: **I won the Facebook war! In your face, Barack Obama! *insert the evilest laugh you ever heard*

**Finn Hudson: Sue Sylvester** seriously needs to go to a mental institute.

**Rachel Berry **and **675 **others likes this

************Facebook Addicts***********

**Blaine Anderson **to **Jeremiah Watson: **I'm choosing Kurt.

**Jeremiah Watson: **I think you misspelled my name wrong.

**Blaine Anderson: **Nope, I'm choosing **Kurt Hummel**

**Jeremiah Watson: **You are going to regret this.

**Blaine Anderson: **No, because Kurt is the only one who trusts me and never makes me choose. He is more of a man than you will ever be.

**Jeremiah Watson: **You suck, Blaine Anderson!

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah I know it sucks, we didn't even get there in our relationship.

**Jeremiah Watson: **Screw you!

**Blaine Anderson: **Nope we didn't even get there too. :P

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson **to **Kurt Hummel: **I miss you!

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, so do I. Blaine, what's this I hear that you and Jeremiah broke up?

**Blaine Anderson: **We did.

**Kurt Hummel: **Do you want to sing about it?

**Blaine Anderson: **I thought you'd never ask.

**Wes Yang: ***cough* just get together already and save us all from our miseries *cough*

**David Thompson, Britney S. Pierce, **and **746 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Yup! I 'am so back, bitches!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Jelaine is over bitches! Thank God! But this doesn't mean Klaine any time soon. I'll torture you all for awhile.**

**BTW, I ship for Klaine, Brittana, Puckleberry, and Fabevans. But I'll be mixing them in this story.**

**BTWA, this story does not follow the timeline of Glee. I'm mixing it up a little.**

**Reviews you make me happy. If the chapter made you happy, tell me which part! **

**My favorite parts are Will vs. Sue and the Wes's parts...**

**My favorite quoter: Wes Kim – "I can smell Blaine's cluelessness" and "You'll all face the fury of my beloved gavel, Mr. Bang-Bang!" **

**Tell me what's your favorite part or who's best quoter and tell me the quote. **

**Again, I'll be only continuing this if I get reviews so review people! I love you all! **

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! Good bye!**


	4. Dolphins, Oversexed Sam,and Couple Names

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Finally, Blaine is free. I just hope he would come to his senses soon. How could someone so hot be so clueless?**

**Also, thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter! Seriously! You are all so freaking awesome! I especially loved the reviews about Mr. Bang-Bang! I love it!**

**This story is in hiatus for awhile. For a week. This is the last chapter for now. I need to start reading my books because my classes are starting. But I promise you all that the next chapters will be extra funnier but one chapter per week. If I can make time. I'm a junior and I'm very busy...**

**Disclaimer: Glee? Not mine. Facebook? Not mine too. Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook? So freaking mine! **

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Four:**

**Dolphins, Oversexed Sam and Couple Names**

**Blaine Anderson: **went from **in a relationship **to **single**

**Wes Yang: **Hallelujah! *choir singing in the background* like and I will all buy you ice cream!

**Mercedes Jones, Thad Stevens, **and **459 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Woah, I didn't expect that many to like that. Oh well...Need to go to the bank...

**David Thompson: **Don't promise ice cream because it's so hot right now. I think everyone would like that.

**Mercedes Jones: **That's not the only thing that's hot right now. *wink wink*

**Santana Lopez: **Wanky! Wanky! And get some!

**David Thompson: **Be there at thirty! ;)

**Britney S. Pierce: **Where's thirty again?

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **Dude, of all the places you and Mercedes can flirt. Why in my freaking wall?

**David Thompson: ***shrugs* no idea. Maybe Mercedes gets turned on by changed statuses.

**Blaine Anderson: ***shakes his head in disbelief* I need to get better friends...

**Kurt Hummel: **She gets turned on by a lot of things...

**David Thompson: **How do you even know that?

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm her best friend. Of course I know. She has a long list that can turn her on. Mostly it consist of different types of food...

**David Thompson: **Kurt,we need to hang out more. *wink wink*

**Blaine Anderson: **Hey! Kurt's my best friend. Back the hell off!

**Wes Yang: **Do I suspect a little jealousy? *smirk*

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine comes first no matter what. He's my best friend.

**Blaine Anderson **and **Britney S. Pierce **likes this

**Britney S. Pierce: **Blainey?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes, Britney?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you single?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Why am I not surprised?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes I 'am. My status says I'm single so that makes me single. *no sarcasm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **So, are you and Dolphin going to make Dolphin babies now?

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O ...

**Wes Yang: **O_O ...

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O ...

**Wes Yang: **I love you right now, Britney.

**Artie Abrams: **Hey! She's my girlfriend.

**Wes Yang: **Oh you know what I mean!*rolls his eyes*

**Wes Yang: **islooking at **Blaine** **Anderson**'s reaction in his dorm right now. Priceless!

**Wes Yang: **is taking a picture of **Blaine Anderson**'s reaction right now.

**Wes Yang: **Blaine's picture is so going on Facebook.

**Wes Yang: **Just got hit by Mr. Bang-Bang by **Blaine Anderson. **Ouch...

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, what did Britney meant?

**Kurt Hummel: ***glances at watch* Well look at the time. I'm late for my moisturizing routine. Bye!

**Wes Yang: **Did Kurt know it's just six o'clock?

**Blaine Anderson: **Britney? What do you mean?

**Britney S. Pierce: **What are you talking about?

**Blaine Anderson: **Me and Kurt making Dolphin babies. What does that mean?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Who's Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson: ***face freaking palm*

**Wes Yang: **I love you, **Britney S. Pierce**! Another picture of **Blaine Anderson **going to Facebook.

**Artie Abrams: **Stop saying I love you to my girlfriend!

**Wes Yang: ***cough* jealous much *cough*

**Wes Yang: **Another headache courtesy of **Blaine Anderson. **Thanks man! *insert sarcasm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Noah Puckerman: **Puckleberry is the best glee couple of all time!

**Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman **likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Uh no...Fabson is the best glee couple of all time!

**Quinn Fabray and Finn Hudson **likes this

**Mike Chang: **You are both wrong. Chang-Chang is the best forever!

**Tina Cohen-Chang and Mike Chang **likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **No! Puckleberry is!

**Finn Hudson: **Fabson!

**Mike Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Noah Puckerman: **No! Puckleberry is!

**Finn Hudson: **Fabson!

**Mike Chang: **Chang-Chang FTW!

**Noah Puckerman: **No! Puckleberry is!

**Finn Hudson: **Fabson!

**Mike Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Noah Puckerman: **No! Puckleberry is!

**Finn Hudson: **Fabson!

**Mike Chang: **Chang-Chang FTW!

**Noah Puckerman: **No! Puckleberry is!

**Finn Hudson: **Fabson! FTW!

**Mike Chang: **Chang-Chang! FTW!

**Sue Sylvester: **SHUT UP! OR I'll CASTRATE YOU ALL!

**Noah Puckerman: ***hides under a rock*

**Finn Hudson: ***joins Puck in hiding under a rock*

**Mike Chang: ***joins them hiding under a rock*

**Kurt Hummel: **Men are such cowards...

**Quinn Fabray, Tina Cohen-Chang, and Rachel Berry **likes this

************Facebook Addicts************

**Britney S. Pierce **to **Blaine Anderson: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **I have many names but never once was I called a dolphin.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **I've been called a hobbit many times...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **I've been called Mr. Dapper many times because I usually just wear uniforms and I rarely wear casuals...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **I've been called Poster Boy because I look like the perfect Dalton Student. You can't blame them. I look awesome...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **I've been called Rich Boy by bullies at my past school...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **A lot of boys call me Blainey boy, which I like even if I'm gay...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **Someone named Sue Sylvester even calls me the love child of Will Schuester and a hobbit. I don't get it though...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **But never once was I called a dolphin...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh my God, I'm going to go crazy with **Britney S. Pierce**!

**Kurt Hummel, Noah Puckerman, **and **989 **others likes this

************Facebook Addicts************

**Artie Abrams: **Britney + Artie = Bartie! Bartie rules!

**Britney S. Pierce: **I don't like Bartie

**Artie Abrams: **O_O :( O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **Ouch!

**Artie Abrams: **Why?

**Britney S. Pierce: **It sounds so much like Britney and Artie.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **Britney, it supposed to sound like Artie and Britney.

**Britney S. Pierce: **I like Artitany better than Bartie

**Artie Abrams: **Then our couple name is Artitany

**Britney S. Pierce: **Cool!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Britney S. Pierce** changed her name to **Britney S. Artitany **

**Kurt Hummel: **Why did you change your name?

**Britney S. Artitany: **Because Artie said our couple name is Artitany. So I changed my couple name to Artitany.

**Kurt Hummel: **Boo, a couple name is different from a surname.

**Britney S. Artitany: **How?

**Kurt Hummel: **A couple name is the name of couple mixed together. A surname is the name of your parents.

**Britney S. Artitany: **I don't get it.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Of course, you don't.

**Kurt Hummel: **You know what, boo. I love the name. Keep it.

**Britney S. Artitany: **I love you my dolphin!

**Blaine Anderson: **Why does she keep calling people dolphins?

**Britney S. Artitany: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **is going insane because of **Britney S. Artitany**!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sam Evans: **can't get out of bed.

**Finn Hudson: **Why?

**Sam Evans: **Santana and I have been getting it on every night. We've done every position known to man. I'm super freaking tired.

**Finn Hudson: **O_O

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O

**Mike Chang: **O_O

**Artie Abrams: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Jacob Ben Israel: **O_O

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, I think every man on earth envies you right now.

**Quinn Fabray: **Finn Christopher Hudson! *glaring*

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm* Oh my God! Not again!

**Quinn Fabray: **PM me NOW!

**Finn Hudson: **She gives me more talks than my own mother does.

**Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Finn Hudson: **I'm going to kill you.

**Kurt Hummel: **Quinn will kill you first before you kill me. :P

**Quinn Fabray: **Now FINN!

**Finn Hudson: ***middle finger at Kurt*

**Kurt Hummel: **:p

**Sam Evans: **Would all of you stop blowing up my notifications?

**Santana Lopez: **Hey Salamander lips! I just found a position we haven't done yet.

**Sam Evans: ***looks at the heavens* help me Grilled Cheesus!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson **to **Wes Yang: **Another Warbler practice? Seriously? Are you kidding me?

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley? Hello? Anyone there?

**Britney S. Artitany: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **OMG! Britney! You are facebook stalking me now! Stop asking me if I'm a dolphin! I'm human! I'm a gay teenage boy! I 'am not a dolphin!

**Wes Yang: **I love you **Britney S. Artitany**!

**Britney S. Artitany: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **Uhhh...

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay, now, I love that Britney keeps asking about dolphins. :)

**Britney S. Artitany: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **On second thought, I take it back.

************Facebook Addicts***********

**Sam Evans: **is as tired as hell...fuck you **Santana Lopez**...oh wait...I did...100 times I think...

**Noah Puckerman: **I'm so jealous...

**Mike Chang, Finn Hudson, **and **7 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **Every boy who likes that will never get to second base with any of the ND girls. Right girls?

**Quinn Fabray **and **7 **others likes this.

**Finn Hudson: **I want to be **Sam Evans **right now.

**Sam Evans: **Please be me. I'm so tired. I'm even tired to breathe air.

**Quinn Fabray: **Finn Christopher Hudson! 

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah yeah yeah...I'll PM you...

**Santana Lopez: **Salamander lips! I just found a position we haven't done yet! It involves a lot of whip cream and chocolate sauce! Oh my God! Me hungry for a Bieberlicious **Sam Evans **Sundae! On top? Me! *licks lips so hungrily its she hadn't eaten for years*

**Finn Hudson: **O_O I'm so freaking jealous of you right now!

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O God! You're so lucky you're getting some!

**Mike Chang: **O_O Have you guys had Asian sex?

**Artie Abrams: **O_O Do you guys have a sex video?

**Wes Yang: **O_O Can I watch?

**David Thompson: **O_OCan I join Wes?

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O I can't lie that I'm not turned on. Sam + Whip cream? No gay guy can resist!

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O I so believe you Kurt

**Jacob Ben Israel: **O_O Why can't I get laid! *cries like hell*

**Sam Evans: **Help me! I don't want to have sex anymore! Ever in my entire life! God! Yahweh! Buddha! Zeus! Poseidon! Jesus! Michael Jackson! Justin Bieber! Darren Criss! Grilled Cheesus! Help me! Please have mercy on me and my very tired penis! I don't want it to fall off! Please!

************Facebook Addict************

**Britney S. Pierce **to **Blaine Anderson: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **Britney! For the love of Yahweh, Buddha, Zeus, Poseidon, Jesus, Michael Jackson, Justin Bieber, Ryan Murphy, and Grilled Cheesus! STOP ASKING ME IF I'M A DOLPHIN! I'M SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD TEENAGE GAY BOY WHO LOVES KATY PERRY AND HAIR GEL! THAT'S IT!

**Britney S. Pierce: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **Sweet Grilled Cheesus! Thank Freaking You! Finally she has stopped.

**Britney S. Pierce: **...are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Blaine?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Mr. Dapper?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Blainey boy?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Love child of Mr. Schue and a hobbit?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Possible Dolphin?

**Kurt Hummel: **Boo? What did you do to Blaine?

**Britney S. Pierce: **What do you mean, Dolphin?

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine fainted from too much rage. What have you been doing?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Asking him if he's a dolphin.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* of course you were... He is a dolphin! 

**Britney S. Pierce: **How are you sure?

**Kurt Hummel: **Now I get why Blaine fainted...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Who's Blaine and what's fainted.

**Kurt Hummel: ***Supermegafoxyawesomehot facepalm and joins Blaine fainting because of rage and annoyance of Britney*

**Britney S. Pierce: **Dolphin?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Love of child of Mr. Schue and a hobbit?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Is someone here a dolphin?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hellllllooooooo...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Am I a dolphin?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry is the best glee couple ever! No one can beat it!

**Quinn Fabray: **Shut up hobbit! Fabson is the best! Vote for us for Prom Queen and King!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Look...Rachel is the best at singing. Quinn is most beautiful girl in the world. Me and Mike are the best couple in glee! 

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry!

**Quinn Fabray: **Fabson!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry!

**Quinn Fabray: **Fabson!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry!

**Quinn Fabray: **Fabson!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry!

**Quinn Fabray: **Fabson!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry!

**Quinn Fabray: **Fabson!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Rachel Berry: **Puckleberry!

**Quinn Fabray: **Fabson!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Chang-Chang!

**Sue Sylvester: **SHUT UP OR I WILL TAKE ALL OF YOUR OVARIES AND FEED THEM TO THE INDIANS **(A/N: I 'am not racist! We all know that India is one of the poorest countries in the world because of its population. I'm not being mean and this all pure joking and laughter purposes! Please no one will review and tell me I'm racist. Again, I'm not racist! I love all races! Besides Asian for heavensake! Indians and Filipinos are Asians! That means were kind off siblings!)**

**Rachel Berry: **does not want her ovaries taken.

**Tina Cohen-Chang and Quinn Fabray **likes this

**Sue Sylvester: **Besides, Ugly nose, Cohen-Loser, and Stretch marks that will never go away. You are wrong with who's the best glee couple.

**Quinn Fabray: **Then who coach?

**Sue Sylvester: **One Sue Sylvester and her wife, One Sue Sylvester

**Quinn Fabray: **...

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: **O_O *facepalm*

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O *facepalm*

**Mike Chang: **O_O *facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **O_O *facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O *facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: **Quinn, you shouldn't have asked.

**Quinn Fabray: **I hate to agree with you hobbit but I have to agree with you.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **She really needs help...

**Rachel Berry **and **1,890,376** likes this

**Sue Sylvester: **You will be hearing from lawyer, Gloria Allred! My wife and I will sue your asses!

**Kurt Hummel: **Definitely needs help...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sue Sylvester: **and her wife will be suing New Directions and Butt Chin for insulting her and her wife's sanities! See you at court, Butt Chin!

**Will Schuester: **How are you not in a mental institute?

**Rachel Berry **and **85,244,526 **others likes this

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sam Evans: **is going to die from too much sex.

**Noah Puckerman: **Dude that's the best way to die.

**Finn Hudson: **You're lucky to die a naked and sexy death!

**Sam Evans: **please help me! Please take off **Santana Lopez **from my bed.

**Finn Hudson: **Why the hell would we do that? We won't be spoiler sports.

**Sam Evans: **is five minutes away from dying from too much sex. Goodbye Stacy! Goodbye Stan! Goodbye mom and dad! Goodbye Astronomy! Goodbye New Directions! Goodbye Avatar! Goodbye world!

**Finn Hudson: **Oversexed lucky bastard drama king...

**Noah Puckerman: **Fine! Fuck will be coming there. Better put some clothes on Trouty Mouth!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Noah Puckerman: **Wow!

**Artie Abrams: **What? What happened? Is the new Halo videogame released? Please tell me!

**Mike Chang, Blaine Anderson, **and **980,357,246 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **No...not that...

**Wes Yang: **^dislike bitches^

**Artie Abrams **and **1,543,654,364 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **NO! Sam was really dying in his own room. Damn you guys should have seen him. He WAS dying of too much sex. Damn Santana...

**Santana Lopez: **What? He was really good...can't help myself.

**Noah Puckerman: **You could have killed him with you positions and sex toys...

**Santana Lopez: **So? At least I was getting laid...not like man-hands...

**Rachel Berry: **BITCH! I'm going to get laid later and you will suck my CLIT! Come on Noah!

**Noah Puckerman: **YES! I'm finally getting laid! Catch you all motherfuckers later!

**Sam Evans: **I'm breaking up with you Santana!

**Santana Lopez: **... NO ONE BREAKS UP WITH SANTANA LOPEZ! That's is not what Lima Heights do! 

**Sam Evans: **Well this how Evans do...We are not Samtana anymore! I can't die because of sex! You made sex boring now to me! Now I will never get it back! I hate you! I will never ever screw another woman because of you! You ruined me to all women! I hate you!

**Santana Lopez: **:( First time a guy actually doesn't want to sleep with me. Wow it hurts...so much...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Santana Lopez: **needs break up sex and hang over sex. Who is available?

**Wes Yang: **Go to Dalton Academy now and let's play Mr. Bang-Bang's favorite game.

**Santana Lopez: **is going to Dalton Academy to get her Mr. Bang-Bang on!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Britney S. Pierce **to **Blaine Anderson: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **... Kurt help me before I actually lose my dapperness and do something to Britney...

**Kurt Hummel: **Why?

**Blaine Anderson: **BECAUSE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SHE KEEPS ASKING ME IF I'M A DOLPHIN!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* *thinks* Why am I attracted to clueless men? Must be the hair... *thinks*

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, I'll make Britney explain why she keeps asking you if you're a dolphin. Just keep your cool. Listen Katy Perry for one minute.

**Blaine Anderson: **is listening to Thinking of You by Katy Perry

**Kurt Hummel: **Boo?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Yes dolphin?

**Kurt Hummel: **Please tell Blaine why you keep asking him if he's a dolphin.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Did you know that dolphins are like gay sharks?

**Kurt Hummel: ***unplugs the ear phones in Blaine's ear* see Blaine? Do you get it now?

**Blaine Anderson: **...Is she asking if I'm gay?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes

**Blaine Anderson: **...you've got to be kidding me...

**Kurt Hummel: **Britney never kids...she is very serious all the time...

**Blaine Anderson: **She's been asking me if I was a dolphin for a month now. All this time, she was just asking me if I'm gay!

**Kurt Hummel: **She's very patient and persistent

**Blaine Anderson: **ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! SHE'S BEEN ANNOYING ME FOR SO LONG! I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING IF I'AM A DOLPHIN!

**Kurt Hummel: **:) *can't help but laugh* HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!

**Blaine Anderson: ***angry look* This is not funny Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel: **Don't get angry at me. Just answer her and your hell about dolphins is done.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson: **YES! I 'am! I'm GAY! I'm A DOLPHIN! I'm a GAY SHARK! Just stop asking me please! *on his knees*

**Britney S. Pierce: **Oh...Okay...Kurt's a dolphin too! 

**Kurt Hummel:** Yes, I 'am a dolphin, boo! And proud to be a dolphin!

**Blaine Anderson: **can't help but laugh at what Kurt said. I'm proud to be a dolphin too.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you two going to make Dolphin babies now?

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O ...

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O ...

**Wes Yang: **Blaine and Kurt's faces right now is priceless! Time to take a picture!

**Wes Yang: **Another Klaine picture to post on Facebook!

**Blaine Anderson: ***hits Wes with Mr. Bang-Bang* No. Britney, Kurt and I are not making Dolphin babies...

**Kurt Hummel: ***takes Mr. Bang-Bang from Blaine and hits Wes again* I have to agree with Blaine...no Dolphin making...

**Britney S. Pierce: **:( ... Awwwww...But Dolphins are getting instinct... :(

**Kurt Hummel: **Sorry...boo

**Britney S. Pierce: **:(

**Wes Yang: **Why does Klaine always hurt me with Mr. Bang-Bang?

**Britney S. Pierce: ***turns to Wes* ...

**Britney S. Pierce: **...Are you a dolphin

**Wes Yang: **Uhhhh...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **No...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **I said NO!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **I said NO!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **Ask me if I'm a dolphin again and you will taste the supermegaawesome fury of Mr. Bang-Bang!

**Britney S. Pierce: **...are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **That is it! Mr. Bang-Bang is calling!

**Wes Yang: **...

**Wes Yang: **Wait...where's Mr. Bang-Bang?

**Wes Yang: **...

**Wes Yang: **KURT! BLAINE! Where in the hell is MR. BANG-BANG!

**Blaine Anderson: **:) *shrugs*

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Wes Yang: **I hate you two so much!

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Wes Yang: **If you flush Mr. Bang-Bang in the toilet again! I will take all of Darren Criss posters!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: **AHHHHH! NO! I'm not a dolphin! I just sometimes act gay like must be because I'm friends with two gay guys who are in love with each other but won't get together!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you a dolphin?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* Mr. Bang-Bang where are you? Why did you leave me?

**Blaine Anderson: **:) I love you Britney!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Okay...I love this chapter so much so funny! I found everything funny and I hope all of you found it funny too!**

**A ship a new fandom but for this story only and no romantic intentions. It's more of a friendship. Brilaine: Britney and Blaine. I love this two so much in this chapter!**

**My favorite parts: Sam's parts and Brilaine!**

**My favorite quoter and quote: Need I say it? Britney S. Pierce: "Are you a dolphin?" **

**Only 10 more alerts and I already have 100 alerts with this story! Everyone who alerted, I love you guys forever. Four chapters and 90 alerts! You guys are so freaking awesome!**

**I'm sorry this chapter has a hiatus. Especially since Chapter Five is done but I really need to study.**

**Again, I'm going to continue this if I get reviews so review and I will love you forever! If you don't review, Wesley has something to say to you:**

**Wes Yang: Review and alert this chapter or you will face the supermegafoxyawesomefury of my beloved gavel, Mr. Bang-Bang!**

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! **


	5. Parental Guidance and the Break Up Trend

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Looks like I found the time to write this. **

**Major drama happens in the Gleek Facebook! Read now!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Facebook but I do own this amazing fan fic that a lot of people love and read! Take that bitches!**

************Facebook Addicts***********

**Chapter Five:**

**Parental Guidance and the Break Up Trend**

**Tina Cohen-Chang **to **Mike Chang: **I'm sick and tired of our dates!

**Mercedes Jones: **Why? Are the dates that bad?

**Mike Chang: **My parents come along with us.

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh hell to the no! That sucks big time!

**Tina Cohen-Chang **and **28 **others likes this

**Tina Cohen-Chang**: I'm sorry, Mike. I'm breaking up with you. I don't like having a boyfriend who brings his parents to our dates. It just kills the entire mood. 20 dates with your parents is enough.

**Mercedes Jones: **O_OHell to the naw! You guys are perfect for each other! You can't break up! ^dislike so much^

**Wes Yang: **Hey! That's my line! Don't steal it from me! *insert glare*

**David Thompson: **Hey that's my girl! Don't get mad at her. If she wants to steal your line, let her! Be gentlemen for once in your goddamn life!

**Wes Yang: **Dude! What the hell happened to the bro code? "Bros before Hoes!"

**David Thompson: **We stopped following that code since we met Blaine. That code doesn't work with hobbits.

**Blaine Anderson: **Are you guys insulting me?

**Wes Yang: ***ignoring Blaine* Still that is my line. You know that, David!

**Mercedes Jones: **Fine! It's your line. Suck it for all I care! *walks out dramatically*

**Wes Yang: **David, I don't know what you see in this girl. *shakes head from disbelief*

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* Wes is jealous *cough* Wes is super gay *cough*

**David Thompson: ***ignoring the hobbit* you have no say with who I date! I'm not commenting about what you and Santana are doing while you're dating Angeline! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER!

**Wes Yang: **I 'am not a cheater! Angeline cheats on me too! You know that! Besides, THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

**David Thompson: **SO IS ME AND TATER TOTS!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Um...guys? You're fighting on my wall. Might I suggest you guys PM each other?

**Wes Yang: **STAY OUT OF THIS!

**David Thompson: **YEAH! GO FUCK YOURSELF ON THE CORNER!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **O_O *starts to cry*

**Mike Chang: **Hey! No one talks to my girl like that!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***still crying* I'm not you're girl anymore, Mike!

**Mike Chang: **Asian babe, please, can we talk about this?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **NO! *cries harder*

**Mike Chang: ***Asian hug and shows hot abs*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***pushes away Asian hug and very hot abs* I don't need your Asian hug and hot abs! *runs away crying*

**Mike Chang: **Asian babe, please!

**Mike Chang: **...

**Mike Chang: **Tina!

**Blaine Anderson: **That's okay, Mike. We're here for you. *puts a hand on Mike's shoulder*

**Mike Chang: ***ignoring Blaine* TINA! *draws out word dramatically*

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert confused look* Why is everyone ignoring me?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Mercedes Jones **to **David Thompson: **I'm breaking up with you, Dark Chocolate!

**David Thompson: **Why, Tater tots? Is this because of Wesley? Because I'm going to hit him with Mr. Bang-Bang if he is the reason. I'm not kidding.

**Mercedes Jones: **It's because of you, Dark Chocolate.

**David Thompson: ***insert very surprised face and wide mouth* what did I do?

**Mercedes Jones: **You keep calling me your girl. I don't like that. You don't own me, Dark Chocolate.

**David Thompson: **...?

**David Thompson: **Fine, I'll stop calling you "my girl". I promise I'll stop. Just please...don't break up with me.

**Mercedes Jones: ***shakes her head* I've made my decision. I'm sorry, Dark Chocolate.

**David Thompson: **Tater tots?

**David Thompson: **...

**David Thompson: **We can talk about this!

**David Thompson: ***on his knees* Taaattteeerrr Tooooootttttttsssss! *insert drama*

**Blaine Anderson: ***face freaking palm* such a drama queen...

*************Facebook Addicts************

**Britney S. Pierce **to **David Thompson: **So, you and Mercedes broke up.

**David Thompson: **Yeah...please don't remind me, Britney. I'm still mourning...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Can I ask you about something?

**David Thompson: **Unless it's about numbers, I'll pass.

**Britney S. Pierce: **...what are numbers?

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* What's the question?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Can I eat you?

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **has just took a picture of **David Thompson **

**Wes Yang: **another picture of **David Thompson **going to Facebook. Priceless!

**Wes Yang: **another headache cause by Mr. Bang-Bang by **David Thompson**

**Wes Yang: **Would the Warblers please stop hitting me with Mr. Bang-Bang? Only I can use Mr. Bang-Bang!

**Blaine Anderson: **As your friend, Wes, I'm saying this because I care. Seek help. Seriously, who the hell names a freaking gavel? Come freaking on!

**Wes Yang: **SILENCE! Mr. Bang-Bang might hear you!

**Blaine Anderson: ***shakes head in disbelief and facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***ignoring both hobbit 1 and 2* Britney, why are you asking me if you can eat me?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Because you're made of chocolate! I love chocolate!

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***shakes head in disbelief* Of course...

**David Thompson: **Where did you get that idea?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Mercedes said she was dating Dark Chocolate.

**Wes Yang: **I will never think of Dark Chocolate the same way ever again. Thanks a lot, David.

**Blaine Anderson **likes this

**David Thompson: ***ignoring both hobbits* I'm sorry Britney, but you can't eat me.

**Britney S. Pierce: **What about a bite? *insert pout*

**Wes Yang: **So many sexy things I want to say right now.

**David Thompson: ***ignoring horny Wes* only Tater Tots can bite me.

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**Britney S. Pierce: **Wait...there's a human Tater Tot too! Where? Where can I meet him?

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O David, you've got it bad for Mercedes.

**David Thompson: **Yeah, I miss my Tater Tots

**Wes Yang: **Again, I will never think of Dark Chocolate and Tater Tots in the same way again!

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**David Thompson **to **Wes Yang: **I'm breaking up with you!

**Blaine Anderson: **Since when we're you two a couple? Why didn't I know about this? When did you two come out! Answer me fellow hobbits!

**David Thompson: ***ignoring Blaine's accusations that I'm gay* Seriously! I'm breaking up with you, Wesley!

**Wes Yang: **What's the problem, sweetheart?

**Blaine Anderson: **Would someone answer my questions!

**Wes Yang: ***ignoring the hobbit* Seriously! David! What's the hell is your problem?

**Blaine Anderson: **Why is everyone keep ignoring me? You're both being super gay for ignoring me!

**David Thompson: ***ignoring the gayest one of all three of us* Wesley! You are the reason why Tater Tots broke up with me!

**Wes Yang: **Would you stop calling Mercedes, Tater Tots!

**David Thompson: **Never!

**Blaine Anderson: **First of all, the gayest one of all three of us is **Wes Yang**. Second of all, seriously David? Tater Tots! Come freaking on! Stop calling her that! I'm never going to eat Tater Tots again! I feel like I'm eating Mercedes!

**Wes Yang: **Hey! I'm not the gayest one! You are! Because you're gay! David and I aren't!

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* in denial *cough*

**David Thompson: **No one eats Tater Tots besides me!

**Blaine Anderson: **David, you're seriously crazy!

**Wes Yang: **I agree with hobbit!

**Blaine Anderson: ***rolls eyes*

**David Thompson: **Whatever! I miss my Tater Tots! Wesley! We are not friends anymore! I'm breaking up with you!

**David Thompson: **has just deleted **Wes Yang **as his friend

**Wes Yang: **WTF!

**Wes Yang:** Are seriously choosing a girl over your best friend! 

**David Thompson: **I'm in love with Tater Tots!

**Blaine Anderson: **Dude, you have a serious problem that needs help!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang: **is depressed because his best friend broke up with him.

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* Gay as the Fourth of July *cough*

**Wes Yang: **Shut up! Hobbit who has a girl crush on Katy Perry!

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O Hey! You are insulting Katy!

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* I'm seriously depressed.

**Santana Lopez: **can make you feel better. *wink wink* *licks her tongue hungrily and seductively*

**Blaine Anderson: **Eww... *makes face*

**Wes Yang: **O_O COME TO DALTON NOW!

**Santana Lopez: **is on her way to Dalton Academy to get her Mr. Bang-Bang on.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Seriously! Mr. Bang-Bang on?

**Sam Evans: **I'll be praying for you. *makes sign of the cross*

**Wes Yang: **What are you talking about?

**Sam Evans: **Oh...you will see...

**Wes Yang: ***raises an eyebrow*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Britney S. Pierce **changed her status from **in a relationship with Artie Abrams **to **single **

**Artie Abrams: **O_O

**Artie Abrams: **WTH? **Britney S. Pierce**, you're breaking up with me?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Yes

**Artie Abrams: **Did I do something wrong? Is it because I play Halo too much? I'm sorry if I did something wrong. I promise I won't do it again!

**Britney S. Pierce: **You didn't do anything wrong

**Artie Abrams: **...? Then why are you breaking up with me?

**Britney S. Pierce: **because everyone is breaking up with everyone. It's the latest trend!

**Artie Abrams: ***facepalm* you've got to be kidding me

**Artie Abrams: **Britney, you're seriously breaking up with me because everyone is breaking up?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Yes! Now I'm in the trend! Yehey! :)

**Artie Abrams: **I don't like the trend. :(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Artie Abrams: **Hates everyone who broke up! Screw all of you motherfuckers!

**Noah Puckerman: **Wow! I never thought you had it in you. Sorry dude. At least me and my Jewish Princess are still together! :)

**Artie Abrams: **:(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry: **is breaking up with **Noah Puckerman**

**Noah Puckerman: **What the Fucking Jewish Hell!

**Rachel Berry: **It has come to my attention that everyone is breaking up. I'd like to add drama to our relationship and join the break up trend.

**Noah Puckerman: **You've got be kidding me, right?

**Rachel Berry: **has just changed her status from **in a relationship with Noah Puckerman **to **single**

**Noah Puckerman: **You've got to be kidding me! 

**Noah Puckerman: **No one breaks up with the Puckersaurus

**Noah Puckerman: **...Rachel? ...Baby?

**Noah Puckerman: **Wanna make out?

**Noah Puckerman: **hates all motherfuckers and fatherfuckers who made the break up trend. You guys suck!

**Artie Abrams, Mike Chang, **and** David Thompson **likes this

************Facebook Addict************

**Quinn Fabray: **I'm breaking up with you, Finn

**Finn Hudson: **What the hell did I do this time?

**Quinn Fabray: **I'm sick and tired of nagging at you! My PM box is full because of you!

**Finn Hudson: **Do you actually think I'm not sick and tired of you nagging at me! My whole fucking self-esteem is dead because of you!

**Quinn Fabray: **Well then we should break up! We can't stop nagging each other!

**Finn Hudson: **You're the one who NAGS!

**Quinn Fabray: ***glares angrily at Finn*

**Finn Hudson: **We should definitely break up!

**Quinn Fabray **has changed her status from **in a relationship with Finn Hudson **to **single **

**Finn Hudson **has changed his status from **in a relationship with Quinn Fabray **to **single**

**Noah Puckerman: **What the hell is happening to the world! Why is everyone breaking up?

**Finn Hudson, Artie Abrams, **and **3 **others likes this

************Facebook Addict************

**Wes Yang: **has finally gotten what **Sam Evans **warned me about. Damn **Santana Lopez **is wild in bed!

**Sam Evans: **Told you...I can't move for days! I thought I was going to die because of too much sex!

**Wes Yang: **That's not bad!

**Santana Lopez: **:)

**Wes Yang: **I don't care if I can't move for days, weeks, months, years...I'm living the dreams of every sexually active boy!...except Kurt and Blaine... I love you **Santana Lopez**!

**Santana Lopez: **Love you too, other other Asian! Hey! I just found a position we haven't done yet! And it involves handcuffs and ice cream! *wink wink*

**Wes Yang: **is the luckiest bastard in the freaking world!

**Sam Evans: ***shakes his head from disbelief* Oversexed teenagers are going to hell.

**Wes Yang: **I don't care if I go to hell. Hell is worth it for this! Hallelujah baby!

**Santana Lopez **likes this

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

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**Artie Abrams: **has created a page called **The Lonely Hearts Club **

**Mike Chang, Kurt Hummel, **and **30 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Where the hell have you been Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel: **Watched A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel non-stop eight times every day throughout the whole week. Why do you think I haven't been on Facebook?

**Finn Hudson: **Why are you watching AVPM and AVPS?

**Kurt Hummel: **Three words. Darren Freaking Criss

**Finn Hudson: **Who's he?

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* I'm going to ignore your question because I don't want to kill you for your lack of knowledge about DARREN FREAKING CRISS!

**Finn Hudson: ***rolls his eyes from disbelief* Whatever bro

**Finn Hudson: **Why did you liked the page by the way?

**Kurt Hummel: ***cough* idiot brother *cough* don't you remember I'm single?

**Finn Hudson: **Oh yeah...sucks for you! :P

**Kurt Hummel: **Remember you're single too. Sucks for you too! :P

**Artie Abrams: **I'm so lonely... :(

**Kurt Hummel: **Join the freaking club!

**Noah Puckerman, Artie Abrams, **and **9**,**906,764,386,745 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **So many lonely people in the world... :(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **cannot believe that one week off Facebook and BOOM! You're so behind about everything. I cannot believe everyone broke up with everyone!

**Blaine Anderson: **I missed you. Everyone keeps ignoring me. Especially Hobbit 2 and 3.

**Kurt Hummel: **:) I will never ignore you, Blaine. You're my best friend!

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

**Kurt Hummel: **We're also lucky about one thing!

**Blaine Anderson: **What's that?

**Kurt Hummel: **We're not breaking up

**Blaine Anderson: **Never! We're best friend forever! ;)

**David Thompson: **Why can't you two just get together and save us from all from going insane of you two constantly flirting with each other!

**Blaine Anderson: **What are you talking about, Dark Chocolate?

**David Thompson: ***cough* one of the most clueless hobbit I've ever met. So clueless *cough*

**David Thompson: **Hey! No one calls me Dark Chocolate but Tater Tots!

**Blaine Anderson: ***shakes head from disbelief*

**Kurt Hummel: ***Supermegafoxyawesomehot facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: So if you read the title of this chapter and understood everything. The drama was all the break ups. Bet you guys never thought that Chapter Five will be about that. Still I hoped you liked the chapter and review!**

**Alright I'm guility. I'm bias. The only couple that didn't break up is my favorite. AKA Klaine. Sorry! :) But don't worry...drama in Klaineland will happen in *Spoiler Alert* Chapters Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten! *Spoiler Alert* **

**My favorite part: The Welainevid interaction, when Wes and David are "breaking up" and David keep calling Mercedes Tater Tots**

**My favorite quoter and quote: Blaine Anderson: "** First of all, the gayest one of all three of us is **Wes Yang**. Second of all, seriously David? Tater Tots! Come freaking on! Stop calling her that! I'm never going to eat Tater Tots again! I feel like I'm eating Mercedes!"

**BTW, I have a new Glee ship: Dark Tater Tots aka Mercevid! I hope all you are too!**

**Thanks again for all the reviews, alerts, readers, and love!**

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! Bye!**


	6. Lord Tubbington and Mr BangBang

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: I just realized that I kept spelling Brittany's name wrong. I'm sorry, please forgive me. **

**Since I love Mr. Bang-Bang so much, I decided to make a chapter about him. But you will never guess what happens in this chapter so I hope you guys will love it! **

**Also, a major death will occur. I'll let you all guess who it is.**

**And a lot of drama happens...**

**Also, thanks for the reviews and the alerts. This story has 120 alerts already and 6900 hits! I love you all so much!**

**Warning: Rated T/M for some swearing and use of bad language**

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Six:**

**Lord Tubbington and Mr. Bang-Bang**

**Brittany S. Pierce **has added Lord Tubbington as her friend

**Noah Puckerman: **Who in the Jewish hell is Lord Tubbington?

**Brittany S. Pierce: Lord Tubbington **is my cat!

**Noah Puckerman: **Who names a cat Lord Tubbington?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Me! :)

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: ***face freaking palm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***shakes head from disbelief*

**Blaine Anderson: ***joins Kurt in shaking his head from disbelief*

**Mercedes Jones: ***hits head with a container full of Tater Tots*

**Finn Hudson: ***hits head against the wall*

**Santana Lopez: ***shakes head from disbelief and facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: ***looks at the heavens and prays for help*

**Sam Evans: ***joins Quinn in praying for help*

**Sue Sylvester: ***shaves of Butt Chin's hair from disbelief*

**Will Schuester: ***shakes head from disbelief both Sue and Brittany*

**Lauren Zizes: ***grabs a man and throws him from disbelief*

**Kurt Hummel: **is sad for the man Lauren Zizes throws out of disbelief unless that man is **Wes Yang **which is very okay.

**Wes Yang: **^dis-so-freaking-like^

**Kurt Hummel: **No one cares! Gavel-obsessed hobbit!

**Blaine Anderson **and **344,636 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **The Warblers who liked that are going to taste the fury of Mr. Bang-Bang.

**Kurt Hummel: **unless that beloved Gavel of yours was "accidentally" flushed down the toilet *insert innocent face*

**Wes Yang: **...

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Wes Yang: ***gets plunger* Hold on baby! Daddy's coming! *runs to the bathroom*

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley seriously needs help.

**Kurt Hummel **and **1,537,897 **likes this

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel **to **Brittany S. Pierce: **I might be risking my sanity and everyone elses but I can't help but ask. Why does your cat have a Facebook page?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Who do you think taught me how to Facebook? Lord Tubbington did.

**Kurt Hummel: ***face freaking palm* Yup, I'm losing my sanity with **Brittany S. Pierce **

**Noah Puckerman **and **598,800,342 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **Please tell me she's kidding that her cat thought her how to Facebook.

**Santana Lopez **and **4,213,532 **otherslikes this

**Kurt Hummel: **I think she wasn't kidding. Britt never kids.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Lord Tubbington also taught me how to tie my shoes and French kissing.

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O *facepalm*

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O *facepalm*

**Santana Lopez: **O_O *shakes her head in disbelief*

**Kurt Hummel: **...

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh my God! I've kissed her! That means I kissed Lord Tubbington too! So freaking ewwww...

**Santana Lopez, Noah Puckerman, **and **10,973 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **10,975 people have kissed Brittany! WTH!

**Kurt Hummel: **She likes to maintain a perfect kissing record.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait a minute...Kurt, you kissed Brittany?

**David Thompson: **Do I suspect a little jealousy, Anderson?

**Kurt Hummel: ***glances at watch* well look at the time...I need to do my moisturizing routine. *runs as fast as possible*

**Blaine Anderson:**Kurt! It's only seven! You're not getting away this! *chases after Kurt*

**Santana Lopez: **Those two seriously needs to get together before we all lose our sanities from their sexual tension.

**David Thompson, Mercedes Jones, **and **78,432,752,657 **likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Wow! Brittany! Your cat is so smart! Can he teach me?

**Artie Abrams: ***facepalm*

**Mike Chang: ***facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***facepalm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Sure! Come by anytime, Finny!

**Rachel Berry: **Finn and Brittany should definitely be a couple!

**Lord Tubbington, Sam Evans, **and **232,423 **others likes this

**Artie Abrams: ***facepalm*

**Mike Chang: ***facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: **A cat has liked something on Facebook? A cat on Facebook? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Quinn Fabray **to **Artie Abrams: **Can you help me with our Chemistry homework? I can't get it.

**Artie Abrams: **O_O

**Quinn Fabray: **What's with the surprised eyes?

**Artie Abrams: **The Queen Bitch is actually talking to me? Has the world gone mad? Is this a miracle? *choir singing in the background*

**Quinn Fabray: ***rolls her eyes*Whatever! Wheels & glasses! I just need help...

**Artie Abrams: **Fine go to my house at 4:30, Queen Bitch...

**Quinn Fabray: ***cough* bastard on wheels *cough* Fine

**Artie Abrams: ***cough* Prom Queen Obsessed Wannabe *cough* Fine

**Quinn Fabray: ***cough* Nerd 4 life *cough* Fine

**Artie Abrams: ***cough* Stretch marks will never go away *cough* Fine

**Quinn Fabray: ***cough* Will never get laid no matter how much you paid a prostitute *cough*

**Artie Abrams: ***cough* Lucy Caboosey *cough*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Why is everyone coughing?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson **to **Brittany S. Pierce: **Can I come over right now? I want Lord Tubbington to teach me some Trigonometry.

**Kurt Hummel: **My brother is the only human I know who would want to be tutored by a cat rather than another fellow human. *face freaking palm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Sure, Finny. Come by now. Maybe Lord Tubbington can even teach you how to French kiss. :)

**Noah Puckerman: **Get some!

**Kurt Hummel: **Puck, even you would think that is so wrong. Great, now I can't stop imagining Lord Tubbington and Finn getting their Mr. Bang-Bang on, damn you Wesley.

**Noah Puckerman: **I can't help it. :p Besides, that would be hot.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

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**Wes Yang **to **Kurt Hummel: **I hate you so much! I hate you so much! I wish you and your obsession with Darren Criss to burn in fucking hell! You are a fucking gay bastard!

**Kurt Hummel: **Hey! Don't use the name of Darren Criss in vain! That is a mortal sin! Against the Ten Commandments of Supermegafoxyawesomeness!

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, what did Kurt do to get you so angry? Did he dyed your underwear pink again?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah! What did I do that you even added the innocent supermegafoxyawesomehot Darren Criss in your swearing!

**Wes Yang: **Mr. Bang-Bang...is...dead... :(

**Kurt Hummel: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***supermegafoxyawesomehot facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **You've got to be kidding me, Wesley.

**Kurt Hummel: **Wes, I think you're insane. No...wait...I do think you're insane since the day I met you but with your obsession with that gavel of yours is just making you more insane than ever.

**Wes Yang: **INSANE?

**Wes Yang: **You, **Kurt Hummel, **are INSANE!

**Wes Yang: **How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Mr. Bang-Bang? What did Mr. Bang-Bang did to you that would make you kill him. WHY DID YOU KILL SOMETHING SO INNOCENT! WHY!

**Kurt Hummel: **Are you sure you're seventeen? Because you're acting like a five year old who has a crazy obsession with some gavel.

**Wes Yang: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* Mr. Bang-Bang is not stupid! He is my friend. My playmate. My sexmate. My soulmate. My one true love.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm so hard that he got a migraine*

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, not only do I think you need to seek professional medical help but also I think you're probe by aliens because I honestly don't believe you're human. No human is as crazy as you.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I was once probe by aliens in a spaceship called Peanut Butter.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Okay...let me rephrase that. No human is as crazy as you and Brittany.

**Wes Yang: **You're just protecting Kurt because you're cluelessly in love with him.

**Kurt Hummel: **WESLEY!

**Blaine Anderson: **What the fuck are you talking about, Mr. I'm-so-obsessive-compulsively-in-love-with-my-gavel-that-makes-me-the-craziest-man-to-walk-the-face-of-this-world?

**Wes Yang: **Even if I hit you with Mr. Bang-Bang a thousand times, you will still remain as clueless as Justin Bieber is clueless of his sexuality.

**Kurt Hummel: **Fortunately, Mr. Bang-Bang is gone and we will never be hit by Mr. Bang-Bang again. Thank Grilled Cheesus! (Damn my idiotic brother) *choir singing in the background* Hallelujah!

**Wes Yang: **Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, do not forget this day. You will remember this day. The day you killed an innocent gavel. Mark my words, I will get my revenge for the sake of my beloved Mr. Bang-Bang.

**Wes Yang: ***insert the most evil laugh you'll ever hear* Muhahahahahahaha!

**Kurt Hummel: **In your dreams, gavel obsessed boy.

**Blaine Anderson: **Why are do I have friends who's a gavel-obsessed, a "Tater tots"-obsessed, and a Darren Criss-obsessed? What is wrong with me?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Quinn Fabray **changed her status from **single **to **in a relationship with Artie Abrams**

**Santana Lopez: **WTF? Did all hell freeze over or something? Wheels and Stretch marks are a couple!

**Quinn Fabray: **Our Chemistry study just...hit it off.

**Santana Lopez: **I'm detecting you guys didn't study Chemistry. Maybe the "chemistry" of your tongues together.

**Artie Abrams: **...

**Santana Lopez: **You guys got your "Chemistry" on.

**Quinn Fabray: **Butt out Santana! I like Artie.

**Santana Lopez: **I never saw this coming...

**Kurt Hummel **and **5,427,394 **others likes this

**Artie Abrams: **It's all thanks to Chemistry!

**Kurt Hummel: **I need to study Chemistry more...

************Facebook Addict************

**Wes Yang: **Everyone is invited to the funeral of my beloved, Mr. Bang-Bang tomorrow. This means all Warblers are mandatory to come and join me in mourning.

**Blaine Anderson: ***hits head on the wall numerous times* you are holding a funeral for a gavel? And torturing us Warblers to go? Are you kidding me?

**Wes Yang: **Yes, I'm holding a funeral for my beloved. No, I'm not torturing you Warblers. As Warbler president, I have the full right to ask you guys to come and join me in mourning. And I'm not kidding.

**Blaine Anderson: **Remind me again,how someone as insane as you are became the Warbler president? We're we high when we voted?

**Wes Yang: **I got your votes using Mr. Bang-Bang.

**Blaine Anderson: ***face freaking palm* Of course you did...

**Kurt Hummel: **Am I invited to this funeral?

**Wes Yang: ***bitch slaps Kurt* Are you fucking kidding me? You will not come near the funeral...ever! You will not come! YOU are the reason why there's a funeral in the first place.

**Kurt Hummel: **Awww...*snaps fingers in fake frustration* I was looking forward to come. *insert sarcasm*

**Wes Yang: **Well too bad for you, cock sucker! *stucks out tongue*

**Blaine Anderson: **is jealous that **Kurt Hummel** is not going to attend the funeral.

**Kurt Hummel: **Well...at least my plan won't be postponed.

**Blaine Anderson: **What's your plan?

**Kurt Hummel: **Watch Darren Criss's guitar covers of Disney songs on Youtube.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, don't you think you're obsessing over Darren a little too much? You kept singing Not Alone whenever we're together...you have a picture him on your IPhone and wallet...you have every single song of his on your IPOD...and you have posters of him all over your room.

**Kurt Hummel: **Says the man who has exactly the same things with Katy Perry.

**Blaine Anderson: **Katy Perry triumphs Darren Criss any day.

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday and bitch slaps Blaine* TAKE THAT BACK! Don't defy the name of Darren Criss!

**Blaine Anderson: **Make me, Hummel. I mean seriously..."Baby you're not alone. Cause you're here with me?" That has got to be the lamest line I've ever heard.

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday and bitch slaps Blaine again* Oh I will, Anderson. No, the lamest line in the world is "I wanna see your peacock". That is offensive to the straight and gay male race.

**Blaine Anderson: **No...the lamest line in the world is "I've been alone..." Seriously? All of us are alone at some point.

**Kurt Hummel: **No...stupidest and lamest line in the world is "We'll melt your popsicle." That is insult to all the popsicle factories and popsicles.

**Blaine Anderson: **You're not making sense! 

**Kurt Hummel: **You're the one who's not making sense!

**Wes Yang: **WOULD YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING ON MY WALL! AND JUST SLEEP WITH EACH OTHER!

**Kurt Hummel: **What the hell are you talking about?

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm with Kurt, what are you talking about?

**Wes Yang: **Why am I friends with two clueless hobbits?

**Blaine Anderson: **Well...why am I friends with a Darren Criss obsessed hobbit and too much Gavel Obsessed hobbit?

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you, Anderson. Just fuck you and you're love for Katy Perry.

**Blaine Anderson: **Again, you are not my type. And my love for Katy Perry will never perish.

**Kurt Hummel: **If you don't like me as your friend because I love Darren Criss, then we're not friends anymore.

**Blaine Anderson: **fine

**Kurt Hummel: **fine

**Blaine Anderson: **Fine

**Kurt Hummel: **Fine

**Blaine Anderson: **FINE

**Kurt Hummel: **FINE

**Blaine Anderson: **FINE!

**Kurt Hummel: **FINE! *walks out dramatically*

**Blaine Anderson: ***walks out more dramatically*

**Wes Yang: **This happens when two hobbits are cluelessly in love with each other. They start to fight about little things like what they are obsessed about. If you are gay or straight that's in love with someone and you know that someone loves you to. Just go for it. Save your friends the misery of watching the sexual tension of both of you. Save them their sanities. Just fuck each other.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Who are you talking to?

**Wes Yang: **I really miss Mr. Bang-Bang right now...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Brittany S. Pierce **has changed her status from **single **to **in a relationship with Finn Hudson**

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I love you, Finny!

**Finn Hudson: **I love you too, Brittie!

**Rachel Berry: **I'm not surprised that this happened.

**Santana Lopez **and **35,285,732,498 **others likes this

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang **is going to the event called **The Beloved Gavel's Funeral **

**David Thompson: **And you are the only one who's coming...

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, David! Besides, I thought we're not friends anymore.

**David Thompson: **We're still aren't. But that doesn't mean I'm not sorry for your lost. I know how much Mr. Bang-Bang meant to you, even though I hate that fucking gavel for giving me headaches every day. I'm very very sorry.

**Wes Yang: **Thank you, David. You're the only one who's sorry that I lost Mr. Bang-Bang.

**David Thompson: **You're welcome, Wesley. We're Wes and David remember?

**Wes Yang: **I thought we aren't friends anymore.

**David Thompson: **Oh right...

**Wes Yang: **I miss you, David. I miss our bromance. Can we be friends again?

**David Thompson: **...I'm sorry, Wes. But I'm still angry at myself and you because I lost Tater Tots

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*You are still calling her that.

**David Thompson: **I can't help it, Wesley. I'm really in love with her. And until we get together again, I can't be best friend with you.

**Wes Yang: **It's okay if you're not my best friend. I still have the clueless hobbits.

**David Thompson: **That sucks, dude.

**Wes Yang: **Yes I know. It's like a clueless love triangle.

**Wes Yang: **David?

**David Thompson: **Yeah?

**Wes Yang: **Even though, you're not my best friend anymore. Would you still come to the funeral?

**David Thompson: **:) I wouldn't miss it for the world.

**Wes Yang: **Thanks :)

**Blaine Anderson: **Am I the only one who notices this two proclaiming their love for each other but they can't be together?

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, most clueless hobbit I've ever met!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang: **Thank you, **David Thompson, Santana Lopez,**and **Blaine Anderson **for coming to my funeral. I love you guys and thanks for the support.

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm sorry that I didn't want to come in the first place because I think it's most stupidest thing in the world like Friday by Rebecca Black.

**Wes Yang: **Shit! That is the stupidest thing in the world. But thanks.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, I need to tell you something.

**Wes Yang: **Blaine, if you are going to tell me another fact about Katy Perry that I think only an obsessed hobbits knows, I'm seriously going to rip all your Katy Perry posters of the wall!

**Blaine Anderson: **It's not that!

**Wes Yang: **Okay...fine, what is it?

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt's not the reason Mr. Bang-Bang died.

**Wes Yang: **Yes, he is. He is the one who flushed him down the toilet.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, he did that but he immediately took it before it goes down the drain...

**Wes Yang:** ...

**Wes Yang: **...then who the hell killed my beloved gavel!

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm sorry...Wes...It was me.

**Wes Yang: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday*

**Blaine Anderson: **We just wanted to coat the gavel with toilet water but I wanted to cover it some more so that it would smell totally wrong and bizarre. That gavel sleeps next to you every night so that would be very funny. But I lost control and it went down the drain and clogged it.

**Wes Yang: **You!

**Wes Yang: **ARE!

**Wes Yang: **GOING!

**Wes Yang: **TO!

**Wes Yang: **PAY!

**Blaine Anderson: **I know, Wesley. I hope you forgive me someday.

**Wes Yang: **I will...after I get my revenge

**Blaine Anderson: **If that revenge involves Katy Perry, I'm going to flush you're head down the toilet.

**Wes Yang: **Damn it...

************Facebook Addicts************

**David Thompson **to **Blaine Anderson: **Anderson, PM now!

**Blaine Anderson: **Dark Chocolate wants to talk to me? Cool!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson: **

What's up, Dark Chocolate?

**David Thompson: **

Stop calling me that! I will cut you!

**Blaine Anderson: **

Words of Mercedes Jones right there...

**David Thompson: **

Stop reminding me of her or I'm going to cry!

**Blaine Anderson:**

*cough* Pathetic *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **

Seriously, David, what's up?

**David Thompson: **

What did you lied to Wes?

**Blaine Anderson: **

What are you talking about? I didn't lie to Wesley.

**David Thompson: **

Kurt is the real reason why that gavel was destroyed.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Yeah, I know. Kurt is the real reason.

**David Thompson:**

Then why did you told Wes that you're the real reason?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sighs* I didn't want Wes to hate Kurt. Kurt's new here and he should have a lot of friends who he could go to. Besides, it was Kurt and my idea.

**David Thompson: **

*raises an eyebrow* are you sure that's the only reason?

**Blaine Anderson:**

What do you mean?

**David Thompson: **

You two are fighting.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yeah, because he's so obsessed with Darren Criss. Darren Criss is not that hot anyway. He just has curlier hair than mine and better playing the guitar than me. He's nothing.

**David Thompson: **

Anderson, you are so jealous. My jealous gaydar is practically going haywire. You are jealous of Darren Criss.

**Blaine Anderson:**

No I'm not! I resent that accusation!

**David Thompson: **

You keep comparing Darren Criss to you! That shows so jealousy!

**Blaine Anderson: **

Why does he have better hair than me? Why can't my hair be like that? Why is better in playing the piano and guitar than me?

**David Thompson:**

You are definitely jealous. You're of jealous of Kurt being in love with another man.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Kurt is NOT in love with Darren Fucking Criss. He just obsessed with him.

**David Thompson:**

Dude, this just shows one thing...

**Blaine Anderson:**

What?

**David Thompson:**

You are in love with Kurt Hummel

**Blaine Anderson:**

That is preposterous. I'm not in love with my best friend. I can't be in love with my best friend. That is so wrong.

**David Thompson:**

Dude, you constantly telling me and Wesley that we're in love with each other. And we're best friends!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Because you two are gay in love with each other.

**David Thompson: **

Fuck you, Anderson. Fuck you!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Whatever, what's your point?

**David Thompson:**

Why do you think we call you clueless? Because we all know you love Kurt but you haven't realized it yet even though it's practically punching you in the face. Why do you think there are times you find Kurt just staring at you, you could see in his mind he's practically organizing you're wedding. Why do you think Kurt was a little distant to you when you were with Jeremiah happened? Even though he supported you all the way. Kurt is in love with you, you're in love with Kurt. Make gay babies together!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Okay, first of all, gay babies are both anatomically and biologically impossible to happen. Second of all, I think you're right. I think I'm falling for my best friend.

**David Thompson:**

Yes! Finally thank Grilled Cheesus! Damn...where did that came from?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Are you really that sure that Kurt's in love with me too?

**David Thompson:**

Fuck YES!

**Blaine Anderson:**

I don't know...

**David Thompson:**

For crying out loud, Anderson! Just fuck each other already!

**Blaine Anderson:**

I don't have proof myself that Kurt's in love with me.

**David Thompson:**

Where is Mr. Bang-Bang when you need him?

**Blaine Anderson:**

David, I'm serious. I don't have proof that Kurt really is in love with me. I don't want to make a move and risk our friendship. I don't want to screw our friendship. I don't want to lose him. But I'm already losing him because of my jealousy of Darren Criss.

**David Thompson:**

Then go get him and stop fighting about Criss and Perry.

**Blaine Anderson:**

But Katy Perry is better than Darren Criss any day!

**David Thompson:**

Sometimes I really do wander what the hell Kurt sees in you

**Blaine Anderson:**

My awesomeness?

**David Thompson:**

Impossible that's not it.

**Blaine Anderson:**

:(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow

**Noah Puckerman: **What the hell does that mean?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Lord Tubbington is asking you guys if you would be friend him on Facebook.

**Noah Puckerman: **You got that with just one "meow"?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Yeah, don't you speak Catanesse?

**Noah Puckerman: **Uh...no...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Well you should learn Catanesse. It's better than English...

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **You guys all should be friend Lord Tubbington

**Noah Puckerman: **I'm saying yes because I don't want to lose my sanity.

**Noah Puckerman, Finn Hudson, **and **453 **are now friends with **Lord Tubbington**

**Kurt Hummel: **Have all of you gone insane? Befriending a cat? Seriously?

**Noah Puckerman: **Dude, look at his profile picture. No one can say no with those eyes.

**Kurt Hummel: **What the hell are you talking about...

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh my...you're right. He is so cute. He's as cute as Darren Criss.

**Kurt Hummel **is now friends with **Lord Tubbington**

**Kurt Hummel: **Damn Darren Criss's supermegafoxyawesomeness!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Surprised? I'm sorry if I killed Mr. Bang-Bang but not to worry in the next chapter you won't hate me so much about it.**

**Also, I've got a lot of reviews begging for Klaine to happen. As much as I want it to happen, I like torturing people and showing Klaine cluelessness to one another. But now, the Klaine drama begins with the Criss vs. Perry fight. More of that on the next chapter. But at least some progress happened. Blaine finally realizes he is in love with Kurt...*thank Grilled Cheesus* but is not sure if Kurt is in love with him. *facepalm* **

**Also, if you guys are wondering why Kurt is so obsessed with Darren Criss is because he is substituting Darren Criss for Blaine. Also, in this story, Darren Criss is eighteen years old and is bisexual. You need to know that when this story reaches Chapter 13. *wink* *wink***

**Also, the suggestion of AVPM and AVPS will also happen but I'm taking things uber slow.**

**So, do you like Quartie (Quinn and Artie) or Pierceson (Brittany and Finn)? Please tell me who do you like more. The pair who has the largest votes would stay for awhile. **

**My favorite part: Dalaine PM part when Blaine finally realize his love for Kurt and Klaine fight about Darren Criss and Katy Perry.**

**My favorite quoter and quote: Wes Yang again: "Hold on baby! Daddy's coming!" I can totally see Wes doing that for Mr. Bang-Bang.**

**Tell me what's your favorite part or quote by reviewing!**

**BTW, let us all take a minute of silence, our thoughts all for Mr. Bang-Bang. He is surely will be missed. Also, all our love and comfort to Wesley. He needs it.**

**Mr. Bang-Bang**

**May 15, 2008 – May 25, 2011**

**BTW, please like my Mr. Bang-Bang page on the real Facebook. Just go and search: ****Wes Yang's Mr.****Bang-Bang****. I would post there a lot about Mr. Bang-Bang, Wesley, and the Glee gang. Please like it. I will love you forever if you do.**

**This is one major Author's Note but this is my last remark. The Klaine "I love you" has finally happened and fainted from total happiness and cuteness of Klaine. Klaine is endgame people! I love you Klaine!**

**Until the next chapter! All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!**


	7. Kurt vs Blaine, Mercevid, and Warblers

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: I wanted to try this so I hope you guys would like it. I wanted to feature some of the Warblers. I hope it's good. And Kurt and Blaine are fighting in this chapter with comedic results.**

**New characters: Trent Nicholson, Nick Connors, Jeff Jefferson, Thad Stevens, Jordan McClaine, and Aaron Houghston.**

**Short bio:**

**Nick Connors:**** Gay, hopelessly in love with Jeff Jefferson. Justin Bieber obsessed.**

**Jeff Jefferson:**** Secretly gay, likes Nick but not in love with him...yet... Loves FOOD**

**Thad Stevens:**** Bisexual. Disagrees with Wes all the time because he's in love with him but he doesn't realize it yet. Hates everyone who gets laid because he doesn't get laid.**

**Trent Nicholson:**** Gay, the Facebook gossip Kueen. Knows everything. Always teases Kurt and Blaine. Is in love with Nick Connors but no one knows.**

**Aaron Houghston:**** Sexuality not yet confirmed. The Warbler version of Brittany S. Pierce.**

**Jordan McClaine:** **Definitely straight. Always thinks of boobs and sex. Disgustingly funny. Troublemaker of the Warblers**

**So that's it. Enjoy the chapter! **

**Warning: Rated T/M for use of bad language**

**Theme: Drama and Comedy**

**Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to ****OTFj'OHpfj**** who is my 100th reviewer for this story! My first 100 reviewed story! I'm so freaking happy! Plus 10,000 hits! I love you all! **

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Seven: **

**Kurt vs. Blaine, Mercevid and the Warblers**

**Blaine Anderson **to **David Thompson: **David, because you "broke up" with Wesley I become you're new best best friend now and now, I have an obligation to tell you when I'm worried.

**David Thompson: **And you are worried about?

**Blaine Anderson: **You and Mercedes have broke up for a month now. And in one month, you managed to lose 40 pounds.

**David Thompson: **So?

**Blaine Anderson: **So, as much as I'm happy to finally get breakfast everyday instead of missing my breakfast because you already ate it. I can't be happy about it because you're not eating. David Thompson not eating is like Wesley not being in love with a freaking gavel, who is dead for two weeks now and yet Wesley is still mourning him.

**David Thompson: **I don't want to eat! I want my Tater Tots!

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* It's been a month and yet you still call her Tater Tots. Dude, when are you going to stop calling her that?

**David Thompson: **NEVER!

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* pathetic *cough*

**David Thompson: ***insert middle finger pointed at Blaine*

**Kurt Hummel: **Excuse me gentlemen, Blaine since when are you David's best best friend? What about me?

**Blaine Anderson: **David's my best friend now. Not someone like you who's a Katy Perry hater.

**David Thompson: **I thought you would stop the Criss vs. Perry argument?

**Blaine Anderson: **I will fight for Katy Perry to the death.

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* I only like Katy Perry because of her boobs and I only like Darren Criss because of his performance in AVPM and AVPS. I'm not going to side with anyone of you.

**Kurt Hummel: ***supermegafoxyawesomehot facepalm* for crying out loud, Blaine! We haven't talked for two weeks ever since that Criss vs. Perry argument of ours. Would you stop this stupidness?

**Blaine Anderson: **Never! Until you admit Katy is better than Darren!

**Kurt Hummel: **Over my dead perfectly moisturized body! Plus, you're a Darren Criss hater! You should admit that Darren is better than Katy! A Darren Criss hater is practically an Atheist!

**Blaine Anderson: **Over my perfectly hair-gelled hair! Who cares if I'm a Darren Criss hater? He sucks!

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch slaps Blaine* Thou shall not defy the name of Darren Criss in vain!

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps back* what is he a god?

**Kurt Hummel: **A supermegafoxyawesomehot god who I worship

**Blaine Anderson: **And you say I have a huge problem with Katy Perry. You have the same obsession twice as me with Darren Criss.

**Kurt Hummel: **We both are too obsessed with our obsessions. I always hear Katy Perry when I'm with you.

**Blaine Anderson: **As do I with you with Darren Criss. If I hear "I'm falling in love with Hermione Granger" one more time, I'm going to throw my Harry Potter dvd series at you.

**Kurt Hummel: **Well, if I hear "I kissed a girl and I liked it" again, I'm going to post on Facebook pictures of you wearing a blue wig and pretending that you're Katy Perry.

**Blaine Anderson: **You wouldn't dare.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh I would dare...peacock sucker!

**Blaine Anderson: **AVPM sucker!

**Kurt Hummel: **California Gurls sucker!

**Blaine Anderson: **AVPS sucker!

**Kurt Hummel: **Russell Brand sucker!

**Blaine Anderson: **Pink Glasses sucker!

**Kurt Hummel: **Extraterrestrial sucker!

**Blaine Anderson: **Leopold Bonar sucker!

**Kurt Hummel: **Teenage Dream sucker!

**Blaine Anderson: **Everett sucker!

**Kurt Hummel: **Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson sucker! 

**David Thompson: **WOULD YOU TWO JUST FUCK EACH OTHER ALREADY AND STOP FIGHTING ON MY FUCKING WALL ABOUT NONSENSE!

**Kurt Hummel: **Darren Criss is not nonsense! He is supermegafoxyawesomehot! 

**Blaine Anderson: **Katy Perry is not nonsense either! She's the Teenage Dream Queen!

**Blaine Anderson: ***glares at Kurt* This is not over, Hummel!

**Kurt Hummel: ***glares back* So not over, Anderson! *walks out dramatically*

**Blaine Anderson: ***walks out cartwheeling*

**David Thompson: **I'm all alone. I broke up with my best friend because of Tater Tots. And my only two best friends left, who should be helping me out of my depression, are fighting about nonsense instead of fucking the brains out of each other.

**David Thompson: **I should probably just join Mr. Bang-Bang in his grave.

**David Thompson: **My life sucks!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Santana Lopez: **has been slushied. **Via Iphone**

**Wes Yang: **What's slushied?

**Santana Lopez: **It's when someone throws a slushie on your face. By someone, I mean the President of Narnia, Dave Karofsky.

**Wes Yang: **Wait, that's the guy who bullied Kurt. He is a fucking bastard.

**Santana Lopez: **You just found out that now?

**Wes Yang: **Are you okay?

**Santana Lopez: ***looks at Wes annoyed* Do you think I'm okay? Of course I'm not, stupid! I was slushied and now I'm stuck inside the girl's restroom that smells like too much estrogen because I don't have extra clothes.

**Wes Yang: **You must be freezing to death.

**Santana Lopez: ***facepalm* Of course, I 'am dumbass.

**Santana Lopez: **Wesley?

**Santana Lopez: **Where are you?

**Santana Lopez: **Why'd you stop replying?

**Santana Lopez: **WTF! You just left me! Stupid other other Asian

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson: **I have new gossip! I heard from a little bird that B finally realized that he's in love with K. Finally!

**Thad Stevens: **Trent, that's old news. That little bird of yours, aka David, already told all of us.

**Jordan McClaine: **Thad! I didn't need to know that Trent has little "bird"

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* I wasn't talking about Trent's..."bird"

**Jordan McClaine: **It looks like you were.

**Thad Stevens: **I think you're the only one who thought of a disgusting thing with the phrase "little bird".

**Jordan McClaine: **Wanna bet?

**Thad Stevens: **Fine, I'll do your homework for a month.

**Jordan McClaine: **I'll take that bet.

**Jordan McClaine: **EVERYBODY! Like this if you thought when Thad wrote: "little bird", you thought of a disgusting thing.

**Noah Puckerman, Finn Hudson, **and **254,378,569,348 **likes this

**Thad Stevens: **Holy shit!

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert smirk* why do you think the population is so big. Why do you think porn sites are known? Because people love one thing and one thing only. Getting freaking laid.

**Thad Stevens: **Damn it, I didn't want to do a horny man's homework.

**Jordan McClaine: **A bet's a bet, Stevens. Yes! I'm not doing any homework for a month! Time to celebrate! I need to call Sweet and Candy...plus I need to go buy ten strips of condoms.

**Thad Stevens: **I did not need to know you're getting laid because of a bet. Now it's stuck in my mind. Thanks a lot, Jordan! *insert sarcasm*

**Jordan McClaine: **You're welcome, Stevens. Now off I go to get laid because of your "little bird". Time to work my big bird's magic on. See ya!

**Aaron Houghston: **David's a bird? Since when?

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm again* Aaron, the bird means someone who tells secrets. David's the one who told us that B and K are together.

**Aaron Houghston: **B and K? As in Burger King?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Burger King! Who's paying and I'm joining? I'm hungry for some fries and burgers in king form.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm again and shakes head* First of all, we are not going to Burger King...

**Jeff Jefferson: **That sucks man. You totally hurt my feelings. Thanks a lot. Lucky for me a have tub of chicken wings under my bed. Good bye, people who are not going to Burger King. *runs to the his dorm*

**Nick Connors: **Isn't Jeff dreamy? *sighs dreamily*

**Trent Nicholson: ***rolls his eyes because of jealousy* Jeff is as dreamy as Justin Bieber. That is disgusting.

**Nick Connors: **Um...Trent? Justin Bieber IS dreamy.

**Trent Nicholson: **Oh my God, you're a Justin Bieber fan?

**Nick Connors: ***glances at watch* well...look at the time...I need to...um...study...bye...

**Trent Nicholson: **I can't believe he's a Justin Bieber fan. It's like being a fan of a gay guy with a weird hair do.

**Blaine Anderson: **Like Darren Criss :)

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch slaps Blaine* Darren Criss is not gay, even though I hope he is.

**Blaine Anderson: **You have no proof. No man can have that hair and not be gay!

**Kurt Hummel:** He doesn't have a weird hair do. He's hair is flawless. All I want to do every day is to ruffle that perfect hair of his. *sigh*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm because of jealousy* He's hair looks like a cat puke a giant hair ball on it.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Dolphin! I promise Lord Tubbington didn't puke a hair ball on Hot Curly-Haired Potter's hair! He only does that to not hot people!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm because of Brittany's insanity and bitch slaps Blaine again* TAKE THAT BACK!

**Blaine Anderson: **Make me Hummel! Plus, STOP with the BITCH slaps! My virtual face is practically red from your slaps!

**Kurt Hummel: **TAKE THAT BACK! No one defies the hair of Darren Criss!

**Blaine Anderson: **NEVER!

**Kurt Hummel: **FUCK YOU! BLAINE ANDERSON! FUCK YOU!

**Blaine Anderson: **You wish...you're practically having sex fantasies of me.

**Kurt Hummel: **Lies! *cough* even though it's not *cough* *walks out dramatically*

**Trent Nicholson: **B, are you the last one to know that K is practically eye fucking you when we have Warbler's practice?

**Blaine Anderson: **What the hell is eye fucking? Eyes can't sleep with each other.

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*Eye fucking is when you use your eyes to undress someone you want to sleep with or you're love with. For instance, me with Nick.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait...you're eye fucking Nick?

**Trent Nicholson: **Uhh...got to go...bye...

**Blaine Anderson: **Why does everyone keep going away?

**Aaron Houghston: **Is anyone going to tell me what B and K mean?

**Blaine Anderson: ***face freaking palm* Got to go...bye...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Santana Lopez **to **Wes Yang: **I cannot believe you drove two hours from Dalton just to give me some clothes.

**Wes Yang: **No problem, Satan

**Santana Lopez: **Why do you even have spare girl clothes? Is hot clueless hobbit right? Are you really secretly gay?

**Wes Yang: ***rolls his eyes and curses gay best friend* I'm not GAY! Only Kurt and Blaine...David maybe... Besides, those are the clothes you left when you were using a whip to "punish" me and Blaine walked in on us and shouted so loud that the head master heard and you needed to leave fast before we get into trouble.

**Santana Lopez: **Oh...right...where are the whips?

**Wes Yang: **Still in my room. In case you need to "punish" me again. *wink* *wink*

**Santana Lopez: **Wesley, I don't usually say this because I'm a bitch.

**Wes Yang: **Yes, I truly believe you are a bitch, who is fucking amazing in bed. So being a bitch is not that bad.

**Santana Lopez: ***bows in flattery* I 'am a bitch and I don't usually say this but I didn't say it when you drove off...

**Wes Yang: **What do you want to say?

**Santana Lopez: **...Thank...you...

**Wes Yang: **...It's hard for you to say "thanks?"

**Santana Lopez: **Wesley, I'm a bitch. Bitches don't say "thank you"

**Wes Yang: ***raises an eyebrow* then why are you saying thanking me?

**Santana Lopez: **...because you're the only one who helped me. Surprising me actually. I never thought you would do something like that.

**Wes Yang: **You're surprised?

**Santana Lopez: **Well...you are the crazy friend of Kurt. Who he always says is gay for his best friend, aka Mercedes's ex. I just assumed...

**Wes Yang: ***curses one of the clueless hobbit twins* Santana, I'm better than just sex.

**Santana Lopez: **What do you mean, other other Asian?

**Wes Yang: **What I mean is that even though we sleep with each other and not actually in a relationship doesn't mean we aren't friends.

**Santana Lopez: **You want to be friends with someone from Lima Heights?

**Wes Yang: **I don't care where you live, Santana. I care about you.

**Santana Lopez: **But bad things happen in Lima Heights

**Wes Yang: **A lot of bad things happen...EVERYWHERE. You're not that bad. You're pretty cool girl.

**Santana Lopez: **:) No one has ever told me that.

**Wes Yang: **Well...those people are blind if all they can see is a sex-crazed girl. There's more to you than meets the eye.

**Santana Lopez: **Thanks...why are you not this smart when you're with hot hobbit and toothless smile hobbit?

**Wes Yang: **Their cluelessness rubs off on me that make me stupid.

**Santana Lopez: **When are those two going to get together?

**Wes Yang: **Well...they are the most clueless hobbits in the world...so I can say...the end of the world.

**Santana Lopez: **I bet they'll get together soon.

**Wes Yang: **Wanna bet?

**Santana Lopez: **Sure. If I win, you're the one who's going to buy the supplies when I "punish" you. If you win, I'm the one who's going to buy the supplies and I'll let you punish me.

**Wes Yang: **...I have a hard on by now.

**Thad Stevens: **Do everyone on Facebook need to know about bedroom businesses and horniness?

**Wes Yang: **Yes...yes you do need to know.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Mercedes Jones **to **Kurt Hummel: **White boy, I need fashion tips for my date.

**Kurt Hummel: **Date? Date with whom?

**Mercedes Jones: **The boy you thought was gay.

**Kurt Hummel: **...Wesley?

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you, Hummel!

**Mercedes Jones: **Nope

**Kurt Hummel: **...Finn?

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, I'm not GAY! I'm with Brittany!

**Kurt Hummel: ***cough* still a possibility *cough*

**Mercedes Jones: **Why would I date your brother? No...it's not him.

**Kurt Hummel:**...Puck?

**Noah Puckerman: **Do you want to get you hobbit ass kicked again?

**Kurt Hummel: **I thought we're friends and you're not going to kick my ass again.

**Noah Puckerman: **Why would you assume I'm gay? I'm the sex shark of McKinley!

**Kurt Hummel: **Two words: Fuck (Finn and Puck) bromance

**Noah Puckerman: **...you have a point. Finn and I do have an epic bromance.

**Mercedes Jones: **I already dated Puck; I'm not dating him twice. Plus, he's still in love with Rachel.

**Noah Puckerman: **No I'm not!

**Mercedes Jones: ***cough* in denial *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **...Artie?

**Quinn Fabray: **I'm going to kill you, Kurt. Artie is my man.

**Artie Abrams: **Tell him, sister.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh yeah...I forgot you guys happened...still surprised and never expected it.

**Mercedes Jones: **Come on think...who's hot that I can date?

**Kurt Hummel: **...Mike?

**Mercedes Jones: **Nope...still in love with Asian Babe

**Kurt Hummel: **...Mr. Schuester?

**Mercedes Jones: **Eww...white boy! Hell to the no!

**Will Schuester: **Mercedes, what is the problem with me?

**Mercedes Jones: **Four words...Butt Chin...and...Man Whore...

**Will Schuester: **:( Why are my kids mean in Facebook?

**Kurt Hummel: **...if you're going on a date with Darren Criss, I'm going to kill you and impersonate you.

**Mercedes Jones: ***facepalm because of her best friend's obsession* I'm not going on a date with your supermegafoxyawesomehot god. If I was going on a date with him, I would be in a coma because of total surprise and happiness.

**Kurt Hummel: **As long as you're not dating my man, I'm happy for you.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, you're too obsess with Darren Criss, it's not healthy.

**David Thompson: ***cough* also Blaine is so jealous of your love for Darren Criss *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: ***hits David with a container of Tater Tots* Fuck you, Dark Chocolate!

**David Thompson: **I told you to stop calling me that!

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* again, PATHETIC *cough*

**David Thompson: **Shut up! Jealous-and-still-stupid hobbit!

**Kurt Hummel: **Eureka! I've got it! Mercedes's date is Humungo-Mouth-o!

**Mercedes Jones: **Who in Grilled Cheesus's name is that?

**Blaine Anderson **and **4,373,285,894 **likes this

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Duh! Kurt's talking about **Sam Evans **

**Kurt Hummel: **:O

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh my Grilled Cheesus...she's right I 'am talking about Samuel.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Mercedes is going out with Trouty Mouth

**Sam Evans: **Why do you guys love insulting me especially my mouth so much?

**Santana Lopez: **Because you have the largest mouth we've ever seen in our lives. You're mouth is so huge, you can eat all of us.

**Brittany S. Pierce, Quinn Fabray, **and **257,452,474 **others likes this

**Sam Evans: **I really do need to get mouth reduction surgery.

**Santana Lopez: **Thank Grilled Cheesus...damn you Man boobs!

**Kurt Hummel **and **14,238,775 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you, Santana! Fuck you!

**Santana Lopez: **Already did and worst sex of my life.

**Finn Hudson: ***insert middle finger pointed at Santana*

**David Thompson: **Tater Tots, are you seriously going out on a date with someone who has nickname "Humungo-mouth-o"?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* for crying out loud, STOP calling her Tater Tots!

**David Thompson: **Shut up, Hummel

**Mercedes Jones: **Dark Chocolate, you have no say with anyone I date. You're my ex!

**Kurt Hummel: **And yet you still call him Dark Chocolate.

**Mercedes Jones: **Go away, white boy, I'll talk to you later.

**Kurt Hummel: **Well...I can see I'm not wanted. *walks out dramatically*

**Mercedes Jones: **Dark Chocolate, you need to get over me.

**David Thompson: **I can't get over you, Mercedes. I'm head over heels, crazy in love with you!

**Blaine Anderson: **FINALLY! He has stopped calling her Tater Tots!

**David Thompson: **Shut up, jealous hobbit

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert middle finger pointed at David*

**David Thompson: **Mercedes! I told you! I'm going to stop calling you my girl. But the only reason I do call you that because I love you. Because I don't want anyone getting you! Because I want you and only you! To be the only one to say 'I love you' to you! To be the only one to kiss you! To be the only one to hug you! To be only one who can say 'that's my girlfriend'! I'm still crazy about you even though we've broken up a month ago. I think I'll never get over you.

**Rachel Berry: **I think that's sweetest speech I've ever heard. I'm so jealous of you, Mercedes

**Quinn Fabray **and **58,453 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Thanks a lot, David. You're giving the other men a bad name.

**David Thompson: **Don't care, all I want is **Mercedes Jones**

**Mercedes Jones: **I just can't, David. I'm sorry. *runs out*

**Rachel Berry: **How could someone not fall in love with David with that speech?

**Rachel Berry: **David, would you like to go on a date with me?

**Tina Cohen-Chang **and **29,435 **otherslikes this

**Noah Puckerman: **Say yes to that, Dark Chocolate, and I will kill you

**David Thompson: **Kill me now, I don't care. Mercedes and I will never be together. What's there to live for?

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm so sorry man.

**David Thompson: **Yeah...my life sucks just like yours.

**Blaine Anderson: **Don't go there.

**David Thompson: **Four words, dude...jealous of Darren Criss

**Blaine Anderson: **I retract my sorry...you're an ass!

**David Thompson: **Don't care. I don't care about anymore without Mercedes

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson: **

I have new gossip! I hear D has proclaimed his love for M but M didn't want him so now D is all depressed in his room.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Trent, would you stop being a gossip? All the things you gossip about are things we already know!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Fine, K. I'll stop gossiping once you and B get together.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Fine, I'll tell Blaine I'm in love with him if you tell Nick you love him.

**Trent Nicholson: **

*looks like Garfield on a Monday*what the hell are you talking about? I'm not in love with Nick.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Only a person like Aaron or Brittany will not know that you're not in love with him. You have a framed picture of Nick under your pillow and you're desktop background is Nick's picture! If that's not love then you're stalking him.

**Trent Nicholson: **

How in the hell do you know that?

**Kurt Hummel: **

I don't. But from your reaction, I think I'm right.

**Trent Nicholson: **

Well you're not.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Look, I get you. We both have unrequited love. I get what you feel.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Idiot, it's not unrequited for you anymore.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What in the name of Grilled Cheesus are you talking about?

**Trent Nicholson:**

I heard from D that B has finally realized he's in love with you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're seriously believing David? A closeted gay who's obsessed with my girl best friend?

**Trent Nicholson:**

He's only gay for Wesley but I think he's really in love with that best friend of yours

**Kurt Hummel: **

Yeah, I believe him too. Still, Blaine's not in love with me. He would have told me.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Seriously? You know that Blaine's cluelessness will result of him not telling you he loves you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You may have a point. Still...Blaine needs to tell himself. Not you, not Tater Tots obsessed hobbit, not dead-gavel obsessed hobbit, not sex obsessed warbler, not food obsessed warbler, and especially not Justin Bieber obsessed warbler.

**Trent Nicholson: **

I still can't believe Nick is a fan of Justin Bieber. Is he insane?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yes, yes he is.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I think you need to make the first move. Blaine's not the type.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not the type either. If he wants me, COME and get me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Dude, I was turned on by what you just wrote.

**Trent Nicholson:**

WTH? Jordan? This is a Personal Message conversation. How in the world did you get in?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Easy, Nick obsessed hobbit, you added everyone of your friends in message sent to only box: Everyone in the Warblers can read your conversation.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm going to kill you, Trent, if you don't fix this. Blaine can't read this.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Also, Nick.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I can help if you two do me a favor.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I should have known...Jordan, you are in love with favors.

**Jordan McClaine:**

And sex, don't forget sex.

**Trent Nicholson:**

*rolls eyes* Fine, we'll do anything.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You both do my homework after Thad does them for two months.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine...but if Blaine read any of this, I'm going to kill you with Trent's dead head.

**Jordan McClaine: **

I'm severely turned on by what you said.

**Trent Nicholson:**

My head? Kurt, you really do have problems. I'm with Kurt. I'll do anything as long as Nick doesn't read this.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Good. I'll fix this in five minutes. Thank Hallelujah! I'm not doing my homework for three months! I should call Candy, Sweet, and Caramel. I'm going to have so much fun tonight!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm risking my sanity but who are Candy, Sweet, and Caramel?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Uhh...my friends...who are twenty-one year old...strippers

**Trent Nicholson:**

I did need to know that.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Well, now you do. So see ya!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I will never eat Candy, Sweets or Caramel the same away again.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Amen, brister. Amen.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What the hell is a brister?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Since we are gay. We are both biologically men but technically women. Brister is the combination of brother and sister. Because we're bristers.

**Kurt Hummel:**

So, you're my brister?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Of course, brister who shares unrequited love.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Amen, brister. Amen

***********Facebook Addicts************

**Jordan McClaine **has posted a video entitled: **This can make your Horny! **

**Thad Stevens: **Jordan, you have a very huge problem.

**Jordan McClaine: **The video can make your horny unless you're pedophile. David and his "Tater Tots" getting their tongues on in his dorm room. That is so hot.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Tater tots? Where?

**Thad Stevens: **Jordan wasn't talking about food, Jeff. He was talking about David's tater tots aka Mercedes.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Way to kill the buzz, Thad! Why do you always kill my food fantasies!

**Thad Stevens: **because you're addiction to food needs to seek help before we get eaten by you?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Whatever, I'm going to my room and eat the tub of ice cream hidden under my boxers.

**Thad Stevens: **Do you have all sort of food hidden around your dorm room?

**Jeff Jefferson: **You have no proof, Stevens! Good bye!

**Nick Connors: **Isn't Jeff dreamy? *sighs dreamily*

**Trent Nicholson: **No

**Nick Connors: **Well...he is...Food makes him more dreamier.

**Aaron Houghston: **Wrong grammar, Nick.

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Thad Stevens: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O ...Did Aaron actually correct something?

**Wes Yang: **Yeah, he did. Miracles do happen.

**David Thompson: **Jordan! I'm going to kill you!

**Jordan McClaine: **NOT YET! Candy is giving me a hand job right now.

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* Jordan, do we really need to know what you're doing right now?

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes! It's called Facebooking and getting a hand job!

**Trent Nicholson: **That's just disgusting.

**Jordan McClaine: **That's because you're not getting a hand job.

**Kurt Hummel: **Again, candy giving hand jobs is stuck into my head. Especially a hand made of red vines.

**Jordan McClaine: **I love Redvines. Sweet sugar Redvines, what can't they do?

**Kurt Hummel: **I know right?

**Blaine Anderson, Thad Stevens, **and **3,528,457,732,465,986,625 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Plus, Darren Criss loves them!

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm because of jealousy*

**Blaine Anderson: **Well...now I don't like Redvines

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay, Blaine. I've had enough of your hate for Darren. PM me now!

**Blaine Anderson: **Fine

**Wes Yang: **I'm betting $100 dollars that they're going to have cyber sex after their fight.

**Thad Stevens: **Why is everything I read on Facebook has something to do with SEX!

**Jordan McClaine: **Because sex is good all the time. All the time, sex is GOOD

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* I shouldn't have asked.

***********Facebook Addicts************

**Mercedes Jones **has changed her status from **single **to **in a relationship with David Thompson**

**Trent Nicholson: **Thank Grilled Cheesus...wait who the hell is Grilled Cheesus?

**Rachel Berry **and **375,498,756 **others likes this

**Nick Connors: **Finally! David would stop crying over his "Tater Tots"

**Jeff Jefferson: **Free Tater Tots? Where?

**Nick Connors: **The human Tater Tots, Jeff.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **So there is a human Tater Tots! I knew it!

**Nick Connors: **I don't know you but *facepalm because of the stranger's comment*

**Jeff Jefferson: **I don't like David getting back together with his ex.

**David Thompson: **BLASPHEMY! 

**Wes Yang: **Burn the none believer!

**Mercedes Jones: **Cut him!

**Trent Nicholson: **Feed him to the sharks!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Did you know dolphins are like gay sharks?

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: **Jeff, why don't you want David and Mercedes to get together? Aren't you tired of David being all depressed to the point he is the most pathetic man you've ever met?

**David Thompson: **Hey! *glaring at Thad*

**Jeff Jefferson: **Because David would steal food now. It sucks because he's my roommate.

**Thad Stevens: ***cough* too obsess with food *cough*

**David Thompson: **I don't need food now. All I need is Mercedes.

**Mercedes Jones: **I'm sorry, David. I just found it so hard for a boy to love me so much.

**David Thompson: **Well, believe me. I love you.

**Mercedes Jones: **I love you too

**Trent Nicholson: **Get a room

**Jordan McClaine: **Get some!

**Noah Puckerman: **Hey! That's my line!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **

What is your problem?

**Blaine Anderson:**

What's your problem?

**Kurt Hummel: **

Why are you so angry with my obsession?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Why are YOU so angry with MY obsession?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Would you stop repeating my questions and answer them!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Not until you answer mine.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Ugh! Blaine, since when did you became so frustrating!

**Blaine Anderson:**

I don't know...when did you became so frustrating!

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're not making any sense!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YOURE! Not making sense!

**Kurt Hummel:**

...I miss you...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wait...what? You angry a minute ago...now you miss me? Mood swings much?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Look, I don't want us fighting anymore. I want my best friend back. If that means cutting back a little of my obsession over Darren Criss then fine. You're friendship is more important to me anyway. So, I'm sorry.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Kurt...no...I'm...I'm the one who should be saying sorry. Don't stop obsessing over Darren. I was just a little...jealous...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Jealous? Of Darren? Why?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Because he's cuter than me. He's more talented than me. He's taller than me. He's funnier than me. He's supermegafoxyawesomehotter than me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're wrong, Blaine. You shouldn't be jealous.

**Blaine Anderson: **

And why is that, Kurt? I think all men are jealous of Darren Criss.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're better than Darren. You're very dapper. Very nice. Very helpful. So funny. And in my opinion... you are way cuter than Darren.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*blushing* you're just saying that to make me feel better.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm your best friend...or used to be your best friend. Everything I say to you is the truth.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...but you're in love with Darren.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah...but I love you more.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O

**Kurt Hummel:**

...uhh...what...what...I meat to say...is that...um...well...I love you more because you're my best friend and...um...Darren...is just my idol...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh

**Kurt Hummel:**

Besides, you love Katy Perry

**Blaine Anderson: **

Not as much as I love you

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O

**Blaine Anderson:**

...uhhhhhhh...I love you more because you're my best friend too and besides, Katy Perry is a girl. I'm attracted to men. I'm gay. I'm gay 100%. Gay as the Fourth of July.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh...

**Blaine Anderson:**

So...

**Kurt Hummel:**

So...

**Blaine Anderson:**

...are we friends again?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Do you want to be friends again?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I never want anything more than be your best friend, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Ditto! I miss you so much! *cyber hugs Blaine*

**Blaine Anderson:**

*cyber hugs back* not as much as I missed you *wink* *wink*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson: **I can't wait for Saturday movie night with my best friend in the entire world, **Kurt Hummel**

**Wes Yang: **Oh thank God! You guys are finally together.

**Blaine Anderson:** What do you mean?

**Wes Yang: **You said that you love him, right?

**Blaine Anderson: **Well...yeah...but...

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* you said you love him as your best friend, didn't you.

**Blaine Anderson: ***hangs head in shame* yes.

**Wes Yang: **Idiot! Where is Mr. Bang-Bang when you need him?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Okay, very long chapter but I made it long because I've finally reached 100 reviews! You guys are so awesome I love you all!**

**So, what do you think about the new Warblers I added? Who's you're favorite? Please tell me in the reviews. I personally like Jordan and Trent. They're crazy! **

**Klaine drama ends. But stupid Blaine did make a move but is a stupid move. I can't blame Wesley. Dark Tater Tots is back and since I ship that couple, I'm happy! The Darren Criss vs. Katy Perry debate thing was weird but I love those two...but don't tell Katy but I love Darren more. I can't help it...I'm a girl.**

**My Favorite Part: Kurt guessing who is Mercedes's date.**

**My Favorite quoter and quote: ****Jordan McClaine:**** "**Because sex is good all the time. All the time, sex is GOOD" I don't have a dirty mind...okay...maybe I do...but for me this is funny. **And ****Kurt Hummel:**"Thou shall not defy the name of Darren Criss in vain"

**Thanks also to the people who liked this story's facebook page, I love you all and I'll be writing your names in dedication in the next chapter. Please like the page: Just search ****Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang**

**Also, this is an amazing video that all Klainebows should watch:**

http: / www. youtube. com / watch?v=8w5Tor4lrYo

The song is called Kurt and Blaine said "I love you" it's also on the Wes Yang's facebook page I made. You need to watch. Or. Mr. Bang-Bang's risen soul will hit you.

**Thanks again for all the support and reviews that this is the best facebook style fanfic you've read. I'm very flattered and honored that I made you all smile or laugh with my insane writing. I will try and make this fan fic as long as possible. **

**Till the next update: All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!**


	8. Dominic Sayver and Lauren's Revenge

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Another chapter of Facebook done! Get ready for some drama, mayhem, and comedy to unfold!**

**Man, I sound like a commercial...Oh well...enjoy the chapter!**

**Warning: Rated T/M **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee but I do own this amazing fan fiction. Take that BITCHES! Voldemort so freaking out!**

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Eight: **

**Dominic Sayver and Lauren's revenge**

**David Thompson **to **Mercedes Jones: **I love you!

**Mercedes Jones: **I love you more!

**David Thompson: **You're wrong, I love you more!

**Mercedes Jones: **I love you more!

**David Thompson: **You're wrong, I love you more!

**Mercedes Jones: **I love you more!

**David Thompson: **You're wrong, I love you more!

**Mercedes Jones: **I love you more!

**David Thompson:** I love you more!

**Mercedes Jones: **I love you more!

**David Thompson:** I love you more!

**Wes Yang: **God, just kill me now. I'm so bored that I'm reading the two love bird's posts about their "love for each other". At least they're not calling each other Tater Tots and Dark Chocolate...

**David Thompson: **I will always love you, my Tater Tots

**Mercedes Jones: **And I will always love you, my sweet and delicious Dark Chocolate

**Wes Yang: **Kill me now! Or I'll be barfing rainbows till they get married.

**Britney S. Pierce: **I used to barf Lord Tubbington's hair balls

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* I think I'm going to be sick...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Lauren Zizes: **All the girls who are single needs to comment or post something in my wall now!

**Rachel Berry: **What do I owe the pleasure to be called upon by Ms. Zizes?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Why do you need the single ladies to comment?

**Santana Lopez: **What's up Extra Large to maximum level?

**Lauren Zizes: ***insert middle finger pointed at Santana* I need all the single ladies' help.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Are we going to perform Single Ladies? Because we need Kurt. He's the only one who could dance properly. And his hips...my God his hips...

**Rachel Berry: **I agree with Tina...Kurt's hips are to die for! Have you seen the way he moves them?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Makes you want to be a man and go gay for him.

**Santana Lopez: **Sometimes I just really want to rip his fashionable clothes, pin him on the wall and have my wicked way with him.

**Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, **and **997,435,453,779 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **I didn't know a lot of women want to sleep with my younger brother. My younger brother that's gay.

**Rachel Berry: **Finn, Kurt is four months older than you.

**Finn Hudson: **:( Don't remind me.

**Rachel Berry: **Plus have you seen his hips?

**Finn Hudson: **Brothers don't check out brother's hips

**Santana Lopez: **Well you should...because you can go gay for him...

**Finn Hudson: **Eww...I'm not going to fall for my own brother. All of you are gross...I'm leaving. Gross!

**Lauren Zizes: **Would you all stop talking about how hot Kurt's hips are?

**Santana Lopez: **But you have to admit even you are attracted to his hips...

**Lauren Zizes: **No woman can't be attracted to his hips. They are God-like hips

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Amen fat sister!

**Lauren Zizes: ***insert middle finger pointed at Asian Babe*Now let's get down to business. First of all, we are not going to perform Single Ladies...

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Darn it! I was really looking forward to seeing Kurt in a unitard!

**Rachel Berry **and **31,759,329,642 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **I was just looking forward seeing him sweat...that would make him ten times hotter!

**Tina Cohen-Chang **and **95,273,486,542 **others likes this

**Lauren Zizes: **WOULD YOU GUYS STOP TALKING ABOUT KURT?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Sorry...first I was obsessing Mike's abs...now...Kurt's hips...What's next?

**Rachel Berry: **If you obsess about Puck's biceps, I will cut you!

**Santana Lopez: **Looks like Man hands is still not over the Sex Shark.

**Rachel Berry: **Screw you, Satan.I'm so over him!

**Santana Lopez: **Clearly, in denial

**Rachel Berry: **No I'm not! Fuck off!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Yes you are Rachel. You're clearly in love with Puckerman.

**Lauren Zizes: **Would all of you stop talking about both our ex?

**Santana Lopez:** FYI He's my ex too.

**Lauren Zizes: **Just stop talking about Puckerman!

**Santana Lopez: ***crosses arms* Fine...

**Lauren Zizes: **Okay ladies...we need to take revenge to the ND men...now let's get down to business...

**Santana Lopez: **If we're going to have a foursome, I'm not in it. I'm not sleeping with Man hands.

**Lauren Zizes: ***facepalm, shakes head, and rolls her eyes* Worst henchmen in the world.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Correction, henchwomen

**Lauren Zizes: ***facepalm* worst henchwomen in the world.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang: **I cannot believe Kurt has talked me into having a Warblers' meeting via Facebook. But since all of you right now are facebooking with your phones. I guess he's sort of right. Besides, I can't get anyone's attention because of Mr. Bang-Bang's...absence.

**Kurt Hummel: **He's gone, Wesley. Deal with it.

**Wes Yang: **SILENCE! He's spirit might hear you!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: **Wesley, just start the meeting.

**Wes Yang: **Fine, I call this Facebook meeting of the Warblers to order. *bangs Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit twice*

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh for crying out loud, Wesley! Stop it with Mr. Bang-Bang!

**Wes Yang: **SILENCIO!

**David Thompson: **Just let him be insane with his dead gavel. Leave him be.

**Wes Yang: **Thank you, David. Hey wait a minute...you insulted me!

**David Thompson: ***rolls eyes* shut up, Wes!Just tell us what happened at the last Warblers' meeting.

**Wes Yang: **Fine...first thing we've done in our previous meeting is talk about what we done in our previous meeting...

**Nick Connors: ***facepalm*

**Wes Yang: **Next we watched David and Jeff fight over a very big Hershey bar...

**Jeff Jefferson: **I love that Hershey bar

**David Thompson: **It was MY Hershey bar and you took it from me!

**Jeff Jefferson: **You never should have shown it to me!

**David Thompson: **So it's my fault that you would rather kill me than not eat my chocolate bar?

**Jeff Jefferson: **...Yes!

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: **Would you two stop fighting about the chocolate bar you already fought about?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Well it's Wes's fault for reminding me about that chocolate bar. Now I'm hungry for some chocolate.

**David Thompson: ***insert sarcasm* it surprises us that you're hungry.

**Nick Nicholson: **Isn't Jeff dreamy? *sighs dreamily*

**Trent Nicholson: **...no...

**Wes Yang: **Next thing that happened was Thad and Jordan, fighting about Jordan's "nights"

**Thad Stevens: **And by nights, you mean noisy nights were I can't fall asleep because Jordan's humping how many girls on the other side of the room.

**Jordan McClaine: **You are just jealous. Jealous that I have a better sex life than you.

**Thad Stevens: **Let me remind you, Jordan, again. Not everyone needs sex to live.

**Jordan McClaine: **Well, you're wrong...so wrong...everyone needs sex.

**Thad Stevens: **No I'm not. I'm right.

**Jordan McClaine: **You need to get laid, my man.

**David Thompson: **Okay, would you guys stop fighting over getting laid and let Wes proceed.

**Thad Stevens: **Sorry, Wes, proceed.

**Wes Yang: **Next we talked about our performance at the commons...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Our acapella version of "Fireflies" wasn't that amazing unlike "Teenage Dream"

**Blaine Anderson: **That's because we didn't sang a Katy Perry song. I told you guys we should sang "Last Friday Night"

**Trent Nicholson: **Dude, you're obsession with Katy Perry is showing again.

**Nick Connors: **Plus, if we hear you sing another Katy Perry song, we might kill you and make it look like an accident.

**Blaine Anderson: **Why are you guys so mean about Katy Perry?

**Jordan McClaine: **We are not mean about Katy Perry. We are just mean because we are sick and tired of you being so obsess with her. I just like her because of her big boobs.

**Blaine Anderson: **:(

**Aaron Houghston: **Jordan speaks the truth, man.

**Kurt Hummel: **You guys, stop making Blaine feel so bad. He already is going to a therapist about it.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt...I'm not seeing a therapist...

**Kurt Hummel: **Well...you should...

**Blaine Anderson: **:(

**Wes Yang: **and throughout the meeting. The room was yet again filled by the stench of Kurt and Blaine's sexual tension and also we again watch them eye fuck each other. It's like soft gay porn.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **Dude, we weren't eye fucking each other.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, and sexual tension? Seriously?

**David Thompson: **Don't you two dare lie about your sexual tension and eye sex.

**Kurt Hummel: **Shut up, David. Or I'll cut you.

**David Thompson: **My girlfriend will cut you first before you do.

**Kurt Hummel: **No matter how much Mercedes loves you. She loves me more.

**David Thompson: **LIAR!

**Kurt Hummel: **Ask her. I'm Mercedes's soul mate.

**David Thompson: **You're wrong.

**Kurt Hummel: **A Hummel is never wrong.

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm emphasizing that we weren't having eye sex.

**Wes Yang: **Puhlease...even a blind man can see you two having eye sex.

**Aaron Houghston: **How can a blind man see? He's blind.

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: **Can we please stop talking about Kurt and Blaine's eye sexing each other?

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***supermegafoxyawesomehot facepalm*

**Wes Yang: **Alright...well let's talk about this meeting. We need to prepare for Regionals...

**Kurt Hummel: **Wesley, can we talk about something else besides Regionals?

**Wes Yang: **And what do you propose we talk about? If you propose to talk about Darren Criss, I 'am going to kill and throw you and your Darren Criss posters into the Atlantic Ocean!

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes* Dare take my Darren Criss posters and I will hit you with Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit! Actually I need to ask you guys a favor...

**Jeff Jefferson: ***insert horrified look*Oh no!

**Thad Stevens and 14 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **What's the problem? Did David steal your food again?

**Trent Nicholson: **This is going to be just like the Warblers' Gap Attack? I 'am not going to sing another sex song to a random guy!

**Wes Yang **and **13 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, who's the other guy? How come I don't know about this?

**David Thompson: ***cough* jealous hobbit *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, David!

**Kurt Hummel: **He's not just a random guy. He's a friend of mine. And he needs help.

**Wes Yang: **Are you in love with the guy?

**Kurt Hummel: **Err...I...um...love him in different way...

**Blaine Anderson: **in what way?

**Kurt Hummel: **Just...in a way...

**Wes Yang: **Kurt, I think the Warblers had enough of humiliating themselves in public places. We have Blaine to thank for that.

**Blaine Anderson: **Why are you guys being so mean with me?

**Trent Nicholson: **We're not...just two words...SEX SONG...

**Blaine Anderson: **A man makes a mistake in choosing a sex song and everyone will hold him against it forever.

**Nick Connors: **Dude, you got us banned to how many Gap stores! I love shopping at the Gap!

**Blaine Anderson: **So did I...but I did get boyfriend out of it...

**David Thompson: **Blaine, you're single now. :P So much for getting something...

**Blaine Anderson: ***thumps David with the soul of Mr. Bang-Bang*

**Wes Yang: **Even you, Blaine, have to admit that you miss Mr. Bang-Bang...

**Blaine Anderson: **I miss using him to hit all of you when you're being so mean to me

**Wes Yang: **So do I. I love hitting you guys.

**Kurt Hummel: **Um...guys? Can we get back to the subject? Can we help my friend? I really want to do this for him.

**Thad Stevens: **Why?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, why?

**David Thompson: ***cough* jealous hobbit *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **He means so much to me. At least this is my way to show I care so much about him.

**Wes Yang: **Is he going to pay us?

**Jordan McClaine: **Since when are we getting paid? We sing for free!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yeah, if we're getting paid then where is my share? I can use that to buy a platter of turkey wings.

**Jordan McClaine: **and I can buy more packs of condoms and blue pills...

**Thad Stevens: **I can buy ear plugs so that I could sleep at night...

**David Thompson: **And I can buy flowers for my Tater Tots!

**Nick Connors: **And I can buy a new Justin Bieber t-shirt! :)

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* and I can get a recorder so I could record certain conversations that could go to my blog!

**Blaine Anderson: **and I could buy tickets for Katy Perry's concerts!

**Wes Yang: **As much as I hate to tell you guys this, if we were to be paid for our performance...that's going to the club budget.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Way to kill the buzz, Wes! I wish Mr. Bang-Bang would hit you right now!

**Wes Yang: **Yeah...I miss Mr. Bang-Bang too...

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* warblers, please do this for me! I promise I'll treat you to Dairy Queen if you do this!

**Jeff Jefferson: **I'm in! Free ice cream here I come baby!

**Nick Connors: **I'm in because Jeff's in!

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm because of jealousy* I'm in because Kurt's my brister!

**Thad Stevens: **I have nothing better to do anyway. So, I'm in.

**Jordan McClaine: **Unless we sing during night, I'm out. I'm..."busy"...at night. But if it's not night time...I'm so freaking in!

**Aaron Houghston: **I'm in because everybody's in.

**David Thompson: **Since Kurt is my true love's best friend and NOT soul mate...I'm in...

**Wes Yang: **Well...since everyone is in...I'm in. It's settled. *bangs Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit*

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm because of Wes's love for his dead gavel* wait a minute guys...Blaine didn't say he's in.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, are you in?

**Blaine Anderson: **...why is he so important to you?

**David Thompson: ***cough* very jealous hobbit *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **Because...he's my friend. Blaine, I supported you with Jeremiah...you should support me with Dominic too.

**Blaine Anderson: **...*sighs* Fine...I'm in.

**Kurt Hummel: **Good! I'll talk about it more at tomorrow's meeting. Thanks so much you guys!

**Wes Yang: **You're welcome, Kurt. Meeting adjourned. *bangs Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit*

**Jordan McClaine: **Wes! Give up Mr. Bang-Bang already. He's dead and yet he still torture us in some bizarre way!

**Wes Yang: **NEVER! Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit will always live on!

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Via Cell Phones at Glee Club classroom **

**Noah Puckerman: **What the hell, single ladies!

**Finn Hudson and 6 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Why the hell did you threw fresh fish on us?

**Artie Abrams: **And seaweed?

**Mike Chang: **and crabs?

**Sam Evans: **and...chapsticks...are you guys insulting me again?

**Lauren Zizes: **There weren't any crab sticks so we thought chapsticks are better.

**Sam Evans: **:(

**Lauren Zizes: **It's my revenge to you, Puckerman. And all the men who broke the single ladies' hearts.

**Noah Puckerman: **You're revenge is to throw various sea creatures on us?

**Lauren Zizes: **Yes

**Rachel Berry: **Take that bastards! *points middle finger at all of them*

**Santana Lopez: **Kiss my ass!

**Noah Puckerman: **Already did!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Take that motherfuckers!

**Noah Puckerman: **Also did! I love sleeping with your mothers! 

**Rachel Berry: **This does not surprise me, Noah. You sleeping around like you don't matter.

**Noah Puckerman: **I don't matter anymore...not without you, Rachel...

**Rachel Berry: **What are you talking about?

**Noah Puckerman: **Even though, I have sex with everything that moves...

**Santana Lopez: **He's not lying. He had sex with a mannequin...

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **He also had sex with a shrub shaped like a girl...

**Lauren Zizes: **He also had sex with my refrigerator...

**Quinn Fabray: **He also had sex with me...remember I carried his child...

**Artie Abrams: **He also had sex with my wheelchair...

**Mercedes Jones: **He also humped my dear sweet Tater Tots...

**Finn Hudson: **He humped my Xbox...

**Mike Chang: **and my abs...

**Britney S. Pierce: **He and Lord Tubbington did the nasty-nasty! :)

**Rachel Berry: **You slept with a cat!

**Noah Puckerman: **I can't help it! He's eyes are too damn adorable!

**Lord Tubbington and 35,287,432,432 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **You had sex with everything except me!

**Santana Lopez: **Wait...I thought you guys already did the deed?

**Noah Puckerman: **Rachel fell asleep...

**Santana Lopez: ***facepalm* idiot...no wonder you're a virgin...

**Rachel Berry: **Fuck off! Satan!

**Santana Lopez: **You know what I will...bye non-virgins except Man hands!

**Rachel Berry: ***insert middle finger pointed at Satan*

**Noah Puckerman: **Rachel...just because I sleep with everything...doesn't mean they mean anything to me...because you mean more to me than anything in the Jewish world. I love you. Yeah, I said it. I didn't love Lauren or Santana like I do to you...

**Lauren Zizes: **I didn't love you too...I just like sleeping with you...

**Noah Puckerman: **I still have no idea how I was attracted to you...

**Artie Abrams: **All of us have no idea...

**Finn Hudson, Tina Cohen-Chang, **and **246,357,892 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **I love you, Rachel Berry. I love everything about you. I love you're annoyance. I love you're diva attitude. I love your voice. I love you're Jewish love. I love you even if we never have sex. I can't breathe without you! I can't eat without you. I can't sleep without you. I can't get a fucking boner without you! Because I need you in my life! I love you so much, Rachel Berry!

**Noah Puckerman: **Rachel Anne Berry, I Jewishly and forever Jew love you!

**Rachel Berry: **O_O ...Oh...my...God...

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Looks like David's speech is beaten...because Puck's speech so kicks ass.

**Mercedes Jones: **I second that, Tina. Damn why can't David's speech be better?

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm* great dude, you ruined all men again. Thanks a lot!

**Artie Abrams **and **57,345 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **I can't believe you love me so much, Noah.

**Noah Puckerman: **Well believe it...I love you, Rachel...

**Rachel Berry: ***runs to Noah and kisses the life out of him* I love you!

**Noah Puckerman: ***kisses back with more passion* I love you too!

**Mercedes Jones: **Awww...

**Quinn Fabray **and **32,564,267 **others likes this

**Artie Abrams: **Hold up, motherfuckers...How the hell are they typing while making out?

**Mercedes Jones: **Plus, why are we all on Facebook if we're in the same classroom.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Because Facebook is awesome!

**Artie Abrams: **True that!

**Mercedes Jones, Mike Chang, **and **92,452,563,767,439 **others likes this

************Facebook Addicts************

**Tina Cohen-Chang **to **Mike Chang: **I miss you, Mike. And you're hot Asian abs!

**Mike Chang: **I miss you, Asian babe! And you're brown Asian eyes!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I still love you!

**Mike Chang: **I love you too. I promise my parents won't be coming with us when we go to our Asian dates.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **:) Asian cyber kiss?

**Mike Chang: **Asian cyber kiss

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***Asian cyber kisses Mike*

**Mike Chang: ***Asian cyber kisses Asian Babe*

**Britney S. Pierce: **Yehey Asian babies! :)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver:**

So, are we still on tomorrow night?

**Kurt Hummel: **

Of course! BreadstiX is the best restaurant in Ohio. My friends and I always eat there.

**Dominic Sayver: **

Cool! See you then Little Kurtie! :)

**Kurt Hummel: **

How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?

**Dominic Sayver: **

I can't help it, Little Kurtie, I love calling you that.

**Kurt Hummel: **

*facepalm* you're insane!

**Dominic Sayver: **

And that's why you love me and you're helping me!

**Kurt Hummel: **

You're lucky I love you. I don't usually speak up during Warbler meetings.

**Dominic Sayver:**

But you guys are good right?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Well...they do have me...so we are definitely good...

**Dominic Sayver:**

I so believe you. And you're singing is A-MA-ZI-ING! I'm so jealous of your voice.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Well...we need to practice for that song you want us to sing with you.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Wait, I thought we're going to practice this Saturday.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Oh...I forgot...Blaine and I are going to have a marathon of Harry Potter...again...

**Dominic Sayver:**

Can't you skip it? Please with low fat ice cream, cherries, and Darren Criss on top!

**Kurt Hummel:**

You had me at Darren Criss. Fine, I'll talk to him. But if you're plan doesn't work I will cut you and the Warblers will cut me.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Don't worry! Music can solve anything!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Indeed it does. Night Dom! See you tomorrow!

**Dominic Sayver:**

Night Little Kurtie! See you tomorrow and have sweet little dreams!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Mercedes Jones **to **Kurt Hummel: **Can we go shopping tomorrow night? I seriously need a shopping trip or else I might kill David.

**David Thompson: **Hey!

**Mercedes Jones: **Sorry, Dark Chocolate. It's just that you don't like shopping...Kurt does.

**David Thompson: **Kurt wasn't lying. He is your soul mate. Not me. :(

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes, yes I 'am. :P

**Mercedes Jones: **White boy!

**Kurt Hummel: **Sorry...

**Mercedes Jones: **David, Kurt is my best friend in the entire world and he is my best friend soul mate. David, you are my one and only soul mate. The man I truly love.

**Kurt Hummel: **So sweet.

**David Thompson: **Can a person really have two soul mates?

**Mercedes Jones: **Yeah, if you believe they are your soul mates.

**David Thompson: **...I'm sorry I was jealous of Kurt being your soul mate.

**Mercedes Jones: **It's okay. Kurt, stop torturing my crazy boyfriend...

**David Thompson: **Hey!

**Mercedes Jones: **...that I love...you're not letting me finish, Chocolate.

**Kurt Hummel: **Can't help torture him. It's fun.

**Mercedes Jones: **IKR?

**David Thompson: **Hey!

**Mercedes Jones: **Anyway, Kurt, can we go shopping tomorrow?

**Kurt Hummel: **Sorry Cedes, I can't. I'm going to dinner at BreadstiX with Dominic tomorrow.

**Mercedes Jones: **Who's Dominic?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, who's Dominic?

**David Thompson: ***cough* the jealous hobbit pops up out of the blue because of his jealousy*cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, David!

**Kurt Hummel: **A friend of mine...

**Mercedes Jones: **How come I haven't met him nor have I heard anything about him?

**Kurt Hummel: **You are busy with that crazy hot Dark Chocolate of yours

**Mercedes Jones: **Puhlease...Kurt, I will totally ditch David for you.

**David Thompson: **HEY!

**Blaine Anderson: **And you say, I'm the jealous one. :)

**David Thompson: **Shut up! Jealous hobbit!

**Mercedes Jones: **Kurt, who's Dominic?

**Kurt Hummel: **Just...a friend of mine, Mercedes. Don't worry. He's nice. He's friendly. He will never hurt me. He's a good person.

**Mercedes Jones: **When can I meet him?

**Kurt Hummel: **Uh...I don't know...

**Mercedes Jones: **What do you mean "I don't know"? I met all your Warbler friends.

**Kurt Hummel: **Dominic is different.

**Blaine Anderson: **How is this "Dominic" different from me?

**David Thompson: ***cough* supermegafoxyawesomehot jealous hobbit *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **He is just is. Geez! Would you guys stop asking me about Dominic?

**Blaine Anderson: **What if he's another David Karofsky? He might hurt you, Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel: **He's not the President of Narnia, Blaine. Also, he's not a homophobe!

**Blaine Anderson: **Is he gay?

**Kurt Hummel: **That is none of your business. I'm leaving. *walks out dramatically*

**David Thompson: **Anderson, you are very jealous!

**Blaine Anderson: **I 'am not!

**Mercedes Jones: **You are so!

**Wes Yang: **Yeah, you've always been the jealous type...

**David Thompson: **Remember when Kurt was crushing on Daniel Radcliffe...

**Wes Yang: **And Neil Patrick Harris...

**David Thompson: **And Leonardo Di Caprio...

**Wes Yang: **And who could ever forget Blaine's mortal enemy, Darren Freaking Criss...

**Mercedes Jones: **Yup, those are all Kurt's used to be crushes. Except Darren Criss. Kurt will always love Darren Criss. Can't blame him actually. He is so freaking hot!

**David Thompson: **HEY!

**Mercedes Jones: **Admit it, David. If you were gay, you would totally have a crush with Darren Criss!

**David Thompson: **...it's a possibility...

**Blaine Anderson: **I always knew you would go gay at some point...

**David Thompson: ***middle finger pointed at Blaine* whatever, the point is, Kurt's got himself a new boyfriend! :P

**Wes Yang: **and it's your fault because you told him you love him...as a friend!

**Blaine Anderson: **Fuck you both!

**Wes Yang: **I thought I wasn't your type?

**Blaine Anderson: **Still not my type! I would rather fuck a girl than fuck you!

**Wes Yang: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* BLASPHEMY!

**Mercedes Jones: **Guys! Would you stop fighting? I have a plan...

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't like the sound of this...

**David Thompson: **Are you kidding me? My Tater Tots formulating a crazy plan? This alone shows we're meant for each other!

**Wes Yang: **I second David. Girls who formulate crazy plans are hot!

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*I need to find better friends...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson: **I can't believe we are spying on Kurt's date!

**David Thompson: **Shut up! You want to spy on this date so badly! You want to know if this guy is hotter than you or taller than you or anything better than you. You're jealousy made you come with us.

**Blaine Anderson: **Fuck you, David, fuck you!

**David Thompson: **Already taken, dude. Thanks for the offer though!

**Blaine Anderson: ***rolls his eyes*

**Wes Yang: **Why are we on Facebook talking instead of talking in person since we're next to each other?

**Mercedes Jones: **Because Kurt and his date might hear us

**Blaine Anderson: **We are behind their booth of course they'll hear us.

**Mercedes Jones: **This is why we are talking on Facebook.

**David Thompson: **Kurt's friend looks way older than him.

**Wes Yang: **David's right. He looks about 25 to 27. Don't you think that's too old to be your friend?

**David Thompson: **Definitely

**Mercedes Jones: **Why would Kurt have a 27 year old friend? That's not like him...

**David Thompson: **Maybe he got tired waiting for a certain jealous hobbit that made him want to go for an adult hobbit...

**Blaine Anderson: **David, I will seriously kill you if you don't shut up.

**David Thompson: **My girlfriend will cut you first before you kill me.

**Mercedes Jones: **True that!

**Blaine Anderson: **Just stop...okay...I made a mistake not telling Kurt I love him...in a more just a friend kind of way...

**Wes Yang: **Yes, you are stupid. Mr. Bang-Bang must have rolled over in his grave...and wants so badly to hit you...

**Blaine Anderson: **I would have let Mr. Bang-Bang hit me right now.

**David Thompson: **Wesley, he's seriously so jealous that he's letting Mr. Bang-Bang hit him. So sad...

**Mercedes Jones: **Don't worry, Blaine. I know for a fact that Kurt loves you.

**Blaine Anderson: **Then why is he on a date with a 27 year old man who has the perfect brown hair, blue eyes, button nose, deep dimples, and very muscled body. A man who's hair doesn't need to be tamed by a number of hair gel bottles...

**Mercedes Jones: **Are you sure that Kurt likes this guy more than as a friend?

**Wes Yang: **Totally...Kurt said he loves the guy in a way...

**Mercedes Jones: **In what way?

**David Thompson: **He just said in a way...

**Blaine Anderson: **In a way that means he's totally in love with the guy...

**David Thompson: **You really are jealous. Even Kurt wasn't this jealous when you were with Jeremiah.

**Blaine Anderson: **I can't help it. I'm in love with him now.

**Wes Yang: **Again, reminding you that you should have said you love him when you had the chance. Instead of telling him that you just love him as a friend...

**David Thompson: **And now, Kurt is in the arms of another man who has better hair than you...

**Mercedes Jones: **Would you two shut up and stop making Blaine feel so bad? Seriously I thought you guys were his friends!

**Blaine Anderson: **Thanks, Mercedes. You're my only friend. Unlike this two hobbits.

**Mercedes Jones: **Don't sweat it, Blaine. I love you as much as I love Kurt. Besides, I'm team Klaine.

**Wes Yang: **Team KLAINE!

**David Thompson: **As much as I 'am team Mercevid, I'm also team Klaine!

**Blaine Anderson: **What's team Klaine?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Mercedes Jones: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* Stupid...clueless...jealous...dumb...hobbit...

**Mercedes Jones: **Blaine, KLAINE is you're couple name with Kurt. We've been rooting for you two to get together ever since you met.

**Blaine Anderson: **How come no one told me about this?

**David Thompson: **Because you are a clueless, jealous, and now regretting hobbit! :)

**Wes Yang: **I second what David said.

**Blaine Anderson: **I really hate you guys! I seriously need to find better friends.

**Wes Yang: **Blaine, you will never find people who can put up with your obsession with Katy Perry even if you travel all over the world...

**David Thompson: **you're stuck with us

**Wes Yang: **forever!

**Blaine Anderson: **Just kill me now! Please!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry** has changed her status from **single **to **in a relationship with Noah Puckerman**

**Rachel Berry: **Noah, I just want to say, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have broken up with you because of a trend. I'm so stupid.

**Noah Puckerman: **It's no problem, Rachel. I'm sorry that I didn't told you I love you any sooner.

**Rachel Berry: **I don't deserve you.

**Noah Puckerman: **Yes you do. I love you, my Hot Jewish Princess!

**Rachel Berry: **I love you, my Sex Shark

**Noah Puckerman: **Wanna make out?

**Rachel Berry: **I thought you'd never ask...

**Santana Lopez: **While you're at it, take her freaking virginity NOW! Save us all the misery of her being a virgin.

**Britney S. Pierce, Kurt Hummel, **and **33,432,342 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **Already on it...

**Santana Lopez: **As the great **Noah Puckerman **says, GET SOME!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: And another chapter of Facebook Gleeks end? So what do you think about? Tell me in the reviews!**

**Thanks again for the reviews and the alerts and the favorites, and the 12,000 hits! You guys are all amazing and I love you all!**

**Special thanks to the people who liked the Mr. Bang-Bang page! For going out of your way to liking a crazy page! All 29 of you have special place in my heart. If you haven't been to the page...then go like the page! Just search ****Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang **

**My Favorite Part: The Warblers meeting and the talk about Kurt's hips. As a girl, even though Chris Colfer is gay...I worship his hips. They are so hot...especially when he dances single ladies.**

**My Favorite Quote and Quoter: ****Dominic Sayver: **"Please with low fat ice cream, cherries, and Darren Criss on top?" **I will say yes to anything as long Darren Criss is in the sentence. :)**

**Tell me what's your favorite part and quote! Also, if you want the Gleeks to talk about a topic you like, just tell me in the reviews!**

**Who is Dominic Sayver? Has Kurt really replaced Blaine in his heart? Will Rachel lose her virginity to Noah or fall asleep again? Tune in next time for Welcome to the World of Facebook Gleeks!**

**Wow, I'm really am turning into a commercial. I must be watching commercials a lot. Oh well...**

**Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and readers! Especially all of your support! :)**

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows**


	9. Song Suggestions and Jealous B

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Hey Everybody! Another chapter done and is going to treat you guys for a treat of laughter, drama, and Mr. Bang-Bang goodness! **

**This chapter is more focused on the Warblers than New Directions but don't despair. The next chapter would be heavily focused on New Directions and a crazy argument.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Warning: Rated T/M for foul language**

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to say it?**

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Nine:**

**Song Suggestions and Jealous B**

**Kurt Hummel **to** Dominic Sayver**, I had a great time with you at the movies tonight. Even though we watched Black Swan and saw a lesbian scene that will never be erased in my mind. :(

**Dominic Sayver: **:)It's also stuck in my mind, Little Kurtie. Don't worry. I had a blast with you too! Thanks for coming with me! Good night and have sweet little dreams!

**Kurt Hummel: **You too! Night!

**Blaine Anderson: **WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!

**Kurt Hummel: **Woah! Blaine? Its midnight and you're still online...I'm not surprised...Are you YouTube stalking Katy Perry again?

**Blaine Anderson: **It's NOT STALKING! I just love watching her interviews and music videos...Plus, do I need to remind you what tonight is?

**Kurt Hummel:** ...shit! *hits forehead with hand* I'm sorry, Blaine! I forgot that it's Sad Romantic Movies Night.

**Blaine Anderson: **You never forget! Why did you forget?

**Kurt Hummel: **I was out with Dominic...

**Blaine Anderson: **Dominic again *insert clench teeth*... I thought you and Dominic are just friends?

**Kurt Hummel: **We are

**Blaine Anderson: **Then, why are you going to the movies with him?

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks very confused* ...because we're friends

**Blaine Anderson: ***rolls eyes* I highly doubt that. I doubt that as much as I doubt Wesley and David being straight.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, you and me are best friends and we go to the movies all the time!

**Blaine Anderson: **...not the same

**Kurt Hummel: ***crosses arms and raises eyebrows at him* how so?

**Blaine Anderson: **...because...it's different...

**Kurt Hummel: **...again...how so?

**Blaine Anderson: **...because...I'm your best friend...and he's just you're...friend...

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Blaine, you do realize that we are having a conversation about nonsense, right?

**Blaine Anderson: **No we're not. This totally makes sense!

**Kurt Hummel: ***double facepalm* ugh! I'm not having a conversation about nonsense with an obsessed Katy Perry fan that doesn't make any sense. Good night, Blaine. *walks out dramatically*

**Blaine Anderson: **...why does Kurt always walk out dramatically?

************Facebook Addicts************

**David Thompson **to **Blaine Anderson: **Why is jealous hobbit, aka **Blaine Anderson**, is still so jealous of Kurt's new friend?

**Blaine Anderson: **David? Why are you still online? Are you watching porn again?

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* dude! I told you I stopped watching those videos once I started dating Mercedes. That girl would kill me if she knew I watch those things!

**Blaine Anderson: ***evil look on his face* you do realize that I can use that brand new information in blackmailing you.

**David Thompson: **...shit...damn...curse Darren Criss

**Blaine Anderson: ***smirking* don't say that while Kurt's around, or he'll cut you like a bitch.

**David Thompson: **Wait a minute...tell Tater Tots about me and porn...I'll tell Kurt about that picture of Dominic Sayver in your room with so many darts on it!

**Blaine Anderson: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* you wouldn't dare!

**David Thompson: **Anderson, you do know I never say no to dares! You remember that dare Trent made me and Wesley do...and by dare...I mean our lips coming together...

**Blaine Anderson: **And you wouldn't admit that you liked it.

**David Thompson: **BECAUSE I DIDN'T!

**Blaine Anderson: **I'll believe that when pigs fly! And pigs CAN'T fly!

**David Thompson: **Whatever! Now we both have blackmail material with each other!

**Blaine Anderson: **Damn...I was going to ask you for a favor...

**David Thompson: **Anderson, if you ask me again if that blue wig of yours looks great on you one more times, I will seriously post the Katy Perry pictures of you on Facebook!

**Blaine Anderson: **Why does everyone have pictures of me with a blue wig on?

**David Thompson: **I stole them from Kurt and photocopied them.

**Blaine Anderson: **...I hate you!

**David Thompson: **I hate you too! Though you love me...

**Blaine Anderson: **Never!

**David Thompson: **But you do love Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson: **More than you'll ever realize...

**David Thompson: **...well...if it will make you feel any better...I hate Dominic as much you do...

**Blaine Anderson:**Thanks man... I hate Dominic too.

**David Thompson: **And by hate...you are totally jealous of him.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah...I more jealous of Dominic than I 'am with Russell Brand and Darren Criss...

**David Thompson: ***face freaking palm* you're Katy Perry obsession will never cease. I'm so sad for Kurt once you two get together...

**Blaine Anderson: **And that's a big "IF"

**David Thompson: **BTW, what was the favor you were going to ask me?

**Blaine Anderson: **Nothing...it was a stupid idea...it was a stupid nothing...

**David Thompson: **No...what's a stupid idea is not telling Kurt you love him and now you are in pain to see him in the arms of another man who has flawless hair and who's older than you...

**Blaine Anderson: ***glares at Dark Chocolate* Shut up! I was just going to ask you if you could get more details about Dominic from Kurt.

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*Please don't tell me you're going to Google him...

**Blaine Anderson: **fine, I'll not say I'm going to Google him though I'm not promising. Please man?

**David Thompson: **You are pathetic right now, Anderson.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes...pathetically in love.

**David Thompson: **I don't know what I hate more...clueless hobbit...or...jealous hobbit...

**Blaine Anderson: ***middle finger pointed at Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: **I 'AM NOT A PORN ADDICT!

**Blaine Anderson: **Right...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson **to **Nick Connors: **Hey N! I was wondering if you would like to go with me and watch Never Say Neversince I know you're love for Justin Bieber.

**Nick Connors: **:) Oh my God! Thanks Trent! Sure! I've been dying to watch that movie for days now. But I don't to watch it alone...I'm already too obsessed...

**Trent Nicholson: **Cool! See you on the weekends!

**Nick Connors: **Can Jeff come?

**Trent Nicholson: ***cough* no *cough* why do you want JJ to come?

**Nick Connors: **DUH!Because he's dreamy!

**Trent Nicholson: **Again...no...besides he's just going to eat all the popcorn!

**Nick Connors: **I'll just buy more popcorn then! :)

**Trent Nicholson: ***sighs* Fine, bring JJ...

**Nick Connors: **Thanks Trent! You're the best. *leaves to find Mr. Dreamy*

**Trent Nicholson: **More like Mr. Ruins-my-plans...I hate JJ...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jordan McClaine: **is getting double laid tonight! Yahoo!

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*It's still the afternoon and the Warbler practice hasn't began and already you're thinking about what you're doing tonight.

**Jordan McClaine: **You're again jealous because I'm getting laid. You, on the other hand, have nothing to do tonight but study and be sexless

**Thad Stevens: **I would rather be smart and sexless than be horny and only thinks about sex like you

**Jordan McClaine: **Dude, that sucks. Sex always beats intelligence...just ask Paris Hilton!

**Thad Stevens: **I'm not surprised that she's your idol...

**Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, **and **234 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **While you're idol is Albert Einstein...

**Thad Stevens: **Yes...yes he is my idol. What he contributed to the world will forever change us all.

**Jordan McClaine: ***facepalm* Nerd...

**Thad Stevens: **Sex Addict...

**Jordan McClaine: **At least I get to study the anatomy of the reproductive system of women! Beat that sucker!

**Thad Stevens: **At least I get to have As in tests without studying! Beat that! :P

**Jordan McClaine: **...

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, you got served by a nerd!

**Jordan McClaine: **Who the hell are you?

**Finn Hudson: **Finn, Kurt's brother.

**Jordan McClaine: **You mean his brother who he is sure is gay too?

**Finn Hudson: **I'm going to kill Kurt...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay Warblers! I'll be leading this week's Facebook Warbler Meeting!

**Thad Stevens: **O_O Wes actually let you lead the Warblers' meeting? Has he gone insane?

**David Thompson: **Thaddeus, you do know he IS insane, right?

**Thad Stevens: **Insanely in love with Mr. Bang-Bang...YES...but not insane enough to relinquish the authority to lead the Warblers to someone other than himself.

**Wes Yang: **Thad, I'm letting Kurt lead because of my dream last night...

**Aaron Houghston: **What dream?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Was your dream about Chicken Barbeque?

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **about burgers?

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **About thick and juicy steaks?

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **about a river made of chocolate?

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **How about French Fries?

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **Chicken Wings? I always have dreams about Chicken Wings...God I love them.

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **about Tater Tots?

**David Thompson: **HEY!

**Jeff Jefferson: ***rolls eyes* the FOOD Tater Tots not the GIRLFRIEND Tater Tots

**Wes Yang: **No

**Jeff Jefferson: **What about food on women?

**Jordan McClaine: **Hey! That's my dream! Wesley, did you dream about food on women? Because that dream is absolutely delicious! :)

**Wes Yang: ***bangs Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit on Jeff and Jordan's head.* I did not have a dream about FOOD or WOMEN!

**Jeff Jefferson: **That sucks, man

**Jordan McClaine: **Totally sucks man

**Nick Connors: **Did you have a dream about Justin Bieber? Because he's MINE!

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* No Nick, I did not have a dream about your love.

**Nick Connors: **He's not my love. He's my soul mate! 

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: **Wesley, if you had a dream about Tater Tots SO HELP ME GRILLED CHEESUS...I will push a pillow on your face, cut off your oxygen supply, and make it look like an accident.

**Wes Yang: **David, I will never dream about your girlfriend.

**David Thompson: **Good, don't you dare try!

**Wes Yang: **Besides, I don't think she's hot anyway...

**David Thompson: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* BLASPHEMY! BURN THE ANTI-TATER TOTS!

**Blaine Anderson: **Would you two stop fighting about Mercedes?

**David Thompson: **Wesley, this is not over! YOU HEAR ME!

**Wes Yang: **Of course I can hear you. You're right next to me!

**Kurt Hummel: **Wesley, if you had a dream about my Darren Criss, I will take Mr. Bang-Bang's grave and throw it at the sea.

**Wes Yang: **O_O You wouldn't dare!

**Kurt Hummel: **I would. No one dreams my Darren Criss except me. HE'S MINE!

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*would this constant asking of Wesley's dream stop already! Wesley, what the hell did you dream about?

**Wes Yang: ***has a dreaming face* I dreamt about me and Mr. Bang-Bang frolicking through a patch of flowers...

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough*Super gay *cough*

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, Blaine! Now...while Mr. Bang-Bang and I were frolicking, he told me to be nicer to all of you, and to start giving you guys more chances to become leaders. Also, he promised he would hit me in the head if I don't act more of a leader to all of you.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* I can't believe you're following the advice of a gavel. A dead gavel. You seriously need help!

**Wes Yang: **You have no idea how wise Mr. Bang-Bang is.

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* wiser than you, I believe *cough*

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, jealous hobbit!

**David Thompson: **Hey! That's my line!

**Kurt Hummel: **Can we just go back to the real meeting? And stop all of these shenanigans?

**Wes Yang: **Seriously? Who still says "shenanigans" at this decade?

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch glares Wesley*

**Jordan McClaine: **No one can stand or beat Kurt's bitch stare.

**Trent Nicholson: **I'm more afraid of that stare than the end of the world.

**Thad Stevens, Jeff Jefferson, **and **34,323,998 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay Warblers, let's proceed. *bangs disco stick*

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, why do have a disco stick?

**Kurt Hummel: **Duh!Every true Lady Gaga monster owns one.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine: **Is it wrong that I'm severely turned on by that stick? Maybe because it reminds me of what Lady Gaga was referring to about that stick...or Kurt is really hot with a disco stick...?

**Trent Nicholson: **Absolutely

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY! You can't get turned on by Kurt!

**David Thompson: ***cough* seriously jealous hobbit *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, Dark Chocolate!

**David Thompson: **I told you to stop calling me that! *bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch glares both hobbits* WOULD YOU TWO STOP BITCH SLAPPING! ONLY I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BITCH SLAP YOU PEOPLE!

**Blaine Anderson: **...*scared of Kurt's bitch glare*

**David Thompson: **...*also scared of Kurt's bitch glare*

**Kurt Hummel: **Good, now let's begin. I won't be talking about what happened during our last meeting because it's a complete waste of time...

**Wes Yang: ***insulted face* HEY!

**Kurt Hummel: **Shut up! Now, we are here to suggest songs that will be singing to help Dom.

**Aaron Houghston: **Who's Dom?

**Kurt Hummel: **Dominic Sayver, a friend of mine

**Blaine Anderson: **...a "friend" you go to the movies with...

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Blaine, would you give up with that already? I go to the movies with a lot of people.

**Blaine Anderson: **...and why don't I know this?

**Kurt Hummel: ***double facepalm* because you don't need to know!

**Blaine Anderson: **But I'm your best friend!

**Kurt Hummel: **Ugh! We're having a conversation about nonsense again!

**David Thompson: **As much as the Warblers love watching Klaine fights because we get richer from betting, I think I need to remind both of you two clueless love birds that we are in a meeting...so...stop fighting...

**Blaine Anderson: **David's right...I can't believe I just said that...totally weird...

**David Thompson: ***insert middle finger pointed at jealous hobbit*

**Kurt Hummel: **As I was saying, we need to choose a song. Just one song...any suggestions?

**Thad Stevens: **What kind of songs?

**Kurt Hummel: **Love songs

**Blaine Anderson: ***crosses arms in suspicion* and why love songs? Why can't we sing hip hop or rock?

**Kurt Hummel: **Because Dom loves love songs

**Blaine Anderson: **...that is so not gay... *insert sarcasm*

**David Thompson: ***cough* a very jealous hobbit *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **Any suggestions you guys?

**Trent Nicholson: **How aboutLove Story by Taylor Swift?

**Kurt Hummel: **...nah...Dom is not a fan of Taylor Swift

**Thad Stevens:**Ready For Love by Tata Young?

**Kurt Hummel: **...too rock...

**David Thompson: **If You're Not The One by Daniel Beddingfield

**Kurt Hummel: **...too cheesy...

**Jeff Jefferson: ***licks lips hungrily* ...I love cheese...

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Nick Connors: **Baby by Justin Bieber?

**Kurt Hummel: **Dominic hates Justin Bieber

**Nick Connors: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* BLASPHEMY! BURN THE UNBIELIEVER!

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: **What about My Cat?

**Blaine Anderson: ***confused face* My Cat?

**Kurt Hummel: **Who wrote it?

**Aaron Houghston: **Britney S. Pierce

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* I'm not even surprised

**Blaine Anderson **and **34,326,345 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **No, we are not singing a song about a cat!

**Blaine Anderson: **Thinking of You by Katy Perry?

**Kurt Hummel:** ...too depressing and sad and Blaine, seriously? Katy Perry again?

**Blaine Anderson: **BURN THE KATY PERRY HATER!

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes* you need help, Blaine...

**Jordan McClaine: **How aboutI Just Had Sex by Lonely Islands?

**Kurt Hummel: **No sex songs, Jordan! How is that even considered a love song!

**Jordan McClaine: ***shrugs* Jizz in My Pants by Lonely Island?

**Kurt Hummel: **And no songs about cum in pants! Jordan! You are disgusting!

**Jordan McClaine: **Kill joy!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Mac and Cheese by Barney?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* And no songs about food and weird purple dinosaurs!

**David Thompson: **Hey! I think I got it!

**Kurt Hummel: **David, if that song is about Tater Tots, I'll tell Mercedes about your old porn addiction.

**David Thompson: ***glares at Blaine* you told him!

**Blaine Anderson: **Sorry dude, it slipped...

**David Thompson: **I hate you, Anderson! And you're going to pay!

**Kurt Hummel: **David, I already took the blackmail photos you have of Blaine.

**David Thompson: **O_O How the hell did you even do that?

**Kurt Hummel: **Two words...Jeff Jefferson

**David Thompson: ***glares at Jeff* you let him in our room!

**Jeff Jefferson: **He bribed me with Chicken Wings

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* Stupid Chicken Wings...

**Blaine Anderson: **Thank you, Kurt! I love you!

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **...Uh...as a friend!

**Wes Yang: **IDIOT! *grabs Kurt's disco stick and hits Blaine's head with it*

**Blaine Anderson: **Oww! Wesley!

**Wes Yang: **Stupid and idiotic hobbit!

**Blaine Anderson: **It's not the time!

**Wes Yang: **And the only time would be the time you're too late! Grow some freaking balls, Blaine!

**Kurt Hummel: **What are you two talking about?

**Blaine Anderson: **Nothing Kurt...

**Wes Yang: **IDIOT! *looks at the heavens* Mr. Bang-Bang, please come to me right now! I need to teach this jealous and idiotic hobbit a lesson!

**Blaine Anderson: ***grabs Kurt's disco stick and hits Wesley*

**Wes Yang: **OWW!

**David Thompson: **WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP THAT AND ACT LIKE DIGNIFIED MEN? FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

**Blaine Anderson: ***hangs head in shame* ...

**Wes Yang: ***hangs head in shame* ...

**Kurt Hummel: **...

**Thad Stevens: **...

**Jordan McClaine: **That is so hot...

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O Sometimes, I question your sexuality, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: ***shrugs* can't blame you. I even find a stove hot.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm and shakes head from disbelief* David, what is your suggestion?

**David Thompson: **You Had Me At Hello by Kenny Chesney

**Wes Yang: **that song is so cheesy

**Jeff Jefferson: ***licks tongue hungrily* I love cheese! Now I'm getting hungrier...

**Thad Stevens: **You love everything as long as it considered food.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes, yes I do

**Nick Connors: **Isn't Jeff dreamy?

**Trent Nicholson: **For the hundredth time...NO!

**Aaron Houghston: **You can count to 100?

**Kurt Hummel: **David, your suggestion is perfect!

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**Thad Stevens: **O_O

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **It is?

**Kurt Hummel: **Totally! Dominic loves that song so much!

**David Thompson: ***smirking* Glad I could help...

**Kurt Hummel: **And just for that, I'll help you with your attire when you and Cedes go on a date. You'll look so handsome Mercedes will devour you on the table!

**David Thompson: **O_O Thanks man! I'm so going to ask out Tater Tots after this. Can't wait to be devoured!

**Jordan McClaine: **Lucky bro!

**David Thompson: **I love you, Kurt Hummel!

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY! *glares at David*

**David Thompson: **Sorry *cough* jealous hobbit who just won't say it *cough*

**Kurt Hummel: **Looks like we have the song. So...meeting adjourned! *bangs disco stick*

**Jordan McClaine: **Still thinking of hot things with that stick

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Still thinking of food...

**Trent Nicholson: **is not surprised

**Nick Connors: **isn't Jeff dreamy?

**Trent Nicholson: **for the millionth time, NO!

**Wes Yang: **Still thinking of Mr. Bang-Bang...

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* These meetings are insane...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson: **

a new name for B. Jealous B.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Trent! Would you stop calling people with the first letter in their names? And seriously? Even you? Stop calling me jealous B or jealous hobbit!

**Trent Nicholson: **

But you are jealous, B. You're jealous of my brister's new friend.

**Blaine Anderson: **

brister?

**Trent Nicholson: **

Brother and sister mixed together. Kurt's a boy but technically a girl so his my brister.

**Blaine Anderson: **

So wait...we're bristers too?

**Trent Nicholson: **

Of course, you're gay too. Join the club.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Thanks. Trent, I hate my life.

**Trent Nicholson: **

Tell me about it. Join the club too.

**Blaine Anderson: **

:? Why are do you hate your life?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Has Kurt never told you about me and Nick?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sighs* Kurt and I haven't been hanging out a lot lately. He's always with *insert disgust in saying name* Dominic...

**Trent Nicholson:**

:) Man, B. You are clearly very jealous.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Tell me about it. I hate the name Dominic and everyone who has the name Dominic. I mean, what does Kurt see in him?

**Trent Nicholson:**

He's not that bad.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*suspicious look on his face* how do you know?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Dominic was at Dalton one day and they were at Kurt's room. Dominic was practicing a speech or something while Kurt was finishing his French test.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O Where the hell was I when he was here?

**Trent Nicholson:**

You were playing the new Halo game with the straight-but-gay-4-each-other-twins.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Damn Wesley and David. We're Kurt and Dominic making out?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Hell no! That would have blinded me. As much as I love gay love, I don't like watching it get physical.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wait? Dominic's gay?

**Trent Nicholson:**

No. And I have amazing gaydar. The only thing gay thing I can find about him is his smell. He smells gay but maybe it's because he was wearing Kurt's perfume.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Why is Dominic wearing Kurt's perfume? Maybe they were making out...

**Trent Nicholson:**

:) I love watching you jealous. If Kurt knew, he'll love this.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Do you think he's doing this on purpose?

**Trent Nicholson:**

No. Because he would faint the moment he knows you're in love with him. He would literally die happy. Why won't you just say it?

**Blaine Anderson:**

What if he doesn't feel the same? I might ruin our friendship. I would rather have him as my friend than not be with him.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Quoting the straight-but-gay twins, Blaine, you are one clueless and stupid hobbit.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Only with you, I will admit I 'am. I should have just told my feelings. I shouldn't be afraid to tell them.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Well...if it makes you feel any better. I feel the same way. I have feelings I should be telling and not keeping to myself.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Who's the lucky guy?

**Trent Nicholson:**

N

**Blaine Anderson:**

Nick Connors? You're in love with the Justin Bieber obsessed warbler?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Yeah. I actually think he's obsession with Justin is kind of cute.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Man, you've got it bad for Nicky.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Tell me about it.

**Blaine Anderson:**

And it sucks for you to know that Nick's in love with Jeff.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Yeah, it does. N's in love with a boy who's going to be fat and full of heart diseases when he gets old.

**Blaine Anderson:**

:) You're as jealous as me.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Except K's in love with you. N's in love with someone else.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm not that sure. Remember Dominic Sayver. I really want to kick his ass. He's taking something that should be mine.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Don't worry. He's not. Dominic seems to be a good guy but way too old for Kurt. I'm sure their just friends. I promise.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Thanks...I should believe you. Jealous Blaine sucks. But...can I ask why haven't you told Nick about your feelings.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I'll be rejected for sure and have a heartbreak throughout junior and senior year.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I have proposition for you, Trent.

**Trent Nicholson:**

If you're going to ask me again if we could make a parody of Katy Perry's California Gurls wearing blue wigs, I'm out. Don't even dare ask me.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Not that! I'll only tell Kurt my feelings for him if you tell your feelings for Nick.

**Trent Nicholson:**

As D's girlfriend would say, HELL TO THE NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Trent, come on. You're going to regret this in the future. When you keep thinking about the "what ifs" in your life. Don't make your feelings for Nick your biggest what if. As your brister, I'm not going to let you not take the opportunity.

**Trent Nicholson:**

You do realize that you're making this as a reason not to tell K about your true feelings? You're being a coward.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sighs* it's one of my reasons. But the major reason is I want to help you. You can't feel unrequited love forever.

**Trent Nicholson:**

You're doing it to Kurt. You're hurting him for not telling him.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'll give hints but I won't tell him.

**Trent Nicholson:**

You're going to regret this, B. You're going to hate me for saying yes to this deal.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You're going to love me once you and Nick are making gay babies together.

**Trent Nicholson:**

You still have time to back out. You can go make gay babies with Kurt right now...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Someday, Kurt and I will make gay babies. But right now, you should grow some balls and tell Nick you're feelings.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Fine, but it would take some time. And you're help.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine, it's a deal then? *holds out hands*

**Trent Nicholson:**

You're going to regret this, jealous hobbit. *shakes hand of B*

**Blaine Anderson:**

Maybe...maybe not...all I know...is that people should be with the people they love. I'm still with Kurt, just not in the way I want to.

**Trent Nicholson:**

When did you realize you love him?

**Blaine Anderson:**

When David and I were talking, I realized I 'am in love with him. I've been in love with him since I met him. The moment I saw him on that staircase, my breathe was literally taken away from me, I lost my voice for a second, my feet were stuck on the ground, my legs felt like jelly, and the only thing I can do is stare at the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life. I fell hard, really hard, but I tried to suppress that because of what happened to him with the President of Narnia. Then I pushed my feelings to the back of my mind so much that I completely forgot I'm in love with him. Jeremiah was a mistake. I wasn't in love with him. I was just making an excuse not to fall for my best friend. I can't help not falling for Kurt. He's the most passionate, self-less, funniest, cutest, most generous, most sincere, most bitchy, most caring, and most loving person I've ever met. I love everything about him, he's beautiful ocean eyes that sparkle every time I look at them and I sometimes get lost in those beautiful eyes. He's adorable rosy cheeks. Every time he blushes, I have to manifest all my will power not to kiss his cheeks. He's beautiful flawless face that I just want to cup with my hand and hold on to forever. He's voice...the most amazing and beautiful voice I ever heard. It's so angel-like that it was made by the angels in heaven. I always tear up when I hear his voice. Especially when he sings with so much emotion, I just want to hold on to him forever. He's lips...my God...don't get me started with his lips...his lips that I can't help but fantasize being attached to mine...those are the only lips that I wanted to much, I could give up everything for those lips...the day Kurt and I have our first kiss...would be the day that seals our future forever...Kurt's smile...always melts my worries and troubles away...I always love making Kurt smile...I feel like I'm doing something right when I make him smile...And his hands, my Grilled Cheesus, he's soft SOFT hands that I constantly wish to intertwine my fingers too. The spaces between our fingers fit perfectly with each other. And whenever we stop holding hands, I feel a wave of sadness at the loss. And lastly, I know I fell very hard for the way looks at me. Because Kurt Hummel is the only one who can see the real me. Who can understand the real Blaine Anderson, not just someone who's dapper, gay, and is good singing. But Kurt sees the good in me, and loves me flaws. He accepts me for the good and bad. He even accepts my obsession with Katy Perry that alone says a lot. I'm in love with Kurt Hummel and I know in my heart, he is it for me. I can't love another guy but him. I hate that I was clueless and I hate that I hurt him with Jeremiah. But Kurt should always know that I would always love him. Today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, ten years from now, fifty years from now, till the day we both die, even if we're just souls...I will always love him. Always...

**Trent Nicholson:**

*wipes away the river of tears on his face with so much tissue* Blaine...that was...I can't even describe it...my God...I'm so jealous of Kurt...he's so lucky to be loved by someone like you...God, you need to tell him exactly what you told me...

**Blaine Anderson:**

In time I will, I just wanted someone to know how much I'm madly, deeply, truly, and passionately in love with Kurt Hummel.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Nick Connors **to **Jeff Jefferson: **Hey Jeff! Want to come with me and Trent to the movies this Saturday? We'll be watching Never Say Never?

**Jeff Jefferson: **...will there be popcorn?

**Nick Connors: **Yeah

**Jeff Jefferson: **...and french fries?

**Nick Connors: **Okay

**Jeff Jefferson: **...and ice cream?

**Nick Connors: **Absolutely

**Jeff Jefferson: **...and Mountain Dew?

**Nick Connors: **Sure

**Jeff Jefferson: **Alright! Free food! I'd love to go to the movies!

**Nick Connors: **I love you

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O What?

**Nick Connors: **...I mean...uh...I...I...I...love...that...you're coming with us...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Oh...cool...see you, Trent, and the food on Saturday.

**Nick Connors: **Kay! See you then...

**Nick Connors: **Why am I so in love with Jeff? *looks at the heavens* Why Justin Bieber?

************Facebook Addicts************

**David Thompson: **

Damn Kurt, when you said Tater Tots would devour me with my attire, you weren't kidding. My clothes are all ripped apart and she almost sucked my face off and the life out of me. TOTALLY AWESOME DUDE! I love you so much right now! BEST DATE EVER!

**Kurt Hummel: **

I'm happy I could help. And btw, I know what happened. Mercedes kept texting me after you're date.

**David Thompson:**

What did she say?

**Kurt Hummel:**

That you're lips taste totally awesome. *insert gagging face here*

**David Thompson:**

*insert middle finger pointed at Kurt* shut up! Oblivious hobbit!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oblivious hobbit? What am I oblivious about?

**David Thompson:**

*facepalm* you really have no idea about Blaine, don't you?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Besides the fact that he hates Dom for some reason...no...I have no idea...

**David Thompson:**

And that is why you're oblivious...

**Kurt Hummel:**

How am I oblivious?

**David Thompson:**

*facepalm* God, you and Blaine are quite a couple...the clueless and oblivious couple...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Tell me why am I oblivious! Or I'll tell Mercedes about you're porn addiction!

**David Thompson:**

I'AM NOT A PORN ADDICT! I hate Blaine for saying that I 'am.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Whether you are or not...Mercedes will hate you...and then no "devouring" will happen.

**David Thompson:**

*facepalm* fine, Blaine is supermegafoxyawesomehot jealous of Dominic.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine's jealous of Dom? You're kidding?

**David Thompson:**

I'm not. He really is.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Why is he jealous of Dom?

**David Thompson:**

because he's in love with you and he doesn't want you with Dom.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Why does everyone keep telling me Blaine loves me? He only loves me as a friend.

**David Thompson:**

No, you oblivious hobbit. He loves you more than just a friend. He's just too much of a coward to tell you. I'm very sure, I even swear on the grave of Mr. Bang-Bang that Blaine's head over heels in love with you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...okay...maybe I believe you...I still need proof of this from Blaine. Plus, why the hell would Blaine be jealous of Dom? Is this because I go to the movies with him? Because that's insane to be jealous about.

**David Thompson:**

He's jealous that you might have moved on from him and now dating Dominic.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Who the hell said that Dom and I are dating?

**David Thompson:**

So...you and Dominic are not dating? Because this would make Blaine be on cloud nine.

**Kurt Hummel:**

How jealous is Blaine? Is he more jealous of Dom than Russell Brand?

**David Thompson:**

Absolutely!

**Kurt Hummel:**

*insert evil smile here* Then...Dom and I are dating...

**David Thompson:**

Wait a minute...I thought you and Dom are not dating...

**Kurt Hummel:**

I stand corrected :)

**David Thompson:**

Kurt...you know even though we're on Facebook and not talking directly with each other. I know and I sense that you're lying.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not...

**David Thompson:**

I can SENSE you're lying...Kurt...what are you up to?

**Kurt Hummel:**

*insert smirk* I'm just going to enjoy Blaine being super jealous of Dom.

**David Thompson:**

That's a bad idea. Jealous Blaine is worse than Clueless Blaine.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Let me have a little fun and enjoy the show.

**David Thompson:**

Can I just ask you one thing?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Sure! Unless it's about what bra size Mercedes has because that is something you need to find out on your own.

**David Thompson:**

*facepalm* what is your relationship with Dominic?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Something for me to know and for you to never find out. :P *walks out dramatically*

**David Thompson:**

Blaine's right to ask: Why does Kurt always walk out dramatically?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver **to **Kurt Hummel: **Little Kurtie, thank you so much for everything you've been doing! I don't know how to thank you!

**Kurt Hummel: **Just hugs, kisses, and praises are enough... :)

**Dominic Sayver: **well then...*insert kiss on the cheek and one supermegafoxyawesomehot hug* Thank you, Little Kurtie. You're amazing, you know that?

**Kurt Hummel: **:) I've been told before...

**Dominic Sayver: **Well you are amazing! I owe you a lot for what you're doing to me.

**Kurt Hummel: **Anytime, Dom.

**Dominic Sayver: **Well...got to hit the hay. See you tomorrow for more practicing! Night Little Kurtie! And I love you! SOOOOO MUCH!

**Kurt Hummel: **I love you too, Dom. You know that!

**Dominic Sayver: **:) I even hate you love me so much. You love me more than I love you.

**Kurt Hummel: **Is it bad that I love you?

**Dominic Sayver: **Are you kidding me? I'm one lucky bastard to be loved by one Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!

**Kurt Hummel: **:) Good night, Dom! Have sweet dreams!

**Dominic Sayver: **You too, Little Kurtie!

**Blaine Anderson: **SINCE WHEN DO FRIENDS SAY I LOVE YOU ON FACEBOOK!

**Kurt Hummel: **You're online at midnight again? Seriously, Katy Perry is going to give you a restraining order for stalking her so much!

**Blaine Anderson: **Stop changing the subject, Kurt. Why are you guys saying I love you to each other?

**Kurt Hummel: **:) What are you, jealous?

**Blaine Anderson: **:( No

**Kurt Hummel: **I think you are, Mr. Anderson...

**Blaine Anderson: **No I'm not, Mr. Hummel. I 'am certainly not jealous of Dominic.

**Kurt Hummel: **LIAR! Blaine, I think you know by now that you can't lie to me.

**Blaine Anderson: **...*sighs* fine, I can't help it. I'm JEALOUS! Happy now?

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert smirk* Blaine, why are you even jealous? Dom will never compare to you.

**Blaine Anderson: **and yet you keep hanging out with him than me...

**Kurt Hummel: **Just because I hang out with him a lot doesn't mean he compares to you, Blaine. You're way awesomer than Dom. He's 27 for crying out loud.

**Blaine Anderson: **What are you and Dominic?

**Kurt Hummel: ***sighs* just believe me when I tell you that you shouldn't be jealous.

**Blaine Anderson: **fine...I just don't want to lose you Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **You will never lose me, Blaine. I'm never gonna say good bye to you.

**Blaine Anderson: **:) And I'll never say good bye to you, Kurt. Never.

**Kurt Hummel: **Wanna have a Grey's Anatomy marathon at my house?

**Blaine Anderson: **But it's midnight?

**Kurt Hummel: **So? You can stay at my house...dad wouldn't mind...besides I hid his shot gun...

**Blaine Anderson: **On my way! :)

**David Thompson: ***sighs dreamily* Sigh...Klaine love... Why can't they just get together and save us all from our miseries?

**Wes Yang: **Duh! Because Klaine drama is awesome!

**Artie Abrams: **True that!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: And another chapter of Facebook Gleeks is finish. So? What do you guys think? Tell me in the reviews.**

**I think all of you are dying to know who Dominic is. But you'll find out in the next next chapter. Just to calm all of you down because I read in a lot of the reviews that you like his character to be killed...one particular review even said he should die by being eaten by an alligator...poor Dominic. Dominic and Kurt are together but what you'll least expect. Some of you even who Dominic is already...and I gave a lot of clueless at the previous chapter...if not...reread again how Blaine described Dominic while they we're spying on Kurt's date. You'll never miss it.**

**Blaine's speech. I know it's long but I wanted to say a lot of things about it. I wanted Blaine's speech to beat Noah's and David's. The only problem is he didn't say it to Kurt because he hasn't grown any balls. So...HOPE FOR BLAINE TO GROW SOME BALLS!**

**Also, pray for Trent to grow some balls. Klaine won't happen until Treck would happen. All our sympathies to Trent because he's in love with Nick who's in love with Jeff who's in love with food. A bizarre love square. Who do you think Nick should be with? Trent or Jeff? **

**My Favorite Part: The Facebook Warbler Meeting. I love the Warblers' meetings... And Blaine's speech. **

**My Favorite Quoter and Quote: **I'm bias. Since I'm team KLAINE. **Blaine Anderson: **"I'm madly, deeply, truly, and passionately in love with Kurt Hummel." **If this quote is very familiar, I borrowed it from the movie Letters To Juliet.**

**I'm sorry if New Directions wasn't in this chapter but don't despair it's on the next chapter. **

**Also, thanks all again to all the likes of the page ****Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang** **and I wish for you to like another page: ****Penguin, the new Sex Symbol**** Just go search it all on Facebook!**

**Thanks for all the reviews, hits, alerts, and favorites! You guys are totally awesome! I love you guys! :)**

**Commercial:**

**Will Trent finally say he's feelings for Nick or will he be a chicken wing and be eaten by Jeff? What is Kurt and Dominic's relationship? Are they lovers or more? Will Blaine finally say he's true feelings for Kurt? Or torture all of us because of his cowardness and lack of balls? Who will Jordan be sleeping with tonight? Candy? Caramel? You? Tune in next time for another chapter of Gleek Facebook! See u all!**

**All my to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! Peace out! :)**


	10. Will vs Sue II and Braron

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook is finish! Hope you guys enjoy it.**

**This chapter is all about the New Directions' drama. No Warblers but they will pop up unexpected. The featured Warbler is Aaron Houghston. **

**BTW, just pretend that Sarah Pahlin and Donald Trump are going to run for president. I have no idea if it's true that they'll be running but for the sake of this chapter...pretend they are...**

**Warning: Rated T/M for foul language**

**Disclaimer: I will never own Glee or Facebook but I still have a chance to own Darren Criss! DARREN CRISS IS MINE BITCHES! **

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Ten:**

**Will vs. Sue II and Braron**

**Britney S. Pierce **to **Aaron Houghston: **Hello!

**Aaron Houghston: **Hello?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hi!

**Aaron Houghston: **Hi?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hello! :)

**Aaron Houghston: **Uh...hello...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hi! :)

**Aaron Houghston: **Uh...hi...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hello! :)

**Aaron Houghston: **Hello!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hi!

**Aaron Houghston: **Hi!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Hhhheeeeellllllloooooooo!

**Aaron Houghston: **Hhhhiiiiiiihhhhhiiiiiiiiiii!

**Britney S. Pierce: **HI!

**Aaron Houghston: **Hello!

**Wes Yang:**Wow! This Facebook conversation is very fascinating.

**Aaron Houghston and Britney S. Pierce **likes this

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* I was being sarcastic!

**Aaron Houghston: **What's sarcastic?

**Wes Yang: ***double facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm again?

**Wes Yang: ***triple facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sue Sylvester: **is running for President of the United States of America

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm*

**Emma Howell-Pillsbury: ***sanitizes hand then facepalm*

**Coach Shannon Beiste: ***facepalms with a football*

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Santana Lopez: ***facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: ***facepalm* What's a facepalm again?

**Kurt Hummel: ***supermegafoxyawesomehot facepalm because of Brit and Coach Sue*

**Mercedes Jones: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm* She's got to be kidding...

**Sue Sylvester: **One Sue Sylvester does not kid, Frankenstein! I'm going to kick Sarah Pahlin and Donald Trump's asses!

**Quinn Fabray: **She really does need to go to a mental hospital...

**Santana Lopez **and **344,543,646 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Somebody call 911-I'm crazy!

**Britney S. Pierce, Lord Tubbington, **and **35,256,645 **others this

**Sue Sylvester: **Shut up, Stretch marks and Porcelain! Or I will switch you're sexes!

**Kurt Hummel: **Coach...technically we're both girls...I consider myself a girl.

**Sue Sylvester: **You are still a man...a confused man who likes SHOWTUNES...disgusting...more disgusting than **Will Schuester**'s hair.

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm* Sue, please tell me you're kidding.

**Sue Sylvester: **The only time I kid is when I steal candy from a KID. I 'am dead serious, Mr. Hair-filled-with-little-people!

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm* please don't tell me you're still on about that little people invasion.

**Sue Sylvester: **It's very on. As on as your hair dresser, kept torturing you with that ridiculous hair of yours.

**Will Schuester: **Enough with the hair jokes, Sue.

**Sue Sylvester: **The hair jokes will disappear when that horrible thing on top of your head you consider "your hair" has been shaved off by a razor.

**Will Schuester: **in your dreams, Sue!

**Sue Sylvester: **In my dreams...I dream about you and me together in bed, under the covers...

**Santana Lopez: **Eww...old people should never have sex...it's just disgusting...

**Artie Abrams: **True that!

**Tina Cohen-Chang **and **343,634 **others likes this

**Sue Sylvester: **Shut up, Fake Boobs and Unmovable Feet! Or I'll use Unmovable Feet's wheelchair and run over those Fake Boobs of yours!

**Sue Sylvester: **Where was I? Oh yes! I dreamt of me and Spongehair Squarechin under the bed covers. Except Spongehair's head is detached from his body and is being eaten by the omnivore little people that lived in his hair. I lay in bed watching everything with a huge smile and a bowl of popcorn, enjoying what I was seeing.

**Will Schuester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **Sue that is so wrong, it's more wrong than the song Friday being written.

**Artie Abrams: **True that!

**Quinn Fabray **and **32,534,634 **others likes this

**Sue Sylvester: **No, what's wrong is that people can live everyday around you and not knowing that any minute, little people will jump off from that horrible thing on top of your head and cause havoc in their lives, making the world end.

**Will Schuester: **YOU ARE INSANE!

**Rachel Berry: **You just found out now?

**Finn Hudson **and **95,346,564,565 **others likes this

**Sue Sylvester: **William, I resent that accusation of yours. My wife, one Sue Sylvester, and I, one Sue Sylvester, took a test if we were insane and the test said it was negative. Therefore, me and my wife are not insane.

**Will Schuester: **The test is insane.

**Sue Sylvester: **YOU are insane, Butt Chin. To have ridiculous hair like yours! I'm very sure every hairdresser who has touched that hair is dead by now! You are a menace to our society! Poor hairdressers...

**Will Schuester: **I 'am not a murderer

**Sue Sylvester: **You're not. Your hair is the murderer. One look and you're saying hello to Michael Jackson.

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm* I'm leaving Facebook now. I can't live with your insanity! Schuester out! *walks out*

**Sue Sylvester: ***insert the most evil laugh you ever heard* Victory is mine! Take that bitches!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Poor lady dogs...

************Facebook Addict************

**Noah Puckerman: **"I just had SEX!"

**Finn Hudson: **"and it feels so GOOD!"

**Artie Abrams: **"a woman let me put my penis"

**Mike Chang: **"inside her!

**Noah Puckerman: **"I just had sex!"

**Sam Evans: **"And I'll never go back!"

**Finn Hudson: **"To the not-havin'-sex ways of the past"

**Rachel Berry: **Ugh! That song is so offensive towards women!

**Santana Lopez: **And yet I love singing that song after I got laid.

**Quinn Fabray: **True that!

**Rachel Berry: **"I just had SEX!"

**Quinn Fabray: **"And it felt so good!"

**Santana Lopez: **"I let a boy put his penis!

**Lauren Zizes:** "inside me!"

**Mercedes Jones: **"I just had sex!"

**Britney S. Pierce: **"And I'll never go back"

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **"To the not-havin'-sex ways of the past"

**Burt Hummel: **What the hell do they teach you in school?

**Finn Hudson: **Singing?

**Noah Puckerman: **Sex?

**Rachel Berry: **Singing songs about sex! :)

**Burt Hummel: **Good thing I pulled out my son out that school.

**Noah Puckerman: **Sucks for him that he can't sing songs about sex.

**Artie Abrams **and **324,345 **others likes this

**Principal Figgins: **Noah Puckerman! In my office NOW!

**Noah Puckerman: **Oh shit...

**Burt Hummel: **That's what singing sex songs gets you. 

************Facebook Addicts************

**Noah Puckerman: **has escaped the principal office...again. I'm so awesome!

**Finn Hudson: **Hey Puck, can I ask you a question?

**Noah Puckerman: **If you're going to ask if you can get AIDS from a cucumber...I already told you...yes...that's why NEVER eat cucumbers!

**Finn Hudson: **Not that! I'm never eating cucumbers again. Can I ask if you and Rach did the nasty-nasty already?

**Noah Puckerman: **And by nasty-nasty...you mean sex?

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah

**Noah Puckerman: **Yeah...I took Rach's big V, But we didn't have sex...we made love to each other

**Santana Lopez: **That's sex for five years olds.

**Finn Hudson: **Five years can't have sex...can they?

**Santana Lopez: ***facepalm* idiot.

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you, Satan!

**Santana Lopez: **Sure, come to my place now.

**Finn Hudson: **Never in a million years.

**Santana Lopez: **Can you count to a million?

**Finn Hudson: **...no...

**Santana Lopez: **Sucks for you :P

**Finn Hudson: **:(

************Facebook Addicts*************

**Britney S. Pierce: **to **Aaron Houghston: **Are you a dolphin?

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a dolphin?

**Britney S. Pierce: **A gay shark

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a shark?

**Britney S. Pierce: **A kind of fish

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a fish?

**Britney S. Pierce: **A number

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a number?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Wan, too, tree, for, fish, cheeks, sayven, ate, naine, teen...I can only count to teen.

**Aaron Houghston: **It's okay...I can only say the alphabet until "N"

**Britney S. Pierce: **...do you wanna make out?

**Aaron Houghston: **...what's make out?

**Britney S. Pierce: **It's when my girl tongue and you're boy tongue have a girl-boy dance.

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't know how to dance. Especially with my tongue...

**Britney S. Pierce: **I know how to dance and my tongue knows too! Lord Tubbington knows too!

**Aaron Houghston: **Who's Lord Tubbington?

**Britney S. Pierce: **My cat.

**Aaron Houghston: **Cool! I have a cat too. Her name is Lady Tubbington.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Our cats and we should totally make out.

**Aaron Houghston: **Cool! I'll go to your place!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Can't wait for our cat date!

**Aaron Houghston: **Me too!

**Wes Yang: **I cannot believe stupidness can lead to something good...and by good...I mean make out sessions

**Aaron Houghston, Lord Tubbington **and **Britney S. Pierce **likes this

**Wes Yang: **is jealous of **Aaron Houghston**

**Aaron Houghston: **what's jealous?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* I take back what I said. At least I have a brain...

**Aaron Houghston: **what's a brain?

**Wes Yang: ***double facepalm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm again?

**Wes Yang: ***triple facepalm* I'm getting tired of facepalming...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sue Sylvester **made a new page called **Vote 4 Sue! Or Sue'll Kill U!**

**Sue Sylvester **likes the page **Vote 4 Sue! Or Sue'll Kill U!**

**Sue Sylvester: **like the page **Vote 4 Sue! Or Sue'll Kill U! **Or I'll hunt you down and literally end your pathetic lives!

**Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, **and **3,564,354 **others likes this

**Sue Sylvester: **I'm so going to win elections! *insert evil laugh*

**Will Schuester: **You can't threaten people to vote for you! That's blackmail!

**Sue Sylvester: **Oh yes I can, Butt Chin. I can as much as I can insult that disgusting, horrible, and just plain wrong hair of yours.

**Will Schuester: **Well, you know what Sue. At least my hair looks like it's been taken care off. Your looks like a man's and it's never been combed.

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **Your hair is so bad, bald men have better hair than you do. **(A/N: I 'am not insulting the bald people. I'm just using baldness as a joke. Please don't be offended or sue. I'm just a kid...a teenage kid...)**

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **Your hair is so bad, shampoo and conditioner run away in terror the minute they see your hair.

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **Your hair is so bad it only has one hair style: Bad Hairdo

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **Your hair is so bad when you get a haircut no hairdresser would come to near it. At least my hair they still touch.

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **Your hair is so bad that no man will ever love you because of that ridiculous hair of yours!

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O

**Will Schuester: **And most of all, your hair is so bad, it's as bad as your personality. Your personality is like Hitler's and Nixon's combined. No wonder no one likes you. NO ONE WILL EVER LIKE YOU!

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O you win, Schuester.

**Will Schuester: **O_O what?

**Sue Sylvester: **You win, I lose. Good bye. *signs off Facebook*

**Will Schuester: **Did Sue Sylvester just admit she lost to me? Is this a dream?

**Will Schuester: **is doing a victory! Take that Sue Sylvester! Take that you bitch!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Poor lady dog... :(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson **to **Britney S. Pierce: **How long have you been cheating on me?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Since when have you been a test?

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm* cheating on me with Aaron Houghston?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Who's Aaron Houghston?

**Finn Hudson: ***double facepalm* the guy you're cheating on me with.

**Britney S. Pierce: **are you a Math test?

**Finn Hudson: ***hits head on wall from disbelief* the guy you're making out with.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Oh...you mean Aaron and Lady Tubbington?

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm*yeah him

**Britney S. Pierce: **But I'm just teaching him how to dance with his tongue. Also, Lord Tubbington is teaching Lady Tubbington how to make out with their cat tongues.

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm* you're kidding me. Who in the world needs to be taught how to make out? All humans know how to do that. Is Aaron an alien?

**Aaron Houghston: **Finn, I'm not an alien. And Britney is just really teaching me how tongues can dance with each other. I seriously don't know how.

**David Thompson: **Aaron speaks the truth, Finn. I even think Britney is Aaron's first kiss.

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a first kiss?

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* yup, I'm definitely right...

**Finn Hudson: **Britt, you still shouldn't have taught Aaron. We're together and that means only my tongue can dance with yours.

**Britney S. Pierce: **I'm sorry, Finny. Let me make it up to you. You, me, and Aaron should have a threesome.

**Finn Hudson: **O_O Awesome! *runs to Britt's house with a pack of condoms*

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a threesome?

**Britney S. Pierce: **It's when three people move around in bed without clothes and have their tongues all over each other.

**Aaron Houghston: **But I don't know how to threesome...

**Britney S. Pierce: **Finny and I will show you. Come to my house now.

**Aaron Houghston: **Uh...okay...

**Jordan McClaine: **I can't believe Aaron's going to lose his virginity to a threesome. I'm so jealous!

**Thad Stevens: **Looks like someone has a better sex life than you do.

**Jordan McClaine: **Dream on, nerd! I'm the sex king of Dalton. No one can take my place!

**Wes Yang: **Maybe I should act more stupid...maybe I'll get laid more...

**Blaine Anderson: **Aren't you already stupid? :)

**Wes Yang: ***prays for Mr. Bang-Bang to rise from his grave and hit jealous hobbit on the head*

**Blaine Anderson: **For the hundredth-millionth time, Wesley! HE'S GONE!

**Wes Yang: **Silence! He is here. We can't see him. But we can feel him hitting us on the head...he's the reason we get random headaches.

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* For Grilled Cheesus sakes! It's just a gavel!

**Wes Yang: **SILENCE!

**David Thompson: **Blaine, call 911-I'm crazy!

**Blaine Anderson: **On it!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry: **wants her Sex Shark, now!

**Noah Puckerman: **On my way, baby!

**Santana Lopez: **Looks like Puck let out the beast inside Man-hands.

**Rachel Berry: **Yes, yes he did. :)

**Santana Lopez: **Congratulations! Welcome to the non-virgins society!

**Rachel Berry: **Thank you, bitch! Now, I'll be taking that Sex Bitch title of yours.

**Santana Lopez: **In your dreams, Man-hands. I'm better in bed than you'll ever be.

**Rachel Berry: **Don't be so sure. In time, I'll be taking that crown.

**Santana Lopez: **fuck you!

**Rachel Berry: **Gladly, come to my place now.

**Santana Lopez: **I wouldn't have sex with you even if you're the last person in the world.

**Rachel Berry: **Don't say you liked it till you tried it, bitch!

**Santana Lopez: **I'm going to have wild sex with someone and record it. You'll see why I own my crown.

**Rachel Berry: **Bring it, bitch!

**Santana Lopez: **Wesley! My house! Now! And bring the whip and hand cuffs.

**Wes Yang: **:) My life is awesome!

**David Thompson: **And yet you can't accept Mr. Bang-Bang's dead...

**Wes Yang: **How many times will I say...SILENCE!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson: **has just had a threesome with **Britney S. Pierce **and **Aaron Houghston**. And it was totally awe-wait for it-some! :)

**Noah Puckerman: **Glad you'd finally have a threesome, dude! Want to have a threesome with me and Rachel?

**Finn Hudson: **Sure! :)

**Carole Hudson-Hummel: **FINN CHRISTOPHER MARK HUDSON! What's this I read about you having a threesome? How long have you been sexually active?

**Finn Hudson: **Mom! How'd you get on Facebook?

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Finn Hudson: ***glares at Kurt* YOU! Kurt, I'm going to kill you!

**Blaine Anderson: **Don't!

**Carole Hudson-Hummel: **There will be no killing of brothers that's going to happen. Finn! House! Now!

**Kurt Hummel: **:P

**Finn Hudson: **Kurt, you are going to pay!

**Kurt Hummel: **This is my pay back for you teaching my father how to Facebook that led him to giving me "The Sex Talk".

**Finn Hudson: **But she's going to kill me.

**Kurt Hummel: **Don't let her near dad's shot gun.

**Finn Hudson: ***looks at the heavens* Grilled Cheesus! Help me!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson: **is grounded for three months. This sucks.

**Kurt Hummel: **At least she didn't find dad's shot gun. You're lucky I hid the shot gun.

**Finn Hudson: **Thanks man...but I'm still going to kill you...

**Kurt Hummel: **I know where dad's shot gun is so...you can't kill me...I kill you...

**Finn Hudson: **Damn Grilled Cheesus... I hate you!

**Kurt Hummel: **You love me!

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes I do.

**Kurt Hummel: **What?

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O I mean, I love that...you torture you're brother...endlessly...

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh...

**Wes Yang: **Idiot! Mr. Bang-Bang! Save us from this idiot hobbit!

**David Thompson: **HE IS GONE! WESLEY! 

**Wes Yang: **SILENCE YOU FOOL! HE WILL RISE AGAIN! I SWEAR IT!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Burt Hummel **to **Carole Hudson-Hummel: **We are such awesome parents!

**Carole Hudson-Hummel:** Totally

************Facebook Addicts************

**Quinn Fabray: **has anyone seen Coach Sylvester?

**Will Schuester: **I haven't seen her for a week now.

**Kurt Hummel: **Probably because you ridiculed her hair.

**Will Schuester: **SHE always ridicules mine!

**Quinn Fabray: **Because she's jealous of your hair, Mr. Schue.

**Will Schuester: **O_Oare you kidding me? Sue hates my hair!

**Kurt Hummel: **She's jealous of it. It's because her hair is ruined by various chemicals when she was a kid.

**Will Schuester: **How do you even know this?

**Quinn Fabray: **Every Cheerio knows this. She never EVER wants us to talk about her hair or hair in general.

**Will Schuester: **Why did no one told me about this?

**Kurt Hummel: **You never ask

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Will Schuester **to **Sue Sylvester: **Sue, I'm so sorry!

**Sue Sylvester: **Get away from my wall, love child of an ugly haired hobbit and Satan.

**Will Schuester: **I'm sorry that I ridiculed your hair. My anger got the worst in me.

**Sue Sylvester: **Leave my wall this INSTANT, son of Satan! Or I'll hack you're Facebook page and post naked pictures of men on it!

**Will Schuester: ***facepalm* I'll let you shave my hair off...

**Sue Sylvester: **O_O ...really?

**Will Schuester: **If that will make you forgive me for being a douchebag...then be my guest.

**Will Schuester: **Sue?

**After Five Minutes**

**Will Schuster: **Sue? Please reply to me.

**Will Schuester: **What the hell?

**Will Schuester: **Sue? How the hell did you get inside my apartment?

**Sue Sylvester: **I tore down your door with my bare hands.

**Will Schuester: **You're insane!

_Sue Sylvester via Blackberry_

**Sue Sylvester: **And you're half-bald! Success! Only half of the people will kill us all! Unless you let me shave off the rest of that ridiculous hair of yours.

**Will Schuester: **It was a mistake that I even said yes to that. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY APARTMENT!

**Sue Sylvester: **has won yet again a fight against Butt Chin! *insert evil laugh*

**Sue Sylvester:**Vote For Sue Sylvester! Or I'll find you and end all of your pathetic lives!

**Sue Sylvester: **Have a nice day, you buffoons in Facebook!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: And another chapter is done yet again. So? What do you think? Tell me in the reviews!**

**Dominic is not in this chapter but will be specially featured in the next chapter. It will be his last chapter so...say good bye to Dominic soon.**

**Will vs. Sue: My favorite part. Can I just say I love their frienemy relationship? And yes, Will is half-bald because of Sue. And yes, Sue WILL be running for President. Will you vote for her? If you are, then I suggest you see a psychiatrist because you might be suffering from insanity.**

**Braron: Who do you want Britney to be with? Finn or Aaron? Or maybe you want her to be with Lord Tubbington? If you want her and Lord Tubbington, I also suggest you see a psychiatrist because that is just insane and plus, what about Lady Tubbington?**

**"I Just Had Sex": That song is stuck in my head so I didn't have a choice not feature it in this chapter. Blame my friends for sticking that song in my head.**

**Favorite Part: Will vs. Sue and the Hudmel parents popping out. I love Burt and Carole!**

**Favorite Quote and Quoter: One Sue Sylvester: **" No, what's wrong is that people can live everyday around you and not knowing that any minute, little people will jump off from that horrible thing on top of your head and cause havoc in their lives, those making the world end." **She is definitely insane and I love her for that!**

**Thanks again for the reviews, alerts, and favorites! Also the likers of the two Facebook pages: ****Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang**** and ****Penguin, the new Sex Symbol****!**

**Commercial:**

**Will Mr. Schue grow his hair back? Will Rachel take Santana's crown? Will Britney and Aaron have more "tongue dance" together? Will Lord and Lady Tubbington make cat babies together? Will Sue win the election? Tune in next time for another chapter of Gleek Facebook!**

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!**


	11. Cousin Dominic's Proposal and Redvines

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Oh my Wizard God, Darren Criss, and Mr. Bang-Bang! 200 Reviews! OH MY GOD! *faints from total joy* 200 Reviews and 21,000 hits! I'm the luckiest girl in the world! Thanks you guys! All of you! You all get a cyber hug from ME! **

**Hoping for 300 Reviews! *cross fingers***

**All of your questions of Dominic Sayver is going to be answered by just with the title! In a matter of minutes of reading. Enjoy my readers! Drama and Humor awaits!**

**Warning: Rated T/M for foul language**

**Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to my 200th Reviewer: ****MiSa-sama-MiSa-chan****. **

**I also dedicate this chapter to ****McKensey Mast**** and **** Kurt Freaking Hummel**** in Facebook! I loved our insane conversations on ****Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang Page! ****You make my day!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Facebook or anything. I do own some Redvines so...beat that! :P**

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Eleven:**

**Cousin Dominic's Proposal and Redvines**

**Blaine Anderson: **is sick and is not going to be able to attend **Dominic's Serenation feat. the Warblers **

**David Thompson: **Are you sure you're sick? Or sick and tired of hearing the name Dominic and Kurt in one sentence?

**Blaine Anderson: **Both

**David Thompson: **Bullshit! I saw you two hours ago dancing in your dorm room to "Teenage Dream." And then suddenly, you get sick? Are you kidding me?

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't want to help *insert disgust in saying name* Dominic serenade Kurt.

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* Kurt's helping Dominic in practicing. How the hell would Dominic be singing to Kurt if Kurt's the one who's helping him?

**Blaine Anderson: **You have point but Kurt still hasn't told us what Dominic and he are.

**David Thompson: **You have nothing to worry about, Anderson. Dominic and Kurt are not together.

**Blaine Anderson: ***suspicious look* how'd you know?

**David Thompson: **because I'm smart and not stupid like you.

**Blaine Anderson: **David, no matter how many times you say it. I will never EVER believe that you're smart.

**David Thompson: **And no matter how many times you tell me that Katy Perry has an amazing voice. I will always think that the only thing amazing about her is her big boobies. :)

**Blaine Anderson: **you are disgusting PORN ADDICT!

**David Thompson: **I'M NOT A PORN ADDICT!And you are pathetic to be so jealous with Dominic. No wonder Kurt likes him. He's not obsessed with Katy Perry or has weird hair like you do.

**Blaine Anderson: **is going to kill **David Thompson**

**David Thompson: **is running for his life from the jealous and idiot hobbit.

**Wes Yang: ***sigh* where is Mr. Bang-Bang when you need him.

**Thad Stevens: **Dead...

**Wes Yang: **SILENCE! You imbecile!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jeff Jefferson **to **Nick Connors: **Do you have Redvines?

**Nick Connors: **What are Redvines?

**Jeff Jefferson: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday*

**Trent Nicholson: ***looks like Garfield on Monday and Friday*

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks like Garfield on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday*

**Kurt Hummel: **Somewhere in the far state of California, Darren Criss is weeping!

**Trent Nicholson: **Somewhere in the state of Chicago, Joey Ritcher is crying too!

**Kurt Hummel: **I hate you **Nick Connors **for making Darren and Joey cry! You will pay! PAY I TELL YOU! ALL STARKIDS WILL RALLY TOGETHER AND BURN YOU!

**Nick Connors: **What did I do?

**Trent Nicholson: **You seriously have no idea what Redvines are?

**Nick Connors: **...vines that are color red?

**Trent Nicholson: ***face-for the love of Joey Ritcher-palm*

**Jeff Jefferson: **BURN THE CLUELESS ONE!

**David Thompson: **That would be Blaine back in Valentine's Day.

**Blaine Anderson: **Where are you, David? Tell me so I can kill you, you PORN ADDICT!

**Wes Yang: **Dalton's roof top.

**Blaine Anderson: **Thank you, Wesley!

**David Thompson: ***glares at Wes* you're going to pay for that!

**Wes Yang: **:P

**Jeff Jefferson: **Nick, you seriously have no idea what Redvines are?

**Nick Connors: **You guys shouldn't make a big deal about me having no idea what those are.

**Kurt Hummel: **I just found out Darren Criss IS weeping in his apartment in California.

**Trent Nicholson: **How do you even know that?

**Kurt Hummel: **Duh! www. watchDarrenCrisslive24/7 .com! Every Darren Criss fan knows that and watches there!

**Trent Nicholson: ***face-for the love of Darren Criss-palm and shakes head from disbelief*

**Wes Yang:** Isn't that like...stalking?

**Kurt Hummel: **No, It's just watching everything he does 24/7. Definitely NOT stalking.

**Wes Yang: **Even when he's in the shower?

**Trent Nicholson: **Are you straight, Wes? Or as straight as a Redvine?

**Kurt Hummel: **That can only be accessed every Wednesday at 7:45am.

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* and you say I'm obsessed with my gavel.

**Kurt Hummel: **At least I love something that's still alive and not dead! :)

**Wes Yang: **SILENCE! YOU STALKING FOOL!

**Kurt Hummel: **I'M NOT STALKING DARREN CRISS!

**Wes Yang: **Right...I believe you as much as I believe that Justin Bieber is straight.

**Nick Connors: **BURN THE UNBIELIEVER!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Thad Stevens **to **Jordan McClaine: **Jordan! Would you please remove all of your used condoms off my bed!

**Jordan McClaine: **How did those get there?

**Thad Stevens: **I just went home one night and the day I come back to Dalton, there are like ten used condoms all over my bed!

**Jordan McClaine: ***snaps fingers in remembering* oh yeah, me and the girls from Crawford Day had an Orgy Party. You should have been there, man, it was totally awesome. Especially with the girls wearing House Bunny costumes.

**Thad Stevens: **O_OYOU HAD AN ORGY PARTY ON MY BED!

**Jordan McClaine: **You're bed is closer to the door than mine.

**Thad Stevens: **JORDAN! YOU FUCKING SEX ADDICT!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm not ashamed that I'm a sex addict.

**Thad Stevens: **REPLACE MY BED AT ONCE!

**Jordan McClaine: **Want my bed?

**Thad Stevens: **ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? A BED THAT YOU'RE FUCKING PENIS HAS BEEN HUMPING OVER FOR THREE YEARS NOW? NO! FUCK NO!

**Jordan McClaine: **You know you could just tell me no instead hurting my feelings.

**Thad Stevens: **DO NOT CARE! GO FUCK SOMEONE!

**Jordan McClaine: **I WILL! *calls all of his sexmates*

**Thad Stevens: **I will pay $2000 bucks just for someone to switch rooms with me! Anyone! I don't care who you are! Just switch with me!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver:**

Kurt, what do you think of this? "The first time my eyes laid upon that angelic face of yours, I knew I have never seen a more beautiful face before that made my heart stop beating and took my breath away. I thought of calling God and telling him that one of his angels from heaven has fallen and I think I was falling in love with that angel with just one look at her."

**Kurt Hummel: **

Was it from the heart?

**Dominic Sayver:**

Yeah, I was staring at Marian's picture while writing my speech.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I think it's beautiful though it shows that you are a hopeless romantic and kind of cheesy.

**Dominic Sayver: **

Being cheesy is not bad. Being romantic in a hopeless kind of way is also not bad. What's bad is someone who's not loved. That sucks.

**Kurt Hummel:**

:) I'm so happy for you. This is a huge step.

**Dominic Sayver:**

I know. And I'm afraid she would say no in front of me, you, and you're friends.

**Kurt Hummel:**

No she won't, because you will be very dashing on Saturday. That being said by your fashion designer.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Kurt, I have no idea how to thank you. If you haven't helped me realize that only Marian's the one I need in my life, I would have lost her. I think I'm losing her already.

**Kurt Hummel:**

That is because you're a workaholic lawyer, can't make time for her, and yet you can make time for me.

**Dominic Sayver:**

I can always make time for you, Little Kurtie. You're my favorite cousin!

**Kurt Hummel: **

Yeah but you need to make time for the people you love or you'll lose them someday.

**Dominic Sayver:**

I know and I promised you I'll make an effort with balancing my work and personal life.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Don't promise me you'll do it. Just do it!

**Dominic Sayver:**

You're right. You're absolutely right.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Of course I am. BTW, Dom can you come to our last Warbler meeting before your proposal? I think everyone is dying to meet you.

**Dominic Sayver:**

And by dying...you mean...dying of jealousy? That dapper boy you have a major crush on?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I don't have a crush on him...I'm in love with him. He's jealous of you.

**Dominic Sawyer: **

How can he be jealous of me? We're cousins. That's not legal.

**Kurt Hummel: **

I know. I think he's insane again but I still love him.

**Dominic Sayver:**

And you say he's in love with you too. Why aren't you two together?

**Kurt Hummel:**

He hasn't told me he loves me...well...he did told me that he loves me...as a friend...

**Dominic Sayver:**

Sounds to me he's just afraid. Afraid that maybe you don't like him.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Which is impossible since it's hard not to like him. He's got this amazing smile and one look with his hazel eyes and you'll lose yourself inside them. He can make anyone fall for him in a heartbeat.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Give the boy some time. I think he just want to say it but something's pulling him back.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I can't wait forever, Dom. If he doesn't like me the way I like him, then fine. But he needs to just tell me that.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Patience is a virtue, Little Kurtie. Look at me I've been planning this proposal for weeks now. But I can just ask her without preparing. But I don't want to just ask her because I want this moment to be special.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I don't need it to be special. I just want him, in person, to tell me that he loves me. Is that too hard?

**Dominic Sayver:**

Saying those three words is one of the hardest things to say because those three words are very powerful words and has the hugest effects on people. Saying "I love you" is not just saying them, but you're telling that person that he/she has a special part in your heart that makes them different from other people. Saying "I love you" is a huge step in a relationship because you went farther than you both expected, that you just wanted a relationship with someone but it went farther to the point your feelings started to change. Saying "I love you" can both be good and bad to the person you're telling it too. It's good because you're being honest with the person and you're giving yourself away by letting someone know you're feelings, risking the pain you might feel if said feelings are not reciprocated. It's bad because some people say those words like it's just useless crap that we throw in the garbage. Those kinds of people say those words a lot and make people believe in them and then sometime after saying those words, the people who believed in the people that said "I love you" to them will find out that they were just fooled. Used. Manipulated. And that's where heartbreak happens. No one should experience heartbreak, it's one suckiest feelings in the world. It makes you feel useless, unwanted, stupid to believe that you can be loved by someone, like your world has fallen apart, like you can't stand up anymore, and all the other feelings that would lead you to depression. And the only cure for heartbreak is either accepting that you made a mistake to love him, love yourself more, or find someone who can love for who you are. My point is, Kurt. Saying those three words takes time and all of a person's dignity and strength. I understand why Blaine won't just say it. Even you, Kurt, you don't want to say it because you might get heartbroken if Blaine doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Wow...how many times have you been heartbroken?

**Dominic Sayver:**

Many times but I learned from each and every one of them. That's where my wisdom came from.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Marian Kennedy is one lucky bitch...

**Dominic Sayver:**

Little Kurtie, how many times have I told you to stop calling her that?

**Kurt Hummel:**

How long have you two been dating? But I like Marian. She's pretty, nice, loves the environment, a huge activist, and is not a homophobe.

**Dominic Sayver: **

Yeah, she's totally awesome.

**Kurt Hummel:**

BTW Dom, can you come to our Warblers' meeting? Even though it's going to be on Facebook...

**Dominic Sayver:**

Why are you having a meeting on Facebook if you guys are all together in one room?

**Kurt Hummel:**

DUH! Because Facebook is awesome!

**Dominic Sayver:**

:) Sounds reasonable to me. Sure, I'll go! See you then, Little Kurtie!

**Kurt Hummel:**

See you, Dom!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Via Facebook Mobile**

**David Thompson: **Somebody! Help me! The Jealous Hobbit is killing me!

**Kurt Hummel: **How can you type while Blaine has you in a head lock at the roof top?

**David Thompson: **I'm just that awesome ;)

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes*

**David Thompson: **Wait a minute...how do you even know that Blaine's head locking me? We're all alone right now.

**Kurt Hummel: **Look at the person who's leaning against the exit.

**David Thompson: ***looks and sees Kurt smirking* how long have you been there?

**Kurt Hummel: **Pretty long enough...

**David Thompson: **and why haven't you saved me from Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm enjoying the show...

**David Thompson: **two words...fuck you!

**Kurt Hummel: **And just for that, I'm taking a picture of you being tortured by Blaine. *takes picture*

**David Thompson: **You two are very mean! No wonder you're in love with each other.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yup, this picture is definitely going on Facebook.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Via Facebook Mobile **

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay, before we start this meeting. Dom, let me introduce to you...the Warblers or at least the insane people in the Warblers.

**Dominic Sayver: **Cool :) Wait...insane?

**Kurt Hummel: ***points to Blaine* That is Blaine Anderson aka the Katy Perry addict and the lead soloist of the Warblers

**David Thompson: **Not to mention also known as the jealous hobbit of the Warblers.

**Blaine Anderson: ***takes Kurt's disco stick and hits David again*

**Dominic Sayver: **Nice to finally meet you, Blaine. :)

**Blaine Anderson: **It's not nice to meet you too. :)

**Dominic Sayver: **?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*Moving on. The Warbler Blaine hit is David Thompson aka the Porn Addict and the secretary of the Warblers.

**David Thompson: **How many times will I be repeating that I' AM NOT A PORN ADDICT!

**Dominic Sayver: **Don't worry, David, all men go through that phase where they can't help but watch porn. I understand you. Porn is awesome! Awesome is Porn!

**David Thompson: **O_O you watch porn?

**Dominic Sayver: **Of course, when you're curious you can't help it. You're a virgin aren't you?

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Thad Stevens: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Aaron Houghston: **What's with the owl eyes?

**Kurt Hummel: **Dom, he is a virgin. Mercedes said they haven't done the nasty yet.

**David Thompson: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* How can Tater Tots tell you something THAT personal?

**Jordan McClaine: **I feel so sorry for you dude. I thought you weren't a virgin anymore. I'm so so sorry.

**Dominic Sayver: **Uh...can people date food? :(

**Kurt Hummel: ***face freaking palm* Dom, Tater Tots is Mercedes. You know my girl best friend.

**Dominic Sayver: **Oh...David's weird to call her that.

**Wes Yang **and **3,242,353 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **He is weird.

**David Thompson: ***hits Wes with disco stick*

**Wes Yang: **HEY! Only Mr. Bang-Bang can hit me!

**Kurt Hummel: ***points to Jeff* Dom, that one who's eating the bucket of Chicken legs is Jeff Jefferson aka the food obsessed Warbler.

**Dominic Sayver: **I'm hungry. Can I have some of those legs?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Over my endless-food-contained body! I rather die than share my food!

**Nick Connors: **Isn't Jeff dreamy? *sighs dreamily*

**Trent Nicholson: ***face-for-the-love-of-AVPM-palm* Yyu guys already know what I'll be saying.

**Kurt Hummel: ***points to Nick* That is Nick Connors aka the Justin Bieber obsessed Warbler.

**Dominic Sayver: **Ew...Justin Bieber *makes face*

**Nick Connors: **I hate you already.

**Blaine Anderson: **Count me too.

**David Thompson: **That makes us three.

**Kurt Hummel: ***ignores the three hobbits and points to Trent* That is Trent Nicholson, my brister and a Joey Ritcher obsessed.

**Dominic Sayver: **Joey Ritcher? The boy who played Ron Weasley in AVPM and AVPS? The musicals you're addicted with?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, it's him.

**Dominic Sayver: **Cool! He's amazing!

**Trent Nicholson: **I like you already Dominic! :)

**Dominic Sayver: **Uh...btw what's a brister?

**Trent Nicholson: **Kurt and I are gay. We are men so we're brothers but we're gay so that also technically makes us girls or sisters. So that makes us bristers.

**Dominic Sayver: **Oh...nice...that's nice that Little Kurtie has a friend like you.

**Kurt Hummel: ***points to Thad* That is Thad Stevens, the most sane Warbler in the Warblers and the Vice President of the Warblers.

**Dominic Sayver: **Define "sane"?

**Thad Stevens: **I don't have any drama in my life besides Jordan and his sex life.

**Dominic Sayver: **Wait...you're gay?

**Thad Stevens: **HELL NO! That's why I don't have any drama in my life unlike the stupid twin hobbits, the straight-but-gay-for-each-other hobbits, the bizarre-and-insane-love-square hobbits, the moronic-and-I-have-no-idea-how-he-graduated-elementary hobbit and the endless-sex addict hobbit.

**Dominic Sayver: **You guys call each other hobbits?

**Kurt Hummel: **It's an all boys school. Of course hobbits will be a nickname.

**Dominic Sayver: **Oh...

**Kurt Hummel: **On to the Sex Addict of the Warblers. *points at Jordan* he's name is Jordan McClaine.

**Dominic Sayver: **Sex Addict? Wow. Nice.

**Jordan McClaine: **So who do you screw? Chicks or dicks?

**Dominic Sayver: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **Dom, don't answer him. He has a problem that no one can solve. Jordan! Stop asking sex questions to people! It's RUDE!

**Jordan McClaine: **Like the saying goes: "Curiosity killed the cat" can't help myself asking.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Curiosity killed Charity! I'll kill Curiosity! Where does Curiosity live?

**Jordan McClaine: ***face-for the love of the sex gods-palm*

**Kurt Hummel: **Britt, Charity was killed by a car. Curiosity did not kill Charity.

**Britney S. Pierce:**But Jordan said Curious killed the cat. And Lord Tubbington is with me right now so that means Curious killed Charity because she's not here.

**Jordan McClaine: **Britney, please forget what I said. I'm starting to hate everything I say.

**Thad Stevens: **You and me both.

**Jordan McClaine: **I thought you hate me.

**Thad Stevens: **I do. I do hate you. I just agree with you.

**Jordan McClaine: **I need this meeting to end soon. I need sex.

**Thad Stevens: **No one's shock.

**Kurt Hummel: **and the last of the Warblers is Aaron Houghston. He's...special.

**Dominic Sayver: **What do you mean special?

**Aaron Houghston: **What's special? Is that like a facial by aliens in space?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm and shakes head from disbelief* see what I mean, Dom?

**Dominic Sayver: **Oh...now I get it.

**Kurt Hummel: **So that's all the Warblers.

**Wes Yang: **Hey, what about me!

**Blaine Anderson: **No one wants to know someone who can't accept the fact that his gavel is gone after how many weeks since that gavel has been buried. Also, that insane someone is leading the Warblers.

**Wes Yang: **Why are you so mean? :(

**Dominic Sayver: **Are the Warblers always likes these?

**Kurt Hummel: **More on one occasion, sadly.

**Aaron Houghston: **What's occasion?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay Warblers and Dom! Again, I'll be leading this Warblers' meeting on Facebook. Now, let's begin. *bangs disco stick*

**Dominic Sayver: **Little Kurtie? Why do you have a disco stick?

**Kurt Hummel: **You know I'm a fan of Lady Gaga, right?

**Dominic Sayver: **...now I get why I feel like singing Bad Romance.

**Aaron Houghston: **Who is Little Kurtie?

**Kurt Hummel: **That's me, Aaron. Dom is insane enough to call me that.

**Wes Yang: **Why do you call Kurt, Little Kurtie?

**Dominic Sayver: **I've known Little Kurtie since he was baby. It used to be my baby name to him but it just stuck so I still call him that.

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O DOM! I told you no telling of secrets.

**Dominic Sayver: **Opps...I forgot Little Kurtie...sorry...

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait? Why do you know Kurt when he was a baby?

**Dominic Sayver: **I used to babysit Little Kurtie when he was a baby when he's parents are busy.

**Kurt Hummel: **DOM!

**Dominic Sayver: **What? Their asking me, it's rude not to answer.

**Kurt Hummel: **This is a Warblers' meeting, not talking-about-Kurt-as-a-baby meeting.

**David Thompson: **Do you have baby pictures of Kurt?

**Dominic Sayver: **Of course I do! Little Kurtie was very photogenic when he was a baby.

**Kurt Hummel: ***hits Dom with Disco stick*

**Dominic Sayver: **Hey! Violence is never the answer!

**Britney S. Pierce: **STOP THE VIOLENCE!

**Aaron Houghston: **Britt, this is a Warblers' meeting. You can't be here.

**Britney S. Pierce: **:( I just want to say: Violence is never the answer!

**Kurt Hummel: **It's the answer right now! Stop talking about me or I'll tell!

**Dominic Sayver: **Fine, but make them stop asking me.

**David Thompson: **Can I have some of Kurt's baby pictures?

**Kurt Hummel: **Over my perfect moisturized and lean body!

**Dominic Sayver: **Little Kurtie is going to kill me with his bitch stare if I do that.

**Thad Stevens: **Even a 27 year old lawyer is scared of Kurt's bitch stare...

**Trent Nicholson:** Enough said that no one wants a bitch stare from Kurt.

**Aaron Houghston, Nick Connors, **and **464,366 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Can we please go back to the real meeting?

**Wes Yang: **proceed Little Kurtie... :)

**Kurt Hummel: ***hits Wes with disco stick*Okay, so we will be going to Dominic's house at Michigan around 6am...

**Jordan McClaine: **Michigan!

**David Thompson: **6am!

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a house? Is that like a male mouse?

**Wes Yang: ***face-for-the-love-of-Mr. Bang-Bang-palm* Kurt, why so early? And why at Dominic's house?

**Dominic Sayver: **Because that's we're you're going to sing.

**Blaine Anderson: **Why are we going to sing at Dominic's house?

**Dominic Sayver: **You'll learn on Saturday. I don't want to ruin the surprise.

**Blaine Anderson: **But Kurt hates surprises...

**Dominic Sayver: **I know, why you ask?

**David Thompson: ***cough* jealous hobbit *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: ***grabs Kurt's disco stick and hits David's head*

**David Thompson: **Ow!

**Jordan McClaine: **That disco stick is replacing Mr. Bang-Bang...

**Wes Yang: **NO ONE CAN REPLACE MR. BANG-BANG! NO ONE I SAY!

**Jordan McClaine: ***facepalm* why did I say that? Why did I inflict pain to myself?

**Dominic Sayver: **Let me guess...Wes is the gavel-obsessed Warbler...isn't he?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yup, told you he is insane.

**Wes Yang: **Where's your proof that I'm insane?

**Kurt Hummel: **I don't even need proof. One look at you and it screams INSANE.

**Blaine Anderson, Jordan McClaine, **and **543,643,643 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

**David Thompson: **:)

**Wes Yang: **I hate you, Kurt.

**Dominic Sayver: **Don't hate Kurt for being a bitch. It's his gift. But he also acts likes that because he really cares about you.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thanks...I think...

**Wes Yang: **Aww...Little Kurtie cares about me...I feel complete now...

**Kurt Hummel: **No one can call me Little Kurtie but Dom.

**Dominic Sayver: **That's my Little Kurtie!

**Blaine Anderson: **Since when is Kurt yours?

**David Thompson: ***cough* again, jealous hobbit *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **Porn Addict, do I need to remind you that Kurt gave me the pictures of us at the roof top?

**David Thompson: **Kurt, you're a bitch!

**Kurt Hummel: **I take that as a compliment. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Dom is going to sing most of the song. We're just going to dance and sing harmonies at the background like with Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Are you insulting me?

**Kurt Hummel: **No, I just think you're an Attention Whore.

**Blaine Anderson: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday* O_O

**David Thompson: **As much as I love watching Klaine fight again, please don't start fighting. We are in a meeting, in case you haven't noticed.

**Blaine Anderson: **But he called me an Attention Whore! :(

**David Thompson: **Blaine, you can't lie you aren't.

**Blaine Anderson: **And you can't lie that you aren't a Porn Addict!

**David Thompson: **For the millionth time! I'M NOT A PORN ADDICT!

**Blaine Anderson:***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson:***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson:***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson:***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Blaine Anderson:***bitch slaps Porn Addict*

**David Thompson: ***bitch slaps Jealous Hobbit*

**Dominic Sayver: **Are your Warbler meetings usually like this?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yup. Insanity is usually the theme of our meetings.

**Dominic Sayver: **I'm jealous. This is kind of fun! More fun than suing people.

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Thad Stevens: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **Dude, are you kuku, crazy, or simply insane? You're jealous that we're insane?

**Dominic Sayver: **I think the Warblers are fun. And though you guys are a crazy family, you guys care for each other even though you constantly ridicule each other.

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, I think you need to bring Dominic to a doctor. He wants to be insane like us. Who wants to be like us?

**Kurt Hummel: **My sentiments exactly. Meeting adjourned! I need to bring Dom to a doctor before he gets the Warbler disease... *bangs disco stick*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Nick Connors: **Why is Jeff not talking to me?

**Trent Nicholson: ***cough* that fuck again *cough*maybe because you have no idea what Redvines are.

**Nick Connors: **Can you tell me, Trent?

**Trent Nicholson: **No! Everyone should know what Redvines are. They are the MOST AMAZING thing in the world. It's more amazing than air and water and Joey Ritcher! Well...maybe not Joey Ritcher...you know what I mean...

**Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, **and **999,999,999 **others likes this

**Nick Connors: ***insert puppy eyes* Please? I'll love you forever.

**Trent Nicholson: ***cough* why can't you without me telling you about the Redvines? *cough* Fine, I'll tell you.

**Nick Connors: **Thanks Trent! So what are they?

**Trent Nicholson: **Redvines is a brand of candy manufactured in Union City, California by the American Licorice Company. Red Vines Original Red twists, sometimes known as 'red licorice', resemble American black licorice except that they are alizarin and do not have flavor extracted from the roots of the liquorice plant. The original Red Vines were raspberry-flavored, but in 1952, with a slight formula change, the Red Vines Original Red Twist flavor was introduced.

**Nick Connors: ***facepalm* you did not just copy that on Wikipedia.

**Trent Nicholson: **:)

**Nick Connors: ***face-for-the-love-of-Justin-Bieber-palm* Can you give me the summary? Because Wikipedia explains too much and it gives me headaches.

**Trent Nicholson: **Redvines are a brand of licorice.

**Nick Connors: **That's it? What makes them so special? There just a brand of licorice...

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks like Garfield on a Monday*

**Jeff Jefferson: ***looks like Garfield on any day especially Monday*

**Jordan McClaine: **just wants to kick Nick's ass.

**Kurt Hummel, Jeff Jefferson, **and **9**,**999,999,999 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **BURN THE REDVINES HATER!

**Jeff Jefferson: **BURN NICK!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'll get the matches!

**Kurt Hummel: **I'll get the firewood!

**Jeff Jefferson: **I'll get the garbage bags to hide Nick's dead body and we shall throw it to a mob of Starkids!

**Nick Connors: **O_O *facepalm* who the hell plans to kill someone on Facebook? Stupid!

**Trent Nicholson: **WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP PLANNING TO KILL N!

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert whining tone*But somewhere in San Francisco, California. Darren Criss is weeping again! I'm watching that live now!

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* he must be practicing or acting. It's impossible for him to cry because N doesn't care about Redvines. He doesn't even know N!

**Kurt Hummel: **Still! Nick is insulting the good name of Redvines! AND NO ONE INSULTS REDVINES! NO ONE!

**Jeff Jefferson: **And Redvines give me life! Without Redvines I have no life!

**Jordan McClaine: **Amen! My Redvinebrother!

**Trent Nicholson: **Still! I agree that I can't live without Redvines! But N is our friend and we should respect what he thinks even if it hurts us.

**Kurt Hummel: **But Darren Criss is weeping! :(

**Trent Nicholson: **Brister, please stop you're addiction with Darren Criss. Seriously, it's starting to get annoying.

**Kurt Hummel: **:( And I thought we were bristers. We have each other's back! *walks out dramatically carrying the firewood*

**Jeff Jefferson: **Well, since Kurt's not going to help and I'm hungry for some Redvines...I'm off. *walks out with the garbage bags*

**Jordan McClaine: **I need to get laid because I'm so frustrated with Nick's lack of knowledge of the best things in the world besides condoms and sex. I'm off to get laid. *walks out with matches*

**Nick Connors: **I can't believe they hate me because I hate a brand of licorice. What is so good about them anyway?

**Trent Nicholson: **Darren Criss and Joey Ritcher sort of advertised Redvines when they acted at AVPM and AVPS. Since K loves Darren and I love Joey, we both love Redvines. JJ loves them because Redvines is his favorite candy. And JM loves them because he has some sort of history with Redvines that I have no idea whatsoever about.

**Nick Connors: **Oh...you guys need to get a life.

**Trent Nicholson: **So do you with Justin Bieber...

**Nick Connors: **BURN THE UNBIELIEVER!

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* we all need to get a life.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Nick Connors **to **Trent Nicholson: **Trent, I didn't get to thank you for not hating me because of my lack of knowledge of Redvines. When in doubt, you're my only friend.

**Trent Nicholson: **Anytime, N. You know I always have your back! I care about you!

**Nick Connors: **Thanks!

**Blaine Anderson: **Trent, now's you're moment. Tell him!

**Nick Connors: **Tell me what?

**Trent Nicholson: **N, I've been meaning to tell you something. Something that has been in my mind for months now.

**Nick Connors: **Okay...what's it about?

**Blaine Anderson: **Go for it, Trent! Prepare for some gay babies!

**Nick Connors: **What are you talking about Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson: **Let Trent tell you.

**Nick Connors: **Trent, please tell me. The suspense is killing me.

**Trent Nicholson: **Trent, I want to tell you that...

**Nick Connors: **Yes?

**Trent Nicholson: **...I hate Selena Gomez.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* goodbye gay babies hello headache from facepalms.

**Nick Connors: **:) Tell me about it! She's dating my man! Fuck her! I hate her. She should burn in hell.

**Trent Nicholson: **Me too.

**Blaine Anderson: **I hate you for not growing balls.

**Aaron Houghston: **Trent can grow balls? Can he grow me a basketball? :)

**Blaine Anderson: **is getting a headache from the constant facepalming.

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm again?

************Facebook Addicts************

**David Thompson **to **Thad Stevens: **Hey Thad! Is your $2000 offer still up? Cause I'd like to switch rooms with you.

**Thad Stevens: **It still up. Can I ask why you want to switch? Are you really up for Jordan and his sex adventures?

**David Thompson: **Jeff keeps stealing my huge Hershey bars and Redvines! I love my Hershey bars and Redvines! At least I can share them with Jordan. And of course I can live with Jordan's sex life. All the Warblers are used to it.

**Thad Stevens: **I'M NOT! I HATE HE HAS SEX A LOT! IT RUINS MY LIFE!

**David Thompson: **... Thaddeus? Are you gay?

**Thad Stevens: **O_O Where the hell did that questioning of sexuality came from? I'm not gay!

**David Thompson: **Of all the Warblers, it's always Jordan you're talking about.

**Thad Stevens: **How can I not talk about him? He always ruins my life with either his constant talk of sex or his constant doing sex!

**David Thompson: **Wesley always sleeps with Santana and talk about sex and yet you're never angry at Wesley.

**Thad Stevens: **...He's not having orgy parties on my bed.

**David Thompson: **True...he has orgy parties on Blaine's bed...

**Blaine Anderson: **WTKFP!

**David Thompson: **What's WTKFP?

**Blaine Anderson: **What The Katy Fucking Perry!

**David Thompson: ***face-for-the-love-of-Tater-Tots-palm* I shouldn't have asked.

**Blaine Anderson: **Excuse me while I disinfect and burn my sheets.

**Thad Stevens: **David, let me point out VERY clearly. I AM NOT GAY! And if I 'am I'm not going to be with someone like Jordan. He is going to be the last person I'll fall for.

**David Thompson: **Right...I believe you.

**Thad Stevens: **Shut up! Virgin Dark Chocolate! :)

**David Thompson: **is going to kill Thaddeus Stevens.

**Thad Stevens: **Bring it on, VIRGIN! Bring it on! Virgin Bitch!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver:**

I don't think I'm ready. I'm 27 years old. I'm too young to propose.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're more than ready, Dom. And 27 is very old.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Hey! I'm not THAT old!

**Kurt Hummel: **

Which proves the point that you are very ready. DON'T get cold feet, Dom. You and Marian are perfect for each other!

**Dominic Sayver:**

I'm just getting nervous. What if my singing voice is not that awesome?

**Kurt Hummel: **

Dom, the Warblers have your back. We might be insane and have dramatic lives but we are very supermegafoxyawesomehot singers.

**Dominic Sayver: **

You're right. I should stop worrying. I'm getting engage to woman I'm in love with.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*sighs* at least your love life has progress.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Yours too. Blaine is definitely jealous of me. That means he cares for you deeply.

**Kurt Hummel:**

:) yeah, jealous Blaine does kind of make me happy. But I want to tell me already.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Maybe you should tell him.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You know what I will. I can't live everyday not knowing if Blaine really does love me.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Courage and Strength! My cousin! And soon you'll get your happy ending.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thanks Dom! :) Can't wait for Saturday

*************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson **posted the video titled **Cousin Dominic's Proposal to Marian in Michigan**

**Trent Nicholson: **I'm so happy for Dominic and Marian! Can't wait for the wedding.

**Thad Stevens: **I can't believe the Warblers helped Dominic in proposing.

**Wes Yang, David Thompson, **and **24 **others likes this

**Thad Stevens: **It was a very sweet moment.

**Jordan McClaine: **Yup! Especially after it when Dominic and Marian practically raped each other in the front yard.

**Kurt Hummel: **Jordan! I don't need mental images of my cousin!

**Wes Yang: **Why didn't you told us he was your cousin?

**Kurt Hummel: **I thought I didn't need to. Considering we look like each other. Same eyes. Same hair color. Same nose. Same toothless smile. We practically look like brothers.

**David Thompson: **Didn't notice it.

**Jeff Jefferson, Wes Yang, **and **34 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: **you know, you could have saved Blaine the trouble of being jealous by just telling him Dominic's is your cousin.

**Kurt Hummel: **Nah...that won't be fun to watch.

**Nick Connors: **What's fun to watch is Blaine's reaction when Dominic took out a box from his pocket and showed it to Kurt. Blaine thought Dominic was proposing to Kurt. He's face was so priceless! *insert hysterical laugh*

**Wes Yang, Trent Nicholson, **and **23 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **He looks like he was getting a blow job by a girl.

**Wes Yang: **He looks like he just found out Katy Perry died.

**David Thompson: **He looks like he just found out he had AIDS and he's a virgin.

**Nick Connors: **He looks like Justin Bieber raped him.

**Trent Nicholson: **That is so wrong, Nick. And besides, JB is gay. Blaine would like that.

**Nick Connors: **JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT GAY EVEN IF I WANT TO BE!

**Trent Nicholson: ***face-for-the-love-of-Redvines-palm* Blaine looked like he's going to die.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Blaine looked like he was dying of jealousy.

**Aaron Houghston: **Blaine looked like he an owl with big eyes and his mouth hanging open.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I thought Blaine was going to kill Dominic. The way he was looking at him. So freaking scary.

**Wes Yang: **So true.

**Kurt Hummel: **He's insane to get jealous in the first place.

**Trent Nicholson: **Where is Blaine?

**David Thompson: **In his dorm room. Still in shock by what happened. Lucky for me, there's a hidden video cam inside the room so him freaking out is so getting on tape.

**Wes Yang: **...David, how long was there a camera in our room?

**David Thompson: **About three weeks ago, why?

**Wes Yang: **Have you checked that camera lately?

**David Thompson: **Nope...why?

**Wes Yang: **Good don't

**David Thompson: **Wesley, what aren't you telling me?

**Wes Yang: **Santana and me...well...have been...doing...a lot...of...you know...and...that camera...of yours...might have...recorded...EVERY...doing...

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **Nice one, David! Now you have an endless supply of Wes and Santana porn to watch! I hear they use handcuffs and whip cream!

**David Thompson: **I 'AM NOT A PORN ADDICT!

**Jordan McClaine: **And I'm not a sex addict! Even though I 'am! :)

**David Thompsom: ***face-for-the-love-of-porn-palm*

**Britney S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm again?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver **to **Blaine Anderson: **Blaine, can we talk privately?

**Blaine Anderson: **Why?

**Dominic Sayver: **I just want to talk to you.

**Blaine Anderson: **Fine. PM.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver:**

Hello Blaine

**Blaine Anderson:**

Hi. Why do you want to talk to me?

**Dominic Sayver:**

Aren't you going to congratulate me? I'm engaged remember?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert sarcastic tone*where are my manners? Congratulations Dominic! Now if that is all you want to talk about. I'll see you.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Wow...you are definitely jealous.

**Blaine Anderson:**

What the hell are you talking about?

**Dominic Sayver:**

You. Jealous. Of me. And Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson:**

No I wasn't.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Blaine, I 'am a known lawyer in Michigan. One of the best lawyers even. I graduated as Valedictorian in college. I'm definitely not an idiot.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sighs in defeat* fine I was jealous okay. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in love with your cousin.

**Dominic Sayver:**

Oh...I've noticed. And he's in love with you too. The only thing I can't understand is why you two are not together.

**Blaine Anderson:**

First of all, I'm scared. I do love Kurt. I do love him. But I'm scared to fuck our friendship. Kurt is very important to me. I can't lose him. I would rather have him as my friend than not have him at all. Second of all, I made a deal with a friend of mine that I won't tell Kurt I love him until he tells the guy he's in love with that he's in love with him.

**Dominic Sayver:**

I get that your scared, Blaine. I, myself, was very scared to propose to Marian. But I still went through with it, knowing that she might yes or no. I took a chance. Blaine Anderson, you need to take a chance or this will be your biggest what if.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I said the same thing to the person I made a deal with.

**Dominic Sayver:**

I'm a lawyer so I have a lot of ideas about deals. I think that the deal you made is selfless and I think gave your friend a little pressure and courage to admit his feelings. Though I also think that it's stupid considering instead of you and Kurt being happy together. You guys are torturing each other by not telling.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know. I'm an idiot but I can't back out on the deal. I need to make Trent happy.

**Dominic Sayver:**

You know, Kurt won't wait for you forever. I'm just saying that you guys need to get together now or forever regret this.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Thanks for the advice, Dominic. And I'm sorry I hated you.

**Dominic Sayver: **

No harm done. I like you, Blaine. You make Kurt happy. But I wish you guys would stop all the drama already.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know but until Trent tells Nick he loves him. I can't tell Kurt. I'm just wishing for Kurt to just wait for me. I'll always make it up for him if he does.

**Dominic Sayver:**

*sighs and shakes head* kids these days have too much drama in their lives.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know. Drama sucks. :(

*************Facebook Addicts************

**Dominic Sayver **changed his status from **in a relationship **with **Marian Kennedy **to **engaged to Marian Kennedy **

**Kurt Hummel: **Congratulations! Dom and Marian! I'm so happy for you two!

**Marian Kennedy: **Thanks Kurt! For everything you did!

**Kurt Hummel: **You're welcome! It's about time Dom proposes.

**Marian Kennedy: **You are so right.

**Dominic Sayver: **I'm sorry Marian for not proposing soon. I promise I'll stop being a workaholic. I promise.

**Marian Kennedy: **I love you, Dominic.

**Dominic Sayver: **And I love you, Marian. Forever and ever. :)

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm so jealous! I wish I had your relationship.

**Kurt Hummel **and **34,354,643 **others likes this

**Dominic Sayver: **In time you will, Kurt. In time, you will.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Thad Stevens: **has changed dorms with **David Thompson**. Thank Grilled Cheesus...wait...where did that came from?

**David Thompson: **And I just got $2000. Tater Tots, prepare for some dates.

**Mercedes Jones **likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **is sad to see **Thad Stevens **go.

**Thad Stevens: **And why are you sad?

**Jordan McClaine: **Well...of all the Warblers, besides Kurt and Jeff, you're my closes best friend. Plus, you're the only one who can understand my sexcapedes. But I guess I went too far with the orgy parties. I'm sorry Thad.

**Thad Stevens: **... I'm your best friend?

**Jordan McClaine: **Even though you're a nerd, you're the coolest nerd I've ever met. I like you. And I'll miss you as my roommate.

**Thad Stevens: **...I'm speechless. Why didn't you tell me this while I was packing?

**Jordan McClaine: **I was buying my monthly supply of condoms.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*I'm not surprised.

**Jordan McClaine: **Can you please come back as my roommate? I promise, I'll NEVER have sex at your brand new bed again.

**Thad Stevens: **...what about David?

**Jordan McClaine: **I can blackmail him by showing Mercedes the Wes-Santana porn he owns.

**David Thompson: **I really need to record this. I'M NOT A PORN ADDICT!

**Jordan McClaine: **Shut up! Porn Addict. I'm having a conversation with my best friend!

**Thad Stevens: **:) I never had a best friend before.

**Jordan McClaine: **Well then, prepare to have the time of your life with me! First things first, do you want to have a threesome with Saucy? She's available right now.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* you know what, I'll let loose a little. Sure, count me in.

**Jordan McClaine: **:) Threesome here I come!

**Thad Stevens: **:)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Nick Connors **to **Trent Nicholson: **Jeff is still not talking to me. I think he hates me. Stupid Redvines...

**Trent Nicholson: **Is Justin Bieber and JJ the only things you'll be talking about for the rest of your life?

**Nick Connors: **Why are you angry?

**Trent Nicholson: **I'm FRUSTRATED, N! JJ hates you and yet you don't hate him and you're angry at yourself instead of angry of him for not understanding you. What the hell?

**Nick Connors: **Trent, like the saying goes. "People do crazy things when their in love." I love Jeff that I understand him and don't hate him even though he hates me. Love is about sacrifice.

**Trent Nicholson: ***sighs* JJ is one lucky bastard to be loved by you. I'm jealous.

**Nick Connors: **Don't be, you're my best friend.

**Trent Nicholson: **And will always be your best friend. *insert sad and hopeless tone*

**Nick Connors: **Trent, why are you sad? Did I do something wrong?

**Trent Nicholson: **Nothing. Hey N, do you want to watch Hercules and eat for the very first time, Redvines?

**Nick Connors: **I thought you'll never ask! Be there at 5! *signs off Facebook*

**Trent Nicholson: **will always be jealous of JJ. :(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Nick Connors: **OMJBG! Redvines taste like heaven! These are the most awesome things in the world! OMJBG!

**Kurt Hummel: **Praise Darren Criss and Grilled Cheesus!

**Trent Nicholson: **What's OMJBG?

**Nick Connors: **Oh My Justin Bieber God.

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* I shouldn't have asked.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Nick, I'm happy to tell you that Kurt, Jordan, and I will not burn you anymore since you've already taste heaven and the most supermegafoxyawesome vines in the world.

**Nick Connors: **I do think that Twizzlers are better than Redvines. Twizzlers taste like a naked Justin Bieber. :)

**Trent Nicholson: **...

**Jordan McClaine: **...

**Kurt Hummel: **...

**Jeff Jefferson: **...

**Trent Nicholson: **...N, RUN!

**Nick Connors: **Why?

**Trent Nicholson: **Never, EVER, compare Redvines to Twizzlers. That's like the worst mortal sin anyone can ever commit. All Starkids will rally!

**Kurt Hummel: **CALLING ALL STARKIDS OF THE WORLD! CALLING ALL STARKIDS OF THE WORLD! PLEASE GO TO DALTON ACADEMY; WESTERVILLE, OHIO! SOMEONE HAS JUST INSULTED THE GOOD NAME OF REDVINES BY COMPARING IT TO TWIZZLERS! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! THE REDVINE INSULTER IS NAMED NICHOLAS CONNORS! COME AND JOIN WITH **Jordan McClaine **and **Jeff Jefferson **and ME IN BURNING HIM! :)

**Jordan McClaine, Jeff Jefferson, **and **4,329,574,653,767,576 **others likes this

**Trent Nicholson: **And that's how many Starkids in the world that will kill you, N! I warned you already...RUN YOU JUSTIN BIEBER ADDICT!

**Nick Connors: **is running for his life from all the Starkids!

**Kurt Hummel: **Avenge Darren Criss and Joey Ritcher's tears! Avenge I say!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: This has got to be the longest chapter in this story to date. Oh my Darren Criss. 7,900 words. I'm speechless. Wow. **

**Also, I'm very evil to end the chapter without telling something about Klaine. *Insert evil smile*. I'll try to delay Klaine as much as I can. Kurt's still trying to get the courage to tell Blaine himself. While Blaine is stupid enough to make a deal with Trent. We'll see how Klaine goes. KLAINE IS ENDGAME PEOPLE!**

**Goodbye Cousin Dominic Sayver! A lot of you guessed Dominic that easy. Although some gave up trying to figure out who he is and just told me to kill him. That's sad. Poor Dominic. Anyway, be happy for Dominic. He's getting married to Marian so...we won't see in The World of Gleek Facebook for a long time. :)**

**MY FAVORITE PART: Warblers' meeting. I think I'll always make them have a Facebook meeting. It's so much fun!**

**MY FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER: Kurt Hummel: **"Somewhere in the far state of California, Darren Criss is weeping!" **In case that quote is familiar, I took that quote from One Sue Sylvester. :)**

**Two things I want you all to do that will make me happy: **

**Review and tell me your favorite part or quote/quoter**

**And answer this question: Do you want Thad/Jordan to happen? Please answer this because I need to know for future chapters.**

**Thanks again for everyone! My faithful readers. The reviewers. The alerters. And the 74 people on Facebook that likes and comments on everything I put up there. You people are amazing!**

**Commercial:**

_**Is Thad really STRAIGHT? Or will he go gay for the Sex Addict? Will Wes move on from his beloved Mr. Bang-Bang? Will David admit he really is a CERTIFIED PORN ADDICT? Will Jeff stop eating? Will Blaine stop being so stupid and just tell Kurt he loves him already before we kill him ourselves or torture him by kidnapping Katy Perry and ask for ransom? Will Nick live to see another day or will Kurt's Starkid rally finally kill him? Will Justin Bieber finally admit he's gay? **_

_**Look ahead to more Warbler drama. Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook! **_

_**Voldemort and Darren Criss OUT! Bitches! :)**_

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! :)**

************Facebook Addicts************


	12. Single Ladies, TGIF & Hottest ND Chick

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: I'm back my Gleek Facebook Addicts! Sorry for the late upload. I had a busy busy week since school is happening to me. **

**Oh My Naked Darren Criss! 262 reviews! What the Naked Darren Criss! Last chapter was just 204 and then 262! I must be dreaming or all of you are so TOTALLY AWESOME! You make a fan girl cry of joy!**

**And the reviews! Are ama-wait for it-ZING! All of you want Jorthad to happen! So, try and look for Jorthad happening in this chapter! Also, I love the ideas you give me of what to do here! Keep them coming! If you want Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook to never end, give me some ideas or topics the chapter can revolve on.**

**For example: A Naked Justin Bieber! Who wants that? Not me! I don't like Justin Bieber but I love his music. For those who like JB, please just respect my opinion and not give me flames or hate reviews! **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**There is comedy...but also angst at the end...**

**Warning: Rated M for multiple use of bad words**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Facebook or Glee or any of its characters! If I do, everything that happens here happens on the show. And what happens on Facebook stays on Facebook. ;)**

**Also, DARREN CRISS IS MINE! **

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Twelve:**

**Single Ladies, TGIF, and Hottest ND Bitch**

**Mike Chang: **has anyone seen Asian babe?

**Wes Yang: **who's Asian babe?

**Mike Chang: **My girlfriend, **Tina Cohen-Chang**

**Wes Yang: **Oh...I thought you were talking about me and gone gay for me.

**Mike Chang: **O_O *facepalm* Why would I be talking about you? Why would I go gay for you? I haven't even met you yet.

**Wes Yang: **:) Well, I 'am a babe and one smokin' hot Asian.

**Blaine Anderson: **My friggin' turn bitches! ^dislike because it's so unbelievable^

**Mercedes Jones, Jordan McClaine, **and **9,841,675 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Hey! That's my line! Don't steal it, you idiot hobbit! Plus, DON'T you dare lie that you never once found me attractive!

**Blaine Anderson: **Again, you will NEVER be me my type even if one million years pass! :P

**Aaron Houghston: **you can count to a million? I can't even count to teen...

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: **I disagree with stupid hobbit. Wesley is hot.

**Thad Stevens: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Mercedes Jones: **Are you going gay again, Dark Chocolate? Because I think it's kind of hot. Rrrowrrrr!

**Aaron Houghston: **So, are you a dolphin now?

**Wes Yang: **At least David is a good observer...

**Blaine Anderson: **David, are you sure you're straight? Because my gaydar is going bezurk with you.

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* correction to what I said: Wesley is hot...in a girl's point of view.

**Blaine Anderson: **Right...I believe you as much as I believe Justin Bieber is straight.

**Nick Connors: **If he was gay, I would totally rape him on stage.

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* why is every Warbler have an obsession with something?

**Jordan McClaine: **because obsessions are AWESOME!

**Mike Chang: **has anyone seen my Asian girlfriend?

**Blaine Anderson: **Sorry Asian dude, I haven't.

**Wes Yang: **When was the last time you saw her?

**Mike Chang: **I think she was at the mall with Kurt.

**David Thompson: **maybe Kurt turned straight because he's so tired of waiting for stupid hobbit and eloped with your girlfriend.

**Mike Chang: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: ***hits David with Kurt's disco stick*

**David Thompson: **Fuck man! That hurt!

**Blaine Anderson: **Not my type...

**Wes Yang: **Why do you have that?

**Blaine Anderson: **borrowed it from Kurt so that I could hit David with something.

**David Thompson: **I'm starting to hate that disco stick as much as I hate Mr. Bang-Bang. :(

**Wes Yang:** Nothing can replace Mr. Bang-Bang

**Blaine Anderson: **looks like Kurt's disco stick is replacing him.

**Wes Yang: ***takes Kurt's disco stick and breaks it*

**David Thompson: **O_O I don't know if I should be happy or terrified for Wes?

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, you do know Kurt's going to kill you right?

**Wes Yang: **Worth it to save Mr. Bang-Bang's title for torturing the Warblers.

**David Thompson: ***face-for-the-love-of-Grilled-Cheesus-what-the-hell-is-that-palm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson: **has anyone seen **Britney S. Pierce**?

**Santana Lopez: **did you check under your bed?

**Finn Hudson: **...no I haven't. *goes to check under his bed*

**Santana Lopez: **...fucking retard... :)

*************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson: **did not see my girlfriend under my bed.

**Noah Puckerman: **did you check your underwear drawer?

**Finn Hudson: **...good idea man! *checks drawer*

**Noah Puckerman: **...moronic idiot...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson: **Britt is also not inside my underwear drawer.

**Santana Lopez: **how about your dark and scary closet?

**Finn Hudson: **I don't want to check that!

**Santana Lopez: **Why not?

**Finn Hudson: **DUH!It's scary!

**Santana Lopez: **I thought you love Britt?

**Finn Hudson: **fine...but if I die. Tell Britney I love her.

**Santana Lopez: ***rolls eyes*...sure

**Finn Hudson: ***goes to super scary closet*

**Santana Lopez: **...brainless fool...

************Facebook Addicts*************

**Finn Hudson: **AHHHHH! *insert girlish scream here*

**Noah Puckerman: **What happened man? Did you get your penis stuck in the zipper again?

**Finn Hudson: **THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME! NO!...I went inside my scary closet to find Britt and she wasn't there...only the monster called Darkness.

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm* you're still afraid of the dark?

**Finn Hudson: **can't help it man. Darkness is bad.

**Noah Puckerman: ***facepalm* did you check your condom drawer?

**Finn Hudson: **good idea! *goes to condom drawer*

**Noah Puckerman: **...more stupid than Lord Tubbington...

**Lord Tubbington: **MEOW!

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O Sorry Lord Tubbington! :(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Santana Lopez **to **Noah Puckerman: **Since when do you talk Catanese?

**Noah Puckerman: **Britney taught me. She said I'll need it more than Math and English.

**Santana Lopez: ***bitch facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Finn Hudson: **also did not found my girlfriend inside my condom drawer. Though I found out I need to restock on my condoms.

**Rachel Berry: **Finn, you do know Santana and Noah are playing with you right?

**Finn Hudson: ***rolls eyes* FYI Rach, I'm not a toy! I'm a human being! Geez...I thought you were smart.

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm and shakes head in disbelief*

**Rachel Berry: ***cough* most stupid man in the world. I can't believe I dated you. Was I insane? *cough*

**Rachel Berry: **Finn, Britney is with Kurt and Tina at the mall.

**Finn Hudson: **Oh...thanks Rach! Now I'm off to buy some condoms! :)

**Rachel** **Berry: **Finn and Britt are really meant for each other. There both as stupid as corn!

**Noah Puckerman: **What did corn ever do to you?

**Rachel Berry: **There so yellow! Yellow is a stupid color.

**Aaron Houghston: **Poor yellow...it never did something bad...yet so hated.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson: **has anyone seen Kurt?

**David Thompson: **CALLING EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK! CALLING EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK! PLEASE FORM SEARCH PARTIES TO FIND BLAINE'S LOVE-BUT-HAS-STUPIDLY-NOT-TOLD-HIM-YET IMMEDIATELY! HELP THE STUPID HOBBIT! HELP HIM I SAY!

**Blaine Anderson: **I miss Kurt's disco stick right now. And Mr. Bang-Bang.

**Wes Yang: **Blaine, just admit that you love Mr. Bang-Bang and we could get on with our lives.

**Blaine Anderson: **I do. Because I can hit David with him but I don't love him like you do to the point that your sanity is being questioned.

**Wes Yang: **I 'am not insane.

**Blaine Anderson: **no one will ever believe you.

**Wes Yang: ***praying for Mr. Bang-Bang to come down from heaven and inflict Blaine pain like he never felt before.*

**Blaine Anderson: **and this is why we think you're insane.

**Rachel Berry: **Blaine Warbler, Kurt is with Britt and Tina.

**Aaron Houghston: **I thought Blaine's name is Blaine Anderson.

**David Thompson: **it is

**Aaron Houghston: **then why is Rachel calling Blaine a bird?

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Rachel's calling me a Warbler because we're in a club called the Warblers.

**Aaron Houghston: **Why is are club named after birds?

**David Thompson: **...

**Blaine Anderson: **...

**Wes Yang: **I have no idea...

**Aaron Houghston: **That's weird. We are not birds.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* why IS are club named after birds?

**David Thompson: **Maybe the headmaster is part bird!

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* yes David, I so believe that our headmaster is a bird.

**Aaron Houghston: **Headmaster McHill can fly? Is he superman?

**David Thompson: **Aaron, how did you past elementary school?

**Aaron Houghston: **What's elementary school?

**Wes Yang: **I really getting tired of facepalming. My forehead already has my hand pattern.

**Aaron Houghston: **what's a forehead?

**Wes Yang: ***trying to resist to facepalm because he's getting a headache*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Tina Cohen-Chang **has posted a video titled **Single Ladies feat. Britt, Tina, and Sexy Kurt **

**Mike Chang: **So that's where you've been. I thought you eloped with Kurt.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **What? Why would I leave my Asian boyfriend who has hot abs to a hot gay guy with VERY hot hips...

**Mike Chang: ***Asian kisses Tina*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***Asian kisses Asian with hot abs*

**Quinn Fabray: **Didn't Kurt already make a video of Single Ladies last year?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Yeah he did, but this time the video is for my Computer class project. Mr. Hartman wants me to make a video that would blow people away. And with our sexy moves, I'm pretty sure everyone would be blown away.

**Quinn Fabray: **it's an amazing video. You were all super hot! Especially Kurt! WOW!

**Wes Yang: **So freaking love this video! It's better than the original! Take that Beyonce!

**Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman, **and **95,465,437,854 **others likes this

**Aaron Houghston: **Who's Beyonce?

**Wes Yang: **Don't you dare answer him! Or you'll wind up with a headache.

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a headache?

**Jordan McClaine: **Damn Kurt's moves are fine! *fanning himself from total hotness*

**Santana Lopez: **I just want to devour him on the spot! Plus, why wasn't I in this video?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **you were busy with Wes.

**Wes Yang: **And Wes is very happy to be busy with that hot bitch! :) Bow chika bow wow! ;)

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* and another sex conversation on Facebook. Facebook is turning into a porn site.

**Jordan McClaine: **If this were a porn site, it would triple in popularity and I will always be online.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* you are damn lucky you are my best friend.

**Trent Nicholson: **Damn! My brister is on fire!

**Aaron Houghston: **Fire! Where! Should I call naine-wan-wan?

**Trent Nicholson: ***face-friggin-palm* there's no fire, A.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Damn Kurt's spicy hot. As spicy as a spicy tortilla

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*Leave it to Jeff to compare Kurt to Mexican food.

**Rachel Berry: **I wish Kurt wasn't gay. I would totally sleep with him if he was straight.

**Mercedes Jones, Santana Lopez, **and **45,235,267,438 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **HEY! *insert insulted face*

**Artie Abrams, Sam Evans, and 524,698 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Our hips can move like Kurt's too you know!

**Santana Lopez: **Man boobs, you're dancing makes babies cry for their mommies. Hot hips hobbit's dance moves can make three year olds think of dirty thoughts.

**Rachel Berry, Lauren Zizes, **and **4,325,436 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you Santana!

**Santana Lopez: **I already told you, being fucked by you sucks!

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh...

**Blaine Anderson: **My...

**Blaine Anderson: **Katy...

**Blaine Anderson: **Fucking...

**Blaine Anderson: **Perry...

**David Thompson: **I think Blaine just watched the video. _Via Blackberry_

**Wes Yang: **He has a brand new video to masturbate with. Goodbye 4 minutes...Hello Single Ladies. Bow chicka bow wow! ;)

**David Thompson: **Blaine is uber disgusting. He's drooling all over his laptop.

**Wes Yang: **Correction: Your laptop, David.

**David Thompson: **WHAT!

**Wes Yang: **My revenge for hating Kurt's disco stick. You can only hate Mr. Bang-Bang. :)

**David Thompson: **YOU ARE INSANE!

**Mercedes Jones: **No one's surprised, Dark Chocolate. No one will EVER be surprised.

**Blaine Anderson **and **432,432,543 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **The way Kurt's hips should be illegal.

**Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry, **and **33,534,636,456 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **His hips look so grindable and really hot to hold on too.

**Blaine Anderson:**All I want to do right now is pull off that unitard, kiss my way downward, pull of his boxers, and grip on those hips for dear life as I suck the living crap out of him.

**David Thompson: **This is starting to sound like porn. Now I can't stop imagining Blaine giving Kurt a blow job.

**Thad Stevens: **You love porn so that's a gift. :)

**David Thompson: ***insert middle finger pointed at Thad* I'M NOT A PORN ADDICT!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm starting to get a hard on.

**Rachel Berry, Tina Cohen-Chang, **and **2,543,543 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: ***bitch slaps Jordan* DON'T YOU DARE GET A HARD ON FROM KURT! I'LL SERIOUSLY STEAL YOUR CONDOM SUPPLIES IF YOU DO! 

**Jordan McClaine: **I have back up condoms, idiot, steal all you want. ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **NO ONE CAN FANTASIZE ABOUT KURT BUT ME!

**Rachel Berry: **Why?

**Santana Lopez: **Yeah! You are not his boyfriend. Technically, we can fantasize about him all we want.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, I don't know what you see in this woman.

**Wes Yang: **One word: Sex

**Blaine Anderson: **KURT'S MINE!

**Wes Yang: **No he's not. He's free and single and can mingle with anyone he wants. Would you just tell him already?

**Blaine Anderson: **If only you know the reason I can't...

**Rachel Berry: **Blaine's too much of a chicken to do that.

**Aaron Houghston: **What did chicken ever do to you?

**Rachel Berry: **Their babies were planted on my head.

**Aaron Houghston:**Babies can be planted? Where can I buy the seeds? I always wanted a baby sister. :)

**Rachel Berry: ***face-for-the-love-of-Broadway-palm*

************Facebook Addict************

**Rachel Berry: **Alright fellow Glee clubbers! Since the Warblers are having their meetings on Facebook, I think we should follow them and conduct our meetings here too.

**Santana Lopez: **Since when do you get to call the shots, man-hands?

**Rachel Berry: **Since I said so! You Latina bitch!

**Quinn Fabray: **Alright alright...no fighting with you two! That will take forever!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Where's Mr. Schue?

**Lauren Zizes: **Heis either fighting with Sue, eye fucking Ms. Pillsbury, kissing Coach Beiste, or putting a gazillion pounds of hair gel on his hair.

**Sam Evans: **He's probably doing all four.

**Noah Puckerman **and **24,235,453 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **For all of your information kids, I'm not doing anything...I'm just doing #1 in the rest room.

**Santana Lopez: **Ew...do we seriously need to know your man business? *insert disgusted face*

**Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry, **and **323,423 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **Why are my kids so mean on Facebook?

**Noah Puckerman: **We did not come from your seed-bearing groins, Man whore!

**Sue Sylvester: **Well played, Balls-should-be-cut. Very well played.

**Will Schuester: **Rachel, I'm skipping glee club today. I don't want to be near people who are insulting me. Man whore out!

**Quinn Fabray: **Oh why did Mr. Schue gave the authority to Rachel? Why? He's already a man whore, but now he's also stupid too.

**Tina Cohen-Chang **and **32,432 **others likes this

**Artie Abram: **True that, baby!

**Rachel Berry: **Suck my clit, Fabray!

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O Hot! So fucking hot!

**Finn Hudson, Artie Abrams, Mike Chang **and **345 **others likes this

**Quinn Fabray: **Artie! How could you like that? I'm your girlfriend!

**Artie Abrams: **Sorry girl! But when a hot girl says clit, all of the men are hypnotize and just wants to bang her. Can't help it.

**Noah Puckerman: **Wheels! Get your hands and thoughts off my girlfriend! My girlfriend is the hottest biatch here so she's mine!

**Rachel Berry: **Thank you, Noah. :)

**Finn Hudson: **Na ah! My girlfriend is the hottest bitch here. Britney is hot and flexible! And have you seen her curves? She's totally hotter than Rachel is!

**Rachel Berry: **Fuck you, Finn! Fuck you!

**Santana Lopez: **How many times do I need to tell you people that being fucked by Finn sucks!

**Britney S. Pierce: **It doesn't suck to me. Finny's touches feels nice.

**Finn Hudson: **:) Take that, Lopez!

**Santana Lopez: **Now is the only time I think you're insane, Britt...

**Britney S. Pierce: **I've been called insane a lot. What does that mean?

**Finn Hudson: **uh...

**Artie Abrams: **NOBODY dare tell her!

**Santana Lopez: **I'm going to cut you, then kill you, and carry your corpse to Lima Heights and get feed on by my neighbours if you tell her.

**Quinn Fabray: **Santana, why do you live in a place full of cannibals?

**Santana Lopez: **So what if I live with cannibals? You got a problem with that, Stretch Marks? You want a taste of Lima Heights!

**Artie Abrams: **Hey! Back the hell off my hot girlfriend! Back the hell off from the most beautiful bitch in New Directions!

**Quinn Fabray: **Thank you, Artie. My place, eight o'clock. ;)

**Artie Abrams: **Bow chicka bow wow! :)

**Mercedes Jones: **Hell to the no! All of you are wrong! I'm the hottest chocolate bitch here!

**Mike Chang: **I think you are all wrong. My Asian bitch girlfriend, beats all of your girlfriends any day!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I love you, Mike Chang...and your abs!

**Mike Chang: **Me and my abs loves you too! *Asian kiss*

**Lauren Zizes: **Since this fight is completely idiotic because you all know that I 'am the hottest bitch in this group.

**Santana Lopez: **I'm the true bitch of ND! That makes me the hottest too since I banged all of your boyfriends!

**Santana Lopez: **How can you be hot? You're so big, you make your own clothes. Now that is fat.

**Lauren Zizes: **You want to die, Lopez?

**Santana Lopez: **Bring it, Zizes. Let's get out of here. *leaves the classroom*

**Lauren Zizes: ***prepares fists* IT'S ON!

**Britney S. Pierce: **Somebody call naine-wan-wan.

**Sam Evans: **On it.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry: **Fellow Glee clubbers, I, for one think that we need to solve this "Hottest Bitch" problem before it gets out of hand.

**Quinn Fabray: **Good thing Sam called an ambulance, did you see Santana?

**Britney S. Pierce: **Is she dead? *insert worried face* 

**Finn Hudson: **I hope so...

**Artie Abrams, Rachel Berry, **and **3,432,453 **others likes this

**Britney S. Pierce: **Finny! That's mean!

**Finn Hudson: **So is she!

**Rachel Berry: **HEY!Bitches and Bastards!

**Finn Hudson: **What?

**Rachel Berry: **I think we need to vote for who is the Hottest Bitch in New Directions.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:** That's hard to do since we are all paired with someone.

**Rachel Berry:** I know that but I have some rules.

**Quinn Fabray: **She wants to win so her rules are all about her winning.

**Rachel Berry: ***ignoring Prom Queen-wannabe* Rule #1: The girls can't vote because its sure that they'll vote for themselves.

**Mercedes Jones: **You have a point.

**Rachel Berry: **Rule #2: The boyfriends can't vote for their girlfriends. They have to vote for other people.

**Artie Abrams: **I guess that's okay.

**Rachel Berry: **Rule #3: NO CAMPAIGNING! OR BRIBING! And this for you, Quinn.

**Quinn Fabray: **I'll get you for that!

**Rachel Berry: **:P

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **We should ask the Warblers to help us vote. I mean, they know us anyway...except Mike which is always gone when we meet them.

**Mike Chang: **I needed to work on my abs.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **A reasonable reason since I love your abs. ;)

**Mike Chang: ***Asian kiss*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***Asian kiss*

**Noah Puckerman: **Enough with the Asian kisses, Asians!

**Artie Abrams: **True that!

**Mike Chang: **Why do you hate Asians so much?

**Noah Puckerman: **I don't hate Asians, I just don't like watching Public Display of Asian Affection.

**Mike Chang: **You're Asianly right. But I love Tina so...you're Asianly wrong too.

**Rachel Berry: **Kurt and Blaine and the rest of the Warblers should vote too. But we all know they'll be voting for me.

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh hell to the no! Dark Chocolate will persuade the Warblers to vote for me.

**Quinn Fabray: **You two are both wrong! One look at me and they'll be voting for me as fast as you can say "sexy". ;)

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **^dislike^ so not true! With my vampire powers, they can't resist voting for me.

**Britney S. Pierce: **I'm the Queen of the Dolphins! And since there all dolphins, they will vote for me. :)

**Finn Hudson: **Britt, not all of them are dolphins.

**Britney S. Pierce: **Are you sure?

**Finn Hudson: **...actually...no...they look like a gay Hogwarts.

**Santana Lopez: **I'm fucking Wesley, the president of those hot gay men, he'll totally make them vote for me. :) _Via Iphone_

**Finn Hudson: **How in the hell are you facebooking while in the hospital?

**Santana Lopez: **This is Santana's nurse. She's telling me what to post to you guys. She paid $100. :)

**Quinn Fabray: **Never underestimate that bitch.

**Artie Abrams: **True that! Homie!

**Quinn Fabray: **Word

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **has just watched "Last Friday Night by Katy Perry" on Youtube! I was so freaking surprised to see Darren Criss there! And then I was equally disgusted to see the infamous Rebecca Black there too! Katy Perry is still fucking hot even if she's a nerd...and in the video, I noticed her ass to be quite...big...just saying. And I don't know if I was imagining it but she touched a guy's junk. Jealous me...still. WATCH LAST FRIDAY NIGHT NOW!

**Kurt Hummel: **Here's the link: http: / www. youtube .com / watch?v=KlyXNRrsk4A

**Kurt Hummel: **If you haven't watch it, then go and watch it now or forever be deprived of seeing Darren Criss in his most cutest costume yet! He is so supermegafoxyawesomehot!

**Blaine Anderson: **Did you notice your wall is full of Darren Criss's pictures?

**Kurt Hummel: **I posted them of course I know. Hey! Have you watched Last Friday Night?

**Blaine Anderson: **Nope,

**Kurt Hummel: **WATCH IT NOW!

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't want too.

**Kurt Hummel: **Why not?

**Blaine Anderson: **Darren Criss is in it.

**David Thompson: ***cough* Blaine goes back to jealous hobbit *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, Porn Addict!

**David Thompson: ***cough* says the hobbit who practically described giving Kurt a blow job on Facebook *cough*

**Blaine Anderson: **I still have the pictures of you and Wesley making out!

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait, what? O_O

**Thad Stevens, Jordan McClaine, **and **3,254,353 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **You have no such thing!

**Blaine Anderson: **Are you questioning my skills in Photoshop?

**David Thompson: **No one will believe it. I'm as straight as a stick.

**Blaine Anderson: **You're as straight as Kurt's disco stick.

**Jordan McClaine: **Still can't help but be turned on by that...

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: **JORDAN!

**Jordan McClaine: **Can't help it, man. Kurt's hot.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thank you, Jordan. Wait...I thought your straight?

**Jordan McClaine: **I haven't slept with a girl in three days...

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait, what in the name of Darren Criss?

**Trent Nicholson **and **543,534 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **Have condom factories stop manufacturing?

**Kurt Hummel: **Have supermarkets run out of supply?

**Trent Nicholson: **Did Blaine steal your condom supply?

**Blaine Anderson: **Did Wesley cut your penis because you love getting hit of Kurt's disco stick more than Mr. Bang-Bang?

**Wes Yang: **I did no such thing!

**Blaine Anderson: **And yet, we won't be so surprised if you cut Jordan's penis.

**Wes Yang: ***Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit hits jealous hobbit on the head*

**Kurt Hummel: **Jordan, why are you not sleeping with girls?

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm hanging out with Thad at the mall and park.

**Blaine Anderson: **Thad's the reason you're not having sex?

**Jordan McClaine: **Yeah, because I'm busy hanging out with him.

**Trent Nicholson: **What does hanging out with T and doing the nasty with girls have to do with anything?

**Jordan McClaine: **I can't balance both. Thad's my best friend.

**David Thompson: **Wait a minute...I thought Thad hates you because you have sex a lot?

**Thad Stevens: **I learned to cope with it. Hey Jords, there's a marathon of NCIS at Fox tonight, watch with me.

**Jordan McClaine: **Won't miss it for the world! ;)

**Wes Yang: **Blaine, you seriously did not Photoshop a picture of me and David and made it look like we were making out.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah I did. I have it in my cell phone.

**Wes Yang: **Give it to me! NOW!

**Jordan McClaine: **Another dirty thought in my head...

**Blaine Anderson: **No!

**Wes Yang: **Yes!

**Blaine Anderson: **No!

**Wes Yang: **Yes!

**Blaine Anderson: **No!

**Wes Yang: **Yes!

**Blaine Anderson: **No!

**Wes Yang: **Yes!

**Blaine Anderson: **No!

**Wes Yang: **Yes!

**Blaine Anderson: **I'll tell Kurt what you did!

**Wes Yang: **You wouldn't dare!

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh I dare!

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you, Anderson.

**Blaine Anderson: **How many times will I tell you and Porn Addict that you are not my type?

**David Thompson: **How many times will I tell you stop calling me a Porn Addict?

**Wes Yang: **How many times will you both make my life hell and make me miss Mr. Bang-Bang?

**Kurt Hummel: **How many times will I do my bitch stare just for you three to shut up?

**Wes Yang: **I'm leaving. I haven't visited Mr. Bang-Bang's grave today.

**David Thompson: **Me too. I need to take Tater Tots on a date.

**Blaine Anderson: **Well, it's just you and me, Kurt. ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm leaving too...

**Blaine Anderson: **:( Why?

**Kurt Hummel: **One, I need to get a poster of Darren Criss with his look in Last Friday Night. Second, because you don't want to watch it even though Katy Freaking Perry is in it.

**Blaine Anderson: **I've watched the version where Darren Criss's scene was cut.

**Kurt Hummel: ***Garfield on a Monday look* How could you? *walks out dramatically*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson: **

I cannot believe Kurt's angry at me because I didn't watch Darren Criss in LFN.

**Trent Nicholson: **

Can you blame him? Since he doesn't know you love him, he goes to substitute Darren Criss for you.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Just hook up with Nick already!

**Trent Nicholson: **

The last time I saw Nick, he was hiding from the Starkids' mob K, JJ, and JMC called for in Facebook. I haven't seen him since.

**Blaine Anderson: **

They're gone. The headmaster punished those three and banned all of those Starkids at Dalton.

**Trent Nicholson: **

That completely shows the totally awesome powers of Darren Criss, Joey Ritcher, and Redvines in the world.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I think you guys are totally insane.

**Trent Nicholson: **

...B...have you really not watched the whole version of Last Friday Night?

**Blaine Anderson: **

...yeah...I haven't...

**Trent Nicholson: **

You are lying, B. You are a Katy Perry fan. You will never EVER miss anything about Katy Perry.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Fine...I did watch it. I do think that Darren Criss looks very fine there. And his hair...I can't blame Kurt for liking him.

**Trent Nicholson: **

You know B. You kind of look like Darren Criss, in my opinion.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I look like Darren Criss? You're kidding, right? I look like a crazy Filipino with a goofy smile and an insane love for Tocino?

**Trent Nicholson: **

Yeah you do look like him, with a little fixing of your hair, you could look like him in that video.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Really? Maybe Kurt will stop hating me if I shock him with a Darren Criss appearance at Dalton.

**Trent Nicholson: **

I think K will faint once he sees Darren Criss here.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Please help me, Trent.

**Trent Nicholson: **

Sure, B. Since I do owe you for your being single right now instead in K's arms.

**Blaine Anderson: **

It's okay. But seriously hook up with Nick now. Please! For the love of Katy Perry! Hook up!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jeff Jefferson: **is in love.

**Thad Stevens: **I'm very sure it's with food.

**Jeff Jefferson: **nope. I think I love him more than food.

**Jordan McClaine: **Have the supermarket run out of food? Or did KFC stopped selling buckets of chicken wings?

**Jeff Jefferson: **I have a year supply of food in my room and I'm eating a bucket of chicken wings right now.

**Nick Connors: **O_O with who?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Nicholas! Where have you been?

**Nick Connors: **I'm here in Utah, hiding from that Starkid mob, you, Kurt, and Jordan made.

**Jordan McClaine: **They're gone, Nick. Come home.

**Nick Connors: **Are you sure?

**Thad Stevens: **Positive. Kurt, Jeff, and Jordan got in trouble for it though.

**Jeff Jefferson: **It was worth it, considering Nick committed one of the mortal sins by liking Twizzlers more than Redvines. *insert glare*

**Jordan McClaine: **I needed to detox my ears and bleach my eyes for that. Thanks a lot, Nicky.

**Nick Connors: **Never do that again, guys. I promise I'll never compare Twizzlers to Redvines ever again.

**Jordan McClaine: **You better, Nicky. Or you'll get more than just a mob next time.

**Nick Connors: **I promise.

**Thad Stevens: **Anyway, Jeff, what are you talking about being in love with someone?

**Nick Connors: **Yes, Jeff, what you talking about being in love with someone?

**Jordan McClaine: ***cough* since David's not here, I'll guess I have to do it. Jealous Hobbit 2.0. *cough*

**Nick Connors: **Jordan! *insert angry tone*

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert mischievous smile*

**Thad Stevens: **Jords, stop that!

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes, honey

**Thad Stevens: **What?

**Jordan McClaine: **Sorry typo...

**Thad Stevens: **Oh...

**Jeff Jefferson: **I 'am now an open gay guy. :)

**Thad Stevens: **We've known you're gay for years. You even admitted you had a crush on Blaine in freshmen year.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yeah, but I said that was a man crush.

**Jordan McClaine: **So, now you're officially gay?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yeah. I'm as sure as I'm sure I'm a food addict. :)

**Nick Connors: **You come out because of the guy you're in love with?

**Jeff Jefferson: ***sighs dreamily* yes. I owe him for knowing who I 'am.

**Thad Stevens: **Who is he?

**Nick Connors: **Yeah, who is he?

**Jordan McClaine: ***cough* jealous hobbit 2.0 *cough*

**Thad Stevens: **Baby! Stop that!

**Jordan McClaine: **What did you just call me?

**Thad Stevens: **Typo...sorry honey...

**Nick Connors: **Did you just call Jordan, honey?

**Thad Stevens: **uh...I think there's something wrong with my keyboard...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Right...I believe you...

**Thad Stevens: **You're changing the subject, Jeff. Who's the lucky gay?

**Jeff Jefferson: **It's for me to know and for you guys to never find out. Until I find who's the guy he likes.

**Jordan McClaine: **Hold the fuck...he DOESN'T like you back?

**Jeff Jefferson: **He likes me, but I know he likes someone more.

**Nick Connors: **Well...you always know that I like you more than I like anyone, right? No need to question me with that.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Of course, I know you like me, Nick. I'm quite likable.

**Thad Stevens: **Is it Nick?

**Nick Connors: **Thaddeus!

**Jeff Jefferson: **What? No it's not Nick, I'm in love with.

**Jordan McClaine: **Oh that's so hard...

**Nick Connors: **Why would you guys ask that? Jeff and I are friends! I'm signing out now...

**Jordan McClaine: **Is it Thad or me?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Again, I'm not saying anything. Not until I'm sure he likes someone else and I'll kick the crap of the someone else. See ya guys, need to finish this bucket and get another bucket.

**Thad Stevens: **Can you at least tell us if he is a Warbler?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Definitely ;)

*************Facebook Addicts*************

**Thad Stevens:**

Poor Nick! I shouldn't have asked. Now I feel guilty for giving him a broken heart.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah, that was kind of mean. But you did help Trent.

**Thad Stevens: **

Yeah, but...Nick will only like Trent now because he has broken heart to mend. Poor Trent!

**Jordan McClaine: **

Ugh! What a complicated love triangle! I'm so happy I'm not in love!

**Thad Stevens:**

*insert longing face* Yeah...me too...Hooray for not being in love. *insert sarcasm*

**Jordan McClaine:**

What's with the sarcasm and longing face? Wait a minute...are you in love?

**Thad Stevens: **

As David's girlfriend would say...HELL TO THE NO! I'm...I'm...NOT in love! I don't want drama in my life.

**Jordan McClaine: **

Good! Sex is better than love, Thad. Always remember that.

**Thad Stevens: **

I think you're wrong, Jordan. Love is better than anything. Love can conquer all...as they say...

**Jordan McClaine: **

You sound a Victorian Romance Novel...or Kurt...

**Thad Stevens: **

You read those things?

**Jordan McClaine: **

NO!

**Thad Stevens:**

*insert raised eyebrows*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang:**

Jordan, I think we need to talk.

**Jordan McClaine:**

What's up, Gavel-obsessed hobbit?

**Wes Yang:**

Stop calling me that!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah...that will never happen...so what's up?

**Wes Yang:**

What's going on with you and Thad?

**Jordan McClaine:**

What do you mean?

**Wes Yang:**

You two are really close lately...

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah...because we're best friends.

**Wes Yang:**

You shouldn't have done that, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why?

**Wes Yang:**

Because Thad sometimes gets too attached with things...

**Jordan McClaine:**

Your point?

**Wes Yang:**

If you guys have a fight, he will make the Warblers' meeting and the Warblers' life hell.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I think I can control our fights. Besides, we understand each other more now.

**Wes Yang:**

If he falls in love with you and you don't love him back, it's going to kill him to lose you.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Wait, hold the fuck up. What the fuck are you fucking talking fuck about? Thad's in not fucking gay! He's fucking straight!

**Wes Yang:**

Wait a minute...you didn't know he's bisexual?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thad's fucking bi?

**Wes Yang:**

Would you stop saying Fuck?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I will fucking say FUCK as fucking much as I fucking want fuck too!

**Wes Yang:**

What are you so angry about? That he didn't tell you he was bi?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Fuck no! What fuck makes me so fucking angry is that you will fucking think that Thad will fucking fall for fuck me!

**Wes Yang:**

He once fell for me...and I told him that I'll always be straight! Why do you think Thad hates me sometimes for no good reason? Why do you think he doesn't have any girlfriends? Because he gets attached too easily. It's bad too get attached to easily.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Fuck what! He fucking fell for you? Are you fucking kidding me? You are fucking not Thad's type!

He likes someone who's funny and caring and will carry things for him and loves to tuck him good night and kiss him on the forehead and loves NCIS as much as he does and loves parks and basketball and watching the stars at night and rain and loves watching The Notebook even though it's too hopeless romantic and Pineapples. God, he loves Pineapples!

**Wes Yang:**

Jordan...I'm asking you this as a friend...are you in love with Thad?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Fuck WHAT! FUCK NO! FUCK HELL TO THE NO! FUCK NO TO THE NEXT OBLIVION! I'M FUCKING STRAIGHT AND I FUCKING LOVE SEX MORE THAN LOVE! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WOULD YOU THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH THAD STEVENS!

**Wes Yang:**

I didn't know what Thad likes. No one does. As I said before, no one gets too close to him because he gets attached to things too easily...that's why he's so stubborn and a nerd. He wants to be left alone.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why didn't you fucking tell me fuck that!

**Wes Yang:**

I thought everyone knew...

**Jordan McClaine:**

Well newsflash, you fucking idiot! I DIDN'T KNEW!

**Wes Yang:**

I'm sorry...

**Jordan McClaine:**

Fuck You! Again! I' AM NOT IN LOVE WITH THAD STEVENS!

**Wes Yang:**

I didn't say you were!

**Jordan McClaine:**

AGAIN! I 'AM NOT IN LOVE WITH THAD STEVENS!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Thad Stevens:**

Blaine? Trent? Are you two busy? Please I need to talk to you guys!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Hi T! What's up?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Is there something wrong?

**Thad Stevens:**

I made a mistake.

**Trent Nicholson:**

A mistake on what?

**Thad Stevens:**

Falling in love with my best friend...

**Trent Nicholson:**

*Garfield on a Monday* Oh my Fucking Joey Ritcher!

**Blaine Anderson:**

You too, huh? Join the club, Thad. We all fell in love with our best friends. Me with Kurt. Trent with Nick. Now, you with Jordan.

**Thad Stevens:**

I finally hit rock bottom, guys. I fell in love with a straight guy.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Can't blame yourself, JMC is pretty hot and sexy.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I define "hot" as "Kurt Hummel" :)

**Trent Nicholson:**

That's so sweet! :)

**Thad Stevens: **

What am I going to do? While we were talking to Nick and Jeff, I slipped a lot...calling him baby and honey and...a whole lot more...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Wait a minute...N's back? Where was he? Is he okay?

**Thad Stevens: **

Yeah, he's in Utah but he's coming back very soon...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Is he okay?

**Thad Stevens:**

Nope

**Trent Nicholson:**

What happened to him? Did the Starkids tracked him down? They can do that you know.

**Thad Stevens:**

Jeff came out...finally...and he's in love with someone...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes! He finally came out! *winner's dance* I should welcome him to the world of Open Gay Guys...

**Trent Nicholson:**

HE'S IN LOVE! With who? Nick?

**Thad Stevens:**

Good news for you...it's not Nick. He's in love with another Warbler...

**Blaine Anderson:**

What!

**Trent Nicholson:**

What the AVPM!

**Thad Stevens:**

My sentiments exactly. I can't believe he's finally gay AND he's in love with one of us...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Who do you think he is?

**Blaine Anderson:**

The Warbler he's most close with is Nick. And Nick only. Those two are best friends...who could it possibly be?

**Thad Stevens:**

He says the Warbler he likes, likes someone else...

**Blaine Anderson:**

All of the Warblers are with someone except the three of us...but he knows I like Kurt and Kurt likes me so...I'm out...

**Trent Nicholson:**

It can't possibly be me...but only Jordan, Thad, Kurt, and Blaine knows that I like Nick...so...maybe...

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan is sort of close to Jeff but he said it's not the two of us...so...

**Blaine Anderson:**

He'll tell us soon. I'm sure of that.

**Thad Stevens:**

What the hell am I going to do? Jordan might notice that...I like him more than just a friend. He's my first best friend. I don't want to lose him.

**Trent Nicholson:**

B, this is more yours.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Nope, it's yours. Kurt's in love with me, Trent. Nick's not in love with you. You and Thad are the same.

**Trent Nicholson:**

But JMC is straight! N's gay! Neither of us have the same problem like Thad has.

**Blaine Anderson:**

you're absolutely right. Thad, I think you should try your best to hide your feelings, because I'm very sure that even though Jordan is not a homophobe...he doesn't think of you as more than just a friend. Besides, he doesn't want to fall in love...let alone be bi. He wants sex and sex only.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I agree with B. JMC is sex. He doesn't agree with love. He never told anyone of us about that. He just doesn't want to fall in love.

**Thad Stevens:**

I also didn't want to fall in love with best friend...

**Trent Nicholson:**

So did I...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Me too...

**Trent Nicholson:**

And yet I fell in love with N...

**Blaine Anderson:**

And I fell madly hard for Kurt...

**Thad Stevens:**

And now, I 'am in love with Jordan McClaine...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson:**

N! How are you?

**Nick Connors:**

Terrible! *blows nose on a tissue* Freaking Horrible!

**Trent Nicholson:**

...about what?

**Nick Connors:**

Jeff's in love with someone else! What the hell!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Oh...that...

**Nick Connors: **

I was always the one there for him! I was always the one who made him laugh and smile and happy! I was always the one who comforted him when he's sad! I was always the one who buys him food everywhere at the mall! And yet...he's IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE! What the naked Justin Bieber hell! Is he blind?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Maybe he's as blind as Justin Bieber is of his sexuality?

**Nick Connors:**

Ugh! I can't believe it! Once I find who the guy is, I'm so going to make his life hell!

**Trent Nicholson:**

N, don't be like that! No one can control who they fall in love with. Even people can do that, no one will have broken hearts.

**Nick Connors: **

What about me? What about my heart? I'm in love with him, Trent!

**Trent Nicholson;**

You need to move on or let the pain eat you alive and depress you like Lindsay Lohan.

**Nick Connors: **

You did not just compare me to a Lindsay Lohan aka the most problemed girl in the world.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...maybe...

**Nick Connors:**

...*insert hysterical laugh* hahahahahahahahahaha! Oh My Fucking Naked Justin Bieber! That's so funny...

**Trent Nicholson:**

:)

**Nick Connors:**

OMFNJB! That's so funny! Trent, you always make me happy!

**Trent Nicholson:**

...yeah...

**Nick Connors:**

and you always comfort me when I'm sad or have problems with Jeff

**Trent Nicholson:**

...yeah...

**Nick Connors: **

And you didn't hate me when I didn't know anything about Redvines even though it was a huge insult to you for me not knowing about them.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...yeah...

**Nick Connors:**

You are a good friend, Trent.

**Trent Nicholson:**

You are too, N.

**Nick Connors:**

I love you, Trent! I hope we never part in our lives! You're the best friend a guy can ever have.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...I love you too, N. I will always love you. I'll never leave you.

**Nick Connors:**

Is that a promise?

**Trent Nicholson:**

It's a promise.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh my Holy Lady Gaga! Alexander McQueen! Ralph Laurens! Neil Patrick Harris! Joey Ritcher! AVPM! AVPS! MAMD! I just saw Darren Freaking Criss!

**Trent Nicholson: **Where did you saw him?

**Kurt Hummel: **At Dalton! At freaking Dalton!

**Trent Nicholson: **K, I hate you burst your gay bubble but...Darren Criss in Ohio...specifically Dalton Academy, Westerville is as impossible as us making a sex tape.

**Kurt Hummel: **As much as a Trent-Kurt sex tape will be very hot, I did saw him. He was wearing the exact costume he had at Last Friday Night.

**Blaine Anderson: **That would be me, Kurt. Your very own Darren Criss in Ohio. ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **...

**Kurt Hummel: **What the Lea Michele! Cory Monteith! Chris Colfer! Amber Riley! Kevin McHale! Naya Rivera! Mark Salling! Jenna Ushkowitz! Heather Morris! Harry Shum Jr.!

**Blaine Anderson: **Who are those people?

**Kurt Hummel: **I don't know...they just pop inside my head...weird...

**Kurt Hummel: **Anyway...you are changing the subject! You actually look like Darren Criss!

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah... I'm that awesome... :)

**Trent Nicholson: **With the little help from make up and clothes and correct use of hair gel, he can.

**Kurt Hummel: **is drooling. Blaine, are you still wearing the costume?

**Blaine Anderson: **yes

**Kurt Hummel: **Hang out with me NOW! PLEASE! And we need to take pictures! LOTS OF PICTURES! Lots of pictures of me and "Darren Criss"

**Blaine Anderson: **Sure *wink wink*

**Kurt Hummel: ***fanning himself*

**Trent Nicholson: **Use protection! ;)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel **to **Blaine Anderson: **Don't wear your hair like that all the time, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **why? I thought you like my Darren Criss style hair?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah...but I like your hair more when it's loose.

**Blaine Anderson: **...you mean you want untamed by hair gel.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, you are way cuter with loose curly hair. :) And remember, you better than Darren Criss.

**Blaine Anderson: ***blushing*Then I will wear my hair like that all the time.

**Kurt Hummel: **No more hair gel! Yes! Praise Darren Criss!

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, do you know what's next week?

**Kurt Hummel: **:) You mean on Friday, it will the sixth month since the day we met? :)

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah...so..

**Kurt Hummel: **...so...

**Blaine Anderson: **I would like to take you to BreadstiX...alone...just the...two of us...

**Kurt Hummel: **You mean like a date?

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh...yeah...a friends date...

**Kurt Hummel: **...oh...

**Blaine Anderson: **yeah...a best friends date...

**Kurt Hummel: **Looking forward to it!

**Blaine Anderson: **Hey! You can even choose my outfit!

**Kurt Hummel: **And this why I love you, Blaine!

**Blaine Anderson: **And I love you too. :) Best friends forever!

**Kurt Hummel: **Best friends forever! ;)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry **to **Kurt Hummel: **Kurt, can you and the Warblers help us in deciding who the hottest ND chick is next week?

**Kurt Hummel: **Shouldn't you guys be worrying about Regionals?

**Rachel Berry: **Who the hottest ND chick is more important than Regionals!

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay...who are you and what have you done with the annoying Rachel Berry I hate and love at the same time!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **Has anyone seen my disco stick?

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley destroyed it. :)

**Wes Yang: **I'm going to kill you after he kills me. *runs for dear life*

**Kurt Hummel: **WESLEY YANG! YOU GAVEL-OBSESSED BABOON! YOU ARE GOING TO PAY! GAGA STYLE!

**Wes Yang: **I regret nothing! Long live Mr. Bang-Bang!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Second longest chapter I wrote. 7,700 words. Again I'm amaze by how long I can write.**

**Okay so I was a little evil last week with no Klaine happening but here I ended pretty well. Kurt and Blaine said "I love you" though they are still friends. And! A Klaine date! What do you think they'll be talking about? And will ND and Warblers not spy on them?**

**Jorthad finally happened because all of you want it. But, as I make Klaine suffer, I also make Jorthad suffer. Thad is in love and bi but Jordan doesn't want to fall in love and just plain want sex. But I never explained why so...look forward for a Jordan background to come. But...if you really read the Wes-Jordan Conversation...Jordan was clearly in denial so to people who ship Jorthad, look forward to more Jorthad.**

**Jeff dropped a bombshell in this story. He is gay but closeted but now, he is an open gay guy. All thanks to someone.**

**There is a development to the Treck storyline...I think Nick is very blind and I'm very sorry for Trent. Poor poor guy. *hugs Trent***

**Single Ladies and Last Friday Night are the best videos of all time!**

**The Hottest ND Chick votation will happen in the next chapter. All of the ND girls are competing. **

**FAVORITE PART: The Single Ladies comments. And Of course the Klaine "I love you"**

**FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER: Wes Yang: "**He has a brand new video to masturbate with. Goodbye 4 minutes...Hello Single Ladies. Bow chicka bow wow! ;)" **I can seriously imagine Blaine mastubating to that video. Can't blame him. **

**Two things I want you all to do that will make me happy: **

**Review and tell me your favorite part or quote/quoter**

**And answer these two question: Who do you think should win the Hottest ND chick and why? And who do you think is Jeff in love with? You cannot vote for Blaine or Kurt because it's not them.**

**Thanks again for everyone! My faithful readers. The reviewers. The alerters. And the 89 people on Facebook that likes and comments on everything I put up there. You people are the most amazing people in the world. I love you all! **

**COMMERCIAL: **

_Wow...they are high school students and yet all of their lives are very complicated. Will Rachel ever stop hating the color yellow and chicken? Will William stop eye fucking Ms. Pillsbury? Will Puck ever cut his balls? Is Dalton really a gay Hogsworths or just a plain school for gay boys who'll fall in love with each other? Will Jordan stop fucking girls and just fuck Thad for God's sake? Will Nick so stupidly in love with Jeff and instead be stupidly in love with Trent? Will Klaine date happen successfully on end in plain tragically? And for everyone's sakes! Will Wesley stop loving Mr. Bang-Bang!_

_Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook!_

_Naked Justin Bieber and Naked Darren Criss out! Bitches! _

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! :D**


	13. Planning on Spying and Cheating on Votes

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Hey Everybody! And welcome to another chapter of "Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook"! **

**Hope you guys have fun reading! And I have a special author's note at the end that all of my readers need to read. **

**Theme: Drama and Comedy and Mr. Bang-Bang goodness**

**Warning: RATED M PEOPLE! RATED M PEOPLE! For swearing and references to certain "male" and "female" body parts.**

**Dedication: I dedicate this to ****Lucy Grange**** on Facebook. She and her friends gave me the idea for Trent's name. Thanks so much, Lucy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Facebook. I do own this amazing story and is married to Darren Freaking Criss but do NOT tell this to Kurt or he'll kill me. I don't want to die...yet...**

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Thirteen:**

**Planning on Spying and Cheating on Votes**

**Rachel Berry: **cannot wait to be coronated as the Hottest ND Bitch on Friday! :)

**Mercedes Jones: **You got it all wrong, Berry. It is I who gets that crown.

**Quinn Fabray: **You two are both wrong. I'm the future Prom Queen so I always get crowns and I get that crown.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I want a crown too! Can I have it? Please? With Me on top?

**Finn Hudson: **Yes please! :)

**Santana Lopez: **Sorry Britt but that crown is mine. I'm the bitch of ND and no one else.

**Lauren Zizes: **Does this bitch want to be broken again?

**Santana Lopez: **Bring it on, Zizes!

**Lauren Zizes: ***insert evil smile*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Somebody call nine-one-one again! PS: I'm the Hottest ND Bitch!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Don't you mean naine-one-one?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***Asian facepalm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What's an Asian facepalm?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **You are racist for not knowing that.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What's racist?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Quinn Fabray: **Vote Quinn for Hottest Bitch and Prom Queen! Vote Quinn for Hottest Bitch and Prom Queen!

**Kurt Hummel: **Remind me again why are you girls having a competition with whose the hottest bitch in New Directions?

**Quinn Fabray: **... I don't really remember...but when I hear crown I always want it...maybe I have crown addiction...

**Kurt Hummel: ***Gay facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: **Isn't that a little homophobic?

**Kurt Hummel: ***Double Gay facepalm* I'm gay of course it's okay!

**Aaron Houghston: **Hey that rhymes! That is cool! :)

**Kurt Hummel: ***Triple Gay facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **Seriously? Why are you girls having a Hottest ND bitch competition?

**Mercedes Jones: **Because Ms. Annoying-Till-Armageddon-Happens assumes she's the Hottest ND bitch there is. Clearly, she is blinded my chocolate thunder.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm assuming we are talking about Rachel?

**Rachel Berry: **You assumed correct, Kurtie.

**Kurt Hummel: **Of course I do, besides Rachel, the only annoying person I know that'll never change is Rebecca Black. No matter how beautiful she makes herself or how many zits she pops, she will always be known as "Friday", aka the most horrible song of 2011 and of all time. God I hate her!

**Mercedes Jones: **Everyone hates her, Kurt. If you like her, it's like liking Justin Bieber. Eww...How disgusting...

**Rachel Berry **and **23,435,345 **others likes this

**Nick Connors: **Blasphemy! Burn you! I'm so not voting for you, Mercedes! Unless you say you love Justin Bieber!

**Mercedes Jones: **Over my expired Tater Tots!

**Kurt Hummel: ***Gay facepalm* please don't tell me you eat Tater Tots even expired ones.

**Mercedes Jones: **...I'm not saying yes...I'm not saying no either...

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm getting tired of facepalming.

**Nick Connors: **I'm voting for Santana because she looks like a hot bitch for me. Also, SHE doesn't question Justin Bieber!

**Mercedes Jones: **Do you want to be cut, Nicholas?

**Kurt Hummel: **RUN! She has a knife! And a container of Tater Tots!

**Nick Connors: **Uh man! I don't want to go back to Utah again! My grandmother licks my face every time!

**Kurt Hummel: ***Tired Facepalm*I did not need to know that Nicholas!

**Rachel Berry: **Well now you know! Vote for me, Kurtie!

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm so not voting for you

**Rachel Berry: **Kiss my Clit!

**Noah Puckerman: **Yes please *insert hungry and turned on look*

**Jacob Ben Israel: **YES!

**Noah Puckerman: **Leave now, Israel, or I will seriously cut out your testicles!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm severely turned on right now...

**Wes Yang: **Are you sure you're not gay?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I can't believe Santana actually kicked Lauren's ass. Go Santana! Go Satan! 

**Santana Lopez: **I'm hurt's me that you didn't believe that I can kick that Fat Chick's butt.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Sorry. How about I tell Mike, my Asian boyfriend, to vote for you?

**Santana Lopez: **That would really be nice. Now, I need a nice pick-me-up...

**Jordan McClaine: **Hey! I'm free! Wanna fuck me?

**Santana Lopez: **I don't know you...

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm the sex addict of the Warblers and my penis is about ten inches...

**Wes Yang: **Ten inches!

**Kurt Hummel: **TEN!

**Aaron Houghston: **Teen!

**Blaine Anderson: **Why are you guys so surprised that Jordan has a ten-inched penis?

**David Thompson: **Why aren't you surprised? Unless...

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay. I 'AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY PENIS ON FACEBOOK!

**Kurt Hummel: **Damn...

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh...Kurt? Why? Wanna know?

**Noah Puckerman: **Fucking get some!

**Kurt Hummel: **...no comment... *blushing so freaking furiously*

**Santana Lopez: **This day just keeps getting better and better. :) Jordan, come to bitch mama!

**Jordan McClaine: **YES! SEX, HERE I COME BABY!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Blaine Anderson **to **Wes Yang: **Wesley, I need to confess something...PM me

**Wes Yang: **Are you going to confess to me that your undying love for Kurt is a sham and you are actually undyingly and irrevocably in love with me?

**Blaine Anderson: **What in the name of Perry are you talking about!

**Blaine Anderson: **That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read/heard in my entire life. And I've heard a LOT of ridiculous things in my life like Justin Bieber being called a "hottie" and Neil Patrick Harris being called "not a hottie".

**Nick Connors: **Why does everyone hate Justin Bieber so much? He is a perfectly perfect seventeen year old!

**Blaine Anderson: **Duh! Because he is HATEABLE!

**Nick Connors: **Fuck you, Anderson! 

**Blaine Anderson: **I thought you like Jeff? Besides, my heart and groins belongs to Kurt.

**Wes Yang: **God, how I wish for Kurt to read ^that^ right now! *begs for Kurt to magically go online*

**Blaine Anderson: **Why is Kurt not online? 

**Wes Yang: **Shopping with his "girl" friends, I think. BTW, do you want to know what's more ridiculous than what I said?

**Blaine Anderson: **...you being cured with your insanity? Because that's not going to happen anytime soon or in the future of humanity...

**Wes Yang: **No...Us talking on Facebook instead of via human to human personally.

**Blaine Anderson: **That's because Facebook is AWESOME! :)

**Wes Yang: **But we're next to each other! Why are we not talking to each other like civilised human beings?

**Blaine Anderson: **First of all, we are not civilised because we are Warblers and Warblers are the insane students of Dalton and have been passed down from generation to generation. The insanity went off the roof when YOU became the president of the Warblers. Second of all, ...you may have a point...

**Wes Yang: ***ignoring being the root of all Warbler insanity and insert Asian smirk* Who's insane now, hobbit?

**Blaine Anderson: **Still you! :P

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you!

**Blaine Anderson: **Why do you guys love fucking me so much? Is it about the penis size?

**Wes Yang: **is trying his hardest not to think of Blaine's cock...and failing to do so...ugh...disgusting...

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY! ONLY KURT CAN FANTASIZE ABOUT ME AND MY COCK!

**Wes Yang: **I DON'T WANT TO THINK OF YOUR COCK!

**Jordan McClaine: **Is it wrong that I'm severely turned on with this conversation?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes

**Wes Yang: **Definitely...are you sure you're straight?

**Jordan McClaine: **...I'm leaving FB now...I have a fuck date with a bitch...see ya fuckers...

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, would you just PM me now?

**Wes Yang: **Fine, but the talk of your cock ends here...

**Blaine Anderson: **Fine...I'm pretty sure you want to talk more of David's cock than mine...

**Wes Yang: **I don't and will never want David's cock! 

**Blaine Anderson: **Right...you say that now but wait a few more years and we'll find out what you really are...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang: **

So Blainey-boy, are you going to tell me you're going straight?

**Blaine Anderson: **

WHAT! Wesley! For Perry's sake! Stop assuming! The next thing you're going to assume is that I masturbate with a picture of you...

**Wes Yang:**

Nah...You do that to Kurt's Single Ladies video...

**Blaine Anderson: **

I resent that accusation!

**Wes Yang:**

Liars go to hell!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine...I may or may not do that...

**Wes Yang:**

You are blushing right now so that is definitely a may... :) If Kurt knew about this...

**Blaine Anderson: **

Shut up! Just let me tell you something!

**Wes Yang:**

Ugh! Blaine! You are wasting my precious Asian time! What in the Asian hell do you want me to know!

**Blaine Anderson: **

I'm going on a date with Kurt

**Wes Yang: **

*cue the choir singing in the background* THANK ASIAN GOD! THANK MR. BANG-BANG! A KLAINE MIRACLE HAS HAPPEN! PRAISE JESUS! PRAISE!

**Blaine Anderson: **

But it's not a date with Kurt

**Wes Yang:**

Okay...now you lost me...I'm in Africa now...

**Blaine Anderson: **

I'm going on a date with Kurt but it's not a date

**Wes Yang:**

Even Albert Einstein can't understand what the hell you talking about

**Blaine Anderson:**

Have you ever met Albert Einstein?

**Wes Yang:**

No

**Blaine Anderson:**

How the hell would you know if he'll understand?

**Wes Yang:**

*Asian shrugs* Maybe we're related...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Now I get why a lot of people call Albert Einstein a mad scientist...I get where you get your insanity now...poor you...

**Wes Yang:**

Shut up! Seriously gay dude! Explain yourself at once or you'll never see Kurt's Single Ladies video every again!

**Blaine Anderson: **

*insert smirk* For Your Gay Information, I have ten to twenty copies of Kurt's Single Ladies video...you can pretty much steal any of you want...though I'm very sure David will hate you for masturbating to Kurt's video. :)

**Wes Yang: **

JUST EXPLAIN BLAINE! 

**Blaine Anderson:**

On Friday is our sixth month anniversary since we met at the staircase

**Wes Yang:**

*cue awww's* Awwww...so cute...so cute Klaine...I'm jealous! Do you remember our anniversary?

**Blaine Anderson:**

no

**Wes Yang: **

:/ You are mean! One mean Katy Perry obsessed hobbit!

**Blaine Anderson:**

You don't remember as much as I don't remember!

**Wes Yang:**

Very true...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yet you remember your anniversary with David...

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah, it was third day of Freshmen year...we both got detention...I put thumbtacks on Mrs. Almira's chair while David replaced her coffee with his pee...priceless...

**Blaine Anderson:**

And on that same day, TweedleAsiangay and TweedlePornAddictgay were born... :)

**Wes Yang:**

Whatever! So...it's not a "real" date between you and Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Pretty much

**Wes Yang:**

And yet, both of you are so in love with each other...just too stupid to realize it...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yeah

**Wes Yang:**

Gay dude, why can't you say it to Kurt? And have a REAL Klaine date for God's sake!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wesley, can you promise me something?

**Wes Yang:**

Unless it's about me taking naked pictures of myself and giving them to you to masturbate to...no...but anything besides is okay to me! :)

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wesley, YOU WILL NEVER BE MY TYPE! I like a man who has hot abs...hot hips...a hot cheeky ass...long LONG slender legs...delicious and full lips...ocean eyes...HOT FREAKING HIPS...

**Wes Yang:**

Blaine, you're touching yourself...again...please stop masturbating in front of me...let me leave first before you think of Kurt in...positions...positions I don't ever wanna know...

**Blaine Anderson: **

Shut up! I'm NOT doing what you think I'm doing...

**Wes Yang:**

Right...I so believe you... *insert sarcasm*

**Blaine Anderson:**

Can you keep a promise?

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah, I can.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I made a deal with Trent...

**Wes Yang:**

A threesome with Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

NO! For Perry's sake, Wesley! Stop interrupting me!

**Wes Yang:**

Sorry...continue...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Do you know Trent is in love with Nick?

**Wes Yang:**

FYI Blaine, the whole Dalton knows...I think Nick, Jeff, and Aaron are the ones who don't know about it. Why you ask? Is Trent in love with YOU now?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Katy Perry facepalm* Assume one more thing, Wesley, and I will seriously kill you in your sleep tonight! I can easily put my pillow on your face and end your life!

**Wes Yang:**

Just not the pillow you masturbate with

**Blaine Anderson:**

*rolls his eyes* Fine

**Wes Yang:**

Okay...why is Trent's "not so secret" love for Nick relevant to your "not real date" with Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I made a deal with Trent that I will not tell Kurt I love him until he and Nick get together

**Wes Yang:**

...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wesley?

**Wes Yang:**

...

**Blaine Anderson: **

Wesley?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wes?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Possible Gay Hobbit?

**Blaine Anderson:**

^Scrap that^ Sure Gay Hobbit?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Gavel-obsessed hobbit?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Mr. Bang-Bang's soul mate?

**Blaine Anderson: **

David's one true love?

**Blaine Anderson: **

The Warblers' gay president?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wesley Yang for heaven's sake! Answer or at least reply! You're sitting next to me just staring at the screen.

**Wes Yang:**

THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST STUPID IDEA YOU HAVE HAD!

**Blaine Anderson:**

That's better...

**Wes Yang:**

How stupid are you? Are you stupider than Aaron is?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm not THAT stupid...

**Wes Yang:**

Well I think you are!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wesley, Trent is a mess with this. He's as in love with Nick as I 'am with Kurt.

**Wes Yang:**

NEWS FLASH! Kurt's in love with you too! Nick's in love with Jeff! Jeff's the only one who doesn't know that Nick's in love with him! What's worse is that Jeff's in love with someone else!

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know Kurt can wait for me! And I'll always wait for Kurt! But you know me, I think of my friends first before me!

**Wes Yang:**

Sometimes, you need to be selfish! Look at me and David, we still talk but we aren't friends anymore because of Mercedes.

**Blaine Anderson:**

When are you two going to make up? I haven't seen you two hang out except Warblers' practice.

**Wes Yang: **

He's with Mercedes...I'm sort of with...Santana, physically...not emotionally...

**Blaine Anderson:**

You can't spell Wevid without Wes and David. :)

**Wes Yang:**

And you can't spell Klaine without Kurt and Blaine! Still, Kurt won't wait forever!

**Blaine Anderson:**

That's why I need your help! We need Nick to fall for Trent! Or Klaine won't happen...and all the Warblers will face the sexual tension of Klaine every SINGLE meeting.

**Wes Yang:**

Blaine, you had me at Klaine sexual tension. You'll lead the next Warbler meeting if and only if Nick and Jeff are not around.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Just buy them a Never Say Never DVD and we have hours to talk.

**Wes Yang:**

And by them, you mean you. Right? Cause I'm saving up my money for a vibrator for Santana. :)

**Blaine Anderson: **

I did not need to know that Wesley.

**Wes Yang:**

Well now you know...Good luck with the date! *fingers, toes, and eyes crossed*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Noah Puckerman: **ND studs! We have a serious problem!

**Finn Hudson: **Let me guess, you got Rachel pregnant...didn't you?

**Artie Abrams: **FUCK YEAH! That's my homie! Trouty Mouth! You owe me fifty fucking bucks! Give me the dough yow! Told ya my Fuck man will get Ms. Feeler-Bitch hot in the oven! Told you! :P

**Sam Evans: **Aww...man...I was saving up for an Avatar DVD!

**Artie Abrams: **Avatar my ass! Give me the green, big mouth!

**Sam Evans: **Stop calling me big mouth!

**Artie Abrams: **I'll call you big mouth till you get mouth reduction surgery!

**Mike Chang: **Artie, why do you sound like a gangsta?

**Artie Abrams: **What yo talkin' bout, Asian?

**Mike Chang: **Okay...racist gangsta...

**Noah Puckerman: **Guys! I'm hurt! I can't believe you all assumed that I got Rach pregnant! And Sam and Artie even bet on it.

**Finn Hudson: **That's because you have unusually fertile groins. We will DEFINETLY assume that you got Rach pregnant.

**Sam Evans: **Finn, please don't talk about Puck's fertile groins. I don't need to know that.

**Mike Chang: **You did got Quinn pregnant last year...

**Noah Puckerman: **...I had a baby with Quinn?

**Sam Evans: ***Huge mouth facepalm* Dude, you seriously forgot that you forgot a baby? That is low.

**Finn Hudson: **Lower than Britt's panties...

**Artie Abrams: **Sometimes, she doesn't wear panties at all...

**Finn Hudson: **IKR! :)

**Noah Puckerman: **Can we just forget the "Quinn baby thing" and focus on the more important subject now!

**Finn Hudson: **Geometry?

**Noah Puckerman: ***Puckersaurus facepalm* not a REAl subject! The Hottest ND Bitch Crown subject!

**Mike Chang: **...wait a minute! You just want us to vote for Rachel!

**Artie Abrams: **You motherfuckers should vote for my girl!

**Noah Puckerman: **NO! I don't want you guys to vote for Rachel. I actually want the opposite.

**Sam Evans: **What are you talking about?

**Noah Puckerman: **This Bitch Crown business is going to make all the girls hate each other or the winner in the end, and will cause us Regionals! As much as I love that Gay Hogwarts and Kurt, I don't want to lose Regionals the SECOND time. I propose for us to cheat.

**Artie Abrams: **And how do you propose that, Fuck man?

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah, how can we cheat that?

**Noah Puckerman: **By not voting for any of them.

**Mike Chang: **Do you seriously want to die?

**Sam Evans: **I feel sorry for all of you if you do that. I'll be the only male in New Directions.

**Finn Hudson: **Are you sure you're male?

**Sam Evans: **Shut up, Scared-of-the-Dark! :P

**Finn Hudson: **YOU TOLD HIM PUCK!

**Noah Puckerman:** It slipped...

**Finn Hudson: **So is my fist on your face!

**Artie Abrams: **As Britt would say: "STOP THE FUCKING VIOLENCE, YOW!"

**Mike Chang: **Seriously, why are you talking like a gangsta?

**Artie Abrams: **None of your damn business, Asian!

**Mike Chang: **Racist!

**Noah Puckerman: **Come on guys! This is serious! The voting is tomorrow and we need plan before those girls kill each other.

**Sam Evans: **They usually kill each other every other week.

**Finn Hudson: **Trouty mouth does have a point...

**Sam Evans: **WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP TEASING ME FOR MY MOUTH!

**Artie Abrams: **But it's as big as Asia!

**Mike Chang: **RACISM!

**Artie Abrams: **Whatever, Asian

**Noah Puckerman: **We still need to vote guys but maybe...it shouldn't be a girl...

**Sam Evans: **NEWSFLASH! PUCKERMAN! Kurt's at Dalton now. And his the only...technically girl...in the ND guys...

**Noah Puckerman: **Well then who's the next "gay-like" guy here in ND?

**Finn Hudson: **Not me!

**Mike Chang: **I'm in love with Tina!

**Artie Abrams: **Yow! NOT ME, homies!

**Sam Evans: **Just because my hair comes from a bottle does not make me gay! Not me also!

**Finn Hudson: **So it's you then, Puck!

**Noah Puckerman: **Are you kidding me? If I win that crown, Rachel's legs will be sipped up till the end of time! I can't wait that long to get my Big Puckerman down.

**Sam Evans: **Big Puckerman? Is that your name for your penis?

**Noah Puckerman: **Yes...got a problem with that...Trouty Mouth?

**Sam Evans: **is vowing to kill everyone who teases about his big mouth one more time.

**Artie Abrams: **Trouty mouth! :P

**Sam Evans: **:(

**Noah Puckerman: **The ND bitch crown should be coronated to a man. Whoever we choose has just have to deal with it! Think of this as saving the club and have the permission to get laid with all the ND girls...except Mercedes and Tina since David and Mike will kill the person they sleep with unless it's them.

**Finn Hudson: **...vote for me for ND BITCH! VOTE FOR ME!

**Mike Chang: **I know he's going out of Narnia soon. Now he did...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel **to **Mercedes Jones: **I need to tell you something, Cedes. Please PM me! :)

**Mercedes Jones: **Are you going to tell me that your questioning your sexuality again and want to sleep with me to answer it? Because I'll totally dump Dark Chocolate's ass for your God damn hips!

**David Thompson: **HEY! *hurt face*

**Mercedes Jones: **Dark Chocolate, please don't tell me that if you were gay, Kurt is not the first guy you'll sleep with?

**David Thompson: **Tater Tots! I'm not GAY! Besides, I have my porn for that...

**Mercedes Jones: **WHAT!

**David Thompson: **TYPO! Let me rephrased: Besides, I wasn't born like that...

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh...now I understand...

**David Thompson: ***insert sigh of freaking relief*

**Kurt Hummel: **MERCEDES JONES! What in the name of Gaga are you talking about!

**Mercedes Jones: **Four words: Damn! Your Sexy Hips!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm and flattered face* I can't believe my girl best friend is attracted to me...

**Mercedes Jones: **For Your Gay Information, EVERYONE is attracted to your goddamn hips!

**Kurt Hummel: **...not Blaine... :(

**Mercedes Jones: ***cough* if only you know about the porn fan fic he made about you two doing the nasty nasty *cough*

**Kurt Hummel:** WHAT!

**Mercedes Jones: **Nothing...you two seriously need help with saying your feelings for each other. Might I suggest Ms. Pillsbury?

**Kurt Hummel: **Nah...she's too busy being a virgin to her hot husband and getting eye fucked by Mr. Schuester every chance he can get.

**Will Schuester: **Kurt, I 'am not eye-fucking Emma!

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert sarcasm* Right...and I'm not eye fucking Blaine every chance I can get...yet I do...sometimes...

**Mercedes Jones: ***insert shocked face* Sometimes? Bitch please! You guys have eye sex whenever you two are together. You two are practically making gay porn in front of us!

**Kurt Hummel: **NO WE DON'T!

**Mercedes Jones: **I have pictures to prove it, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson!

**Kurt Hummel: **As much as I love the Anderson at the end, POST THOSE PICTURES ON FB AND I SWEAR TO LADY GAGA, I WILL CUT YOU LIKE THE CHOCOLATE BITCH YOU ARE!

**Mercedes Jones: **Vote for me for ND Bitch then!

**Kurt Hummel: ***sighs, giving in to blackmail* fine, I'll vote for you...

**Mercedes Jones: **and that is how Mercedes Jones wins...I thank you. ;)

**Kurt Hummel: ***shakes head from disbelief* as for you, Mr. Schue...

**Aaron Houghston: **Hey! That rhymes too! So COOL!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm and ignores Aaron* go eye fuck Ms. Pillsbury. Clearly, I'm having a private conversation here, in case you haven't noticed. Maybe Coach Sylvester is right...hair gel can effect the brain...

**Sue Sylvester: **Sue Sylvester is always right, young gay Porcelain. I'm ALWAYS RIGHT!

**Will Schuester: ***ignores the woman who escaped a mental institute* Is Facebook like a drug that makes kids mean?

**Mercedes Jones: **Yeah, it's addictive. Like cocaine...sweet cocaine...sigh... :) **(A/N: MERCEDES IS NOT DOING COCAINE! SHE'S JUST TEACHING MR. SCHUE! I FROWN UPON DRUGS! NEVER DO DRUGS!)**

**Kurt Hummel: **True that! Oh my Darren Criss! I'm becoming like Artie...damn...

**Artie Abrams: **And what's bad about being Artie, my boyfucker?

**Kurt Hummel: **That's is sexist! Boyfucker? Seriously?

**Artie Abrams: **You like to sleep men right? Specifically...you know...clueless boyfucker...and never hate Artie Abrams!

**Kurt Hummel: **Get out of this conversation, Artie!

**Artie Abrams: **Damn! I know when I'm not wanted...peace out, Artie A out!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Are peas at war? What are they fighting for? Peas's rights?

**Artie Abrams: ***facepalm* No Britt, I'm just signing out of Facebook...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **That's a weird way to sign out...

**Kurt Hummel **and **5,345 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **I'm never going on Facebook again! My kids are always Satan here!

**Mercedes Jones: **You say that yet you still go online...

**Kurt Hummel: **True that! Damn Artie!

**Will Schuester: **:(

**Kurt Hummel: **MERCEDES! JUST PM ME NOW!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Thad Stevens **to **Jordan McClaine: **Hey Jords! I got the new Criminal Minds with bonus features! Wanna watch it with me? I have popcorn and Mountain Dew! You can't say no to that! :)

**Jordan McClaine: **As much as I love Criminal Minds, I have to say no...

**Thad Stevens: **Why?

**Jordan McClaine: **Because...I'm busy...

**Thad Stevens: **Busy with what?

**Jordan McClaine: **None of your business, Thad!

**Thad Stevens: **You are my best friend, Jords! I need to know everything you do.

**Jordan McClaine: **You really wanna know what I'm doing?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes! Just tell me already! I won't get mad...unless...just tell me!

**Jordan McClaine: **is currently having sex with a bitch known as Satan.

**Santana Lopez: **It's Santana, you sex bastard.

**Jordan McClaine: **My bad...continue sucking!

**Santana Lopez: **Yes sir!

**Thad Stevens: **What the hell? What is going on here?

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm facebooking while Satan...I mean, Santana is sucking my cock off.

**Thad Stevens: **How is that even possible?

**Jordan McClaine: **Have you never heard of multi-tasking? Cause it's amazing! Like threesomes and foursomes! :)

**Thad Stevens: **I thought you said you're going to stop having constant sex for awhile? To give your cock some rest...

**Jordan McClaine: **Changed my mind. A STRAIGHT man needs to have sex to live. Sex is my freaking air, Thad.

**Thad Stevens: **right...a straight man would sleep with...women...and gay men...sleep with...men...

**Jordan McClaine: **Dude, I thought you're straight?

**Thad Stevens: **...I 'am...totally am...as straight as a ruler...

**Jordan McClaine: **So...you get why I can't hang out with you?

**Thad Stevens: **...yeah...I get it...have fun fucking Satan! :)

**Santana Lopez: **It's Santana!

**Jordan McClaine: **Satan's better!

**Santana Lopez: **Fuck you!

**Jordan McClaine: **You are!

**Thad Stevens: **I guess I should sign out...bye Jords!

**Jordan McClaine: **Okay...I can't reply now because I'm near my climax...SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK SATAN SATAN SATAN CRAP!

**Thad Stevens: **Do I really need to know his moanings? Seriously? *looks up in the sky* COME FREAKING ON!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Who are you talking too?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Who am I talking too?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jeff Jefferson **to **Trent Nicholson: **What's up, Tubby McWarblerson? :)

**Trent Nicholson: **What the hell did you just call me, JJ?

**Jeff Jefferson: **:) Tubby McWarblerson!

**Trent Nicholson: **I resent that! I 'am not TUBBY!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **No I'm not!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **No I'm not!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **No I'm not!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **No I'm not!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **No I'm not!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **No I'm not!

**Jeff Jefferson: **You are tubby in a cute way! Just like a baby's bottom...

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* please don't tell me you compared to a baby's ass...

**Jeff Jefferson: **A baby's ass is smooth...I have you know!

**Trent Nicholson: **Still...NO ONE wants to be compared to an ASS! It's incredibly insulting!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Fine, I'm sorry...I won't compare you to an ass again...

**Trent Nicholson: **Good...so...how are you and N?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Well...he's been distant to me lately...we don't hang out that much ever since I came out...I wonder why...

**Trent Nicholson: **JJ, PM me please

**Jeff Jefferson: **Uh...sure...let me just get my Chicken Wings! :)

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **

Okay, I'm just going to say it...

**Mercedes Jones:**

If this is about Darren Criss again, I 'am not in the mood.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Garfield on a Monday* when I just hear his name, I'm already in the mood for anything and I mean...ANYTHING...if you know what I mean.

**Mercedes Jones: **

I don't even want to imagine...too late...just spit it out! White boy!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm going on a date with Blaine!

**Mercedes Jones:**

WHAT! FOR REAL! YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH CURLY HAIRED WHITE BOY! THAT IS FRIGGIN GREAT KURT!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah...well...it's not...a date...actually...

**Mercedes Jones:**

Hold up! I don't understand...what do you mean?

**Kurt Hummel:**

The date is for our six month anniversary since the day we met.

**Mercedes Jones:**

*cue a whole audience awwing* Awww...for real? That is so freaking adorable! I wish David would remember small things like that...Why is Blaine the only romantic man left in the world? Even though he's as clueless as candy cane...he is a true romantic... *sighs dreamily*

**Kurt Hummel:**

What do you have against candy cane?

**Mercedes Jones:**

There too sweet for my taste buds...

**Kurt Hummel:**

*facepalm* of course they are...but it's not a REAL date...

**Mercedes Jones:**

Then why did you say yes? Clearly, this sucks and also lucky timing at the same time. Why can't you two just get together already?

**Kurt Hummel:**

After much thinking...I decided that I can't tell Blaine by myself. I'm not strong, Cedes...And I need courage...wow...how ironic...

**Mercedes Jones:**

This date is so going to end badly. You two clearly have feelings for each other and yet you two won't act upon it!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't blame me! Blame the clueless hobbit who just won't say it! 

**Mercedes Jones:**

Kurt Hummel! You cannot wait forever for Blaine to tell you! Either tell him YOUR feelings or make the man jealous!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Dom was enough for Blaine

**Mercedes Jones:**

Dom?

**Kurt Hummel:**

My cousin, apparently, Blaine has been uber jealous with the man so much that he hated his guts and loss all his dapper ways...

**Mercedes Jones:**

So Blaine is the jealous type?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah, he is.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Kurt Hummel, leave all your love problems with Auntie Cedes. I have a plan. And it involves you and your other hopeless friend to getting you dream men.

**Kurt Hummel:**

If it that involves Tater Tots, I'm already out.

**Mercedes Jones:**

It doesn't involve Tater Tots

**Kurt Hummel:**

Good. Tell me your plan after my date with Blaine.

**Mercedes Jones: **

I still think it's a bad idea going on a "date" with someone you're in love with but you two aren't together

**Kurt Hummel:**

I know...but he is paying and it is our Klaine anniversary...

**Mercedes Jones:**

Happy Klaine anniversary, Kurt! I love you! Have fun on your date!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thanks Mercedes!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson:**

JJ, who are you in love with?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Trent, I told you and Nick especially, I don't want to tell!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Why not?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Because this guy I love is...in love with someone else...

**Trent Nicholson:**

I know the feeling...

**Jeff Jefferson: **

You do?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Yeah, I'm in love with someone...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

I knew it! Who is he? What's his address?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Woah, what's with the sudden want to know act?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Well...I need to shake this man's head to help him realize that the guy he's in love with can't be compared to you...you're amazing Trent!

**Trent Nicholson:**

You're amazing too, JJ.

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Really?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Really :)

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Aww..shucks...

**Trent Nicholson:**

But JJ, I want you to spend more time with N

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Why? Why can't I spend time with you instead? I have a lot of chicken wings and Redvines we can share.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Because N is hurt...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

WHAT! Is he okay? Did he fell again? Nick is always so damn clumsy...

**Trent Nicholson:**

His broken hearted, JJ.

**Jeff Jefferson:**

What! Do you know the guy? I'll teach him a lesson to break Nick's heart.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...No...I don't who he is...but Nick will only be happy if you guys...spend time with each other...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

But I want to spend time with you, Trent! Can't Nick just come along?

**Trent Nicholson:**

NO...I'm a little too...busy...with...something...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Really? Well...I guess that just leaves me and Nick then. But if you know the name of the guy who broke Nick's heart, tell me immediately so I could kick his ass.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I promise with Joey Ritcher on top *holds up hand*

**Jeff Jefferson:**

And Redvines! And Joe Walker!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Fine, pinky swear?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Pinky swear! :)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang **to **Jordan McClaine: **YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH SANTANA!

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes

**Wes Yang: **Do you know that I'm sleeping with her?

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes

**Wes Yang: **You know, that's like sleeping with me. Me, a man.

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes...point?

**Wes Yang: **Are you sure you're straight?

**Jordan McClaine: **Fuck you, Wesley! Fuck you!

**Wes Yang: **You did! Using Santana!

**Santana Lopez: **Guys guys...the more the merrier boys! The more the merrier. I'm sleeping with both of you now. Deal with it. ;)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson: **Okay Warblers minus B and K! I call this uninformal Warbler meeting to order!

**Wes Yang: **Who gave you the authority to lead the Warblers? Answer me I say!

**Trent Nicholson: **Me

**Aaron Houghston: **Uh oh! Me is so in trouble with Wesley! Me! Hide! Before he finds you and hits your head on the walls!

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm* Okay Trent, tell us why you called us all here.

**Trent Nicholson: **I heard from D's girlfriend that K and B are going on a date at BreadStix on Friday.

**David Thompson: **Wait...what in the name of porn are you talking about, hobbit?

**Thad Stevens: **^legal proof that David is in fact a Porn Addict^

**Wes Yang, Aaron Houghston, **and **3,442,442 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **Fuck you, Thad!

**Thad Stevens: **Never going to be my type, David. Remember...I'm...straight...

**Wes Yang: ***cough* bullshit *cough*

**Jordan McClaine: **Kurt and Blaine are going on a date? Is Klaine finally happening?

**Thad Stevens: **I think so...wait a minute...I thought you were busy having sex with Santana?

**Jordan McClaine: **Who says I'm not? She's fingering me right now...so...I have...ten minutes to spare before I lose myself. So what's up?

**Thad Stevens: **Oh...well...I'm not jealous...and it's official. Facebook is the new Redtube...

**David Thompson: **Awesome!

**Jordan McClaine: **Double Awesome!

**Wes Yang: **Asian Awesome!

**Aaron Houghston: **Awe-wait for it-SOME!

**Trent Nicholson: **Can we go back to the subject here? Is it really true? Klaine is happening? Because it's about goddamn time.

**Wes Yang: **Sadly...no

**David Thompson: **What!

**Jeff Jefferson **and **243,454 **others likes this

**Jeff Jefferson: **Will Blaine be a man?

**Thad Stevens: **Technically, Blaine is a man...a gay man...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Shut up, Nerd!

**Jordan McClaine: **Hey! Don't call Thad like that! It's mean and wrong and mean! Being a nerd does not suck!

**Thad Stevens: **No need to stand up for me, Jords...since you are so busy...

**Jordan McClaine: **It's called multi-tasking genius! Maybe you should do it sometime!

**Trent Nicholson: **I hate Blaine for sticking so much to the deal.

**Aaron Houghston: **What deal?

**Nick Connors: **For the very first time in my life, I agree with Aaron. What deal?

**Trent Nicholson: **Uh...nothing...

**David Thompson: **Nothing is always a something

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't get it

**Jordan McClaine: **Of course you don't. You never do.

**Trent Nicholson: **Look guys, I just want to end this Klaine drama they have. Aren't you all sick of the Klaine tension every meeting?

**David Thompson: **Sick is so basic. I'm practically puking Klainebows when I watch them undress each other with their eyes...

**Aaron Houghston: **I like Klaine porn

**Jordan McClaine: **So do I

**Wes Yang: **All of you seriously needs help

**Thad Stevens: **So do you

**Trent Nicholson: **Guys! Who's in favor of spying on Klaine and making sure, something happens?

**Jordan McClaine: **and by something happening...you mean Klaine humping each other?

**Wes Yang: **NO! Not again! Another mental image of naked Klaine stuck in my head! You have no idea how many Lady Gaga videos I need to watch just to remove the idea! I hate you Jordan! Fuck you!

**Jordan McClaine: **Everyone wants to fuck me.

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't.

**Jordan McClaine: **Right...I believe you.

**David Thompson: **Trent, speaking as the secretary of the Warblers. I think it a pretty good idea for all of us to spy on our beloved Klaine...and make bets...right?

**Wes Yang: **All in favor of going to Klaine and betting on where it goes...like this or forever be pained by simply the memory of Mr. Bang-Bang.

**Thad Stevens, Trent Nicholson, Aaron Houghston**, and **3 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **Then it's settled! We are spying on Klaine. Now, I will be taking the bets. Let's start betting!

*************Facebook Addicts*************

**Blaine Anderson: **cannot wait for his sixth month anniversary with **Kurt Hummel **on Friday. Only two days away...

**Kurt Hummel: **I can't wait either, Blaine. Only 48 hours left. Damn clocks with their slow movement.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Another chapter has come to end...so sad...so sad...Anyway**

**First of all, yes a lot of you might be wondering where is the Bitch Crown voting and the Klaine date. Since, I try a lot to make this story longer, I decided to put it on the next chapter. I'm not mean...definitely not...mean...**

**Second of all, a lot of couple drama has happened on this chapter. **

**Jorthad**** looks, I repeat, LOOKS like it's not going to happen but if you read clearly, you can see Jordan in denial of his...feelings for Thad and decided to sleep with Santana to remember his straightness while Thad is jealous and is hurt by Jordan's actions.**

**Klaine**** again is the featured couple because they just announced their "date" with their best friends who have different assumes and opinions about it. If you read Kurcedes PM conversation, it is hinting on another jealous Blaine to come. Again, I told you guys I want to prolong this story so Klaine will also be prolonged...but don't worry...the Klaine moments are worth it. **

**Wentana**** also showed up, also another spoiler for where Wes and Santana are going. **

**Treneff ****, the Warbler Love Triangle was also featured though Nick was mostly out of it. Trent is trying to make Nick happy by giving and asking Jeff to spend time with him. Based on the reviews I got last week, most of you have guessed correctly. Jeff is in love with Trent Nicholson. What? I wanted a love triangle and I think it's appropriate. Jeff is clearly in love with Trent but Trent is in love with Nick, who is hopelessly in love with Jeff. Weird. So much drama. The other couples dramatic lives stayed in tact but in the next chapters...things will get ugly...**

**Third of all and MOST IMPORTANT: You guys all know I update this story every week. Sadly, I will NOT be updating for the next two weeks. Why? Because I have a three day test coming along and I need to study because I'm holding on a scholarship. As much as I love to write Klaine all day, I need to think of my future too. So...**

**This does not mean I'm ending this story. Never going to happen until I hit 500 reviews at least. So, I hope all of you would understand and wait for the next update next next week. Please? With a Naked Darren Criss chained in bed on top? No one can resist a Naked Darren Criss! **

**FAVORITE PART: Kurt and Blaine telling Mercedes and Wes about their date. Priceless. Also, the penis size conversation in the beginning.**

**FAVORITE QUOTE and QUOTER: Klaine: **

**Blaine Anderson: "**Okay. I 'AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY PENIS ON FACEBOOK!"

**Kurt Hummel: "**Damn..."

**I laughed my ass off when I thought of this. Seriously, still laughing.**

**While I'm gone I want you all my lovely readers to do something for me:**

**Review and tell me the favorite part and quote**

**and**

**Give me prompts! Yes! Since sometimes I'm running out of ideas. I desperately need your help to come up with topics to discuss or events to happen on Facebook. Like...Kurt kidnapping Darren Criss and chaining on his bed...that could happen...in my dreams it can...so why not here?**

**I will try my hardest to do all of your prompts and the craziest and funniest ideas will ALWAYS happen. I promise you all! So...give me crazy ideas to do! And Gleek Facebook will never end!**

**Thanks again my lovely and amazing readers! You make me all happy! Also, the 100 likes at Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang page on Facebook! 100! My God! I'm so happy! I love you all Facebookers, Alerters, Reviewers, Favoriters, and Readers! And it's sad that I won't making you guys laugh your ass off for the next two weeks but the next chapters will be much crazier and wackier...that I can promise. **

_Commercial:_

_Aww man! No Gleek Facebook for two weeks! That sucks! Oh well. So, will the Klaine date be a sucess? Who do you think is the next gay guy in ND? Will Jeff ever realize that Nick's in love with him? Will Trent ever realize that Jeff's in love with him? Will Nick realize that Trent's in love with him? Will this crazy Warbler triangle ever end? God! I hope so! I'm getting tired of talking about them. Will William stop eye fucking Emma? Even I know that will never happen...Will Jordan just go bi and fuck Thad already? And with Santana and Wesley? Will a Satan and an Asian ever work as a couple? Then their nickname will be Sasian...weird...but...hey...I don't write this stuff...the crazy BM22Owenstina does..._

_Sadly, tune in the next two weeks for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook!_

_The good news is that's 14 days away! Now I'll be counting the seconds...59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54..._

**All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! Bye! **


	14. K&B Anniversary, Jorwentana, and Shock T

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: How many sorry's can someone say? Well, that's how many I want to say. SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! **

**It's project season in my school this month. All projects for my classes were given and needs to be pass this month too. I became so overwhelmed, I didn't have time to write anything. I'm so sorry. I hope you guys don't hate me so much that I didn't update in like...forever...I'm so sorry. **

**I'm also sorry for the number of people who are experiencing Gleek Facebook withdrawal. Somewhere in the far state of Clovis, Chris Colfer is shaking his head at me. I feel so ashamed.**

**Okay, enough of hating myself... **

**THIS IS A WARBLER ONLY CHAPTER! NEXT CHAPTER WOULD BE NEW DIRECTIONS!**

**Also, a lot of you are confused with the Treneff love triangle so here it is:**

**Trent Nicholson likes Nick Connors. Nick Connors likes Jeff Jefferson. Jeff Jefferson likes Trent Nicholson and food. There you go people! :)**

**Theme: **Comedy and Drama

**Warning: Rated T/M for foul language and private parts talked about.**

**Dedication: I dedicate this to my 300th reviewer, ****AbAguilarMicciaPassion,**** and to all my faithful readers! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. But I own a number of naked pictures of Chris Colfer and Darren Criss! Hell Yeah! No naked Justin Bieber pictures though...I value my eyesight. **

**Enjoy the chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook! :)**

*************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Fourteen:**

**The K&B Anniversary, Jorwentana, and Shock T**

**Santana Lopez: **Where is Dr. McSexy when you need him?

**Mercedes Jones: **Who's Dr. McSexy?

**David Thompson: **She's definitely talking about me! Right Satan?

**Lauren Zizes: **BARF!

**Kurt Hummel, Santana Lopez, **and **423 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **No, I wasn't talking about you, Porn Addict!

**Mercedes Jones: **Wait, what did you just call Dark Chocolate?

**David Thompson: **Tater Tots! Don't listen to her! She has a devil inside her!

**Kurt Hummel: **Correction: She's the devil herself.

**Santana Lopez: **That's right pear hips! I'm the devil herself and I said your boy toy is addicted to boy to girl action! WANKY WANKY! ;)

**Mercedes Jones: **O_O Is that true Dark Chocolate?

**David Thompson: **Well...you see...well...um...

**Mercedes Jones: **You watch hotter women sleep with hotter men! Am I not hot enough for you?

**David Thompson: **What! Mercedes, you're the hottest chick I've ever met!

**Mercedes Jones: **Tell that to my not hot hand! *gesturing "talk to the hand"* I'm not talking to you!

**David Thompson: **Babe! Wait! Let me explain! Damn you Satan! *walks out*

**Santana Lopez: **My pleasure! *evil smirk*

**Kurt Hummel: **Pear hips? PEAR HIPS? I do not have pear hips, Santana! I have awesome hips!

**Santana Lopez: **Your hips are like a girl's, Hummel. Why do you think a lot of girls want to tap that?

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Santana Lopez: **Well, I'm off. Toodles! *signs off*

**Kurt Hummel: **...I have the hips of a girl? :(

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, don't be sad about what Santana said. I think your hips are supermegafoxyawesomeHOT! Emphasizing the word HOT! Satan might just be jealous of your VERY HOT hips.

**Kurt Hummel: **Really?

**Blaine Anderson: **Of course! Do you know how many men would love to grind his hips to yours?

**Kurt Hummel: **Well...

**Blaine Anderson: **Or how many men would want to pull your legs apart?

**Kurt Hummel: **Wait...what?

**Blaine Anderson: **Or how many men would want to be on top of you and place open mouth kisses on your naked chest?

**Kurt Hummel: **Um...Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson: **Or how many men would flip and have their wicked way with you?

**Kurt Hummel: **BLAINE!

**Blaine Anderson: **What?

**Kurt Hummel: **You're giving too graphic details of me being intimate with men on Facebook. It's kind of...weird...

**Blaine Anderson: **...oops...sorry Kurt...my mind just...went...haywire...I guess...*blushing*

**Kurt Hummel: **It's okay. I think way too graphical than you do.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O Really?

**Kurt Hummel: **Duh

**Blaine Anderson: **So...curiosity kicking in...who's the guy you think of...you know...doing those things with...

**Kurt Hummel: **That's too much information for you, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **I'll live, Kurt. Heck, I lived when I found out how babies were made.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **We were made by storks! Right dolphin?

**Kurt Hummel: ***Gay facepalm* Right boo

**Blaine Anderson: ***Katy Perry facepalm* Tell me, Kurt. Who's the lucky guy?

**Kurt Hummel: **Well...he's cute and hot and older than me...

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert goofy smile* and? What else?

**Kurt Hummel: **He loves music and can play five different instruments. Piano, Drums, Saxophone, Guitar, and Violin.

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* He's talking about me! Kurt thinks of having sex with me! So freaking awesome! *cough* What else?

**Kurt Hummel: **He has curly hair that I adore and hazel eyes that I get lost into every time I see them.

**Blaine Anderson: **That's sweet...what else?

**Kurt Hummel: **He is half-Filipino and Half-Irish

**Blaine Anderson: ***cough* I'm so happy I'm Asian right now, I now feel what Mike feels. *cough* And?

**Kurt Hummel: **He writes awesome songs and I love the meaning in each everyone of them.

**Blaine Anderson: **:) And?

**Kurt Hummel: **He has the best body I've ever seen in a man. So...freaking...hairy...

**Blaine Anderson: **...wait a minute, you haven't seen me naked...yet, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **What are you talking about Blaine? I thought you want me to describe the guy I think of doing those things?

**Blaine Anderson: **Who exactly are you talking about?

**Kurt Hummel: **Duh! Darren Criss! Who else?

**Blaine Anderson: ***face-for the love of that's all gay and holy-palm* HIM AGAIN! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME! 

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm not kidding you, who do you think I was describing?

**Wes Yang: **Stupid and makes-deals-that-ruins-his-love-life hobbit

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, Wesley!

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh...*blushing like crazy*

**Blaine Anderson: **You can't blame me for not imagining myself. Considering I look like Darren Criss with my curly hair and hazel eyes and my awesomeness in music.

**Wes Yang: **Doesn't that mean Kurt is having sex dreams of both you and Darren Criss, since you two looks so alike, he may combine you two.

**Blaine Anderson: **You have a point, Wesley

**Kurt Hummel: ***blushing to the point of no return* Um...I...I'm...I'm...not...having...sex...sex...sex dreams...of...of...you...Blaine...

**Wes Yang: **Understatement of the century :D

**Kurt Hummel: **This is so awkward...Blaine, I'll see you later on our friend date. I need to...I need to do...something...bye *walks out dramatically.*

**Wes Yang: **I bet you million dollars and a donkey's ass that Blaine wants that ^friend^ in that sentence to be crossed out or deleted or be fucked off by himself.

**Blaine Anderson: **What the fuck? Donkey's ass? Seriously? What do you have against Shrek's best friend?

**Wes Yang: **Nothing...none of your business, HOBBIT!

**Aaron Houghston: **You have a million dollars? Wow! You are so rich, Wes! Can you buy me candy?

**Wes Yang: ***face-for the love of my sanity-palm*

**Blaine Anderson: **Now ^that^ is the understatement of the century, considering your insane. :)

**Wes Yang: **At least I'm not the one Kurt's having sex dreams of.

**Blaine Anderson: **I take that as a compliment, Wesley and my main competition for Kurt's affections is Darren Criss. I so hate that man. I hate him with a burning passion.

**Wes Yang: **And yet, no man or woman is not attracted to Darren Criss

**Blaine Anderson: **Then I'm the only man who is not attracted to that man. What does Kurt see in him?

**Wes Yang: ***shrugs* You can't blame Kurt, Darren is hot.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* I'm seriously doubting your sexuality.

**Wes Yang: **You always do. It's because of your attraction to me.

**Blaine Anderson: ***makes face* Ew...I've got to go get ready for my "friend" date with Kurt.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jordan McClaine **to **Santana Lopez: **I'm sorry, Satan. I just got your text. What's up?

**Santana Lopez: **I need you inside me...NOW!

**Jordan McClaine: **You sound like a five month pregnant woman. So not a turn on...besides, I don't want to fuck you today.

**Santana Lopez: **I need to get my Dr. McSexy on! Stat!

**Jordan McClaine: **Ask Wesley! He's available!

**Santana Lopez: **You're better in bed than him

**Jordan McClaine: **That's true

**Santana Lopez: ***evil grin* Come on Jordan! We can do a quickie if you want?

**Jordan McClaine: **Even Quickies I don't want to do right now...

**Santana Lopez: **Is something wrong?

**Jordan McClaine: **...nothing...I just don't want to have sex...

**Santana Lopez: **The time Jordan McClaine does not want to have sex is the time the world is about to end.

**Aaron Houghston: **THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END! NO! WHO'S GOING TO FEED LADY TUBINGTON!

**Jordan McClaine: ***face-for the love of my penis-palm* Get off my wall, Aaron!

**Aaron Houghston: **I'm not on your wall...I'm inside my dorm room

**Santana Lopez:** You and Boo need to get together

**Aaron Houghston: **I do not want to get together with a ghost! Especially with the name boo!

**Jordan McClaine: ***facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jeff Jefferson **to **Trent Nicholson: **Hey Chubby McWarblerson! How's it cooking?

**Trent Nicholson: **Okay...first of all...STOP CALLING ME THAT! Second of all...I'm not cooking...

**Jeff Jefferson: **:) Just messing with you Chubby ;)

**Trent Nicholson: **STOP CALLING ME THAT, JJ! IT'S VERY ANNOYING!

**Jeff Jefferson: **:( I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

**Trent Nicholson: **Well you did! Why are you so close with me all the time? You usually don't bother me at all!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Is it bad that I want to be next to you?

**Trent Nicholson: **Yes! I don't want you near me, JJ. Go hang out with N. He's available and he'll love your presence.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Why are you always asking me to hang out with Nick? Why don't you spend time with me like you with Nick? What's so good about Nick?

**Trent Nicholson: **N might be crazy and clueless and child-like sometimes but he is an amazing man, JJ. Don't you ever ask me what's good about N! What gives you right!

**Jeff Jefferson: **...I've got to go... *signs out*

**Trent Nicholson: **is so furious right and needs to cool off...

**Jordan McClaine: **Okay...hold the fuck off...who did you fuck that you need to cool off? I need DETAILS!

**Trent Nicholson: ***face-for the love of N-palm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang: **Alright guys I'll be leading this Warbler meeting minus Warblers Kurt, Blaine, and Trent.

**Nick Connors: **Where's Trent?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Must be protecting someone clueless and child-like and has an ongoing unrequited love affair with the gayest seventeen year old in the world, Justin Gayber.

**Nick Connors: **What's that suppose to mean, Jeff?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Oh, I think you know

**Nick Connors: **No I don't know

**Jeff Jefferson: **Stop messing with me

**Nick Connors: **I ain't messing with you

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are

**Nick Connors: **I'm not

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are

**Nick Connors: **I'm not

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are

**Nick Connors: **I'm not

**Jeff Jefferson: **Yes you are

**Nick Connors: **I'm not

**David Thompson: **WOULD YOU GUYS STOP DOING THAT AND LISTENING TO WES!

**Nick Connors: **Jeff started it

**Jeff Jefferson: **Blame the gay seventeen year old

**David Thompson: ***face-for-the-love-of-Tater-tots-if-she-ever-returns-my-phone-calls-palm* Wes, proceed.

**Wes Yang: **Alright, Trent should be leading this meeting but since I can't find the guy...

**Jordan McClaine: **He's cooling off...he just had sex! Can you believe it? Chubby McWarblerson had sex? Amazing right?

**Jeff Jefferson: **HEY! BACK OFF JORDAN!

**Jordan McClaine: **Back off of what? You're asshole?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Not my type genius! Only I can call Trent, Chubby McWarblerson!

**Jordan McClaine: **And who are you? The nickname police?

**David Thompson: **I'M GETTING TIRED WITH ALL OF YOU! SICK AND DEAD TIRED! WOULD YOU GUYS STOP FIGHTING AND LET WES TALK! OR SO HELP ME GRILLED CHEESUS, I WILL TORTURE YOU SOON WITH MY SO AMAZING NINJA ABILITIES!

**Thad Stevens: **Why are you so high blood and angry? Are you getting laid?

**David Thompson:** :(SHUT UP STEVENS!

**Wes Yang: **Thad, David is having problems with his girlfriend. Mind not give him enough pain about it?

**Thad Stevens: **Fudgemuffins, I'm sorry, David.

**David Thompson: **No need for any pity with my problems! Wes, for my sake, please just tell us what you want to tell us.

**Wes Yang: **Fine. Trent want us to spy on the Klaine "friend"date .

**David Thompson: **We already made bets for that right?

**Nick Connors: **I bet $50 Kurt will be the first to admit his feelings.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I bet $80 the food won't be touched

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm* I bet $120 that Blaine will be the first to admit.

**David Thompson: **I bet $70 they won't admit their feelings and would basically eye fuck each other over the date

**Wes Yang: **I bet on that too!

**David Thompson: **Dream on Asian Loser! :P

**Aaron Houghston: **I bet $5 that Blaine and Kurt will make dolphin babies! :)

**David Thompson: ***face-my-aching-forehead-palm* Aaron, you are spending too much time with Brittany.

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't get what you just said. I just want Kurt and Blaine to make a lot of dolphin babies for the oceans and sea. Did you know that dolphins are getting closer to saying bye bye to the world? Poor dolphins...

**David Thompson: ***shakes his head from disbelief and pain in his forehead*

**Jordan McClaine: **I bet $90 that Kurt and Blaine would have sex on their table for too much Klaine sexual tension. Bow chicka bow wow! ;)

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* Of course that would be your bet, no one's surprised. I'm betting $60 that Kurt and Blaine won't admit their feelings but would dance on their date.

**Wes Yang: **Impossible since BreadStix does not have a dance floor.

**David Thompson: **Yes they do

**Wes Yang: **really? I've been there so much times because of Santana. I never noticed it.

**Thad Stevens: **Then you're Asian blind. I know Kurt. He's a romantic and Blaine would use dancing as a way to connect with Kurt. Heck, that would lead them to have their bodies against each other.

**Jordan McClaine: **That would lead them to hot Klaine sex afterwards. Bow Chicka bow wow! ;)

**Thad Stevens: **Do you have anything in your mind besides sex?

**Jordan McClaine: **Nope, I have sex on the brain and on my groins.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: **I bet $70 K and B won't admit their feelings for each other but someone from the two would kiss the other. I could feel it.

**Jordan McClaine: **Can you feel it in your groins? Because then that would come true. Trust your groins.

**Thad Stevens: **You are disgusting

**Jordan McClaine: **:P

**Wes Yang: **Trent! Where have you been? You know it's against the rules in being late in a Warblers practice! If I have Mr. Bang-Bang right now, you would be in a lot of pain.

**Jordan McClaine: **And yet you don't, you don't have him.

**Wes Yang: **SHUT UP JORDAN!

**Trent Nicholson: **I...was...just...busy...

**Jeff Jefferson: **With the guy you love

**Nick Connors: **You're in love, Trent?

**Trent Nicholson: **JJ! I told you that was a secret!

**Jeff Jefferson: **I'm not the only one who's keeping secrets! *cough* Trent, the most secretive gay I know *cough*

**Trent Nicholson: **What is your problem JJ?

**Jeff Jefferson: **You! Not telling any of your secrets! You act like an FBI agent hiding the secrets of the country.

**Aaron Houghston: **Trent's an FBI agent? How come I found about this now? He knows a lot of secrets about me! Oh no!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Oh for the love of God Aaron! Would you please take your stupidity else where!

**Aaron Houghston: **What's stupidity?

**Jeff Jefferson: **UGH!

**Nick Connors: **What's wrong with you, Jeff?

**Jeff Jefferson: **What's wrong with you! Clearly Trent wants to spend more time with you than me!

**Nick Connors: **What the heck are you talking about? We're best friends, we spend time with each other equally.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Well that's not happening.

**Trent Nicholson: **JJ, would you please PM me later so we could talk. Gay to gay.

**Nick Connors: **Hey I'm joining

**Jeff Jefferson: **NO!

**Wes Yang: **What the hell is happening to the Warblers? Can we stop all the hate and think of Klainebows? Apparently, even though Kurt and Blaine have the most dramatic lives in the Warblers, they don't hate and shout at each other. The hate stops here people! I don't want to see anyone fighting especially on Facebook! Are we clear?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Fine

**Thad Stevens **and **31 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Good! Meeting adjourned!

**Jordan McClaine: **Alright! Time to have sex with Santana! :D

**Wes Yang: **We need to talk.

**Jordan McClaine: **Alright, PM the way.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jordan McClaine: **

What's up Wes?

**Wes Yang:**

I want you to stop sleeping with Santana

**Jordan McClaine: **

Why?

**Wes Yang: **

Because I said so

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why?

**Wes Yang:**

Because Mr. Bang-Bang said so

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why?

**Wes Yang: **

Because Darren Criss said so

**Jordan McClaine:**

First of all, I'm not Kurt! Second of all, Why?

**Wes Yang: **

Because Katy Perry said so

**Jordan McClaine:**

Again, I'm not Blaine! Why?

**Wes Yang:**

Because Michelle Obama said so

**Jordan McClaine:**

Okay...why is the First Lady's name even part of this PM conversation?

**Wes Yang:**

I don't know I'm running out of smart people's names

**Jordan McClaine:**

...Blaine is smart?

**Wes Yang:**

Cluelessly smart

**Jordan McClaine:**

Oh...seriously Wes, why?

**Wes Yang:**

Because you are just using Santana to stop thinking of the fact that you might like someone of the same sex.

**Jordan McClaine:**

What the fuck are you talking about?

**Wes Yang:**

Here we go again. You are using swearing words because you're in denial

**Jordan McClaine:**

What am I fucking in denial about?

**Wes Yang:**

Your feelings for Thad

**Jordan McClaine:**

Are you fucking kidding me? Thad and I are just fucking friends.

**Wes Yang:**

I know for a fact you like him but you don't want to admit that you might be going gay.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I'm not homophobic, plus I love gay porn but I'm very sure of my sexuality. I'm fucking straight!

**Wes Yang:**

I have no idea why you are lying to yourself, Jordan

**Jordan McClaine:**

I 'am not lying to myself, Wes! In fact, you are the one who's lying to yourself.

**Wes Yang: **

What are you talking about?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Me and my relationship with Thad is not the reason why you want me to stop sleeping with her. It's her. She's the reason. You have a crush!

**Wes Yang:**

What the fuck are you talking about?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Look who's swearing. Clearly in denial.

**Wes Yang:**

Don't change the subject Jordan!

**Jordan McClaine:**

I'm not. You have a crush on her!

**Wes Yang:**

No I don't

**Jordan McClaine:**

Okay fine...YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER! 

**Wes Yang:**

I think you're too much use of your penis left your brain useless to think sensible

**Jordan McClaine:**

NO BLAMING OF PENISES!

**Wes Yang:**

Can we not talk about Penises?

**Jordan McClaine:**

You started it

**Wes Yang:**

Who started telling me I'm in love with Santana

**Jordan McClaine:**

You just admit it, Asian moron!

**Wes Yang:**

Shit! No I didn't!

**Jordan McClaine:**

:P

**Wes Yang:**

How could I be in love with the bitchiest and rudest bitch I've ever met? The only thing good about her is sex! She doesn't talk about feelings! She's always wants to hurt people...heck...she even have plans to hurt people! She has RAZORS IN HAIR! Fucking RAZORS! And she hinders my Asian penis from working after sex! HINDERS IT! I'm so not in love with that girl.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Dude, you are so in love with that bitch

**Wes Yang:**

No I'm not! Would you stop acting like a broken record?

**Jordan McClaine:**

As the old saying goes, "The more you hate the more you love"

**Wes Yang:**

Since when does Jordan McClaine believe in sayings?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Since...maybe...maybe...I 'am...doubting myself...

**Wes Yang:**

Aha! So you are gay for Thad!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Maybe I'm bi...I'm still attracted to women especially their boobs...it's just that...Thad is the first guy I'm protective off. Like his made of glass or something

**Wes Yang:**

You have just admit that you like Thad! Congratulations! :)

**Jordan McClaine:**

Maybe I do...but I'm not in love with Thad! I like him but I'm not gay for him. I'm not sure if I'm bi. Maybe it's because I'm stuck in a school full of men...

**Jordan McClaine:**

Now, you need to admit or tell Santana what you feel

**Wes Yang:**

I don't feel anything but a boner with Santana

**Jordan McClaine:**

If you are lying, I 'am seriously going to kidnap Mr. Bang-Bang from his grave.

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Jordan McClaine:**

So tell me!

**Wes Yang:**

FINE! MAYBE I 'AM! I've been jealous of you ever since I found out she's sleeping with both of us! I've been in denial of my feelings! HAPPY!

**Jordan McClaine:**

As happy as Lindsay Lohan was when was doing cocaine and still doing it until now.

**Wes Yang:**

Fuck you Jordan. I hope you go to hell for taking too many virginities of women.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Gladly, now all you need is to tell it to her

**Wes Yang:**

NO NO! Because then she'll know that I like her! And you always know that you don't tell a girl that you like her because it makes you look like an idiot!

**Jordan McClaine: **

I know you're an idiot, Wes.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Wait a minute...hold the fuck up...did you just quote AVPM?

**Wes Yang:**

Damn Kurt, he made me watch it.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Awww...Darren Criss would be proud...

**Wes Yang:**

Eww...Darren

**Jordan McClaine:**

Since when do you hate Darren Criss? Did you Kurt know is going to kill you if he finds out about this?

**Wes Yang:**

Blaine talks in his sleep. He mostly talks about ways to hate Darren Criss. I found myself believing them so now I hate his guts. Anyway, tell Kurt and I'll tell Thad.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Don't you fucking dare! Well then, I'll tell Santana!

**Wes Yang:**

Don't you dare!

**Jordan McClaine:**

We have an agreement then. No telling

**Wes Yang:**

Fine, and you'll stop sleeping with her?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Fine, Santana's all yours. Time for me to sleep with Cream

**Wes Yang:**

*Asian facepalm*

*************Facebook Addicts************

**Trent Nicholson: **Operation spy on Klaine and get-a-huge-amount-money is on bitches!

**David Thompson: **Don't you mean bastards?

**Trent Nicholson: **Same definition

**Wes Yang: **No they aren't. Bitches are for girls. Bastards for boys.

**Trent Nicholson: **Whatever, Bittards! Mix of bitch and bastards.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Hey guys! Kurt and Blaine are here! Hide!

**Wes Yang: **Nice that your back to your old self, Jeff.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Shut up, Asian

**Wes Yang: **Okay you're not back. Also, racist!

**Jordan McClaine: **WOW! Kurt looks so hot in his black skin tight jeans. Are those painted on? Damn.

**Thad Stevens: **It doesn't look that hot...

**David Thompson: **I'm straight and yet I find myself fascinated with Kurt's tight jeans.

**Nick Connors: **Would you look at that ass?

**Trent Nicholson: **Damn, my brister is on fire. *fanning himself*

**Wes Yang: **Are you all gay? Am I the only straight Warbler left?

**David Thompson: **You're the gayest of us all!

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, Porn Addict!

**David Thompson: **Fuck you!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Blaine looks alright. Except his hair does not resemble hair

**Aaron Houghston: **It looks like Hurricane Katrina hit it

**Nick Connors: **My sentiments exactly

**Thad Stevens: **Okay, someone needs to get near them so that we could hear what their talking about. I volunteer Trent since he talked us into doing this

**Wes Yang: **Who's in favor of Trent?

**David Thompson, Aaron Houghston, **and **5 **others likes this

**Trent Nicholson: **Fine I'll listen.

**Jeff Jefferson: **So, what's happening in the world of Klaine?

**Trent Nicholson: **Kurt's talking about the latest Vogue edition while Blaine's eye fucking him.

**Wes Yang: **He is definitely eye fucking. His eyes are on Kurt's chest, he must be undressing them.

**Jordan McClaine: **Hot!

**David Thompson: **Are you seriously not gay?

**Jordan McClaine: **Are you seriously not a porn addict?

**David Thompson: **Fuck you

**Jordan McClaine: **Anytime, any place ;)

**Trent Nicholson: **OMFJR!

**Aaron Houghston: **What is OMFJR?

**Nick Connors: **Let me guess! It's Oh My Fucking Joey Ritcher

**Trent Nicholson: **You're right N!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Beginner's luck...

**Thad Stevens: **What's with the OMFJR?

**Trent Nicholson: **Klaine is holding hands! I repeat Klaine is holding hands!

**Jordan McClaine: **Bow chicka bow wow!

**Wes Yang: **Jordan!

**Jeff Jefferson: **OMFJW!

**Trent Nicholson: **Oh My Fucking Joe Walker indeed!

**Wes Yang: **All of you are seriously problemed Starkids

**Jeff Jefferson: **BURN THE STARKID HATER! BURN HIM I SAY!

**Nick Connors: **What's with the OMFJW, Jeff?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Kurt and Blaine are ordering...FOOD!

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

**Nick Connors: ***facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: ***facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*Jeff, you are back to yourself. Your insane self that is.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Shut up! I'm just hungry...

**Trent Nicholson: **I have Redvines. Want some?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Who can say no to Redvines?

**Nick Connors: **Me

**Jordan McClaine: **Do you seriously want to go back to Utah and be with your grandmother?

**Nick Connors: ***shakes head from fear* I do not want to go back there. My grandmother feeds me raw food there and makes me drink red stuff that looks like blood.

**David Thompson: **Is grandmother a vampire?

**Nick Connors: **That might be possible considering she kisses me on the neck and never on the lips

**Jeff Jefferson: **Ew...

**Trent Nicholson: **Klaine has officially gone boring. There talking about Kurt's friends in McKinley and us.

**Wes Yang: **Who are they talking about?

**Trent Nicholson: **You! And your craziness

**Wes Yang: **Damn them...

**[After Two Hours of Boring Klaine...]**

**Thad Stevens: **OMFJM!

**Wes Yang: **Okay...now what does that mean?

**Jordan McClaine: **Duh! Oh My Fucking Joe Moses!

**Thad Stevens: **Jords correct

**Wes Yang: **Why do all of you want to fuck a Starkid actor?

**Trent Nicholson: **Because Darren, Joey, Joe, and Joe are supermegafoxyawesomeHOT!

**Jordan McClaine, Jeff Jefferson, **and **3,243,242 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **Jordan, what's with the OMFJM?

**Jordan McClaine: **Blaine just asked Kurt to dance with him!

**Trent Nicholson: **What!

**Thad Stevens: **I win the bets bittards! Hooray! Take that John McCain!

**Jordan McClaine: **What's your problem with John McCain?

**Thad Stevens: **He was the hugest bastard president in the history of USA. I hate him with a burning passion.

**David Thompson: **Wow, Kurt and Blaine are really close. As in, no space with them.

**Trent Nicholson: **So sweet

**Nick Connors: **I love that Blaine has his arms around Kurt. He looks like his holding on to Kurt forever. Le sigh...

**Jeff Jefferson: **They look so in love.

**Aaron Houghston: **They fit perfectly together. Perfect dolphins

**Wes Yang: **is puking Klainebows from all the Klaine sweetness

**Jordan McClaine: **They are so close to each other, I'm pretty sure their cocks are pressing against each other. I can see Blaine's eyes rolling in the back of his mind.

**Thad Stevens: **Jordan! You just ruined the moment!

**Jordan McClaine: **Not for me, the moment got more exciting. Come on Blaine! Get your Kurt on! For the love of my cock!

**Aaron Houghston: **Is it me? Or does Blaine look like his going to kiss Kurt?

**Nick Connors: **Second time I'm agreeing with Aaron. Are you sure you're Aaron?

**Aaron Houghston: **Who's Aaron?

**Nick Connors: ***Justin Bieber facepalm* Yup. Blaine definitely looks like his going to kiss Kurt.

**Wes Yang: **Grow some fucking balls, Blaine! Just kiss him!

**Jeff Jefferson: **KISS THE BOY!

**Trent Nicholson **and **753,295 others **likes this

**Thad Stevens: **OMG! It's going to happen.

**Trent Nicholson: **Prepare your money gentlemen

**David Thompson: **Count down people!

**Aaron Houghston: **Teen!

**Nick Connors: **Nine

**Aaron Houghston: **Ate

**Jeff Jefferson: **Seven

**Jordan McClaine: **Sex!

**Thad Stevens: **JORDAN!

**Jordan McClaine: **Fine, Six

**Thad Stevens: **Five

**Trent Nicholson: **Four

**Aaron Houghston: **Tree

**David Thompson: **Two

**Wes Yang: **One

**Trent Nicholson: **OMFJR! THEY KISSED! THEY FINALLY KISSED! OMFJR!

**Wes Yang: **Finally!

**Aaron Houghston: **Bow Chicka bow wow!

**Jordan McClaine: **Hey! That's my line!

**Thad Stevens: **Wanky

**Jordan McClaine: **Hey! That's my line too! Stop stealing my lines!

**Trent Nicholson: **They kiss so sweetly

**David Thompson: **This is so going on YouTube

**Nick Connors: **Don't you mean RedTube?

**David Thompson: **Shut up Connors!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Wow they are kissing for a long time...

**Wes Yang: **I'm happy no one's disturbing their moment.

**Nick Connors: **Woah...they are really kissing for a long time...

**Jordan McClaine: **First comes kiss then sex then constant Klaine sex...

**Thad Stevens: **Jordan!

**Wes Yang: **Oh look, they've stop.

**Trent Nicholson: **There looking at each other longingly...so adorable and cute...please don't go through the deal Blaine. Please take a chance on Kurt and break your promise to me.

**Thad Stevens: **What are you talking about? What deal?

**Trent Nicholson: **Uh...nothing...

**Jordan McClaine: **OMFJW! Blaine just walked out! WTF!

**Trent Nicholson: **What!

**Wes Yang: **Blaine just left Kurt standing on the dance floor! Where the hell is Blaine going?

**Aaron Houghston: **Maybe his going to pee?

**David Thompson: **Do not blame his pea sized bladder.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Look at Kurt. He looks so shock and confused. WTF is wrong with Blaine?

**Thad Stevens: **There has been something wrong with Blaine ever since we met him. No guy could have that many hair gel in his hair and be normal

**Wes Yang: **Well gentlemen, looks like we need to prepare ourselves for more Klaine tension. This time this tension would make us leave the common room, unable to live with the tension.

**Aaron Houghston: **Poor dolphins...

************Facebook Addicts************

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Trent, you there?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Look JJ, I'm going to ask you straightforward. What the hell is going on with you?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Nothing

**Trent Nicholson:**

This is not nothing, JJ. This is something. Your acting like a piece of shit right now. There is something wrong with you.

**Jeff Jefferson:**

I'm not eating well

**Trent Nicholson:**

I doubt that

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Fine, I'm sorry for acting such a piece of shit. I'm sorry but I'm jealous.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Jealous? Of who?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Nick

**Trent Nicholson:**

N? What are you jealous of N?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Because you love N

**Trent Nicholson:**

O_O Who told you that?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

No one needs to tell me. I'm not stupid Trent. I know how to observe and I've seen the way you look and talk to him. There is always longing. You long to be with him. Nick's the guy you're in love with.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...I...please don't tell him...please...he likes another guy...not me...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

His not the only one...

**Trent Nicholson:**

What's that suppose to mean?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

I love you

**Trent Nicholson:**

O_O What?

**Jeff Jefferson: **

I love you, Trent. You're the guy I'm in love with. You're the guy who made me gay for sure. I'm in love with you.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Me? You're in love with Chubby McWarblerson? A fat base guy.

**Jeff Jefferson:**

You're more than that Trent. Ever since our chemistry project together, I can't help but think of you in this way.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...I have...I'm speechless JJ. I never imagined I'm the Warbler you're in love with.

**Jeff Jefferson:**

Well you are but...you're in love with Nick. It hurts me that you look longingly at him and not at me. How I wish to be him.

**Trent Nicholson:**

JJ, I like you. I like you a lot. But...N...is...well...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

I get it. I get that you love him and not me. I get it. I'm not clueless like Blaine.

**Trent Nicholson:**

So...what's going to happen between us?

**Jeff Jefferson:**

*shrugs* I don't know. But I'm not saying I'm going to stop loving you. Quite the opposite actually.

**Trent Nicholson:**

...I don't know JJ...I love..N...I like you...I... I'm leaving for awhile...I need to leave...bye...

**Jeff Jefferson:**

I love you, bye! :(

************Facebook Addicts************

**Wes Yang:**

Santana, I want you to stop sleeping with Jordan.

**Santana Lopez:**

Why? Since when did you own my vagina?

**Wes Yang:**

I just want you to stop.

**Santana Lopez:**

And what if I don't want to stop sleeping with Jordan?

**Wes Yang:**

Then you need to choose between me and Jordan. But let me tell you this, Jordan is in love with someone. And someone in love and not with you will ruin the sex. You are not going to have a good time with Jordan.

**Santana Lopez:**

What about you? Are you in love?

**Wes Yang:**

...no...no...I'm not in love with anyone...

**Santana Lopez:**

Fine then I choose you. Come to my house right now. ;)

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah...sure...I'm not in love with anyone...I'm coming Santana...

************Facebook Addicts************

**David Thompson **to **Mercedes Jones: **Mercedes, please talk to me. My addiction to porn stopped when we started to date. Fine, I admit that I use to love porn but...that's because I'm jealous of the people there. They could be intimate with someone. I've never been intimate with someone. For me, it's not about the pleasure I like but the way people connect. Mercedes, I'm so sorry...I'm so so sorry...

**Mercedes Jones: **I'm sorry too.

**David Thompson: **Why are you sorry? You don't watch porn like I do

**Mercedes Jones: **Well...

**David Thompson: **OMG! You watch porn!

**Mercedes Jones: **For the reason you have as well

**David Thompson: **But you're a girl!

**Mercedes Jones: ***bitch glare* is there a problem with a girl watching boy to girl, girl to girl, and boy to boy action?

**David Thompson: **Uh...well...no...

**Mercedes Jones: **David, do you think we're ready?

**David Thompson: **Ready for what?

**Mercedes Jones: **Sex

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **Bow chicka bow wow!

**Noah Puckerman: **Get some!

**Santana Lopez: **Wanky

**David Thompson: **WOULD ALL THREE OF YOU LEAVE THIS WALL THIS INSTANCE!

**Santana Lopez: **Mercedes, I need details later.

**Mercedes Jones: **Leave Satan. Beware the power of Christ. *mimicks cross*

**Santana Lopez: ***rolls her eyes*

**David Thompson: **Mercedes, are you ready?

**Mercedes Jones: **Are you ready?

**David Thompson: **Can we think about this for awhile?

**Mercedes Jones: **Sure,

**David Thompson: **So, does this mean you don't hate my guts?

**Mercedes Jones: **I don't hate your guts, David. I love you no matter what you are. It was just my initial shock. Well, Night! Love you! 3

**David Thompson: **Love you too

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel **to **Blaine Anderson: **Blaine? You there?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel: **Can I ask you why you kissed me tonight but ran out afterwards?

**Blaine Anderson: **Well...um...you see...well...um...I needed to pee

**Kurt Hummel: **Pee?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, that's it! I needed to pee so badly that I left after we um...we kissed...

**Kurt Hummel: **Damn your pea-sized bladder!

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah...

**Kurt Hummel: **So, can I ask you something?

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Kurt Hummel: **Well too bad, I'm asking you anyway!

**Blaine Anderson: **Fuck

**Kurt Hummel: **What does this mean?

**Blaine Anderson: **What does what mean?

**Kurt Hummel: **Us, you and me, Blaine. What are we?

**Blaine Anderson: **We're best friends, Kurt. What else?

**Kurt Hummel: **Best friends don't kiss each other and look at each other longingly afterwards.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **No they don't

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **No they don't

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **No they don't

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **No they don't

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **No they don't

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **No they don't

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes they do

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine! Stop doing this! You know friends don't! Stop acting so Aaron and Britt like!

**Blaine Anderson: **Look Kurt, I care about you. I care about you deeply than you'll ever realize. I know we don't see each other as just friends now. We both see each other as more. I tell you now, Kurt Hummel, I see you more than just my best friend. But I just...I just...

**Kurt Hummel: **Just what Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson: **I just can't, Kurt. Please understand me.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, I'm getting too tired of understanding and waiting. I'm not waiting forever.

**Blaine Anderson: **I know. I'm not saying you should wait for me.

**Kurt Hummel: **So, I should stop waiting? This means we can't happen at all?

**Blaine Anderson: ** I'm not saying we can't happen, Kurt. You and I feel the same way...it's just that...

**Kurt Hummel: **What the hell is stopping you from being with me?

**Blaine Anderson: **A promise

**Kurt Hummel: **A promise of what?

**Blaine Anderson: **Something between me and that person. You can't know about it.

**Kurt Hummel: **Again, Blaine, I'm telling you I'm not waiting forever.

**Blaine Anderson: **I know.

**Kurt Hummel: **You also know you're choosing a promise over the man you like?

**Blaine Anderson: **There's something wrong with that sentence.

**Kurt Hummel: **What?

**Blaine Anderson: **Not telling,

**Kurt Hummel: **Ugh! I'm getting sick and tired of the secrets Blaine! I'm sick and tired! The hell! I'm going to bed now!

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel: **WHAT?

**Blaine Anderson: **Take Care Now

**Kurt Hummel: **What?

**Blaine Anderson: **I said Take Care Now

**Kurt Hummel: **What does that suppose to mean?

**Blaine Anderson: **You'll know in the end

**Kurt Hummel: **You are crazy! You won't tell me anything! *walks out dramatically*

**Blaine Anderson: **Take Care Now, Kurt. Take Care Now

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**Wes Yang:**

Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Wesley? What are you doing awake at this time of night?

**Wes Yang: **

I'm spying on the videos New Directions placed in MySpace.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Don't care, Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **

Do you also want to know that I'm in love with Satan?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Wait...hold the gay second. You're in love with Santana?

**Wes Yang: **

Yeah, weird isn't it. Mr. Bang-Bang rolled over his grave the moment I realized it. I think he was silently rooting for me and David to come together.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Mr. Bang-Bang and me both. :)

**Wes Yang: **

Shut up hobbit!

**Blaine Anderson: **

So, does Santana love you back?

**Wes Yang: ***shrugs*

I have no idea but I did made her choose between me and Jordan.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Who did she choose?

**Wes Yang: **

Surprisingly me

**Blaine Anderson: **

That must mean something, Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **

I have no idea how I fell in love with a bitch I just have sex frequently.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Some things are not meant to be known. It is better not to know than to know.

**Wes Yang: **

Yeah.

**Wes Yang: **

BTW, all the Warblers spied on your "friend" date with Kurtie.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I know, I saw Jeff eating tater tots in the corner. Also, I read the Facebook conversations you guys had.

**Wes Yang: **

Wasn't my plan. Blame Trent.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Yeah I blame Trent for all that sucks in my life right now. Though I said yes to it so I suck too.

**Wes Yang: **

How was the first Klaine kiss?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Have you ever read about how first kiss should feel like?

**Wes Yang: **

No

**Blaine Anderson: **

Well I do, and to tell you the truth it was much more. I didn't felt fireworks or a spark when we kissed.

**Wes Yang: **

What you felt?

**Blaine Anderson: **

:) I felt the earth stop moving and everyone around us stopped. Like the hands of time gave us a few free seconds to kiss and be one. After that, I felt like the earth shook below me and tried to shake me to reality but I can't. All I can see was his ocean eyes and his slightly flushed face. I've never seen him more beautiful in my life. Heck, I think I fell in love with him even more.

**Wes Yang: **

Congratulations hobbit! :)

**Blaine Anderson: **

The only thing I regret is not telling him I love him after the kiss. Instead I ran away like Lindsay Lohan did. Now look what happened to her.

**Wes Yang: **

Hey! You said "I love you" to Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson: **No I didn't.

**Wes Yang: **

Yes you did. You said "Take Care Now". I know for a fact that has another meaning. And by meaning, I mean the Three Words.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Wait a second! Wait a hot second, since when do you watch Grey's Anatomy?

**Wes Yang: **

Since like forever. Plus, Sandra Oh is one hot Asian. Myaww! *insert feline gesture*

**Blaine Anderson: **

*facepalm* so you know the meaning.

**Wes Yang: **

Yup, I love that episode and especially that scene. You actually gave me an idea to tell Santana what I feel without her knowing. Though, I 'am very surprised that Kurt didn't get the meaning.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Good. It's better he doesn't know.

**Wes Yang: **

He's not going wait for you forever, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Tell that to Trent.

**Wes Yang: **

I haven't seen Trent in awhile.

**Blaine Anderson: **

He needs to learn to grow some balls.

**Wes Yang: **

Blaine, listen to me. You need to talk to Trent about this. You need to break the deal. You need to be selfish right now. Trent and Nick are a lost deal. You and Kurt are made for each other. Gay babies are crying to be made!

**Blaine Anderson: **

I can't do that, Wesley. A promise is a promise.

**Wes Yang: **

But-

**Blaine Anderson: **

A PROMISE IS A PROMISE! A DEAL IS A DEAL!

**Wes Yang: **

I'm really sorry for you, Blaine. This whole Klaine drama is getting tiresome to watch.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Yeah. I don't know what's worse. Kurt not waiting for me anymore or me not having having the guts to tell him those three words.

**Wes Yang: **

You'll tell him in time.

**Blaine Anderson: **

But he's not waiting for me anymore.

**Wes Yang: **

I don't believe that. I think he's still waiting except he'll go on to other men but he'll come back to you the moment you allow your relationship to happen.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I hope your right but I doubt it. He seems mad. Poor me...

**Wes Yang: **

Andpoor gay babies...longing to be made by Klaine groins. Poor babies...

***********Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Aww...so sad ending...me so sad...**

**So, let's see the whole summary of what happened in this chapter.**

**I told you guys to watch out for the couple dramas. Let's start with our favorite:**

**KLAINE:**** So Klaine date finally happened. Well, Klaine "friend" date. But it didn't end like a friend date. They've finally kissed people but Blaine run away. If you've been reading this fanfic for awhile, you already know that the reason he run away was because of his promise to Trent. Stupid deal...**

**By the end of the story, we found out that Kurt's not willing to wait anymore and is tired of the secrets Blaine is keeping from him. Also, Kurt only thinks that Blaine likes him but Blaine loves him. He even says "Take Care Now" to him. Aww...Klaine drama.**

**WENTANA:**** Well it's official, Wes has fallen for the bitch, Santana that is. Wes has fallen over jealousy from Jordan and Santana get their nasty on. But does Santana reciprocate? It doesn't look like it. She looks like she just wants sex and sex only. Will she fall for Wes? I sure hope so considering I ship them...**

**TREFF: ****The triangle is slowly unfolding as Trent and Jeff finally knows. Trent is surprised that Jeff loves him and Jeff is jealous as hell to Nick. Jeff is super evil when his jealous and is very scary. Trent, on the other hand, seems to be confused by now. He even left. What does that suppose to mean? Does this mean he somehow has feelings for Jeff as well? And what about Nick? **

**DARK TATER TOTS:**** Aka David and Mercedes. Mercedes hated David from the start because she finally found about his porn addiction. But in the end, we find out that Mercedes loves porn too. What an odd couple. But this time, they are facing a new challenge. Sleeping with each other. Will they proceed to losing their virginities to each other or not?**

**JORTHAD:**** Jordan has finally admitted that he likes Thad but he does not look like his in love with him or going gay for him any time soon. Thad is all jealous and scolding Jordan in this chapter. This two are seriously crazy. **

**That's it. That's the whole story. Wow. **

**FAVORITE PART: **

The spying on the Klaine date. So freaking awesome!

**FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER:**

Blaine Anderson: "Take Care Now"

**That quote came from Grey's Anatomy itself. I'm a serious GA fan and have always been way before Glee happened and I just so happen to be Team Owen Hunt and Cristina Yang. That is why my penname is BM22OwenstinaKB. Owenstina came from GA. I've always been touched by that quote so I wanted to try it out here. **

**If you don't watch Grey's Anatomy or the scene where this quote was used, copy paste the link here: **http:/www .youtube .com/ watch?v=tpzKBmRuYPM – just remove the spaces ;)

**The scene is so full of emotion and love. I can imagine Kurt and Blaine in Cristina and Owen's places.**

**Before I end this chapter, I would like you to do three things:**

REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT PART OR QUOTE YOU LOVE! 

TEST HOW GOOD OF A STARKID YOU ARE BY TELLING ME HOW MANY STARKID OR AVPM REFERENCES I WROTE IN THIS CHAPTER. THIS INCLUDES THE NAMES OF THE ACTORS PEOPLE! THE ONE WHO GETS THE CORRECT NUMBER HAS A SPECIAL DEDICATION IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.

CLUE TO ALL OF YOU: THERE IS MORE THAN TWO

AND

GIVE ME AN IDEA ON WHAT SHOULD WILL AND SUE SHOULD FIGHT ABOUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER!

I always make the Will vs. Sue chapter every five chapters.

I seriously need a good one because I can't think of something they could fight about

_Commercial:_

_WOW! The lives of the Warblers is pure drama. This is becoming a telenovela. Anyway, will Kurt find out the meaning behind the "take care now"? Will Blaine talk to Trent about the stupid fucking deal? Will the bitch fall for the Asian? Will Jordan go gay? Will Dark Chocolate and Tater Tots hump each other? Who does Trent really love? The obsessed JB fan? Or the obsessed food fan? _

_Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook! See ya guys later! I need to drool over my Naked Chris Colfer and Darren Criss pictures for inspiration for the next chapter. _

_Bye! Harry Freaking Potter out! :)_


	15. Will vs Sue III and Cheating Asian

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: A Supermegafoxyawesome DAY to all of you my readers! Welcome to another chapter of "Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook"!**

**As an inspiring doctor, I recommend you to read this story at least twice a day and tell this story to all of your friends.**

**As the saying goes, "One hour of reading Gleek Facebook keeps the sadness that Glee is not coming back for another two months away!" So what are you waiting for? Read like you never read before!**

**I'm going crazy. **

**Yup, definitely going crazy. So uber crazy. **

**I seriously need to admit myself to a mental institute. But before that...let's read the next chapter!**

**BTW, this chapter is pure New Directions with the exception of Klaine. Of course, ;)**

**Warning: Rated M for swearing and topics about girl and guy parts.**

**Theme: Comedy and Comedy II and LOLing and Drama**

**Dedication: I dedicate this to all of my readers for the endless support and love they give me for writing this story! I love you all so much! ;) Also to ****klaine love anon**** who got the correct number of references of AVPM from the last chapter. 37 references. Can you believe it? Now that's an AVPM fan! **

**Enjoy the chapter! :)**

************Facebook Addicts************

**Chapter Fifteen:**

**Will vs. Sue III, Cheating Asian, and de Furniture**

**Mike Chang **has changed his status from **in a relationship **to **single**

**Noah Puckerman: **What the fucking Asian!

**Rachel Berry, Lauren Zizes, **and **20 **others likes this

**Mercedes Jones: **What the hell is happening here? Asians not together? WTF!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **No more Asian fusion...I'm sad... :(

**Finn Hudson: **That's alright babe, daddy's here. Daddy's got you.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **But daddy's in Iraq, how can he have me if I'm here? I'm confused.

**Finn Hudson: ***idiot facepalm* I wasn't talking about your dad. I was talking about me.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **O_Oyou're my daddy?

**Finn Hudson: **You know what, Britt. Just forget what I said.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What exactly did you say?

**Finn Hudson: ***idiot facepalm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What's a facepalm again?

**Rachel Berry: **Attention **Mike Chang **and **Tina Cohen-Chang**, as the leader of New Directions, I for one need to know something immediately on this sudden separation of the most stable and most Asian relationship in New Directions.

**Santana Lopez: **Do you have anything to do in your hobbit life other than being annoying to all of us?

**Rachel Berry: **Bitch, I ain't talking to you! :(

**Mercedes Jones: **Seriously you Asians, you need to tell us what the hell is going on or I'll be cutting an Asian.

**Rachel Berry: **Cut Santana, I'll be as happy as getting the lead role in Wicked.

**Santana Lopez: **The day you get a lead role on Broadway is the day Finn becomes hot and loses his fudge-filled man boobs.

**Finn Hudson: **How did I get into this bitch argument? Plus, FUDGE-FILLED MAN BOOBS! SANTANA, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

**Santana Lopez: **Bitch please, I've got more death threats than Adolf Hitler ever gotten. I'm pretty used to it by now.

**Mercedes Jones: **WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP FIGHTING AND TALKING ABOUT FINN'S FAT MAN BOOBS AND GET TO THE MORE IMPORTANT POINT!

**Finn Hudson: **Hey! I do not have man boobs! Or FAT man boobs!

**Artie Abrams: **Black girl speaks the truth yow

**Mercedes Jones: **Racist Artie!

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you, Artie! Fuck all of you!

**Rachel Berry: **Mercedes, I think David's rubbing off on you.

**Mercedes Jones: **That's not all what's rubbing off on me.

**Rachel Berry: **What do you mean?

**Mercedes Jones: **I'll PM you later with Kurt.

**Rachel Berry: **Alright...let's wait for the hot gay man.

**Noah Puckerman: **Seriously Asians, what's going on?

**Artie Abrams: **Where are those Asian motherfucking Asians?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Maybe they're Asianing...

**Mercedes Jones: **What the hell is Asianing?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Doing something Asian-related. Duh!

**Mercedes Jones: ***tater tot facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: **I know why

**Rachel Berry: **As leader of the club, I order you to tell me what is going on. NOW!

**Quinn Fabray: **I don't care if you are the leader of ND or the president of hobbit and annoying ville. Bitch, I ain't telling you nothing!

**Artie Abrams: **Hot mama, you need to tell the crew with what's happening to our Asian motherfucking Asians.

**Quinn Fabray: **Sorry babe, but I have one condition before I tell you what's happening with our Asians.

**Noah Puckerman: **Make a baby with you again and this time, keep it?

**Rachel Berry: **WHAT THE HELL!

**Artie Abrams: **O_O

**Noah Puckerman: **It was just a joke, Rach! I wasn't going to do that! I'm might be a preganizer but I'm not an idiot. Duh!

**Rachel Berry: **:(

**Quinn Fabray: **Who the hell told you I want to make a bastard child with you again?

**Noah Puckerman: **My unusually fertile groins

**Artie Abrams: **Keep your unusually fertile groins and hands off my woman, Big Puckerman!

**Finn Hudson: **For the love of Grilled Cheesus, please do not call Puck with the name of his penis! It's too much!

**Rachel Berry: **Big Puckerman will not be entering Little Berry V anytime soon.

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O Awww man! :(

**Finn Hudson: **Little Berry V? Is that the name for your vagina? 

**Santana Lopez: **What a horrible name for your vagina. Mine's Wild Beast

**Quinn Fabray: **Mine's Prom Queen Bush V

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Mine's Lord Tubbington's Bush

**Rachel Berry: **Your cat owns your vagina? O_O

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Yup! I love his whiskers down there. It tickles me! :)

**Finn Hudson: **Too much vagina information...

**Noah Puckerman:** Not me, keep them coming! :)

**Rachel Berry: **:(

**Artie Abrams: **Bow chika bow wow motherfuckers!

**Mercedes Jones: **GUYS! WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT PENISES AND VAGINA NAMES! YOU GUYS ALL KNOW IT'S WRONG TO NAME THINGS LIKE THAT!

**Santana Lopez: **You sound like you don't have a name for your vajj.

**Mercedes Jones: **I don't

**Santana Lopez: **I'm so sorry for you. So friggin sorry.

**Mercedes Jones: ***rolls eyes* Quinn, just tell us already.

**Quinn Fabray: **Not until you all vote for me for Queen ND Bitch!

**Santana Lopez: **I ain't voting for you even if you give me Klaine to fuck with...Okay...I might vote for you if there good at fucking me ;)

**Brittany S. Pierce **and **423,523 **others likes

**Finn Hudson: **Why does every girl want to have sex with Kurt and Blaine? NEWSFLASH: THERE GAY!

**Rachel Berry: **Yeah we know...I wish I was gay guy then I could do nasty things to those two fatherfuckers...

**Lauren Zizes, Santana Lopez, **and **2,522,434 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MY BROTHER! STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING MY BROTHER! 

**Mercedes Jones: ***ignoring Finn* Quinn, if you are really a true friend, you'll tell us.

**Quinn Fabray: **What if I'm not a real friend?

**Mercedes Jones: ***tater tot facepalm* then I'll be cutting you, bitch.

**Quinn Fabray: **Ugh! Fine! I'll tell you! I hate you, Mercedes! :(

**Mercedes Jones: **I hate you too

**Santana Lopez: **I hate all of you!

**Rachel Berry: **Right back at you bitch!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **STOP THE HATE!

**Artie Abrams: **True that Motherfuckers!

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sue Sylvester: **has just found out that Rod Remington's polygamous wife, Andrea Carmichael, is pregnant with a bastard child. I couldn't be happier for them! :D

**Will Schuester: **You are one twisted and sickening woman!

**Sue Sylvester: **You just found out now?

**Will Schuester: **Nope, you should be sorry for her and support her since she's pregnant.

**Sue Sylvester: **Who do you think I 'am? A saint? I ain't helping anyone especially soon-to-be whale-sized woman, Andrea Carmichael.

**Will Schuester: **You are disgusting.

**Sue Sylvester: **No, what's disgusting is that thing on top of your head that resembles a dead animal wearing a dangerous amount of hair gel.

**Will Schuester: **How can an animal wear hair gel?

**Sue Sylvester: **Ask that dead animal on top of your head.

**Will Schuester: **I hate you, Sue

**Sue Sylvester: **When did you actually like me? Because if you like me then I'm not doing my mission to make your life horrible and miserable.

**Will Schuester: **I will never like you.

**Sue Sylvester: **Good. Now it's time for me to scream at one day old babies to make the start of their lives miserable. See ya later, Buttchin.

**Will Schuester: **How are you not band from hospitals and other places with people in them, I have no idea.

**Sue Sylvester: **How are you not in the FBI's top most wanted list with that hair of yours that's nesting little people who will invade us in the future and bring us to Armageddon, I also have no idea.

**Will Schuester: **There are no little people in my hair!

**Sue Sylvester: **Right...I believe you as much as I believe you are straight

**Will Schuester: **I 'am straight!

**Sue Sylvester: **You ran the glee club! That alone says your gay!

**Will Schuester: **I'm not!

**Sue Sylvester: **Clearly in denial, gay Buttchin

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**Mercedes Jones: **I can't believe this...this is impossible...

**Brittany S. Pierce **and **24 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **This is more impossible than Artie not being a racist man.

**Artie Abrams: **Bastard, I ain't racist!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Poor Asians...

**Noah Puckerman: **Poor Mike...

**Artie Abrams, Finn Hudson, **and **8 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **I feel so sad for other Asian.

**Mike Chang: **Hi guys! Guess you know by now what happened...who told you?

**Artie Abrams: **My hot and smoking mama

**Mike Chang: **Your mother! How'd she found out about this!

**Artie Abrams: **No you stupid idiot Asian, I was talking about Quinn yow!

**Mike Chang: **Oh...Quinn, how'd you find out? Also, Artie you are being incredibly racist again.

**Artie Abrams: **I 'am not racist, Asian!

**Quinn Fabray: **Tina told me after what happened.

**Finn Hudson: **How can Tina cheat on you with Sam? I mean, come on, Sam? He has a trouty mouth for Grilled Cheesus's sake.

**Santana Lopez: **Can't blame her, he's fucking wild in bed. He has huge ten inched dick. Blonde hair like Brad Pitt's. Perfect abs and ass. His only flaw is his gigantic glee hole. But it's damn fucking good for sucking.

**Rachel Berry: **Wow, you make a very good point, Satan.

**Mercedes Jones, Quinn Fabray, **and **37 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **Thanks hobbit but I still hate you

**Rachel Berry: **I will always hate you ;)

**Noah Puckerman: **Still, Tina shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have cheated on you. She should have broke up with you, had break-up sex with you, then go fuck Trouty Mouth. That is way civilized than catching them humping each other.

**Mike Chang: **Well...we haven't exactly...you know...done it...

**Santana Lopez: **Well now wonder she slept with Trouty Mouth. You're not putting out. I would have done the same thing.

**Artie Abrams: **Why are you not putting out, Asian? Something wrong with your Asian dick?

**Mike Chang: **Did you know that Asians are second to the lowest in the dick pyramid?

**Finn Hudson: **The what?

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O

**Artie Abrams: **Wait...hold the Asian second...there's a dick pyramid?

**Santana Lopez: **Duh! You just found out now?

**Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, **and **54,366 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **Rach, you've known about this?

**Rachel Berry: **Duh!

**Artie Abrams: **Hot mama, you too?

**Quinn Fabray: **Of course

**Finn Hudson: **Britt, you too?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Lord Tubbington told me

**Santana Lopez: **Okay. Us girls will be explaining to you guys.

**Rachel Berry: **The dick pyramid has five groups.

**Mercedes Jones: **At the top are the Black and African men. They have the HUGEST dicks.

**Santana Lopez: **How lucky are you to be banging David? He must have a HUGE dick.

**Mercedes Jones: **I'm not answering that

**Santana Lopez: **Then that just means you're not banging him. What a waste of some fine dick.

**Rachel Berry **and **4,324 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **Can we please go back to teaching the boys? Alright, below the Blacks and Africans are the Mexicans and Irish men. They have the second hugest dicks in the world.

**Santana Lopez: **How lucky is Kurt to get to bang Blaine? Very lucky

**Finn Hudson: **WOULD YOU GUYS STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BROTHER AND BANGING IN ONE SENTENCE! DO YOU GUYS REALLY WANT TO SCAR ME WITH THAT IMAGE!

**Santana Lopez: **Yes

**Finn Hudson: **Again, fuck you

**Santana Lopez: **I can't. Wes said I can only fuck him and him only. Thanks for the offer though, fudge filled man boobs.

**Mercedes Jones: **Did you know that Blaine's half-Asian?

**Santana Lopez: **...then I hope he inherited his Irish dick than his Asian dick...

**Rachel Berry: **let us pray for Kurt's sex life.

**Mercedes Jones: **Do you guys also know that Kurt and Blaine are not together?

**Noah Puckerman: **Still not together! Come on, aren't they dying yet from their too powerful sexual tension?

**Mercedes Jones: **Nope

**Artie Abrams: **That Blaine kid seriously needs to get his balls, my gay homie is dying of his sexless life.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What balls does curly dolphin needs? Maybe I can buy some so that curly dolphin and dolphin could live happily ever after and have baby dolphins! :)

**Artie Abrams: ***racist facepalm*

**Santana Lopez: **Ask him, boo. Help him get his balls.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Okay! :D

**Finn Hudson: **Okay, could we stop talking about Blaine's balls? Please!

**Rachel Berry: **I'm with fudge-filled man boobs, we seriously need to continue in educating the ND boys.

**Finn Hudson: **WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT! IT'S NOT FUNNY!

**Rachel Berry: ***ignoring fudge-filled man boobs* At the middle of the triangle, is the third group. This group are the white men.

**Noah Puckerman: **I have a third-class dick?

**Rachel Berry: **Yup

**Noah Puckerman: **What a way to kill a man's mojo...

**Artie Abrams: **True that! :(

**Finn Hudson: **My dick is middle class big? That's sad...

**Santana Lopez: **What's more sad is that we ND girls sleep with third-class dicks. Right bitches?

**Lauren Zizes, Quinn Fabray, **and **10 **others likes this

**Mike Chang: **The next group after that are the Asian men and the last, at the bottom of the dick pyramid are the American Indians.

**Mike Chang: **You guys are all lucky that you have third-class dicks. I have a fourth-class. My life sucks.

**Artie Abrams: **We know. We feel for you, unlucky Asian.

**Mike Chang: **Again, racist.

**Noah Puckerman: **Even though I only have a third-class dick, I can still make the women swoon with my badassness and charm. I don't care.

**Noah Puckerman: **My name is Noah Elijah Puckerman and I'm proud to say that I own a third-class dick!

**Finn Hudson: **Puck's right. I shouldn't care. My name is Finn Christopher Hudson and I'm proud to say that I own a third-class dick! :)

**Artie Abrams: **I don't give a damn about my dick. As long as it can still fuck women, I don't care. My name Artie Abrams and I'm proud to say I have a third class motherfucker and you have a problem with me, you'll have to face the wrath of my video game abilities.

**Noah Puckerman: **Mike! Join us! Be proud of what you have! Tina doesn't realize what she gave up! A good dick!

**Mike Chang: **You are absolutely right. I should be proud. I should be proud of my dick.

**Mike Chang: **My name is Michael Chang and I'm proud to say that I have a fourth-class dick!

**Artie Abrams: **Wait a minute, your name's Michael? What a weird name for an Asian.

**Mike Chang: **Again, you are being racist.

**Artie Abrams: **No I'm not, Asian.

**Santana Lopez: **Oh my God, it's dick-appreciation palooza on Facebook.

**Rachel Berry: **This is got to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Men posting how proud they are about their dicks.

**Mercedes Jones: **Enjoy it girls, you don't see that every day.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I don't see my panties every day too. That's why I don't wear anything underneath sometimes! :)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Sue Sylvester: **Oh how I love to watch Andrea Carmichael and Rod Remington fight on air and at their home. This is joy I haven't felt in years...not even stealing Christmas and kicking Josh Groban's ass can compare to this much joy.

**Will Schuester: **How on earth do you know Andrea and Rod are fighting at their home?

**Sue Sylvester: **I have cameras EVERYWHERE, Schuester. And I mean, EVERYWHERE.

**Will Schuester: **You really are the craziest woman I've ever met.

**Sue Sylvester: **And you have the ugliest hair I've ever seen in a hobbit's

**Will Schuester: **First you thought I was gay, now a hobbit. What's next?

**Sue Sylvester: **The reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln, the first gay president of America. (**A/N: **This is just a joke people! If someone gets offended, again I'm reminding you it's a joke. No need to call the police or something...)

**Will Schuester: **You have become more insane when you heard Andrea's having a baby.

**Sue Sylvester: **I 'am so happy that I got my vagina removed years ago, saving me from the thought of child bearing.

**Will Schuester: **I'm so sorry for you.

**Sue Sylvester: **Why do you feel sorry for one Sue Sylvester? NO ONE feels sorry for Sue Sylvester. NO ONE!

**Will Schuester: **I do. I can't bear the thought of not having kids in my life. Kids brings the joy in our lives.

**Sue Sylvester: **What brings joy to my life are my trophies and the many times I've made your life miserable with my ruthless hair jokes that brings down your self-esteem and my numerous plans to destroy that precious club of yours that's composed of misfits that weren't baked right.

**Will Schuester: **That might bring you joy, Sue. But it won't give you pure joy. Kids give people pure joy.

**Sue Sylvester: **Me and my wife, Sue Sylvester, does not agree with you. Kids don't give you pure joy. It gives you headaches and it vomits all over you.

**Will Schuester: **Kids are not things, Sue. There not "it". They are kids and I'm very sad that you won't get to be a parent.

**Sue Sylvester: **I'm happy that I won't get to be a parent.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I'm sad that Asian fusion is gone and my dolphins are not making dolphin babies.

**Will Schuester: **Brittany, please leave this wall. Sue and I are having a debate about kids give pure joy. Wait a minute...hold the manwhore second...what do you mean Asian fusion is gone?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **The two Asians are not Asianing anymore. That's Asianly sad. :(

**Sue Sylvester: **Is she talking about Tina Cohen-Loser and the other Asian?

**Will Schuester: **Yes, what happened? How come I find out about this just now?

**Santana Lopez: **Because Manwhore, when you are online, all you do is either fight with Coach Sue or cyberfuck Ms. Pillsburry.

**Sue Sylvester: **Nice comeback Tweedlefakeboobs, you are officially not at the bottom of the pyramid.

**Santana Lopez: **:)

**Will Schuester: **Why does everyone always assume that I'm eyefucking or cyberfucking Emma?

**Santana Lopez: **Because you are manwhore!

**Sue Sylvester: **Nice Tweedlefakeboobs, continue. :)

**Will Schuester: **I 'am not a manwhore.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes you are, Mr. Schue. You are definitely a manwhore as I 'am gay as the fourth of July.

**Sue Sylvester: **Porcelain! Glad you could come and join the party of tormenting gay Buttchin on Facebook.

**Kurt Hummel: **I just want to point out that Mr. Schue is a manwhore.

**Will Schuester: **How am I a manwhore?

**Santana Lopez: **You kissed Ms. Pillsbury...

**Kurt Hummel: **But then had a make out session with Rachel's mom, Shelby Corcoran.

**Rachel Berry: **WHAT! THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT KURT?

**Will Schuester: **How do you know that Kurt?

**Sue Sylvester: **I told him while he was in the Cheerios. Nice call, Porcelain. :)

**Santana Lopez: **You also let April Rhodes in your home and slept with her...

**Kurt Hummel: **Also, you kissed Coach Beiste...no comment...

**Sue Sylvester: **Okay, I did not know that Buttchin kissed the Beast. GOD! That image is stuck to me! Now I need to watch depressing news to wipe that image off. Or sleep and dream about Buttchin and me in the zoo and me shoving his face into one of those pink and inflamed monkey butts...Ah...what a good dream that would be...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Cool! Pink and inflamed monkey butts! They are so cute! :)

**Will Schuester: **I still can't believe you're not in mental institute...

**Kurt Hummel: **You even seduced Coach Sylvester...

**Sue Sylvester: **And what a horrible night that was.

**Sue Sylvester: **Porcelain, Tweedle Fakeboobs, nice job ladies. Very well done. :)

**Will Schuester: **You're my kids and yet, you sided with her.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **O_O You're my daddy? I thought Finny was?

**Sue Sylvester: **That is the most depressing things I've ever seen and I was a Nazi before. Buttchin's kids would be misfits with that hair they will be inheriting. Poor gay Buttchin's kids...

**Kurt Hummel:**

What up my bitches?

**Rachel Berry:**

Since when did I become your bitch?

**Kurt Hummel: **

Since I said so. ;)

**Mercedes Jones:**

Thanks for going online, Kurt. I know your kind of depress right now.

**Rachel Berry:**

Why are you depress? Is Darren Criss dead?

**Kurt Hummel: **

WHAT! NO! Rachel! Please do not joke about that! *knocks on all the woods* KNOCK ON WOOD! KNOCK ON WOOD!

**Rachel Berry:**

*knocking on wood*

**Mercedes Jones: **

*knocking on wood* Rachel, never joke about Darren Criss. You know what Darren Criss is to Kurt.

**Rachel Berry:**

I'm sorry Kurt, but I'm very curious to why you are depressed. Seems to me everyone has secrets this week.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Kurt, you need to tell her. She's just going to annoy the hell out of you if you don't.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine and I kissed.

**Rachel Berry:**

WTFBS!

**Mercedes Jones:**

What does that mean?

**Kurt Hummel:**

What the fucking Barbra Streisand, I guess.

**Rachel Berry:**

Oh my God! Oh my God! You guys kissed! Oh my God! I'm so happy for you Kurt! You've finally got your clueless prince to kiss you! How exciting! Wait a minute...that's not depressing...why are you depressed?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Blaine left after they kissed and when Kurt asked what they are. Blaine said they're just friends.

**Rachel Berry:**

WTF! Is all that hair gel on his hair ruined the way he thinks?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Possible with that amount of hair gel he puts on it.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I think that boy is insane. He kissed you but didn't change what you two are.

**Rachel Berry:**

That clearly shows he has feelings for you. He just needs some balls.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Tell him to grow some balls, Kurt. You should make him suffer. Should I bring the ND boys to kick his cute and dapper ass?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't! Don't ruin his hot, cute, and dapper ass!

**Rachel Berry:**

I have no idea why he doesn't want to be with you. I mean, if you were straight, I will totally dump Noah for you.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I'll do the same thing with Dark Chocolate.

**Kurt Hummel:**

He told me it's because of a promise to someone. He promised something to someone and that's reason he can't be with me. He chose to keep his promise than be with me.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Damn. That boy shows true dedication to a promise. That promise must be a big.

**Kurt Hummel:**

It was more of a deal. He promised a deal.

**Rachel Berry:**

A deal? What kind of deal involves not being with someone you love.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't love me if he chooses a deal over me.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Oh you have no idea how much that idiot loves you.

**Rachel Berry:**

As the great Artie Abrams would say, true that! :)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Still don't believe. Can we talk about something else? Mercedes, you wanted to talk about something. What's up?

**Mercedes Jones:**

You remember that last week, I found out that my Dark Chocolate is watching porn.

**Rachel Berry:**

You just found out last week? I've known since I met him.

**Mercedes Jones:**

How'd you know?

**Rachel Berry:**

He and Puck and the rest of the ND boys go to the same porn website.

**Kurt Hummel:**

How in the world do you know that?

**Rachel Berry:**

I watch porn too.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*gay facepalm* Am I the only one left here who doesn't watch porn?

**Mercedes Jones:**

I'm pretty sure Blaine doesn't watch any.

**Rachel Berry:**

Though he does give very vivid porn stories...

**Mercedes Jones:**

I think his fantasizing about Kurt when he does that.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Puhlease...I 'am not sexy...especially to Blaine.

**Rachel Berry:**

Oh honey, if only you know what you do to the clueless boy

**Mercedes Jones:**

Remember single ladies?

**Rachel Berry:**

Yup

**Kurt Hummel:**

What are you guys talking about?

**Rachel Berry:**

Nothing. Back to Mercedes, what are you going to tell us?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Well, David asked me last week if we wanted to take our relationship to the next level.

**Rachel Berry:**

In what level?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh my God!

**Mercedes Jones:**

IKR?

**Rachel Berry:**

What? What's going on?

**Kurt Hummel: **

David asked you if you want to have sex? OH MY GOD!

**Rachel Berry:**

OH MY GOD! NICE MERCEDES! He has a first class dick!

**Kurt Hummel:**

IKR!

**Mercedes Jones:**

Yeah, I know I'm lucky that my guy has a first class dick but...I'm kind of afraid.

**Rachel Berry:**

Of what? Getting AIDS? I'm pretty sure David's a virgin.

**Kurt Hummel:**

He is a virgin. Honey, what are you afraid of?

**Mercedes Jones:**

It's my virginity, Kurt. It's something I have and will be lost forever when I give it to someone. I'm never getting it back once I give it to David. And, I want my first time to be special and have my first time with someone I really love.

**Kurt Hummel:**

The question here, Mercedes, is perfectly clear. And how you answer it answers your problem of being scared.

**Rachel Berry:**

I know exactly what Kurt wants to ask. Mercedes, do you really love David?

**Sue Sylvester: **BUTTCHIN! WOULD YOU STOP SENDING ME PICTURES OF BABIES! I'M NEAR VOMITING MY INTESTINES!

**Will Schuester: **I just want you to think of what you're missing.

**Sue Sylvester: **I'm not missing anything. Do you know how hard it is to have kids?

**Will Schuester: **I do, Sue. I know. But that does not mean that you get to say no kids. It's not that hard.

**Sue Sylvester: **Do you what's hard, William. You know what's hard. My mother and father left me and my sister and never came back. THAT'S HARD! Do you know how my life was? I don't want to have a child that has me for a parent because of my childhood. If my parents were the worst, what about me? I have no soul, William. I only want revenge. A kid deserves more than that. Are you happy, William? Are you satisfied? I'm logging out...

**Will Schuester: **Wait! Sue! Crap! Shit!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Are you doing number two, Mr. Schue?

************Facebook Addicts************

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **

Quinn, does everyone in Glee hate me?

**Quinn Fabray:**

Yeah. But it's mostly because they feel sorry for what you did to Mike. I mean, come on, Tina. You cheated on poor fourth class dick, Mike.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

I know, Quinn. I know what I did is wrong. I don't know what came over me. I just saw Sam in another light and...one thing led to another...

**Quinn Fabray:**

Mike really loves you. More than Artie ever loved you and you threw it away for sex with Sam.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

I know I'm a bad Asian. I'm very bad Asian. Bad Asian.

**Quinn Fabray:**

Tina, can I ask you something? Why'd you do it? Did Mike do something to you?

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

I don't know why I did it. It's not because Mike didn't put out or anything. It's also not because Sam has better abs than he does. Maybe it's because I lost the love Mike and I have. I still do love him so. But...the spark...is gone...

**Quinn Fabray:**

Why didn't you tell that to Mike? Maybe he could have done something.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

How many times will I be telling you that I'm a bad Asian?

**Quinn Fabray:**

You should talk to Mike. Fix this. Because even if you cheated, he is still in love with you.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

How'd you know?

**Quinn Fabray:**

The way he looks at you with his Asian eyes.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

But the spark is gone...

**Quinn Fabray:**

You guys would find a way.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

Quinn, thanks for being a friend to me. It's very sweet of you to not hate me and understand me.

**Quinn Fabray:**

Sad to say that I'm an expert at cheating so I know the feeling. I hope you guys fix your problem. The Asians must unite.

**Tina Cohen-Chang:**

I hope so. I hope so.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Rachel Berry:**

Blaine Anderson, you suck! You suck! You should suck my clit! You are the most bastardous gay man I've ever met!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Woah Rachel! What's with all the hate?

**Rachel Berry:**

I can't believe you kissed Kurt but remained just friends! What is wrong with you?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Let me explain before you go crazy there.

**Rachel Berry:**

I don't need explanations! YOU ARE A SUCKY GAY GUY! SUCKY GAY GUY!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Rachel, I love Kurt.

**Rachel Berry:**

NO YOU DON'T! Do you know how much pain you gave him? How many times are you going to hurt him? Jeremiah already had a hard spot on Kurt. The many times you are clueless, adds to the hurt. Do you love hurting him?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I will never hurt Kurt. I love him. Would you let me explain?

**Rachel Berry:**

*crosses arms* no matter what you say. I still and will always think YOU suck.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I made a deal with Trent that only after he and Nick gets together is the only time I'll be with Kurt.

**Rachel Berry:**

Who the hell are Trent and Nick?

**Blaine Anderson:**

They are Warblers and both are gay. Trent loves Nick but Nick loves Jeff. I hate seeing Trent so sad so I made a deal with him. I sacrificed my love life for him. I can't break a promise.

**Rachel Berry:**

...THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD! EVER! AND I'VE HEARD A LOT OF BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE! I can't believe that's the only reason you and Kurt are not together. So freaking STUPID!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Have you ever love someone that you can't have?

**Rachel Berry:**

Why are you asking me that?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Just answer me!

**Rachel Berry:**

Yeah, I did. Finn. Why?

**Blaine Anderson:**

What did it felt like when Finn was with someone and not you?

**Rachel Berry:**

I felt horrible and jealous of Quinn. I hate her. I wanted to be her. I wanted to be Quinn. I wanted him to look at me the way he looks at Quinn. Blaine, what does this have to do with Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

That is how Trent feels. At least, Kurt loves me back.

**Rachel Berry:**

He's not going to love you forever, Blaine. Kurt hates you right now. He says he has enough of waiting on you. Either you make a move now or forever you two will never be Klaine.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I don't break deals, Rachel. I'm sorry. I guess...I'm just going to pray to Grilled Cheesus for Kurt to somehow fall in love with me again after the deal ends.

**Rachel Berry:**

You really are an idiot, aren't you?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sighs* Yes, Rachel. Yes I 'am a gay idiot.

**Rachel Berry:**

I have no idea what Kurt sees in you.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Neither do I.

**Rachel Berry:**

But you love him.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I do love him Rachel. I love him forever. But...I really can't break deals...

**Rachel Berry:**

Why?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I just can't.

**Rachel Berry:**

Well...there is one thing I want you to do if you constantly insist on this stupid thing you are doing...

**Blaine Anderson:**

And that is?

**Rachel Berry:**

Tell Kurt you love him. At least, make him want to hold on to you. Or he'll go find another guy to love. Though...that seems impossible since his crazy about you...

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know exactly how I'll do it. Thanks Rachel.

**Rachel Berry:**

I need to befriend this Trent guy and show him a thing or two about messing with my Kurt. This stupid deal needs to end soon and fast.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'll tell him. And Rachel, soon, it will end. I promise.

**Rachel Berry:**

I'm scared you might be too late.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Me too.

************Facebook Addicts************

**Artie Abrams: **Alright motherfuckers and fatherfuckers, we all need to forget that Asian shit we were just bombarded with and get on with the fucking voting of who's the ND Bitch.

**Finn Hudson: **How can you forget with what happened with Mike?

**Mike Chang: **It's okay, Finn. I'm very used to Artie's racism especially to Asians.

**Artie Abrams: **Again, I 'am not racist. Besides, my hot mama keeps asking about that Bitch Crown, it's driving me bananas!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **O_O Bananas can drive?

**Finn Hudson: **Wait...seriously? Because I just ate one awhile ago...

**Artie Abrams: **No, Bananas can't drive. Geez...motherfuckers...

**Rachel Berry: **Can we go on with my coronation?

**Quinn Fabray: **Never gonna happen bitch.

**Santana Lopez: **Where's my crown?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I'm out of the running guys. I just don't want the crown...

**Artie Abrams: **Where's Trouty Mouth?

**Finn Hudson: **Probably too tired of Tina humping her

**Mike Chang: **Stop that Finn! Don't do that!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Mike, don't do that either. Don't make me feel guiltier than I already am. You don't need to protect me.

**Mike Chang: **I'm not making you feel guilty Tina. I'm just saying Finn shouldn't be like that...it's rude.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **You should hate me! Why won't you hate me!

**Mike Chang: **I can't hate someone I love and you, Tina, is the girl I love.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I cheated on you!

**Mike Chang: **I still love you even if you did.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Are you insane? You should be hating me! You should be resenting me and hurting me and sleep with another girl for pay back.

**Mike Chang: **I will never resent. I will never hurt. I WILL NEVER sleep with a girl besides you.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **UGH! I'm a bad Asian to have done that to you. I don't deserve you! I don't deserve you! *walks out dramatically*

**Mike Chang: **Guys, I really need to talk to Tina. I can't vote. Sorry. *signs off*

**Quinn Fabray: **Well this is awkward. Clearly, our two friend have serious drama in their relationship and yet all of us care for right now is who wins the bitch crown.

**Rachel Berry **and **10 **others likes this

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I don't want to be the ND Bitch anymore. I want Asians back together.

**Santana Lopez **and **44,535 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **First time I agree with Brittany. Let's all call this off. We don't need a ND bitch. We need an amazing setlist for regionals to beat the Warblers.

**Santana Lopez: **Hobbit's right. Who needs a crown any way? We can buy that at a party store.

**Quinn Fabray: **As much as it pains me to say this, I agree with Slut and Hobbit. We don't need a ND bitch.

**Mercedes Jones: **But we already have the crown. Who gets it?

**Finn Hudson: **I think de Furniture should get it.

**Artie Abrams: **Who the fuck are you talking about, Frankenstein?

**Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry, **and **7 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **Brad de Furniture. The guy who plays the piano in Glee club.

**Santana Lopez: **His surname is de Furniture? How ironic that he's kind of like furniture to the choir room?

**Quinn Fabray **and **45 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **I agree with Finn. He should be the ND Bitch for his dedication for playing for us and always there when we need him.

**Finn Hudson: **Who agrees for Brad de Furniture to win the ND Bitch crown, please like this!

**Santana Lopez **and **8 **others likes this

**Rachel Berry: **It settled then. The winner of the ND Bitch Crown is none other than Brad de Furniture!

**Brad de Furniture: **Oh my God you kids, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I'm possible thrilled.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Oh my God! The furniture talks! It's the end of the world! Save Lord Tubbington! *runs to house*

**Brad de Furniture: ***pianist facepalm*

************Facebook Addicts************

**Kurt Hummel: **

Mercedes, you still haven't answered me or Rachel about your love for David. Do you really love him?

**Mercedes Jones:**

How do you know when you really love someone? How do you know you really love Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel: **

Well...I fell in love with Blaine the moment I met him at the staircase...

**Mercedes Jones: **

Staircase?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah, staircase. He is the one I asked where to spy to.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Oh...continue...

**Kurt Hummel:**

I fell in love with him more after what happened with Karofsky. How he gave me courage and even drove two hours just confront him.

**Mercedes Jones:**

What did Karofsky do to you? How come I found about this now?

**Kurt Hummel: **

It's nothing Cedes. Nothing to worry about.

**Mercedes Jones:**

You are lying but still continue...

**Kurt Hummel:**

He took me in and guided me here at Dalton. He helped me fit in. He helped me get new friends that I can rely on. He helped me...Blaine saved me.

**Mercedes Jones:**

But still how are you sure?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Think of it this way. Think of your life with David. Is it still worth living? Can you imagine life without David? Can you? Cause if you can, then you're really not in love with him. It's more on puppy love and not real love. But Mercedes, real love is seldomly found in high school.

**Mercedes Jones:**

What about you and Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...I know I love him...I don't know he loves me...

**Mercedes Jones: **

I'm pretty sure he does.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I need to hear it from himself.

**Mercedes Jones:**

You two have loads of drama in your relationship and you don't even have a relationship yet.

**Kurt Hummel:**

That what happens when both of you are divas. So, Mercedes, are you really in love with David or not?

**Mercedes Jones:**

I need sometime to think about it. I'll talk to you soon, Kurt. Hope for the best with you and your ball less hobbit lover.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Talk to you soon. Hope you can decide with banging your porn addicted boyfriend. :)

************Facebook Addicts************

**Tina Cohen-Chang **has changed her status from **in a relationship **to **single**

**Quinn Fabray: **What happened?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I can't stay in a relationship with Mike. I'll forever be guilty with what I did.

**Sam Evans: **Guys, I'm really sorry. Especially you, Mike. I don't know what came over me.

**Finn Hudson: **Just remember, Trouty Mouth, Mike comes first. You don't have anyone to lean on to in the ND boys.

**Artie Abrams: **One for all, all for one, Asianfucker! :(

**Noah Puckerman: **I have to side with them, Mike. I just...really feel bad for what you did to Mike. You slept with his Asian girlfriend.

**Sam Evans: **You almost slept with half the girls in ND and yet they don't hate you!

**Noah Puckerman: **I have unusually fertile groins unlike you, you have a Trouty Mouth.

**Sam Evans: **:(

**Mike Chang: **Tina, we can work this out. Asian couple counseling.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I can't Mike.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **is sad because there is no more Asian fusion. :(

*************Facebook Addicts*************

**Author's Note: WOW! SupermegafoxyawesomeWOW! First time Klaine drama was set aside and Asian fusion was the primary couple. **

**Okay, let's back track for awhile. Summarize the whole story.**

**Basically, the whole chapter is all about Tina cheating on Mike with Sam. I know this seems unrealistic...okay for me it won't be since Sam is WAY HOT and Tina and Mike seems to be the most stable couple in ND. Still, I need to add drama to that Asian couple. They have no...pizazz...or fire going with them...so...Asian fusion is gone...for now...**

**Another thing that happened in the ND is the coronation of the ND Bitch Crown. I chose de Furniture because he almost never get acknowledge on the true Glee even though his ALWAYS there when the ND member sings. BTW, his surname is really not furniture...it's just that, they call him Furniture and "de" is a Spanish word for "The". You get why I chose that surname.**

**Another thing that happened here is Kurt talking about Blaine's kiss but nothing changed to Mercedes and Rachel. Of course Kurt feels his life sucks and Blaine don't own balls and of course, Cedes and Rachel talk to him about it. Kurt needs to know Blaine loves him and he'll wait for him till the end of time. Think Blaine will tell him?**

**Mercedes told Rachel and Kurt about David's plan to...you know...and Mercedes seems to be unsure. I think all girls will think like that. First times should be special. Right?**

**Will and Sue have their usual Facebook fight again. This time about kids being joy. Schuester believes they are. Sue will NEVER believe they are. Their fight is left a cliff hanger till Chapter Twenty. Yes, I believe I can make this story till chapter Thirty...*silently praying for your support* **

**Quintina** **happened in this chapter. For me, Quinn and Tina are the best friends in ND. I think they fit together. **

**Raine**** also happened. I don't want Blaine and Rachel to ever happen but I love a friendship between them. Love that Rachel was all mama bear with Blaine.**

**Also, the dick pyramid was talked about. The dick pyramid is based on the video I watched on youtube. If you don't believe me, please don't. That pyramid is just for fun anyway and I have no proof if it's real. I just thought it was awesome to add to this chapter. **

**Okay, that's the whole story. :)**

**FAVORITE PART:**

The Rachel-Kurt-Mercedes PM messaging and the dick pyramid explanation

**FAVORITE QUOTE and QUOTER:**

First is:

**Noah Puckerman:**

Still, Tina shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have cheated on you. She should have broke up with you, had break-up sex with you, then go fuck Trouty Mouth. That is way civilized than catching them humping each other.

and Second is:

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sighs* Yes, Rachel. Yes I 'am a gay idiot.

**WTF? Noah? Seriously? And for Blaine, yes, yes you are an idiot. But your still one cute overly-hair gelled hobbit. I love you! :)**

**Before I end this chapter, I would like you to:**

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER AND TELL ME WHAT QUOTE OR QUOTER OR PART YOU ENJOYED THE MOST

AND

THINK TINA AND MIKE SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER? 

AND

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER?

_No commercial for now you guys but I will give you a spoiler:_

_New Direction chapter next chapter. Still haven't thought of a good warbler Chapter besides Blaine and Kurt getting together...which is happening soon...*insert evil and smirking smile*_

_See ya later my readers and love you all! Mwah! :)_

_All my to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! :)_


	16. Journalist Brittany, Hello Kitty, & ATMC

************Facebook Addicts************

**Author's Note: Hi there everybody! Sorry for the late update! It was test week in my school last week and I needed focus and give my 100% on the mind-numbing. Anyway, I'm back bitches! *cue applause in the background* **

**Get ready for your daily dose of Gleek Facebook!**

**BTW, this is a mixed chapter! Both the New Directions and the Warblers are present.**

**BTWA, please read this story. It's about Thad. I'm in the works of writting a non-facebook fanfic about the Warblers with addition of three more new warblers. Think you guys can help me think off a title? I would be eternally grateful.**

**.net/s/7268992/1/bThad_bs_bLament_b **

**Warning: Rated T/M**

**Dedication: I dedicate this to ****HeartByutiAguilar**** for making me smile with the fanfic she wrote. I'm looking forward to more and VioletHillBeautiful, who thought me the page breakers. I owe you one sister! Also, to all my readers and reviewers who give me a smile every review they make. I love you guys! **

**PS: You guys will love the ending...or hate it...depends...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen:<strong>

**Journalist Brittany, Hello Kitty, and the ATM Club**

**Brittany S. Pierce **changed her name to **Journalist Brittany **

**Journalist Brittany: **I love my new name! I wanted it to be Brittany Tubbington but I'm not married to Lord Tubbington...that's sad...why can't people and cats get married?

**Kurt Hummel: ***gay facepalm*

**Santana Lopez: **Because that would be wrong

**Journalist Brittany: **What's wrong with people and cats married?

**Santana Lopez: **Let me put it in the easiest way to understand, Britt-Britt, people marry people and cats marry cats. Get it?

**Journalist Brittany: ***shakes head* no

**Santana Lopez: ***satanic facepalm*

**Journalist Brittany: **But I thought marriage is for two anythings that love each other?

**Santana Lopez: **Yes that is marriage all about

**Journalist Brittany: **Then why can't I marry Lord Tubbington? I love Lord Tubbington! And he loves me back!

**Santana Lopez: **How do you know he loves you back?

**Journalist Brittany: **Duh! He said it to me! He said. "Me-love you Brittany-ow!"

**Finn Hudson: **O_O Cats can say I love you?

**Santana Lopez: ***satanic and demonic facepalm*

**Journalist Brittney: **Duh!

**Finn Hudson: **...I never knew that...

**Santana Lopez: **I'm out of here! I need to get my daily dose of Asian banging, Asian style! Bye bitches! :)

**Artie Abrams: **Bow chika bow wow!

**Noah Puckerman: **As the great me would say, GET SOME!

**Rachel Berry: **Brittany, I find it very peculiar to why you changed your name. Why did you change your name?

**Journalist Brittany: **I just joined a club! It's called the Muckraker Club!

**Quinn Fabray: **You mean the Newspaper club? The club that writes the school newspaper?

**Journalist Brittany: **I don't know...but I get to write gossip! And I love gossip! Did you know that Rachel once stole Finny's boxer shorts while you and Finny are still together?

**Finn Hudson: **What the Peanut Butter Jelly Time are you talking about?

**Rachel Berry: **...long story Finn...

**Quinn Fabray: **I knew Rachel had a problem, I could feel in the deep part of my uterus...

**Noah Puckerman: **is resisting feeling jealous. Rach, you never stole my boxers before...

**Journalist Brittany: **That must mean she doesn't love you as much as she loves Finny

**Rachel Berry: **That is not true!

**Noah Puckerman: **I believe you...I just...feel jealous...that's all...

**Finn Hudson: **No wonder I was missing my hello kitty boxers...

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O You wear hello kitty boxers?

**Artie Abrams: **What the Fuckity Fuck Yow?

**Finn Hudson: ***dumb facepalm* ...that was a mistype...

**Rachel Berry: **No it wasn't. I can see a big picture of hello kitty in the middle...

**Noah Puckerman: **I can never look at you the same way again...

**Artie Abrams: **I need to watch two computers humping each other to get that fucking horrible image of mind yow!

**Journalist Brittany: **O_O Computers can do the nasty-nasty? How?

**Artie Abrams: **Don't ask Britt, it's too much for the innocent mind...

**Mercedes Jones: **Innocent? She slept with all the boys at McKinley, excluding Kurt.

**Rachel Berry: **She even sleeps with a lot of women...

**Quinn Fabray: **I once saw her have sex with a bush...

**Noah Puckerman: **I once saw her and the janitor in the school closet doing it...

**Finn Hudson: **I once saw her have sex with Lord Tubbington...the sight was more horrific than imagining Kurt and Blaine having sex against the wall...oh my GOD! GAY PORN STUCK TO MY HEAD! MAKE IT STOP! AHHHH!

**Journalist Brittany: **Dolphin and his dolphin doing the nasty-nasty would be capital H-O-T! :)

**Quinn Fabray: **As the great four eyed racist would say, TRUE THAT!

**Rachel Berry **and **24 **others likes this

**Artie Abrams: **You have no idea how much I love you right now, baby! :)

**Quinn Fabray: **Love you too ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Hi my Dolphin's dolphin! :)

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh...hi Brittany...why is my name my dolphin's dolphin?

**Journalist Brittany: **because you're my dolphin's dolphin silly! :)

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't get it.

**Wes Yang: ***Gay facepalm*I think what she means is that your Kurt's dolphin because Kurt's her dolphin...right Brittany?

**Journalist Brittany: **Right other other Asian! :)

**Wes Yang: **...I hate that nickname

**Blaine Anderson: **What would you like better? Other other Asian or Mr. Gay-for-Black-Men-and-Gavels?

**Wes Yang: **When will be the day you stop thinking I'm gay?

**Blaine Anderson: **The day I grow a vagina

**Journalist Brittany: **O_O You can grow a vagina too?

**Blaine Anderson: **... *gay facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***rolling on the floor laughing out loud*

**Blaine Anderson: ***kicks Wes's tiny disco stick*

**Wes Yang: **is in huge pain. Call the medic.

**Blaine Anderson: **The only medic I'll be calling are the people from a mental institute to put you there.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait a minute...Britt, why did you say too?

**Journalist Brittany: **I heard from Rachel and Mercedes and the other birds that you need to grow balls. Can you grow me a chewball for my Lord Tubbington?

**Wes Yang: **Cats don't need chewballs.

**Journalist Brittany: **I know, Lord Tubbington eats them. Duh!

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm* I always get a headache when I talk to her...

**Blaine Anderson: **Why did the other Warblers said that I need to grow balls? Who made that remark?

**Wes Yang: **...uh...not me...

**Blaine Anderson: **Then it's you

**Wes Yang: **I told you it wasn't me!

**Blaine Anderson: **Asians are terrible liars especially gay Asians like you

**Wes Yang: **RACIST AND SEXIST!

**Blaine Anderson: **So, you admit that you're gay?

**Wes Yang: **What part of the sentence "I'm in love with Santana" don't you understand?

**Journalist Brittany: **You're in love with Santana?

**Wes Yang: **Oh shit...

**Blaine Anderson: **:) Looks like the Satanic secret has finally been exposed and of all the people to find out about it, it had to be Brittany. I'm so sorry for you, fellow gay man.

**Wes Yang: **Brittany, can you promise me something?

**Journalist Brittany: **What's a promise?

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm* a promise is something you need to do for someone so that person would be happy and trust you. Can you do that?

**Journalist Brittany: **Do what?

**Wes Yang: ***Double Asian facepalm* Keep a promise?

**Journalist Brittany: **...I don't get what a promise is. Can you repeat it?

**Wes Yang: ***Triple Asian facepalm* Brittany, just listen to me. Don't tell Santana that I love her.

**Journalist Brittany: **Why? My parents say that if you love someone, you should tell it.

**Wes Yang: **Did you also know that if you tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like a fucking idiot?

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O did you just quote AVPM? My God...Kurt must be proud right now...

**Wes Yang: **Brittany, who are you going to believe, your parents or Joey Ritcher?

**Journalist Brittany: **...you're right...I should believe Joey Ritcher. I remember Dolphin made me watch AVPM and I find Ron super cute but Hermione was so hot.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O you found Herman hot?

**Wes Yang: **It's Hermione, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Whatever! She can't draw! That makes her a nuisance to our society!

**Journalist Brittany: **I have a thing for curly haired people.

**Wes Yang: **She's insane

**Blaine Anderson: **Just found out now? What planet do you live in?

**Journalist Brittany: **Once I was probe and the green aliens took me to Mars where they dissected my brain. I think that's reason why I'm like this.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **What the hell is she talking about?

**Blaine Anderson: **Ever since I met her, I stopped trying to decipher what she talks about. It's a waste of time. You'll never understand it.

**Wes Yang: **Back to what we are talking about, Brittany, can you promise me not to tell Santana about you find out?

**Journalist Brittany: **...Okay other other Asian! I won't tell San about you love her! You're lucky I love Joey Ritcher more than my own parents.

**Blaine Anderson: **Trent would so be happy with what she said.

**Wes Yang: **I don't like him anymore for what he did to Klaine. He is so not getting a solo this year.

**Blaine Anderson: **That's mean.

**Wes Yang: **So was Adolf Hitler yet he didn't make a cute couple not get together. He just killed a lot of Jewish people.

**Blaine Anderson: ***Gay facepalm* you are the only person I know who would compare my relationship with Kurt to Adolf Hitler.

**Wes Yang: **I'm also the only one you know who never wore Harry Potter boxers.

**Blaine Anderson: **:( You are a menace to the society.

**Wes Yang: **So are you with the deprivation of Klaine babies in our society!

**Journalist Brittany: **What are Klaine babies?

**Blaine Anderson: ***Gay facepalm* Don't you dare explain it to her!

**Wes Yang: **Babies that came from Kurt and Blaine's undying love for each other...or their groins...

**Blaine Anderson: ***Double gay facepalm* Fuck you, Wes. Just fuck you.

**Journalist Brittany: **Oh! I get it! You mean Dolphin babies!

**Wes Yang: ***laughing out loud louder*

**Blaine Anderson: ***kicks Wes Yang's disco stick again*

**Wes Yang: **If I don't have kids in my life in the future, Anderson, I will kick your virgin ass to Mr. Bang-Bang's grave.

**Blaine Anderson: **Dude! Move on from that gavel already!

**Wes Yang: **NEVER!

**Nick Connors: **Say never!

**Blaine Anderson: **WOULD YOU PLEASE CUT OUT THE OBSESSION WITH GAY BIEBER?

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>created a new page called **Anti-Trouty Mouth Club**

**Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman, Artie Abrams, **and **6 **others likes this

**Sam Evans: **Dude! What the hell is that!

**Artie Abrams: **That, my not-friend-anymore-bastard, is a club we, the awesome ND boys, created, to talk about our disgust with you, Trouty Mouth Fucking Slut!

**Finn Hudson: **Wait...I thought sluts are girls?

**Artie Abrams: **Fine, then cheating bastard, happy Frankenstein?

**Finn Hudson: **First it was fudge-filled man boobs, now it's Frankenstein. What next?

**Noah Puckerman: **Frankenstein with fudge-filled man boobs

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you

**Noah Puckerman: **Dude, I'm seriously questioning your sexuality.

**Artie Abrams: **Let's test Finn. Picture Kurt and Blaine taking each other's uniforms off at Dalton. Picture Kurt's legs wrapped around Blaine's waist and his hands wrapped around Blaine's neck while the two are making out with each other. Tongues licking any part they can. Imagine them groaning and moaning and whimpering. There both against the wall, naked, and Blaine's about to enter Kurt's virgin ass...

**Finn Hudson: **! DUDE! THAT IS SO WRONG! MY GOD! OH MY GRILLED CHEESUS! MY HEAD IS BURNING! MY BRAIN IS BURNING! ! I CAN'T GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

**Noah Puckerman: **Dude, that was hot and Blaine's hasn't entered yet.

**Artie Abrams: **Frankenstein with fudge-filled man boobs, you are definitely straight. Big Puckerman, you are the one who's motherfucking sex should be questioned.

**Noah Puckerman: **I'm with Rachel, wheels.

**Artie Abrams: **Right...Ms. Steal-Frankensteins-with-fudge-filled-man-boobs's-hello-kitty-underwear

**Finn Hudson: **First of all, fuck you for eternity Artie, and second, I TOLD YOU THAT WAS A MISTYPE!

**Noah Puckerman: **Right...*insert sarcasm* ...just keep telling yourself that.

**Sam Evans: **Guys, you all are way off the subject! What the hell is that page about?

**Noah Puckerman: **How stupid are you? I think you're stupider than Finn.

**Finn Hudson: **HEY!

**Artie Abrams: **Oh you know it's true, motherfucker.

**Sam Evans: **...is this about what happened to Tina and me? There something deeper behind what happened to us.

**Artie Abrams: **You just found out about that, now? Grilled Cheesus! You're slower than my fatherfucking grandmother, and she's 98 years old!

**Sam Evans: **Have you heard my side of the story?

**Finn Hudson: **Why would we listen to your side of the story, homewrecker?

**Journalist Brittany: **Sammy wreck a home? Poor home! Sammy, you are so mean! :(

**Artie Abrams: **Britt, leave this wall for awhile. Us ND boys need to teach Trouty Fucking Mouth a lesson.

**Journalist Brittany: **Is it about Math? Because I don't understand the difference between adding a number and subtracting a number. Why do numbers need to be added or subtracted? It doesn't make any sense!

**Finn Hudson: ***Hello Kitty facepalm* Babe, it's not about Math. It's about Sammy destroying the Asian relationship.

**Journalist Brittany: **Oh! That reminds me! I need to ask Sammy something! It's for my article at the Muckraker!

**Sam Evans: **What is it? Is it about me being a lying no good home wrecker? Because I'm not answering that even if you talk to me in Na'vi...okay I may answer but none of you know how to talk in Na'vi!

**Finn Hudson: **Only weird and sexless people talk in Na'vi

**Sam Evans: **And yet a lot of women sleep with me...funny...

**Journalist Brittany: **Sammy, is it true that your mother has pneumonia right now and because of her weak lungs, she's in a dangerous state?

**Finn Hudson: **What?

**Artie Abrams: **What the fuckity fuck fuck?

**Noah Puckerman: **Brittany, is that you? How can you say hard words like that?

**Journalist Brittany: **Duh! Coach Sylvester wrote this for me. I don't even get half the things I said.

**Noah Puckerman: ***Bad ass facepalm*

**Sam Evans: **Where did Sue get that?

**Journalist Brittany: **I don't know...answer the question. Confirm or deny and don't lie to me. Lord Tubbington will crawl in your room and scratch your face with his vicious cat nails if you lie to me.

**Finn Hudson: **I have new found respect for Lord Tubbington at the same time fear.

**Noah Puckerman: **Maybe you should wear your Hello Kitty underwear. Maybe that would give you courage.

**Finn Hudson: **Knock off the Hello Kitty jokes!

**Noah Puckerman: **Never gonna happen

**Sam Evans: **I confirm, Brittany. My mother is in the hospital. And if the guys can let me explain what happened to me and Tina, my mother has something to do with it.

**Finn Hudson: **Dudes, I think we should give Trouty Mouth a chance.

**Mike Chang: **you guys should.

**Artie Abrams: **Yow Asian! Long time no online! What's up homie?

**Mike Chang: **I miss your racism, Artie. I can't help but admit that. You too, Finn and Puck.

**Artie Abrams: **I miss you too, Asian.

**Finn Hudson: **Where have you been? You haven't been to school for a week and didn't online for a week as well. What's wrong with you?

**Noah Puckerman: **Did you get a penis enlargement to win Tina back?

**Finn Hudson: **Dude! Images! First Kurt and Blaine having sex...next Asian's Asian cock enlargement? What next?

**Artie Abrams: **Puck, I'm saying this as your fucking homie. Check your sexuality. Please! For my cock's sake.

**Mike Chang: **Uh guys...to answer Puckerman, I didn't have an enlargement. I just...didn't want to leave my house for awhile because of what's happening... Guys, just stop being so mean to Sam.

**Finn Hudson: **Mike, you should be the one mean to him. He slept with your Asian girl. Doesn't that make you Asianly angry?

**Mike Chang: **Of course it does, you're an idiot like you if you don't get angry of another guy sleeping with your girl.

**Finn Hudson: **Let me point this out, I'm NOT an IDIOT!

**Artie Abrams: **Even you know you're lying, Frankenstein with fudge-filled man boobs.

**Finn Hudson: **Stop calling me that!

**Artie Abrams: **NEVER!

**Mike Chang: **Sam, please tell me your side of the story.

**Sam Evans: **Okay, my mother got diagnosed of pneumonia three weeks ago and it seems that she's not getting any better. The doctors said it's because of her weak lungs. Dad and I've been staying with her all the time, that's why I was absent for a long time from school. And then last week, dad told me about my family's financial problems and he asked of what I think he should do and I don't know. I started panicking. I didn't know what to do...I went outside of the hospital and went to the park...and surprisingly...I saw Tina there all alone sitting against a tree. She was just sitting there. Staring into space. Of course, I went to talk to her and ask her what she was doing there. Soon, we started talking about our problems, how she was afraid you don't find her attractive and that's reason you won't sleep with her. I told her about my mother's problems. She offered her house for a place for me to rest and forget about what's happening in the hospital. Regretful now, I said yes to her. And...things just happened...

**Mike Chang: **Tina felt unattractive? Is she Asianly insane? She's the most beautiful Asian I've ever laid my eyes upon. How can she doubt her Asian self?

**Sam Evans: **You won't sleep with her.

**Mike Chang: **It is I who has the problem. Tina's perfect.

**Sam Evans: **Mike, I'm so sorry for what I've done.

**Mike Chang: **Thank you for saying sorry and for helping me see the light.

**Noah Puckerman: **O_OOh my God Mike's coming out!

**Artie Abrams: **O_O What the Asian Fuck?

**Finn Hudson: **I told you guys before, no male dancer can be straight. It was just in a matter of time...

**Mike Chang: **Guys! I'm not gay!

**Finn Hudson: **Really?

**Mike Chang: **Why is it we all doubt our sexualities?

**Finn Hudson: **Duh! Because we're in glee!

**Mike Chang: **Oh right...still not the point...I finally see that me Tina really didn't meant to cheat on me. Which means she still loves me. It was just an accident between you and Tina, right Sam?

**Sam Evans: **Yeah, just an accident.

**Mike Chang: **Then it's time for me to be a man and win her Asian heart back. I'm going to strengthen my abs. Bye guys!

**Noah Puckerman: **Damn...I thought he was going to come out...

**Artie Abrams: **Maybe you should come out

**Noah Puckerman: **Fuck you

**Artie Abrams: **Yup, you should come out.

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Finn Hudson: **Finny? Do you really have hello kitty boxers?

**Finn Hudson: ***sighs sadly* Sadly, yes.

**Journalist Brittany: **is turned on and so is Lord Tubbington.

**Finn Hudson: ***raised eyebrow* you want me to get my boxers from Rachel?

**Journalist Brittany: **Please do and then you can tap this. *Wiggles cute ass*

**Finn Hudson: **is running to the Berry's.

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O I can't believe Hello Kitty can also help you Get Some. Got to try that some time.

**Sam Evans: **I'll never underestimate the power of Hello Kitty again.

**Artie Abrams: **True the hell that!

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Quinn Fabray: **Hey Quinnie! Can I interview you?

**Quinn Fabray: **Is this the interview for the candidates for Prom Queen?

**Journalist Brittany: **No, for my article at the school newspaper!

**Quinn Fabray: **...then no. I don't want to be interviewed.

**Journalist Brittany: **Please? With the Prom Queen crown on top?

**Quinn Fabray: **...well if you insist...ask away :)

**Journalist Brittany: **:) Okay. Confirm or deny that you are yet again carrying a bastard child?

**Quinn Fabray: **WHAT?

**Artie Abrams: **As to quote Michael Jackson: "Quinn Fabray, is my lover, she's just a girl. Who thinks that I 'am the one but the kid is not my son." That child is not mine.

**Noah Puckerman: **Big Puckerman did not enter Prom Queen Bush V this time.

**Finn Hudson: **That is not mine. I never bathe in a hot tub again. Thanks a lot Lucy Caboosey...

**Sam Evans: **We didn't even get to second base...

**Quinn Fabray: **I 'am not pregnant again, Britt. Where'd you get that source?

**Journalist Brittany: **A journalist never tells her source. Now, excuse me while I tell Jacob Israel that you denied it. :)

**Quinn Fabray: ***Prom Queen facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **I'm going to kill that Jew.

**Noah Puckerman: ***Big Puckerman facepalm* Oh great...now you're Jewist.

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Mercedes Jones: **Hi Mercedes! Can I ask you a question?

**Mercedes Jones: **Sure, Britt! What's up?

**Journalist Brittany: **Confirm or deny that you are dating the secretary of the Gay Garglers, David Thompson.

**Mercedes Jones: **Yeah I'm dating him and btw, he's the secretary of the Warblers. Not the Gay Garglers.

**Journalist Brittany: **Confirm or deny that you lost your virginity to said Gay Gargler secretary.

**Mercedes Jones: **What the Tater Tots? Where'd you get that source?

**Journalist Brittany: **A journalist never tells her source. Rachel said I can't say.

**Mercedes Jones: **I'm going to kill that big nose hobbit.

**Journalist Brittany: **So, confirm or deny?

**Mercedes Jones: **Maybe...

**Journalist Brittany: **What does that mean? I'm confused.

**Mercedes Jones: **Brittany, who did you lose your virginity too?

**Journalist Brittany: **What's virginity?

**Mercedes Jones: ***Tater Tot facepalm* okay, how about, who did you first had sex with?

**Journalist Brittany: **My cousin, Tyler, when I was fifteen.

**Mercedes Jones: **O_O You lost your virginity to your cousin?

**Journalist Brittany: **Yeah :). In exchange, he gave me Lord Tubbington. Best deal ever! :)

**Journalist Brittany: **You didn't answer my question. Confirm or deny?

**Mercedes Jones: **I'm still thinking about losing my virginity to him.

**Journalist Brittany: **So...deny?

**Mercedes Jones: **I can't believe I'm asking you this. Do you think I should lose my virginity to him, Britt?

**Journalist Brittany: **Will he give you a cat in exchange?

**Mercedes Jones: **No

**Journalist Brittany: **Then don't lose your virginity to him. Lose it to someone who'll give you a cat after. :)

**Mercedes Jones: ***cough* why did I bother to ask her? *cough* Ahh...okay...thanks for the advice Brittany.

**Journalist Brittany: **No problem! Tell me when you lose the big V! Then maybe you and Lord Tubbington can hook up! :)

**Mercedes Jones: **You want me to have sex with a cat?

**Journalist Brittany: **Lord Tubbington is pretty good in the bed. :)

**Mercedes Jones: ***Tater Tots facepalm* I'll think about it...

**Journalist Brittany: **:)

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Thad Stevens: **Hey Mocky! Do you know me?

**Thad Stevens: **Mocky? Why do you call me Mocky? And yes, I do know you. You're Kurt's ex girlfriend when he was in his straight phase and the crazy girl in ND.

**Journalist Brittany: **Yup! That's me and my dolphin has baby hands!

**Thad Stevens: **What's with Mocky?

**Journalist Brittany: **Dolphin told me that you always say "You Mock Us, Sir". So, you're Mocky! :)

**Thad Stevens: **:( You mock me, ma'am!

**Journalist Brittany: **Yeah! That's how Kurt says you do it.

**Thad Stevens: **I'm going to kill that man...

**Journalist Brittany: **Can I ask you something, Mocky?

**Thad Stevens: **Please stop calling me Mocky, it's very insulting.

**Journalist Brittany: **Then what do you want to call you? How about pineapple lover?

**Thad Stevens: **Where did you get that from? How'd you know I love pineapples?

**Journalist Brittany: **A journalist never tells her sources and San's ex sex partner, Jordan, told me not to tell anyone.

**Thad Stevens: **That sex addict has had his last boner. I'm going to cut off his cock.

**Journalist Brittany: **So, how'd you like me to call you?

**Thad Stevens: **How about just Thad?

**Journalist Brittany: **Alright Just Thad it is! :)

**Thad Stevens: **No! Don't add Just to it!

**Journalist Brittany: **But you said I should call you Just Thad?

**Thad Stevens: **Remove the Just!

**Journalist Brittany:**No! I like it and so does Lord Tubbington!

**Thad Stevens: **Who in the world is Lord Tubbington?

**Journalist Brittany: **Oh my God, you don't know Lord Tubbington?

**Thad Stevens: **No. Why? Is he important?

**Journalist Brittany: **Of course!

**Thad Stevens: **Then who he is then? President of London or England or something?

**Journalist Brittany: **He's my cat.

**Thad Stevens: ***bisexual facepalm* Of course he is...

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow

**Thad Stevens: **O_O Lord Tubbington has a Facebook account? Can a cat even have a Facebook account?

**Journalist Brittany: **Yeah he has one and he has 500 friends. Add him so he could have 501 friends.

**Thad Stevens: **I 'am not adding a cat as a friend

**Lord Tubbington: **Me-I'mma cut you like a fish if you don't-ow

**Thad Stevens: **O_O How can a cat type? This is against nature!

**Lord Tubbington: **Me-I'm just amazing. Deal with it-ow

**Thad Stevens: **You are one seriously amazing cat. Can I do tests on you?

**Lord Tubbington: **Me-over my feline body-ow

**Thad Stevens: **Aww...so sad...fine I'll just add you as a friend.

**Thad Stevens **and **Lord Tubbington **are now friends

**Lord Tubbington: **Me-thank you so much-ow

**Thad Stevens: **You're welcome, cat-that-should-be-subjected-to-testing

**Journalist Brittany: **Hey Just Thad, can I ask you a question?

**Thad Stevens: ***sighs* What do you want to ask?

**Journalist Brittany: **Who are you with now?

**Thad Stevens: **Uh...no one...

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes really

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes really

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes really

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes really

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes really

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes really

**Journalist Brittany: **Really?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes Brittany! Really! Why won't you believe me?

**Journalist Brittany: **Because everyone has someone. You need a dolphin.

**Thad Stevens: **Huh? What does a dolphin have to do with this?

**Journalist Brittany: **Did you know that Blaine is Kurt's dolphin?

**Thad Stevens: **...does "dolphin" mean the person you love?

**Journalist Brittany: **Correct!

**Thad Stevens: **...no one loves me, Brittany. And I'm perfectly happy being alone.

**Journalist Brittany: **That's sad. Everybody needs somebody to love. I, for one, can't live without Lord Tubbington or Finn or Santana. All of them love me.

**Thad Stevens: **He doesn't love me...

**Journalist Brittany: **You said you don't like someone?

**Thad Stevens: **I said I wasn't with someone.

**Journalist Brittany: **What's the difference?

**Thad Stevens: **With someone means your dating, loving someone mean you love them. Get it?

**Journalist Brittany: **No

**Thad Stevens: ***Bisexual facepalm* ...anyway, he doesn't love me. He will never think of me more than just a friend. He will never love me. He's straight and a whore. But a hot whore...

**Journalist Brittany: **He? You're capital G-gay?

**Thad Stevens: **No...I'm bi

**Journalist Brittany: **Oh...you're bi-curious?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes

**Journalist Brittany: **You're attracted to both men and women?

**Thad Stevens: **Yes

**Journalist Brittany: **Oh...thanks! That is so going in my article.

**Thad Stevens: **Wait what article?

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Rachel Berry: **Hey Rachel! Can I ask you a question?

**Rachel Berry: **Is that question about the solo I'll be getting for Regionals? Because I have LONG list of songs I want to suggest to Mr. Schue, after he stops manwhoring of course...

**Journalist Brittany: **No. It's for the newspaper.

**Rachel Berry: **Oh...sure! This would help me be ready for tabloids about the success of my lead roles in Broadway. Ask away! Don't be afraid to ask!

**Journalist Brittany: **This one is easy: Who do you love more, Finny or Puck?

**Rachel Berry: **...Um...

**Journalist Brittany: **Um? There's no Um here? Choose between Finny or Puck!

**Rachel Berry:**Well...

**Journalist Berry: **There's no Well either, Rachel.

**Noah Puckerman: **I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!

**Rachel Berry: **Noah?

**Noah Puckerman: **I can't believe that you can't say my name right away. I'm your boyfriend, Finn's your ex. I SHOULD BE THE ONE YOU CHOOSE! No Well or Um! You are doubting, Rach!

**Rachel Berry: **Um...

**Noah Puckerman: **I've started doubting your feelings for me after the Hello Kitty slip-up. I was right!

**Rachel Berry: **Noah, let me explain.

**Noah Puckerman: **NO! Let me explain, Rach. WE ARE ON A BREAK! Comprede? Bye! *signs off*

**Rachel Berry: ***cries overdramatically*

**Journalist Brittany: **Um...Rachel? You didn't answer my question...

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany:<strong>

Hey San! The interviews are going just fine!

**Santana Lopez:**

Glad to hear that Britt! So, what juicy gossip do you have?

**Journalist Brittany: **

Well, Quinnie doesn't have a bun in the oven. Artie's not a father. So sad...

**Santana Lopez: **

Never would have guess that...what else?

**Journalist Brittany: **

Mercedes might lose her virginity to the Gay Garglers' secretary!

**Santana Lopez:**

It's about time she loses her Big V. Damn she's lucky to lose it to a first-class dick! What else?

**Journalist Brittany: **

I finally know the meaning of virginity! :)

**Santana Lopez: **

*Facepalm* That's great, Britt. What else?

**Journalist Brittany: **

One of the Gay Garglers has a crush on another Gay Garglers.

**Santana Lopez:**

There are at Gay Hogwarts. Sooner or later all of them fall with one another. What else?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Lord Tubbington and I get turned on with Hello Kitty boxers.

**Santana Lopez:**

*Satanic Facepalm* you and Frankenstein with fudge-filled-man-boobs really are perfect.

**Journalist Brittany:**

What's perfect?

**Santana Lopez:**

*Satanic facepalm* you don't make mistakes.

**Journalist Brittany:**

What's a mistake?

**Santana Lopez:**

*Satanic facepalm* Can we please move on? What else did you find out?

**Journalist Brittany: **

Puckleberry is on a break.

**Santana Lopez: **

Finally! Time to start sexting Puckerman! Bow chicka bow wow! ;)

**Journalist Brittany:**

I thought you were only having sex with other other Asian?

**Santana Lopez:**

Yeah but sex is not dating. I told you that a million times.

**Journalist Brittany:**

O_O you can count to a million?

**Santana Lopez:**

*Satanic facepalm*

**Journalist Brittany:**

Hey San! I just found out what a promise is.

**Santana Lopez:**

Really? Who told you that?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Duh! The President of Gay Garglers! :)

**Santana Lopez:**

Wes told you what a promise is?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Yup! And he also told me to listen to Joey Ritcher instead of my parents.

**Santana Lopez:**

Oh My Fucking Amy Winehouse! Please no AVPM! I'm sick and tired of Porcelain quoting AVPM quotes.

**Journalist Brittany:**

I also learned that other other Asian loves you.

**Santana Lopez: **

O_O Wait what the fuckity of all the fucks did you just say?

**Journalist Brittany:**

O_O Uh oh! I can't tell you that other other Asian loves you. I promised him.

**Santana Lopez:**

Wesley loves me?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Oh no!

**Santana Lopez:**

Wesley loves me?

**Journalist Brittany: **

He's going to steal Lord Tubbington from me. O_O The horror!

**Santana Lopez:**

*starting to smile a little* Wesley loves me.

**Journalist Brittany:**

Where could I hide Lord Tubbington?

**Santana Lopez:**

*smiles wider* Wesley loves me.

**Journalist Brittany:**

My panties?

**Santana Lopez:**

*smiles more wider* Wesley loves me

**Journalist Brittany: **

I know! Finny's hello kitty boxers! What do you think Santana?

**Santana Lopez:**

*smiling so wide her face is about to split* Wesley loves me.

**Journalist Brittany:**

What's wrong with you?

**Santana Lopez:**

Wesley loves me :)

**Journalist Brittany: **

I don't get it.

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany <strong>to **Tina Cohen-Chang: **Hi Tina! What's up?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Oh nothing...I just slept with Trouty Mouth while dating Mike, which thereby makes me a cheating Asian and we broke up, leaving me with a broken Asian heart. But besides that...nothing new...

**Journalist Brittany: **Oh okay! Can I ask you a question?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***Asian facepalm* Bye Brittany!

**Journalist Brittany: **O_O Why are you saying goodbye? Are you going to die? Please don't die! Please!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **My heart is dying. :(

**Journalist Brittany: **O_O Hearts can die?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **No. What I meant to say is that I have a broken heart.

**Journalist Brittany: **I know! Let Dr. Stubwells fix your heart!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Who in the name of all that is Asian is Dr. Stubwells?

**Journalist Brittany: **Duh! Lord Tubbington's doctor! Who else? He is like, the smartest guy I know. He knows the parts of the body like eyes, nose, mouth.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **...no doctor can fix a broken heart...

**Journalist Brittany: **Maybe he can't fic an Asian heart.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Artie is rubbing on you. You're becoming racist.

**Journalist Brittany: **I 'am not a race car driver. I'm a journalist! :)

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***Asian Facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson:<strong>

Hey K! It's me! T!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Trent? Wow it's been a long time since I saw you online. You haven't been to Dalton lately.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I'm at home.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Doing what?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Watching Starship like there's no tomorrow. :)

**Kurt Hummel:**

That is so amazing! I'm watching it too! Joey Ritcher looks so hot in a black suit. Sadly Darren's not here. Damn G.L.E.E.! Whatever that means!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Hey K! I have something to tell you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What is it?

**Trent Nicholson:**

You should hate me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Why? You never hurt me. Unlike Blaine...stupid emotionless kiss and tell hobbit. :(

**Trent Nicholson:**

I'm the reason Blaine and you are not together.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O What are you talking about?

**Trent Nicholson:**

He told you about a deal. Remember?

**Kurt Hummel:**

How you know that?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Not important. The deal he made was with me. He made a deal with me that he'll only date you once me and N are together. Since N and I are not together, so are you and Blaine.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Elizabeth?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Kurtie?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Dolphin?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Darren Criss's lover?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Hottest person I saw dance to Single Ladies?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

Hotter than Beyonce Knowles and Joey Ritcher?

**Kurt Hummel:**

...

**Trent Nicholson:**

K! For Warbler's sake, write any reply!

**Kurt Hummel:**

THAT IS THE MOST STUPID IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD! And I heard a lot of stupid ideas in my life. Brittany supplies them everyday!

**Trent Nicholson:**

I know. Blame him.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Why in God's name did you say yes?

**Trent Nicholson:**

...because he was the only one who truly cared about my feelings for N.

**Kurt Hummel:**

But we both been hurting ever since. Is it really worth it?

**Trent Nicholson:**

I told him we could just end the deal. I would love to see you guys get together than myself and N more. You guys are perfect for each other. But he won't end it.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You know Blaine. He is the perfect friend. If you want his left hand, he'll give it to you in a heartbeat.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I'm so freaking sorry, K. I know I suck as your brister and friend. Maybe I should move to Winnipeg...

**Kurt Hummel:**

:) That's in Canada! In case you didn't know.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Why aren't you mad?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh I'm mad. Furious even.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Then why aren't you showering me with swears?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Because I have a plan...

**Trent Nicholson:**

O_O Does this involve you wearing a unitard? Because I'm already saying yes here if you will. :) Still can't forget that Single Ladies dance of yours.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I have something even better. Something that would make Blaine Anderson end the deal and be with me.

**Trent Nicholson:**

O_O Tell me more...

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>

Hi boo! Long time no chat! :)

**Journalist Brittany:**

Hi Dolphin! How are you?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm good. Watching AVPM and AVPS and MAMD and Starship straight for hours can really help forget the stress of a stupid hobbit.

**Journalist Brittany:**

...are we talking about Rachel?

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Gay facepalm* the other stupid hobbit

**Journalist Brittany:**

Oh! Dolphin's dolphin!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wait what? You call Blaine "Dolphin's dolphin"?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Yeah. Because he's your dolphin.

**Kurt Hummel:**

No he's not.

**Journalist Brittany:**

*confused look* Why?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Ask him. But don't believe in anything he says. He's just scared of getting into a relationship with his awesome best friend. Stupid meaningless deal.

**Journalist Brittany:**

Awesome best friend? Other other Asian?

**Kurt Hummel:**

no ME!

**Journalist Brittany:**

Oh that would have been weird and besides, other other Asian loves San.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wait what? San? Satan? SANTANA! Wesley loves Santana? WTFDC? Has all Asian sunk or Hell finally froze? The gay Asian in love with the devil? Are you kidding me?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Dolphin, I'm not a kid anymore. I can't be kidding you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Gay facepalm* I need to chat with Wesley.

**Journalist Brittany:**

But I need to ask you something.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Confirm or deny the rumour that you are going on a date with fellow Warbler next week.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Who told you that?

**Journalist Brittany:**

A journalist never tells her source and besides, Mercedes will kill me if I told you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

That woman is so going to die a virgin. I will not tell you, Britt.

**Journalist Brittany:**

So that's a confirm.

**Kurt Hummel:**

No

**Journalist Brittany:**

So you're denying it.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not denying it either.

**Journalist Brittany:**

I'm confused.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Britt, here is a tip for you. Don't believe rumours that often.

**Journalist Brittany:**

But Coach Sylvester told me to believe them.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Who do you believe? Rumours or Joey Ritcher?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Duh! Joey Ritcher!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Well then never believe in Rumours okay?

**Journalist Brittany:**

Okay Dolphin.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Good to hear that.

**Journalist Brittany:**

So, does this mean you confirm that Rumour?

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Gay Facepalm* Maybe... :)

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Another chapter has finally ended folks. How sad. It has a sort of cliffhanger...don't you think?<strong>

**Okay. Summarizing the whole story.**

**Basically, this chapter is mostly about Brittany interviewing all lot of people about certain gossip she finds out. **

**The sad thing is, one of the gossips break up Rachel and Puck, another told Santana that Wes loves her, and another gossip humiliated Finn because of his Hello Kitty boxers. So sad...**

**On the last part, it is already hinting on the next chapter. Spoiler even. Kurt will be going on a date with a Warbler that would make Blaine super angry or jealous that he would finally end the deal. The main key word here is "would". I'm not implying if Kurt and Blaine "will" get together. There is still a chance they don't get together.**

**But I'm not mean. Maybe...**

* * *

><p><strong>FAVORITE PART:<strong>

The Anti-Trouty Mouth Club and Wes-Blaine-Brittany interview. There were both equally funny to me. :)

**FAVORITE QUOTER AND QUOTE: **

I simply cannot choose between this three. Wes, Blaine, and Brittany are a tie for me. :)

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Gay facepalm* you are the only person I know who would compare my relationship with Kurt to Adolf Hitler.

**Wes Yang:**

I'm also the only one you know who never wore Harry Potter boxers.

**Blaine Anderson:**

:( You are a menace to the society.

**Wes Yang:**

So are you with the deprivation of Klaine babies in our society!

**Journalist Brittany: **What are Klaine babies?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Gay facepalm* Don't you dare explain it to her!

**Wes Yang:**

Babies that came from Kurt and Blaine's undying love for each other...or their groins...

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Double gay facepalm* Fuck you, Wes. Just fuck you.

**Journalist Brittany: **

Oh! I get it! You mean Dolphin babies!

* * *

><p><strong>Now, before I end this chapter, I would love it if you:<strong>

REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT PART OR QUOTE YOU LOLed OR LOVED

AND

GIVE ME SOME QUESTIONS YOU WOULD LIKE BRITTANY TO ASK ANY OF THE WARBLERS OR ND. THE MORE CRAZY AND BIZARRE IT IS, THE MORE LIKELY I'LL CHOOSE IT.

for example: 

* * *

><p><strong>Me: <strong>Britt? Can you ask Kurt if he ever had dreams of Darren Criss chained up on his bed and he was straddling him?

**Journalist Brittany: **Sure Nina! :)

**Journalist Brittany: **Hey Dolphin? Can I ask you a question?

**Kurt Hummel: **If it envolves the clothes you'll be wearing, never hesitate on asking me. What's up?

**Journalist Brittany: **Confirm or deny the rumour that you dream of Darren Criss chained up on your bed and riding him like a horse?

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O Who told you that?

**Journalist Brittany: **A journalist never tells. Also, Nina will kill me! :)

**Kurt Hummel: ***angry face* Whoever this Nina is, she is so going to hell.

**Journalist Brittany: **Confirm or deny?

**Kurt Hummel: **:( Sadly, I'm proud to say that I have dreamt of Darren Criss and me in that situation numerous times without clothing. I can't help it. He is one hot fucking man. No person doesn't want to fuck Darren. NO ONE!

**Journalist Brittany: **Okay! Thanks Kurtie!

**Kurt Hummel: **Nina, prepare to meet your doom! Kurt Hummel style!

**That would happen if you give me a question to ask. Add your name or nickname so that I could credit you in the Author's Note. **

* * *

><p><em>Again, no commercial. Sadly, my mind's not working that much with commercials. If someone can help me add a commercial, I'll totally be grateful. <em>

_So instead of a commercial, I'll give a spoiler._

_The next chapter will be a Warbler chapter consisting of various reactions between the Warblers and Kurt's date with another Warbler. Also, Thad's got a new someone. And three Warblers will be uber jealous on the next chapter. _

_See ya guys soon and keep reading this fanfic! Luv u guys! Mwah! _

_All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!_

_PS: Blaine's transferring to McKinley! RIB has finally made a good decision for the first time in their ugly lives. :) _


	17. Optimus Prime, Thadlene, and Blanket

**Author's Note: You guys probably hate me right now...don't you? *waits for answer, hears crickets* Le sigh...I'm sorry guys. I hate not getting to update this AWESOME fanfic story. This fanfic has the highest reviews I've ever had and that's thanks to all you guys. Though now I'm sad since I disappoint you guys. I'm nothing but a disgrace...le sigh...again...**

**Okay...I seriously need to stop being an emo here or you'll think I'm thinking of killing myself...I'll only do that once Klaine breaks *cross your fingers, toes, and eyes***

**I got a huge feedback from you guys at the last chapter. I liked everyone's so I'll be placing them in the next chapters to come. Though I've specifically liked ****Kitalene** **wherein I could possibly use for at least three chapters. To ****Kitalene****, whoever you are, please review to this chapter and tell me what you think of what I did to your review. Also, the question you asked, will be definitely be used. **

**Theme: Maturity with Swears and talks about suicide.**

**Rated: M for well...being inappropriate.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not a.) a man, (duh) b.) old (double duh) c.) a tv show writer (triple duh) and d.) Ryan Murphy (ew I'm not bald) so definitely, I do not own Glee. Or Facebook (clearly, I don't own it). Cause if I did, I would be swimming in money...le sigh...things I wish to have yet I don't. **

**I'll always have Klaine though... **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen:<strong>

**Optimus Prime, Thadlene, and Blanket **

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: Wes Yang<strong>! I need to talk to you! NOW!

**Wes Yang: **Are you on your man period again because that is WAY too often this past few days.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Dolphin has lady eggs?

**Wes Yang: **Lady eggs? You mean ovaries?

**Aaron Houhgston: **Yup! :)

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm* No, he does not have lady eggs, Aaron. He has gay eggs.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O what are gay eggs?

**Kurt Hummel: **WESLEY! Stop chatting with Aaron! I need to talk to you and your love for the devil, you Asian idiot!

**Wes Yang: **Love for the devil? Kurt, what are you talking about?

**Kurt Hummel: **The devil also goes by the name Santana Lopez, aka the Satanic Devil of New Directions and my life.

**Wes Yang: **O_O Brittany told you, didn't she?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes, so PM me now!

**Wes Yang: **I told Britt not to tell anybody!

**Kurt Hummel: **Well apparently, I'm not anybody.

**Wes Yang: **Just kill me now! Please! Someone get a knife and stab me now! Stab me 23 times like what they did to Julius Caesar!

**Blaine Anderson: **like this if you want to kill Wes since you met him.

**Thad Stevens, Jeff Jefferson, **and **657 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **I hope all of you go to hell! I hope you all suffer under the wrath of my beloved gavel!

**Blaine Anderson: **So will you with what Kurt's going to do to you.

**Wes Yang: **Save me and I promise, I'll never tease Katy Perry again. I will even worship her as my eternal goddess. I promise this in the name of Mr. Bang-Bang and my ten inched cock.

**David Thompson: ***Chocolate facepalm* his talking about his cock again...

**Blaine Anderson: **David, you love his cock. Wes, No deal man

**David Thompson: **I will never get tired at saying "Fuck you, Katy hobbit!"

**Wes Yang: **How about I'll buy you three tons of hair gel?

**Blaine Anderson: **Tempting...tempting...tempting...tempting...tempting...tempting...tempting...NO!

**Wes Yang: **I'll buy you endless supply of redvines?

**Blaine Anderson: **I already have those, Wesley. I'm the reason the Redvines' industry is filthy rich.

**Wes Yang: **Come on man! Wait...I'll give you a picture of Kurt wearing his unitard in Single Ladies.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O How the hell did you get a picture of Kurt in his unitard in Single Ladies?

**Wes Yang: ***insert Asian smirk* Santana gave it to me to use just in case I need to blackmail the boy but I think I'll use it now. Can you talk to him?

**Blaine Anderson: **HELL YEAH! Send me the picture and I'll join your PM talk.

**David Thompson: **DAMNIT! I wished I made a bet with someone. I KNEW Blaine would say yes when it involves having a picture of Kurt to masturbate with.

**Blaine Anderson: **Shut up, Porn Addict.

**David Thompson: **That's not an insult to me anymore. You can even call me Papa Porn and I wouldn't mind.

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert disgusted face* Ew

**Wes Yang: **Good, thanks Blaine. At least with you there, I'll have someone to witness my murder.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, if there is anyone who will murder you at Dalton. It will be me. *insert evil laugh*

**Wes Yang: **So this is what happens when you associate yourself to two sexless gay men. What the hell was I thinking?

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O you think?

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, Aaron!

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>

Okay Kurt, what do you want to talk about?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I think you know what I want to talk about, Wesley.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm out of loop here, what exactly are we talking about?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine? What the hell are you doing here?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wes asked me to be the witness just in case you murder him on FB.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Gay facepalm* How can someone be murdered in FB? WE ARE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME ROOM!

**Blaine Anderson:**

You may have a point there...Oopss..

**Wes Yang:**

I'm in the bathroom actually...doing my business.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Gay facepalm* DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT! GREAT! NOW I HAVE A PERMANENT PICTURE STUCK IN MY MIND! You have no idea how many girl on boy love scenes I need to watch to remove those pictures.

**Kurt Hummel:**

My face looks like the time Snape was talking to Harry Potter about his mother and how Snape wanted to touch his mom's boobies and go... boblboblboboobobbbobboboblo!. Darren's face there was PURE EPIC!

**Blaine Anderson:**

UGH! Not another AVPS reference AND a Darren Criss reference! So sick of those.

**Kurt Hummel:**

If you don't want to see an AVPS or Darren Criss reference, you should leave this PM!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine

**Wes Yang:**

WOULD YOU STOP SAYING FINE? I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON MY BUSINESS!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wes, would you stop doing your business while you're in FB?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Yeah, that is so wrong! That's more wrong than Rebecca Black being a singer!

**Wes Yang:**

Not to worry, I just ended it. :)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Gross

**Blaine Anderson:**

Double gross

**Wes Yang:**

Now can we carry on with this. Also, Klaine don't talk to each other. It's only going to end badly.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not talking to Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm not talking to the Darren Criss-obsessed Warbler.

**Kurt Hummel:**

And I'm not talking to the Katy Perry-obsessed Warbler.

**Wes Yang:**

Oh no! Not another Criss vs. Perry argument! Blaine, leave this PM now! I need to chat with Kurt alone.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Why should I leave? The never-will-ever-be-with-Darren-Criss warbler should leave.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*insert shocked face* I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT, BLAINE! Fine, I'll leave but before that. Let me say this! *insert middle finger* FUCK YOU, ANDERSON! *walks out dramatically*

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh how you wish, you practically wet yourself with that thought of fucking me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

IN. YOUR. DREAMS! *walks out dramatically.*

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>

Well...that was fun to watch. *insert sarcasm*

**Blaine Anderson:**

It's your fault. You made me go to this PM. Not only is my situation with Kurt worse, Darren Criss is in the picture again. Bastard.

**Wes Yang:**

You know, you're not helping your situation with Kurt with you loathing Darren Criss.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You're wrong.

**Wes Yang:**

About?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Loathing Darren Criss

**Wes Yang:**

How?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I FREAKING DESPISE THAT CURLY-HAIRED BASTARD! I HOPE HE GOES TO STRAIGHT-GUYS-WHO-LOOK ABSOLUTELY SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT-HELL!

**Wes Yang:**

...Blaine, you have another problem. First, your addiction to Katy Perry. Second, your addiction to Kurt's Single Ladies dance. Third, your secret love for Redvines. Fourth, your addiction to masturbating to Kurt's picture. And now, fifth, your absolute hatred to Darren Criss. Dude, you way too many problems for a seventeen year old.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Life sucks.

**Wes Yang:**

Freaking tell me about it.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Hey, can I ask you a question?

**Wes Yang:**

You want Kurt's Single Ladies picture even though you didn't help me with Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well...yeah...and what is the reason Kurt wanted to talk to you.

**Wes Yang:**

As the great Kurt Hummel would say, le Darren Criss sigh...It's about Britt telling Kurt about my feelings for Santana.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Honestly, I still find that hard to believe.

**Wes Yang:**

I'm not surprised.

**Blaine Anderson:**

So...have you told her?

**Wes Yang:**

What are you nuts? Oh right you are...

**Blaine Anderson:**

So, you haven't?

**Wes Yang:**

Duh

**Blaine Anderson:**

What is with people who can't admit their true feelings for someone?

**Wes Yang:**

I don't know. Honestly, I have no experience.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Me too.

**Wes Yang:**

Life sucks.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yeah. It suckier than my favorite tv show, Brothers and Sisters, ending.

**Wes Yang:**

I loved that show! Got team Scotvin!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Dude, you are so gay...

* * *

><p><strong>Aaron Houghston: <strong>AHHHH! I'm being attack!

**David Thompson: **What! Where are you?

**Aaron Houghston: **In my bedroom!

**David Thompson: **? Who can attack you in your bedroom?

**Aaron Houghston: **He's white and long and soft and I can't get him off of me.

**David Thompson: **...dude, are you talking about your blanket?

**Aaron Houghston: **Get Blanket away from me!

**David Thompson: **Dude, that's not a person.

**Aaron Houghston: **Blanket won't let me go! Help! I'm becoming a mummy.

**David Thompson: **I'm coming. I'm coming. Aaron, you are such a porn-marathon ruiner.

**Jordan McClaine: **Feels so sad for David. Like this if you someone once ruined your porn-marathon. Nobody should ruin someone with their porn marathons.

**Mercedes Jones, Wes Yang, **and **4,324,342 **others like this

**Jordan McClaine: **So many porn-addicts, so little porn videos left to watch

**Artie Abrams: **^True that^

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>is sad and wants to die now. Someone PM me now or else you'll see me hanging up the chandelier in the commons room.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* did you buy a Rebecca Black album? Because buying that album alone is suicide.

**Thad Stevens: **Are you mocking me sir?

**Kurt Hummel: **NEWS FLASH, THAD! You always think someone is mocking you!

**Thad Stevens: **That is a lie, the same lie as Justin Bieber being hot...and straight!

**Nick Connors: **Hey! What is with all the Bieber hate? Why can't you guys just love him?

**Thad Stevens: **Because he sucks! He should suck my dick!

**Nick Connors: **O_O I thought you're straight?

**Kurt Hummel: ***Gay facepalm* As much as I believe that Justin Bieber is not hot nor straight, I'm not lying.

**Thad Stevens: **YOU CALLING ME A LIAR NOW? YOU MOCK ME GAY SIR!

**Kurt Hummel:***Gay facepalm* You're insane, more insane than Lindsay Lohan in rehab.

**Thad Stevens: **...that's right...

**Kurt Hummel: **What's right? Lindsay Lohan in rehab?

**Thad Stevens: ***Bi facepalm* NO! Not Lindsay Lohan in rehab, even though being rehab is the only place for her here in this world. You're right to call me insane.

**Kurt Hummel: **...okay tell what's going on now or I'll steal your NCIS dvd collection

**Thad Stevens: ***wide eyes looking frightened* NO! Not Mark Harmon! PLEASE DON'T STEAL HIM AWAY FROM ME!

**Kurt Hummel: **:) And you say I'm crazy in love with Darren Criss.

**Thad Stevens: **You are,

**Kurt Hummel: **Keep those delicious and juicy mouth of yours shut!

**Thad Stevens: **O_O you think my mouth is delicious and juicy?

**Kurt Hummel: **...uh...YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT HERE! I'M NOT KIDDING WITH THE DVDs!

**Thad Stevens: ***smirking* wait till Blaine finds out about you thinking of my mouth like that. Muhahaha!

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes* bitch please you make it sound like Blaine and I are together...I hate his perfect ass right now. Let's go to PM NOW!

**Thad Stevens:**

K. :) If that happens, I'm pretty sure fireworks would be cast all over the world and Twitter will have that topic as the most talked about.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I wish...anyway, I'm not interested in Blaine anymore...In fact I hate him.

**Thad Stevens: **

WHAT! What the hell did you just wrote? I think my eyes are going blind because...you wrote you're not interested in Blaine anymore...

**Kurt Hummel:**

You read right, Thaddeus. I don't like Blaine anymore, I hate him now.

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thad?

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thaddeus?

**Thad Stevens: **

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Mr. Stevens?

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh look, Mark Harmon's online to chat!

**Thad Stevens:**

HAVE ALL THE AERESOL IN YOUR HAIR FINALLY SIPPED INTO YOUR HEAD!

**Kurt Hummel:**

You did not just insult my hairsprays AND hair! You've crossed a line, mock boy.

**Thad Stevens:**

What you just wrote about not liking Blaine anymore is WRONG! You just insulted Mark Zuckerburg's creation by writing that in Facebook!

**Kurt Hummel:**

What's so wrong with me not liking Blaine anymore in a way I want to get into his pants and rape him?

**Thad Stevens:**

GOD! MY EYES! THAT MESSAGE BURNS! PLEASE DELETE THAT! I STILL WANT TO SEE THE PREMIERE OF NCIS SEASON 9!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Men are such babies...

**Thad Stevens:**

Kurt, are you serious?

**Kurt Hummel:**

As serious as Britney Spears thinking that shaving her head was a good idea.

**Thad Stevens:**

My God. This is a mortal sin.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Me not liking Blaine enough to want to have sex with him till I die a naked and sexy death is a mortal sin?

**Thad Stevens:**

DUH!

**Kurt Hummel:**

You really are insane...

**Thad Stevens:**

I'm insane in another way.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What do you mean "in another way"?

**Thad Stevens:**

I'll tell you when you admit to me you're lying about not liking Blaine anymore.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Then I'll guess you won't ever tell me since I'm lying.

**Thad Stevens:**

Kurt, even if we're on Facebook, you still suck at lying.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Now YOU are mocking me!

**Thad Stevens:**

Hey! Get your own line!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I thought you said you don't say that line?

**Thad Stevens:**

People change

**Kurt Hummel:**

Insane as any man can be...except Darren Criss...of course :)

**Thad Stevens:**

*Bifacepalm* Of course.

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson:<strong>

K? You there?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wait a moment...

**Trent Nicholson:**

*curious look* are you masturbating to AVPM again? Because that's seriously getting frequent...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Trent! I told you that was a secret! And no, I'm not masturbating to AVPM!

**Trent Nicholson:**

? you're lying. I could feel you lying with your words.

**Kurt Hummel:**

At least I don't masturbate to MAMD

**Trent Nicholson:**

You can't blame me. Have you seen Joey and Joe there? Totally hotter than Darren Criss...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Take that back!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Make me!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I won't go on a date with you tomorrow if you don't take it back and therefore feel guilty for what you had done!

**Trent Nicholson:**

...are you Jewish?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm an Atheist. I don't believe in God. Why are you asking me this?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Because you easily can make me guilty

**Kurt Hummel:**

It's part of the Hummel charm. :)

**Trent Nicholson:**

Whatever. I take back what I said about Joey and Joe being hotter than Darren Criss even if it's against my will.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Good boy! :)

**Trent Nicholson:**

So...we're still on tonight?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah. Tonight will show how much Blaine loves me and by tomorrow, we'll be together. :) At long last.

**Trent Nicholson:**

at last...and then Klaine babies will be born!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Alright hold on, what's with the Klaine babies? All most all the Warblers said this at some point.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Have you seen you two? For two gay men, you are hell attractive that you make other men insecure to the bones. Your children will be blessed, I'm sure of that.

**Kurt Hummel:**

We aren't even together yet, Trent.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Bitch please, the moment you guys are official, I'm pretty sure you won't be leaving either one's dorm room for a week. BTW, I need to buy you condoms as a "finally together" gift...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't get ahead of yourself, Trent. We're not sure if my plan will work.

**Trent Nicholson:**

That's like telling me that having a circumcised penis makes you not a Jewish man.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...what the hell does that have to with what I said?

**Trent Nicholson:**

I don't know, I just liked to write penis and Jewish in one message.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Gay facepalm* you are...I can't find an adjective capable to insult you.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Thanks, I think.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>

Kurt, have you thought about being honest with me yet?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thad, I'm seriously not lying to you. I swear on Marc Jacobs's grave.

**Thad Stevens:**

*sigh* I can't believe you're the kind of person to lie to me. It mocks me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*rolls eyes* Can we change the subject for awhile? What's wrong with you?

**Thad Stevens:**

I feel like a cheating whore.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Are you sure you're Thad? Because that's Jordan's line.

**Thad Stevens:**

Ugh! Can we not talk about Jordan?

**Kurt Hummel:**

What's wrong with you and Jordan?

**Thad Stevens:**

Nothing

**Kurt Hummel:**

Then why don't you want to talk about Jordan.

**Thad Stevens:**

Because I don't want to!

**Kurt Hummel:**

You sound like a five year old boy who's being given broccoli for breakfast.

**Thad Stevens:**

Ew...broccoli...I just...don't want to talk about Jordan.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...wait...hold damn second here...quoting my husband aka Darren Criss..."YOU'VE GOT A CRUSH!"

**Thad Stevens:**

...it's not a crush anymore...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh My Supermegafoxyawesomehot GOD! You're in love with Jordan! OMSG! I'm so happy for you!

**Thad Stevens:**

:(

**Kurt Hummel:**

...what's wrong?

**Thad Stevens:**

Are you forgetting that Jordan is straight and therefore we cannot be together?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Have you ever heard the saying "love conquers all"?

**Thad Stevens:**

That doesn't apply to people like me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...Thad...that is the most horrible thing to say. You. Are. An. Amazing. Person. Don't forget that. Why would you think love doesn't apply to you?

**Thad Stevens:**

I always fall in love with people who can't love me back...Patrick...Wesley...and now, Jordan, my best friend!

**Kurt Hummel:**

...you can't control who you love...

**Thad Stevens:**

Love's not for me, Kurt. It's not meant for me. I should simply use it for pleasure. And that's why I feel like a cheating whore.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Okay, spill about that because my mind is not working with the "cheating whore".

**Thad Stevens:**

I met this girl name Kitalene but I call her Kit and she...is a cute girl. She's about sixteen and I like her.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...I still don't get the "cheating whore"

**Thad Stevens:**

Kit has a boyfriend who's in college, a freshmen, and they rarely see each other anymore. Since I'm a junior and she's a sophomore...well...we sort of...hit it off...and then...somehow...I...asked...her out...and it ended with us making out...a lot...in various places...so...

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O

**Thad Stevens:**

Kurtie?

**Kurt Hummel:**

You are a cheating whore...but more of an adulterous bastard.

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* what am I going to do, Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Do you really like her? Or are you just using her to get over Jordan?

**Thad Stevens:**

...I 'am a bastard...my answer is the second one.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I don't like this, Thad. Not liking this one bit.

**Thad Stevens:**

She still loves her boyfriend. We're just...tending to each other's needs.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Cheating is wrong.

**Thad Stevens:**

I know. I'm ashamed. *bows head in shame*

**Kurt Hummel:**

Does Kit like you back?

**Thad Stevens:**

No idea. All I know is that we like each other physically.

**Kurt Hummel:**

That is definitely not good. You should find out.

**Thad Stevens:**

Okay.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Also, I think you should tell Jordan you're feelings for him.

**Thad Stevens:**

As David's girlfriend would say, HELL TO THE NO! No way am I telling him that.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I understand you don't want to tell him but come on, you're hurting yourself in the process.

**Thad Stevens:**

Kurt, please understand. Jordan is like land. My paradise. I'm like the sky. So very far from that paradise. Jords and I are that different. But with Kit, A GIRL, she's like the stars. The stars stay in the sky. Which makes us more perfect with each other.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You do know that land cannot be seen without the sky. And without the sky, land would be dried up since the evaporated water has no place to go up to. Stars are not that important. But the sky and land are imporant.

**Thad Stevens:**

Whatever Kurt. But I tell you now, I won't tell Jordan about my feelings. It's better this way.

* * *

><p><strong>Kitalene Bates <strong>and **Thad Stevens **are friends

**Kitalene Bates: **Hi Thaddeus!

**Thad Stevens: **You mock me, ma'am! You sound like my mother!

**Kitalene Bates: **:) Hi Thad! There, happy?

**Thad Stevens: ***insert sarcasm* thrilled.

**Kitalene Bates: **What's wrong?

**Thad Stevens: **I need to talk to you.

**Kitalene Bates: **Is this about what happened last Saturday. I didn't mean to bite your lips that hard.

**Thad Stevens: **No, not that. Just...PM me?

**Kitalene Bates:**Oke Dokey! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Kitalene Bates:<strong>

What's up, mock boy?

**Thad Stevens:**

First Kurt calls me that, now you. Who's next?

**Kitalene Bates:**

What's the problem, Thad?

**Thad Stevens:**

What are we?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Human beings

**Thad Stevens:**

Very funny, Kit. I'm serious. What exactly is our relationship?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Well, since I'm a girl. I think you should tell me. What are we?

**Thad Stevens:**

You gave me back my question.

**Kitalene Bates:**

:P

**Thad Stevens:**

Kit, you have a boyfriend. Technically, what we're doing is wrong. This is cheating. I'm a adulterous bastard and you're...

**Kitalene Bates:**

What? An cheating whore? That's not a problem with me, Thad.

**Thad Stevens:**

How can cheating not be a problem?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Look, my boyfriend is in college. Miles away from me. I highly doubt that he's not cheating on me with college girls. All college boys date and sleep with college girls. It's a fact.

**Thad Stevens:**

Wait. You're okay with being in a relationship with a guy who you KNOW that is cheating on you and yet you stay with him?

**Kitalene Bates:**

My boyfriend and I are perfect for each other. Based on social standings, but we hardly love each other. We're in like an...open relationship. We're together yet we can be with other people.

**Thad Stevens:**

What kind of a relationship is that?

**Kitalene Bates:**

An open relationship. Duh.

**Thad Stevens:**

How can you live with that?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Easy. I like you.

**Thad Stevens:**

But you're not willing to break up with your boyfriend?

**Kitalene Bates:**

I'm not willing. I CAN'T break up with him. My parents are going to go crazy if I do.

**Thad Stevens:**

I can't be with you, Kit. If you're with someone else.

**Kitalene Bates:**

I thought you're running away from someone. You told me once, I don't think you remember, you like this girl Jordan. Right?

**Thad Stevens:**

O_O Uh...right.

**Kitalene Bates:**

And you told me, you guys can't be together. You didn't told me why but I assume that she's with someone else. Correct?

**Thad Stevens:**

Uh...correct.

**Kitalene Bates:**

Well...let's make her insanely jealous.

**Thad Stevens:**

I don't know if that's a good idea.

* * *

><p><strong>Aaron Houghston <strong>to **David Thompson: **David, thanks for saving me from that white monster, Blanket.

**David Thompson: ***resisting to facepalm* you're welcome, David.

**Journalist Brittany: **Aaron? You got attacked by Blanket too?

**Aaron Houghston: **You were attack too?

**David Thompson: **I should get out of here before I lose the chance.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson:<strong>

Life sucks.

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah

**David Thompson:**

Hey gay guys! What's with all the life sucking?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Neither Wes nor I can tell our true feelings to people we love.

**Wes Yang:**

And that makes our lives suck.

**David Thompson:**

Ahh...this reminds me of Transformers...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Transformers?

**Wes Yang:**

Dude, what's Megan Fox's boobs have to do with our lives sucking?

**David Thompson:**

Wes, Transformers is more than just Megan Fox's boobs.

**Wes Yang:**

Really?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm seriously not getting what you're talking about, David.

**David Thompson: **

I remember Optimus Prime once said this...

**Wes Yang:**

"I wish I was human so that I could tap Megan Fox."

**David Thompson: **

*Facepalm* no you idiot! Besides, OP never said that!

**Wes Yang:**

In his motherboard, he did.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Gay Facepalm* What did OP said David?

**David Thompson:**

"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how they love them while there alive." – Optimus Prime

**Wes Yang:**

Wow, a robot said that.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well, technically the human writers of that movie wrote that.

**David Thompson:**

Way to kill the effect, Anderson.

**Wes Yang:**

Gay bastard.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Hey! What's the point of that quote, David?

**David Thompson:**

You two should listen to that quote. Don't wait till you die before you guys tell the people you love you love them. Life's too short as they say. Besides, if Santana and Kurt doesn't reciprocate, which I highly doubt, then at least you gave it a shot.

**Wes Yang:**

Blaine, are we seriously going to listen to a porn addict?

**Blaine Anderson:**

He does make a valuable point.

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah, he's right. David, you're right.

**David Thompson:**

:) I'm always right. NOW GO TELL YOUR BITCHES THAT YOU LOVE THEM!

**Wes Yang:**

Sir yes sir *salutes*

**Blaine Anderson:**

That is so gay...

**David Thompson: **

I know right

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens <strong>to **Kitalene Bates: **Bye Kit! I had fun tonight. Take care!

**Kitalene Bates: **You too, Thaddeus! :)

**Thad Stevens: **Stop calling me Thaddeus!

**Jordan McClaine: **Who's Kitalene Bates?

**Thad Stevens: **Just a friend.

**Jordan McClaine: **Then, what are you doing with her all night?

**Thad Stevens: **Friends stuff

**Jordan McClaine: **What kind of friend stuff?

**Thad Stevens: **Dude, what's with the interrogation?

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm not interrogating you. I'm just...curious..

**Thad Stevens: **When you're having threesomes with Candy and Caramel, I never ask you any detail. Why ask me with mine?

**Jordan McClaine: **Wait a fucking minute here, Kitalene is like Candy and Caramel? Is she like a stripper? That's a weird name for a stripper...

**Thad Stevens: **Kit is not a stripper. She's a friend of mine, Jords. Stop interrogating me.

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm not interrogating you.

**Thad Stevens: **Yes you are,

**Jordan McClaine: **No I'm not,

**Thad Stevens: **Yes you are,

**Jordan McClaine: **No I'm not,

**Thad Stevens: **Yes you are,

**Jordan McClaine: **No I'm not,

**Thad Stevens: **Yes you are,

**Jordan McClaine: **No I'm not,

**Thad Stevens: **Yes you are,

**Jordan McClaine: **No I'm not,

**Thad Stevens: **Whatever Jordan, I'm leaving.

**Jordan McClaine: **That Kitalene Bates is so on my top 10 list to destroy. Fuck her. :(

* * *

><p><strong>Journalist Brittany: <strong>Attention Gay Hogwarts! Can I ask you a question?

**Wes Yang: **No

**Aaron Houghston: **What is it Britt?

**Journalist Brittany: **Do you guys know who's Dolphin going on a date tomorrow? He said it was a Warbler but it wasn't Dolphin's dolphin.

**Wes Yang: **O_O What?

**David Thompson: **O_O Double what?

**Aaron Houghston: **Tree tree tree what?

**Nick Connors: **Bieber what?

**Jeff Jefferson: **What the chicken hell?

**Jordan McClaine: **What the fuckity fuck fuck what?

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt's going on a date tomorrow?

**Wes Yang: **And it's not you...

**David Thompson: **Oh my Klaine...

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: And it's done...sorry guys it took me such a long time to update. <strong>

**So...let's see what happened. **

**a.) Kurt knows that Wes likes Satan. Kurt hates Blaine but actually just fed up with all the obliviousness and decides to go on a date with Trent to make Blaine jealous. **

**b.) Blaine's jealous again of Darren Criss but also fed up with not telling Kurt of his feelings. Only to be inspired by the porn addict to seize the day, Optimus Prime style. Though he is very surprise to find out that Kurt is going on a date with a Warbler...and a bit jealous.**

**c.) Wes likes Santana but like Blaine, doesn't want to tell her because of his AVPM belief. He too got inspired by the porn addict. **

**d.) Thad meets this girl, Kitalene, days ago. Due to attraction, they both go into a physical relationship with no strings attached. Kit has a boyfriend and Thad's using Kit to make Jordan jealous which is working. **

**e.) Aaron got stuck with his blanket and called for help.**

**f.) Brittany dropped a bomb when she asked the Warblers who's the Warbler Kurt's going to go on a date with. **

**And that's about all what happened. **

**FAVORITE PART:**

The Wes-Blaine conversations

They totally make me crack up. I love writing about this two's problemed lives.

**FAVORITE QUOTE and QUOTER:**

Two actually

**Aaron Houghston: **

O_O Dolphin has lady eggs?

and

**David Thompson: **

Oh my Klaine...

you guys have no idea how many times "Oh my Klaine" came flying out of my mouth when I'm surprised.

**Now before I end this chapter, I would like you to: **

Review and tell me your favorite part and quote/quoter. Also, tell me you aren't going to kill me for updating so late

and

What way do you want Wes to admit his feelings for Santana in the next chapter? 

**To everyone! Thanks all for the lovely reviews and the people who liked the Mr. Bang-Bang page in FB! I love you guys all so much and I'm near to tears for all the people who keep reminding me when is the next update. I feel so loved. SO HAPPY :)**

**Plus, I have 401 reviews. I've finally hit 400! Thanks to all of you. **

**And just for that, I'll give you three good news.**

**News #1: Next update is next week. :) **

**News #2: Spoilers:**

Expect:

a.) Wes telling Santana he loves her.

b.) Blaine bombarding every Warbler to find out who's going with Kurt

c.) Jordan and Kitalene talk

d.) Puckleberry

e.) Asian Fusion and Trouty Mouth

**News #3 Commercial:**

_Ahem. Ahem. Testing! 1, 2, 3. Klaine. Klaine. Klaine. Ah. There we go. Alright folks it's been a long time since our writer here wrote a goddamn thing. She's one lazy bitch, no offense BM22Owenstina but seriously, update this late and I will hit your head with this fake microphone. Now onto Gleek Facebook. Looks like Katy Hobbit got a taste of his own medicine. Poor sucker. Kurtie's sprouting his wings and flying to another guy. But seriously Kurt, Trent? That's the best you can do? I feel so sorry for you. Looks like Jorthad gets a storyline. Finally since I ship them so freaking hard I pee myself with excitement. Fuck Kitalene! I want my Jorthad now! With Sugar, Caramel, and Candy on top! Though that is not a suggestion for a fivesome, I assure you guys. Wow! The Porn Addict actually made a contribution this time. Looks like porn helps people...maybe it could cure cancer than just horny people. Better try that._

_Lastly, I just want to point out. Just once I wanted to touch Megan Fox's boobies and put my face on them and go...BOBOBOBBOBLBOBLOBLBOLOL...Oh how that would be a dream come true._

_Oh well...I'm just a fake announcer to this fanfiction anyway. *insert BM22Owenstina hitting fake announcer with Kurt's disco stick* scratch that, AWESOME fanfiction. Dare say this fanfiction is not awesome and you'll feel the combined wrath of Mr. Bang-Bang and Kurt's disco stick. Don't say I didn't warn you, bitches._

_Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook! Mr. Bang-Bang out!_

* * *

><p><strong>ALL MY LOVE TO KLAINE AND MY FELLOW KLAINEBOWS<strong>


	18. Who's Dating K, Samike, and Chicken

**Author's Note: Hey Gleek Facebook Addicts! I'm back! Told you I'll update soon. I guess it's my way of saying 'thank you' and 'sorry, I'm a bitch for not updating for so so so so very very very long long long long time time time.'  
><strong>

**BTW, this is a mixed chapter. Warblers and New Di are here. ****Also, I forgot to thank my 400th reviewer ****HTi**! **Congrats for being my 400th reviewer hope you review more. Also, I'm hoping I get to thank my 500th reviewer as well because I'm sure as hell not going to end this fanfic soon. What with Klaine, Jorthad, Wentana, and Treck not together...yet... **

**I do feast on your outburst to make Klaine and the other couples together. I love them to bits. Also, I feel like Sue. SO EVIL YET FUNNY!**

**Theme: Maturity with Swears, talks about suicide, talk about sexual body parts and murdering thoughts. *non-graphical though***

**Warning: Rated M for...well you know why I rate it M yet it's rated T. Hehehe...**

**Disclaimer: I'm not RIB which therefore mean I don't own Glee. Because if I were them, I would have bodyguards with me everywhere I go since they made Blaine a junior. What the fucking hell are they fucking thinking? Also, I do not own Facebook because if I do, it would contain hot and naked pictures of Kurt and Blaine. Only. **

**Enough said, let's go to the story! Prepare for a LONG CHAPTER!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen: <strong>

**Who's Dating K, Samike, Jorthalene, and Chicken**

* * *

><p><strong>David Thompson: <strong>Holy motherfucking fatherfucking sisterfucking Darrencrissing cockblocking assshitting shit!

**Wes Yang: **My sentiments exactly

**Thad Stevens, Nick Connors, **and **Jordan McClaine **likes this

**David Thompson: **This has got to be the hugest shit I've ever seen. And I've seen shit numerous times in my life. Just ask Jeff, God! How that man shits!

**Jeff Jefferson: **HEY! My business in the bathroom is nothing of your business!

**David Thompson: **It is when I see it floating around the toilet bowl!

**Wes Yang: **Okay, first of all. Gross. That's the last thing I needed to learn from Jeff. Second of all, Brittany sure knows how to drop a bomb.

**Aaron Houghston: **Britt dropped a bomb? O_O I didn't hear any kaboom? Where's the kaboom?

**Wes Yang: **I'm so surprised and shocked that I can't even facepalm what Aaron said.

**Thad Stevens: **Same here. I can't believe it. Kurt going on a date with someone not Blaine.

**Jordan McClaine: **I feel like I just found out I have STD...

**Thad Stevens: **Why would you be surprise having STD? You're a sex addict, remember? Sex addicts get STD at some point in their lives. None of us would be surprised if you get STD.

**Jordan McClaine: **Shut up, Thad. I thought we weren't talking to each other?

**Thad Stevens: **Did I say I was talking to you?

**Wes Yang: **Would you two Narnians stop talking to each other? We have a more important task to talk about.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Thad and Jordan are from Narnia? I thought Narnia was a fictional place?

**David Thompson: ***Not-that-tired-to-facepalm-facepalm* You mean with what Brittany said?

**Wes Yang: **No, about how all of us are in Narnia...OF COURSE WHAT BRITTANY SAID MORON!

**David Thompson: **You know, I have feelings you know. *insert hurt tone* Besides, you're out of the closet by now.

**Jordan McClaine: **Porn addicts don't have feelings. Except arousal. Arousals are feelings.

**David Thompson: **Fuck you, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: **No time for fucking me, some other time will do. We need to talk about Kurt and Blaine. By the way, where's the idiot hobbit?

**Thad Stevens: **Probably hanging by a chandelier at this point while sad Katy Perry music plays in the background, "Thinking of you" I suppose?

**David Thompson: **Thad, would you stop thinking of suicidal thoughts? It's more depressing than not getting laid.

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm so sorry, dude. Must be tough not having a vagina to warm your cock.

**David Thompson: ***Chocolate facepalm* Oh Jordan, I really find it hard not to punch you in the face with a dildo and I don't even own a dildo.

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't believe you. Even straight men needs it...sometimes...

**David Thompson: ***Chocolate facepalm*

**Wes Yang: **I think he's in his room. He told me earlier he was chatting at his room.

**Jordan McClaine: **Someone should go and check on him. He might get so depress he might not even want to masturbate to Kurt's picture anymore. Now THAT is tragedy! *shivers*

**Thad Stevens: ***Facepalm* since I'm the most responsible here, I'll check. But if I'm not here in 15 minutes, that means I found him dead. *signs out*

**Jordan McClaine: **Thad is such a fucking liar. He went home around fucking midnight the other night. How can you call that fucking responsible? That's fucking irresponsibility.

**Nick Connors: **What's with all the "fuck"?

**David Thompson: **You sound like a jealous wife, Jordan, and you're a dude.

**Jordan McClaine: **Oh fuck you, David.

**David Thompson: **No thanks, I'm saving myself for Tater Tots.

**Wes Yang: **DUDES! We need to talk about Klaine.

**Nick Connors: **Why is it the only topic we all come together to talk about is Klaine? Are we obsessed with them or something? Do we not have lives besides Klaine?

**Jordan McClaine: **Nah, we just want them to get together and stop stuffing our noses with the terrible stench of their gay love for each other. Aren't you tired of the gay love stench?

**Nick Connors: **You know that is completely insulting since I'm gay too.

**Jordan McClaine: **...oops...sorry...

**David Thompson: **^Awkward^ Even though Jordan has a point, we need to talk about them. It's a huge slap in the face to find out that Kurt's going on a date but not with Blaine. We've been rooting for them for MONTHS! LONG AND PAINFUL MONTHS!

**Wes Yang: **Maybe we're jumping into conclusions. You know how Britt is like. Maybe it's a "study date".

**David Thompson: **Then why would Britt be curious who the guy is if it was ONLY a study date. Clearly, it's a date date.

**Jordan McClaine: **Maybe it's a sex date.

**David Thompson: ***Facepalm* you need help, Jordan. Maybe I should call a therapist.

**Jordan McClaine: **:P

**Wes Yang: **Guys! Focus. Kurt on a date with someone else who's not Blaine. What's wrong with that sentence?

**Nick Connors: **Your grammar?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* Very funny, Nick. I'm shoving my Mr. Bang-Bang up your ass if you do that again.

**Nick Connors: **Dude, move on from that stupid gavel already. It's been like four and a half months already since it died. MOVE FREAKING ON!

**David Thompson: **O_O Oh no...why did you say that...now Wes...Wes?

**Wes Yang: **YOU ARE SO DEAD! BIEBER BOY! *runs down the hallways in search of Nick*

**Jordan McClaine: **RUN NICK!

**Nick Connors: **Oh crap! Why does my hand seem to have a mind of its own when I'm on FB? I don't want to go back to my weird grandmother. She's probably weaving me a sweater as we speak. *runs to hide and switches to cell phone FB*

**Jordan McClaine: **What's so wrong about that?

**Nick Connors: **She's weaving out a sweater out of my hair and my pubic hair.

**David Thompson: **Dude, that's just plain old nasty.

**Nick Connors: **I KNOW! That's why hide me before she gets my armpit hair.

**Jordan McClaine: **Dude, you have one messed up grandmother.

**Nick Connors: **You just found out now? Have you been listening to any of my grandmother stories?

**Jordan McClaine: **No. I'm busy sexting as Willy Wonka to listen to you.

**David Thompson: **I know I'm risking my well being here but I need to ask, why Willy Wonka?

**Jordan McClaine: **You do know the names of the strippers I sleep with.

**David Thompson: **Oh...now I get it. Now I regret asking.

**Thad Stevens: **Hey guys! I'm back! I got some news about Blaine. Good news he hasn't thought of committing suicide.

**David Thompson: ***Facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: **Bad news...his listening to Evanescence.

**David Thompson: **O_O NO!

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O Oh my God! The HORROR! This is scarier than the Justin Bieber 3D Movie! O_O

**Nick Connors: **ENOUGH WITH THE BIEBER JOKES! :(

* * *

><p><strong>Mike Chang <strong>to **Noah Puckerman: **Puck, I need your help.

**Noah Puckerman: **You got your Asian cock stuck on something?

**Mike Chang: **Asian No

**Noah Puckerman: **You got your Asian cock hard by looking at something Asianly ugly?

**Mike Chang: **Asian No

**Noah Puckerman: **You got your Asian cock enlarged?

**Mike Chang: **Asian No. Dude, nothing wrong's with my Asian cock!

**Noah Puckerman: **Are you sure?

**Mike Chang: **YES! Now would you stop asking me about my Asian cock and PM me.

**Noah Puckerman: **Well, in case you need cock support, just say the world and I shall be there as fast as you can say boner.

**Mike Chang: ***Asian Facepalm* I regret asking for your help. Maybe I should have come to Finn.

**Noah Puckerman: **You'll actually look for cock support with Finn aka Hello Kitty boxers? Instead of me? The Great Get Some?

**Finn Hudson: **You will never forget that, won't you?

**Noah Puckerman: **No, besides, why you talking to me? I fucking hate you. Thanks to you, my girlfriend and I are on a break and I haven't touched any boobies for days! You ruined me you bastard.

**Finn Hudson: **You're just jealous because your girlfriend wants me more than you do.

**Noah Puckerman: **Okay that is it! *signs out*

**Finn Hudson: **Where you going?

**Mike Chang: **Great. The only guy I can ask help to is gone. This Asianly sucks.

**Finn Hudson: **Hello! I'm still here! What do you need, Asian buddy?

**Mike Chang: **Uh...I'll just ask for Kurt's help...bye Finn.

**Finn Hudson: **You don't want me to help you because of those damn Hello Kitty boxers.

**Mike Chang: **... Asian yes...sorry...

**Finn Hudson: **I never thought a cat like Hello Kitty can give so much pain in a guy.

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow me-iow meo-w? (Don't be sad Finny, Hello Kitty is a bad cat, don't you think?)

**Finn Hudson: **:) Well, at least I have you to cheer me up. Thanks for that wonderful saying.

**Lord Tubbington: **Me-ow! :) (You're welcome, Finny! I love you!)

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>"You cried I wiped away all of your tears. You scream I fight away all of your fears. I held your hand through all of these years..."

**Wes Yang:** Blaine! Katy Perry I can handle hearing for days and weeks since she has incredible knockers but when it comes to Evanescence, I draw a line mister! She's far too depressing, just hearing her name makes me depress and that song is her ultimate depressing song. I think that's a suicide song by now.

**Blaine Anderson: **Maybe Thad is right. Maybe I should commit suicide to lessen the pain. With the use of my hair gel, I can do that. Use them all at once.

**Wes Yang: **Dude! NO! Since when do you listen to Thad? He has a huge mental problem.

**Thad Stevens: **Hey! Says the guy who doesn't have a mental problem with gavels.

**Wes Yang: **Shut up! I'm talking to Blaine. Besides hobbit, what would Kurt think if he sees what you wrote?

**Blaine Anderson: **Show it to his new boyfriend. Laugh at my face. Look disgusted because I have a weird hairdo. Fuck his new boyfriend in front of me. I don't know...

**Wes Yang: **Oh no. He's Evanescencely depress. We need a Katy Perry album! STAT!

**Thad Stevens: **I'll get it.

**Wes Yang: **Anderson, stop this Evanescence depression for one minute and come have a PM chat with me.

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't want to. I want to listen to "My Immortal" a hundred times more.

**Wes Yang: **By the time you reach 100, the Warblers will be singing at your funeral. Come on, Blaine! If you don't PM me, I'll tell Kurt myself of what's happening to you.

**Blaine Anderson: **Fine...let's just get this over with so that I could plan my death...

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang:<strong>

Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm here.

**Wes Yang:**

Good because I'm scared you might consider Thad's suggestion.

**Blaine Anderson:**

How can I live in a world where Kurt's going out with another guy, especially ANOTHER WARBLER!

**Wes Yang:**

Blaine, you are jumping into conclusions again. Britt only asked who's Kurt dating. It doesn't mean there together.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...you may have a point...but still...YOU told me all the Warblers know I like Kurt, right?

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah

**Blaine Anderson:**

Am I the only one who's head over heels in love with Kurt? Or maybe I have some competition in the group? Because if I have competition, they would have to face my balls of fury first to get him.

**Wes Yang:**

First of all, seriously? Balls of fury? You don't even have balls because if you did, this never happened and you and Kurt would be waiting for your Klaine babies by now.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Again, fuck you! :(

**Wes Yang:**

Second of all, Blaine, I assure you, no one likes Kurt the way you do. Besides, the only gay guys in our club are you, Kurt, Jeff, Nick, and Trent. Possible with Thad but I'm sure he's bisexual. The rest are as straight as a stick.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You forgot to add your name and your lover in that list of Gay Warblers.

**Wes Yang:**

It seems to me you're getting better. Also, fuck you. *insert middle finger here*

**Blaine Anderson:**

A little bit. It's just a date. Kurt's not with someone...yet...I intend to make that someone me.

**Wes Yang:**

That's right! Yet! Which means you need to get your dapper ass up from that bed of yours and do something.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...what should I do?

**Wes Yang:**

*Facepalm* Seriously Blaine, what are going to do without me?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Have a party and celebrate no Wesley Yang every day.

**Wes Yang:**

Fuck you

**Blaine Anderson:**

I thought you love Santana. Wait a minute...I forgot to ask you something. I thought you're going to tell Santana you love her?

**Wes Yang:**

Uh...let's focus on your dramatic love life first before mine.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You know you're trying to avoid it, right?

**Wes Yang:**

Hey! I have a plan of what you should do with Kurt!

**Blaine Anderson:**

And I have a plan on how you can tell Satan you freaking love her!

**Wes Yang:**

...let's do yours first.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Nope. We do it together.

**Wes Yang:  
><strong>NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:  
><strong>NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:  
><strong>NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:  
><strong>NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:  
><strong>NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:  
><strong>NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

YES!

**Wes Yang:**

NO!

**Blaine Anderson:**

NO!

**Wes Yang:**

YES!

**Blaine Anderson:**

NO!

**Wes Yang:**

YES!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Haha! You said yes! You have to do what I tell you.

**Wes Yang:**

Damn your gay powers. Damn them!

**Blaine Anderson:**

*smirks* Okay. Here's my plan...

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Hudson: <strong>I fucking hate you Puckerman! Consider FUCK finished! You are a fucking bastard!

**Artie Abrams: **Frankenstein, what happened?

**Finn Hudson: **I'm not in the mood, Artie. I have a black eye to nurse.

**Artie Abrams: **Black eye? Dude, Big Puckerman gave you a black eye.

**Finn Hudson: **He's a fucking bastard that should go to hell.

**Rachel Berry: **Noah gave you a black eye?

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah! I don't know what you see in him, Rach. He's such a bastard.

**Rachel Berry: **What the hell did you do to get a black eye?

**Finn Hudson: **I don't know. He came into my house and just suddenly punched me so hard and left.

**Rachel Berry: **You probably did something to piss him.

**Finn Hudson: **Whatever. He's a bastard.

**Rachel Berry: **Stop calling him a bastard, you prick!

**Finn Hudson: **O_O I don't know what you see in him, Rachel. Maybe you're blind after the million slushies the jocks shot at you.

**Rachel Berry: **Maybe those slushie juice went into your head and made you a prick. You have no right to call Puck a bastard! You bastard. *walks out dramatically*

**Finn Hudson: **O_O

**Artie Abrams: **Dude, you got served by a Jew!

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens <strong>to **Jordan McClaine: **Jords, do you have a spare key to Blaine's drawer? I know you have keys to anything. I need to get Blaine's Katy Perry album to make him less depress and more...of the dapper boy we all love.

**Jordan McClaine: **I thought we weren't talking?

**Thad Stevens: **We're not. I just need a key, that's all.

**Jordan McClaine: **Why should I give you the key?

**Thad Stevens: **Because it's locked and you have the only way to open it.

**Jordan McClaine: **Maybe you should ask Kitalene to open it for you, I'm sure that bitch can open ANYTHING.

**Thad Stevens: **Dude, seriously, what's your problem with Kit? She never did anything bad to you.

**Jordan McClaine: **I just fucking don't like her. That's it.

**Thad Stevens: **There's more than that. I can tell by the smell of your testosterone across the room.

**Jordan McClaine: **Nerd.

**Thad Stevens: **Sex Addict.

**Jordan McClaine: **Here. *throws the keys* Give it back to me immediately or I'll make you pay.

**Thad Stevens: **Fine. By the way, I won't be going back tonight.

**Jordan McClaine: **Wait why?

**Thad Stevens: **I'll be staying at Kit's house tonight. She offered to make me her special dinner. She lives beyond outside Westerville so it's better if I stay there.

**Jordan McClaine: **Dinner? Dude, sex with strippers does not involve dinner unless it's part of the props.

**Thad Stevens: **How many times do I need to tell you that Kit's not a stripper? Besides, we're not having sex. I just like her company. That's all.

**Jordan McClaine: **You're just in it to get into her pants.

**Thad Stevens: **Not all of us are like you, Jords. Men like me likes romance and love and to be loved. You like sex and fuck and to be fucked. That's not my style. See ya. *signs out*

**Jordan McClaine: **Kitalene Bates is such a bitch. She's the only bitch I don't want to spank. I want to kill her. Prepare to be spanked to death, Kitalene Bates.

* * *

><p><strong>Nick Connors: <strong>What about?

**Blaine Anderson: **Just talk.

**Nick Connors: **Are we going to talk about Justin Bieber?

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Nick Connors: **No thanks.

**Blaine Anderson: ***cyber puppy dog eyes* Please?

**Nick Connors: **You know that doesn't work since I don't see you.

**Blaine Anderson: **Imagine me making puppy dog eyes.

**Nick Connors: **Damnit...

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson:<strong>

Nick? You there man?

**Nick Connors:**

I'm here, Blaine. What do you need to talk about?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Have you been lying to me?

**Nick Connors:**

Uh...no

**Blaine Anderson:**

Sure?

**Nick Connors:**

Um...yes

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert scary eyes* Really?

**Nick Connors:**

Really

**Blaine Anderson:**

You swear it on Justin Bieber's sexuality?

**Nick Connors: **

...*groans* fine...you got me...I can't lie when JB's name is in the mix.

**Blaine Anderson:**

So you've been lying to me?

**Nick Connors:**

Yeah

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert disappointed voice* I cannot believe you. I thought you were my friend.

**Nick Connors:**

I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert raised eyebrow* It was an accident to date Kurt?

**Nick Connors:**

What? What the hell are you talking about? Dating Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

You said you were lying to me.

**Nick Connors:**

Holy Justin Bieber shit...I thought you knew.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Tell me what you've been lying about! Are you the one dating Kurt?

**Nick Connors:**

*Facepalm* are you interrogating the Warblers to find out about who's dating Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson:**

None of your bees wax. TELL ME!

**Nick Connors:**

Seriously dude this is pathetic.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Answer the FUCKING QUESTION NICK!

**Nick Connors:**

Fine. I sat on your Katy Perry album while it was with me. That's the reason I haven't returned it yet.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...

**Nick Connors:**

Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson:**

...so...you're not the warbler who's dating Kurt?

**Nick Connors:**

No

**Blaine Anderson:**

You sure?

**Nick Connors:**

Blaine, I'm in love with someone else.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Jeff?

**Nick Connors:**

O_O how'd you know?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Using my common sense.

**Nick Connors:**

I find it hard to believe that you have common sense.

**Blaine Anderson:**

:( I'm ending this conversation.

**Nick Connors: **

BTW, just so you know. I think I know who's dating Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O Who?

**Nick Connors:**

It's either Jordan, Thad, or Aaron.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Nick, two of the three warblers there are straight.

**Nick Connors:**

Yet I saw those three stare at Kurt's ass at some point.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...NOBODY'S ALLOWED TO STARE AT KURT'S ASS! THAT'S MINE! :(

**Nick Connors:**

Um Blaine? Possessive much? And you're not even his boyfriend yet.

**Blaine Anderson:**

YET! He is MINE!

**Nick Connors:**

Weird.

* * *

><p><strong>Mike Chang: <strong>is sad that none of his friends can help him.

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, I'm right here.

**Mike Chang: **...other than Finn...

**Finn Hudson: **You are one mean Asian Mike.

**Sam Evans: **What's going on here? Why no friends left?

**Finn Hudson: **Sam, you really have guts to even post on this wall.

**Sam Evans: **And you have impressive guts to even come outside after the guys found out about the Hello Kitty boxers.

**Finn Hudson: **...

**Artie Abrams: **Dude, you got served by a blonde!

**Sam Evans: ***Facepalm* Now you're haircist? Seriously?

**Artie Abrams: **That's how I roll bitches!

**Mike Chang: **Sam! I need to talk to you!

**Finn Hudson: **Finally! Let him know how much you hate him.

**Mike Chang: **Finn, I don't hate Sam. Sam, PM me.

**Sam Evans: **Sure

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>

Hey Aaron! Mind if we could have a little chat?

**Aaron Houghston:**

O_O there are little chats? So, there's big chats too? COOL!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yeah. Whatever. Anyway, can you be honest with me?

**Aaron Houghston:**

What's honest?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Gay facepalm* Honesty is not lying to someone.

**Aaron Houghston:**

What's lying?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Double gay facepalm* not saying the truth.

**Aaron Houghston:**

What's not saying the truth?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Triple gay facepalm* are you dating Kurt?

**Aaron Houghston:**

What's dating?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh my Perry Aaron! Please just answer the question.

**Aaron Houghston:**

...what's the question?

**Blaine Anderson:**

ARE YOU DATING KURT OR NOT!

**Aaron Houghston:**

Uh...I'm sorry but I really don't know what you are talking about, Dolphin's dolphin.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Face freaking palm* It's impossible for Kurt to date you. He has less patience than I have. Surely, he would have killed you by now. Okay thanks for giving me your time, Aaron.

**Aaron Houghston: **

*confused look* I didn't gave you anything Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **

*Face freaking palm* Goodbye Aaron

**Aaron Houghston:**

O_O Goodbye? Why are you saying goodbye? Are you dead, Dolphin's dolphin? PLEASE DON'T DIE! PLEASE!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Aaron, I'm alive!

**Aaron Houghston:**

...what's alive?

* * *

><p><strong>Mike Chang:<strong>

Sam, I need your help.

**Sam Evans:**

Sure. Is it about your Asian abs or your small Asian cock?

**Mike Chang:**

It's not about either of them.

**Sam Evans:**

Okay...then what do you need help with?

**Mike Chang:**

Actually I need two things.

**Sam Evans:**

Which is what? Man, don't make everything Asianly suspenseful.

**Mike Chang:**

First, I need you to seduce to Tina?

**Sam Evans:**

O_O Seduce who? Tina? Me? Have you gone Asianly mad? Who the fuck are you? The real Mike Chang won't tell me to sleep with his Asian girl.

**Mike Chang:**

Nope. I just need to know if she's attracted to me.

**Sam Evans:**

Everyone's attracted to me, Mike. They can't help themselves. I look like a blonde Justin Bieber.

**Mike Chang:**

Don't flatter yourself. Besides, isn't Justin Bieber gay.

**Sam Evans:**

NO! He is like the greatest singer of the decade! He's songs are amazing! I idolize him.

**Mike Chang:**

Oh my Asian God! You are Bieber fever!

**Sam Evans:**

Possibly. I'm a great fan of his.

**Mike Chang:**

I'm calling a psyche ward. That's the only place that can save you now.

**Sam Evans:**

:( Dude, Justin Bieber is awesome.

**Mike Chang:**

Whatever you say, I'm still calling a psyche ward.

**Sam Evans:**

Anyway, the answer to your question is NO! I'm not seducing a woman of another man. I go to church five times a day because of the sin I committed with Tina. I'm not doing it again.

**Mike Chang:**

No. I'm not telling you to sleep with her. I will kick your blonde ass this time if you do. I'm telling you to go and ask her if she would be willing to be with you since she's not with me anymore.

**Sam Evans:**

Are you insane? No normal guy would do that.

**Mike Chang:**

I know. Then again, I'm not normal.

**Sam Evan:**

I'm not promising to do that but I'll think about it.

**Mike Chang:**

Fine. Next, I need you to teach me how to play the guitar.

**Sam Evan: **

Now that I can do. :) Count me on that. But the other one, I'll think about it with God.

* * *

><p><strong>Kitalene Bates <strong>to **Thad Stevens: **Kelly Marcus is a real bitch.

**Thad Stevens: **What did she do?

**Kitalene Bates: **She didn't show up to our bio class and I end up dissecting our frog by myself. Do you know the trauma of cutting a living, breathing, and MOVING frog? It's VERY traumatizing. I feel like a butcher...poor froggy.

**Thad Stevens: **Sorry Kit. I remember my first time cutting a frog. I fainted the moment my partner opened him up.

**Kitalene Bates: **Haha! Now THAT'S what I call embarrassing. Sorry Thaddeus.

**Thad Stevens: **Stop calling me Thaddeus!

**Kitalene Bates: **:P NEVER!

**Blaine Anderson: **Um...excuse me...Thad?

**Thad Stevens: **What are you doing in my wall, Blaine? I'm having a chat with Kit as you see. Kit, that's Blaine. I told you about him. He's Mr. Hobbit-who's-in-love-with-his-best-friend-but-doesn't-have-the-balls-to-tell-him-yet-he-kissed-him-but-left-him-hanging-now-his-best-friend-is-dating-another-warbler-and-he-is-all-Evanescencely-depress-so-I-suggested-he-would-commit-suicide-to-end-the-pain-but-the-gavel-addict-talked-him-out-of-it-so-now-he's-doing-something-that-would-end-in-disaster-that-could-have-been-surpassed-if-he-just-grew-some-balls-but-apparently-he-has-been-castrated-because-he-doesn't-have-any-balls-at-all-even-girls-have-more-balls-than-he-has.

**Kitalene Bates: **Wow. Uh...yeah...I know him Thaddeus. Just...wow!

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O THAD! WHAT THE HELL MAN? THAT TOO MUCH OF A VAGUE DESCRIPTION OF ME!

**Thad Stevens: **I speak the truth. You mock me sir?

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Here we go again with the "you mock me sir". Seriously, when was the last time you didn't think someone was mocking you?

**Thad Stevens: **...are you mocking me?

**Blaine Anderson: ***epic facepalm*

**Kitalene Bates: **Face it, Blainey boy, Thaddeus will always be mock boy.

**Blaine Anderson: **:) Haha...mock boy...wait a minute...Blainey boy?

**Kitalene Bates: **Gay as you might be, you're still a boy. Maybe you like me to call you Blainey gay?

**Blaine Anderson: **hmmm...a sarcastic girl...I like you already.

**Kitalene Bates: **I thought you were gay?

**Blaine Anderson: **I didn't mean I like LIKE you. Geez...and they call me stupid.

**Thad Stevens: **Because you are

**Blaine Anderson: **WOULD YOU STOP THAT? I just wanted to talk to you about something.

**Thad Stevens: **About homework?

**Blaine Anderson: **My Perry...you are such a NERD

**Thad Stevens: **And you are such a PATHETIC IDIOT!

**Blaine Anderson: **I just need five minutes. Please. For me? *insert puppy dog eyes*

**Thad Stevens: **:( Damn those eyes, they are a menace to this society. Fine. Kit, I'll be back in a few minutes. Stay online okay?

**Kitalene Bates: **Okay Thaddeus

**Thad Stevens: **STOP CALLING ME THAT! EVEN MY OWN MOTHER DOESN'T CALL ME THAT!

**Kitalene Bates: **Am I your mother? As far as I know, I'm a year younger than you are so it's impossible.

**Thad Stevens: **You might have won the battle, Bates, but the war has just begun.

**Blaine Anderson: **Stop flirting with your girl and PM me, Thad!

**Thad Stevens: **At least I can flirt with my girl, you on the other hand...

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay, now you're getting personal!

**Kitalene Bates: **Two men fighting. One of the hottest things in the world... :)

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine <strong>to **Kitalene Bates: **Hello, Kitalene :)

**Kitalene Bates: **Um...hi?

**Jordan McClaine: **Finally you accepted my friend request, I've been waiting for days.

**Kitalene Bates: **I didn't accept any friend request.

**Jordan McClaine: **...oh...then...um...awkward...anyway...it's nice to be able to finally talk to you without anyone knowing.

**Kitalene Bates: **Okay. Are you some kind of sexual predator lurking around Facebook to feast on young insecure girls? Because I'm telling you now I'm not going to fall for any move you make, I'm NOT an idiot you know.

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm not a sexual predator.

**Kitalene Bates: **Well from the sound of it, you are.

**Jordan McClaine: **- If you look into my name, you see my name is Jordan. Hasn't the name Jordan ever spoken by Thad before?

**Kitalene Bates: **O_O wait a minute...your name is Jordan?

**Jordan McClaine: **Based on the birth certificate my mother showed me, yes I am. It came from the Jordan River known in Jerusalem. She said I was conceived there.

**Kitalene Bates: **Are you a girl?

**Jordan McClaine: **Do I sound like a girl?

**Kitalene Bates: **Idiot, we're on Facebook. How the hell can I hear you?

**Jordan McClaine: **...point taken. I'm a boy. Scratch that, I'm a sexually active young hot man.

**Kitalene Bates:** So...Jordan's a boy...if that so..then...Thad..oh my God...

**Jordan McClaine: **Are you having an orgasm or something because...that's kind of hot?

**Kitalene Bates: **Oh my God...you're THAT type of guy...what the hell does Thad...Dude, I'm not having an orgasm! :(

**Jordan McClaine: **Are you sure?

**Kitalene Bates: **Wanna find out?

**Jordan McClaine: **YES!

**Kitalene Bates: **:P Well TOO BAD!

**Jordan McClaine: **Huh...so you're THAT type of girl...not my type.

**Kitalene Bates: **Who said I wanted to be your type?

**Jordan McClaine: **Every girl I had fun and banged with in bed, car, or any place sex can occur.

**Kitalene Bates: **You are a disgusting asshole.

**Jordan McClaine: **And you are a bitchy whore.

**Kitalene Bates: **O_O what makes me a bitchy whore?

**Jordan McClaine: **You being all friendly with Thad while being with someone else. You're a lowsy two timer.

**Kitalene Bates: **O_O You have no business whatsoever with my friendship with Thad because I'm friends with Thad NOT to get into his pants but to talk to someone who UNDERSTANDS me and makes me LAUGH! Besides, look who's talking who's main goal in life is to have sex with anything that wears a skirt. You think you'll be happy with what you're doing. NO! You're going to die all alone someday with STD!

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O *insert mouth so open from shock* ...I... For a girl...you have GUTS! I have no idea what Thad sees in you.

**Kitalene Bates: **And I have no idea why he even acknowledges you as his best friend, you clearly suck at it.

**Jordan McClaine: **FYI, I HAVE NEVER CARED MORE TO A FRIEND MORE THAN I CARED FOR THAD! HE IS THE ONLY REAL FRIEND I EVER HAVE.

**Kitalene Bates: **Then why are you being this rude to his friend?

**Jordan McClaine: **Because his friend is a bitch and a fucking PROSTITUTE!

**Kitalene Bates: **You know what, I'm out of here. I'll tell Thad I need to a project. But let me tell you this, JORDAN, you made a horrible enemy with crossing with me. MARK MY WORDS, you bastard. *signs off*

**Jordan McClaine: **My head is boiling from anger. She is so on top of my "to destroy list", right next to Ryan Reynolds, the sexiest man in the world. That title is MINE! :(

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens:<strong>

Okay hobbit, what is this all about?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'll ask you something completely straight.

**Thad Stevens:**

Pun intended?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I 'AM SERIOUS HERE THAD!

**Thad Stevens:**

Fine. What?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Are you the warbler who's dating Kurt?

**Thad Stevens:**

What? Are you mocking me?

**Blaine Anderson:**

For heaven's sake, just for this PM, WOULD YOU STOP SAYING 'YOU MOCK ME'? Cause I'm definitely not mocking you.

**Thad Stevens:**

Fine...the answer is NO. Why would I date Kurt? I mean, yeah he is attractive and hot, and his hips are erotic to look at, and his lips look so kissable and Britt told me it taste so good and...

**Blaine Anderson:**

HEY! STOP TALKING ABOUT KURT LIKE THAT! HE'S MINE!

**Thad Stevens:**

Dude, you are more possessive than Paris Hilton is with her cocaine.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Facepalm* So, you're not dating Kurt.

**Thad Stevens:**

I'm with Kitalene. NOT Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Okay. I trust you so...you're not the warbler.

**Thad Stevens:**

Are you actually interrogating every warbler to find who's dating him?

**Blaine Anderson:**

...No...

**Thad Stevens:**

Dude, that is so wrong.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Shut. The. Hell. UP! You are one mean mock boy! :(

**Wes Yang: **Okay. I can do this. I can do this. Mr. Bang-Bang's spirit is guiding me. He is above me and will protect me from any harm that possibly can happen to me. He loves me. He WILL make this work. He can and he will. Mr. Bang-Bang, guide me please.

**David Thompson: **Okay, if this is not a declaration of an insane man who seriously needs to seek medical help, then I'm not chocolate anymore. Dude, what the hell is happening to you?

**Wes Yang: **I'm going to tell her.

**David Thompson: **Tell who? You're mother. Oh my God are you coming out?

**Wes Yang: **Idiot! It's Satan. I'm going to follow Optimus Prime's advice and tell her.

**David Thompson: **Dude, I just used in quote. I was the one who advised you. Not OP!

**Wes Yang: **Just the same

**David Thompson: **OP is not chocolate!

**Wes Yang: **You're not a robot either. O_O Or are you?

**David Thompson: ***Chocolate facepalm* Stupid Asian.

**Wes Yang: **Racist man! When did Papa Porn became racist?

**David Thompson: **I wasn't talking about all Asians, only you. BTW, nice, Papa Porn is my new nickname.

**Wes Yang: **That is just plain wrong. More wrong than porn itself.

**David Thompson: **That's where you're wrong since porn is AWESOME! Can I get an Amen?

**Jordan McClaine: **AMEN!

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Jordan? You're a Catholic? I thought you're Jewish.

**Jordan McClaine: **Nah. I'm not Jewish nor Catholic. I follow the ways of the Kama Sutra. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry:<strong>

NOAH PUCKERMAN! What the hell did you gave Finn a black eye?

**Noah Puckerman:**

Don't you get that being on a break means we aren't allowed to talk to each other?

**Rachel Berry:**

I don't fucking care. ANSWER THE QUESTION!

**Noah Puckerman:**

None of business, Berry.

**Rachel Berry:**

It is MY BUSINESS since I want you to beat the living crap out of him.

**Noah Puckerman:**

...what the fuck are you talking about woman?

**Rachel Berry:**

I'm talking about you should have beat the living crap out of that prick.

**Noah Puckerman:**

O_O Finn a prick? Wait, I thought you're still in love with him? That's why you can't answer Brittany's question.

**Rachel Berry:**

I used to be. But, remember that Finn will always be my first love and it's sad that our died so quickly. Though, you know what? It was worth it.

**Noah Puckerman:**

How was it worth it?

**Rachel Berry:**

Then I never would have learned of what love is and I wouldn't have loved you. Now, I love you. I'm certain of it.

**Noah Puckerman:**

:) Oh baby. I missed you so much! I'm losing my manhood here.

**Rachel Berry:**

Well baby let's fix that. Right. Now. *insert flirty look*

**Noah Puckerman:**

Wanna make out?

**Rachel Berry: **

I thought you'll never ask.

* * *

><p><strong>Santana Lopez: <strong>found it very weird when she saw other other Asian in her front yard tonight.

**Wes Yang: **SANTANA!

**Santana Lopez: **What? You were wearing a suit! And a guitar in your hand. What were you planning to do?

**Wes Yang: **Um...I wanted to practice a song with you. With your raspy voice, I think it would fit the song perfectly.

**Santana Lopez: **Thank my smoke sticks for my sexy raspy voice.

**David Thompson: **Oh my Porn! Wes is the new Blaine Anderson. Complete idiot!

**Wes Yang: **Hey!

**Santana Lopez: **What is Papa Porn talking about?

**David Thompson: **loves the name Papa Porn.

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh chocolate baby, you're my Papa Porn.

**David Thompson: **Papa Porn is in the zone! Hallaa!

**Santana Lopez: **Still have no idea what Papa Porn is talking about.

**Wes Yang: **Don't mind him. He's brain is redtube. It doesn't make any sense except it's hot. Don't listen to that man. EVER.

**Santana Lopez: **Then why didn't you came up to my room and Asian banged me? We always do that when we see each other?

**Wes Yang: ***insert looking at the watch* Well...look the Asian time...it's time for my daily cleaning of Mr. Bang-Bang's grave. That grave won't clean itself. Got to go, BYE! *signs off*

**David Thompson: ***Papa Porn facepalm* Wesley is the only person I know who CLEANS a gavel's grave. COME ON! *looks at the heavens* give me something that's normal with Wesley.

**Santana Lopez: **He is amazing in Asian banging :)

**David Thompson: ***Papa Porn Facepalm* Now, I find myself curious on how he Asian bangs people.

**Santana Lopez: **Oh my Winehouse, Papa Porn is coming out! NO!

* * *

><p><strong>Sam Evans <strong>to **Mike Chang: **Fuck you man. Fuck your abs and your fucking small penis. Fuck you Asianly.

**Mike Chang: **Dude, what's with the fucks?

**Sam Evans: **I cannot believe you actually called a mental ward! They came to my house and interviewed me to test my sanity. Come on, man!

**Mike Chang: **You like Justin Bieber, you definitely have a problem. Also, in a ward you have more time to think if you'll do my favors.

**Sam Evans: **Do you know what would happen to my image once word got out of me getting sent to a mental ward because of Justin Bieber?

**Mike Chang: **Dude, people already think you're gay. You're image would pretty much stay intact.

**Sam Evans: **Again, fuck you. Especially your small penis!

**Mike Chang: **WOULD YOU GUYS STOP COMMENTING ABOUT MY PENIS SIZE?

**Sam Evans: **Paybacks a bitch buddy. So is your small penis. :P

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson <strong>to **Jordan McClaine: **Hey Jordan. Got a sec? Or are too busy having a threesome?

**Jordan McClaine: **Nah, I'm just finishing here. Give me a sec to come down from my high. BTW, special thanks to Salt and Pepper! Love you girls!

**Blaine Anderson: ***Gay facepalm* why is it the strippers you sleep with have food names?

**Jordan McClaine: **None of your damn cock's business!

**Blaine Anderson: **What does my cock have to do with it?

**Jordan McClaine: **Nothing I just wanted to talk about your cock

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm seriously doubting your sexuality now

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O I'm as straight as a straw! Blaine! Don't you dare think I'm gay! I'm straight! I like vaginas and pussies! Not cocks and balls!

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert raised eyebrow* ...okay? Can I PM you? I want to ask you something.

**Jordan McClaine: **If it's about my sexuality, I'm seriously going to kick your ass because I 'AM STRAIGHT!

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay! Geez! We're not talking your sex. Just...I'll PM you, okay?

**Jordan McClaine: **Fine. But there better be sexual innuendos in our words.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson:<strong>

Okay. I'll ask you straightforward, okay?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Blaine! I 'am 100% and absolutely STRAIGHT!

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know! I'm just telling you I won't prolong our conversation. I wanted you to know.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Okay. You have my cock's undivided attention.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Are you attracted to Kurt?

**Jordan McClaine:**

How many times do I need to tell you, I 'AM STRAIGHT!

**Blaine Anderson:**

But I saw you once stare at Kurt's ass.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Blaine, even our DEAN stares at Kurt's ass. Kurt's ass has perfect ass ratio, especially his buns. You can't blame people when they find their eyes attracted to them. It's perfectly normal.

**Blaine Anderson:**

So, you admit you're attracted to him? So does that mean you're the warbler who's dating him?

**Jordan McClaine: **

O_O Dude, do I look like the dating type. I do one thing and one thing only, bang women. There are no dates involve just...put my ten-inched cock inside their vaginas and coming inside. That's the only I do. I don't do dating. Besides, Kurt's yours. Why would I take what's yours?

**Blaine Anderson:**

DAMNIT!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Oh my Maria Osawa! What's wrong? Please don't tell me you can't get a boner anymore because that needs SERIOUS medical help! STAT!

**Blaine Anderson:**

*Facepalm* you really don't think of anything else except sex, don't you?

**Jordan McClaine:**

And porn, if I may add.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I can't believe none of you guys are not dating Kurt. Who's the warbler dating Kurt?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I cannot believe you thought I would date Kurt. Hot as Kurt maybe, I can't bang that one.

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert middle finger pointed to the sex addict* I cannot believe he's dating another warbler. A Warbler? Maybe he has better hair than me...

**Jordan McClaine:**

Dude, you seriously need to get laid. Might I suggest skip dating Kurt and simply banging him.

**Blaine Anderson: **

You are the most disgusting man I've ever met.

**Jordan McClaine: **

At least I'm getting laid. :)

* * *

><p><strong>David Thompson:<strong>

Dude, you need to get a check-up.

**Wes Yang:**

If this is another of your interventions for me to go to a mental ward, I'm seriously telling you, shut the fuck up!

**David Thompson:**

Nope. You have another problem. You keep showing the symptoms.

**Wes Yang:**

What are you talking about?

**David Thompson:**

It always starts this way.

**Wes Yang:**

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

**David Thompson:**

One of our friends started it.

**Wes Yang:**

DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

**David Thompson:**

Damn him. He is a MENACE to this society in more ways than one.

**Wes Yang:**

Dude, gay as it might sound, I will shove my little sister's baton up in your ass so far, you won't be able to walk. EVER. NOT EVEN ANOTHER LIFETIME! Plus, that would make sex suck for you. So, I suggest you tell me what you're talking about.

**David Thompson:**

*insert a little scared face* It's either two things. You are either suffering the Blaine Anderson syndrome or you are being what is called a CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **

Okay I find the Blaine Anderson syndrome hilarious but a CHICKEN! YANG'S are not CHICKENS!

**David Thompson:**

Well you're a special Yang. You and Blaine are thesame. Too fucking scared to tell people what you really feel and making you feel so bad, it sucks not telling man! You know that because of Blaine.

**Wes Yang:**

I know. It's just...It's Santana. Santana doesn't fall in love. She only has sex. Sex is Santana. Love isn't Santana. And if I can't have her in love, at least with sex. I can't give up that amazingness in BED!

**David Thompson:**

You seriously are a CHICKEN! Tomorrow, I won't be surprise if you grew feathers and have a beak and go kakakakadooddle doo!

**Wes Yang:**

I'll tell her soon and I'm not a chicken.

**David Thompson:**

That's exactly what Blaine said. Now, look what's happening to him. That what happens when you're a chicken.

**Wes Yang:**

I 'am not a chicken!

**David Thompson:**

Fine, you're a chicken served Mongolian style!

**Wes Yang:**

That is both racist to Asians and Chickens everywhere! RACIST PAPA PORN!

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens:<strong>

Kit, did you get my text?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Yeah

**Thad Stevens:**

Well...you didn't text me back.

**Kitalene Bates:**

you texted me to get online and I did. I didn't texting was needed. Anyway, what's up?

**Thad Stevens:**

What's up? WHAT'S UP? Kit, I told you to stay online while I talked to the idiot hobbit. But when I came back, you weren't online anymore. What's going on?

**Kitalene Bates:**

It's just that. A guy chatted with me and he seemed to be a sexual predator so I signed off immediately.

**Thad Stevens:**

Oh. That bastard. Hope he dies in hell or his cock falls out.

**Kitalene Bates:**

Screw him, Thad. He's not worth getting angry for. Anyway, change topic. Tell me more of this Jordan you speak a lot about.

**Thad Stevens: **

O_O woah. What's with the sudden interest with Jordan?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Nothing, just curiosity kicking in. So tell me about Jordan...

**Thad Stevens:**

Well...she's...caring and not afraid to speak her mind. She talks in a slightly foul way but I think it's adorable. She's...a lot of things. Can we talk about something else Kit?

**Kitalene Bates:**

I don't like her.

**Thad Stevens:**

How can you not like her?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Because your Jordan is sexually active man not the girl you're talking about.

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Kitalene Bates:**

Thaddeus?

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Kitalene Bates:**

Thaddeus, why are you not answering?

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Kitalene Bates:**

THAD!

**Thad Stevens:**

... Jordan's the man who you thought was a sexual predator...wasn't he?

**Kitalene Bates:**

...maybe

**Thad Stevens:**

Oh my God!

**Kitalene Bates: **

Thad, it's okay. I know sexual predators when I hear about them. Don't worry.

**Thad Stevens:**

But now you know Jordan's...

**Kitalene Bates:**

Honestly, it came to me as surprise but hey, I get it. Just one question though, are you gay or something? Not asking you rudely though...

**Thad Stevens:**

I'm actually bisexual. I'm attracted to both women and men. But currently, I'm in love with Jordan, aka your sexual predator.

**Kitalene Bates:**

Hmmm...alright...I get it.

**Thad Stevens:**

Are you going to stop being friends with me because I'm bi?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Are you kidding me? Hell no. I love having you as my friend and as a guy I could kiss with no attachment whatsoever. What you are, doesn't bother me at all.

**Thad Stevens:**

Wow. You're really evolve.

**Kitalene Bates:**

I know, that's why you love me. ;)

**Thad Stevens:**

So, were cool?

**Kitalene Bates:**

I just have one thing to talk about you with.

**Thad Stevens:**

And what's that? Something to do with Jordan?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Yup, but I'm pretty he'll hate this.

**Thad Stevens:**

Okay, what is it about?

**Kitalene Bates:**

I'll tell you soon. Promise.

**Thad Stevens:**

Pinky swear?

**Kitalene Bates:**

:) Pinky swear

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>is officially giving up.

**Wes Yang: **On what? Katy Perry?

**Nick Connors: **Hair gel?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Redvines?

**Jordan McClaine: **Please don't tell me it's sex!

**Thad Stevens: **Life?

**David Thompson: **Masturbation?

**Aaron Houghston: **Girls?

**David Thompson: **He already gave up on that, Aaron, he likes men.

**Aaron Houghston: **...gave up on what?

**David Thompson: ***Papa Porn Facepalm* Why do I ever bother?

**Jordan McClaine: **Because you're Papa Porn.

**Wes Yang: **Seriously, Blaine, what did you have up?

**Blaine Anderson: **Finding out who's dating Kurt. I just...can't believe you guys. The Warblers are like my family. I think of the Warblers as my family more than my own. But how can one of you actually date the man I'm in love with but too stupid enough to be with?

**Thad Stevens: **Oh My God

**Jordan McClaine: **Are you masturbating? O_O

**Aaron Houghston: ***Facepalm*

**David Thompson: **Huh, you actually got one right.

**Thad Stevens: **I know who's dating Kurt!

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O WHO?

**Thad Stevens: **The Warbler who's not here who's gay!

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Kurt's dating Kurt?

**Jeff Jefferson: ***Facepalm*

**Nick Connors: ***Facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***Facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***Facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***Facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine: ***Facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: **Aaron really is special. Too special. Oh Maria... Trent.

**Wes Yang: **I cannot believe Trent is the one dating Kurt. Trent Nicholson.

**Nick Connors: **That is impossible as Selena Gomez not dying because of a Justin Bieber fan.

**Jeff Jefferson: **is going to bury himself into food. Don't bother him. *signs off*

**David Thompson: **Clearly, Trent's a bastard.

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a bastard?

**Blaine Anderson: **How can he do this to me? He is the major reason Kurt and I are not together. I kept my promise yet...how can he do this to me...

**David Thompson: **When you're a bastard, you're a bastard. Trent's a bastard.

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a bastard?

**Wes Yang: **It's official. Trent will NEVER have a SOLO. EVER! I promise this in the name of Mr. Bang-Bang. David? Thad? You with me?

**David Thompson **and **Thad Stevens **likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **I cannot believe that Kurt, my Kurt, would date Trent. What is happening to this world we're living in?

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh! I know the answer! Global Warming! :)

**David Thompson: **Seriously? Clearly, the answer is it's the Apocalypse!

**Wes Yang: **It's Armageddon!

**Blaine Anderson: **Would you guys be serious? What's happening is my world crashing down into a million pieces. Krent. Perry, that name sucks ass. Klaine definitely beats Krent. :( I'm so depress.

**Thad Stevens: **Cue Evanescence music :)

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: And it's done. Another chapter done. Thank Grilled Cheesus. Now, onto the summary!<strong>

**So, here's what happened.**

**a.) Blaine tried to find out who's dating Kurt by asking the Warblers only to find out it's the guy he didn't get to interview is the one dating his Kurt, Trent.**

**b.) Wes tried to tell Santana but apparently got the Anderson syndrome and chickened out. Poor bastard.**

**c.) Mike asked Sam to help him in his plan to get Tina. Though the Asian didn't expect to put Trouty Mouth to a mental ward. Blame JB.**

**d.) Puckleberry is back! It's about freaking time! **

**e.) Jordan kind of ambushed Kitalene and the two hate each other. She found out that Thad's bi. **

**That's all that happened. **

**Poor Blainey. :( Poor Wesley. :( Poor Jordan. :( They love lives are so sad. I feel so bad. Blaine's clearly depress. Wes is scared. Jordan is way uber jealous. How so sad. But in a funny way. Mike's kind of crazy while Sam...oh my Sam... BTW, I did it on purpose for Trent and Kurt not being online in this chapter since they are constantly talked about. **

**MY FAVORITE PARTS:**

**Jordan's comments and Aaron. Simply Aaron. Also, specifically this: **

**Blaine Anderson:**

...NOBODY'S ALLOWED TO STARE AT KURT'S ASS! THAT'S MINE! :(

**Nick Connors:**

Um Blaine? Possessive much? And you're not even his boyfriend yet.

**Blaine Anderson:**

YET! He is MINE!

**Nick Connors:**

Weird.

**~~~~AND THIS~~~~**

**Wes Yang:**

Second of all, Blaine, I assure you, no one likes Kurt the way you do. Besides, the only gay guys in our club are you, Kurt, Jeff, Nick, and Trent. Possible with Thad but I'm sure he's bisexual. The rest are as straight as a stick.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You forgot to add your name and your lover in that list of Gay Warblers.

**MY FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER:**

**Thad Stevens: **

What are you doing in my wall, Blaine? I'm having a chat with Kit as you see. Kit, that's Blaine. I told you about him. He's Mr. Hobbit-who's-in-love-with-his-best-friend-but-doesn't-have-the-balls-to-tell-him-yet-he-kissed-him-but-left-him-hanging-now-his-best-friend-is-dating-another-warbler-and-he-is-all-Evanescencely-depress-so-I-suggested-he-would-commit-suicide-to-end-the-pain-but-the-gavel-addict-talked-him-out-of-it-so-now-he's-doing-something-that-would-end-in-disaster-that-could-have-been-surpassed-if-he-just-grew-some-balls-but-apparently-he-has-been-castrated-because-he-doesn't-have-any-balls-at-all-even-girls-have-more-balls-than-he-has.

**~~~AND~~~**

**David Thompson: **

This has got to be the hugest shit I've ever seen. And I've seen shit numerous times in my life. Just ask Jeff, God! How that man shits!

**I found myself laughing so much after I thought of this quote. **

**Wow. A lot happened in this chapter. WOW! A lot of drama. But anyway, I hoped you liked it. I made it extra funny for you guys.**

**Now before this chapter ends, I would like you to:**

REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART, QUOTE, AND QUOTER

AND

COME UP WITH MEAN NAMES FOR TRENT, KURT, AND KITALENE

anything will do as long as it is a little mean like for Kurt, pear hips, for Kitalene, miss priss, and for Trent, gossip wannabe.

I NEED AT LEAST 15 mean names! 15 is all I ask! PLEASE? *insert Blaine's puppy dog eyes here*

because I plan for the next chapter to be all about the reactions of the Warblers to Krent also Jordan constantly hurting Kit so that she would stop hanging out with Thad. Also, I think next chapter Treck will be talked about. New Directions will be on Chapter 20. THAT"S MY SPOILERS

I don't have a commercial nor do I want to give more spoilers so I'll just leave you all to reread my chapter because it is that supermegafoxyawesomehot! :) Oh m Klaine! This chapter has 12,000 words. A NEW RECORD! :)

BTW! I won't be posting the next chapter next week nor the week after that because I'm going to be uber busy. So...sorry guys...

THANKS ALL TO MY READERS and FOR ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS AND FOR YOUR LOVE! I'LL NEVER FORGET ANY OF YOUR REVIEWS, I PROMISE! LOVE YOU GUYS!

* * *

><p><strong>BTW, I can't stop squealing about the fact Chord is back in GLEE! GO SAM! YEAH! *does a little victory dance* THANK MR. BANG-BANG and GRILLED CHEESUS! <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>ALL MY LOVE TO KLAINE AND MY FELLOW KLAINEBOWS!<strong>


	19. KIEB, MONSTROSITY, and Thadsexual

**Author's Note: Bon jour me petites! Did you miss me? No. Well...this is awkward...oh well...**

**Sorry for not posting early. Busy. Busy. Busy. But this week is our sembreak so...I got to right not one, not two, BUT THREE chapters of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook! Expect this fanfic updated every week! :) **

***cue yehey from the background***

**...so now that's time you guys cheer...**

**I don't who the hell I'm talking too so I'll just go ahead with my story. **

**Warning: RATED M for swearing and mentions of sexual parts**

**Theme: FUNNY and SEXY**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee because if I do, Sebastian Smyth would have been erased from the face of the Earth before he even makes his debut in Glee. Damn RIB. Damn them to the next millenium. I do not own Facebook because if I do..well...it would just be like Tumblr. And you know what I mean but what happens in Tumblr.**

**What happens in Tumblr stays in Tumblr. :) **

**Also credits to SIMGM, I used some of her quotes in this chapter. If you don't know her, then find out about her since she makes the most amazing Glee spoofs to ever be uploaded in YOUTUBE and I'm addicted to her videos. Go and type SIMGM in YOUTUBE and you'll find her immediately. I promise you guys you won't regret it.**

**Also, thanks for everyone who reviewed in the last chapter. I love that none of you can say anything bad to Kurt but I found it funny with your names with Trent and Kit. I love you all. **

**Now sit back and relax and let this fanfic make your day...**

**BTW, to all the Klaine Facebook Addicts out there, this is our chapter! (I took this from Kurt's speech in Silly Love Songs.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen:<strong>

**K. I. E. B., MONSTROSITY, and Thad-sexual**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>and **Trent Nicholson **are **in a relationship **

**Kurt Hummel: **Hi sweetheart! :)

**Trent Nicholson: **Hello my Kurtsie Wurtsie

**Kurt Hummel: **I see our date tonight is in full motion sweetie pie ;)

**Trent Nicholson: **You betcha pudding cake ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **I love the restaurant you chose, muffin pie. Though, my muffin pie, I think it's a bit expensive and I don't want my Chubby Wubby to pay for something that much.

**Trent Nicholson: **No worries my little petite, you are priceless and nothing, not even this HUGELY expensive dinner date can ever come near what you are worth.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh baby, you are too sweet. As sweet as a new born baby.

**Trent Nicholson: **Not as sweet as you are honey pie. You're sweeter than sugar and honey put together.

**Kurt Hummel:** This is the reason I'm dating you, love muffin.

**Trent Nicholson: **I thought it was because of my love handles, twinkle dove?

**Kurt Hummel: **Of course your love handles, how could I forget them? But it's also because you're too sweet for me. I'm way out of your league.

**Trent Nicholson: **No. I'm way out of your league. With those hips and lips you have? Who would have thought you'll go for a guy like me. I thought you liked someone else.

**Kurt Hummel: **It has always been you, my redvines ;)

**Trent Nicholson: **Oh baby...where have you been all my life?

**Kurt Hummel: **At McKinley getting harassed by the King of Narnia

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O ... *facepalm* Way to kill a moment sugar pie.

**Kurt Hummel: **You still love me, my redvines.

**Trent Nicholson: **Of course, my redvines. I love you.

**Wes Yang: **THAT IS ENOUGH! PLEASE! I'M LITERALLY KNEELING ON MY BED RIGHT NOW WHILE I'M TYPING THIS AND BEGGING! FUCKING BEGGING FOR YOU TWO TO END THIS MONSTROSITY! I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW MY EYES STARTED TO BURN WHILE I READ YOUR NICKNAMES WITH EACH OTHER. THAT IS JUST SICK! SICKER THAN ALL THE DISEASES COMBINE! EVEN MR. BANG-BANG IS PUCKING HIS GUTS OUT! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL HUMANITY, WARBLERS, GLEE...WHATEVER THAT IS, AND MR. BANG-BANG, STOP THIS FUCKING MONSTROSITY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

**David Thompson: ***laughing* I always did love it when Wes loses his cool. It's always fun to watch. More fun to watch than porn and that is saying something.

**Aaron Houghston: **Mr. Bang-Bang pukes? I thought he was dead?

**Thad Stevens: **He is Aaron. Wes is just being the gay he is and being over-dramatic. Though I couldn't blame him since KRENT is MONSTROSITY, as the gay man says.

**Jordan McClaine: **Thad's right. I was in the midst of my daily masturbation when I saw Kurt and Trent online and then...I saw that MONSTROSITY as Wes calls it and my cock lost its boner. Now, I know what to think of when I'm hard. Krent. Thanks a lot you guys. PUN INTENDED!

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT? KRENT?

**Nick Connors: **I should have known. Trent said he was in love with someone in the Warblers. I guess that's Kurt. Damn, Trent, how could you do this to Blaine?

**David Thompson: **Speaking of Blaine, where the hell is that son-of-a-gay-bitch hobbit?

**Thad Stevens: **Probably killing himself with an edge of his Katy Perry album.

**Jordan McClaine: **Bet 50 bucks he's killing himself with suffocation using his Katy Perry posters.

**Thad Stevens: **You are so on!

**Kurt Hummel: **Guys, what are you talking about Blaine killing himself? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?

**Wes Yang: **Maybe we should ask you, Kurt. Since when are you and that...MONSTROSITY...there I say it...

**David Thompson: **You can do it, Wesley! I believe in you!

**Thad Stevens: **Sadly, so do I!

**Jordan McClaine: **You have balls to say it.

**Nick Connors: **I believe in you!

**Aaron Houghston: **Go Wesley! Go Wesley! Go Wesley! Go Wesley! Go Wesley!

**Wes Yang: **...dating?

**David Thompson: **^Forbidden word except for "dating Blaine"^

**Jordan McClaine, Thad Stevens, **and **32,542 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **What's so wrong with me and Love Handles dating?

**Trent Nicholson: **Yeah! What's so wrong with me and sugary fruit pie?

**Wes Yang: **ENOUGH WITH THE NICKNAMES! It's so wrong, I would rather talk about JB being a baby daddy.

**Nick Connors: **If this is another way to insult me Wes, I most certainly don't like it one bit. That bitch is messing with the wrong pop sensation and fan base. They should do that to Rebecca Black. She never did anything in this society.

**David Thompson: **But Rebecca Black can't get a girl pregnant. That is anatomically impossible.

**Nick Connors: **Fuck you, Papa Porn.

**David Thompson: **Later, there is more pressing matter at hand. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TWO ARE DATING!

**Trent Nicholson: **Well...believe it Papa Porn, Krent is official. :)

**Kurt Hummel: **Deal with it ;)

**Wes Yang: **I think I'm having a heart attack...help me...

**David Thompson: **My cock stopped working. OMPAPAPORN!

**Jordan McClaine: **!

**Thad Stevens: **^My sentiments exactly^

**Jeff Jefferson: **feels so depress that Krent is official, he doesn't like Chicken Wings anymore. :(

**Nick Connors: **would rather have his grandmother bathe him in cooking oil and stuff his mouth with peanuts, which he is allergic to, rather than Krent be official.

**Aaron Houghston: **No more Klaine?

**David Thompson: **No more...

**Aaron Houghston: **is sad. :(

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel:<strong>

Trent! Our plan is working! :)

**Trent Nicholson:**

I can't believe they fell for that act. They are so GULLIBLE!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thanks to our briliant acting, they think we're dating.

**Trent Nicholson:**

You are absolutely right!

**Kurt Hummel:**

...I wonder what's Blaine's reaction...

* * *

><p><strong>(Author's Note: I added a little story here. Hope you don't mind. It's just as funny as the Facebook style. I PROMISE ON THE DEAD GAVEL OF WES YANG! :)<strong>

Today was the day Blaine dreaded the most. Yesterday, he found out that HIS Kurt was dating someone. But not just someone. A Warbler. Not just a Warbler, but a Gay Warbler. And not just a GAY WARBLER, Trent Nicholson, the gay Warbler who made a deal with. Who made his life miserable. Who made him run out of the restaurant after kissing HIS Kurt.

_Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. Fucking bastard. Fucking BASTARD! _Blaine thought.

He didn't slept at all last night. He can't fall asleep knowing the fact HIS KURT is with that fucking Chubby McWarblerson. He is way HOTTER than Trent and Kurt picks who to date? FUCKING TRENT! When he finally fell into a restless sleep, he woke up an hour or two later due to a banging noise.

Banging noise coming from the room next door.

Kurt and David's room. _Shit. NO! _

Blaine dreamed of many times on what he'll wake up to. Most of those dreams involves HIS Kurt sleeping next to him like the angel he is and those dreams make him happy everytime. Though, he never thought of waking up to HIS Kurt banging someone, specifically Chubby McWarblerson, in the other room.

He put his hands on his ears and started to sing loudly "lalalalalalalala..." like the way HIS Kurt would do to avoid talking about something.

_Please be David masturbating. Please be David masturbating. PLEASE BE DAVID MASTURBATING TO WES'S PICTURE! _He kept thinking to himself, a reason about the banging.

He tried to do something to forget the banging noise. He slowly slid off his bed, only realized then that his roommate, the Asian twin in the gay-for-each-other-twins, gone. _He's probably visiting his beloved gavel again. Probably planting flowers around its grave. Damn, he still does that? It's been FIVE MONTHS ALREADY! _He thought.

He walked across the room and sat at his desk chair. Grabbing his laptop from the side of the desk table, he flipped in open and laid it on the table. He waited impatiently for the device to turn on and connect to the net and he immediately onlined on Facebook.

And then he saw it. He saw it blazing right in front of him.

**Kurt Hummel **and **Trent Nicholson **are in a relationship

The word were taunting him. Teasing him. Mocking him like fifth graders showing off their asses at you and saying "you smell like shit" Those letters were the fifth graders and that made Blaine involuntarily shudder.

He covered his handsome face with his hands and started to shook it, not believing what he read. _I must be going blind. I must have misread this. Maybe I should see a doctor..._

He then parted his fingers a little and peeked at the words again with his left eye. The words are still there. He read them correctly.

_My Kurt...Trent...My Kurt and Trent..._

He let out the loudest "no" you'll ever heard.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson:<strong>

He's probably in his woe-is-me phase again.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Good :) He deserves that for what he done to me.

* * *

><p>Earlier in David and Kurt's room, Wes and David were doing their usual routine.<p>

Watching porn before breakfast. "Can't start the day without porn" Their motto.

But then David got bored waiting for the video to load so he went online on Facebook and then he went to Facebook and saw...

"!" Papa Porn shouted, pushing his chair a little, making him fall on the floor.

"Dude? What's wrong?" Wes asked from the bed, reading an FHM magazine. "You looked like you just found out porn is banned from the net."

"Kurt and Trent are boyfriends." David said simply, lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling with a blank look. He felt like his mind has stopped working.

"WHAT!" Wes shouted, jumping from the bed and run towards the David's laptop and read what David just read, earning the same reaction David had.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"I cannot believe this." David said, standing up and walking towards the wall. He started to bang his head on the wall. "My mind must have gone insane." He reasoned, banging his head. "This." BANG! "Does." BANG! "Not." BANG! "COMPUTE!" BANG!

"Let me join you." Wes said, going next to David and banged his head with him in perfect synchronization.

And that's the banging Blaine heard from the other side.

"We need do something about this, Wes." David told him, continuing the banging.

"I already have an idea. Don't stop banging, David." Wes promised.

"I won't stop banging if you don't stop banging."

"I won't stop banging, David."

"Don't stop, Wes."

"Bang harder!"

"Yes! Absolutely right!"

"BANG HARDER!

"HARDER YES!"

"BANG FOR KLAINE!"

"YES!"

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>ATTENTION ALL WARBLERS! All of you listen up! This is a proclamation from yours truly!

**Aaron Houghston: **Yes King Wesley? O_O

**David Thompson: **Oh my Porn, who made you king of the Warblers?

**Jeff Jefferson: **I'm guessing his answer is something pertaining to a deceased gavel.

**Wes Yang: **Mr. Bang-Bang. Stop calling my gavel DECEASED!

**Jeff Jefferson: **See, told you so. Damn, I should have bet on that.

**Nick Connors: **What is this all about Wes? I'm watching the biography channel! :(

**Thad Stevens: **O_O You watch the biography channel? Since when?

**Nick Connors: **Since they made a biography of my husband.

**Thad Stevens: **Let me guess, Gay Bieber?

**Nick Connors: **You are correct. And HE IS NOT GAY!

**Jordan McClaine: **Yeah, I'll believe when cocks fly.

**Nick Connors: **Don't you mean pigs?

**Jordan McClaine: **No cocks.

**Wes Yang: **WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP PREDICTING AND LISTEN TO ME? I've have reached an amazing conclusion.

**David Thompson: **I speak for everyone when I say, we're listening...

**Nick Connors, Jeff Jefferson, **and **16 **others likes this

**Jeff Jefferson: **And what conclusion exactly are you talking about?

**Thad Stevens: **That we were idiots to have ever voted a man as insane as him to be our president?

**Wes Yang: **You are just jealous of me, Thaddeus. You run for president and you became vice. Haha...

**Thad Stevens: **Well...at least I didn't make a gavel as my campaign manager. :P

**Wes Yang: **YOU TAKE THAT BACK, STEVENS!

**Thad Stevens:**MAKE ME YANG!

**David Thompson: **Would you two stop bickering and let Wesley give us headaches!

**Wes Yang: **Thank you, David...hey! WAIT A MINUTE!

**David Thompson: **Just get on with it! I'm late for an appointment!

**Jordan McClaine: **You're daily masturbation with Maria Osawa's naked body in the bathroom?

**David Thompson: **...I TOLD YOU THAT WAS A SECRET! :(

**Jordan McClaine: **Not anymore! SUCK IT! :)

**Wes Yang: **Alright guys! ENOUGH! I 'am proclaiming right now, first time in Warbler History...

**Nick Connors: **We have a history? Who would list down the insanity that makes up the Warblers? Who would even dare study about us?

**Wes Yang: **STOP! Interrupting me or so help me Bang-Bang I'll shove JB up your ass.

**Nick Connors: **That is more of a gift than a punishment to me, Wes.

**Wes Yang: ***ignoring Nick* I proclaim **Trent Nicholson **the title, MOST SHAMEFUL WARBLER TO EVER BE IN THE WARBLERS! Who is with me?

**David Thompson: **PORN YEAH!

**Thad Stevens: **THIS IS NOT MOCKING ME! TOTALLY 100% IN! :)

**Jordan McClaine: **Let me call my strippers and will have an ORGY PARTY in celebration! Yum...orgy party...

**Nick Connors: **Ew...Jordan...mental images...

**Jordan McClaine: **What? You know you want too. Unless you want to have an orgy party with your grandmother.

**Nick Connors: ***insert the most shocked face you can imagine* THAT IS SO WRONG! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU PUT THAT IN MY MIND! INCENSE!

**Jordan McClaine: **My pleasure... :)

**Nick Connors: **You are beyond shameful. You should be the one coronated as the Most Shameful Warbler in Warbler History.

**Aaron Houghston: **What does shameful mean? But since everyone is celebrating, I'm celebrating too. YEHEY! :)

**Nick Connors: **Shameful means doing something unnecessary, like Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: **You do something unnecessary too, Nick.

**Nick Connors: **What?

**Jordan McClaine: **Jizz in your pants while listening to Gay Bieber's songs, specifically Mistletoe. God, that song sucked...gave me sex dreams of Santa Claus, who's with me?

**Nick Connors: **No one,

**Jordan McClaine: **COME ON GUYS! You're going to hell for lying! And in hell, sex is not allowed.

**Wes Yang, Thad Stevens, **and **243 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **See? Sleeping with Santa Claus is a nightmare. Promise you this.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Wes, I think is the stupidest thing you've ever thought of.

**David Thompson: **Wasn't Mr. Bang-Bang stupid?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Well...

**Nick Connors: **His hair style?

**Jeff Jefferson: **That's true; he looks like a Jap prostitute...

**Thad Stevens: **Don't forget our rendition of "Friday". I have no idea why the hell he even suggested that to us.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Ew, don't get me started on that...

**Jordan McClaine: **No, stupidest thing Wes thought of is him thinking he is the sexiest Warbler in the Warblers. Agree with me?

**David Thompson **and **34,235 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **Clearly, I'm the sexiest.

**Wes Yang: **LIAR!

**Thad Stevens, Nick Connors, **and **724,324 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **And so are the things I thought. My thoughts are supermegafoxyawesomehot! DAMNIT KURT! :( *curses*

**Jordan McClaine: **Fuck you, Thad, to the next oblivion.

**Thad Stevens: **Bastard please, I'm practically beneath you and you so want to fuck me in your bed till I came screaming your name in the top of my lungs.

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O

**Nick Connors: **O_O Dude, that was too much of a description.

**David Thompson **likes this

**David Thompson: **Still, that was hot.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh my God Papa Porn is turning straight.

**David Thompson: **I 'am straight.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oopsy daisy, turning gay I mean... :(

**David Thompson: ***Papa Porn facepalm*

**Jeff Jefferson: **I cannot believe all of you agree with Wes's stupid proclamation.

**Wes Yang: **My proclamation is NOT STUPID!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Then you're STUPID!

**Wes Yang: **I'm not stupid either! YOU'RE STUPID!

**Jeff Jefferson: **YOU'RE STUPID, ASIAN!

**Wes Yang: **YOU'RE STUPID!

**Jeff Jefferson: **YOU'RE STUPID, ASIAN!

**Wes Yang: **YOU'RE STUPID!

**Jeff Jefferson: **YOU'RE STUPID, ASIAN!

**Wes Yang: **YOU'RE STUPID!

**Jeff Jefferson: **YOU'RE STUPID, ASIAN!

**Wes Yang: **YOU'RE STUPID!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Let's settle this. YOUR MR. BANG-BANG IS STUPID!

**Thad Stevens: **O_O Uh oh...

**David Thompson: **O_O Oh you've done it now, Jeff.

**Wes Yang: **YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR JEFFERSON! AS FAR AS MCCLAINE IS IN THE CLOSET!

**Jordan McClaine: **What the fuck you Satanic fucker?

**Wes Yang: **You are just like this because YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH TRENT! WELL NEWS FLASH! HE'S DATING KURT HUMMEL! NOT the fuck YOU! DEAL WITH THAT, FUCKER!

**David Thompson: **Dude...that was harsh.

**Thad Stevens: **^agree with this^

**Jeff Jefferson: **...I don't deny what you told me. I do love Trent but if he likes Kurt..well...I guess I have to support him.

**Nick Connors: **TRENT IS THE GUY YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH!

**David Thompson: **Great Wes, now you started another sexual tensioned couple, only this time a love triangle. I'm signing off now. Don't need the extra Warbler tension...see ya.. *signs off*

**Jordan McClaine: **He's just off masturbating. He'll be back in ten minutes.

**Thad Stevens: **Papa Porn is right. Klaine is enough of sexual tension in the Warblers. You suck, Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **And so do you, oh wait! YOU DO SUCK! Pun fucking intended. I'm out of here. *signs off*

**Thad Stevens: **Whatever, I'll be with Kit if anyone wants to find me. *signs off*

**Jordan McClaine: **He's with Little Miss Fuckbitch again...fucking a woman who's owned by another man. Skinny red-headed white slut.

**Nick Connors: **Dude, I'm sick and tired of listening to you constantly say bad things about Thad's Kit that just makes us think you are WAY deep in the Narnia and YOU of all people know when we are talking about fucking NARNIA! DUDE, we GET IT. You hate that fuckbitch Kit because she has YOUR THAD and you are ASHAMED to admit that you have feelings for Thad so want my advice? SIGN OFF AND FIND ONE OF YOUR STRIPPERS TO HUMP WITH! Because THAT'S ALWAYS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE IN DENIAL!

**Jordan McClaine: **...I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR THADDEUS FUCKING STEVENS!

**Nick Connors: **Whatever, just sign off for awhile. I need to talk to Jeff.

**Jordan McClaine: **Whatever. BTW, I 'am so getting revenge for what you said. I promise this. *signs off*

**Nick Connors: **There. Jeff. The Warblers are all gone. We need to talk.

**Aaron Houghston: **What about me?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Leave

**Aaron Houghston: **Leave my room?

**Nick Connors: **No. Leave this wall!

**Aaron Houghston: **What wall?

**Jeff Jefferson: **This Facebook wall

**Aaron Houghston: **Why?

**Nick Connors: **Because I'm going to tell Jeff of my feelings, how I'm head over heels in love with him and how I hate him for falling for Trent instead of me. I will tell him that I'm the better man for him and Trent will never love him the way I love him.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I don't know if I should facepalm or die of embarrassment.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O WOW...Stupid as I maybe I can summarized everything you said in six words.

**Nick Connors: **And that will be?

**Aaron Houghston: **YOU THREE ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP! ...bye :) *signs off*

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O I didn't knew Aaron had it in him...

**Nick Connors: **Neither did I...

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine:<strong>

Kurt? Are you there? Can I talk to you please? Promise it won't be sexual.

**Kurt Hummel:**

The day you don't say something sexual, is the day the world lost all its women.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You have a point.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What's up? Please don't tell me you'll give me a talk on how insane I 'am to be with Trent instead of Blaine.

**Jordan McClaine:**

As much as I want you and Blaine to be together so that you could give me your sex tape as my birthday present, no, that's not what I want to talk about.

**Kurt Hummel:**

... Okay, I'll pretend you never wrote that.

**Jordan McClaine: **

A Klaine sex tape will make millions.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Okay I'm going to go offline now if you don't stop talking about a Klaine sex tape.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You know you want to *insert suggestive eyebrow wiggle*

**Kurt Hummel:**

What do you want to talk about Jordan?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I really hate Miss Fuckbitch.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Who?

**Jordan McClaine:**

The red-headed slut

**Kurt Hummel:**

Who?

**Jordan McClaine:**

The white prostitute of Havanna Heights.

**Kurt Hummel:**

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Little miss cheater with the disgusting pussy.

**Kurt Hummel:**

JORDAN MCCLAINE!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Kitalene Bates!

**Kurt Hummel:**

...? You mean, Thad's friend?

**Jordan McClaine:**

More like Thad's fuckbitch

**Kurt Hummel:**

No. Kit is a really nice girl.

**Jordan McClaine:**

YOU MET HER!

**Kurt Hummel: **

Yeah. They were at the mall the one time...

**Jordan McClaine:**

They go to the mall together? What a gold digger...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I hate little miss fuck bitch.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...oh now I understand this. You're jealous.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Hell to the no!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't lie to me Jordan. You're a pretty bad liar.

**Jordan McClaine:**

How can I get jealous of Thad getting some with little miss fuckbitch even though I get triple the some he gets every fucking night?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not saying you're jealous of Thad's sex life. You're jealous of Kit!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Are you making me laugh? Because what you're telling is making me laugh out loud.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...you're really in love with him? Aren't you?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Kurt, this is not funny.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You love Thad?

**Jordan McClaine:**

YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!

**Kurt Hummel:**

No. I'm definitely making sense. You are jealous that Thad has Kit. Back then, he only has you but you started to sleep with even more strippers that pushed him to Kit. Now, you're jealous.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Everything you just said is wrong.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Look. I understand what's going on with you. You love having sex with women. And thoughts of sleeping with men is making you sick and question yourself. But I think you're just like Thad. You still like girls but you like boys too.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I don't like boys.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Really?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I do find myself staring at your ass at times but every guy at Dalton stares at it. Even our dean stares at it!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I know you guys stare. I love being stared at.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You seem flattered. Anyway, I don't like boys.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Then I only have one conclusion.

**Jordan McClaine:**

What? I'm not gay. And I'm definitely NOT Bisexual.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're Thad-sexual.

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson:<strong>

Blaine? You there?

**Blaine Anderson:**

"Ignorance is kind, there is no comfort from the truth, pain is the one you find!"

**Trent Nicholson:**

What the hell? O_O

**Blaine Anderson:**

"I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet got no rhythm, though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool."

**Trent Nicholson:**

B! Stop quoting Careless Whisperer! Man! That's a PORN SONG! JMC or D should be singing that.

**Blaine Anderson: **

It IS SO NOT A PORN SONG! It's a giving up song. AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PMING ME? YOU HAVE BALLS MAN TO EVEN TALK TO ME! KURT STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson:**

B, I'm not-

**Blaine Anderson:**

KURT STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson:**

I did not-

**Blaine Anderson:**

KURT-IN-A-UNITARD-DANCING-TO-SINGLE-LADIES-STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson:**

I'm not-

**Blaine Anderson:**

HUMMEL STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson: **

B stop acting like a-

**Blaine Anderson:**

SOULMATE STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson:**

B! Cut it-

**Blaine Anderson:**

SOULMATE STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson:**

B! This is not-

**Blaine Anderson:**

JOEYRITCHERFUCKING KURT HUMMEL STEALER!

**Trent Nicholson:**

I DON'T WANT TO DATE K!

**Blaine Anderson:**

FUCKI- wait what?

**Trent Nicholson:**

I was going to tell you something before we go on our date tonight.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Are you going to gloat? Because you are a serious bastard if you do. You liked Kurt all along! That's why you were so okay with that deal! YOU FREAKING USED ME!

**Trent Nicholson:**

B! I'm in love with N! Always have been, always will be!

**Blaine Anderson:**

THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DATING MY KURT AND CALLING HIM WITH THOSE RIDICULOUS NICKNAMES!

**Trent Nicholson:**

Because it's a part of his plan.

**Blaine Anderson:**

WHAT PLAN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WORLD DOMINATION USING GAGA'S MUSIC?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Idiot. To make you jealous and finally FINALLY tell him you love him.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I don't believe you. Why would you even let Kurt order you?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Because I messed up Klaine big time. All the Warblers hate me...except JJ...and that's because he loves me. B, they crowned me as the MOST SHAMEFUL WARBLER IN WARBLER HISTORY. Do you what that is? Even though I think W is just exaggerating...I...I hate being titled with that. Who would want to be the MOST SHAMEFUL of anything? I'm doing this so maybe I could fix what I broke.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...tell me Kurt's plan.

**Trent Nicholson:**

*sigh* We change our statuses and pretend to be dating until tonight in that five star restaurant. K was sure that you'll get jealous and go to the restaurant and tell there that you love him and that you were an idiot and there you'll get together...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Wow...Kurt really knows me. That was exactly what I was planning to do.

**Trent Nicholson:**

That's sweet...

**Blaine Anderson: **

Still, I don't know why you are telling me this.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Because, selfish as it sounds, I just want you guys to get together now. Also, I don't want to lose my allowance to a five star restaurant.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You know what, Trent? As much as you fucked up my life so many times because of that deal, especially now...you're still a good friend. You still want to fix things even though it's your fault.

**Trent Nicholson:**

I guess I just want one thing to be right.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well I appreciate it.

**Trent Nicholson:**

So, you love K, and K loves you. Promise you'll do something. Okay? Cause, he is going to kill me for telling you about his plan.

**Blaine Anderson:**

He'll forget that the moment we get together.

**Trent Nicholson: **

B?

**Blaine Anderson:**

What?

**Trent Nicholson:**

If you don't tell K you love him after this conversation, I won't hesitate to track Katy Perry down, kidnap her, and cut her off to bits and pieces and send each piece to you when you least expect it.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Don't worry Trent. I'm not a coward anymore. I know what to do.

**Trent Nicholson:**

Good

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh Trent?

**Trent Nicholson:**

Yeah?

**Blaine Anderson:**

BTW, io tagliero il cazzo quando ancora c'era un dito sul mio cazzo Regina Perry! E io lo alimentano all rubinetto di mangia-squali! Mi senti?

(BTW, I will cut your cock the moment when you even lay a fucking finger on my Queen Perry. And I will feed it to cock-eating sharks! You hear me?)

**Trent Nicholson:**

Uh...what's that suppose to mean?

**Blaine Anderson:**

...thanks for telling me about Kurt. :) *insert looking very innocent*

**Trent Nicholson:**

Oh you're welcome! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **Kurt, please talk to me. Please. I haven't heard from you since our fight and...I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your smell. I miss your touch. I miss your eyes...GOD how I miss the way you hold me. I even miss your constant banter that Lady Gaga is better than Katy Perry. I believe you now! Heck, I'd stop loving Katy and start loving Gaga just for you if you only just talk to me. Please Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **Fine. What is it, Blaine? I'm getting ready for my date with Love Handles.

**Blaine Anderson: ***smiling* Thank Grilled Cheesus you finally answered. And also, ew...LOVE HANDLES? SERIOUSLY?

**Kurt Hummel: **^Screw Finn for that^ What do you want?

**Blaine Anderson: **Only a two minutes. Can we just talk for two minutes? And then you can go and fuck Trent for all I care.

**Kurt Hummel: **Fine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay. I'll PM you.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson:<strong>

Kurt, you there.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Anderson, make it quick.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You know, you never call me Anderson unless you're teasing me or you're angry at me. Which is it, this time?

**Kurt Hummel:**

What do you think?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Teasing me :)

**Kurt Hummel: **

Not funny, Blaine. Come on, I'm in a hurry. Talk to me.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Fine, I'll just go on and say it.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Go on.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine! Tell me what you want to tell me!

**Blaine Anderson:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine! I still haven't fixed my hair! And you know what I 'am with my hair. It needs to be perfect or so help me Grilled Cheesus...DAMN YOU FINN...all hell would break loose all around Ohio.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

If you don't start typing, I will call Coach Sue and ask her to bring her razor and cut that hair of yours that is a crime against nature to be gelled and be like that. Coach Sue won't hesitate even for a second and would even feel aroused at what I'm asking for.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not kidding with Coach Sue, Blaine! For the sake of Katy Perry and her gigantic knockers, talk to me!

**Blaine Anderson:**

...

**Kurt Hummel:**

If you don't start typing for the next 30 seconds, I promise you I'll start an essay all pertaining to the birth of Darren Everett Marasigan Criss in San Francisco California to his success today. And I'm not kidding you, I even know the time of his birth, the hospital, the room his mother stayed, and even the doctor who c-sectioned his mother. So you better start talking, Blaine Anderson! :(

**Blaine Anderson:**

I love you

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah. I know. As a friend. So many freaking times you told me you love me as a friend, I can't count them all.

**Blaine Anderson:**

No. I don't love you as a friend anymore.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O So, is this your way of telling me we can't be friends anymore because I'm dating Trent? Because if that so, then this is the lowest you ever went Blaine. Heck, not even in my sex dreams with you have you ever went low like this.

**Blaine Anderson:**

...Okay...let's talk about your sex dreams of me some other time. Though, don't get me wrong I'm jumping for joy right now that you're having those kind of dreams with me...wait...I thought you have sex dreams with Darren?

**Kurt Hummel:**

My sex dreams are threesomes. You, me, and my Darren Criss.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Makes perfect sense...

**Kurt Hummel:**

Anyway, back to the subject. So...you're saying we can't be friends anymore because of me dating Trent. May I remind you we stayed best friends when you dated...what's his name...Jeremy? Jeddiah? The hell I don't know...yet you can't be friends with me while I'm dating Trent?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yeah.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...well fuck you, Anderson! And not the fuck you that means I-want-to-make-gaybies-with-you! FUCK YOU as in I-hate-you!

**Blaine Anderson: **

Fuck you me all you want Kurt. It won't change the fact that I love you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I thought you said we weren't friends anymore!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Who said I love you as a friend?

**Kurt Hummel:**

You did! You always said "as a friend" after you tell me you love me! Have you forgotten that? Do you have "as a friend" Amnesia?

**Blaine Anderson: **

No, I don't have Amnesia. Yes, I have added "as a friend" whenever I said I love you to you. But that was because I'm coward. Underneath this attention whore and hobbit like ways, is a coward who can't even tell the man he loves that he loves him as more than just a friend.

**Kurt Hummel:**

...I don't get what you are saying.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm saying I'm in love with you Kurt. Not as a friend. But as someone more. As someone I truly care about and someone I always think about that makes me feel like a girl!

**Kurt Hummel:**

...I don't believe you. You're just saying this to me because you're jealous of Trent having me.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I've been in love with you since I met you. The moment I saw you on the staircase, my breathe was literally taken away from me, I lost my voice for a second, my feet were stuck on the ground, my legs felt like jelly, and the only thing I can do is stare at the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life. You...

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **

I fell hard, really hard, but I tried to suppress that because of what happened to you with the President of Narnia.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine...

**Blaine Anderson: **

Then I pushed my feelings to the back of my mind so much that I completely forgot I'm in love with you. Jeremiah was a mistake. I wasn't in love with him. I was just making an excuse not to fall for you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine...

**Blaine Anderson:**

I can't help not falling for you. You are the most passionate, self-less, funniest, cutest, most generous, most sincere, most bitchy, most caring, and most loving person I've ever met. I love everything about you. Your beautiful ocean eyes sparkle every time I look at them and I sometimes get lost in those beautiful eyes of yours. Your adorable rosy cheeks. Every time you blush, I have to manifest all my will power not to kiss your cheeks. Your beautiful flawless face that I just want to cup with my hand and hold on to forever. Your voice...the most amazing and beautiful voice I ever heard. It's so angel-like that it was made by the angels in heaven. I always tear up when I hear your voice. Especially when you sing with so much emotion, I just want to hold on to you forever.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Your lips...my God...don't get me started with your lips...your lips that I can't help but fantasize being attached to mine...those are the only lips that I wanted to much, I could give up everything for those lips...the day you and I had our first kiss... that day sealed our future forever...Your smile...always melts my worries and troubles away...I always love making you smile...I feel like I'm doing something right when I make you smile...And your hands, my Grilled Cheesus, your soft SOFT hands that I constantly wish to intertwine my fingers too. The spaces between our fingers fit perfectly with each other. And whenever we stop holding hands, I feel a wave of sadness at the loss. And lastly, I know I fell very hard for the way you look at me. Because you, Kurt Hummel, is the only one who can see the real me. Who can understand the real Blaine Anderson, not just someone who's dapper, gay, and is good singing. But you see the good in me, and you love me for my flaws. You accept me for the good and bad. You even accepts my obsession with Katy Perry that alone says a lot. I'm in love with you, Kurt Hummel, and I know in my heart, that you are it for me. I can't love another guy but you. I hate that I was clueless and I hate that I pained you with Jeremiah and the countless months of my cowardice. But Kurt, you should always know that I would always love you. Today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, ten years from now, fifty years from now, till the day we both die, even if we're just souls...I will always love you. Always...

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O *crying* Blaine...I don't know what to say...

**Blaine Anderson:**

Say you love me too

**Kurt Hummel:**

I...I...I...

**Blaine Anderson:**

*sigh* Look, do you still remember our special place? The place where we always go when we want to relax or avoid the insanity the Warblers always create especially when we're present?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Of course I know our place. Why you ask?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes and if you're not there...that means you don't love me anymore, you don't want to be with me, you don't want to make gaybies with me, you don't want to make the million Klainers happy. If you do meet me there, then that means you love me, you want to be with me, you want to get your Anderson on, and I'll always remind you how stupid I was for being oblivious and stupid and a hobbit. So, it's your choice okay.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine...

**Blaine Anderson:**

No matter what choice you make, I'll always be your friend, Kurt. Though I hope you come...because it would break my gay heart if you don't. Bye.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine...don't make me choose...

**Blaine Anderson:**

BTW, Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:**

What?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Ti amo per sempre (I love you forever) *signs off*

**Kurt Hummel: **

Don't you dare use Italian to me, mister!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine!

**Kurt Hummel:**

BLAINE! THIS IS SO UNFAIR!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Damn that hot hobbit. My plan backfired. I'm going to kill Trent with every fiber of my hot body after this.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What to do? What to do?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Mr. Bang-Bang, what do I do? Oh my Gaga I'm asking for guidance from a gavel...damn you Mongolian Styled Chicken... Grrr...

* * *

><p><strong>Lord Tubbington:<strong>

Meow Meow MEOW meow meow... (You know who to choose. You've known since the beginning.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I know Lord T... but...he is so oblivious...

**Lord Tubbington:**

Meow ME-OW Meow meow meow M-E-OW (Everyone knows that Kurt. But he does love you. Besides, you'll get hot sex from him, screw the obliviousness. GAY SEX for the win)

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're right...but I don't care about the sex...

**Lord Tubbington:**

MEOW! (Yes you do!)

**Kurt Hummel:**

I do, do I? Still, I love him and he loves me. Why am I making this complicated?

**Lord Tubbington:**

MEow meow meow Meow MEOw (Klaine's not fun if it's not complicated.)

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're right. Thanks Lord T.

**Lord Tubbington:**

Meow meow meow (No worries Kurt. I love you!)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Love you too Lord T!

**Lord Tubbington:**

Meow meow meow meow meow meow (Name a Klaine baby after me)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Hell to the no way!

**Lord Tubbington:**

*insert adorable cat eyes* MEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWW? (Please?)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Damn those cat eyes...fine.

**Lord Tubbington: **

:)

* * *

><p>Kurt turned off his laptop and started to fix his hair as fast as possible, thinking of what he is going to do. He doesn't even need to think because he already knew what to do. He stood up from his dresser and went to stand in front of the body mirror hanging at the door. He slowly checked himself, making sure he looks good and breathtaking.<p>

Then with one final deep breath, he grabbed the door knob, turned it, and pulled the door open.

Closing the door, he let go of the knob, and sprinted to a run, knowing where he should go.

Knowing who he wants.

The boy he loved for five months now was waiting for him.

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson: <strong>Uh...guys? Has anyone seen K? We're going to be late for our date.

**Trent Nicholson: **Uh guys?

**Trent Nicholson: **Look, I know all of you are online. I see you are all online in my chat box! Please talk to me!

**Wes Yang: **Why should we talk to you, Mr. Klaine-ruiner?

**Thad Stevens **and **34 **others likes this

**Trent Nicholson: **Hate me all you want, I just want to know we're my sugar cakes is.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Stop calling Kurt with food names. You have no idea how much pain I'm feeling right now. It's like my heart getting stabbed by a kabbab a million and one times when you call Kurt a name of a food.

**Nick Connors: **I would call you any food you want if you love me.

**David Thompson: **Guys, end the love triangle for awhile and focus on what matters. Where is Kurt?

**Nick Connors: **Jeff didn't talked to me.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I don't want to talk! Leave me alone, Nick!

**Jordan McClaine: **I saw him leave his room awhile ago. He must be going to your room, Trent.

**Trent Nicholson: **I'm in my room. Look, he's not answering my texts or my calls. I'm starting to worry.

**Wes Yang: **ATTENTION ALL WARBLERS! GET TOGETHER! OPERATION: FIND KURT IS IN MOTION!

**Aaron Houghston: **Blaine's not in his room either.

**David Thompson: **How'd you know?

**Aaron Houghston: **I asked Blaine if he could tell me why we have teen fingers instead of teewelf since I love the number teewelf and I want teewelf fingers but when I went to his room, he's not there.

**Wes Yang: **hmmm...that's interesting...

**Thad Stevens: **Aaron wanting to have twelve fingers?

**Wes Yang: **NO you little piece of SHIT!

**Thad Stevens: **HOW MANY TIMES WILL I TELL YOU GUYS THAT YOU MOCK ME, SIR!

**Aaron Houghston: **Teewelf! :)

**Thad Stevens: ***Bi facepalm*

**David Thompson: **I know what Wes is talking about. Kurt missing + Blaine missing = ...

**Jordan McClaine: **KLAINE SEX! :)

**Trent Nicholson: **No...it means much more than sex. It's been what we've been praying for for the past five months.

**Wes Yang: **Let's us all take a moment of silence to commemorate this joyous occassion...

**David Thompson: **...

**Thad Stevens: **...

**Aaron Houghston: **...?

**Jeff Jefferson: **...

**Nick Connors: **...

**Jordan McClaine: **...*cough* Klaine sex *cough*

**Wes Yang: **...okay...now...a minute pass...let me first say one thing in my mind right...

**Wes Yang: **K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B! K.I.E.B!

**David Thompson: **Dude, what the hell does K.I.E.B means?

**Wes Yang: **DUH!

**Wes Yang: **KLAINE IS ENDGAME BITCHES! HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? SUCK MY ASIAN DICK!

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>The chapter is done! Well folks? Do you love me now because Klaine is finally happening? Well you should! I've done what you guys wanted for the last eighteen chapters so you better love me or Mr. Bang-Bang will kick your Klaine asses!

Summary:

Kurt and Trent put their plan into action but Trent ruined it by telling Blaine.

The Warblers went insane with the idea of Krent.

Blaine went into depression until Trent told him of Kurt's plan.

Nick found out Trent was the guy Jeff was in love with.

Nick and Jeff were supposed to talk but Jeff didn't want to.

Jordan talks to Kurt about his jealousy over Kitalene but it ends by Kurt stating that Jordan is Thad-sexual, meaning Thad is the only guy he likes which not actually means he is bi or gay.

Kurt and Blaine talk. Blaine tells Kurt he loves him after how many chapters. Kurt won't believe him because Blaine said that many times with "as a friend" next to it. But Blaine reassures him.

Blaine makes Kurt choose. Him or Chubby McWarblerson.

Kurt chooses Blaine.

Trent looks for Kurt. Only to find out that Kurt and Blaine's whereabouts are unknown.

The Warblers all decided that Klaine has finally gotten together.

KLAINE IS ENDGAME, BITCHES!

**FAVORITE PART:**

The story parts. Blaine finding out and Wevid's banging session.

and also,

Blaine Anderson's love speech to Kurt. I'm proud of writing that myself. :)

**FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER:**

The last quote, coming from Wesley Yang:

"KLAINE IS ENDGAME, BITCHES!

**Now, here is what I'd like you to do for me:**

_REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT FAVORITE PART AND QUOTE YOU LOVED._

_AND_

_TELL ME WHEN DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH KLAINE AND WHAT MADE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM_

_for example, mine._

_I fell in love with Klaine during the Christmas episode after Baby It's Cold Outside. _

_I love their flirtiness and the way they look at each other with this...want...and...desire that made me stare at my screen for very long minutes. _

_What made me love Klaine was Kurt's bold declaration to Mr. Schuester when he told him he was in love with Blaine. I know from experience that saying you "love" someone is very hard. It takes guts and, as Blaine said it before, COURAGE to say it. You are letting go of everything you have and say with uttermost belief that you love that person. _

_Kurt had so much courage to say he loves Blaine. ESPECIALLY to his teacher! And that made me wonder, "How lucky is Blaine for someone like Kurt to love him?" _

_And that started my love for Klaine and now they are my life, my obsession, and my most favorite TV couple. I hope this two make it._

_Especially since they are hitting a milestone in just about 24 hours left. _

**So Klaine's official. Don't worry. Jorthad and Wentana and getting together soon enough. **

**Next chapter will be posted next week. Chapter 20 will be filled, of course, by Will and Sue. Then, the long awaited Neff talk will happen. Also, Tike might happen too. Might. **

**Thank you for all my readers and reviewers, you guys are the bloom to my dale, the sun to my sky, the Kurt to my Blaine, the Santana to my Brittany, the Glee to my obsession. The hatred to my RIB. I LOVE YOU ALL and because of my love for you, my readers...**

**I'll leave a poem for all of you to ponder and take deep in thought:**

_Blaine's lips are red_

_Kurt's glasz eyes are sometimes blue_

_Klaine are going to do, they call it KLEX_

_What better way for the Klainers to die than Kurt and Blaine having sex_

* * *

><p><strong>ALL MY LOVE TO KLAINE AND MY FELLOW KLAINEBOWS!<strong>


	20. Satan's Right, Closet, & Will vs Sue IV

**Author's Note: Alright everybody I'm back! I know, I know...I said I would update every week but last week was very hectic for me. You see, in my country, high school is so hard...your only a freshmen and yet you have TONS of projects. I'm a junior and let me tell you, they triple by each passing year. So glad there's only two more years left till I graduate...so...I have a REASONABLE excuse. I didn't expect for my projects to pile up like that. Still, I apologize from the deepest part of Kurt Hummel's pants...which I'm sure Blaine Anderson is tapping... **

**Warning: Rated M for sexual parts and use of swears**

**Theme: Mr. Bang-Bang goodness**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, if so, I would haven't given X-Factor my timeslot and deprive Glee fans EVERYWHERE of another episode where SANTANA comes out! For crying out loud, RIB! Stop fucking everyone...no pun intended...**

**I also do not own Facebook because if I do...I would be buying the entire Glee cast to perform for me EVERYDAY or...have a shirtless Darren Criss by my side everyday...**

**Acknowledgements: I would like to acknowledge my deepest gratitude to ****MusicalEscape**** for the Sue Sylvester comments and ****Full-Empty-Spirit**** for her love of Jorthad. She gave me the inspiration for this chapter so, all credits actually belong to her. I'm just the writer. Thank you two so much. **

**Thank you all who reviewed last chapter and told me that Blaine's speech made them cry. Blaine's speech is actually my dream speech or some parts of it that I hope one day a guy can tell me...*ehem*...Darren Criss...*ehem***

**Now get your daily dose of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook served up by yours truly, enjoy Facebook Glee Addicts! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty:<strong>

**Satan's Right, Closet Talk, and Will vs. Sue IV**

* * *

><p>Jordan McClaine hates everyone right now. Especially Kurt Hummel.<p>

_Damn Kurt for planting that seed in my mind. Now it can't stop growing and soon it will be a gigantic tree that I need to chop down or I'll never stop thinking about it._

He thought as he laid in his bed, naked, with a red-headed girl...Maple...lying next to him, also naked. This is the method he used when he's upset. Fuck a girl so hard because of his anger and then clear his head after the fucking. He was a little sorry for Maple. He didn't mean to bruise her so much.

Then again, she said that was hottest fuck she ever gotten in her life so...he guess it wasn't so bad. Hell, when was he ever bad in bed? Never.

He slowly sat up from his bed and crept over Maple's sleeping form to get up from the bed. He grabbed his forgotten boxers on the floor and threw it in the dirty bin. He didn't wear an underwear at all since he experienced the wonderful world of sex because always spends so much naked, wearing underwear was such a hagard thing to do. He walked around naked in his room to get his discarded phone, how did it get on Thad's bed he will never know. He looked at the time on his cell and read it.

_2:00 am. _It said. Thaddeus Stevens, his roommate, is still not back. Which means only one thing...

_He's with Kitalene. Fucking her in her bed, making loud moaning noises that echoes across the hallways of Crawford Country Day. I bet he has her pinned down and he was the one dominating. I bet the way he penetrated her hurt her and yet made her feel so full and content. I bet he wants to be with her so bad; he'll fuck her everyday to do so..._

_I bet Thad loves her... _That was the last thing Jordan thought before he threw his cell phone out of anger causing Maple to suddenly wake up and bolt up from Jordan's bed.

"What the hell was that?" She asked, looking a little frightened with the anger written all over Jordan's face.

Jordan turned to her, breathing a little heavily, trying to contain his anger. "Nothing. Bad dream. You need to leave." He said coldly at her, his eyes transfixed on the floor.

"Don't you want a round two?" She said suggestively, taking off the blankets covering her sexy body, exposing her naked form.

"No," He said dead seriously. "I want you to leave. Now." He said, sounding like an order. Maple looked at him for a minute before rolling her eyes and standing up from Jordan's bed. She bent over to grab her discarded tank top and mini skirt and then ran towards the door naked. She opened the door and looked back at him.

"Fuck you, Jordan." She said sounding pissed before closing the door with a loud shut that must have woken Jordan's neighbours.

"You did." Jordan mumbled before sighing. He turned his head to his roommate's empty bed and felt a wave of sadness and anger at the same time.

_Does Thad even know how to read a watch? Does he know it's two freaking o'clock in the morning? How irresponsible can he get? _Jordan thought as he sat on Thad's bed. _This is mocking his perfect boy reputation!_

He slowly let his hand wander Thad's blanket. It was a gift from Kurt, as far as he knew, because it was Egyptian cotton and only Kurt sleeps in Egyptian cotton. This made him think of Kurt. A scowl crept on his face.

_Kurt. _He thought angrily. _Telling me I'm Thad-sexual made me what I am today and it seriously ruining me. I hate you so much right now. Not even a Klaine sex tape would make me forgive you. _

_Maybe..._

Suddenly Jordan felt something soft underneath Thad's pillow. Curiosity getting the best of him, he grabbed the pillow and pulled it up and found a worn out teddy bear under it. Jordan smiled at the sight. He didn't know Thad owned a teddy bear, maybe because this would seriously mock him as a man. But to Jordan, this was the most adorable tidbit he found out about Thad.

He grabbed hold of the teddy bear and brought it up to his nose and sniffed, his eyes widened. _Oh my God it smells like Thad. _Then he immediately slapped himself. _What the hell am I doing? So what if it smells like Thad? What's so good with Thad's smell? _He asked himself.

The words of Kurt Hummel went to haunt his mind.

_You're Thad-sexual... _

_Damn you, Kurt Hummel. _

Suddenly, Jordan didn't want to think anymore. He was too tired.

Too tired of fucking.

Too tired of hating Kurt.

Too tired of waiting for Thad.

He was just tired now. So he let his tired head fall onto Thad's pillow and he grabbed Thad's blankets, pulling it over his head. Then, he cuddled with Thad's teddy bear and sighed contentedly. He fell asleep immediately.

He dreamed that Thad wasn't with Kit but with him, lying next to him in bed, Thad's arms across his waist, holding onto him. Making him feel safe...

And loved.

* * *

><p><strong>Will Schuester: <strong>He: You know you're like a camera. She: How? He: Because when I'm around you, you always make me smile. Isn't that cute guys? So cute...cuter than puppies and kittens...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Dolphins are much cuter than puppies and kittens...unless we're talking about Lord T, he's the CUTEST cat in the world. Right Lord T?

**Lord Tubbington: **Meo-w m-eow me-ow! (You bet your sweet unicorn ass, I'm the cutest!)

**Brittany S. Pierce **likes this

**Santana Lopez: **Sweater vest addict is acting like a pedo bear...even on Facebook? Man, you're one lonely man.

**Artie Abrams: **Yow, it's so wrong to find your teacher posting a corny status like that. How will you get students to respect you?

**Quinn Fabray: **^True that^

**Artie Abrams: **Thanks babe *kiss*

**Quinn Fabray: ***kiss*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Awww...Mr. Schuester's in love. :P

**Rachel Berry: **finds this very peculiar since Mr. Schuester is known in Lima as a...oh what is the scientifical word for that...oh fuck it...manwhore.

**Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, **and **43 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **I 'AM NOT A MANWHORE! :(

**Rachel Berry: **^Liar liar pants on fire^ :P

**Finn Hudson: **That was just a nasty rumour, Rachel, by Sue. Mr. Schuester's NOT a manwhore.

**Will Schuester: **Thank Grilled Cheesus someone's at my side here.

**Santana Lopez: **Hey Man boobs! Have you forgotten that Mr. Schuester went out with a virgin, made out with Man hands's mother, kissed the Beiste herself and slept with Maybe this time?

**Finn Hudson: **...I take back everything I said about Mr. Schuester. Shit, you and Coach Beiste. That's just...*makes face*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Mr. Schuester and Coach Beiste getting their nasty on is hot. :) And Lord Tubbington agrees. Right Lord Tubbington?

**Lord Tubbington **likes this

**Artie Abrams: **One word: NASTY! *makes face*

**Quinn Fabray, Finn Hudson, **and **64 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **Why are my kids always mean on Facebook?

**Sue Sylvester: **Because William you suck more on Facebook than in real life. :)

**Will Schuester: **I did not need your opinion Sue.

**Sue Sylvester: **William, Sue Sylvester's opinions are the most important opinions in the world. Heck, hearing a Sue Sylvester quote a day, keeps you away from sucking and being a ridiculous retard with hair that is a total abomination to mankind aka you. :)

**Will Schuester: **You know Sue, I had a good day today and now you've ruined it. I hate you so much.

**Sue Sylvester: **That's not news anymore, William. I feast on your hatred. The same way the little people in your hair feast on the butter you put on it to make it resemble hair. Without that butter in your hair, they would cease to exist. Heck, why don't you do a favor to mankind and the future generations ahead of us by stopping the growth of the population of little people in your hair, aka stop using hair gel?

**Will Schuester: **How many times will I tell you there are no little people in my hair?

**Sue Sylvester: **The number of women you manwhored. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>Wow.

**David Thompson: **What's with the "wow", Wesley?

**Wes Yang: **Dalton is so quiet with Klaine not around. Also, it kind of made my life boring.

**David Thompson: **Wesley, you're life is boring. Besides the Warblers, Klaine, Santana, and Mr. Bang-Bang, you're one boring Asian.

**Wes Yang: **And you are one porn addict who's still a virgin because his girlfriend doesn't want to take the next step.

**David Thompson: **HEY! I respect Tater Tots' choice. I love her, she loves me. I'm happy with that. At least my girl knows I love her. Unlike you, you're a Mongolian Chicken.

**Wes Yang: **Put a sock in it, virgin!

**David Thompson: **Suck it Mongolian Chicken!

**Wes Yang: **Virgin!

**David Thompson: **Mongolian Chicken!

**Wes Yang: **Virgin!

**David Thompson: **Mongolian Chicken!

**Wes Yang: **Virgin!

**David Thompson: **Mongolian Chicken!

**Wes Yang: **VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Aaron Houghston: **I miss Kurt and Blaine. :(

**Wes Yang: **Awww...Aaron, don't worry. As long as Klaine are together, everything in the world is perfect.

**David Thompson: **If that's so, care to explain to me the escalating number of deaths, rapes, murders, crimes, racisms, sexism, unequality of the sexes, and scandals everyday?

**Wes Yang: **Another comment like that and I will burn all of your Maria Osawa porn CDs.

**David Thompson: **...So...in another note...where are those two? I hope there safe...

**Jordan McClaine: **Probably doing the world a favor and making the Klaine babies we have longed for so long...

**Wes Yang: **Woah, Jordan? Glad to hear from you man, it's been a long time. I thought sex has finally killed you.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O A person can die from sex?

**Wes Yang: **Too much of, possible...your dick might fall off...

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Winnie the Pooh will fall off if I have too much sex? O_O

**David Thompson: **O_O Winnie the Pooh? *facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine: **Dude, that's got to be the WORST name for a dick I've ever heard...it's worse than Mr. Bang-Bang junior?

**Aaron Houghston: **Who named their dick Mr. Bang-Bang junior?

**David Thompson: **O_O Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? I'll give you a hint...Mongolian Chicken...

**Wes Yang: **Bastard...

**Aaron Houghston: Mike Chang?**

**Mike Chang: **RACISM! I 'AM NOT A MONGOLIAN CHICKEN! Korean maybe...but not Mongolian!

**Jordan McClaine: **It's Wesley, Aaron...

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh...did not see that coming...

**David Thompson: ***Virgin facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***NOT a Mongolian Chicken Facepalm*

**Mike Chang: ***Offended Asian facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine: ***Just seriously? Facepalm*

**David Thompson: **So...putting that insane topic behind us...Jordan, how'd you been? I missed your sexual comments.

**Jordan McClaine: **I missed you guys too. I was drowning in estrogen in my room.

**Wes Yang: **...how many women have you slept with for the past two days?

**Jordan McClaine: **The same number of times I caught David masturbating.

**David Thompson: **You slept with FIFTEEN women in TWO days? That's got to me a world record man.

**Wes Yang: **Jordan caught you masturbating FIFTEEN times? Dude, do you even know what a lock is? Heck, do you even know the exact time when to masturbate?

**David Thompson: ***rolls his eyes* Of course I know what a lock is. And I masturbate when I think people are not around. Jordan just keeps barging in at wrong circumstances...not my fault. Don't talk to me like I'm Aaron or something.

**Aaron Houghston: **You're name's Aaron too? O_O I thought it was David Michael Thompson?

**David Thompson: **That is my whole name, David Michael Thompson.

**Aaron Houghston: **Then why did you say "I'm Aaron" earlier?

**David Thompson: **Because...never mind Aaron...

**Aaron Houghston: **What does "never mind" mean?

**David Thompson: ***Facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine: **Hehe...Michael...what a funny name...always reminds me of "Thriller" and "Moon walk" and having a pet monkey...

**David Thompson: **Oh yeah? What about Jordan John McClaine. That sounds funnier than mine's.

**Jordan McClaine: **At least my name can be associated to the hot G.I. Joe stud also known as Channing Tatum. I love Dear John...Amanda Seyfried was sexy as hell there.

**Mike Chang: **I hate that guy...*insert me glaring at Channing Tatum's naked picture*

**Wes Yang: **I hate Channing Tatum, he always makes me feel less of a man.

**David Thompson: **Aren't you already less of a man and more of a woman?

**Wes Yang: **I don't know how about I ask you the same question?

**David Thompson: **I ASKED YOU FIRST MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **Well, I won't answer until you answer first, VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **VIRGIN!

**David Thompson: **I CAN'T BELIEVE SANTANA IS SLEEPING WITH A MONGOLIAN CHICKEN!

**Wes Yang: **I CAN'T BELIEVE MERCEDES IS DATING A PORN ADDICT WHO'S A FUCKING VIRGIN. THAT'S GOT TA BE HUMILIATING!

**David Thompson: **WHAT'S HUMILIATING IS THAT YOU MASTURBATE TO A PICTURE OF MR. BANG-BANG!

**Wes Yang: **TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID! TAKE IT!

**David Thompson: **:P

**Wes Yang: **I WILL FUCKING BANG YOU IF YOU DON'T!

**David Thompson: **THEN BE MY FUCKING GUESS! BANG ME TILL I PASS OUT!

**Wes Yang: **I WILL! :(

**David Thompson: **GO ON THEN! DO IT!

**Jordan McClaine: **Okay... I'm leaving here before the sexual tension between you two explodes and destroys my internet connection and my dirty mind. Bye. *signs off*

**Wes Yang: **What's Jordan's problem?

**David Thompson: **No idea. Maybe it involves him being in the closet.

**Wes Yang: **I don't think so...what's so sexual about banging?

**David Thompson: **I'm like Aaron with that question. Completely clueless. What's that about?

**Wes Yang: **Something I know that you'll never know...unless Trent finds out...you know that Queen Chatterbox can't keep his mouth shut...

**Aaron Houghston: **What's clueless?

**David Thompson: **The way Blaine was used to be until he finally made Klaine happen...at long last...

**Wes Yang: **K.I.E.B! :)

**David Thompson: **You really are a Klainer...aren't you?

**Wes Yang: **Who the hell is not? If you are not a Klainer, I will murder you. Never let me know that you're not a Klainer because that would be the last time you'll be breathing...through your nose and mouth...

**David Thompson: **...dude...you really need help...like...I'm not kidding this time...

**Wes Yang: **All is Klaine and nothing hurts.

**David Thompson: **What the hell did Kurt and Blaine do to you?

**Wes Yang: **After rain, there's a Klainebow...

**David Thompson: **I'm going to the nurse now and ask her to restrain you.

**Wes Yang: **Potassium+Lanthanum+Iodine+Neon=KLaINe=Fireworks!

**David Thompson: **She's coming to your room now, Wes.

**Wes Yang: **Klaine is endgame, bitches! *insert showing off Asian crotch*

**David Thompson: **Oh look...the nurse is here...Thank Mr. Bang-Bang...

**Wes Yang: **Mr. Bang-Bang for the win! K.I.E.B!

* * *

><p><strong>Will Schuester: <strong>If God is the DJ, and Life is the dance floor, Love is the rhythm, You are the music.

**Quinn Fabray: **Bad Mr. Schuester! Using God as a quote like that! :(

**Finn Hudson: **One word: CORNY!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **O_O? Honey? What did corn ever done to you?

**Finn Hudson: **...nothing...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Then why did you say corny? Is corn bad with you?

**Finn Hudson: **Uh...no...corn treats me fine. Well...in the bathroom, corn seems to not coordinate in my stomach...

**Noah Puckerman: **Dude, that was knowledge I didn't want to know about you...

**Finn Hudson: **Well...now you know...

**Artie Abrams: **I still find it weird that a teacher is posting love quotes. It's weirder than Finn's Man boobs.

**Rachel Berry, Brittany S. Pierce **and **43 **others likes this

**Finn Hudson: **WHEN WILL YOU GUYS STOP COMMENTING ABOUT MY ABNORMALLY LARGE NIPPLES?

**Santana Lopez: **The day Mr. Schue stops being a manwhore...

**Finn Hudson: **...NEVER! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What did a kid do to you, Finn? O_O Do you need me to ask Lord Tubbington to talk to the kid?

**Finn Hudson: **No sweetie...no worries...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **First corn...now kids...why do you all hate my Finny! :(

**Noah Puckerman: **Mr. Schuester, as your student...

**Quinn Fabray: **...and fellow manwhore...

**Noah Puckerman: ***ignoring little miss Stretch Marks* I advise you stop posting love sick quotes because it's just...plain...wrong...it's more wrong than getting your dick tattoed...I'm speaking from experience...

**Finn Hudson: **O_O You tattoed your dick?

**Noah Puckerman: **One word: Tequila

**Finn Hudson: ***Shudders*

**Sue Sylvester: **I agree with Mohawk boy here.

**Noah Puckerman: **I have a name.

**Sue Sylvester: **And that name constantly makes me throw up books everywhere because it reminds me a used-to-be-hot-but-not-anymore Ryan Goslin. I suggest you change your name if you know what's good for you.

**Noah Puckerman: **...? Wait...Ryan Goslin is still hot...

**Artie Abrams: **So far inside the closet that leads to Narnia...

**Sue Sylvester: **Schuester, another post of a love quote and I will be forced to call the authorities to arrest you for making the students feel weird with your post.

**Will Schuester: **What is wrong with a man in love posting love quotes?

**Sue Sylvester: **There's nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong if YOU'RE the man in love posting love quotes.

**Artie Abrams: **I hate to agree with Coach Sue but I agree with Coach Sue. Who's with me?

**Santana Lopez, Quinn Fabray, **and **254 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **What the hell does FB have that makes my kids so damn mean?

**Artie Abrams: **Freedom to write everything we want. Right bitches? :)

**Noah Puckerman: **Ehem...

**Artie Abrams: ***rolls eyes* Right bitches and motherfuckers?

**Finn Hudson: **YEAH!

**Noah Puckerman: **Jewish Hell to the Yeah!

******************FACEBOOK ADDICTS*******************

**Sue Sylvester: **Schuester, may I speak to you in private?

**Will Schuester: **NO! That would be the last thing I'll ever do. The last thing I want to do is die in the arms of the woman I love.

**Sue Sylvester: **Curly, I don't believe that would be safe for the woman...to ever be near you...

**Will Schuester: **And why would she not be safe?

**Sue Sylvester: **William, lay me put it down to that small pea inside your head...scientist call a brain... Emma would never be able to go near you without finding the incessant need to sterilize the germ-laden butter you pack into your hair...so...chances of being in her arms are the same as Lindsay Lohan's career rising again after the stupid things she's done in her life...

**Will Schuester: **...how'd you know it's...

**Sue Sylvester: **Also, with the combined flammability of her cleaning products and your stinky hair gel, if I were to, say, *accidentally* drop a lighter near both of you, you would burn faster than your precious Glee club's financial documents in my Sue-flamethrower. And by "accidentally", I mean "done it on purpose but you can't prove anything".

**Will Schuester: **How'd you know it was Emma?

**Sue Sylvester: **Only a man with so much grease and little people on top of his head, aka you, would not find it obvious that you are in love with someone like Neat Freaker Cleany Buck...also, my Sue-cameras told me otherwise...

**Will Schuester: **No adjective can describe how freaky you are, Sue.

**Sue Sylvester: **Then let me make a new word that will be in the 2012 edition of Webster's dictionary. Sylvesty.

**Will Schuester:** Worst word I've ever read. *laughing his fucking ass chin off*

**Sue Sylvester: **You will rue this day, Will Schuester. RUE! Sylvesty style! :(

**Will Schuester: **The word sucks Sue! And so do you! :)

**Sue Sylvester: **... :( *signs off*

**Finn Hudson: **YOU JUST GOT BURNED BY THE MANWHORE!

**Noah Puckerman: **GO MANWHORE!

**Artie Abrams: **MANWHORE! MANWHORE! MANWHORE!

**Quinn Fabray, Mercedes Jones, **and **673 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **I need to ban Facebook to my students...

* * *

><p><strong>VIA MOBILE<strong>

**Jeff Jefferson **to **Nick Connors: **Nick? Nick?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Come on Nick! Let's finally have that talk!

**Jeff Jefferson: **NICHOLAS CONNORS!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Hey Nicky, JB's in Ohio. And I got tickets?

**Nick Connors: **What do you want Jeffrey?

**Jeff Jefferson: **I want to talk. Where are you?

**Nick Connors: **Hoping to be in your heart.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Sorry, you'll be sharing that with Trent since he's living there.

**Nick Connors: **Well then...have a nice day...I'm leaving...

**Jeff Jefferson: **It's night time, you idiot.

**Nick Connors: **Oh...still...I won't tell you where I am.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Come on, Nick. Instead of prolonging the agony, why can't we just talk?

**Nick Connors: **Who wants to talk with the kind of situation we are in?

**Jeff Jefferson: **What are you talking about?

**Nick Connors: **Oh please! Like it's not common sense to you. I'm in love with you, you're in love with Trent, Trent's in love with me. No one's going to win in this...unless one gives up. And let me put it down to you, Jeffrey Jefferson...

**Jeff Jefferson: **What?

**Nick Connors: **...I'm not giving up on you. You might be in love with Trent now...but sooner or later you'll realize he can't love you back and get a broken heart...I'll still be waiting...for you...

**Jeff Jefferson: **...I...where are you Nick?

**Nick Connors: **Since I'm not in your heart, I won't tell you.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Come on Nick! Don't be such a big JB!

**Nick Connors: **What does JB have to do with this?

**Jeff Jefferson: **You don't remember his song, "Baby"? Get it? Don't be such a big JB? Don't be such a big "Baby"?

**Nick Connors: **:) Weird and insulting that joke maybe, I still love you...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Come on Nick, I'm serious. Where are you? At Dalton.

**Nick Connors: **I want to be alone, Jeff.

**Jeff Jefferson: **You know, "Two is better than one". Right?

**Nick Connors: **WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP QUOTING SONG TITLES?

**Jeff Jefferson: **What's so wrong quoting songs? As Warblers, we should "Sing a Song" all the time!

**Nick Connors: **If you're trying to turn me off with you, it's not working...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Not even the fact, I'll be the size of a boat by the time I'm thirty because of my appetite?

**Nick Connors: **I find your love of food endearing...

**Jeff Jefferson: **For a second there, I thought of Kurt...where are Kurt and Blaine?

**Nick Connors: **...I don't want to think of Kurt and Blaine...

**Jeff Jefferson: **Don't let Wes see that! He will fillet you alive!

**Nick Connors: **Whatever. Change topic.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Alright then...found you.

**Nick Connors: **What?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Look up.

* * *

><p>Inside the supplies room, also known as the laundry room in Dalton, Nick Connors looked up from his Iphone and stared at the doorway to find the person he was chatting with leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face and a little sweaty. Nick found himself staring into those gorgeous eyes of his best friend and felt the small tingles in his stomach and fingers that were always present when he sees this beautiful specimen, aka Jeff Jefferson.<p>

_Damn. How'd he find me?_

"Found you," Jeff repeated as he flipped his cell phone to a close and closed the door behind him. He watched as Nick, who was seating with his knees bent and his head on his knees move away a little, as if Jeff was kind of a virus he wants to avoid.

"How'd you find me here? No one goes here at night. Too scary." Nick said in a quiet voice, almost a whisper if Jeff wasn't a good listener.

"Not necessarily scary," Jeff pointed out, moving closer to Nick and crouching next to him. Then, he let his behind fall onto the floor and sat in an Indian seat position. "It's the smell that scares the students here. It smells like ammonia. And ammonia's the perfume of the dead."

Nick smiled a little but just for a second. Jeff continued. "I also remember you went here after you came out to the Warblers. I followed you, but I didn't have the heart to go inside in the closet with you. I didn't know how to handle the situation. I suck at situations like this."

Nick simply nodded. He remembered that. A year ago, sophomore year, best and worst time of his life. Being a transferee in the middle of the year, life as a student and a gay man wasn't easy, but Trent, Blaine, and Jeff made his sophomore year better...even if Jeff was straight then... But even he posed as a straight guy to them when he first transferred. Fearing they won't accept him, but as time gone by, he realized he had nothing to hide. When he did came out, they accepted him immediately and half knew he was gay, they were just waiting for him to say the word. He felt so happy he was accepted he burst into tears and ran away into this closet. This closet and he have a history and it became his favorite place in Dalton, small as the closet maybe.

Now, another thing is happening in the closet. Something that can change is future completely.

There talk. Nick knew he had to be careful with his words. This moment is the crossing point between him and Jeff and he is not screwing it up. Not in his life.

"No you don't," Nick said. "You don't suck at situations like this. When you were straight, you clearly loved hanging out with me and you treated me like you treat other guys."

"Yeah," Jeff agreed. "Except the other guys don't love me. You do. There's a HUGE difference there, Nick."

"Yeah," Nick nodded. "But you did the right thing." This time, Jeff turned his head to Nick and their eyes met again, Nick feeling tingles all over his body. Jeff, feeling only sorry for him, Nick, and Trent. "You came looking for me to fix this." He paused. "If this can be fixed." He was pointing out their friendship and relationship. Can friends still remain friends even if one is love with the other? No. Clearly no.

Jeff sighed, leaning his head against the supply rack, still looking at Nick with tired eyes. "Nick, I love him." He simply stated but the statement overflowed dead pan seriousness that made Nick force himself not to cry.

"Why?"

Jeff gaze didn't waver as he looked at Nick with a serious expression. "Why not?" He retorted.

Nick really tried to be calm and serious, he really did, but seriously...of all the people...why Trent? "Why Trent?"

Jeff closed his eyes and sighed deeply, his brow furrowing into deep thought. Nick resisted to smile, he always find it cute to see Jeff in this form. Being serious made Jeff ten times cuter...not to mention hotter...

Nick's train of thought left him when he felt a hand cover his oversensitive hand that bursted with tingles. _Oh my Bieber his holding my hand! _He thought. Jeff looked at him with seriousness.

"Nick, you are someone who is very lucky." Jeff began. "A lot of people love you. Heck, you have six siblings and two loving parents." He pointed out, squeezing his hand. "But Trent, he has no one. He was an orphan and only got adopted when he was eight. Eight years. EIGHT freaking years of no one loving you. A reasonable reason why Trent is what he is. And when he told me his story, I was touched to the core. I'm very sure you just heard that tidbit about Trent just now. Am I right?"

Nick simply nodded.

"And well, that started it all. I want to make him feel the love he never felt. And even now, he still feels like an outsider in the family. Why do you think he boards?"

Nick stared at him for awhile until finally he said what he's been thinking. "You're not in love with him," He stated.

Jeff furrowed his brow, looking offended. "Excuse me?" He let go of his hand tangled with Nick and crosses his arms on his chest.

"You don't love Trent." Nick said, sounding sure. "You pity him."

"No I don't,"

"Yes I do,"

"No I don't,"

"Yes you do, Jeff. You felt sorry for him and that's why you want to be with him. That's not love Jeff."

Jeff looked at him in disbelief. As if he was talking to an enemy. "I cannot believe you told me that, Nick." He stood up, anger written all over his face. "I cannot believe you said that to me."

With a shaking hand out of anger, he pointed at Nick. "YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO ME! I LOVE HIM, GODDAMMIT! I DON'T LOVE HIM BECAUSE I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM! I LOVE HIM BECAUSE AT LEAST HE IS NOT THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD SAY THINGS YOU SAID TO ME. YOU ASKED ME WHY HIM? WELL, NOW YOU KNOW THE ANSWER! BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOVE A GUY LIKE YOU!" Jeff shouted at the top of his lungs. He turned around and left the room, faster as you can say "bye".

Nick sat there with eyes wide open and his mouth slightly agape. He closed his eyes after a few and scrunched up his hands until they were fists.

He stood up and angrily punched the wall.

_I screwed up._

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>

Satan, I need you. Answer now or face THE blackmail. You know what I mean...

**Santana Lopez:**

What's up Dr. McSexy? And what's with this blackmail business you talking about? I'm not afraid of you posting our sex tape online. Heck, it's not even a problem with me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You really are Satan, you know that?

**Santana Lopez:**

You know it. ;) So, what's up?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I need advice on how to torture Kurt.

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

NO! O_O Don't hurt my Dolphin! PLEASE!

**Jordan McClaine: **

Uh...what are you doing here? I only PM Satan.

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

Lord T thought me how to hack people's PMs. He is such a smart cat! Did you know he's also the cutest?

**Santana Lopez:**

If I were you, McSexy, I'll just go with it.

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

Wasn't that an Adam Sandler movie?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah and he was sexy as fuck in it.

**Santana Lopez:**

O_O

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

IKR?

**Santana Lopez:**

Okay McSexy, what is up and why do you want to torture Kurt? How can you torture a creature like him with those hips?

**Jordan McClaine:**

He ruined me.

**Santana Lopez:**

O_O *SHOCKED FACE* Oh My Lima Heights! YOU TAPPED KURT HUMMEL!

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

Wait...I thought Dolphin liked Dolphin's dolphin?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Hot and fuckable Kurt might be, no, I did not tap him. And besides, it's not like I can since he and Blaine finally got their brains working and got together.

**Santana Lopez: **

Wait a minute...KLAINE'S FINALLY TOGETHER?

**Jordan McClaine: **

Well...not so sure but we all believe they are. No one has heard from the two for two days. We only have two assumptions...either their together and just wants to be together, avoiding the drama or their together and fucking their brains off...

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

I want the second one and so does Lord T!

**Santana Lopez:**

I cannot believe Porcelain didn't tell us.

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

Meow me-ow meow m-ee-ooww meow—www mmmmeeow K.I.E.B! (Santana, please understand. Kurt must have been so overwhelmed of Klaine finally happen that he forgot to tell us. Well, I knew. Just be happy Klaine is together and as Wesley puts it...K.I.E.B!

**Jordan McClaine:**

I didn't understand anything.

**Santana Lopez:**

Lord T hacked Britt's FB again. Anyway, I'm happy for Porcelain and Curly Hobbit but you, why do you want to torture Porcelain?

**Jordan McClaine:**

He called me Thad-sexual.

**Santana Lopez:**

Didn't we have the same conversation just like this when we were still fuck mates?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah, but this time it just messed me up. Back then, I thought of it as a joke.

**Santana Lopez:**

But you are Thad-sexual.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Satan! You should be siding with me! Not Kurt!

**Santana Lopez:**

I'm going to tell you something Jords. And you can never tell ANYONE that I said this or I will endz you. Got it?

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

She's not kidding Thadphin.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thadpin?

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

Jordan McClaine = Thadpin Thad Stevens = Biphin/Jorphin

**Jordan McClaine:**

You've got to be kidding me?

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

O_O Kids are mean to you too? What is up with kids these days?

**Jordan McClaine: **

*Facepalm* Satan, just tell me what you want to say. Bare in mind, pun intended, I hate Kurt.

**Santana Lopez:**

Jordan, I know you're afraid of love because in your whole life growing up you never saw one happy, functioning relationship. I know from what Porcelain told me that Thad told me that you parents have an open marriage and it killed you. You hated it. You hated the fact that your OWN parents don't love each other. If you're parents don't love each other, you made yourself believe that no one can love you back. But you are worthy to be loved, Jordan. You are a good man, underneath that dirty mind of yours. I know you want to protect yourself from getting hurt, and that's why you indulge in meaningless sex with women that mean nothing to you. No one of them meant anything to you. But if something is worth having, it's worth risking your feelings for. Forget about the strings attached, just take a chance. Take a change on Thad.

**Jordan McClaine:**

...I...

**Brittany S. Pierce: **

I so love you right now Santana.

**Santana Lopez:**

I know Britts, I know. I didn't knew I had it in me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Are you sure you're Satan?

**Santana Lopez:**

You want my fist shoved in your ass?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yes please

**Santana Lopez:**

Can't, I'm with Mongolian Chicken.

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

Mike Chang?

**Santana Lopez:**

No! Wes Yang!

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

That was Lord T, not me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Satan, I'm both amazed and surprised with what you said.

**Santana Lopez:**

You're also in deep thought because you can't deny that what I said hit a string. I was freaking right.

**Jordan McClaine:**

No comment.

**Santana Lopez:**

Haha! I was right!

**Brittany S. Pierce:**

When were you left?

* * *

><p><strong>Will Schuester: <strong>Boy: I'm so freaking tired. Girl: Why, you haven't done anything today? How can you be tired? Boy: Because you keep running in my mind. If you don't like this, I will flunk you kids in Spanish.

**Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry, **and **3,214 **others likes this

**Will Schuester: **That's better.

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Mr. Schuester, I 'am here to arrest you.

**Artie Abrams: **Oh what the hell? Wait...what's with the name? *trying not to laugh*

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **You want to get arrested to, son?

**Artie Abrams: **Only for acting like a gangsta. Don't want to get arrested for laughing at a weird name.

**Policeman Ipeein My pants: **Who has a weird name?

**Artie Abrams: **Uh...Lady Gaga?

**Mercedes Jones: ***insert Tater tot glare*

**Will Schuester: **Arrest me? What the hell did I do?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **What is it this time? Please tell me it's not bad as the last one.

**Finn Hudson: **THIS HAPPENED BEFORE? O_O

**Brittany S. Pierce: **DUH! Remember once he slept in our Choir room?

**Finn Hudson: **Oh yeah...forgot that...

**Santana Lopez: **I'm surprised you remember your name.

**Finn Hudson: **Well, at least I remember to have a heart. Not like you, who's heartless.

**Rachel Berry: ***GASP* O_O

**Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, **and **12 **others likes this

**Mercedes Jones: **This is not going to end well.

**Noah Puckerman: **FIGHT TO THE DEATH BITCHES!

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Excuse me kids, can't you see I'm trying to arrest someone here?

**Rachel Berry: **On Facebook? Why Facebook?

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Because, there has been a complaint by a celebrity and her wife that a certain Will Schuester has been torturing kids with sickening love quotes and insulting a properties of hers that she left undertermine.

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O Mr. Schue manwhored a GUY?

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **No, this came from a woman. A woman named Sue?

**Will Schuester: ***Facepalm* I should have known. That woman is definitely the one behind all this.

**Quinn Fabray: **Payback for your manwhoring ways.

**Santana Lopez **and **92,453 **others likes this

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **You MANWHORE too? Oh, this is definitely worth arresting.

**Will Schuester: **NO! Sir! There's got to be a misunderstanding here. The woman who complained is a woman with severe problems in her head. You cannot take her seriously! SHE'S MARRIED TO HERSELF!

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Let's see how your students save. Kids, has this man been torturing you with sickening love quotes?

**Finn Hudson: **ABSOLUTELY!

**Rachel Berry: **Sickening that makes me vomit my vegetarian meals!

**Noah Puckerman: **Makes my badassness go away...

**Artie Abrams: **Makes me meaner and I'm already mean.

**Quinn Fabray: **He insults my God and affects me with his Manwhoring ways!

**Mercedes Jones: **More disgusting than my expired tots.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Makes me barf unicorn rainbows

**Santana Lopez: **Makes me want to kill myself with his hair...

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Well, Mr. Schuester, I have hard evidence that you should be in jail.

**Will Schuester: **This is so UNFAIR! My kids are mean when there in Facebook. Talk to them personally!

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Tell that to the judge. I'll be going to your place in two minutes. Leave, and you'll be the most wanted in Ohio. Got that?

**Will Schuester: **This is so against my rights! Who's the judge? I need to explain this misunderstanding.

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Judge Sylvester.

**Will Schuester: **Oh fuck...

**Policeman Ipeein Mypants: **Swearing is also against the law. You'll be behind bars so long, you'll never be in the arms of your woman ever.

**Will Schuester: **Why did I went online? I always tell myself to never online but I still do...why?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **BECAUSE FACEBOOK IS AWESOME!

**Artie Abrams: **Say it girlfriend!

**Finn Hudson: **HEY! She's MINE!

**Quinn Fabray: ***glares* Artie, we need to talk.

**Finn Hudson: **Uh oh...you're dead dude...

**Artie Abrams: **What the Manwhoring Schuester...

* * *

><p>Three nights in a row, Thad stayed in Kit's dorm room. He didn't go to his classes at Dalton. Heck, he didn't even go to the Warbler meetings. He was sure Wes would kill him for being absent the next time he sees him. He haven't seen any of his friends for the pass three days and it was only because of one woman.<p>

Kitalene.

Thad didn't know why something has suddenly shifted between him and Kit but he knew there must be a reason to it. Maybe it was because of last week. Last week, they've done the deed. It was a complete accident, both were tired and in bed and then suddenly lips were together and legs were parted and the whole things was history. Then Kit said she doesn't like Jordan and went to asking him why they were even friends in the first place. Thad protected Jordan to Kit but Kit somehow made up her mind and hates him.

Lying on Kit's bed, Thad stared at the ceiling, thinking of what the hell is happening in his life.

First, it was falling for Jordan, his best friend.

Second, it was having friends-with-benefits with Kit.

Third, giving up everything he does for Kit.

_What the hell is happening in my life? Why am I so fucked up? _Thad thought. If he was at Dalton right now, in his room, and asked Jordan of what he thought, Jordan would make sexual comment that would make Thad shake his head and laugh. That always made him stop over-thinking about things. Jordan always made everything better.

_Jordan._

Thad haven't heard from Jordan or any of the other Warblers. Last he heard, Klaine are missing. _Probably making gaybies..._

Still, he missed the Warblers and Jordan, most of all.

He lifted his head from Kit's pillow when he heard the door open and there, came in a tired Kitalene. She dropped her messenger bag to the floor and slowly closed the door. She turned to Thad and gave him a tired smile.

"Hey you," She said tiredly.

Thad nodded in response. "Hey, you look like shit, Kit."

Kit smiled wider. "Thanks a lot, you bastard." She said sarcastically, taking of the pony tail she wore and out came the red mane of hers. "What did you do while I was gone?" She asked, taking off her school shoes.

"Think." Thad said, bluntly.

"About?"

Thad looked at his hands, massaging them out of nervousness. He wanted to talk about this to Kit since yesterday but he didn't have the heart to ask. Now, he can't stall anymore. They needed to talk.

"About what we're doing here."

"What about what we're doing?" Kit asked, slowly unbuttoning her uniform in front of Thad, walking towards her bed.

"This," Thad pointed out, looking at her bed. "This is wrong, Kit. You're with someone and I told you beforehand that I'm trying to get over someone."

"Have you gotten over him?" Kit asked seriously, pulling off her blouse and letting it fall on the floor, exposing her breasts covered by an orange bra.

Thad sighed as he sat up and sat on the edge of Kit's bed, staring at Kit seriously. "That's not what I'm talking about, Kit. I'm talking about what the hell are we doing."

Kit didn't answer. Instead, she unzipped the zipper of her skirt and slowly shrugged it off her, revealing her orange panties in front of him. "I broke up with my boyfriend." She told him out of the blue as she crept towards his lap.

"What?" Thad asked, shocked, but Kit ignored him and jumped him, pining him down on her bed. She connected her lips to his and slowly moved her lips with his in synchronization, her tongue playing on his lips. Thad tried to stop kissing her back, he really did, but the feeling of pleasure washing over him is making him not think.

Using all of his strength, he flipped them and pinned Kit down with the use of his hand, the other slowly took of his white t-shirt and his pants. Kit immediately removed her panties and parted her legs to make things easier for Thad. Thad can't help but let his tongue wander Kit's long and elegant neck that he can say was his favorite part of Kit while Kit moaned beneath him, her hands making a mess of his hair, but something always happens whenever he and Kit would do the deed. It always happened no matter what. He would always lift his head up and stare at Kit's dishevelled form beneath him to make sure that Kit's okay with what his going to do, and he won't see Kit, but Jordan instead.

Kit's long red hair would be replaced by Jordan's short light brown hair. Kit's green eyes would be replaced with Jordan's brown ones. Kit's breasts would be replaced by Jordan's muscled and hair chest. Kit's panties would be replaced with Jordan's boxers. Kit underneath him would be replaced with Jordan underneath him. This always happened to him. And that made Thad turned on even more.

Pulling off his boxers and throwing it on the floor, Thad grabbed hold of Kit's shoulders as she grabbed placed her arms around Thad's neck, he plunged inside her. Kit's nails dugged right in Thad's skin and she buried her face on his shoulder as he rocked inside her. They never kissed that many times when they have sex because they want to make sex last longer. Sex wasn't for pleasure to them. They wanted to feel complete and connected to someone because the someone's they do love don't love them back.

As Kit was moaning beneath Thad, meeting his thrusts with her hips, Thad was again imagining Kit's moans as Jordan moaning beneath him. Thad can't help but think about Jordan. Jordan somehow ALWAYS crepts into his mind and he hated it. And loved it.

Because, truth be told, he wasn't over Jordan one bit.

It seems his love for Jordan has even grown deeper due to Kit.

Thad felt the heat slowly coiling in his stomach and before he knew, he was coming inside Kit. He tried so much not to moan Jordan's name, once he did and Kit hated him for that. As Thad cummed inside her, Kit let her head fall and she moaned Thad's name like she was born to do it.

They lay in her bed breathlessly, Thad slowly pulling out of her and rolled onto her side. Kit wrapped her arm around his chest and sighed contentedly. Again, Thad tried not to think of Jordan doing the exact same thing.

"You're not over him, are you?" Kit asked, her eyes still closed, still feeling the afterglow of sex.

Thad sighed, his hand playing with Kit's sweaty hair. "Yeah, I'm not."

"You broke up with him?" He added.

Kit nodded against Thad's shoulder, sighing again. "I told you he was cheating on me. He chose her over me." She explained.

"So...what does that mean?"

"It means I'm finally free of that stupid arrange marriage my parents thought off and I can finally be someone I want to be with."

Kit lifted her head a little to look at Thad's eyes, her hands both on his chest. "I want to be with you Thad." She said honestly.

Thad didn't meet her eyes. "I can't," He stated. "I told you, I'm not over him."

Kit, not someone who takes no for as an answer, stood up from the bed and started pacing with her blanket covering her body.

"WHAT THE HELL IS ABOUT HIM THAT YOU LOVE SO MUCH?" She angrily shouted at him. Thad sat up, knowing this was going to be a long fight between.

"HE IS STRAIGHT! GODDAMNIT THAD! DO YOU REALLY THINK HE WOULD GIVE UP SLEEPING WITH WOMEN TO BE WITH YOU?"

Thad didn't answer.

"YOU TELL ME HE SLEEPS WITH WOMEN. WOMEN! HE'S NOT GAY, THAD! HE'S NOT EVEN BI. HE IS JUST LIKE ANY STRAIGHT MAN WHO WANTS TO HAVE THE TIME OF HIS LIFE BY SLEEPING WITH NUMEROUS WOMEN."

Again, Thad still didn't answer.

Kit stopped pacing and simply stood in front of Thad. She grabbed hold of his hands. "Do you really he can love you? You told me he has never fallen in love with anyone. Ever. What makes you think he'll fall in love with a BOY, for that matter?"

This time, Thad looked up at Kit, but still remained silent.

"Thad," Kit said softly. "Face reality. You and Jordan is a too far of a dream. It's too hard to reach. I'm afraid you're leading yourself onto something that can't happen, no matter how much you want to."

That statement of Kit alone stuck into Thad's mind. _Reality. You and Jordan. A too far of a dream. _

"But I'm here," She pointed to herself and I want to be with you. How about take a chance on me and maybe learn to love me and get over him." She advised him.

Thad looked at her and she was smiling at him and looking at him with hopeful eyes.

Hard as it was for his heart, he needs to admit that Kitalene is right. He is living in reality.

And Jordan, His Jordan, is a far off dream that's too hard to reach.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens <strong>and **Kitalene Bates **are** in a relationship **

**David Thompson: **This is like Krent all over again...*facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: **Hey! :(

**David Thompson: **You know it's true.

**Wes Yang: **Montrosity 2.0. Thadlene. Ew...

**Aaron Houghston: **BOO! :(

**Jeff Jefferson **and **324 **other likes this

**Thad Stevens: **Hey! What the hell is with the negative comments?

**Kitalene Bates: **I thought the Warblers liked me Thad?

**Thad Stevens: **They do babe. Which is why I'm confused.

**Wes Yang: **You shouldn't be calling her babe. You should be calling someone else babe.

**Thad Stevens: **Who?

**Wes Yang: **You know who.

**Thad Stevens: **I don't what you are talking about.

**Kitalene Bates: **What is happening here?

**Santana Lopez: **Bitch, let me tell you.

**Kitalene Bates: **And who are you?

**Santana Lopez: **It doesn't matter who I 'am, fuckbitch. What does matter is the fact you are interfering with what looks to be the next Porcelain and Hobbit relationship and I will not stand to see it not happen because you, Ms. Fuckbitch.

**Kitalene Bates: **Porcelain and Hobbit relationship?

**Santana Lopez: **You don't who I'm talking about?

**Kitalene Bates: **...should I?

**Santana Lopez: **Have you been living in a rock? Have you just gone under surgery and the complication it has is lost of common sense? Are you not breathing the air of Lima filled with their stench of sexual tension that could make any woman pregnant without sex? Are you even from LIMA to not know about Porcelain and Hobbit? O_O My Grilled Cheesus! Damn you...Man boobs who dances like he's getting his prostate checked...

**Finn Hudson: **I. Hate. You.

**Santana Lopez: **The day you stop hating me is the day your dancing is safe for human eyes to witness and not get their corneas to burn out from their eye sockets.

**Kitalene Bates: **Thad, what is she talking about? Who are Porcelain and Hobbit?

**Thad Stevens: **...are you really living under a rock to know Porcelain and Hobbit?

**Kitalene Bates: **Did you just insult your GIRLFRIEND, Thad?

**Thad Stevens: **Eh...no...Porcelain and Hobbit are Kurt and Blaine.

**Kitalene Bates: **Oh...so what's the big deal about them?

**Wes Yang: **O_O I think I'm getting another heart attack...

**David Thompson: **I hope it ends you so that you can be with Mr. Bang-Bang...

**Wes Yang: **Maria Osawa masturbating bastard.

**David Thompson: **Mr. Bang-Bang masturbating bastard. :P

**Santana Lopez: **I'm telling you, little Ms. Fuckbitch, end things with Thad or face the wrath of the Queen Bitch of Lima Heights. I assure you, you'll die very tragically. More tragic than the star-crossed lovers' death will ever be.

**Aaron Houghston: **Luke Skywalker and Spock?

**Santana Lopez: **No you worms-for-brains, Romeo and Juliet.

**Aaron Houghston: **...I don't know who those two are...

**Santana Lopez: **Doesn't the Capulets and Montagues ring any bells in your mind?

**Aaron Houghston: **There are bells in my mind? COOL! :) I want wedding bells! I love listening to wedding bells.

**Santana Lopez: **You're stupider than Man boobs himself.

**Finn Hudson: ***prepares a shotgun to shoot at Satan*

**Santana Lopez: ***prepares her razor sharp tongue to fire insults that would make him crumble into a fetal position*

**Finn Hudson: ***hides because of shame*

**Santana Lopez: **Not only has boobs but also runs away like a girl. Poor poor you, you don't even get the right to be called a man.

**Aaron Houghston: **Wait...isn't Finn a boy?

**Santana Lopez: ***ignoring him* Kitalene, you better not mess with my next Klaine, you hear me?

**Kitalene Bates: **I have no idea what the hell is happening here. I'm leaving. *signs off*

**Thad Stevens: **Santana, what the hell was that?

**Santana Lopez: **A simple promotion by Auntie Tana.

**Thad Stevens: **What the hell are you talking about?

**Santana Lopez: **I'm on Team JT!

**Wes Yang: **Me too! Team JT!

**David Thompson: **Me too! Team Klaine and JT 4 ever!

**Thad Stevens: **You guys are really weird. Weirder than Lindsay Lohan's mother...I'm out *signs off*

**Aaron Houghston: **Does that Team JT mean Team Justin Timberlake?

**Wes Yang: **No, it means Team Jorthad! :)

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh...I 'am so in that team. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Another chapter has ended. I always feel so sad when a chapter ends but then happy again because I get to write a new one.

Summary:

Basically, this was a Jorthad and Neff chapter. New Directions was only a few tidbits. I'm sorry about that. A lot of you guys say you love Jorthad as much as you love Klaine so I made them the major couple in this chapter.

**Favorite Part: **

_David and Wes's fight. It never fails to crack me up._

_and_

_Jordan's intro. It made me feel so depress..._

**Favorite Quote and Quoter: **

**Wes Yang: **

All is Klaine and nothing hurts.

and

**Wes Yang:**

Awww...Aaron, don't worry. As long as Klaine are together, everything in the world is perfect.

I believe in this quotes

I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't so funny because my intention was to put a lot of drama in it. I hope I didn't screw up.

**Now here is what I want you guys to do for me:**

_REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT FAVORITE PART AND QUOTE YOU LOVED._

_AND_

_ARE YOU NEFF OR TRECK? JORTHAD OR THADLENE? WEVID OR WENG-WENG?_

**Thanks for loving my poem. I suck at poems but somehow when Klaine's involve, I make the most awesome poems. I bet all of your asses right now, you're all pissed off because Glee is in a hiatus for a week because of X-Factor...I know I 'am. **

**No poem here sadly. No spoilers either. Wait and you shall see. I'll try so much to update next week. Love you guys**

**Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook. Upnext: Klaine, Saminake, and Treff! **

* * *

><p><strong>All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows<strong>


	21. Klaine obsessed, Kit's Devil, & Samike

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry you guys for not updating on December. I figured, since you are all busy with the holidays that I should postpone updating. Still, it's January 4. I think it's safe already. **

**Still, I apologize for the VERY late update. Hope you guys forgive me... :(**

**Oh my Klaine...from 484...the reviews are now 545? Seriously? How nice are you guys! This is the best Christmas and New Year's gift in the world! :) **

**Warning: Rated M for swearing and talks about sex organs and sexual actions and sexual references.**

**Theme: K.I.E.B and Mr. Bang-Bang goodness. **

**Acknowledgment: BTW, OMK! Thank you all for the reviews last chapter! I was so shocked with what I got! 545 reviews! I cannot believe it! I feel like a proud mother for this fanfic! Special thanks to klainelovinganon ****or being my 500th reviewer; Nenalove03**** who made me smile with her review in the last chapter; and Full-Empty-Spirit**** for giving the best Santana speech in the last chapter and in this chapter. Thank you to all three of you so much!**

**Also to ****KurtCoBlaine's son Toronto** **who surprised me by reviewing in all 20 chapters of this fanfic, Brandon, you are very sweet to do that. What a man. Also, your comments made me LOL to the point of no return. Thank you for reading this story and reviewing. **

**And to all of you, my readers, I have no idea why you love this insane story but I'm glad you all do. **

**Now another dose of WTTWOGF, served up by me! :)**

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to say it? **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-One:<strong>

**Klaine obsessed, Kit's Devil, and Text Me Back!**

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>I'm in heaps of trouble! They are going to kill me!

**David Thompson: ***Porn facepalm* what did you do this time, Wesley? Did you hack the school's WIFI again to watch free porn?

**Wes Yang: **FYI, YOU are the one who does that.

**David Thompson: **Oh yeah I forgot that...

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm*

**Jeff Jefferson: **Who are the one's who's going to kill you?

**Nick Connors: **I think what Jeff means to say is, who should we thank with that joyous gift to mankind since Christ himself?

**Jeff Jefferson: **I didn't mean that.

**Nick Connors: **Well I do. Who should I thank?

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you, Nicholas.

**Nick Connors: **Not in your life, Wesley. :P

**Aaron Houghston: **Killing is bad! :(

**David Thompson: **Not if the person you're going to kill is someone who bangs his gavel.

**Aaron Houghston: **Does that mean judges can be killed because they bang their gavels? *insert innocent look*

**David Thompson: ***Porn facepalm* I was talking about Wesley...

**Aaron Houghston: **But you said someone who bangs his gavel? Judges bang their gavels?

**Jordan McClaine: **Judges bang their gavels? THAT sounds so WRONG in so many ways...

**David Thompson: ***Double porn facepalm* **Jordan McClaine **that sounds so wrong. **Aaron Houghston**, forget what I just said. It's easier that way.

**Aaron Houghston: **Who are you again? O_O

**David Thompson: ***Triple porn facepalm* Why do I even bother?

**Trent Nicholson: **I think I know what happened. You went into the girl's bathroom, didn't you? And became the secret pervert that you are...except it's not a secret...

**Santana Lopez: **Wesley? You're a pervert? O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **All the Warblers are, Satan.

**Santana Lopez: **Perverts are hot. ;D

**David Thompson: **Not all of us are perverts...

**Trent Nicholson: **Bitch please! You're the biggest pervert of us all.

**David Thompson: **Just because I watch porn doesn't mean I'm a pervert.

**Trent Nicholson: **Watching Porn DOES make you a pervert.

**David Thompson: **No it doesn't.

**Trent Nicholson: **Yes it does.

**David Thompson: **No it doesn't.

**Trent Nicholson: **Yes it does.

**David Thompson: **No it doesn't.

**Trent Nicholson: **Yes it does.

**David Thompson: **No it doesn't.

**Trent Nicholson: **Yes it does.

**David Thompson: **No it doesn't.

**Trent Nicholson: **Yes it does.

**Santana Lopez: **Yes it does Chocolate.

**David Thompson: **HEY! Only Tater Tots can call me that!

**Santana Lopez: **Seriously? You've been dating of how many months and you STILL call her Tater Tots? How about Quadruple XL chick?

**David Thompson: **...shut the fuck up, you satanic devil from hell. NEVER CALL MY TATER TOTS THAT!

**Santana Lopez: ***insert devil smirk* I love the new nickname.

**Aaron Houghston: **Wait, I'm confused.

**Jordan McClaine: **Understatement of the century.

**Jeff Jefferson **and **34 **others likes this

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O what's a century?

**Jordan McClaine: ***Fuck facepalm* It means a hundred years.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O You can count to a handreid? How cool is that!

**David Thompson: **Why are you confused, Aaron?

**Jordan McClaine: **That's been our question about him for years and the answer has yet to be determined.

**Aaron Houghston: **I thought Dalton Academy is an all boy school?

**David Thompson: **It is

**Nick Connors: **Although the male population here is mostly composed of gay men.

**David Thompson: **Not all of us

**Trent Nicholson: **Bitch please, you're one of us, you're just in the closet.

**Jordan McClaine, Nick Connors, **and **43 **others likes this

**Aaron Houghston: **Wait, I thought we're all in the commons room except for Wes? What's with the closet?

**Trent Nicholson: ***Gay facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: **I'm still confused.

**Jordan McClaine: **We all are when it comes to you.

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't get what you mean but anyway, if Dalton is an all boy school, why are there girl bathrooms?

**David Thompson: **...

**Jordan McClaine: **... I hate to admit this, but he has a point...why are there girl bathrooms? It's not like there are hermaphrodites here who has two junks.

**Aaron Houghston: **Two junks? What do you mean?

**Jordan McClaine: **It means the person has a penis and a vagina.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O people can have that!

**Jordan McClaine: **Of course they can...just ask Lady Gaga

**Aaron Houghston: ***insert mouth hanging in agape*

**Trent Nicholson: **My brister is so going to murder you for that, **Jordan McClaine**.

**Jordan McClaine: **Okay, that would leave him quiet for awhile. It'll save our sanities. Anyway, can someone give an explanation to WHY are there girl bathrooms here in an all boy school?

**Trent Nicholson: **Elementary my dear JMC, it is because are girl teachers here and they are the ones who uses those bathrooms. Also, N here pointed out that the male population here are mostly gays, we gays like going to the girl's bathroom more than the boy's. The girl's bathroom doesn't smell like the boy's.

**Nick Connors: **O_O They're teachers here? That surprised me like the video of "Mistletoe" of JB.

**Jordan McClaine, David Thompson, **and **42 **others likes this

**Trent Nicholson: **Everyone was surprised with the "Mistletoe" video because it sucked.

**Jordan McClaine, Wes Yang, **and **34 **others likes this

**onnors: **Fuck you, Trent.

**Trent Nicholson: **:)

**David Thompson: **It seems like they are no teachers here.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I know right? It seems like all we do is Facebook and do Warbler stuff.

**Trent Nicholson **and **54 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **Hey guys! I think we're forgetting what Wes said in the first place.

**Aaron Houghston: **Wes won first place? Congratulations Wesley! Whatever you did.

**David Thompson: ***Porn facepalm* NO! I mean, what did Wesley do? What DID you do Wesley?

**Wes Yang: **I...I sort of went inside their private place and stole something precious to them.

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O 100x

**Nick Connors: **O_o

**Jeff Jefferson: **0_0

**Aaron Houghston: **What's with all the O's and the underscores?

**David Thompson: **O_O WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO MAN!

**Wes Yang: **I Know Right! They are going to kill me!

**David Thompson: **The hell they are. Those girls' parents SHOULD MURDER YOU for what you did.

**Wes Yang: **Girls' parents? What the hell are you talking about, man?

**David Thompson: **Dude, you had sex with girls and stole their virginities that would lead to your death. That only points to one thing. You are a certified...PEDOBEAR! How could you steal young children's virginities?

**Wes Yang: **I didn't steal anyone's virginity! I don't even sleep around anymore...since I'm exclusive to Satan.

**Santana Lopez: **That Asian stick and ball are mine, Chocolate and no one elses. Take them and feel the wrath of the satanic devil from hell!

**Wes Yang: **Are you high on lubricant or something, David? What the hell are you thinking about what I wrote?

**David Thompson: **You said you went inside their private place...which means you went inside their private parts...and stole something precious to them...which means you stole their virginities.

**Wes Yang: **...THAT IS SO FAR FROM WHAT I MEANT TO! I don't steal young girls' virginities! I have a six year old sister for Bang-Bang's sake!

**David Thompson: **LIKE THIS IF YOU THOUGHT EXACTLY HOW I THOUGHT!

**Jordan McClaine, Trent Nicholson, **and **435 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **YOU ALL HAVE PERVERTED MINDS AND LOVE THE COLOR GREEN!

**Aaron Houghston: **I love the color Green! :) It's the color of my eyes! And of trees and life! :D

**Wes Yang: ***Asian facepalm* What I mean with what I said is that I went to their private place...which means...Kurt and Blaine's rooms...and stole something precious to them...which means Kurt's poster of Darren Criss as Harry Potter in AVPM and Blaine's framed picture of Kurt during his performance of Single Ladies. They are both important to them since those are the pictures Kurt and Blaine masturbate to back when they weren't together. Do you guys get it now?

**Jordan McClaine: **Wes, I'm saying this because I think I 'am your friend regardless of the times we fought over the satanic devil from hell or the times when we fight on who's hotter in the Warblers you or me or the times when I placed a video cam in your room to record your sex session and get my own personal porn and might even post it on and make you a porn star...I'm getting off the subject here...

**David Thompson: **TMI^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I think what Jordan wants to say is that, YOU ARE A NUT JOB!

**Aaron Houghston: **Nuts have jobs? O_O What do they do? Give nutty advice or file nut paperwork?

**Jordan McClaine: **is going to lose his mind because of **Aaron Houghston** without orgasm involve.

**Trent Nicholson: **Way to make everything dirty, JMC.

**Jordan McClaine: **If being dirty is a job, that would be my job. The Dirty Officer.

**Aaron Houghston: **Can I apply to that job? I have no money left. Only sex dollars.

**David Thompson: ***Porn facepalm* DUDES! WOULD ALL OF YOU STOP THINKING OF YOUR OTHER BUSINESS AND THINK OF WES'S SANITY? HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HE DONE?

**Trent Nicholson: **Awww...D is worried but his soul mate's sanity. You and W are meant to be together.

**David Thompson: ***insert a middle finger pointed to Trent* Go masturbate to Joey Ritcher, you bastard!

**Trent Nicholson: **I WILL!

**Jordan McClaine: **So what if Wes stole pictures of Kurt and Blaine? He'll only use them for his masturbation ritual. That's like only lasts for five minutes or less. Depending on how horny Wes is.

**Wes Yang: **I'm NOT going to use those pictures to fool with myself!

**Jordan McClaine: **Well then if you're not using them, can I borrow them?

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Aaron Houghston: **Is the O's and underscores a game? I want to play! O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_OO_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_OO_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_OO_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

I WIN! :)

**Wes Yang: **...THERE MINE! GET YOUR OWN PICTURES OF KLAINE!

**Jordan McClaine: **Share your blessings, Wesley!

**David Thompson: **WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH BOTH OF YOU!

**Jordan McClaine: **What? No masturbation can beat Klaine masturbation. :)

**David Thompson: ***Porn Facepalm* I'm getting another Warbler headache.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O What's a Warbler headache?

**David Thompson: **It's the headache you get from too much exposure to the insanity of the Warblers.

**Aaron Houghston: **...what's exposure?

**David Thompson: **has a Warbler headache and it's majorly caused by **Aaron Houghston **and **Wes Yang** .

**Wes Yang: **David,I'm just an Asian teenager who is borderline-crazy obsessed with his deceased and in heaven banging gavel, chatting with you and the Warblers who too have problems to be friends with a crazy man like me, asking them to help a man to find two guys sickeningly and teeth-rotteningly in love and currently making the Klaine babies that was promised to mankind which would be superior overlords of the world and save us from Armageddon.

**David Thompson: **O_O Dude...did you just paraphrase 'Notting Hill' in the weirdest way possible?

**Trent Nicholson: **You watch 'Notting Hill'? That seriously gay and that is coming from a gay man like me.

**Santana Lopez: **is severely turned on because her Asian watches Chick Flicks.

**Wes Yang: **I regret nothing. Julia Roberts is one smokin' American woman.

**Santana Lopez: ***insert bitch glare* Ehem...

**Wes Yang: **Your bitch smoking, Satan.

**Santana Lopez: **Thank you.

**David Thompson: **He is a man with a screw loose in his head yet he still gets laid.

**Jordan McClaine: **You're the only one here who has a girlfriend and DOESN'T GET LAID.

**David Thompson: **SHUT UP JORDAN!

**Wes Yang: **misses Kurt and Blaine.

**David Thompson: **GET A LIFE!

**Wes Yang: **I do have a life. Its name is Klaine! Or Blurt! Or Kurt Coblaine! :) I need to find them! You guys need to help me!

* * *

><p><strong>Mike Chang <strong>to **Sam Evans: **You know what to do, right?

**Sam Evans: **No

**Mike Chang: **Why not?

**Sam Evans: **YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING!

**Mike Chang: **Dude, didn't you get my text?

**Sam Evans: **No,

**Mike Chang: **Fine. I'll text it to you. Wait a moment.

**Sam Evans: **One Mississippi. Two Mississippis. Three Mississippis. Four Mississippis. Five Mississippis. OH! I got your text!

**Mike Chang: **Okay read it.

**Mike Chang: **Have you read it?

**Sam Evans: **No.

**Mike Chang: **Why the Asian not? Don't you know how to read?

**Sam Evans: **Of course I know how to read. It's just that I don't know how to read Chinese.

**Mike Chang: **Why do you need to read Chinese?

**Sam Evans: **Because you sent me a Chinese text!

**Mike Chang: **...oopps...

**Sam Evans: **Ooppss indeed. Now text me an English one! Or at least in Na'vi.

**Mike Chang:** But I don't speak Na'vi.

**Sam Evans: **Then you are not an enlightened soul. Plus, girls like Na'vi.

**Mike Chang: **O_O They do?

**Sam Evans: **Yeah! It always works when I use it.

**Mike Chang: **Teach me sometime!

**Sam Evans: **Sure, after getting Tina back.

**Mike Chang: **Did you get my text?

**Sam Evans: **Yup! Thank Grilled Cheesus...damn Finn...and it's finally in English.

**Mike Chang: **Have you read it?

**Sam Evans: **Yeah

**Mike Chang: **Have you finished reading it?

**Sam Evans: **Yeah

**Mike Chang: **...then why haven't you texted me back?

**Sam Evans: **What?

**Mike Chang: **That's the Asian rule!

**Sam Evans: **What Asian rule?

**Mike Chang: **Oh my Asian God! You don't know the Asian rule?

**Sam Evans: **...is that like...a ruler only Asians can use?

**Mike Chang: **THAT IS RACISM!

**Sam Evans: **O_O Oh Grilled Cheesus...again damn Finn...I'm sorry I didn't mean to...I don't know what the hell is the Asian rule.

**Mike Chang: **It's Asian elementary, Samuel.

**Sam Evans: **Don't call me that! :(

**Mike Chang: **The Asian rule: When someone texts you, text back. Short and simple Trouty Mouth.

**Sam Evans: **DON'T CALL ME THAT EITHER! Anyway, what's the use of texting you when we can chat on FB?

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Sam Evans: **No! It's a waste of load.

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Sam Evans: **No.

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Sam Evans: **BBCA! :)

**Mike Chang: **What the hell does that mean?

**Sam Evans: **Bye Bye Crazy Asian!

**Mike Chang: **That is RACISM!

**Sam Evans: **And you are a Mouthist.

**Mike Chang: **What the hell is that?

**Sam Evans: **Racism of mouths.

**Mike Chang: **What the hell! Can't you just text me back?

**Sam Evans: **:P

**Mike Chang: **Trouty Mouth

**Sam Evans: **Mouthism! :(

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>is scared that Kurt and Blaine will kill him.

**Jordan McClaine: **Finish masturbating to Klaine?

**Wes Yang: **I'm not masturbating.

**Jordan McClaine: **Right...*insert sarcasm* and I'm not the hottest man in the Warblers but...I 'am.

**Wes Yang: **Lying to yourself again, Jordan?

**Jordan McClaine: **Since when did I lie to myself?

**Wes Yang: **The second is that you are the hottest when the real hottest man in the Warblers is Blaine.

**Jordan McClaine: **...you really are gay, aren't you?

**Wes Yang: **Like this if you think **Blaine Anderson **is the hottest man in the Warblers.

**Mercedes Jones, Thad Stevens, **and **954,545 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **WOAH! O_O Did not know that THAT many people know the Warblers.

**Wes Yang: **Neither did I.

**Jordan McClaine: **Weird. Hey, what's the other thing I'm lying to myself about?

**Wes Yang: **I think you know

**Jordan McClaine: **No. No, I don't.

**Wes Yang: **You do

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't

**Wes Yang: **You do

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't

**Wes Yang: **You do

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't

**Wes Yang: **You do

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't

**Wes Yang: **You do

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't

**Wes Yang: **You do

**Jordan McClaine: **I don't

**Wes Yang: **I have a six year old sister, Jordan. I can do this all day.

**Jordan McClaine: **I really don't know what the hell you are talking about Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **I'll give you a hint. It's the reason why you hate the half of Klaine so much?

**Jordan McClaine: **...I still don't get what the hell are you talking about Wes.

**Wes Yang: **Kurt = half of Klaine ; Blaine = other half of Klaine . Get it now?

**Jordan McClaine: **Oh I get it. I get that you have not only a Mr. Bang-Bang obsession but a Klaine obsession as well. Also, how'd you know I hate Kurt?

**Wes Yang: **Kurt told me.

**Jordan McClaine: **Damn Kurt...

**Wes Yang: **Hey! Don't talk like that with Blaine's soul mate.

**Jordan McClaine: **Wes, you really have a huge problem.

**Wes Yang: **I'm just really worried where they are.

**Jordan McClaine: **Don't worry. You've said so yourself. They're probably making the Klaine babies mankind needs.

**Wes Yang: **I sure hope so. Let's pray for that.

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang <strong>to **Mercedes Jones: **Hello Tater Tots, can I ask you something?

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh, hell to the no! You did not call me 'Tater Tots'! Only my Dark Chocolate man can do that! You have no right to call me that! We aren't dating.

**Wes Yang: **Well, Mercedes, if it is any consolation prize, it would be better if you are dating me instead of a porn addict like David.

**Mercedes Jones: **Bitch please! I would rather date a porn addict than a gavel addict like you. Plus, you're one weird Asian.

**Wes Yang: **RACISM!

**Mercedes Jones: **I speak the truth and you ain't sane, Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **I have no idea whatsoever what David sees in you.

**Mercedes Jones: **I also have no idea why my Dark Chocolate's friends with you.

**Wes Yang: **He has good taste with friends. Not so much with girl friends.

**Mercedes Jones: **YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID OR BE BITCH SLAPPED TO THE NEXT OBLIVION!

**Wes Yang: **Bring it on, Quadruple XL chick!

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>has just been slapped hard in the face by his best friend but not anymore, **David Thompson**

**David Thompson: **Insult my girlfriend again and prepare for your junk to be ripped apart from your body.

**Mercedes Jones: **Is it weird that I'm severely turned on by the idea of my boyfriend ripping someone's penis?

**Jordan McClaine: **No since those two are gay. That idea is definitely hot! :)

**Mercedes Jones: **O_O Are you gay?

**Jordan McClaine: **Why does people keep asking me that?

**David Thompson: **Because it's true.

**Jordan McClaine: **Same goes to you.

**Mercedes Jones: **THAT IS NOT TRUE! MY boyfriend is straight as a pole.

**Wes Yang: **I hope someday Mercedes that you see the light.

**Mercedes Jones: **And I hope that someday you become a normal man who's not addicted to a gavel.

**Jordan McClaine: **And Kurt and Blaine.

**Mercedes Jones: **You're addicted to Kurt and Blaine too? You Asian needs help right NOW!

**David Thompson: **All of us thinks like that, babe. He needs help badly.

**Jordan McClaine: **He's been more addicted to Kurt and Blaine ever since they FINALLY got together.

**Mercedes Jones: **O_O Hold the fuck up. MY BOY AND HIS BOY ARE TOGETHER?

**Jordan McClaine: **Yeah, for like four days now. Why?

**Mercedes Jones: **WHY THE HELL DID I JUST FIND OUT NOW! **David Thompson **, explain yourself!

**David Thompson: **You never asked, Tater Tots. And besides, I DO NOT HAVE A KLAINE OBSESSION. Plus, it was all over Facebook. Wesley made sure of it. If he could rent a blimp, he would have flown in it and announced all throughout Ohio that Klaine are finally together.

**Mercedes Jones: **is angry at her boyfriend and just for that, they won't have their planned date tonight.

**David Thompson: **But baby! You said we're going to second base tonight? You promised!

**Mercedes Jones: **Not tonight.

**David Thompson: ***insert in a very pathetic tone* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Jordan McClaine: **Dude, you're being like that over a cancelled second base night? You are totally WHIPPED by this girl.

**David Thompson: **Shut the fuck up, Jordan! :(

**Wes Yang: **It's true, David.

**David Thompson: **Oh please, like you are not WHIPPED over Klaine. Damn Kurt and Blaine! They ALWAYS mess up my sex life!

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O You have a sex life? O_O

**Wes Yang: ***insert middle finger pointed to David* THOU SHALL NOT USE THE COUPLE NAME OF KLAINE IN VAIN!

**David Thompson: **BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!

**Wes Yang: ***Gasp*

**Jordan McClaine: **I think Wesley had a Klaine-related stroke...again... I'm calling the nurse.

**Nick Connors: **Please don't. Just let him die so that we Warblers can finally be at peace!

**Jordan McClaine: **The only time the Warblers will be at peace is when Justin Bieber dies.

**Nick Connors: **Go to hell, **Jordan McClaine** .

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones: <strong>NEW DIRECTIONS! I HAVE NEWS! NEWS THAT WOULD SHOCK YOU TO YOUR DEEPEST CORE!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What's our deepest core? Is that our vaginas? I don't want my vagina to be shocked! *insert scared face*

**Mercedes Jones: ***Tater tot facepalm*

**Noah Puckerman, Tina Cohen-Chang, **and **10 **others likes this

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **What's the news, Mercedes?

**Rachel Berry: **Is it about me getting the lead role in Wicked? Because I've been waiting for that news for a very long time.

**Santana Lopez: **wants someone to stop her from coming to Man hand's house and killing her in her sleep with my vicious razors and sharp like a knife tongue.

**Noah Puckerman: **Dare do that Satan and I'll kick you so hard in your female part, you won't be able to have sex again! Sucks for you!

**Wes Yang: **Do that and I'll cut off your Mohawk!

**Noah Puckerman: **You. Wouldn't. Dare. *insert scary glare*

**Wes Yang: **I would. ..I'm crazy.

**Mercedes Jones: **I believe you.

**Jordan McClaine, Finn Hudson, **and **978 **others likes this

**Mercedes Jones: **Anyway, before Noah, Santana, and Crazy fight, I'd just like to tell all of you that...

**Finn Hudson: **That what?

**Quinn Fabray: **Mercedes, please don't prolong the anticipation!

**Artie Abrams: **^True that^ Papa needs to know what happened or he'll go crazy like Crazy does.

**Wes Yang: **Stop calling me Crazy!

**Artie Abrams: **As five years olds once said, "nu'ah"!

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, you're quoting five year olds now?

**Artie Abrams: **Got a problem with that, sweaty man nipples on man boobs filled with fudge?

**Wes Yang, Santana Lopez, **and **243 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **Love the new nick name for Man boobs, Wheels.

**Rachel Berry, Brittany S. Pierce, **and **432 **others likes this

**Artie Abrams: **Thanks Satan! My mind always surprises me with what nick name it thinks off.

**Finn Hudson: **I hate all of the people who liked Satan and Meanie Artie. :(

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Even me? *insert the most adorable pout you can think off*

**Finn Hudson: **Well, if you make it up to me, you won't.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **You. Me. Lord Tubbington. House. Now.

**Finn Hudson: ***Sweaty Man Nipples On Man Boobs Filled With Fudge facepalm* Not with the cat again...*goes offline*

**Noah Puckerman: **You are so whipped man.

**Finn Hudson: **SHUT UP! Or I'll help Crazy cut your Mohawk.

**Wes Yang: **Stop calling me crazy!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Mercedes, what's the news? I'm dying of Asian curiosity here!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **People can die from Asian curiosity? Poor Asians...

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Since I love Britt, I won't think she's racist.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **loves **Tina Cohen-Chang **too. :)

**Santana Lopez: **Quadruple XL chick, tell us what's the news!

**Mercedes Jones: **If you promise never to call me that again Santana, I will.

**Santana Lopez: **I promise. *insert fingers crossed behind her back*

**Mercedes Jones: **Bitch...

**Santana Lopez: **:)

**Mercedes Jones: **Fine, the news is that Kurt and Blaine are FINALLY after how many months of sexual tension and masturbations, they're FINALLY...TOGETHER!

* * *

><p><strong>(After ten minutes of no response)<strong>

**Mercedes Jones: **Uh guys? Are you still alive? Or the idea of Klaine finally getting together gave you a heart attack? Caused that happened before...aka Crazy.

**Wes Yang: **STOP CALLING ME CRAZY! And the only reason why I got a heart attack was because I'm so happy they are FINALLY together. Plus, I care about them since they are my friends.

**Jordan McClaine: **Also, they are your masturbatory dreams.

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, Jordan aka _ -sexual.

**Jordan McClaine: **Don't you dare.

**Wes Yang: **Didn't I told you before I do dare...I'm crazy...

**Jordan McClaine: **Oh I believe that. Especially the part where you say you're crazy.

**Mercedes Jones: **Can anyone other than these two insane Warblers comment?

**Rachel Berry: **I'm sorry. I think I just died and went to Klaine heaven.

**Quinn Fabray, Noah Puckerman, **and **54 **others likes this

**Santana Lopez: **I hate to agree with Man hands...I seriously HATE to agree with Man hands but...I died and went to Klaine heaven too. Plus, now the Klaine sex tape I've always wanted can happen.

**Jordan McClaine: **IKR? Can we share it, Satan?

**Santana Lopez: **Of course, if Pear hips and Frodo ever make one, we'll share.

**Jordan McClaine: **loves **Santana Lopez**

**Wes Yang: **HEY! Get your love off my bitch!

**Santana Lopez: **is turned on by her Asian's protectiveness.

**Jordan McClaine: **Bitch, you're crazy to get turned on from a Crazy Asian.

**Santana Lopez: **Bitch please, you get turned on by Klaine.

**Jordan McClaine: **I regret nothing.

**Noah Puckerman: **HELL YEAH! I'm happy for Kurt! Finally he can GET SOME from his man candy.

**Artie Abrams: **True that Big Puckerman!

**Quinn Fabray: **hopes that Kurt and Blaine are using protection.

**Rachel Berry: **Oh please, it's not like they can get each other pregnant.

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O Men can't get pregnant?

**Artie Abrams: **Dude! WTF! Are you like sweaty man nipples on man boobs filled with fudge 2.0? Of course men can't get pregnant?

**Noah Puckerman: **Then why is P!nk pregnant?

**Artie Abrams: **Because she's a woman!

**Noah Puckerman: **did not know this.

**Artie Abrams: ***Facepalm* Berry, why are you dating this man?

**Rachel Berry: **Because I love him and he has a gigantic dick unlike yours.

**Quinn Fabray: **As my boyfriend would say..."oh snap"

**Artie Abrams: **Hey mama! Shouldn't you protect me?

**Quinn Fabray: **I thought you're cool enough to protect yourself?

**Artie Abrams: **I want my MAMA!

**Quinn Fabray: ***rolls eyes* Rach, my papa has as just as big of a dick as your boyfriend.

**Santana Lopez: **^That sounds so wrong in so many ways, I don't even one to think one.^

**Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, **and **43 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **I think it was hot.

**Wes Yang: **O_O You have a huge problem, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: **So do you and your obsession with Klaine.

**Mercedes Jones: **You know, I just noticed that Britt didn't comment.

**Wes Yang: **I think she's busy with her threesome with her cat and Finn.

**Noah Puckerman:** Again, Finn is so totally whipped.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Hey! I'm not busy!

**Noah Puckerman: **Wait? I thought you and Finn and Lord Tubbington are doing it.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Just Finn and Lord Tubbington at the moment. I wanted to say something.

**Wes Yang: **^That image is not leaving my mind anytime soon^

**Jordan McClaine: **Look at Kurt's picture in Single Ladies, it will.

**Wes Yang: **Thanks for the tip! :)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **hopes that her Dolphin and his Dolphin stay together for a very long time and marry someday.

**Wes Yang: **I'm counting on it. I'm so helping Kurt plan their wedding.

**Jordan McClaine: **^Klaine obsessed Asian gavel addict^

**Santana Lopez, David Thompson, Mercedes Jones, **and **944 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Stop making up nick names for me!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **also hopes to be the godmother of the dolphin babies of her Dolphin and his Dolphin.

**Wes Yang: **If Britt becomes godmother, I want to be godfather!

**Jordan McClaine: **No one in their right mind, not even Kurt and Blaine, would trust you to take care of their child after they die. No one.

**Wes Yang: **Fuck you, Jordan aka _ - sexual.

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert angry glare* stop calling me that, oh so help me, you'll never see those pictures of Klaine EVER again.

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**Mercedes Jones: **What the hell did my boy and his boy did to you Warblers? You're all nuts!

**Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry, **and **900 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **NUTS FOR KLAINE! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>BTW guys, does anyone of you know where Klaine is?

**Mercedes Jones: **Crazy, the New Directions just found out that Klaine are TOGETHER. Of course, we have no idea where they are.

**Wes Yang: **You don't need to be bitchy, bitch.

**Mercedes Jones: ***insert middle finger pointed to Crazy*

**Wes Yang: **Bitch.

**Santana Lopez: **I thought I was your bitch? :(

**Wes Yang: **You are and will always be... BTW, do you might have any idea where Klaine?

**Santana Lopez: **I hope there in my bed because I'm dying to have a threesome with Porcelain and his hunk of a boyfriend.

**Wes Yang: **You think Blaine's a hunk?

**Santana Lopez: **Definitely ;)

**Wes Yang: **...what about me?

**Santana Lopez: **You're my Asian hunk.

**Wes Yang: **:)

**Rachel Berry: **Maybe Kurt and Blaine are watching a performance of Aural Intensity.

**Wes Yang: **Only you want to do that, Rachel.

**Rachel Berry: **Maybe Klaine wants to do that for the team.

**Wes Yang: **Bitch please, Kurt sucks at spying and as far as I know, Blaine wants to suck Kurt so watching or spying on a performance is definitely not on top of their list.

**Rachel Berry: **:P If I were them, I would do just that.

**Quinn Fabray: **Maybe there on a date and they don't want anyone to know.

**Artie Abrams: **Why won't they want anyone to know?

**Jordan McClaine: **Because I'm very sure everyone would spy on their date. Right guys?

**Trent Nicholson, Brittany S. Pierce, **and **234 **others likes this

**Aaron Houghston: **likes to spy on Klaine.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **does too. :)

**Noah Puckerman: **Look Crazy...

**Wes Yang: **STOP CALLING ME CRAZY!

**Noah Puckerman: **Whatever, Crazy. The point of it all is that we all know where Kurt and his boy toy are.

**Wes Yang: ***insert crazy look* WHERE!

**Noah Puckerman: **...GETTING SOME...

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert crazy look* WHERE!

**Noah Puckerman: **...I don't know. All I know is that they're getting some. :)

**Wes Yang: ***Facepalm* I need to know where they are.

**Rachel Berry: **You are really Klaine obsessed.

**Jordan McClaine: ***points at Wes* Haha! *insert mocking tone*

**Mercedes Jones: **and so are you, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: **I 'am not KLAINE OBSESSED!

**Santana Lopez: **And I'm not a bitch...but I 'am!

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine <strong>posted a **note **titled **10 places where Klaine could be to stop Wes from making the Warblers, New Directions, and me in particular CRAZY! **

**David Thompson: ***Porn facepalm* Oh Gawd! Not you too, Jordan, the world can only handle one Klaine obsessed man.

**Jordan McClaine: **How many times do I need to tell all of you? I'm not obsessed with Klaine!

**Trent Nicholson: **I've read your note, JMC, and let me tell you. You are certainly Klaine obsessed.

**Jordan McClaine: **I 'am not!

**Trent Nicholson: **You are so!

**Jordan McClaine: **I 'am not!

**Trent Nicholson: **You are so!

**Jordan McClaine: **I 'am not!

**Trent Nicholson: **You are so!

**Jordan McClaine: **I 'am not!

**Trent Nicholson: **You are so!

**Jordan McClaine: **Trent! Just stop! I'm not.

**Wes Yang: **Jordan, you're not didn't helped me at all! It's full of disgusting thoughts of Klaine.

**Jordan McClaine: **Why? Are you actually thinking that Kurt and Blaine don't have their fucking tongues stuck in their fucking throats right now? I most certainly do.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I believe Jordan. Kurt and Blaine ARE the type to have their tongues stuck in their throats after getting together.

**Nick Connors: **I believe Jeff too. The sexual tension between those was SO freaking SUFFOCATING. I've could have died.

**Trent Nicholson: **Absolutely right, N. A Klaine-related death could happen to all the Warblers every Warbler meeting we had.

**Jeff Jefferson **and **Nick Connors **likes this

**Aaron Houghston: **I didn't understand what Jordan wants to mean in the note.

**Jordan McClaine: **It's plain and simple, Aaron. Kurt and Blaine are making babies.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Wait...I thought men can't have babies.

**Jordan McClaine: **They can't.

**Aaron Houghston: **Then why do you say that Kurt and Blaine are making babies?

**Jordan McClaine: ***Facepalm* You don't see what's in between the lines of "making babies"

**Aaron Houghston: ***shakes head*

**Jordan McClaine: ***Facepalm* Of course you don't...

**Aaron Houghston: **is confused.

**Jordan McClaine: **No surprise there.

**W****es Yang: **Jordan? How are you sure that Kurt and Blaine are at Blaine's house?

**Jordan McClaine: **Elementary my dear Wesley...

**Aaron Houghston: **I thought we're in high school?

**Jordan McClaine: ***Facepalm* Aaron, I'm saying in this in the nicest possible way but please...get the fuck out of my wall.

**Aaron Houghston: **:) That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Jordan. I'll leave. :)

**Jordan McClaine: ***Facepalm* has a headache.

**Wes Yang: **JORDAN! You didn't answer me!

**Jordan McClaine: **It is common sense actually Wes. Kurt and Blaine can't go too far since Kurt's dad would have a fit so they're still in Ohio. The only possible places for Kurt and Blaine to be are either of their houses. I'm pretty sure they're not in Kurt's because there's a waiting firing squad there for Blaine if they do, aka Kurt's dad with a shotgun. So, the most logical place for Kurt and Blaine to be are at Blaine's house...or mansion since that boy's rich.

**Wes Yang: **O_O I hate to admit it. But you make sense.

**Jordan McClaine: **:)

**Wes Yang: **Also, you're Klaine obsessed.

**Jordan McClaine: **I 'am not Klaine obsessed!

**Wes Yang: **Whatever you want to believe, Jordan. But thanks man. I don't know if you're right or wrong but I know that no matter where Klaine are, they are taking care of each other.

**Jordan McClaine: **Amen Crazy.

**Wes Yang: **STOP CALLING ME THAT, _ - sexual!

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Just in case some of you are curious of what's in Jordan's note. Here it is.)**

**Title: ****10 places where Klaine could be to stop Wes from making the Warblers, New Directions, and me in particular CRAZY!**

**Content: **

This is for my crazy friend, Crazy or aka Wesley Yang.

10.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other in Blaine's drive way.

9.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other in Blaine's garage.

8.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other in the Anderson's tennis court behind their house.

7.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other against Blaine's front door.

6.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other in Blaine's swimming pool.

5.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other in Blaine's kitchen.

4.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other on Blaine's staircase.

3.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each in Blaine's parent's bedroom. Though that's a little messed up and wrong at the same time hot.

2.) Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other in Blaine's bedroom, on his bed.

1.) Basically, Kurt and Blaine are fucking each other all over Blaine's house or mansion.

Note: To Wes, I hoped I satisfied you're curiosity. Now WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP BEING KLAINE OBSESSED!

Love, Jordan McClaine :)

* * *

><p><strong>Mike Chang <strong>to **Sam Evans: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

**Mike Chang: **TEXT ME BACK!

* * *

><p><strong>Sam Evans <strong>to **Mike Chang: **DUDE! STOP FLOODING MY WALL AND MY NOTIFICATIONS!

**Mike Chang: **Well then, next time, TEXT ME BACK!

**Sam Evans: **Fine! I'll text you back!

**Mike Chang: **FINALLY!

**Sam Evans: **Did you get my text?

**Mike Chang: **Yeah. FINALLY. SO, now that THAT is settled. Is the plan on?

**Sam Evans: **Hell yeah it is! We are so getting you and Tina back!

* * *

><p><strong>Tina Cohen-Chang: <strong>is weirded out that **Sam Evans **asked her out on a date. And what's worse is that she agreed to it.

**Santana Lopez: **I think you should sleep with him again. He has damn game with the bitches, just ask me.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I don't know, Santana. I still love Mike.

**Santana Lopez: **Well then sleep with Mike.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Is there anything on your mind that doesn't involve sleeping with someone?

**Santana Lopez: **Is there anything on your mind besides being an Asian?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Touché, Santana, touché.

**Santana Lopez: ***insert devil smile* So, what are you going to do with Trouty Mouth?

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I don't know. My Asian mind is nothing working right this days.

**Santana Lopez: **I think you should simply go to Mike and let him fuck you till you can't stand anymore.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **You know I just had a dream like that last night.

**Santana Lopez: **That dream is telling you to go and fuck Mike!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **But I already agreed to Sam's date.

**Santana Lopez: **After the date, go to other Asian's house and fuck him.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Nice plan Satan! I'll do just that! Thank you! *goes offline*

**Santana Lopez: **What is the world going to do without Santana Lopez? I bet it would crumble. Muhahahahaha! Wait...I'm late for my threatening of Ms. Fuckbitch.

* * *

><p><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>to **Kitalene Bates: **You. PM me now.

**Kitalene Bates: **Who are you?

**Santana Lopez: **I'm your worst nightmare.

**Kitalene Bates: **Then why will I PM you?

**Santana Lopez: **Because if you don't, you'll be sleeping with the fishes.

**Kitalene Bates: ***insert confused look* why would I be sleeping with the fishes? They stink!

**Santana Lopez: ***bitch facepalm* JUST PM ME, BITCH!

* * *

><p><strong>Kitalene Bates: <strong>

Hello? Are you there?

**Santana Lopez:**

I'm only going to say this once and ONCE only. Listen whorey-Mcfuckpanties. I know your type. You find vulnerable guys like Thad and you pour on the whole innocent little lonely girl routine and reel them in with your lies. You fuck around with them until you get bored and move on to some other guy who's either too naive or too desperate to see through it. So here's how this is gonna work; you are going to break up with Thad. You are going to take your disease ridden panties and scamper off with your tail between your cellulite mottled legs, or imma go lima heights adjacent all over your fucking bitch ass until all that's left of you is a tiny pile of ashes and a couple of silicone implants. Do I makes myself clear?'

**Kitalene Bates:**

EVERYTHING YOU SAID^ IS A LIE! I DO NOT PREY ON VULNERABLE GUYS!

**Santana Lopez: **

BE IN DENIAL ALL YOU WANT BUT MAKE SURE TO BREAK UP WITH THAD OR YOU'LL BE SORRY!

**Kitalene Bates: **

I'm going to call my uncle, Ipee Mypants! I'm so suing you for harassment.

**Santana Lopez:**

Do that and you will never see daylight again. Nor any light...because you'll be dead. *insert evil laugh*

**Kitalene Bates:**

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

**Santana Lopez:**

ARE YOU BLIND, BITCH? CAN'T YOU READ? I'M YOUR WORST NIGTMARE! Now, do what I say or face the wrath of Lima Heights! *goes offline*

**Kitalene Bates:**

Hello? Are you there? Hello? Worst nightmare! I need to ask you some things. Why are you threatening me? I'm not any of those things you told me! Why do you want me break up with Thad?

**Kitalene Bates:**

I love him!

* * *

><p><strong>Kitalene Bates: <strong>Something weird happened to me today.

**Wes Yang: **Please tell me you saw Kurt and Blaine? Please? *insert pleading tone*

**Kitalene Bates: **Uh...no...I didn't...

**Wes Yang: **Oh...*insert sad face* that sad...

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O Are you crying? Over Klaine?

**David Thompson: **He seriously needs to get a life or this obsession of Klaine is getting worse.

**Wes Yang: **Both of you. SHUT THE FUCK UP! :(

**Kitalene Bates: **Excuse me gentlemen, there is a presence of a lady here. Be careful with your words.

**Jordan McClaine: **We don't care, FUCK BITCH!

**David Thompson **and **234 **likes this

**Kitalene Bates: ***insert hurt face*

**Thad Stevens:** What is going on here? Who is mocking my sweet girlfriend?

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert slapped look* SWEET! You call that Fuckbitch SWEET? DID SOMEONE CUT YOUR TONGUE OR SOMETHING BECAUSE SHE'S FAR FROM SWEET!

**Thad Stevens: **O_O ...YOU MOCK ME SIR!

**Jordan McClaine: **YES I 'AM! Fuckbitch can be hot...HECK can even be sexy...but DEFINITELY NOT sweet. I swear this on the removal of my reproductive organ!

**Thad Stevens: **I don't care about your reproductive organ! What I care about is that you're hurting my girlfriend!

**Jordan McClaine: **Of all the girls you could choose, you chose her! Are you mad!

**Thad Stevens: **Well, who do you want me to choose?

**Jordan McClaine: **I...

**Thad Stevens: **Well? I'm waiting for an answer.

**Wes Yang: **Thad, stop.

**Thad Stevens: **Why are you telling me to stop?

**David Thompson: **Jordan just went offline.

**Thad Stevens: **Jordan doesn't even have the balls to tell me. He has a huge problem over me.

**Wes Yang: **Oh...you have no idea.

**Thad Stevens: **What do you mean?

**David Thompson: **Nothing Thad. Go and fuck Fuckbitch.

**Thad Stevens: **What is the matter with all of you and Kitalene? She's my girlfriend and your my best friends, why can't you accept her?

**David Thompson: **PM us Thad and we'll tell you.

**Wes Yang:** Excuse me, what do you mean 'we'? I'm going offline, I need to find Kurt and Blaine. Who knows they could be in mortal danger.

**David Thompson: **Yes, that is absolutely true. Except for the fact, YOU are the mortal danger Kurt and Blaine will face once you find them.

**Wes Yang: **Not funny, David.

**David Thompson: **It's funny to me. :)

**Thad Stevens: **If you tell me what you two blubbering idiots are talking about, I'll tell where Kurt and Blaine can be found.

**Wes Yang: **YOU KNOW WHERE KURT AND BLAINE ARE! O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

**David Thompson: ***Porn Facepalm* you know, you could have told us that awhile ago. That would have been a BIG help.

**Thad Stevens: **...I didn't felt like telling.

**David Thompson: ***Porn facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***insert mouth agape here* You are just like your girlfriend, YOU FUCK BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU HIDE KLAINE FROM ME!

**Thad Stevens: **It is very fun watching a grown man addicted to gavels and is closetedly in love with his chocolate best friend obsessed over two men in love. :)

**Wes Yang: ***insert Asian glaring at Thad* I. Hate. You.

**Thad Stevens: **Ditto ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang:<strong>

WHERE ARE KURT AND BLAINE, THADDEUS! ANSWER ME!

**Thad Stevens:**

Easy, Wesley. Tell me what the hell is Jordan's problem and I'll tell you where Kurt and Blaine are.

**David Thompson: **

Hold up! Wait a porn second here! First tell us how you know where Kurt and Blaine are in the first place.

**Thad Stevens:**

Blaine asked me to take notes for him and Kurt while their away. Apparently, Klaine wants to spend time alone together. You know like a honeymoon before their friends bombard them because of their FINALLY getting together.

**Wes Yang:**

Why YOU? I can get their notes better than you!

**Thad Stevens:**

Because you're Klaine obsessed and would stalk them!

**David Thompson:**

Thad's got a point.

**Wes Yang:**

Shut up, David. Thad, if you are lying to me, I will lie about Jordan.

**Thad Stevens:**

*insert an insulted look* YOU MOCK ME SIR! Thaddeus Stevens III does not lie.

**David Thompson:**

Oh yeah? Then why are you lying to yourself?

**Thad Stevens:**

What the devil are you on about?

**Wes Yang:**

I hate to say it but ^AVPM/S reference much^

**David Thompson:**

Wesley, not only are you Klaine obsessed but turning into Kurt and Trent aka the bristers addicted to AVPM/S.

**Wes Yang:**

How many times do I need to tell you to shut the hell up, David?

**Thad Stevens:**

Guys? Hello! You haven't answered my question!

**David Thompson:**

I'll answer. You slept with Kitalene.

**Thad Stevens:**

Is that still news for you?

**Wes Yang:**

You lost your virginity to her.

**Thad Stevens:**

O_O How'd you know I was virgin before her?

**Wes Yang:**

Well...I didn't but based on your reaction...I guess I'm right.

**David Thompson:**

OH MY GAWD OF PORN! YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY TO KITALENE?

**Thad Stevens:**

Fuck you, Wes. If only I wasn't desperate to find out what's wrong with Jordan, I wouldn't tell you where Klaine is even if you kill me.

**Wes Yang:**

^That is not a bad idea^

**David Thompson:**

Woah guys! Stop that! There is no need for killing here.

**Thad Stevens:**

I thought you want to kill, Wesley?

**David Thompson:**

I do. I just don't want YOU to kill him. I want that to be me.

**Wes Yang:**

Fuck you, David.

**Thad Stevens:**

So what if I slept with Kit? So what if I lost my virginity to her weeks ago? SO FUCKING WHAT?

**Wes Yang:**

You're in love with Jordan.

**Thad Stevens:**

Yeah except there's one small problem. I'm getting over him.

**David Thompson:**

No you're not. You're getting WAY more deeper by avoiding him. As one famous person once said. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

**Wes Yang:**

Dude, that quote was from a chick flick. Yet you make fun of me watching 'Notting Hill'.

**David Thompson:**

^WHATEVER^ The point is Thad, you love Jordan. You should fight for him.

**Thad Stevens:**

That is a lost cause, David. That man will never love me. Plus, he's straight.

**Wes Yang: **

What kind of straight man stares at Kurt's ass longer than Blaine?

**David Thompson:**

Wesley, you do that too. I'm surprise Blaine hasn't murdered you and Jordan.

**Wes Yang:**

I do not stare at Kurt's ass.

**David Thompson:**

I have proof. A picture.

**Wes Yang:**

*glare* I. Hate. You.

**Thad Stevens:**

There is nothing wrong staring at Kurt's ass. His ass is better than JLo's. And that is saying something. Damn Blaine's a lucky bastard.

**David Thompson:**

Would we please stop talking about Kurt's ass and get back on the subject.

**Thad Stevens:**

That sad. I want to talk about Kurt's ass some more.

**Wes Yang:**

Me too.

**David Thompson:**

LATER!

**Wes Yang:**

Later sounds good to me. Sounds good to you, Thad.

**Thad Stevens:**

As long as it has something to do with Kurt's ass, everything sounds good.

**Wes Yang:**

^LIKE^

**David Thompson: **

*Porn facepalm* Looks like Thad is Klaine obsessed too.

**Wes Yang:**

Looks like I'm not alone. Anyway, back to what we are talking about. Thad, please do not give up on Jordan.

**David Thompson:**

Yeah man. He loves you back. He really does.

**Thad Stevens:**

O_O WHAT DID YOU SAY?

**Wes Yang:**

Jordan feels the same way about you.

**Thad Stevens:**

THAT IS PREPOSTEROUS! YOU ARE KIDDING ME, AREN'T YOU?

**Wes Yang:**

Why do you think he bullies Kit so much? It's because he is jealous, moron. It's because he wants you but apparently you're taken.

**Thad Stevens:**

I don't believe you guys. Has he ever said so himself?

**David Thompson:**

Yes. He said it to Kurt when Kurt asked him why he was so angry at your girlfriend.

**Thad Stevens:**

What were his exact words?

**Wes Yang:**

Kurt asked Jordan of what he was. Jordan said he wasn't gay because he doesn't like other guys. Kurt concluded that Jordan is Thad-sexual and Jordan agreed.

**Thad Stevens:**

Thad-sexual? Seriously?

**Wes Yang:**

Don't be surprise it's Kurt who thought of that.

**Thad Stevens:**

Not surprised at all.

**David Thompson: **

So? Do you believe us?

**Thad Stevens:**

Promise me you two aren't lying.

**David Thompson:**

I promise in the name of my relationship with Tater tots.

**Thad Stevens:**

*Facepalm*

**Wes Yang:**

I promise in the good name of Klaine and their future babies.

**Thad Stevens:**

I can't believe I'm listening to you guys. I must be that desperate to be with Jordan.

**Wes Yang:**

You really do love him, do you?

**Thad Stevens:**

I never would have thought I'd fall for a man like him. But...fate always surprises you when you least expect it.

**Wes Yang:**

Yeah. I never knew I'd fall for Satan.

**David Thompson:**

Me neither with Tater tots.

**Thad Stevens: **

Me neither.

**Wes Yang:**

Oh my Klaine...we're getting sentimental...how gay are we?

**Thad Stevens:**

You? 100 out of 10.

**David Thompson:**

^LIKE^

**Thad Stevens:**

You? 1000 out of 10.

**Wes Yang:**

Payback ^LIKE^

**David Thompson: **

*insert middle finger pointed to Thad and Wesley*

**Wes Yang:**

Hey Thad! You haven't told where Klaine is?

**Thad Stevens:**

Oh yeah. Just promise me you won't go there, okay Wesley? Blaine and Kurt are going to murder me if you guys go there.

**Wes Yang:**

I won't. *fingers crossed behind back*

**David Thompson:**

I'll stop Wes if he does because I'm sure he has his fingers crossed behind his back.

**Wes Yang:**

Damn you Papa Porn!

**Thad Stevens: **

Klaine are staying at Blaine's house.

**Wes Yang:**

...

**Thad Stevens:**

Wes?

**David Thompson:**

I'm going to his room to see if he's still here and not on his way to Blaine's.

**Thad Stevens:**

Wes?

**Wes Yang:**

I cannot believe that Jordan's right.

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan knew?

**Wes Yang:**

He guessed. Wow.

**Thad Stevens:**

That's my man! :)

**Wes Yang:**

Not yet.

**Thad Stevens:**

Will be, soon.

**Wes Yang:**

What are you going to do with Kit?

**Thad Stevens:**

Break up with her.

**Wes Yang:**

THANK MR. BANG-BANG!

**Thad Stevens:**

Though first I need to confirm if Jordan does in fact feel the same way.

**Wes Yang:**

You do that while I cheer K.I.F.E.B. all over my room.

**Thad Stevens:**

What the devil is K.I.F.E.B.?

**Wes Yang:**

Duh! Klaine Is Fucking Endgame Bitches!

**Thad Stevens:**

And Jorthad is going to be endgame too bitches!

**Wes Yang:**

^AMEN!^

* * *

><p>"Kurt? Wake up, sweetie."<p>

Blaine said softly as he sat on the right side of his bed, gently leaning forward to shake Kurt from his slumber.

Blaine and Kurt haven't felt this happy since they've first met. Now that they are together, the two spent four days all alone in Blaine's house. Kind of like a honeymoon before their friends go insane with them being FINALLY together after such a long time of sexual tension and eye fucking.

They spent the four days just being together. Watching movie and TV marathons curled up in Blaine's bed. Eating popcorn and junk food that Kurt would protest to but in the end eat because he wants to make Blaine smile.

Both of them wish that they could just stay in Blaine's room all their lives but they can only be absent for four days and tomorrow they must go to school or their parents would kill them.

Blaine woke up early that day. He always woke up early to watch Kurt sleep. He looks so beautiful, so peaceful when he's asleep.

But this morning was different. Instead of watching his beloved sleep, he went to check FB. He was sure that so much craziness is going in there since he last logged in.

And after an hour, the craziness he predicted was much worst.

"Kurt," He said softly again, leaning forward to Kurt's ear and said again his beloved's beautiful name.

That made Kurt move in his sleep. He rolled over onto his back and stretched his cute little arms above his head. Then, he opened his sleepy eyes and smiled when he saw Blaine watching him with a loving smile.

"You're watching me sleep again?" Kurt asked even though the answer was obvious. Blaine's been watching him sleep every morning before he wakes up and still finds Blaine watching him. It was weird. But a good weird.

Blaine nodded but then countered. "I only watched a little this time. I was busy checking my Facebook account. You wouldn't believe what had happened there." He updated Kurt.

"What?" Kurt asked curiously. He sat up on Blaine's bed, cupped Blaine's face, and pecked his lips. Then, he climbed out of bed and rushed to Blaine's desk where his laptop was placed.

"What happened?" Kurt asked again.

Even after four days, Blaine still feels dizzy whenever Kurt kisses him. He wonders when will he be teh day he doesn't get dizzy of Kurt's kisses. He predicts he'll never get over them. Not that Blaine is complaining.

"Wes happened." Blaine answered as he stood up from his bed and walked towards Kurt who was seating on his chair and clicking away on his laptop. "Apparently he is obsessed with us."

"What have we done?" Kurt said in overdramatic tone. "We created a monster."

Blaine leaned in on Kurt's cheek and kissed it. "I don't care if we made a monster as long as we're together." He said sweetly. "Finally together,"

Kurt blushed at what Blaine said and turned his head towards his boyfriend. He leaned in and kissed Blaine's lips with all the love he felt for the man in front of him and all the joy he felt at being happy and with him at last.

Kurt pulled away, gently leaning his forehead to Blaine's. He whispered to him diabolically. "You know what would make Wes more obsessed with us?"

"Ask him to join us in a threesome?" Blaine joked but Kurt looked at him, horrified. "Dear God, no! The images in my head right now will never leave me!"

Blaine laughed at Kurt's expression. He placed his hand on Kurt's cheek and gently caressed it with his thumb. Kurt's eyes closed, savouring the feeling.

"What would make Wes more obsessed with us?" Blaine asked.

Kurt opened his eyes and smiled at Blaine. "Announcing to the world that we are in a relationship and boyfriends through Facebook." He said happily.

"I like the sound of that." Blaine agreed. "Especially the boyfriend part."

"Me too,"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Another chapter has ended. Wow, a lot of things happened here. Also, another WOW because this chapter has 13, 546 words all in all. The longest chapter in the fanfic. WOW!

Summary:

Wes is obsessed to where Klaine are, only to find out that they are having a "honeymoon" in Blaine's house. Because of this obsession, the New Direction's found out about Klaine and had different comments about. Also, because of this obsession, Wes told Thad about why Jordan hates Kit. In other news, Sam and Mike are in a mission to get Tina and Mike back together. The only hint in their mission is that Sam asked out Tina on a date. Lastly, Kurt and Blaine are happily together in Blaine's house but are going back to school in the next day. Also, they are officially telling the world that they are together.

**Favorite Part:**

_The Wes-David-Thad co__nversation. As long as there is Wes, he never fails to crack me up. I love writing Wesley._

**Favorite Qu****ote and Quoter:**

**Wes Yang:**

David, I'm just an Asian teenager who is borderline-crazy obsessed with his deceased and in heaven banging gavel, chatting with you and the Warblers who too have problems to be friends with a crazy man like me, asking them to help a man to find two guys sickeningly and teeth-rotteningly in love and currently making the Klaine babies that was promised to mankind which would be superior overlords of the world and save us from Armageddon.

_You know what's weird is that I was watching Armageddon and not Notting Hill when I thought of this._

**Again, my sincerest apologies for not updating soon. I don't want to promise updates because I never do update in time because of my schedule. Still, I hope you guys still read my story. **

**Now here is what you guys to do for me:**

_REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART AND WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER_

_AND _

_WISH DARREN CRISS GOOD LUCK ON HIS PERFORMANCE ON BROADWAY TODAY! _

**GOODLUCK DARREN AND I HOPE FOR THE BEST! ALL KLAINERS ARE ROOTING FOR YOU!**

Upnext/Spoilers:

The longest chapter of the fanfic on the next chapter.

Blaine's life being threaten to end more than once.

Expect Burt and Carole Hummel to show up on the next chapter.

Expect Thad to talk to Jordan about their relationship.

Expect Kit to do something that would hinder Jorthad. God, I hope you guys don't hate me for what I'll do to Jorthad.

* * *

><p><strong>Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook!<strong>

**Also, HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

* * *

><p><strong>All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!<strong>


	22. Statuses, Kit's Plan, and DEATH THREATS

**Author's Note: *After three months of not updating…* HEY! I'm back! And I'm pretty sure you are all either hate me or angry at me for not updating. Again, a thousand apologies. Again, my reason for not updating is because of the many MANY projects I need to accomplish in my school since our school year is about to end on Friday this week. So…that's my reason. If you are still angry at me, then I, again, apologize. If you understand my predicament, I'm in deep gratitude of you for respecting my reason and waiting for this story to update. **

**Since school is FINALLY finish and I have nothing else to do. I will be updating the way I used to update back when I started this fanfic. At least twice a week…if I can…but I will be shortening the chapters…if that is okay with you…then I'm thrilled and will be following my plan. **

**Also, I want to thank you all for the reviews in the last chapter. ****606**** reviews…Wow. I'm happy that after a month of not updating, many of you still reviewed. I'm hoping and wishing that you would do the same for this chapter…*insert crossed fingers, toes, and eyes***

**Acknowledgement:Thanks to the following people for contributing to make this chapter possible. Without them, I think I wouldn't have finished this chapter. Violethillbeautiful and Full-Empty-Spirit****, thank you so much for help! Special thanks also to my 600th reviewer, Klaine Loving Anon . **

**Back to the subject at hand. So, this is the chapter all Gleek Facebook Klainers are waiting for. The chapter where Kurt and Blaine makes their relationship FB official. **

**And the chapter where everyone reacts to it!**

**BTW, this is chapter is dedicated to Klaine Week, even though I'm a little too late for it…**

**BTWA, this chapter is 26, 567 words long so...be prepared for a very long read. Maybe that can make up the three months of me not updating.**

**Warning:** **Rated M for swearing and talks about sex organs. **

**Theme: ****ltra fluffiness, smutiness, and Klainess**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Glee nor do I own Facebook because if I do...you know the drill...**

**BELATED KLAINE WEEK, KLAINERS! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty – Two:<strong>

**STATUSES, Kit's Plan, and DEATH THREATS**

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson <strong>is in a relationship with **Kurt Hummel **

**Kurt Hummel **is in a relationship with **Blaine Anderson **

* * *

><p>(After ten minutes)<p>

**Blaine Anderson: **Huh…that's weird…I assumed there will be a sudden burst of comments and my notifications blown away…

**Kurt Hummel: **Me too…

**Blaine Anderson: **Looks like no one cares about us, Kurt. :(

**Kurt Hummel: **feels hurt.

**Blaine Anderson: **Don't worry. Even though the Warblers and ND didn't make a fuss over us FINALLY getting together, at least we FINALLY have each other out of the six months of sexual tension and eye fucking and the constant longing looks.

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert smile* I love the way you're optimistic.

**Blaine Anderson: **I love that I can make you virtually smile. ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **I love that I love you.

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY! You stole my line! Line stealer!

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Blaine Anderson:** :)

**Kurt Hummel: **Hey…wait a minute…

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert panic voice* What? What is it? Did I do something wrong? Oh my God! Please don't break up with me! We JUST became FB official! PLEASE!

**Kurt Hummel: **What are you talking about? I'm not breaking up with you.

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert breathing a sigh of relief*Then what's with the 'wait a minute'?

**Kurt Hummel: **I just realized what time is it. It's ten o'clock in the morning.

**Blaine Anderson: **…and what is the significance of time with this?

**Kurt Hummel: **The Warblers and ND are still at school. That possibly the reason why they haven't commented about it.

**Blaine Anderson: **…oh…that totally makes sense…

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Blaine Anderson: **I love the fact that you're so smart.

**Kurt Hummel: **I love the fact you acknowledge that I'm smart.

**Blaine Anderson: **I love the fact that I love you.

**Kurt Hummel: **Now you're stealing my line! *insert fake bitch glare*

**Blaine Anderson: **I guess now, we're even.

**Kurt Hummel: **When we're we odd?

**Blaine Anderson: **…I love that you're so funny even though it's corny.

**Kurt Hummel: **I know ;) I love you.

* * *

><p>(After 6 hours)<p>

**Blaine Anderson **is in a relationship with **Kurt Hummel**

**Wes Yang, Santana Lopez, **and **9,999,999,999 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **FINALLY THE TWO HOUDINIS HAVE APPEARED AFTER HOW MANY DAYS OF DISAPPEARING ON US AND MAKING US FUCKING WAITING! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TWO TO POST THAT FUCKING STATUS! FOUR DAYS! FOUR FREAKING DAYS OF NO SLEEP, NO SHOWER, NO EATING, NO SEXING JUST WAITING! ONE OF YOU TWO BETTER BE PREGNANT WITH A KLAINE BABY OR I'M GOING TO GO ALL ASIAN CRAZY WITH YOU TWO, REGARDLESS OF MY LOVE FOR YOU TWO! CRAZY ASIANS ARE NOT TO BE MESSED WITH!

^BTW, DAMN LIKE THIS ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE EYES AND CAN READ THIS! OR YOU'LL DIE BY THE WRATH OF A KLAINE-OBSESSED ASIAN! *insert crazy eyes*^

**Rachel Berry, David Thompson, **and **9,523,436,453 (A/N: I know this is impossible but...just go with the flow...) **likes this

**Wes Yang: **^That's it bitches, like for the love of Klaine…LIKE IT! *insert threatening voice like Homer's*^

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>KLAINE IS FINALLY OFFICIAL! KLAINE IS FINALLY OFFICIAL! KLAINE IS FINALLY OFFICIAL! KLAINE IS FINALLY OFFICIAL BITCHES! KLAINE IS FINALLY OFFICIAL BITCHES! KLAINE IS FINALLY OFFICAL BITCHES!

**Kurt Hummel: ***in love facepalm* Oh Wesley, how I've missed you're insanity…

**Blaine Anderson: ***in love and in a relationship facepalm* I most certainly haven't. Wesley, first you were obsessed with a gavel. Now, you're obsessed with my relationship. Honestly, what's next?

**David Thompson: **Justin Bieber XD LOL

**Nick Connors: **^I'm going to kill you, David, I'm not lying^ You Warblers have insulted me and JB long enough.

**David Thompson: **We are not insulting you Nick, we're insulting the girl who's dating that hot chick from Wizards of Waverly Place.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Her name's Selina Gomez.

**David Thompson: **Right. Selina Gomez's dating a girl. XD

**Nick Connors: **is pissed off with **David Thompson**

**Kurt Hummel: **Nicholas, please have a broader mind. You know the only reason why David constantly teases the Warblers with their obsessions or their lovers is because of his lack of a sex life. :)

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **I have my ways, David. If I want to know something, I will know it. I suggest that you should stop teasing the Warblers, especially Nicholas.

**David Thompson: **O_O …I…hate…you…

**Wes Yang: **Hehehe…

**Jeff Jefferson: **Bitch got whipped like whip cream whips!

**Nick Connors: **ROTFFLMFAO! I missed you, Kurtie! Welcome back, man! I missed your witty and sarcastic remarks! No one can give remarks like you! :)

**Kurt Hummel: **I missed you too, Nicholas. ;) You bet your damn white ass loving Bieber that you missed my sarcastic wit…Oh My Gaga I sound like Cedes…

**David Thompson: **Got a problem sounding like Tater Tots, Hummel?

**Kurt Hummel: **Got a problem with your lack of sex, Thompson?

**David Thompson: ***insert I'm keeping my eyes on you, better watch out expression* You might win the battle, but you haven't the war.

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert bitch face* Bitch please, the war is in the bag.

**David Thompson: **:(

**Kurt Hummel: **:(

**Nick Connors: **definitely missed **Kurt Hummel **! I so fucking love you man! I can just imagine David's reactions! SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert jealous look* Nick, I just want to point out something…Since I'm KURT'S BOYFRIEND now. Flirting with him is strictly OFF limits.

**Nick Connors: ***insert teasing tone* and by off limits, you mean?

**Blaine Anderson: **By OFF limits, I mean GET YOUR HANDS OF MY MAN!

**Nick Connors: ***insert amused look* Nice to see you haven't changed from being the jealous hobbit you are that we've come to know and love, Blainers. Also, as if I would steal Kurt away from you. That's like stealing your heart right out of your chest without consent. I'm not THAT mean.

**Blaine Anderson: **Thanks. Also, since I'm Kurt's boyfriend right now. Giving me nicknames like 'jealous hobbits' or ''clueless gay man" are a strict "no-no". Right Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel: **Honestly Blaine? Just because we're dating doesn't mean you get to use it as a super power. Besides, I love hobbits. ;)

**Blaine Anderson: ***blushing* ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **;D

**Blaine Anderson: **;D

**David Thompson: **And…Cue the cyber flirting of Klaine. Bet you six months from now, one of the Warblers, excluding Klaine, will be pregnant with a Klaine baby. This is worse than their sexual tension. Now they are PUBLICLY showing their love for each other. It is sickening…

**Nick Connors **and **954,543 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **I disagree. I feel suffocated with their sexual tension. I'm not lying with the suffocation. Once in a Warbler meeting, I needed to leave the room because of the damn sexual tension. Though, I did cause that to myself since I was sitting next to Kurt at the time. Look at the bright side, at least their cyber flirting is sweet at the same time hot at the same time sexy at the same time just plan...EROTIC...That's like free porn…who the hell doesn't like free porn? Can I get an Amen, David?

**David Thompson: **Well…if you put it that way…

**Wes Yang: **AMEN! KLAINE BROTHER!

**David Thompson: **AMEN!

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O What's with all the Amens? Are we praying? O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **A-freaking-MEN!

**Kurt Hummel: ***Facepalm* Oh how I've missed you too, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: ***smirks* Oh how I missed you and that perfect ass of yours too. ;)

**Thad Stevens, Jeff Jefferson **and **984,573 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: ***blushes* I'm flattered. :)

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY! *insert jealous look*

**Jordan McClaine: **Don't get jealous hobbit. I missed you and your ass too. But Kurt's ass is perfect so…I missed his more.

**Blaine Anderson: **Double Hey!

**Wes Yang: **like if you missed Kurt's ass

**Aaron Houghston, Jordan McClaine, Santana Lopez, **and **935,436 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **TRIPLE HEY! KNOCK OFF STARING AT MY BOYFRIEND'S PERFECT ASS!

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, rest assured, please have a broader mind.

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert kicked puppy look* But?

**Kurt Hummel:** At least you…own this piece of fine ass. ;)

**Blaine Anderson: ***blushes more* You're right…I should understand how lucky I 'am.

**Kurt Hummel: **You bet your ass, you damn are! ;)

**Blaine Anderson: ***points at everyone mockingly* Haha! I own that piece of ass and you don't! :P

**Jordan McClaine:** so want to be **Blaine Anderson **right now. SO. FREAKING. WANTS. TO. BE.

**Wes Yang, Thad Stevens, **and **974,352 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **so wants to shove his fist up in **Jordan McClaine**'s ass.

**Jordan McClaine: **Oh…*insert teasing tone* Kinky…Don't do that to me, Blainers, do that to Kurtie. ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **He better do ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **O_O

**David Thompson: **O_O

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert smirk*Get fucking some, Anderson! Also, LET ME FUCKING JOIN YOU!

**Wes Yang, Aaron Houghston, **and **924,554 **likes this

**Wes Yang: **Let me join!

**Aaron Houghston: **wants to join threesome! Whatever the hell a "threesome" is!

**Nick Connors: **I thought you already had a threesome before, with that journalist chick and her cat.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh! Is that a threesome?

**Nick Connors: **…uh maybe…I don't know if a cat can be considered a person. Heck, I don't know if sleeping with a cat is legal.

**David Thompson: **Of course it's not legal! Get a fucking grip, Nick! It's like being a fan of JB. It's illegal to be a fan of his…correction…her.

**Nick Connors: **I hate you.

**Aaron Houghston: **still doesn't know what a threesome is.

**Nick Connors: **Three people having sex.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh! Thank you, Nicky! Now, I REALLY want to join a Klaine threesome!

**Jordan McClaine: **Hey! I asked first!

**Wes Yang: **But I WAS THE FIRST KLAINER!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'M JOINING THE KLAINE THREESOME!

**Wes Yang: **NO! THAT KLAINE THREESOME IS MINE, BIATCH!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'M JOINING THE KLAINE THREESOME, ASIAN!

**Wes Yang: **NO! THAT KLAINE THREESOME IS MINE!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'M JOINING THE KLAINE THREESOME!

**Wes Yang: **NO! THAT KLAINE THREESOME IS MINE!

**Aaron Houghston: **is joining the Klaine threesome and it's his and no one elses! :P

**Wes Yang: **You don't even know what a Klaine threesome is!

**Aaron Houghston: **I do now! Thanks to Nicky! A Klaine threesome is going to be FUN!

**Wes Yang: **…

**Jordan McClaine: **…

**Wes Yang: **…

**Jordan McClaine: **…

**Wes Yang: **I'M JOINING THE KLAINE THREESOME!

**Jordan McClaine: **HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO TELL YOU? THE KLAINE THREESOME IS MINE!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* as if there's going to be a threesome…

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm a twosome kind of guy and all I want is Kurt. No one else.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm also a twosome kind of guy and Blaine is all I want.

**Trent Nicholson: **Hey Klaine! Just read your relationship status! FINALLY CONGRATS! What's this Klaine threesome I'm reading? Can I join? *insert pleading look*

**Kurt Hummel: ***NOT EVER GOING TO HAVE A THREESOME facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***twosome with Kurt only kind of man facepalm*

**David Thompson: **Everyone wants a Klaine threesome…sadly, I feel a slight urge to join…

**Jordan McClaine: **Damn straight! No pun intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel:<strong>

Cedes, I need to tell you something important!

**Mercedes Jones:**

Let me guess. You and Prep Boy with the white ass and gelled hair have finally made sense that you two belong with each other and after how many months of sexual tension finally hooked up?

**Kurt Hummel: **

…how'd you know? I didn't see you comment on our statuses.

**Mercedes Jones: **

Dark Chocolate texted me immediately about it…

**Kurt Hummel: **

Why don't you sound happy for me?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Oh. I'm very happy for you, white boy, truly. But…

**Kurt Hummel:**

But what?

**Mercedes Jones: **

I'm a little hurt that you didn't tell me about you and Prep Boy hooking up first before you broadcasted it to whole Facebook world.

**Kurt Hummel:**

…Mercedes, didn't you saw my text? I texted you on the night Blaine and I got together!

**Mercedes Jones: **

What?

**Kurt Hummel: **

Check your phone.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Okay, hold on a second.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Okay.

**Mercedes Jones:**

AND DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING NASTY WITH PREP BOY!

**Kurt Hummel:**

We are not even in the same room.

**Mercedes Jones:**

That still didn't stop me and Dark Chocolate doing something nasty… ;)

**Kurt Hummel: **

TMI! TMI! TMI!

**Mercedes Jones:**

As if you and Blaine won't do that sooner or later…

**Kurt Hummel:**

My mouth is sealed…

**Mercedes Jones:**

Well I'll be damned with a white ass man, here's your text.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What it says?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Cedes, Blaine told me he loves me and not in a "just friends" kind of way, in a "the Notebook" kind of away! I can't believe it! I'm going to his room as I'm texting this and I just wanted to tell you first before all the others. Thanks for the support and never stopping to remind me that Blaine and I are together. In case you don't hear from me again for the next few days, just be assured that I'm safe and with Blaine, okay? I love you, Mercedes Jones! *Mwah*

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yup, that's what I texted.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Oh Kurt…I'm sorry for being mad at you…I suck as your friend…

**Kurt Hummel:**

No worries, I'm just glad you're not mad and you're happy for me.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Of course I'm happy for you, white boy! I've been rooting for you two to get together since Jeremiah happened. I'll always be happy for whatever you get, Kurt. What are best friends for?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I really love you right now, Mercedes. God! I wish I could hug you right now.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Well…you can hug me virtually…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Not the same.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Your right. Hey, btw, you know what's weird?

**Kurt Hummel: **

You and David not going to third base after how many months of dating?

**Mercedes Jones: **

Uh...no. I found your text in my delete box. Why is that?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I have three words for you. Papa Freaking Porn.

**Mercedes Jones:**

O_O You think Dark Chocolate put it there so that I would be mad at you?

**Kurt Hummel:**

You bet your sweet chocolate ass, I bet that's exactly what happened. Damn him. He hates me because I constantly tease him about you two being stuck in second base.

**Mercedes Jones:**

White boy! Why you need to do that?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I don't know. He constantly irritates me, don't know why. But, I promise you know I would stop if you do me a small favour…

**Mercedes Jones:**

What? Join you and Prep Boy in a three-way?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Why the hell does everyone want to join a threesome with me and Blaine!

**Mercedes Jones:**

Have you seen your hips? Have you seen Prep Boy's legs? Have you seen yourselves in front of a mirror lately? You two alone make women beg to be men and men turn to gay, you know that?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Regardless, no, Blaine and I will never have a threesome. Heck, we're not even in that stage of our relationship yet.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I'm betting three months tops, you'll lose your will to walk every day not fucking each other.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Mercedes! Your words!

**Mercedes Jones:**

What? You want me to use fornicate each other?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Mercedes, Blaine and I are sensible people…

**Mercedes Jones:**

Tell me that in the next three months. :P

**Kurt Hummel:**

Whatever. :P Can we go back to my favour?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Yeah sure

**Kurt Hummel:**

Cedes, for my sake and for David's sake, go to third base.

**Mercedes Jones:**

…I'll think about it…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't think about it too long, that chocolate boy needs to get some and get some fast or he'll go crazier than how he is already.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Yeah yeah yeah…congrats again, my white boy!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thanks

**Mercedes Jones:**

And use protection!

**Kurt Hummel: **

Mercedes!

**Mercedes Jones:**

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Yang: <strong>is the happiest man in the planet Earth right now for his two best friends **Blaine Anderson **and **Kurt Hummel **have FINALLY, after six gruesome months of SICKENING looks and longing and that VERY STUPID DEAL that almost brought the destruction of every Warbler's sanity and also my own well-being, GOT TOGETHER! This is a worldwide celebration I dub thee #**KLAINE DAY! :))))) **. Resistance of not celebrating this joyous occasion is futile. And by futile, I mean I'm going to enter your house with an axe and go all Patrick Bateman at all of you!

Note: I. AM. NOT. JOKING.

Note 2: ASIANS. NEVER. JOKE.

Note 3: K. I. E. F. B.

Note 4: Like this, bitches

**Aaron Houghston, Jordan McClaine, **and **64,367 **others likes this

**Aaron Houghston: **Who's Patrick Bateman?

**Wes Yang: **He's the guy in American Psycho with the axe.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh. He's scary.

**Wes Yang: **I know. This is why I'm threatening people that I'll be like him if they don't celebrate #**KLAINE DAY! :)))))**

**Aaron Houghston: **How do you celebrate #**KLAINE DAY! :))))) **?

**Wes Yang: **At least post a status that involves about them.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh…okay!

**Wes Yang: **This is MANDATORY to all the Warblers. I'm already have the axe. Don't make me go all Patrick Bateman at all of you.

**David Thompson: **You are beyond crazy. You are a demented and deranged psychopathic Asian!

**Thad Stevens, Nick Connors, **and **85,342,542 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **We'll see about that once you wake up with blood all over you.

**Santana Lopez: **You all Gargler bitches should just listen to the psycho Asian. It's no use to talk to him. It's a waste of good saliva to use for getting some action.

**David Thompson: **HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH THIS MAN?

**Santana Lopez: **Ask his cock. ;)

**Wes Yang: **Never underestimate the cock of a demented and deranged psychopathic Asian!

**David Thompson: ***facepalm* I'm sane and I'm not getting laid. Where's the fucking logic?

**Aaron Houghston: **Logic! Where are you? Have anyone seen logic?

**David Thompson: ***COME FREAKING ON facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>David Thompson: <strong>I'm not doing this for the psycho Asian; I'm doing this for Blaine and Kurt, even though I'm still at war with the man who's addicted to DC. Congratulations you two. You deserve each other out of the six months of suffering you guys and we, the Warblers, endured. I know we seem to be pain in the asses, not the good kind and yes, I'm looking at you **Jordan McClaine** accusingly because I know what you're thinking right now you bastard, and specifically **Wes Yang**, but we would always support you two no matter what happens. This I can promise you two. Though, if you two break up, I will kill you two. Plain and simple and…slowly…with video cams…for the whole world to see.

**Nick Connors **and **123,068 **others likes this

**Nick Connors: **Harsh ^much^ though, David.

**David Thompson: **After what we endured! I think not.

**Nick Connors: **Though they did provide us with free porn.

**Jordan McClaine **likes this

**David Thompson: **Regardless, if they fuck up their relationship, I'm going to go all Patrick Bateman with them.

**Wes Yang: **Ehem^ As far as I know, that^ is my line.

**David Thompson: **Shut up, Wesley. It's a free country and I can do the hell I want.

**Wes Yang: **I won't do that if I were you…*insert sounding mysterious*

**David Thompson: **Oh. I'm so fucking scared I'm wetting myself without porn. *insert sarcasm*

**Wes Yang: ***insert mysterious music background*

**David Thompson: ***insert I don't give a fuck music background*

**Wes Yang: ***insert fuck yourself music background*

**David Thompson: ***insert fuck you and your little cock music background*

**Jordan McClaine: **WOULD YOU TWO STOP INSERTING? GOD, YOU'RE GIVING A MAN UNNECESSARY ORGASMS HERE!

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* You really can't go a day without dirtying something up, can you?

**Jordan McClaine: **That is beyond me and you know it. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Nick Connors: <strong>Wes is insane.

**Wes Yang: **^THAT IS NOT A KLAINE-RELATED STATUS! DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL JB?^

**Nick Connors: **See? ^Told you he's insane^

**Wes Yang: **JUST FUCKING GO WITH THE FUCKING FLOW AND CELEBRATE **#KLAINE DAY :)))))**

**Nick Connors: **Fine. **Kurt Hummel **and **Blaine Anderson**. After all the drama you two went through like with Jeremiah or the Perry/Criss battles or with Dominic or with Trent, you two have got through it all and fell more in love with each other in process which never fails to surprise me and make me jealous of you. You two have something special. You have someone to call BABY. You have SOMEBODY TO LOVE. You have made ONE LESS LONELY GIRL…I mean BOY in the world…actually you made a lot of people, girl and boy, happy because of getting together; just look at Wes and Jordan. If there was ONE TIME that I doubted that you two would ever get together, I apologize and hope you would forgive me. I was wrong. You two are an inspiration and sometimes or most of the time, I look to you now and ask myself THAT SHOULD BE ME. I'm sorry if I'm jealous of you guys but I can't help myself. I want to be STUCK IN THE MOMENT like you two are right now. Happy. Contended. With someone I'm in love with. Then again, NEVER SAY NEVER. Someday I will find someone to LOVE ME for me like Blaine loves Kurt and Kurt loves Blaine regardless of each other's insanities. Someday I will go OVERBOARD for someone I love. Someone I would share my FIRST DANCE with at Prom. I will never give UP to find that someone. And it is because of you two, Kurt and Blaine, that I have the courage…hehe…to find that someone. Thank you!

I hope and PRAY that I would meet that person soon and though I have met someone already that I can possibly share this with, I'm not going to force him to be with me because he should want, not feel the need or doubt, to with be me.

If you two are happy then I 'am happy. If U SMILE, then I smile. If you are together, then the Warblers and I will never stop cheering you two on. I bet my life that you two would make it in the long haul. So please…for Bieber's sake…make it in the long haul. Prove to the others that what you guys have is not just a high school romance but the real thing. Congratulations you two!

**Kurt Hummel**, **Blaine Anderson**, and **931,242 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Nicholas, I 'am beyond impressed and touched with what you said. I cannot believe that someone like you could actually make me like Justin Bieber's songs. You made the impossible possible and I'm very thankful to you. I 'am very thankful for your wish. I hope that Blaine and I would make it in the long haul.

**Blaine Anderson: **And we WILL make it in the long haul, Kurt. I promise you that.

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**David Thompson: **I cannot believe that JB's songs can actually have a great purpose in the world.

**Nick Connors **and **Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Wes Yang: **Great job, Nick. Very impressive I'm calling off my plan of assassinating JB.

**Trent Nicholson: **WHY! That's a good plan!

**Nick Connors: **Shut up, Trent. Don't you dare talk like that! Or I'll ask Wes to assassinate JR.

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O DON'T. YOU. DARE.

* * *

><p><strong>Jeff Jefferson: <strong>Wesley promised me a bucket of KFC chicken if I did this so here goes: Kurt, you are the peanut butter to Blaine's jelly. Blaine, you are the eggs to Kurt's ham. Kurt, you are the milk to Blaine's shake. Blaine, you are the corn to Kurt's beef. Kurt, you are the hot to Blaine's dog. Blaine, you are the cheese to Kurt's cake. Kurt, you are the French to Blaine's fries. Blaine, you are the cheese to Kurt's sticks. Kurt, you are the pasta to Blaine's sauce. Blaine, you are the pork to Kurt's chop. Kurt, you are the chicken to Blaine's gravy. Blaine, you are the spaghetti to Kurt's meat balls. Kurt, you are the chocolate to Blaine's milk. Blaine, you are the red to Kurt's vines.

Lastly, Kurt, you are the key to Blaine's locked heart. Blaine, you are the key to Kurt's locked heart. You two open each other to something so extraordinary. You know what that is? To open yourselves to someone and let yourselves love that someone with every fiber of your being. That's what I'm talking about here.

Basically, you two are the ones that complete each other. Now that you two are together, always find a way complete each other more, make each other better, and for the sake of everyone's sanity, especially **Wes Yang **and **Jordan McClaine**, never separate. Ever. :)

**Blaine Anderson, Thad Stevens,** and **90,306 **others likes this

**Blaine Anderson: **That was very impressive, Jeff.

**Kurt Hummel: **Totally. I love it! :)

**Aaron Houghston: **that was so beautiful. IT TOTALLY ROCKED!

**Wes Yang: **Great job, Jeff!

**Jeff Jefferson: **Thanks guys! Made it myself! I feel so proud I want to share my bucket of chicken but I won't. :)

**Nick Connors: **No one can say such a speech like that but you, Jeff. Brava! *claps hands*

**Jeff Jefferson: ***bows* With a promise of a bucket of KFC chicken, man can do anything!

**Jordan McClaine: **Even have sex with ten women at the same time? I don't think so…

**Jeff Jefferson: **Bitch please, have you met Charlie Sheen and Hugh Hefner?

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O *mind blown*

**Jordan McClaine:**…looks like I just found my two new role models! :)

**Thad Stevens: ***looks at the heavens*God helps us all.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>To **Kurt Hummel **and **Blaine Anderson**, I raise a glass to both of you. In honor for FINALLY getting into your senses and becoming a couple. This has been a dream of the Warblers for you two for many months now. We've seen how much you two care for each other and we've seen how perfect you two are for each other that is sickening and also makes us envy you two so so much. Speaking for all of us, I can say that we all wish that someday we could be like you two. Though not like waiting for SIX MONTHS to get our acts together and suffocating people with sexual tension in the process…but…having feelings someone so strong like you two that could inspire other people to find the one for them. You two have inspired me so much…you have no idea…and I'm very proud to call you two, my best friends. The only advice I can give you two is to simply take care of each other and handle each other like your gems, something very precious and fragile that should be handled with uttermost care because it is priceless and you only get it once in a lifetime, so cease the moment. So…to Kurt and Blaine, *insert raising a glass*, congratulations! :)

**Wes Yang, Kurt Hummel, **and **95,436 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: ***wipes away tears* that was beautiful, Thad. Thank you so very much!

**Blaine Anderson: ***wipes his tears and Kurt's* Seriously man, we're very touched. I think I'm having a heart attack from all the love.

**Thad Stevens: **You're very welcome guys. I'm saying all of those words from the heart and besides, what I said is all true. Also, I'm saying all of that so that Wes would stop texting me to celebrate **#KLAINE DAY :))))) **

**Wes Yang: **Here here *raises glass*

**David Thompson: **Cheers *raises glass*

**Aaron Houghston: **Peep peep cheerio! *raises glass*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: **What? What's wrong?

**Thad Stevens: **What you said means 'good bye', Aaron.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh. I thought you guys were just saying British phrases.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Aaron Houghston: <strong>Kurtie and Blainey sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Yehey! HAPPY **#KLAINE DAY :)))))** Did I do good Wesley?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* Yes, Aaron. You did good. Very good.

**Aaron Houghston: **:)

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>Kurt and Blaine lying on a bed, F-U-C-K-I-N-G! KLAINE BABIES ARE COMING BITCHES!

**Trent Nicholson: **You really just can't go a day not dirtying anything up, even old nursery rhyme; you have no shame in dirtying up. What kind of man are you?

**Jordan McClaine: **Bitch please, as if you don't want to join a Kurt and Blaine in bed.

**Trent Nicholson: **You have point.

**Jordan McClaine: **Also, I'm the kind of man you want in bed. ;)

**Trent Nicholson: **Bitch please, the only man I want in bed is Joey Ritcher.

**Jeff Jefferson **and **94,340 **others likes this

**Trent Nicholson: **STARKIDS UNITE!

**Jordan McClaine: **is definitely better than Joey Ritcher

**Trent Nicholson: **^TREASON^ KILL HIM!

**Jordan McClaine: ***Starkids are weird facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Okay…so no threesome then?

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even a little…

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even once…

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even if I bring snacks…

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even if I bring drinks like coffee or something…

**Blaine Anderson: **No

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even if I bring an AVPM DVD?

**Blaine Anderson: **NO

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even if I have free lube and condoms…

**Blaine Anderson: **NO

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even if I have Harry Potter dildo…

**Blaine Anderson: **…*insert processing/thinking look*…eh…well…uh…no…definitely no…

**Trent Nicholson: **Not even if I bring Darren Criss along to make it a foursome…

**Blaine Anderson: **HELL TO THE FUCKING NO!

**Kurt Hummel: **Possible

**Blaine Anderson: **KURT! *insert scolding tone*

**Kurt Hummel: **What? He's bringing along DARREN FREAKING CRISS! Who won't accept DARREN FREAKING CRISS TO A FOURSOME? Only idiots like Wesley will do that.

**Wes Yang: **You are using me as an analogy to stupid again, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah I know. Why shouldn't I?

**Wes Yang: **You are lucky I worship you guys or I'm going to go all Patrick Bateman at your ass?

**Kurt Hummel: **Seriously? At my ass?

**Wes Yang: **…hair then…

**Kurt Hummel: **Thought so.

**Blaine Anderson: **WE ARE NOT HAVING A FOURSOME OR A THREESOME!

**Kurt Hummel: **But Blaine, we are talking about Darren Criss?

**Blaine Anderson: **But nothing! I'm not sharing you with a man who's ranked THIRD sexiest man alive in People Magazine!

**Trent Nicholson: **Oh My Joey Fucking Ritcher! HE RANKED THIRD SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert Garfield on Monday* You didn't know?

**Trent Nicholson: **No

**Kurt Hummel: ***looks like Garfield and the other cartoons on Monday* Where have you been for the past few months?

**Trent Nicholson: **Making Blaine and your love lives miserable because of the stupid deal.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh…right…

**Trent Nicholson: **He is DEFINITELY worthy to be in a foursome! Can you imagine, K? Imagine it, K!

**Kurt Hummel: ***blushes* Oh, I have imagined. I have plentiful imaginations of THAT already, Trent.

**Blaine Anderson:** How many HEYs do I have to say today?

**Kurt Hummel: **We weren't dating yet, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **And now we are! So stop thinking of a foursome with THAT man. God, is Darren Criss even human?

**Trent Nicholson: **Human or an Extra-terrestrial, I would totally sleep with that man or have foursome with him.

**Kurt Hummel **and **95,425,634 **others likes this

**Kurt Hummel: **Amen, my brister, a-the heaven-men

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay, I 'am putting my foot down. No more talking about a foursome, threesome, or that…THAT MAN who makes my blood boil every fucking time…

**Kurt Hummel: **He has a name, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **I know and if I have a death note book, I would write his name first.

**Kurt Hummel: **If you weren't my boyfriend right now, you would buried alive by now in a far FAR away place like Mexico or Uruguay with a portrait of Darren to torture you with.

**Blaine Anderson: **is not surprised.

**Kurt Hummel: **BUT, you are my boyfriend now and possibly my boyfriend forever…

**Trent Nicholson: **^AWWWW^

**Kurt Hummel: **…so I'm just telling you to stop being angry at him because again and again, I remind you that he is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING compared to you and to what we have. You have nothing to get jealous about even though I act like I'm in love with him, which I 'am, I don't love him the way I love you. My love for you is REAL. My love for him is FANTASY. I want REAL love instead of FANTASY love. Besides, he can't kiss the way you do.

**Blaine Anderson: **Awww…I'm touched Kurt. Promise I'll remember that next time THAT MAN comes up again in our conversations, which hoping won't be often. BTW, how in the world do you know how he kiss?

**Kurt Hummel: **Ask my pillow

**Blaine Anderson: **…? *facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: **Hehe…I see what you did there, K. Nice.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson <strong>to **Trent Nicholson: **Can we stop talking about threesomes or foursomes or THAT MAN?

**Trent Nicholson: **Fine…

**Blaine Anderson: ** Thank you

**Trent Nicholson: **B? I'm still really sorry for what I did to you and K.

**Blaine Anderson: **It's okay.

**Trent Nicholson: **No it's not okay!

**Blaine Anderson: **It worked out in the end.

**Trent Nicholson: **But I prolonged it. You two should have gotten together months ago.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine's worth the wait, Trent, so it's okay.

**Trent Nicholson: **But still…

**Kurt Hummel: **I said. It. Is. Okay. *insert scary bitch glare*

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert proud look*

**Trent Nicholson: **In other news, B, good luck with you and that stare.

**Blaine Anderson: ** I don't need good luck. All I need is love and love will protect me with that stare.

**Trent Nicholson: **^AWWWW…^

**Kurt Hummel: **Sometimes Blaine can be the biggest idiot to ever walk in the face of humanity and the world…

**Blaine Anderson: **You better be onto something Kurt or I swear…

**Kurt Hummel: **Let me finish darling…

**Trent Nicholson: **Can I get another AWWW? ^AWWW…^

**Kurt Hummel: **Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, Blaine can be an idiot sometimes but he has many moments that makes him the most remarkable and sweetest man ever that triumphs his stupidity that is the reason why I love him.

**Trent Nicholson: **Aww come on! How many AWWWWs do you want me to do? Because I will keep doing it. ^FUCKING AWWWW^

**Blaine Anderson: **That was sweet, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **Not as sweet as you ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **But you're sweeter! You're like sugar!

**Kurt Hummel: **That is preposterous! You are the sweetest man in the planet!

**Blaine Anderson: **I resent that! You are the sweetest man in the planet!

**Kurt Hummel: **You are!

**Blaine Anderson: **No, you are!

**Kurt Hummel: **You are!

**Blaine Anderson: **No, you are!

**Trent Nicholson: **Alright! You two! You are going to pay for my fucking dentist bill, not because of my retainers or my whitening session, but because of gave me 32 rotten teeth!

**Aaron Houghston: ***insert scared look* Klaine gave you rotten teeth? Why would Klaine do that? *insert innocent kid voice* That is bad. Why would Klaine do something bad?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* I 'am not explaining that one…

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Me neither…

**Trent Nicholson: **Aaron, they didn't LITERALLY gave me rotten teeth.

**Aaron Houghston: ***insert sobbing* but you said…

**Trent Nicholson: **I was saying that METAPHORICALLY

**Aaron Houghston: **What's Meta-metap-phor-phori-cly-cal?

**Trent Nicholson: ***metaphorical facepalm* It means I was saying it is real in my mind but fake in real life…you following me?

**Aaron Houghston: **You know I don't have Twitter, right? I don't believe that tweets are meant for humans. I believe they are only meant for birds. So, tweeting is wrong. Because we're not birds unless…unless I wasn't told that we are. Oh my! What if we are? O_O We are not birds, right Trent? Right?

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm* Last time I checked…no

**Aaron Houghston: ***sighs a breath of relief* Thank God! Beaks don't look good on me.

**Blaine Anderson: ***laughing his fucking ass off* He asked for this

**Kurt Hummel: ***laughing his fucking perfect ass off* Poor guy

**Trent Nicholson: **What I meant to say is…do you get what I said?

**Aaron Houghston: **Get what you said about what?

**Trent Nicholson: **About metaphorically speaking

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh…no…

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: **But I do get that we are not birds…at least not yet what with all the tweeting that's happening we might as well be…

**Kurt Hummel: **Aaron, what Trent means is that we didn't give him rotten teeth. That's it.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh! Why didn't you just say that, Trent?

**Blaine Anderson: **He was busy evolving into a bird.

**Kurt Hummel: **XD LOL

**Trent Nicholson: **Very funny, Klaine. Very FUCKING funny.

**Aaron Houghston: **Trent, you shouldn't be trying to evolve into a bird. Please don't. I like you just the way you are now.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah Trent, we like you just the way you are now.

**Kurt Hummel: **Just the way you are…

**Trent Nicholson: **If you two weren't so adorable, I would kick your virgin asses right now.

**Kurt Hummel: **Who says I'm a virgin?

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Aaron Houghston: **What's with the owl eyes again? Didn't I already win the last time? Seriously, guys, can't you admit the feet by Aaron Kenneth Houghston?

**Wes Yang: **It's "defeat" not "the feet", Aaron.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oops…at least I spelled my name right. Achievement earned!

**Wes Yang: ***Klaine facepalm*

~~~~~~~~`bg3ugberh8wg3yufbvijorgh41231`1~```````````

**Blaine Anderson: **

YOU'RE NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE?

**Kurt Hummel: **

In what sense are we talking about exactly?

**Blaine Anderson: **

In what sense? You just told Trent-

**Kurt Hummel:**

I wasn't a virgin, in terms of in the eyes. I've seen way too many love scenes, not porn, that I admit that I'm not a virgin anymore. In terms of wet dreams, I'm DEFINITELY not a virgin there. Just ask Dream Neil Patrick Harris, Dream Darren Criss, and Dream Blaine Anderson aka Dream You. In terms of hand jobs, blow jobs, and a cock shoved up my ass in real life, well, I'm a fucking virgin there. Satisfied?

**Blaine Anderson: **

O_O …you had wet dreams of me?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Since we're boyfriends now I can't lie to you because lying is a destructive element in a relationship so…yeah…I have…multiple times…

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert frown* with Darren?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Er…some yes…some no. Mostly no because my feelings for you were so powerful that I wanted you all to myself.

**Blaine Anderson:**

As if I would want Darren Criss, bleh :P

**Kurt Hummel:**

:) Have you had wet dreams of me?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Definitely. You're the only guy in my wet dreams.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Really?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well…there was this one time with Wes…that gave me nightmares…

**Kurt Hummel: **

*insert disgusted look* Oh God…well I can't get that image out of my mind now. Thank you very much Blaine. *insert sarcasm*

**Blaine Anderson: **

Even though we've only been together for like five days, I want you to be my first time, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Mine too.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I love you

**Kurt Hummel:**

I love you too

**Kitalene Bates **to **Thad Stevens: **Hey babe! Just want to remind you about that date of ours tonight. Can't wait for it! Should I wear the polka dotted dress or the stripped one?

**Thad Stevens: **Kit, about that, I think we need to have a talk.

**Kitalene Bates:** talk about what?

**Thad Stevens: **About something.

**Kitalene Bates: **About what, Thad, you're scaring me?

**Thad Stevens: **…about us…

**Kitalene Bates: **what about us?

**Thad Stevens: **Just PM me, please.

**Kitalene Bates: **NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT'S FUCKING WRONG WITH US FIRST!

**Thad Stevens: ***sighs*

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens <strong>went from being **in a relationship **to **single**

**Santana Lopez **and **Wes Yang **likes this

**Santana Lopez: **Finally!

**Wes Yang: **It's about fucking time!

**Thad Stevens: **Yeah…now I'm free…finally free…

**Santana Lopez: **You sound like you just come out of jail.

**Wes Yang: **You sound like you just pulled out your dick from a worn-out pussy.

**Thad Stevens: ****Santana Lopez **It felt like I did. **Wes Yang** You sound like **Jordan McClaine**, it's disgusting.

**Santana Lopez: **Well…speaking of the Sex Machine, go get your man!

**Thad Stevens: **But of course!

**Wes Yang:** Would you stop calling Jordan the Sex Machine?

**Santana Lopez: **Not until you prove the title is rightfully yours. ;)

**Wes Yang: **;) Oh hell yeah I'll prove that title is mine.

**Thad Stevens: **Leave my wall before you have sex here.

**Santana Lopez: **No promises. ;)

**Wes Yang **likes this

* * *

><p><strong>Trent Nicholson <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **BTW, I forgot to tell you, due to the talk about threesomes and Darren Criss, to take care of B.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thanks. I'll remember that.

**Blaine Anderson: **I assure you that we would take care of each other.

**Trent Nicholson: **Oh! I also forgot to tell you something B!

**Blaine Anderson: **What is it, Trent?

**Trent Nicholson: **Hurt or cheat on my brister…be prepared to be die through a mob of angry Starkids to be lead by my future husband, Joey freaking Ritcher!

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O What the-?

**Trent Nicholson: **Got that, B? Do. Not. Fuck. Up. Your. Relationship.

**Kurt Hummel: **Trent! Where did you get the sudden protectiveness with me?

**Trent Nicholson: **I just don't want your relationship to fail. I already cause too much to this relationship.

**Kurt Hummel: **And it won't. You don't need to threaten Blaine.

**Trent Nicholson: **I'm just saying as a friend.

**Blaine Anderson: **That was totally uncalled for, Trent. Really weird.

**Kurt Hummel: **Very weird.

**Trent Nicholson: **Okay fine, I 'am sorry. Anyways, congrats again. *signs off*

**Blaine Anderson: **That was really REALLY weird.

**Kurt Hummel: **Why do I feel a bad feeling about this?

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens <strong>to **Jordan McClaine: **Hey Jords, can we talk?

**Jordan McClaine: **No time to talk, need to talk to Klaine.

**Thad Stevens: **Why?

**Jordan McClaine: **I want to give them advice.

**Thad Stevens: **O_O Advice? About what?

**Jordan McClaine: **About how to maintain their relationship happy and stable.

**Thad Stevens: **O_O You? Give Advice? About relationships? Seriously?

**Jordan McClaine: **Why do you sound like you think what I'm going to do is crazy?

**Thad Stevens: **Because I think that what you're going to do is crazy. Since when do give advice about relationships?

**Jordan McClaine: **Since now.

**Thad Stevens: ***facepalm* Seriously, Jords. You've never been a relationship before.

**Jordan McClaine: **I have you know, I have been in a relationship before. Her name was Jane and it was in middle school.

**Thad Stevens: **Wow. I'm really surprised about that fact. You? With one person only? I'm surprised.

**Jordan McClaine: **Well, for your information Thad. I can be with one person.

**Thad Stevens: **And be faithful to that person only?

**Jordan McClaine: **Hell yeah. Wanna bet?

**Thad Stevens: **What do you propose?

**Jordan McClaine: **…let me think about it…I'll tell you later…

**Thad Stevens: **Okay. Are you still going through your plan?

**Jordan McClaine: **Hell yeah, Kurt and Blaine needs my knowledge and expertise when it comes to relationships.

**Thad Stevens: ***looks up to the sky* God helps us all.

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Since this is the first REAL relationship you two ever have in your whole homosexual life, as your caring, supportive, and sexy friend, I'm voluntarily giving you two some of my best pieces of advice from The Master, yours truly, that can help your relationship stay stable, stay in love, always happy, and sex to always reign peacefully. :)

**Blaine Anderson: **One question. Master? Seriously? MASTER? M-A-S-T-E-R?

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes, Master. It comes from Bation. Get it? Master…bation. Hehehe…a coincidence… Also, don't forget the "The". It should be The Master. THE MASTER. Keep repeating it in your head.

**Blaine Anderson: ***in a relationship facepalm* I won't do that. Also, that's not what I meant…

**Kurt Hummel: **What Blaine meant is, advice from you is like taking illegal drugs from an illegal drug dealer down a dark alley at the strike of midnight, right Blainers?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, I agree with Kurt, though not so much with the drug analogy…also I'm curious why my boyfriend can give a vague description like that…but that can be discussed another time…the point is…since when does **Jordan McClaine** , the sex addict of the Warblers and a known commitment phobic, give advice about relationships?

**Kurt Hummel: **Since when do you give advice about anything at all?

**Blaine Anderson: **I agree with Kurt. Since when?

**Jordan McClaine: **Since…just now

**Blaine Anderson: ***in a relationship facepalm* of course…

**Kurt Hummel: ***in a relationship facepalm* I'm not the least bit surprised. That just proves we shouldn't listen to any word from that mouth of yours.

**Blaine Anderson: **I agree with Kurt!

**Jordan McClaine: **You've been agreeing a lot with what Kurt says, Blainers…oh wait a minute…Of course you agree with Kurtsie Wurtsie! Since he gives you something REAL to masturbate to…instead of a picture of him in tight clothes!

**Blaine Anderson: **JORDAN!

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **Just speaking the truth man. Besides, Kurt, you agree with him because of the same fucking reason.

**Kurt Hummel: **That is none of your bees wax, Jordan!

**Blaine Anderson: **I will write it again…JORDAN JOHN McCLAINE!

**Jordan McClaine: **is handsome, sexy, hot, and right about your masturbatorial dreams

**Kurt Hummel: **LIKE if you ^don't agree^

**Blaine Anderson, Wes Yang, **and **945,944 **others likes this

**Jordan McClaine: **You are all FUCKBITCHES AND FUCKBASTARDS, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

**Kurt Hummel: **Another proof that we shouldn't listen to you. Only someone crazy like Wesley would listen to you.

**Wes Yang: **Offensive as ^that^ may sound, Kurt's got a point.

**Jordan McClaine: **BUTT OUT OF THIS, WESLEY!

**Blaine Anderson: **Again, I agree with Kurt…though not with the intention to have something to masturbate to.

**Jordan McClaine: **THAT IS A LIE! JUST LIKE HOUSE GETTING CANCELLED!

**Kurt Hummel: **Jordan…sadly…that's true…

**Jordan McClaine: **Do. Not. Remind. Me. I'm. Still. In. Denial.

**Blaine Anderson: **IKR? Everyone are…

**Kurt Hummel: **Why must the good tv show get cancelled?

**Jordan McClaine: **You know why it got cancelled? It got cancelled because two certain homosexuals who are in love with each other won't take advice from their hot and sexy friend full of knowledge and good advice about relationships!

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert raised eyebrow* That's got to be the most insane reason to cancel a famous tv show I've ever heard.

**Kurt Hummel: **I will call Fox network right now just so they can be the ones to yell at you for that foolish explanation of yours.

**Blaine Anderson: **Be scared, Jordan. Kurt doesn't joke around.

**Jordan McClaine: **Come on, guys! Take a chance on me!

**Kurt Hummel: ***sighs* Blaine, I think we should give him a chance.

**Blaine Anderson: **What? Why?

**Kurt Hummel: **Because he won't stop irritating and annoying us until we give in and I don't want to be annoyed and irritated right now since I'm finally happy and we're finally together.

**Jordan McClaine: **He's right. Irritating and Annoying are my middle names.

**Aaron Houghston: **O_O Your whole name is Jordan John Irritating Annoying McClaine? O_O

**Jordan McClaine: **Yes :)

**Aaron Houghston: **That. Is. SO COOL!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Jordan McClaine:** I'm not only COOL; I'm freaking HOT.

**Kurt Hummel: **I bet my perfect ass somewhere in the far state of California, Mark Zuckenberg is crying for such a ^statement^ to be posted on his website.

**Jordan McClaine: **As long as you bet your perfect ass, I agree with you. ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **HEY!

**Jordan McClaine: **You two should just agree on my advice! Come on! Take a chance on me.

**Kurt Hummel: **Fine. As if I have a choice.

**Blaine Anderson: **Since Kurt is agreeing, I might as well be.

**Jordan McClaine:** You two won't regret this, I swear and promise. :)

**Kurt Hummel: **We already do.

**Blaine Anderson **likes this

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Hudson <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **DUDE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

**Kurt Hummel: **Easy on the caps lock, Finn.

**Finn Hudson: **YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME TO BE EASY ON ANYTHING! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST FOUR DAYS?

**Kurt Hummel: **I've been with Blaine.

**Finn Hudson: **WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU AT LEAST CALL THAT YOU WERE WITH HIM?

**Kurt Hummel: **Because we were having our honeymoon.

**Finn Hudson: **O_O

**Noah Puckerman: **O_O

**Artie Abrams: **O_O

**Sam Evans: **O_O

**Mike Chang: **O_O Dude, you're married to Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O What? No!

**Finn Hudson: **THEN WHY DID YOU SAID YOU WERE HAVING A HONEYMOON?

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh guys, can I intervene?

**Artie Abrams: **The hell you can't manfucker.

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert offended look* manfucker? Seriously?

**Artie Abrams: **Manfucker. You fuck men. Can't have a simple explanation than that.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: **WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY BABY BROTHER!

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm older than you, Finn. Three months older.

**Finn Hudson: **WHATEVER!

**Kurt Hummel: **Also bigger in every way. ;)

**Noah Puckerman: **I see what you did there, Hummel.

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Finn Hudson: **O_O *insert brainfucked expression*

**Blaine Anderson: ***blushing*

**Noah Puckerman: **Get the fuck some, Anderson!

**Sam Evans: **Guys, specifically Finn, maybe we should let Blaine explain before we kill him for touching our Kurt.

**Noah Puckerman**, **Mike Chang**, **and Artie Abrams **likes this

**Sam Evans: **Do you agree Finn?

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah. BTW, fuck you Noah for putting that image in my head. You have no idea how many therapy sessions with Lord Tubbington I need to go to in order to get that image out of my head. MANY SESSIONS.

**Artie Abrams: ***facepalm*

**Mike Chang: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: **What's the problem?

**Noah Puckerman: **Dude, your therapist is Lord Tubbington?

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah. His sessions are free and he gives great advice.

**Noah Puckerman: **No wonder you're so fucked up. You get advice from a cat.

**Lord Tubbington: **meow meow meow meow memememeoww meow meow meow meow meeeeoowww meow me-oo-www (One does not simply judge a book by a cover. Just because I 'am a cat and owned by one Brittany S. Pierce does not mean I can't give advice that could lead to good choices for people like Finn Christopher Hudson.)

**Finn Hudson: **Wise words, Lord Tubbington. Sadly, they do judge so easily. That's the reason why my faith in humanity has vanished into thin air.

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow meow mmmmeeeoww…mememeow (Oh you poor humans…I feel so sorry for you.)

**Finn Hudson: **I know. I wish I was a cat.

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* My brother is talking to a cat and wishing to be a cat. WTF?

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow meow meow mmmmmeeeeow? (But you also talk to me, remember I talked you into getting together with Blaine?)

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah I remember and I'm thankful, don't get me wrong, but it's weird to see my BROTHER to talk to a cat.

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow meow meow (I understand )

**Artie Abrams: **Yow. The Hudmels are officially freaky. They are talking to a motherfucking cat.

**Finn Hudson: **Hey! Don't call Lord T a motherfucking cat! That's just rude!

**Kurt Hummel **likes this

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow meow meow meow (Thank you for protecting my dignity, Finn)

**Finn Hudson** likes this

**Artie Abrams: **Whatever. I thought this was an intervention to talk to Kurt and Blaine?

**Finn Hudson: **It is. Alright, I'm back to super protective older brother mode.

**Kurt Hummel: **Younger, Finn, younger brother.

**Finn Hudson: **WHATEVER! BLAINE, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER! IF YOU GOT HIM PREGNANT, I SWEAR I'LL RIP YOUR GELLED HAIR OFF!

**Blaine Anderson: **Relax Finn. Your brother is not pregnant and…will never be pregnant since a.) He's a boy and b.) we did not have sex. BTW, stay away from my hair!

**Noah Puckerman: **BLASPHEMY on not having sex! Why you no don't have sex? WHY?

**Finn Hudson: **Wait…gay men can't pregnant?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **Motherfucking duh!

**Mike Chang: **Asian Duh!

**Sam Evans: **No, Finn, gay men can't pregnant. Men generally cannot get pregnant due to having roosters and not cats.

**Artie Abrams: **Yow Trouty Mouth! My mind does not motherfucking compute about the roosters and the motherfucking cats. What does those two motherfuckers have to due to male pregnancies?

**Finn Hudson: **STOP SAYING MOTHERFUCKING CATS!

**Artie Abrams: **Whatever.

**Sam Evans: **Roosters = Cocks. Cats = Pussies. Understand now?

**Artie Abrams: **Hell yeah Thanks Trouty.

**Sam Evans: **Stop calling me Trouty Mouth.

**Artie Abrams: **The hell I won't, motherfucker.

**Sam Evans: **Then I'll call you PWD.

**Artie Abrams: **Now that's just insulting…

**Sam Evans: **And Trouty Mouth isn't?

**Artie Abrams:** Motherfucking No

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: **CAN WE GET TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND? SO, IF YOU DIDN'T GET MY BROTHER PREGNANT THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THAT HONEYMOON ALL ABOUT? YOU FUCKING DID NOT MARRY MY BABY BROTHER, RIGHT?

**Kurt Hummel: **Finn! I'm older than you!

**Finn Hudson: **NO ONE GIVES A CRAP KURT!

**Kurt Hummel: ***Looks insulted* Well…I never…

**Blaine Anderson: **Finn. Let me point it out. Kurt and I are not married…at least…not yet anyway ;)

**Kurt Hummel: ***blushing*

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

**Finn Hudson: **NOT YET ANYWAY! WHAT DOES THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!

**Kurt Hummel: **IT MEANS WERE DATING, FINN!

**Finn Hudson: **…wait, really?

**Kurt Hummel: **Why do you find that hard to believe?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah why?

**Finn Hudson: **I thought you guys were already dating. I'm surprised that you just started just now.

**Noah Puckerman: **Yeah. I'm surprised like how Finn's surprised. I thought you two were already getting it some.

**Sam Evans**, **Mike Chang**, and **90 **others likes this

**Noah Puckerman: **^See^ Proof that you two were basically dating for awhile now to us.

**Blaine Anderson: **Well I'll be goddamned.

**Artie Abrams: **Aren't you already motherfucking are? You fuck men, right?

**Blaine Anderson: ***insert middle finger pointed at Artie*

**Artie Abrams: **Whatever.

**Kurt Hummel: **Well…I don't know what to say to you guys but let me just say that we just started dating and the reason why I've been gone for four days is because Blaine and I just wanted to spend a few days marvelling that we're FINALLY together before the drama, aka the ND and the Warblers, gets in our relationship.

**Finn Hudson: **Oh…well that makes sense.

**Mike Chang: **Asian totally.

**Finn Hudson: **Well…since you two are dating. I guess I need to give Blaine the big brother talk.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **Finn, you are not my big brother. How many times do I need to tell this?

**Finn Hudson: ***ignoring Kurt* Blaine, Kurt has been my brother for months now and I've feel like he's been my brother my whole life so…he's my ohana…and one thing about ohana is that it means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten or something like that. Basically, I need to protect him. So, if you do something to hurt him like say…cheat on him…be assured that the next day a bullet will go through your head thanks to Burt's trusty shot gun to which I know where its location in our house.

**Kurt Hummel: **You do not. I hid specifically so no one knows.

**Finn Hudson: **You are underestimating me, Kurt.

**Artie Abrams: **That's because you're motherfucking easy to underestimate, Hello Kitty boxers.

**Finn Hudson: ***insert middle finger pointed at the motherfucker* I know Kurt. And I'm not afraid to use on that boyfriends of yours if he screws you over. You got that, Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh yeah…but rest assured Finn, I'll never hurt your brother. I love your brother so very much.

**Noah Puckerman: **^Cue the Awwwss^

**Artie Abrams: **That is so gay.

**Noah Puckerman: **Fuck you motherfucker

**Artie Abrams: **Everybody wants to :)

**Noah Puckerman: **That's because you're a motherfucker.

**Artie Abrams: **^Whatever^ Listen up here, manfucker. If you ever hurt Kurt, I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender and a fucking motherfucker in all 50 states, Canada, and Mexico. So…you better not hurt Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O I'll never hurt Kurt. I promise you.

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, you can actually do that?

**Artie Abrams: **Hell yeah

**Finn Hudson: **O_O Woah *mind blown*

**Artie Abrams: ***feels like a boss*

**Noah Puckerman: **Anderson, buddy. I like you since the first time Hummel introduce you to us. I can already sense that you two both wanted to get into each other's pants and I accepted that. Though I hate the fact that you never did get into each other's pants, that is such a huge shame. Now that you two are together though, I can be rest assured that you two WILL get into each other's pants and that I WILL get a copy of it. Do I make myself clear?

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **You will never get such a thing.

**Finn Hudson: **DUDE! Please don't ask them to make a porno for you. That is just nasty!

**Noah Puckerman: **To me, that is not nasty. Sex is sex.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh it's nasty. What would you do if Rachel finds out that you want a porn video from us?

**Noah Puckerman: ***insert like you just saw your worst nightmare* On second thought, let me just point out Anderson, I've been with a lot of cougars and they are nice enough do me some favors. I can totally ask them to hurt you. And you know cougars are bad. Very bad so…don't mess with Hummel, you don't mess with cougars. Got that, prep boy?

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah…I get it…but you'll never get a video from us.

**Noah Puckerman: ** Yeah…damn Hummel for his ways.

**Kurt Hummel: **:) *insert smirk*

**Sam Evans: **I think I'm the only sane ND here because of what I'll say. Blaine, I know you're a good guy and have been a good friend of Kurt ever since he transferred there so, I'm sure that you'll take care of him. I'm happy that you two are together and you two make each other happy and there's nothing else I can ask to you guys but to love each other more every day and to make your relationship meaningful to both of you.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thank you, Samuel. At least you're still relatively sane unlike the other boys.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah Sam, thanks. I wish you would find someone who can appreciate you soon.

**Sam Evans: **I hope so.

**Mike Chang: **Blaine, I have something to say to you too.

**Kurt Hummel: **Enough, Michael. Blaine's had enough.

**Blaine Anderson: **It's okay, Kurt. I've lived through the others, why can't I live through Mike's?

**Kurt Hummel: **Because he's Asian.

**Mike Chang: ^**RACISM!^

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt meant that in a nice way. What do you want to tell me?

**Mike Chang:** I'll just basically kick your ass, Asian style, if you ever hurt Kurt. Got it?

**Blaine Anderson: **I got it but what do you mean Asian style?

**Mike Chang: **I'll let you ponder on that.

**Blaine Anderson: **…okay…

**Finn Hudson: **Blaine, you better not hurt my baby brother. Or else, you'll die.

**Blaine Anderson: **Yes. I understand.

**Kurt Hummel: **ENOUGH! First of all, I love you guys for being protective of me but you're scaring Blaine. I love him. He loves me. I won't hurt him. He won't hurt me. Got it? Second of all, I'm THREE MONTHS OLDER THAN YOU FINN! DEAL WITH IT!

**Finn Hudson: **But I'm taller!

**Kurt Hummel: **But I'm still older so I'm the big brother and you're the baby brother. Deal with it.

**Finn Hudson: **wants to crawl under a rock because of **Kurt Hummel **.

**Noah Puckerman: **^What a wuss ^

**Finn Hudson: **Fuck you, Puckerman. Consider our friendship over. :P

**Noah Puckerman: **You sound like a wuss AND a girl with that friendship over crap.

**Artie Abrams: **You just got ^PAWNED^ , Hello Kitty boxers and Feline Whisperer!

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones:<strong>

Hello Prep Boy

**Blaine Anderson:**

Hello to you too, Mercedes. May I guess why you suddenly PMing me?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Be my guest

**Blaine Anderson:**

You're going to threaten me that you'll hurt me if I ever hurt Kurt. Am I right or am I wrong?

**Mercedes Jones:**

You're right. But you forgot that I would be PMing you to congratulate you for finally telling White Boy about your feelings for him.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well thanks and I'm happy I finally had the courage to tell him.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I'm happy for you two and I hope that you two would be good to each other.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Of course we would be good to each other. We love each other.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Also, I just want to point that if you do hurt him, I would kick your Prep Boy White Ass and cut you inside and out, alright?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Alright.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Why don't you sound scared?

**Blaine Anderson: **

The ND boys and some of the Warblers have already threatened me numerous times so…I'm not that surprised that my life is in jeopardy when it comes to Kurt. Besides, as if I would hurt Kurt.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I know you won't because you won't want to mess with me.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Of course. Thanks for looking out for my Kurt.

**Mercedes Jones:**

Awww…you're already calling each other your others. So freaking cute!

**Blaine Anderson:**

**Mercedes Jones:**

BTW, just remember to use protection, okay?

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O What?

**Mercedes Jones:**

Protection. As in condoms.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know what you meant. But why would you say that?

**Mercedes Jones:**

I don't believe if the thought of fucking Kurt never came into your mind.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Of course it has. I think everyone who knows Kurt at some point thought of that. I mean, have you seen his hips?

**Mercedes Jones:**

You bet your sweet prep boy white ass, that's true.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Still, Kurt and I aren't in that stage in our relationship and I don't want our relationship to be just physical. I want it to mean something and for us to make it, especially in the future. I don't want what we have to be called just a high school romance, you know?

**Mercedes Jones:**

I know and I understand. You two would make it. I believe in you two.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Thank you.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I also believe in three months or less, you'll have your cock stuck in his ass.

**Blaine Anderson:**

MERCEDES!

**Mercedes Jones:**

What? Just speaking the truth.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You sound like David.

**Mercedes Jones:**

I know :)

**Blaine Anderson:**

You two really are perfect for each other.

**Mercedes Jones:**

And so are you and Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson:**

**Mercedes Jones:**

* * *

><p><strong>Quinn Fabray <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **Kurt! Blaine! It's been a long time since we had a chat!

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah…Blaine and I intended to separate ourselves from the crazy that is New Directions and Warblers.

**Blaine Anderson: **Besides, we knew that the moment we publically acknowledge our relationship, total chaos would ensure.

**Quinn Fabray: **I can see that from the Warblers' statuses…

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine, we seriously need to talk them about that.

**Blaine Anderson: **I kinda like it. It reminds me that I'm not dreaming all of what's happened for the past few days and that I'm really the boyfriend of the man I've been in love with for months and the man I'm meant for.

**Wes Yang **and **Quinn Fabray **likes this

**Quinn Fabray: **Awww…Blaine…that was so sweet…so jealous of you, Kurt. You get the boyfriend who would post teeth-rottening comments that makes everyone swoon while I get a boyfriend who's addicted to Halo and Diablo…

**Artie Abrams: **Don't you hate Halo, woman!

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert blush* Well…I'm lucky that of all the men in the world, he chose me…

**Quinn Fabray: **I 'am so happy for you, Kurt. You deserve someone nice and loving like Blaine.

**Kurt Hummel: **Thanks Quinn

**Quinn Fabray: **Blaine, may I tell you something? Even if it's a little wrong or crazy?

**Blaine Anderson: **Of course you can Quinn. Besides, you're a proper lady, how can you say something crazy?

**Quinn Fabray: **Alright…IF you ever hurt Kurt in any way, BLAINE EVERETT ANDERSON, I can get Artie…or my 100 other ex-boyfriends to take care of you…if you know what I mean… *insert threatening look*

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O Not you too

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't know what she means.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: **BTW, Vote Quinn Fabray for Prom Queen! Don't forget! Remember, I have estrogen! *signs out*

**Blaine Anderson: **What the hell was that about?

**Kurt Hummel: **I think you've forgotten that Quinn's middle name is C-R-A-Z-Y

**Blaine Anderson: **Wait a minute…I thought it was Quinn since Lucy is her first name. I remember her telling us that she goes by the name Quinn because of a mysterious secret from her past that she won't tell us over her teenage body?

**Kurt Hummel: ***In a relationship facepalm* you're lucky you're attractive and have a nice voice…

**Blaine Anderson: **What's that supposed to mean?

**Kurt Hummel: **...It means I love you

**Blaine Anderson: ** I love you too!

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Blaine Anderson: **Not killing the moment here or anything but I just notice, we're not studying in McKinley yet Quinn's telling us to vote for her for Prom Queen…how the hell are we going to vote for her if we're studying in another school.

**Kurt Hummel: **Just remember her middle name, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Quinn?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: **It's Crazy, Blainey.

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh

**Kurt Hummel: **For the first time, Aaron is right.

**Aaron Houghston: **I don't want to be right.

**Kurt Hummel: **Why not?

**Aaron Houghston: **Because I want to be left, duh!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Tina Cohen-Chang <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Listen up here, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay…

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I might be the most quiet and most un-used person in ND but let me point out, I'm Asian. And Asians are known for one thing and one thing only…

**Blaine Anderson: **What? Don't leave me here hanging!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I'll let you ponder on that. But while you're at it, just remember. I'm Asian and you don't mess with Asians. Got it?

**Blaine Anderson: **…Yeah…I got it…

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **You don't mess with the Asians!

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel Berry <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **Kurt! I missed you!

**Kurt Hummel: **I missed you too, Rachel. Even though I constantly fight with you with solos and boys, I did miss you.

**Blaine Anderson:** is sad that **Rachel Berry **did not miss him.

**Rachel Berry: **Of course I missed you Blaine! How can I not miss the perfect match for my best friend?

**Blaine Anderson: **Awww…shucks…I missed you too.

**Rachel Berry: **You two gave us quite a fright with disappearing for four days.

**Kurt Hummel: **Well, we need to get away from the crazy.

**Blaine Anderson: **Crazy aka New Directions and the Warblers.

**Rachel Berry: **I get it. I wish I could disappear like that for a few days.

**Santana Lopez: **We would love it if you disappear completely. Heck, we would throw a party once that happens.

**Rachel Berry: **Shut up, Lopez!

**Santana Lopez: **Make me, Midget!

**Blaine Anderson: **Hey woah! Break it up you two! I don't want any fights happening right now. I 'AM IN MY HAPPY PLACE AND WITH THE MAN I LOVE SO NO ONE AND NOTHING CAN BREAK THAT AT LEAST TODAY! ARE WE CLEAR?

**Santana Lopez: **Since when we're you the boss?

**Blaine Anderson: **Since I got dibs on Kurt's ass and hips.

**Rachel Berry: **He has a point.

**Santana Lopez: **Damn lucky Overly-hair gelled Midget.

**Blaine Anderson: **:) You bet your bitch ass I'm lucky.

**Santana Lopez: **This is not over, Man hands.

**Rachel Berry: **And it won't be over until I have you tied up on bed posts, begging and pleading for release but I won't let you. I'll let you suffer.

**Santana Lopez: **Bring it on, bitch.

**Jordan McClaine: **Can I just interrupt and say one thing? ^Kinky much^

**Noah Puckerman: **Can I also add ^Wanky^

**Wes Yang: **Can I also add ^Hot as Hell^

**David Thompson: **Can I also add ^Bow Chicka Bow Wow^

**Artie Abrams: **Can I also add ^I hope that motherfucking thing happens and that someone would video tape it and post on the net. I would be eternally greatful^

**Rachel Berry: **WOULD ALL OF YOU LEAVE MY WALL POST EXCEPT FOR KURT AND BLAINE! Please?

**Noah Puckerman: **Alright we're going.

**Rachel Berry: **Anyway, I want to talk to you guys about something.

**Kurt Hummel: **About what?

**Rachel Berry: **About how much I support your relationship since my own parents are gay and I've watched them grow over the years and their love for each other has never faded way and continues to grow and grow and grow and…did I mention grow? I hope that happens to you two too and I'm certain it would. You two are the perfect couple.

**Blaine Anderson: **Well thank you Rachel. That's very nice of you.

**Kurt Hummel: **And very unlikely of you.

**Rachel Berry: **I love the gays! And you two are my best gays so you two becoming a couple is a score for me. Besides, I can be nice sometimes, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **Really? O_O

**Rachel Berry: **Really.

**Blaine Anderson: **Thanks again, Rachel. You really made me smile with what you said.

**Rachel Berry: **I also need to tell you something, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay…

**Rachel Berry: **Although your star quality may be overwhelmingly complementing to mine…

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay…

**Rachel Berry: **…and we would be the better couple since our voices mixes better than your voice and Kurt…

**Kurt Hummel: **Bitch please, my voice is fabulous.

**Blaine Anderson: **^I agree^ but continue Rachel…

**Rachel Berry: **…Kurt is my best friend…

**Kurt Hummel: **Well duh

**Rachel Berry: **...and if you hurt him, I will ensure that you will lose that perfect angelic voice of yours… …never be able to belt a note ever again, Blaine Warbler.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O God, not you too! Is everyone going to threaten me today!

**Rachel Berry: **Yes. Also, I 'am not kidding.

**Kurt Hummel: **Bitch please, you so are.

**Rachel Berry: **No I'm not. *insert mysterious and scary voice*

**Kurt Hummel: **WTF?

* * *

><p><strong>Brittany S. Pierce <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **DOLPHIN! Other other Asian told me to greet you HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday?

**Kurt Hummel: **My birthday?

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt's birthday is months from now, Britt.

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm* Britt, I didn't say Happy Birthday. I said HAPPY #**Klaine Day :))))) **

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Oh…HAPPY **#Klaine Day :))))) **

**Wes Yang: **That's good, Britt. Very good.

**Blaine Anderson: **Wesley, would you please stop asking people to post about us?

**Wes Yang: **As your number one supporter, I cannot do that. :)

**Kurt Hummel: **I think you misspelled stalker with supporter, Wesley.

**Wes Yang: **I don't care if I'm called a stalker or a supporter, as long as I spread around the amazingness and perfection that is Klaine, I don't give a fucking damn.

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm* Oh Wesley, I get headache when I'm talking to you.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Dolphin? Why do I need to greet you with Happy **#Klaine Day :))))) **?

**Kurt Hummel: **Because other other Asian is happy that Blaine and I are finally together and wants to spread the word to others.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **…I don't get it….

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Well…let me explain again…

**Aaron Houghston: **Kurtie! Let me explain to Brittany! Please please please!

**Kurt Hummel: **Knock yourself out, Aaron.

**Aaron Houghston: **Why do I need to knock at myself? Isn't knocking for doors only? O_O

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* I'm sorry, Aaron. My mistake. What I meant to say is, please explain everything to Britt.

**Aaron Houghston: **Okay!

**Aaron Houghston: **Brittany, I'll explain this very carefully.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Okay.

**Aaron Houghston: **Kurtie…and…Blainers…sitting…in…a…tree…K…I…S…S…I…N…G… Got it?

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Oh…I get it! Dolphin and Dolphin's dolphin are together! Am I right?

**Wes Yang: **WTF?

**Kurt Hummel: **Well I'll be Criss-damned.

**Blaine Anderson: **^NOT HIM AGAIN!^

**Aaron Houghston: **Did I do well, Kurtie?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes, Aaron, you did well.

**Aaron Houghston: **:)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Dolphin! You and Dolphin's dolphin are together! Yehey! Now, you can make Klaine babies!

**Kurt Hummel: **Uh…

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Can I be the fairy godmother, Kurtie?

**Aaron Houghston: **Hey! If Brittany's the fairy godmother, I want to be the fairy godfather!

**Wes Yang: **That is my title, Aaron!

**Aaron Houghston: **No! It's mine!

**Blaine Anderson: **Woah guys, there aren't any Klaine babies yet and already you guys are fighting like animals. There's plenty of room to be the godfathers of our kids, right Kurtie? ;)

**Kurt Hummel: ***blushes* Right Blaine

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

**Kurt Hummel: **:)

**Blaine Anderson: **:)

**Wes Yang: **Still, just want to point out, I'm a godfather, no matter what happens.

**Aaron Houghston: **Don't forget me!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **And me! I want to be the fairy godmother!

* * *

><p><strong>Brittany S. Pierce <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Dolphin's dolphin?

**Blaine Anderson:** Yes Britt?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Don't ever hurt Dolphin.

**Blaine Anderson: **Of course I would never hurt Dolphin. I love him.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **And always hold hands with him because he has baby hands.

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm planning to do just that, Britt.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **And make sure to kiss him a lot because he is an amazing kisser! Way better than Lord Tubbington.

**Lord Tubbington: **MEOW! (HEY!)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **If you'd ever kissed Dolphin, you would agree with me, Lord T.

**Lord Tubbington: **Meow meow meo-w (Maybe but I'm still a better kisser than other guys)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Of course you are!

**Blaine Anderson: **Britt, I promise you that I would kiss Kurt every day.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Pinky promise?

**Blaine Anderson: **Pinky promise?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Don't also forget to tell him I love you everyday.

**Blaine Anderson: ** I won't forget.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **But if you forget or if you hurt him, I'll ask Lord Tubbington to scratch your eyes out. Did you know Lord T's claws are as long as Big Puckerman? You don't want to mess with that.

**Blaine Anderson: Lord Tubbington: **Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow (Of course I believe you, Blainers. I did get you and Kurt together. You know how protective Brittany is with Kurt so I understand that she would use me to threaten you. Rest assured, no claws of mine would ever lay a finger on your eyes. This is a cat's promise.)

**Blaine Anderson: **I'm sorry but I don't speak Catanese.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **He said he won't hurt you as long as you don't hurt Kurt.

**Blaine Anderson: **Okay, I get that.

**Brittany S. Pierce:** Promise me you'll never hurt Kurt?

**Blaine Anderson: **I promise

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Pinky swear?

**Blaine Anderson: ***sighs* Pinky swear

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Great! Now go make some Klaine babies!

**Wes Yang **and **Aaron Houghston **likes this

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Santana Lopez <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Hello Blaine

**Blaine Anderson: **Hello to you too! And may I say, this is the first time you called me Blaine instead of Hobbit or Frodo or Prep Boy or any insulting name your bitch mind can come up with.

**Santana Lopez: **Is Porcelain online?

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh…no…he on his way home. After four days with me, I'm pretty sure he misses his family. Why you ask?

**Santana** **Lopez**: Well since the coast is clear…

**Blaine Anderson: **What do you mean the coast is clear?

**Santana Lopez: **Listen here hobbit and Frodo look-alike. I may seem like I don't care about anyone but myself, and that's mostly true, but there are a couple people in this world that I do actually look out for. Now, you already put lady face through hell by dating that pedophile from the GAP that I have no idea how you even found attractive at some point of your gay life, making a retarded deal with another gargler who is plainly just the most stupid man I've ever met, and basically taking a million years to get your fucking act together. Now, that's obviously because all that gunk on top of your head that you call your hair but I call it black-colored crap has seeped into your brain and done infinite untold damage that no one in the whole fucking world can fix. But now you're finally FINALLY together, I'm gonna give you a little warning, Santana style:

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O Okay…I might be used to threats now but that just…wow… O_O

**Santana Lopez: **If you hurt Kurt in any way, if you break his heart, if you use him for sex or as arm candy, then I am gonna get Lima Heights all over your pretty boy ass, and do you know what kinds of things go down in Lima Heights Adjacent?

**Blaine** **Anderson**: Erm... bad ones?

**Santana** **Lopez**: Very -_-

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O Santana…you're really scary right now.

**Santana Lopez: **Good. So, you better not fuck up your relationship with Lady Face, comprede?

**Blaine Anderson:** Uh…Comprede

**Santana Lopez: **Good…BTW, congratulations to the two of you. *insert huge bitch grin*

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh…thanks I think…

**Santana Lopez: **You're welcome, hobbit

**Blaine Anderson: **Excuse me while I go hug my teddy bear, Kurt CoBlaine…

**Santana Lopez: ***insert confused look* you have a teddy bear named Kurt CoBlaine. Damn, you two are SICKENINGLY ADORABLE, the next time I need to vomit my lunch, I'll call you two.

* * *

><p><strong>Kitalene Bates <strong>to **Thad Stevens: **Thad, I need to talk to you.

**Thad Stevens: **We already talked, Kit. It's over between us.

**Kitalene Bates: **Not only to you hear what I need to tell you.

**Thad Stevens: **What do you mean?

**Kitalene Bates: **We can't talk on Facebook. We need to talk in person. Go to Crawford now.

**Thad Stevens: **I don't know, Kit, we already broken up!

**Kitalene Bates: **Trust me, you want to hear what I need to tell you.

**Thad Stevens: **Fine, I'll be there as fast Kim Kardashian's marriage with Chris Humprey lasted.

* * *

><p>(After 2 hours passed)<p>

**Sue Sylvester to Blaine Anderson: **We need to talk, Young Burt Reynolds. PM me now or else.

**Blaine Anderson:** How can you post something on my wall without being friends with me?

**Sue Sylvester: ***insert very scary voice* Do you really want to ask me that or you will listen to what I just asked you to?

**Kurt Hummel: **Coach Sylvester, what are you doing with my boyfriend?

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, please save me.

**Sue Sylvester: **Well well well…Porcelain, it's been a long time since we talked.

**Kurt Hummel: **I was trying to avoid the crazy but apparently I'm a crazy magnet.

**Sue Sylvester: **…based from the statuses of many of your prep boys in that gay school of yours, it has come upon my attention that you and that love child of Schuester and hair gel are now what the kids today call "a thing". Is this true? And if so, do you love each other?

**Kurt Hummel: **Yes coach. BTW, he has a name. He's name is Blaine and not the love child of Mr. Schuester and hair gel, how is that even possible? Blaine is my boyfriend and I 'am his and we love each other very dearly.

**Sue Sylvester: **Alright… Clark Kent, do what I told you. PM me or else.

**Kurt Hummel: **But Coach! I already answered your questions. What do you need Blaine for?

**Sue Sylvester: **Leave us be, Porcelain. I'm not going to hurt him.

**Kurt Hummel: **I doubt that.

**Blaine Anderson: **Kurt, it's okay. Just stay online in case something happens.

**Kurt Hummel: **Coach, please don't hurt my boyfriend.

**Sue Sylvester: **Trust me. I'm one Sue Sylvester. I know what I'm doing.

**Kurt Hummel: **Actually you don't and you're crazy.

**Sue Sylvester: **You have no proof or evidence of that that can be used in the state of Ohio.

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert confused look* Just don't hurt my boyfriend.

**Sue Sylvester:** Of course.

* * *

><p><strong>Burt Hummel <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **Kurt! What's these fucking statuses and talks I've been reading about you and Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel: **O_O Dad? I thought you and Carole were in Chicago for that mechanics convention?

**Burt Hummel: **We are but while we were waiting in our hotel room, she logged into Facebook and immediately saw your status change…

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh

**Burt Hummel: **Mind telling me what is going on? Because as far as I remember, you said you Warblers are going on a fieldtrip for four days. How come now I hear there was no such fieldtrip?

**Kurt Hummel:** It's a very long story dad.

**Burt Hummel: **I have time. Tell me now.

**Kurt Hummel: **This is going to be a long and embarrassing night…

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson:<strong>

Coach Sylvester? Are you here?

**Sue Sylvester: **

Of course I'm here, Clark Kent. Where do you think I'll be? Mars?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Sorry. Just making sure.

**Sue Sylvester:**

Listen here Poodle. Do you know who I 'am? Do you know that I 'am a American renowned cheerleading coach and champion? Do you know that I won seven consecutive national titles in the field of cheerleading?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Yes. Kurt told me all that, but I also know that you are possibly insane. Kurt told me to stay away from you or I'll end up with numerous pains throughout my body or possible psychological trauma.

**Sue Sylvester: **

Smart advice. Porcelain has always been my smartest. Oh my Sweet Porcelain, he always been my favourite and my best. You have no idea how good my Porcelain is.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Actually…uh…I do…sort of…um…know…*blushes*

**Sue Sylvester:**

Hormonal teens these days…they'll be the cost of the world ending. Either that or the plan of the little people in Schuester's hair to invade the world.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Uh…okay…

**Sue Sylvester:**

You have no idea how much Porcelain has dealt with. He was hurt too much here and I still regret that I never helped him anyway.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I know that Kurt went through a lot in McKinley. I know that he got hurt many times. But I won't let ANTHING happen to him and I will NEVER hurt him. EVER.

**Sue Sylvester**:

You better now or if you do, *insert threatening tone* I will go to a department store and into its clothing section…I will get you a thousand bowties…I will let you wear and fall in love with those bowties…then, on one dark cold and stormy night…I'll steal away your house and punch you right in face…and report to the police that you have sexually molested a virgin like me thereby imprisoning you for life.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O

**Sue Sylvester:**

That's good. Very good. Excellent. You should be scared. What do you have to say for yourself?

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O

**Sue Sylvester:**

What's the problem, Young Burt Reynolds, one Sue Sylvester got your tongue?

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O

**Sue Sylvester:**

Didn't you see what I asked? What do you have to say for yourself?

**Blaine Anderson:**

…you're…a…virgin? O_O

**Sue Sylvester:**

*insert scary and angry tone, the tone she uses when she screams in her megaphone.*OUT OF ALL WHAT I SAID, THAT'S WHAT YOU ASK ME? ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT MIND?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Shouldn't I be the one to ask you if you are in the right mind? Also, that's not the only question I have. Would you really buy me a thousand bowties? Would you really let me fall in love with those bowties? Would you let me pick the bowties? Can I bring Kurt along? Are you really a virgin? I think you're lying but are you? If so, why?

**Sue Sylvester: **

…

**Blaine Anderson:**

What's wrong, coach? One Blaine Anderson got your tongue? Or are you surprised that I'm not scared with you punching me in the face and reporting me to the authorities for molesting you?

**Sue Sylvester: **

…

**Sue Sylvester:**

You know what hobbit. I have underestimated you. For me, you are just like Butt Chin. The hair gel clouds one's mind and he's mind is so clouded he is a manwhore. I thought you would be like him. I stand to be mistaken. I can one thing. I like you. I definitely like you. You definitely have spunk and guts and I like it. If you were taller instead of being the hobbit you are, I would ask you to be in my team.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Um…Thank you, coach.

**Sue Sylvester:**

Don't thank me.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oops…sorry…

**Sue Sylvester: **

Can I trust you that you can take care of my Porcelain?

**Blaine Anderson: **

You can trust me, coach.

**Sue Sylvester:**

Good.

**Sue Sylvester:**

Hobbit?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes coach?

**Sue Sylvester:**

Talk back to me again and I will cut that tongue of yours ensuring you that you will never get to taste Porcelain ever. And I'm sure you won't like that.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O Okay. THAT scares me. I promise coach, I won't ever do that again.

**Sue Sylvester: **

Good. Also, hobbit?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes?

**Sue Sylvester:**

This PM never happened. Clear?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Crystal.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>

Okay dad, I already explained to you everything. Now, please don't you dare take out the shot gun the minute you get back from Chicago.

**Burt Hummel: **

Let me be the judge of that after I talk to that boyfriend of yours.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Dad no! O_O

* * *

><p><strong>(AN: Insert interrogating voice for Burt Hummel to add to the fun. Also, terrified voice to Blaine. )**

**Burt Hummel:**

Hello Blaine

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O Uh…hello sir…

**Burt Hummel:**

I understand that you and my son are dating now.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes sir…four days now…

**Burt Hummel:**

I also understand that you two were absent for four days and spent those days at your house.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes…that is very true sir…um…uh…we wanted to talk about our relationship in a quiet place…

**Burt Hummel:**

For four days? That seems to be a lot of talking…a lot of tongue…

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O Uh…yeah…we needed to…to…to talk a lot.

**Burt Hummel:**

*insert raised eyebrow*

**Blaine Anderson:**

*insert frightened expression*

**Burt Hummel:**

Blaine, you understand I'm a protective father, right?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Of course, sir…

**Burt Hummel:**

And do you know how much I love my son?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes sir. Very much sir.

**Burt Hummel:**

Very. Very much. So…I would go to the far ends of the world to protect my kid.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Of course sir.

**Burt Hummel:**

I can even kill for him, if that's what it takes to protect him from evil people. *insert image of him holding a shot gun*

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O

**Burt Hummel:**

Did you know that I own a Browning BT - 99 trap gun?

**Blaine Anderson:**

No…but now I do…

**Burt Hummel:**

Good. It's good you know. Blaine?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes Mr. Hummel?

**Burt Hummel:**

We need to talk.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Aren't we already talking sir?

**Burt Hummel:**

We need to talk face to face, upclose.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O Um…yes sir, we absolutely need to.

**Burt Hummel:**

I'll be home in 24 hours. Please go to our house then. Do I make myself clear?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Yes sir, absolutely clear sir.

**Burt Hummel:**

Good. I see you tomorrow.

**Blaine Anderson:**

…looking forward to it, sir…

**Burt Hummel:**

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel:<strong>

Dad, what did you do to my boyfriend?

**Burt Hummel:**

Keep your pants on, son. I didn't do anything…at least anything bad.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Dad, please don't tell me you told him about your shotgun.

**Burt Hummel:**

Okay…I didn't tell him about my shotgun.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Really?

**Burt Hummel:**

Of course I told him!

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Dad!

**Burt Hummel:**

What? Blaine should know who is in power here and nothing says power than owning a shotgun who's shots are silent as the wind.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*facepalm* Dad, please don't scare my boyfriend away.

**Burt Hummel:**

I won't, son. But let your old man have some fun interrogating and making a boy pee his pants. This might my only chance of doing that since the story you told me tells me that he would be someone who'll know for a very long time.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Unless you kill him, you won't know him for a long time.

**Burt Hummel:**

I won't kill him. I promise you, son.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Good.

**Burt Hummel:**

BTW, you two are going to have dinner at our house tomorrow. Okay?

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Oh Holy Fashion Trinity that is Gucci Prada and Marc Jacobs O_O I'm going to die tomorrow.

**Burt Hummel:**

* * *

><p><strong>Meg Monaghan: <strong>

Okay, Kit, we seriously need to talk…

**Kitalene Bates: **

Talk about what? Please don't tell me this is an intervention or something. Cause I don't have a problem…unlike some people *cough* ^boyfriend stealer^ *cough*

**Meg Monaghan: **

*insert bitch glare* I'll to talk to you about ^that^ later. Right now, this is sort of an intervention…

**Kitalene Bates: **

…But I don't have any problems…at least…not that I know of…

**Meg Monaghan: **

*insert bitch please meme* Bitch please, you have LOADS of problems. But right now, I just want to clarify something…

**Kitalene Bates: **

Okay…go ahead…seems important…

**Meg Monaghan: **

I heard a nasty rumor of some sorts…about you…

**Kitalene Bates: **

Really? What's the rumor about? Is it me being fat?

**Meg Monaghan:**

No

**Kitalene Bates:**

Is it me becoming poor?

**Meg Monaghan:**

No

**Kitalene Bates:**

Is it about me dying of some sorts?

**Meg Monaghan:**

No

**Kitalene Bates:**

Is it about me being an Asian?

**Meg Monaghan:**

No…and that is truly racist…

**Kitalene Bates:**

Is it about me being a fan of Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black, Nicki Minaj, or Twilight?

**Meg Monaghan:**

No…and that is just retarded girl

**Kitalene Bates:**

Is it about me being a pain in the ass to everyone?

**Meg Monaghan:**

Kit, that's not a rumor. That's true.

**Kitalene Bates:**

Bullcrap!

**Meg Monaghan:**

Just speaking the truth girl.

**Kitalene Bates:**

*insert talk to the hand pose* Then, what the hell is the rumor about? Meg, I'm NOT a mind reader.

**Meg Monaghan:**

*facepalm* I can see that…CLEARLY…did you and Thad…did it?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Did what?

**Meg Monaghan:**

*faceplant* Do I even need to spell it out to you?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Since I don't get what you're talking about…yes…

**Meg Monaghan:**

*double faceplant* F-O-R-N-I-C-A-T-E-D

**Kitalene Bates:**

*reading* F…O…R…N…I…C…A…T…E…D…oh! Fornicated! Fornicated? You mean sex? Girl, why can't you say sex, did you know you live in the twenty-first century? Back to what we're talking about, you're asking if Thad and I fornicated, aren't you?

**Meg Monaghan:**

*insert sarcasm* No…I'm talking if you and Thad were celibate…

**Kitalene Bates:**

I don't get it…

**Meg Monaghan:**

*triple faceplant* …remind me why we are friends again?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Because our rich parents are?

**Meg Monaghan:**

RRRIIGGGHHHHTTT…I always need to be reminded of that to continue. Of course, I'm asking if you and Thad had sex…well?

**Kitalene Bates: **

…yeah…I did have sex with Thad. What's it to you?

**Meg Monaghan:**

I'm a concerned friends even though I still need to be reminded why we are friends in the first place. So, is the rumor about you pregnant real? And Thad's the father?

**Kitalene Bates:**

O_O Wow, rumors spread so fast. It's like a disease or an internet sensation…

**Meg Monaghan:**

OMG! You really are pregnant! O_O

**Kitalene Bates:**

*insert bitch please meme* Bitch please, me? Pregnant? You've got to be kidding me…

**Meg Monaghan:**

Wait…now I'm confused. Most of the girls at school confirmed that you're pregnant. They heard you and Thad talking about a pregnancy test being positive…

**Kitalene Bates:**

Let me explain. I might be stupid sometimes-

**Meg Monaghan:**

*insert raised eyebrow* Might? SOMETIMES?

**Kitalene Bates:**

*glares at her friend* Fine, I'm mostly stupid at times but when it comes to getting what I want…I'm a fucking genius.

**Meg Monaghan:**

What is that supposed to mean?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Thad broke up with me days ago. And you know why?

**Meg Monaghan:**

No. No I don't. *insert sarcasm*

**Kitalene Bates:**

It's because of that bastard and son of a bitch known as Jordan McClaine.

**Meg Monaghan:**

Who is Jordan McClaine?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Thad's best friend and the man he is in love with.

**Meg Monaghan:**

Oh my Gawd! Thad's capital G-A-Y? O_O

**Kitalene Bates:**

No.

**Meg Monaghan:**

No? Then why is he in love with- Oh…he is bi-curious like Lindsay Lohan?

**Kitalene Bates:**

Correct. He says he was always bi, ever since he turned twelve…I can't believe I didn't see it. I have impeccable gaydar…

**Meg Monaghan:**

I'm sorry, Kit. I know how much he means to you.

**Kitalene Bates:**

Why should you be sorry? He is forever mine.

**Meg Monaghan:**

Okay. I'm confused again. How can he be forever yours if he is in love with another guy?

**Kitalene Bates:**

He is tied up with me forever because of our baby.

**Meg Monaghan:**

I thought you weren't pregnant?

**Kitalene Bates:**

I'm not.

**Meg Monaghan:**

Then how can he be tied up with- … oh…

**Kitalene Bates:**

Get it now, Meg?

**Meg Monaghan:**

Kit, you are E-V-I-L. You are a smart evil girl…a true menacing genius…Gawd! I'm disgusted by you fooling a man to get him. This plan is so going to back fire at you. And I'm not gonna stick around and watch it back fire at you. Megan out! *sign out*

**Kitalene Bates:**

Whatever Meg. I don't need you anyway. Jordan doesn't stand a chance with me. Thad is a responsible man and would choose me over that son of a bitch because of the baby.

**Kitalene Bates:**

He is mine. And only mine. Muhahahahahahahaha *insert evil laugh*

**Meg Monaghan:**

*signs in once more* BTW, I think you're nuts.

**Kitalene Bates:**

And I think you are cheapskate little whore!

**Meg Monaghan:**

A fake pregnant nut beats a cheapskate little whore ANYDAY! *signs out*

**Kitalene Bates:**

FINE! Be that way! You are so not invited to the Bates annual tea party!

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine <strong>to **Blaine Anderson: **Are you two prepared for my amazing and masterful relationship advice?

**Blaine Anderson: **We're prepared to laugh our asses off, if that's what you're asking…

**Kurt Hummel: **…or seek psychological advice after…

**Jordan McClaine:** You two are underestimating the Master.

**Blaine Anderson: **You can't blame us.

**Kurt Hummel: **Start your advice or speech or whatever, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine: **Okay. Before I do, can we PM?

**Kurt Hummel: **Why? Scared to make out of yourself?

**Jordan McClaine: ** NO! I just want this to be private.

**Blaine Anderson: **That sounds dirty.

**Kurt Hummel: **When was something not dirty when it came out of Jordan?

**Blaine Anderson: **You have a point.

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>

Okay let's begin.

**Kurt Hummel: **

This is going to be comical.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I agree.

**Jordan McClaine:**

First let me explain a thing or two about relationships. Relationships are challenged by circumstances and social influences. They fail if they are not managed with care and consideration of the other person's feelings. The mismanagement of these relationships ultimately brings grief and pain to all the people involved. Seek to manage your relationships with care and consideration of the other person's needs. Recognize that sometimes you cannot repair the errors of your past; however today is the first day of the rest of your life.

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O *mind blown*

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wow

**Jordan McClaine: **

That's not all.

**Kurt Hummel:**

There's more?

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O

**Jordan McClaine:**

Ten Ways to Love Your Partner and Have a Good Fucking Relationship:

Start each day with a big BIG hug

Say the following three words "I Love You" every time you part ways.

Compliment each other freely and as often as you can.

Make sure to let the other know that you are always on his mind.

Live each day as if it's your fucking last…so make the most of it.

Go on a date at least once a week.

Always remember to hold each other's hands.

Respect each other.

Be your partner's biggest and I mean, BIGGEST fan

When you two finally take THAT step, use as a way to connect to someone and not just for the fun and pleasure it will bring you.

Follows this simple steps and your relationship will fucking last.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Double Wow. That's actually…really good…

**Blaine Anderson:**

O_O *mind double blown* I agree with Kurt.

**Jordan McClaine:**

*feels like a boss* Told you, I could give motherfucking amazing and MASTERFUL relationship advice.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Looks like we stand to be corrected, Blaine.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Indeed we are, Kurt.

**Jordan McClaine:**

So…what do you two have to say for yourselves?

**Blaine Anderson:**

The only thing I can say is thank you, Jordan.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Yeah, Jordan, thank you. That was actually really helpful advice. And…we're sorry for underestimating you. Looks like your more than just dirty words.

**Jordan McClaine:**

It has come to my realization that I want to change. For the better.

**Kurt Hummel:**

For the better, you mean…for thad…right?

**Jordan McClaine:**

…

**Blaine Anderson:**

I think you're absolutely right, love.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Since you gave me and Blaine advice maybe we should give you one too.

**Blaine Anderson: **

I agree with Kurt.

**Jordan McClaine:**

…Um…can you two keep a secret?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Your gay?

**Jordan McClaine:**

NO!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine, I've already told you that Jordan is Thad-sexual. Did you forget?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oops…

**Kurt Hummel:**

What secret?

**Jordan McClaine:**

I'm planning to ask out…Thad tonight on a date…since he and that demon fuckbitch have broken up.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Kit and Thad broke up? How come I just found out about this now?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Because of the numerous death threats you have to endure today, Thad's relationship is the farthest thing in your mind at the moment.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You have a point.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O You're asking out Thad?

**Jordan McClaine:**

*insert sarcasm* Do I need to repeat myself, Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Easy tiger. I just…that's is great! Jordan, you're actually…listening to your heart. I feel like a proud father.

**Blaine Anderson:**

You'll be an excellent father…especially to our children. ;)

**Kurt Hummel:**

*blushes*

**Jordan McClaine:**

Hey! You two! Cyber flirt later! This is my time!

**Blaine Anderson: **

Sorry…can't help myself. Jordan, I think it's great that you and Thad are finally getting together.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm so happy for you, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thank you but don't be happy for me yet…Thad hasn't agreed to it.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh he will, trust me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

**Kurt Hummel:**

BTW, you should follow the advice you gave us. I think it would help you with Thad.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I agree with Kurt. Also, have COURAGE.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thanks guys. Wish me luck.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Good luck! :)

**Blaine Anderson: **

Break a leg…not literally though…

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>has just recovered from the wrath of all death threats and surprise that is **Jordan McClaine** 's advice.

**Jordan McClaine: **Told you, I give good advice.

**Blaine Anderson: **A huge surprise to us all.

**Santana Lopez: **Oh! By the way, Midget, I also need to remind you about another thing.

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O Oh no…

**Santana Lopez: **Oh yes... ignoring the fact that you probably live under a bridge and have goats to scare away from the greener grass, if you ever hurt Lady Lips, I will endz you. I will castrate you slowly and rip every little gel smothered hair on your body into shreds. Got that? Tengo un par de ijeras y voy a cortas tu porque soy de Lima Heights Adjacent y soy orgullo de es. (I have a pair of scissors and I will cut you because I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud of it.)

**Blaine Anderson: **er…I'm not really good in Spanish, I'm more of an Italian man, so can you translate that last part for me?

**Santana Lopez: **It's better if you don't know…*insert mysterious tone*

**Blaine Anderson: **O_O *insert scared-for-my-life look*

**Santana Lopez: **Congrats again to the happy couple! *insert innocent look*

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson:<strong>

is scared for his sanity and life.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Blaine, I'm so sorry. This all my fault. My friends are SO protective of me, they beat my dad. Well…they can't beat my dad since none of them threatened you with a weapon but still…you get my drift…

**Blaine Anderson: **

Are you kidding me? Even my friends threatened to kill me if we break up. My own FREAKING friends. Shouldn't they be threatening you?

**Kurt Hummel: **

No one threatens a Hummel, sweetie. ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **

so that means everyone threatens an Anderson, buttercup? *insert sarcasm*

**Kurt Hummel: **

You don't need be sarcastic, Blaine. *sighs* I'm really sorry.

**Blaine Anderson: **

It's okay. I know they mean no harm. And I'm touched that they care about us that much. I never knew the Warblers cared for us that much. Also with New Directions, specifically Santana Lopez. *shudders* Her threat scares me the most.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Well, just know one thing Blainey.

**Blaine Anderson: **

Are we actually going to start with the baby names, Kurtie?

**Kurt Hummel: **

I think we are Blainers ;)

**Blaine Anderson: **

This is why I love you. You make me smile even when I feel so scared that someone might kill me when I'm asleep especially if something happens between us, specifically I think Santana and Wes would team up.

**Kurt Hummel: **

*insert insulted tone* Do you NEED a reason to love me, Blaine Everett Anderson?

**Blaine Anderson: **

O_O WHAT? NO! NO! I don't need a reason to love you! YOU alone is a reason. *insert in a begging tone* Kurt, please don't break up with me! We've only been dating for four days and just became FB official today and-

**Kurt Hummel: **

BLAINE!

**Blaine Anderson: **

NO! Don't break up with ME! PLEASE! DON'T!

**Kurt Hummel: **

BLAINE!

**Blaine Anderson: **

I promise to change! I'll give up my hair gel and my love for Katy Perry!

**Kurt Hummel: **

BLAINE!

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'll start worshiping Lady Gaga! I'll start wearing crazy clothes like her!

**Kurt Hummel:**

*holds a finger* Hold up, her clothes are NOT crazy! They are FABULOUS!

**Blaine Anderson: **

Yeah sure whatever *cough* her clothes are capital W-E-I-R-D *cough*...just PLEASE don't break up with me!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm not breaking up with you, Blaine. Stop thinking like that. Where in the hell do you get those ideas?

**Blaine Anderson:**

*confused look* But?

**Kurt Hummel: **

I was kidding.

**Blaine Anderson: **

DON'T KID ABOUT THAT! I can lose everything in the world, Kurt! My house...my car...my allowance...my clothes...my Katy Perry…even my parents! BUT YOU! I CANNOT LOSE YOU!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh Blainers...*sighs lovingly* you really have a way with words.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Regardless of my way with words, promise you won't break up with me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Blaine, no matter what happens, I will never break up with you and I'll never say good bye to you.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Promise?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Promise

**Blaine Anderson:**

Pinky swear?

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Brittany S. Pierce facepalm* Pinky swear

**Blaine Anderson:**

Promise kiss?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't you think we're getting ridiculous?

**Blaine Anderson:**

No. *insert puppy dog eyes*

**Kurt Hummel: **

*curses puppy dog eyes* Promise kiss

**Blaine Anderson:**

*promise kiss*

**Kurt Hummel:**

*promise kiss*

**Wes Yang:**

*sheds a tear* You two are so perfect together. Please never stop being together. Please? For the sake of my Asian heart…PLEASE do not break up! I don't think I can live through life if you break up.

**Blaine Anderson:**

^What the hell^

**Kurt Hummel:**

^What the Darren Criss^

**Blaine Anderson:**

*I'm his boyfriend and yet he still obsessed with that man! WTH! Facepalm* Kurt, we're gonna talk about that later. Wesley, what the hell are you doing here? This is a PM.

**Wes Yang: **

Three words. Jordan Fucking McClaine.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Facepalm* I'm going to kill that man.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Let's kill this two together.

**Wes Yang:**

Awww...you're first kill as a couple. I'm one proud Asian!

**Kurt Hummel:**

*Facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson:**

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine <strong>to **Thad Stevens: **

Hey Thad! Let's talk about the bet! I have an amazing proposal for you.

**Thad Stevens: **

You sound oddly happy.

**Jordan McClaine:**

The hell I'm happy! I gave GREAT advice to Klaine and they loved it!

**Thad Stevens:**

That's good.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You sir, on the other hand, sound oddly sad. Reason?

**Thad Stevens:**

…

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thad?

**Thad Stevens:**

Why is it when you're about to become the happiest man in the world, someone or something takes it from you and pulls you down to the hells of depression?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Uh…well…do you believe in karma?

**Thad Stevens:**

No.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I do. I believe that every single good deed a person does has a prize in the end. I also believe that every bad sin a person commits has a prize to pay in the end.

**Thad Stevens:**

So, what are you telling me? I did something bad which is the reason why I'm so fucked up right now?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thad, what's wrong?

**Thad Stevens:**

I CAN'T TELL YOU!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Woah. Watch the caps lock. Why the hell not?

**Thad Stevens:**

Because you would hate me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

How could I hate you? I can't hate you.

**Thad Stevens:**

You should hate me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Even if I should, I will never hate you. I'm done with hating anyone. I want to be FUCKING HAPPY right now and you're messing with that.

**Thad Stevens:**

What did I do?

**Jordan McClaine:**

YOU won't fucking tell me what's wrong and YOU fucking tell me to hate you when YOU and I both know that hating YOU is something I can't FUCKING DO!

**Thad Stevens:**

And why the hell can't you?

**Jordan McClaine:**

BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

**Thad Stevens:**

…

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O Oh Sweet bitches' ass, I fucking said it…

**Thad Stevens:**

You…you love me?

**Jordan McClaine:**

…

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan John McClaine, you love me?

**Jordan McClaine:**

…

**Thad Stevens: **

JORDAN JOHN McCLAINE, YOU FUCKING LOVE ME?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yes! Alright! I fucking love you!

**Thad Stevens:**

...why do you have to be some damn wonderful?

**Jordan McClaine:**

What?

**Thad Stevens:**

Why do you have to tell me that? Especially now…

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why? What's so wrong with me telling you now?

**Thad Stevens:**

…I…I can't say…

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why? Because you're fucking not over yet with that Little Miss Fuckbitch?

**Thad Stevens:**

No…

**Jordan McClaine:**

Then what the fuck is wrong?

**Thad Stevens:**

It's complicated Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Well fucking shit, EVERYTHING is FUCKING COMPLICATED, THAD! Not just your life! Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell those words to someone for the first time and not only that, to a boy? Do you have any fucking idea what I'm going through right now? But you know what, the hell I care with what I'm going through right now, I just wanted to ask you out on a fucking date and you go all depress and Evanescence-like until I fucking slipped those fucking words. And you know what, I don't fucking regret saying them. But it appears you do.

**Thad Stevens:**

No! That's not it, Jordan. I love that you said them. After seventeen years in this world, someone has finally said them to me and you have no idea what I'm feeling right now.

**Jordan McClaine:**

What are you feeling right now?

**Thad Stevens:**

Happy…but at the same time…I feel awful.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Awful? You feel fucking awful after I poured my fucking heart out for you?

**Thad Stevens:**

NO! I don't feel awful because you said "I love you".

**Jordan McClaine:**

Then why do you feel fucking awful? Unless…

**Thad Stevens:**

Unless what?

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan, what is it?

**Jordan McClaine:**

You never said them back.

**Thad Stevens:**

…I…

**Jordan McClaine:**

You never said "I love you" back.

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan, I don't want you to get hurt.

**Jordan McClaine:**

YOU NEVER FUCKING SAID IT BACK!

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan!

**Jordan McClaine:**

How could I be so stupid?

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan, let me explain first!

**Jordan McClaine:**

THE HELL I'M NOT GOING LISTEN TO ANY FUCKING EXPLANATION! THE MERE FACT YOU DIDN'T SAID IT BACK IS FUCKING EXPLANATION ALREADY!

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan-

**Jordan McClaine:**

I bet you're still in love with that Fuckbitch, am I right?

**Thad Stevens:**

What? No! No! I'm not in love with Kit.

**Jordan McClaine:**

YOU FUCKING LIAR!

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan, please let me talk.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I HAD FUCKING ENOUGH OF YOUR TALKING. I'M LOGGING OFF AND DON'T YOU DARE GO TO OUR DORM ROOM TONIGHT. DON'T. YOU. FUCKING. DARE. *logs off*

**Thad Stevens: **

Jordan! Jordan! Please let me explain...SHIT!

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson <strong>to **Kurt Hummel: **I love you, **Kurt Hummel**!

**Kurt Hummel: **I love you too, **Blaine Anderson **

**Wes Yang: **And I love you both, **Blaine Anderson **and **Kurt Hummel**!

**Blaine Anderson: ***pissed-off facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***more pissed off facepalm*

**Wes Yang: **What? What's wrong with what I did? Can't a Klainer express his Klaine opinions on Klaine? The Klaine world has got to know!

**Kurt Hummel: **That. Is. It. Blaine! Operation KWYWMBBC is a go!

**Blaine Anderson: **YES! FINALLY!

**Wes Yang: **What does Operation KWYWMBBC means?

**Kurt Hummel: **Operation Kill Wes Yang With Mr. Bang-Bang's Corpse :)

**Wes Yang: **O_O …I regret NOTHING! *signs out and runs for his life*

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh you better run…*holds shovel to kick Wes Yang's Asian ass*

**Kurt Hummel: **I just love it when we plot to kill Wesley…*sigh contendly*

**Blaine Anderson: **Yeah, me too. Brings back old memories…*sigh contendly*

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: It's DONE! It's FINALLY DONE! Another chapter is finished. My God…this chapter is over 20,000 words. Three words. That's Totally Awesome! <strong>

**Okay…so let's back track a little and summarize everything that happened in this very VERY long chapter.**

**Basically, the whole chapter was about Klaine, who has finally returned after four days of their "honeymoon". Of course the first thing they've done is to FACEBOOK OFFICIAL their relationship by changing their statuses. Of course, this would lead uttermost craziness from the Warblers and the New Directions. **

**The Warblers were talked by the crazy Asian, Wes, to post statuses about Klaine, to which they congratulated them and wished them luck on their relationship. One Warbler didn't do what Wes did but instead, shocked both Blaine and Kurt that he can actually give good advice. The Warbler I'm talking about is Jordan. What a shock right?**

**The New Directions, on the other hand, congratulated Klaine too but also added death threats to Blaine if anything happens to Kurt or if they break up, to them, Blaine will be the reason of the break-up if they ever break-up. Poor poor Blainers. **

**In other news, Thad and Kitalene broke up in this chapter. It seemed we were about to say good bye to Little Miss Fuckbitch but apparently, no. She has hatched a plan so that Jorthad won't happen. She told Thad she's pregnant but that is false. Poor Thad, not having a clue. What was worse in this chapter was that Jordan has finally come to terms that he is Thad-sexual and was even going through the idea of going on a date with Thad but…he didn't even get to ask him out because of his accidental slip of the "I love you". Thad, knowing that he got Fuckbitch pregnant, didn't want to burden Jordan so he didn't say it. That was Thad's problem in that part. Jordan leaves this chapter broken-hearted.**

**Sue Sylvester also gave a death threat to Blaine but to her surprise, she didn't scare Blainers at all. Nice going, Blainers! **

**In other other news, Burt has found out about Klaine and is preparing to torture Blaine in the process. Poor poor poor Blainers. **

**The chapter ended with Kurt and Blaine planning to execute Wesley, just like what happened in Chapter 5 and in other various chapters. **

**Favorite Part:**

_Klaine's Statuses and the Darren Criss foursome_

**Favorite Quote and Quoter: **

_For the first time…_

**Jeff Jefferson:**

"Wesley promised me a bucket of KFC chicken if I did this so here goes: Kurt, you are the peanut butter to Blaine's jelly. Blaine, you are eggs to Kurt's ham. Kurt, you are the egg to Blaine's plant. Blaine, you are the corn to Kurt's beef. Kurt, you are the hot to Blaine's dog. Blaine, you are the cheese to Kurt's cake. Kurt, you are the French to Blaine's fries. Blaine, you are the cheese to Kurt's sticks. Kurt, you are the pasta to Blaine's sauce. Blaine, you are the pork to Kurt's chop. Kurt, you are the chicken to Blaine's gravy. Blaine, you are the spaghetti to Kurt's meat balls. Kurt, you are the chocolate to Blaine's milk. Blaine, you are the red to Kurt's vines.

Lastly, Kurt, you are the key to Blaine's locked heart. Blaine, you are the key to Kurt's locked heart. You two open each other to something so extraordinary. You know what it is? To open yourselves to someone and let yourselves love that someone with every fiber of your being. That's what I'm talking about here.

Basically, you two are the ones that complete each other. Now that you two are together, always find a way complete each other, make each other better, and for the sake of everyone's sanity, especially **Wes Yang **and **Jordan McClaine**, never separate again."

_I really loved writing this speech. I don't know why. But I just love it. _

**Again, my sincerest apologies for not updating soon. I don't want to promise updates because I'm really not good at keeping them so…. Still, I hope you guys would continue to read my story. **

**Now here is what you guys to do for me:**

_REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART AND WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER_

_AND _

_IF YOU EVER GET A CHANCE TO THREATEN BLAINE OR KURT IF THEY EVER FUCK UP THEIR RELATIONSHIP, WHAT WOULD IT BE?_

**Upnext:**

**Burt and Klaine talk.**

**Thad's secret revealed.**

**BTW, since a lot of you are asking what my accounts are, I decided to make both accounts. (I left some spaces so that it would appear on the site. Take out the spaces when you're linking)**

**My tumblr account: http: **http:/ bm22owenstina-klaine4ever .tumblr .com/

**My twitter account: **https:/twitter .com/#!/ BM22OwenstinaKB

**My facebook account: **http:/ .com/#!/pages/ Wes-Yangs-Mr-Bang-Bang/ 168413179887287

* * *

><p><strong>Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows! <strong>


	23. Unrequited Love and Big Sister

**Author's Note: I'm going to cut this short because I'm in a hurry right now because of my cousin's birthday. I wanted to post this the minute I finished the chapter and voila, I've just finished this piece right at this minute. **

**Acknowledgement:**** Thank you so much for Full-Empty-Spirit her help in writing Cristina. Couldn't have done it without you! :)**

**Disclaimer: Glee. Not my property. Facebook. Not my property. Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook. My fucking property. Steal it from me and you'll meet your worst nightmare without wanting to. Darren Criss and Chris Colfer. My property…in my dreams that is. **

**Warning:**** Rated M for swearing **

**This chapter is set the day after last chapter occurred and is purely about Jorthad. I decided to place the Burt/Kurt/Blaine storyline in the next chapter which thereby means I'm posting next with after I post this. Yehey for consecutive updates! **

**Also, come and read this story written by emu FTW about Aaron. This story would definitely be used in the next chapters to come so if you won't mind, read it. It is exactly how I picture Aaron's past. Claire, thank you so much for writing this piece. Here's the link: http:/www*.fanfiction*.net*/s/8002619/1/Aaron Just take out the ***

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Three:<strong>

** Unrequited Love and Big Sister **

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>Just had a revelation right now… Not the kind of revelation you get when you just had mind-blowing sex, especially with a Latina bitch…yes **Wes Yang** , I 'am talking about you right now...but the revelation that can change you…really change you. I had two revelations actually but I can only admit one. My revelation came to me this morning while I was reading a book I found under my bed, a Greek Mythology book…I have no idea why the hell a book like that would be under my bed since I only read Playboy Magazines…, and started to read through it. My goal was only to stare at the Greek goddesses' … you know… but then I read something there that truly hit me on a personal note. Here it is:

**Jordan McClaine: **"According to Greek Mythology, human beings were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a head with 2 faces. Fearing their power can overthrow him, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. Until they do find their other halves, only then can they feel like they've accomplished something in life and truly became a complete human being." It's really deep, don't you think? Looks like Mythology is better than just staring at the hot naked goddess chicks like what I usually do in Mrs. Simmons class.

**Kurt Hummel, Wes Yang, Jeff Jefferson, **and **907 **others like this

**Wes Yang: **Even though I curse you for giving me a shout out there in your status about something in my sex life that nobody should know…

**Jordan McClaine: **Fuck please, you never fail to remind us Warblers about your mind-blowing sex with Satan during lunch time! YOU'RE THE reason why none of the Warblers had a good appetite lately!

**Wes Yang: **Not my fault. You guys shouldn't be listening to me.

**Jordan McClaine: **WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

**Wes Yang: **I repeat. Not. My. Fault. :P

**Jordan McClaine: **Bastard Asian.

**Wes Yang: **:) Back to the task at hand, may I ask what your revelation is about?

**Jordan McClaine: **…why should I tell you?

**Wes Yang: **Because I'm Wesley Yang and…

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm a giant gavel-obsessed wuss who has no balls yet I get laid all time with a sexy Latina bitch?

**Wes Yang: **Exclude giant gavel-obsessed wuss who has no balls from ^that^ and you pretty much got the correct answer. :)

**Jordan McClaine: ***Fuck facepalm* Whatever.

**Wes Yang: **Seriously man, what's up? Tell me.

**Jordan McClaine: **But you're insane!

**Wes Yang: **That's not brand new news! Insane as I maybe, I 'am your friend and I'm concerned.

**Jordan McClaine: ***sigh*Fine…the quote really hit me personally because…to me, I already found my other half in this lifetime. Can you fucking believe my luck? Only the lucky ones get to find their other half at this age of mine. Except…here's the catch: He doesn't reciprocate my feelings. He doesn't love me. He has feelings for someone else…someone else he just broke up with known as the One and Only Legendary Fuckbitch of America. If you don't know her by that name, I'm pretty sure you know her by her title role, the dictator of the fucking whores! I'm in love with a man who doesn't love me back and instead is in love with the Fuckbitch. That's my huge revelation… that I'm such an idiot and unrequited love hurts…Thank Zeus for giving me the revelation.

**Wes Yang: **… *insert joking tone* I think that's the most insane revelation I've ever heard. Care to explain further?

**Jordan McClaine: ***insert angry tone* Explain further? EXPLAIN FURTHER? CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE I'M FUCKING BUSY PRAISING THE KING OF THE GODS FOR BESTOWING ME THE GIFT THAT IS KNOWN AS UNREQUITED LOVE! YOU ARE FUCKING INTERRUPTING MY PRAYERS RIGHT NOW! IS THAT ENOUGH OF AN EXPLANATION TO YOU, ASIAN!

**Wes Yang: **O_O Woah Jordan, I was just joking with you. I get what you said. You don't need to get all angry at me. Besides, all the Warblers know that you don't pray. Heck, you don't believe in such things until you can touch them with your own hands or tap them with that dick of yours.

**Jordan McClaine: **THE WARBLERS DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME!

**Wes Yang: **Yes we do! We are your brothers!

**Jordan McClaine: **YOU STILL DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME!

**Wes Yang: **Fine, that may be true. Except Thad. Thad knows you. Thad knows you in a deeper way…Wait an Asian minute…hold up… I'm betting my Asian virginity right now that Thad is behind that status and revelation of yours. Isn't he?

**Jordan McClaine: **How the fuck can you bet your virginity when you're fucking not a virgin anymore?

**Wes Yang: **Fine, you got me. Let me rephrase what I said. I swear on David's virginity.

**Jordan McClaine: **That's better. :)

**David Thompson: **Wesley, there are no words in the English, Spanish, Italian, African, and Klingon dictionary that can ever remotely describe how much I despise and rue your Asian ways of insulting me.

**Wes Yang: **Thank you David! :)

**David Thompson: **That wasn't a compliment.

**Wes Yang: **I know. I'm just messing with you ;)

**David Thompson: **I. Hate. You.

**Wes Yang: **I'm a-okay with you hating me just as long as you lose your fucking virginity already to Tater Tots.

**Jordan McClaine: **I agree. 100% fucking agree.

**David Thompson: **You two are sickening.

**Jordan McClaine: **You're wrong, David.

**David Thompson: **How am I possibly wrong?

**Jordan McClaine: **You're wrong with what's sickening. It's not me or Wes. What's sickening is the fact that YOU are in a relationship with the woman of your dreams who reciprocates your feelings and yet you two aren't participating in the greatest way of showing your love to someone, which is making love to that someone.

**Wes Yang: **O_O Wow. So deep.

**David Thompson: **Wow is an understatement. Looks like I 'am wrong…

**Wes Yang: **Jordan, care to please tell us what's wrong? We know this is about Thad…

**David Thompson: ** Wait. What happened with Thad?

**Wes Yang: **I have no idea. But from how he explained that status of his earlier, I'm definitely sure it's about Thad.

**David Thompson: **I remember you told me that Thad's going to tell Jordan about…you know…

**Jordan McClaine: **What the hell does "you know" mean?

**Wes Yang: **Thad told me and Santana that he was going to tell you his feelings for you.

**Jordan McClaine: **Ha! That's the biggest joke I've heard considering he didn't told me of such feelings.

**Wes Yang: **Then, something must have happened.

**Jordan McClaine: **Something DID happen. I 'am fucking idiot!

**David Thompson: **That's not news anymore.

**Jordan McClaine: **Shut up virgin!

**David Thompson: **:(

**Wes Yang: **What happened? Come on, tell us!

**David Thompson: **Yeah! It's not like were Trent!

**Wes Yang: **We're not like the blabbermouth of the Warblers or the CNN of our Glee family!

**David Thompson: **So, you can trust us!

**Wes Yang: **Trust us!

**Jordan McClaine: **Only fucking idiots trust Wevid…and sadly…I'm one of them… *sigh*

**Wes Yang: **Three cheers for the fucking idiot!

**David Thompson: **Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm going to seriously regret this. Just like I regret listening to Hot Problems by Double Take…God, my ears are still bleeding…

Hot

**Wes Yang: **Mine too. EVERYONE regrets listening to that song.

**David Thompson: **It's worse than Friday by Rebecca Black.

**Wes Yang: **Hell Yeah!

**Jordan McClaine: **I would rather listen to Rebecca Black than Double Take.

**Wes Yang: **Double Take. Raping people's ears since their fucking video went viral.

**Aaron Houghston: **^Amen^

**David Thompson: **Good one, Aaron!

**Aaron Houghston: **What's a good one? Does that mean one can be bad too? O_O

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

* * *

><p><em>Via Iphone <em>

**Thad Stevens: **

Kurt!

**Thad Stevens:**

KURTIE!

**Thad Stevens:**

Hummel! Come on man! I need to talk you about something!

**Thad Stevens: **

Something very important.

**Thad Stevens:**

Something that I think I fucking screwed up big time.

**Thad Stevens:**

Scratch ^that^ something that I KNOW I fucking screwed up.

**Thad Stevens:**

How can I be such a moron? Giving up the chance I've been waiting for a long time!

**Thad Stevens:**

Plus he said it. IT. The best words in the fucking world. And I didn't say IT back!

**Thad Stevens:**

*hits head on the wall with every period* I'm. Such. An. Idiot. I. Mock. Myself. Sir.

**Thad Stevens:**

KURT! PLEASE TALK TO ME! I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!

**Thad Stevens:**

I don't know who else to talk to…

**Thad Stevens:**

KURT!

**Thad Stevens:**

KURT!

**Thad Stevens:**

COME ON!

**Thad Stevens:**

KURT! Hey Kurt! Darren Criss is standing right now at the front entrance. He says he was looking for a husband to run away with! That's YOUR CHANCE!

**Kurt Hummel: **

THE FUCK IS THAT MAN DOING AT DALTON? WHAT IS HE, SOME KIND OF FLOOZY OR SOMETHING?

**Thad Stevens: **

O_O … Kurt? Is that you? O_O No…it can't be you…you can't talk like that about Darren.

**Kurt Hummel:**

WHAT IF I CAN?

**Thad Stevens:**

Then you're not Kurt Hummel.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Well FYI, I can. DARREN CRISS SUCKS! He is a nuisance to society and…his hair is not at all that amazing. Mine's far better.

**Thad Stevens:**

O_O YOU MOCK DARREN, SIR! YOU ARE NOT KURT! KURT WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT UNLESS HE'S HIGH OR SOMETHING…

**Thad Stevens:**

Wait a minute…I know what's going on…You're Blaine, aren't you?

**Kurt Hummel:**

What are you talking about? I'm Kurt.

**Thad Stevens:**

Don't lie to me, Blaine. You always compare your hair to Darren ever since you realized you were in love with Kurt. Plus, I can smell your hair gel radiating from the phone right now.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Damn – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Ah ha! :)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Just so you know, my hair is definitely more awesome than Darren's. Darren's hair doesn't even go near how great mine is. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* Whatever you say. BTW, why do you have Kurt's phone?

**Kurt Hummel:**

I keep it next to me so that my angel can get his beauty sleep. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

My angel? O_O

**Kurt Hummel: **

What? Is there something wrong with me calling my angelic-faced and angelic voice boyfriend "my angel"? - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

No. But it's weird.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Well…get over it.

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* Blaine, can you please wake up Kurt? I need to tell him something.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What are you going to tell him? – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Why would I tell you? I can only tell Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You're not trying to break-up Kurt and me, right? Tell him that he can do better than me? Cause I'm going to kill if you do that. - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

What? That is absurd. You mock me! Why would I do that?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Then why can't you tell me? - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Because…I don't want to!

**Kurt Hummel:**

You sound like a big baby – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

You're the big baby! Why can't you just give the phone to Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Because my angel is sleeping and if I wake him up, he would get angry at me and then I won't get my morning kiss! - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Morning kiss? Seriously?

**Kurt Hummel:**

You can't make fun of me about that unless you already tried. - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Well, I can ask Kurt to give me one. ;)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't. You. Fucking. Dare. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I. Fucking. Dare.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Fine. I'll wake him up. But you should promise that you'll never ask my angel a morning kiss. Ever. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Fine by me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I feel so sorry for you. You don't know what you're missing. - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I know what I missing. But I blew it off when I didn't say it back.

**Kurt Hummel: **

Say what back?

**Thad Stevens:**

Who are you? Kurt or Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Guess.

**Thad Stevens:**

…give me more hints…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Seriously, Thaddeus. Do I really need to give you more hints? *insert bitch please look*

**Thad Stevens:**

Kurt! Finally! I've been meaning to talk to you…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Haha! Can't believe you fell for that. Still me, Mock boy! :P – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Blaine!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Ha ha! – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I seriously hate you right now. You are mocking me.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Seriously? Can't you just tell me?

**Thad Stevens:**

No! Because this is about Jordan and Kurt's the one I talk to about Jordan!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh. My. Bowties. What happened? Jordan told us he was finally going to tell you that he wants to be with you. Heck, he even asked for advice. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Really? He told you guys that?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Uh huh. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Damn…then I really have messed up big time.

**Kurt Hummel:**

We seriously need Kurt here. Let me wake him up. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens: **

Really wake him up this time!

**Kurt Hummel: **

Of course. This is serious matter. The faith of Jorthad depends on it. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

You know, you sound like Wesley right now. Except instead of Klaine, you're a fan of Jorthad.

**Kurt Hummel:**

FYI, I'm a very huge fan of Klaine ;) – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel:**

My angel is awake! – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thad? I thought you were Darren?

**Thad Stevens:**

Darren?

**Kurt Hummel:**

The only way to wake him up is tell him something Darren Criss-related. *Sigh*…the things I do for love. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Awww…

**Kurt Hummel:**

What is going on here? Why did you make sweetie pie wake me up?

**Thad Stevens:**

Sweetie pie?

**Kurt Hummel:**

What? What's wrong with calling my pie-loving boyfriend "sweetie pie"?

**Thad Stevens:**

You two are too borderline-sweet, I'm going to die of diabetes.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Not our fault.

I agree – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* Whatever. Kurt, I just need to tell you something.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Is it Jordan-related?

**Thad Stevens:**

Yes

**Kurt Hummel:**

*insert excited look* Do tell

**Thad Stevens:**

He said it.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What do you mean "it"?

That's what I said – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

You know…

**Kurt Hummel:**

No, I don't. That's the reason why you should tell me.

**Thad Stevens:**

…He said the three words…

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O The three words? As in…I love you?

**Thad Stevens:**

No…actually…it was four words. I FUCKING love you…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Awww…that's sweet – Blaine

I agree

**Thad Stevens:**

Here's the catch though…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh no! Why is there a need to have a catch? WHY?

**Thad Stevens:**

Because I'm a fucking moron.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What did you do? – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

…I…I…I….

**Kurt Hummel:**

You what?

Come on, man! You're leaving me and my angel here hanging! Not cool! – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I didn't say it back.

**Kurt Hummel:**

YOU WHAT?

**Thad Stevens:**

…don't make me say it again…

**Kurt Hummel:**

I think I'm going to faint…

NO! – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Uh guys? Everything okay there?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Kurt feels woozy because of what you did. - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I feel woozy because of what I did. And depress. And slightly suicidal.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't you dare go into Evanescence mode! – Blaine

Or Rebecca Black mode, says my angel – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I know I won't. Maybe just a little Jonas brothers…

**Kurt Hummel:  
><strong>NO! – Blaine

My angel's asking, why did you do it? Why didn't you say it back? Or in his words "What could have possessed that mind of yours to not speak of such thing?" – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Because of something that I did that is going to change my life forever…

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Please tell us you didn't kill someone. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

No!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Instead of guessing, may you tell us or my angel here is seriously considering the idea of hitting your head numerous times on the wall. - Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

I already did that.

**Kurt Hummel:**

He says it's not enough for what you did will never be enough. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

Let me tell you guys first before you judge.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Alright. But skip the parts that can make my angel angry because then I'll never get my morning kiss. – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* This is going to be a long story…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wait! Let me just get popcorn from the Dalton kitchen! BRB! – Blaine

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>You're born, you die, and in between, you make a lot of mistakes. Except me. I make MILLIONS of mistakes. I hate my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>The one who makes me the happiest, is always the one who is already taken.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>Life is about the risks and it requires you to jump with no hesitation. Me though, I jump and I end up becoming one of those teenagers…God! Why did I become one of those teenagers…

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>A love letter to my fucking body parts:

Dear fucking brain, sorry for overloading you with the thoughts and fantasies of him.

Dear fucking tummy, sorry for all the butterflies inside whenever he is near me.

Dear fucking eyes, sorry for all the tears I cried.

Dear fucking ears, sorry for constantly listening to his voice.

Dear fucking throat, sorry for all the times I screamed, cheering him on.

Dear fucking hands, sorry for making you work over time with all the love songs and poems I wrote about him.

Dear fucking legs, sorry for making you stand so long just so I could watch him from afar.

Dear fucking heart, I'm most especially sorry to you. I'm sorry for all the damage you've felt. I'm very very sorry.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>Never regret anything because at one point you wanted…I NEVER WANTED TO HAVE A FUCKING …!

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>Should I smile because you're my friend or cry because that's all we'll ever be? Heck, are we even friends right now?

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>Things don't happen for no reason, they happen to teach you something. I HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING! EXCEPT THE FACT I'M A MORON!

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: "<strong>The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned" – William Somerset Maugham.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens: <strong>Even though I fucking hate my problem right now, YOU are my favorite mistake. I'm not going to say who I'm talking to but even I don't really want you right now because I'm young and still in high school, I made you and therefore, I love you.

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine: <strong>Many people think that "I love you" is the sweetest words to hear from a person. But let me tell you all right now, "I love you too" is sweeter to hear back…

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>creates a group called **Warblers Only **

**Kurt Hummel **adds **Blaine Anderson, Wes Yang, **and **17 **others to the group **Warblers Only **

**Kurt Hummel: **Okay Warblers, we need to access a crisis here so I made a group that notify every one of you instead of me posting on my wall and waiting for you guys to comment.

**Blaine Anderson: **What crisis are you talking about my angel?

**Wes Yang: **I think l know what Kurt's talking about. Let me dub this crisis, the Jorthad crisis.

**David Thompson: **^So. Freaking Original^

**Wes Yang: **Shut up, David.

**Trent Nicholson: **D has a point. W, when we were planning about the Klaine crisis, you called it Operation Klaine. You suck at giving names.

**Wes Yang: **Alright then, I don't need to be insulted any further, how about you guys think of a name for a change! Maybe you guys can think of a better one.

**Kurt Hummel: **I got it! The Thadjor Situation!

**Wes Yang: **O_O Dafuq? That's exactly like mine! Except you changed their couple name!

**Blaine Anderson: **You've got to be kidding me right, Wesley? It's SO FREAKING ORIGINAL! Brava my amazing angel! *claps*

**David Thompson, Nick Connors, **and **27 **others likes this

**David Thompson: **I have to agree with Blaine, it is pretty original.

**Nick Connors: **It's so CREATIVE!

**Jeff Jefferson: **It can take your breath away! Like eating a whole burger in thirty seconds! :)

**Trent Nicholson: **I'M GOING TO MAKE A POSTER OF THAT COUPLE NAME! THE BEST!

**Aaron Houghston: **GO THADJOR! GO THADJOR! :)

**Wes Yang: ***insert confused look* You guys all have mental problems.

**David Thompson: **YOU are included in that "you".

**Wes Yang: **YOU too.

**Kurt Hummel: **Alright then. Now that the name is over with. Let's get down to business. Basically, we all know that Jordan and Thad are in love with each other. Agreed?

**Wes Yang: **Agreed.

**Aaron Houghston **and **23 **others like this

**Kurt Hummel: **We all are also aware of the numerous and I mean, NUMEROUS statuses between the two that basically points out each other. Right?

**Wes Yang: **Right.

**David Thompson **and **23 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **We all are also aware of what happened between them yesterday. Right?

**Wes Yang: **Right.

**Nick Connors: **Not really.

**Trent Nicholson, Jeff Jefferson, **and **18 **others likes this

**Wes Yang: **Well, it's like this: Jordan said he "I love you-

**Blaine Anderson: **He said "I FUCKING Love you", Wesley.

**Wes Yang: ***insert sarcasm* Thanks, I really need to be corrected right now.

**Blaine Anderson: ***huff* Well so-rry Mr. Angry pants.

**Wes Yang: **Let me continue, Jordan said…what Mr. Corrector here said…and Thad didn't say it back.

**Trent Nicholson: **HE DID WHAT NOW!

**Nick Connors: **O_O

**Jeff Jefferson: **Thad didn't say it back? How could he not speak of such things?

**Kurt Hummel: **^I said exactly the same thing, Jeff^

**Aaron Houghston: **…Thaddie didn't say what back? O_O

**Blaine Anderson: **Thad didn't say "I love you" back to Jordan.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh…is Thaddie on drugs?

**Wes Yang: **He might as well be. Drugs have a way to make someone a fucking idiot.

**David Thompson: **So…does that mean YOU are on drugs?

**Wes Yang: **Ask yourself that first before you ask me.

**Blaine Anderson: **^GUYS!^ Knock it off! We should be worried about Jordan and Thad. Stop fighting!

**Aaron Houghston: **STOP THE VIOLENCE!

**Trent Nicholson: **^Amen, A, Amen^

**Kurt Hummel: **What all of us needs to focus right now is the fact that there is only one thing that can solve their problem.

**Nick Connors: **Make up sex?

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Anderson: ***facepalm*

**Wes Yang: ***facepalm*

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Trent Nicholson: ***facepalm*

**Aaron Houghston: ***palmface*

**Nick Connors: **What? What's wrong?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Seriously? Come on, Nick. You know you're better than that.

**Nick Connors: **Wow. Jeffrey Jefferson Jr. is actually talking to me. What an honour.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Haven't you heard what Blaine said. We can't fight right now. I call temporary truce.

**Nick Connors: **Fine…

**Trent Nicholson: **You guys are not talking and I just learn about this now?

**Wes Yang: **Surprise. Surprise. For the CNN of our family.

**Trent Nicholson: **Butt out of this, Yang.

**Nick Connors: **BUTT OUT OF THIS, TRENT!

**Trent Nicholson: ***insulted look*

**Jeff Jefferson: **Don't talk to Trent like that!

**Nick Connors: **DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!

**Aaron Houghston: **STOP THE VIOLENCE! WHENEVER PEOPLE FIGHT, UNICORNS DIE! I DON'T WANT KURTIE OR BLAINEY TO DIE!

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Who told you that?

**Blaine Anderson:** Let me guess, Brittany?

**Aaron Houghston: **Yup.

**Blaine Anderson: **I knew it.

**David Thompson: **Look, can we just stop the fighting already? Please? Let's do this for Jordan and Thad.

**Nick Connors: **Fine. I'm sorry.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Me too.

**Trent Nicholson: **Me three.

**Aaron Houghston: **Me for.

**David Thompson: **Aaron, you don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong.

**Aaron Houghston: **Oh…sorry.

**David Thompson: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: **Alright then. If we can proceed without sparking another argument, that would be appreciated.

**Jeff Jefferson: **Nick started it.

**Kurt Hummel: ***insert bitch glare* I DON'T CARE FUCKING CARE WHO STARTED IT. WHAT I FUCKING CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW IS SAVING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MY TWO BEST FRIENDS! YOU GOT IT?

**Jeff Jefferson: **O_O

**Wes Yang: **Looks like your angel turned into the fucking devil, Blaine. How could you live with such glare?

**Blaine Anderson: **I don't know what you're talking about. I think my angel is pretty damn hot right now. *insert fanning himself*

**David Thompson: **Oh God no. NO Cyber sex. Please! For the love of my brand new Toshiba laptop! God no!

**Trent Nicholson: **What happened to your old laptop?

**David Thompson: **It's hard drive was full so I bought a new one.

**Trent Nicholson: **Full of what?

**David Thompson: **…something I will never tell a soul.

**Wes Yang: **Porn, Trent. It's full of porn.

**David Thompson: **is currently looking for a word in the Russian dictionary to insult the Asian.

**Wes Yang: **Ha! Good luck!

**Kurt Hummel: **ENOUGH! NO FIGHTING! NO GETTING TURNED ON! NO LOOKING FOR A WORD IN THE RUSSIAN LANGUAGE TO INSULT WESLEY!

**Blaine Anderson: **So freaking hot.

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine! What did I just say?

**Blaine Anderson: **Oops…sorry…

**Kurt Hummel: **It's okay. *make up kiss*

**Blaine Anderson: ***make up kiss*

**Wes Yang: **WHY DOES HE GET A MAKE-UP KISS AND I DON'T!

**Trent Nicholson: **I want a Klaine Make-Up Kiss!

**Blaine Anderson: **Seriously guys? First the threesome, now a make-up kiss?

**Wes Yang: **Yeah. I want both.

**Trent Nicholson: **Me too.

**Aaron Houghston: **Me tree! :)

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm* Ugh. We will never find a solution to Jorthad's problem.

**Blaine Anderson: **Guys. Come on, we need to come together on this…Wesley, don't you dare say a pun about what I just said…

**Wes Yang: **I wasn't going to.

**Blaine Anderson: **Uh huh. Warblers, we need to brainstorm of a solution to Jorthad. Now, what I think is that we need to get them talking to each other. Based from what Thad told us, and trust me, you do not want to know the reason why Thad didn't say it back, he really has a good reason for not saying it.

**Wes Yang: **He told you the reason why he didn't say it? What's the reason?

**Blaine Anderson: **We'll tell you all very soon but right now, let's just keep it a secret. Thad doesn't want to tell the Warblers yet. I think he should be the one to say it. Not me or my angel, right angel?

**Kurt Hummel: **Right.

**Wes Yang: **Fine. But can you at least tell us it has something to do with Kitalene?

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh…it DEFINITELY has something to do with Kit.

**Wes Yang: **That Fuckbitch is seriously going down.

**Aaron Houghston: **^Amen^

**Blaine Anderson: **Let's get back from what I was saying. We need to get Thad and Jordan to talk to each other again?

**Nick Connors: **But how can we do that?

**Trent Nicholson: **I agree with N, from what K has told me, TS doesn't want to talk to JMC because he regrets that he didn't say it back. And, from what W has told me, JMC is so depressed that his love for TS in unrequited, he doesn't have the guts to talk to him again.

**Kurt Hummel: **I already have a solution to that, my brister. I would be the one to talk to Thad because…well…surprisingly, he asks for my advice and actually listens to me. I can make sure to make him talk to Jordan.

**Blaine Anderson: **All that's left now is Jordan. How can we make Jordan talk to Thad? You know how stubborn Jordan is.

**Kurt Hummel: **We need to find a solution to that.

**David Thompson: **I got it! Maybe we should make Jordan jealous by making Thad go out with another guy. I bet that would make Jordan talk to him.

**Wes Yang: **What is this? Krent 2.0. ^That idea is garbage! Throw it away^

**David Thompson: **I really hate you.

**Trent Nicholson: **So do I, right now.

**Jeff Jefferson: **How about trap them in a closet?

**Nick Connors: **Are you purposely hurting me right now? Cause that one just hit me right in the heart.

**Jeff Jefferson: **What are you talking about?

**Nick Connors: **Oh you know what I'm talking about, Jeff.

**Jeff Jefferson: **…I know but I don't want to remember…

**Nick Connors: **O_O … You don't want to remember? …I'm sorry guys but…I just can't be here right now…I'm logging off. Do whatever you guys can do to get Jorthad together but I'm sorry…I just can't be here right now…I'll apologize to them soon… *signs off*

**Trent Nicholson: **What the hell is ^that^ about?

**Jeff Jefferson: **Trent, I'm saying this in the nicest possible way. Butt out.

**Trent Nicholson: **O_O

**Hum**

**Wes Yang: **I think I found the solution.

**David Thompson: **Really? O_O You?

**Kurt Hummel: **Alright the floor is yours. But if your solution involves strippers or better yet, gavels, I will burn you alive with a flamethrower from my dad's tool box.

**Blaine Anderson: **He's not lying, Wesley.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm not lying.

**Wes Yang: **Have a little faith in me, half of the amazing and fantastic and world-renowned couple known as Klaine.

**Kurt Hummel: ***rolls eyes*

**Wes Yang: **Alright guys here it is: We need the help of a professional.

**David Thompson: **What kind of professional?

**Trent Nicholson: **A stripper?

**Wes Yang: **NO, Trent! Not a stripper. Someone who is of the highest stature of being a Warbler…

**Blaine Anderson: ***light bulb* Oh! I think I know who you're talking about.

**Wes Yang: **That's right, Blaine. Someone who is very dear to our Jordan's fucking heart.

**David Thompson: **I think I know who you're talking about. In that case, indeed we do need TLW's help.

**Trent Nicholson: **TLW? Of course, you're talking about TLW! Who is else is of the highest stature of being a Warbler. TLW IS the only answer to our problems.

**Jeff Jefferson: **I agree. If anyone can talk to Jordan and get him of his funk and thoughts of Unrequited Love, it's TLW.

**Kurt Hummel: **Uh hello? Out of the loop here. Who are you guys talking about?

**Blaine Anderson: **Oh! I'm sorry angel. The Warblers forgot that you're new. Wes, kindly fill in on what's going to the love of my life?

**Wes Yang: **We are talking about The Legendary…Warblerette…

**Kurt Hummel: **Warblerette? A girl Warbler? Isn't Dalton an all-boys academy.

**Blaine Anderson: **It sure is.

**Kurt Hummel: **Then why is Wes going to call the legendary Warblerette?

**Blaine Anderson: **Wes, TLW and when she answers, call us all for a group meeting. She is the only way we can save Jorthad.

**Wes Yang: **Affirmative, Anderson. Thompson and Nicholson, you know what to do.

**David Thompson: **Affirmative.

**Trent Nicholson: **Affirmative.

**Kurt Hummel: **What the hell is happening here?

**Blaine Anderson: **Come and PM me.

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel:<strong>

Alright seriously, who in the world is TLW?

**Blaine Anderson: **

Before I tell you who is Cristina, shouldn't we talk about your dad's arrival tonight? I 'am going to your place, right? I should be preparing.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh right! I completely forgot to tell you due to Jorthad. My dad called awhile to tell me that we should reschedule that "talk" tomorrow night because the flights in Chicago are delayed.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh. Looks like I get to live another night.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't worry, Blaine. My dad's not going to kill you.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I hope not. I'm too young to die.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Yeah. And I'm too young to be a widow…

**Kurt Hummel:**

Anyway! Tell me about TLW or…Cristina is it? Who is she and why is Jordan close to her?

**Blaine Anderson:**

TLW's real name is Cristina McClaine.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh My Darren Criss! Jordan has a sister?

**Blaine Anderson:**

^Not him AGAIN^ Yes, angel, Jordan has a sister. And she is a legend here at Dalton.

**Kurt Hummel:**

If she's such a legend, how come I just found out about her now?

**Blaine Anderson:**

It's because you're new here, angel. Newcomers rarely know the many legends of Dalton.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Alright then, fill me on this Legendary Warblerette. How in the world did Dalton let a girl here?

**Blaine Anderson:**

It's a long story but apparently, Jordan's sister once faked her identity to get into Dalton.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Why?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I think it was because of a financial crisis or something…I think the time she transferred here was the time Jordan and Cristina's father died of a plane crash.

**Kurt Hummel:**

But Dalton's tuition is so steep. If the McClaines had a financial crisis, why did Jordan's sister enrolled at Dalton?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Do you have any idea HOW rich the McClaines are?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Not really.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Then don't ask because if I tell you...you might leave me for Jordan.

**Kurt Hummel:**

O_O Okay…then… continue.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Right. And Cristina became an instant sensation at Dalton. She was so smart and funny. She was the President of the Student Council. AND, she was also the President and lead soloist of the Warblers. She was amazing, even though she's an alto, she is amazing.

**Kurt Hummel: **

How could the teachers and students not realize she was a girl?

**Blaine Anderson:**

I don't know but I hear she's pretty good with her disguise.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Alright.

**Blaine Anderson:**

When the Warblers first won a National's trophy that was the time everyone found out the truth. Everyone was really shocked of what she did.

**Kurt Hummel:**

What happened to her?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well…she delivered this amazing speech that made everyone realize that it didn't matter that she was a girl because she's as good as any boy. They accepted her and she became the only girl student at Dalton, also the only Warblerette. That's why she's called the Legendary Warblerette.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Wow. I can't believe Jordan is related to a Dalton legend.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I know, I couldn't believe it either.

* * *

><p><em>(Hours laters…)<em>

**Jordan McClaine: **Even if it is clear that you're not in love with me…I really won't stop loving you...Even if I don't have any feet to run to you and I don't have any hands to crawl to you…As long as my mind is still working…I will never stop to find a way to catch you…in my dreams and in my reality…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **What in the name that is holy and shitty fuck are you posting there?

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O Big sister?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **Who else do you think would tell you your post is shitty and fucky and just plain wrong to be read by mankind? Lindsay Lohan? Rebecca Black? Double Take? Take your pick.

**Jordan McClaine: **What the fuck are you doing on Facebook? I thought you said Facebook is immoral and wastes people's time to make something of themselves besides posting and liking and commenting?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **I still think like that.

**Jordan McClaine: **Then why are you here then?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **You're friends contacted me.

**Jordan McClaine: **My friends? Who do you mean?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **You know your friends. The Crazy Asian President, the Black Virgin Porn Addict, Mock Boy, CNN, Sex Addict, Bieber Lover, Chicken Wings Lover, What Boy, Hot-Ass Gay, and my favorite, Attention-Whore Gay.

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O Wow. Looks like you really listen to me when I talk to you. Considering I only called them that when I'm really angry at them.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **You only call me when you're angry at them. Especially when you're angry with Mock Boy.

**Jordan McClaine: **Yeah I'm sorry about that.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **You bet your perky McClaine ass, you should be sorry. But not because you're angry at Mock Boy. Because you damn didn't told me he was the one you were in love with!

**Jordan McClaine: **O_O The Warblers told you that?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **Duh.

**Jordan McClaine: **I'm going to kill them. Each and everyone of them. I'm going to start with Wes and Klaine, I bet there behind this. They were the ones who contacted you!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **I'm not telling you shit. Plus, you're fucking changing the subject and I won't have that. This isn't about the Warblers. This is about you, Mock Boy, and your motherfucking posts about your unrequited love with Mock Boy.

**Jordan McClaine: **…Wait…wait a damn minute here…why aren't you angry at me?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **I 'AM ANGRY AT YOU about not telling me.

**Jordan McClaine: **No. Not that. Why aren't you angry at me for falling in love with a guy?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **…we should talk about this privately. Tell me to…what do the people call them…PM?

**Jordan McClaine: **:) My pleasure, Big Sister.

* * *

><p><strong>Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: <strong>

Hmmm…looks like Facebook isn't so hard after all.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Told you.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

I still think Facebook wants everyone's souls.

**Jordan McClaine:**

You're crazy. What do you think Facebook is? A dementor?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Whatever. We're going far from the task at hand.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Agreed.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Little Brother, the reason why I'm not angry at you for falling fuck-over-heels with a guy because…

Because I want you to be fucking happy and if Mock Boy makes you fucking happy, then I'm fucking happy for you. What kind of big sister I 'am if I'm not happy with your love?

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O What?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

I thought before that the reason why you constantly fuck around with women was because you were hurting with what she-who-must-not-be-named did to you but now, I think the real reason was because you were looking for someone to see as you as more than just sex and see the real you. Looks like Mock Boy sees you like that if you fell for him. He sees you as more than just sex.

**Jordan McClaine:**

…you really think that?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Of course I fucking do. I'm your Big Sister! I know you more than you fucking know yourself most of the time so you should fucking believe me.

**Jordan McClaine: **

But…I'm…you know I hate labels and all but…to me…I'm bisexual or…as what Hot-Ass Gay calls me, I'm Thad-sexual…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Mock Boy's real name is Thad? As in, Thaddeus? So freaking gay!

**Jordan McClaine:**

*insert warning tone* Sister…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

I know. I know. That's sexist…I'm just joking…

**Jordan McClaine:**

You better be. No one insults Thad…except me. :)

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Holy Moses Savior of Jews, my brother really is in love! *insert proud sister dance*

**Jordan McClaine:**

You have no idea. Except here's the catch…

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel <strong>to **Thad Stevens: **Thad. Can we please talk?

**Thad Stevens: **Are you Kurt or Blaine?

**Kurt Hummel: **Bitch please, I'm the one and only fabulous Kurt Hummel.

**Thad Stevens: **…I'm not falling for that one again.

**Kurt Hummel: **It's me! Honestly!

**Thad Stevens: **Answer this question, only the real Kurt can answer this correctly.

**Kurt Hummel: **Alright then, ask away, Mock Boy.

**Thad Stevens: **What is THE BEST thing Darren Criss has EVER said? And it's not from AVPM.

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh…that's hard…it's either between this two: "People fall in love with a person, not a gender." Or "There's nothing more badass than being who you are." Did I do good, Thaddeus?

**Thad Stevens: **You are indeed Kurt Hummel and not the Darren Criss hater aka your boyfriend.

**Kurt Hummel: **Even though he hates Darren with a burning passion, I still love him.

**Thad Stevens: **Would you please stop making me vomit Klainebows?

**Kurt Hummel: **Not my fault. ;)

**Thad Stevens: ***rolls eyes* anyway, what's up?

**Kurt Hummel: **Can we talk in PM?

**Thad Stevens: **Alright.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens:<strong>

What's up?

**Kurt Hummel:**

You need to tell Jordan about what is happening with Kit.

**Thad Stevens:**

I can't do that. He will hate me even more.

**Kurt Hummel:**

No he won't and you know why?

**Thad Stevens:**

Why?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Because he FUCKING loves you and if you just say you FUCKING love him too, then he won't even care if you're going to be a father months from now. I can guarantee that.

**Thad Stevens:**

You sound WAY too confident.

**Kurt Hummel:**

That's because I'm very sure.

**Thad Stevens:**

But Kurt, I'm a bisexual soon-to-be father. Adding a sex addict for a boyfriend in the mix would just make my life more complicated.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Look at it this way, Thad. Either live a life of complications with the love of your life by your side or become a father who regrets never at least telling the man he loves his true feelings and letting the same man decide their fate.

**Thad Stevens: **

…do you really think he would be okay with this?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Absolutely, as long as you tell him you love him too and end his depression because he thinks his love for you is unrequited.

**Thad Stevens:**

...but what about the responsibility? Kurt, I'm going to be a father. A TEENAGE father. How could I be someone's boyfriend and be a father at the same time?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Thaddeus, I think you're forgetting who you are. You are Thaddeus Stevens III and one thing you will always be, is that you know what to do when the going gets tough. Besides, you have us the Warblers and I don't know about you but I absolutely LOVE babies.

**Thad Stevens:**

That's very sweet to say, Kurt. I really am grateful for you. I owe you so much.

**Kurt Hummel:**

You won't owe me anything as long as you can promise me you'll tell Jordan.

**Thad Stevens:**

Alright, I promise. I promise in the name of my unborn child and of the future Klaine children.

**Kurt Hummel:**

*facepalm* Alright. I'm holding you to that promise.

**Thad Stevens:**

I'm also holding you to that promise of Klaine children. ;)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Okay. :)

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine:<strong>

I'M THRILLED THAT YOU ACCEPT ME, BIG SISTER BUT I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAD BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE ME! HE DIDN'T FUCKING SAID IT BACK BECAUSE HE LOVES…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **

I know I know I know you said her name how many times, I can't count them. He is in love with BitchMcSkankyPants.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I don't call her that. I call her Little Miss Fuckbitch.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Well, I like calling her BitchMcSkankyPants. Have a problem with that?

**Jordan McClaine:**

No.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Didn't think so… Can I ask you this, are you that sure that Mock boy is in love with BitchMcSkankyPants?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Fuck yeah I'm sure.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **

But, from what I heard from your friends. Mock Boy's been in love with you for a very long time.

**Jordan McClaine:**

YOU SHOULDN'T BE LISTENING TO THEM! THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Actually, I do. I believe them.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Then you and those fucking fools are pretty insane! You haven't seen how Thad was with Kit. HE loves her. HE loves every minute he spends time with her. HE loves FUCKING her! HE FUCKING LOVES HER AND NOT ME!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

That's not what I heard. Of all the Warblers, they said that you were Mock Boy's closest friend. Though, you two always fight about the smallest things, they said that you guys make up pretty soon after those fights. They say you guys like the same shows. They say you guys are always next to each other when you perform. They say you guys always joke around with each other. They say…

**Jordan McClaine:**

THEY FUCKING SAY A LOT OF THINGS BUT NEVER WERE IT ONCE SAID THAT HE FUCKING LOVES ME!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Jordan John McClaine! You listen to me right now…

**Jordan McClaine:**

I don't want to listen to you, Big Sister! I don't want to listen to anyone of you! Can't all of you except the fact that I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back! I have the worst case of love, UN-FUCKING-REQUITED LOVE! CAN YOU ALL JUST FUCKING ACCEPT THAT! I don't want to hear anything about Thad or THAT FUCKBITCH EVER! AGAIN! Are we clear?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **

*shock face* I've never heard talk like that to me.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Looks like there is a first in everything.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

I agree. This is the first time you're going to be scolded on Facebook.

**Jordan McClaine:**

What are you talking about?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

*insert shouting* I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, YOU STUBBORN PIECE OF HORSESHIT…

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O Uh oh…I've unleashed the monster…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

…THE HELL YOU FUCKING DID…BUT YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL COME DOWN THERE TO DALTON MYSELF COMING FROM CHICAGO AND SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR VIRGIN ASSHOLE, YOU'LL FUCKING TASTE MY JIMMY CHOOS FOR A MONTH!

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

NOW I KNOW YOU FIND IT FUCKING HARD TO DEAL WITH ALL THE EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT STUFF. LORD KNOWS I WAS AS MUCH OF WHORE AND A FUCKER AS YOU ARE BACK IN THE DAY, JUST SO YOU KNOW. BUT IF SOMETHING IS WORTH HAVING, IT'S WORTH RISKING GETTING FUCKING HURT OVER!

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O You were a whore? YOU SLEPT AROUND? But you're the LEGENDARY WARBLERETTE!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Hell yeah, I was, even if I 'am the Legendary Warblerette. That was high school. I slept around during college when my boobs finally grew into a respectable size. Before I met Tristan, I was a fucking mess. The reason was I was very lonely about my life, every guy I fell for either cheated on me or didn't love me back. I thought my life was a fucking waste. I thought I'll never meet THE ONE. And then, out of the blue, I met Tristan Beauregard and I never thought he would be THE ONE.

**Jordan McClaine:**

How did you two meet?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

It's better if you do not know, dear brother. Maybe when your older…but let me remind you this: He gave me the will to go on with my life. He saved me and gave me a new dream, a dream to be with him…possibly forever…

**Jordan McClaine:**

Awww…he made the Legendary Warblerettte mushy.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Whatever. Look at me now. I'm married to the man who saved me and now, we have two wonderful children with him. I 'am friggin' happy.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Lucky you. At least there is who someone loves you back.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Dear God! You're already sulking away like a 15 year old girl on the rag, I'd say you can't get much more fucking pathetic as you are now, so you might as well go for it, if I were you.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Go for what?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Do I really need to paint a fucking picture for you? Seriously Jordy, I've been where you are. I know what it's like to feel like someone tore your heart out out of your chest and now the bastard is stomping on it right in front of you. And I regret not sucking it up. I regret sleeping around and acting like I don't matter. But I guess in the end, it's a good thing cause if I didn't slept around; I wouldn't have met Tristan; I wouldn't be married to the love of my life right now; and I wouldn't have two wonderful children.

**Jordan McClaine: **

We don't have the same situation, sis.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Are you sure?

**Jordan McClaine:**

…not really…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

*facepalm* Look, if this Mock Boy-

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thad. His name is Thad. Stop referring to him as Mock Boy!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Alright then, my mistake. If this Thad…happy now?...has managed to make such a…such a girl who's fuck-over-heels out of my brother, Jordan John McClaine, then he really must be something. So, you fucking better not let him go!

**Jordan McClaine:**

I'M NOT LETTING HIM GO! I WILL FUCKING LOVE HIM FROM A FAR!

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

That is fucking stalking if you're going to love him from a far. What you should do is this: PULL YOU WIMPY DICK OUT OF YOUR FUCKING VIRGIN ASS AND GO FUCKING TALK TO HIM, BECAUSE EVEN IF I HAVEN'T MET THE GUY YET, BASED FROM WHAT YOUR FRIENDS TOLD ME, I THINK HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU JUST AS MUCH AS YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM! FIND THE FUCK OUT WHERE YOU TWO STAND!

**Jordan McClaine:**

…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

If he does love you back, FANTASTIC. You can lock yourselves away and fuck like rabbits till you're too sore to walk and pretty much have a permanent pain up in your fucking asses.

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O What if he doesn't love me back?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

And if he doesn't…well…at least you'll know where you stand…

**Jordan McClaine:**

…I don't want to know where we really stand…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

But If you don't try, you'll always regret and think of the "what ifs".

**Jordan McClaine:**

…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

You know what to do, you're just scared. But remember, you have the Warblers and me by your side no matter what happens.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Your right, sis. Thanks for everything. Thanks also for the scolding.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

No problem, baby brother. And I will tire scolding you…

**Jordan McClaine:**

I'm going to talk to Thad.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

You do that because I'm not kidding with the Jimmy Choos.

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O

* * *

><p><strong>Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:<strong>

Are you Mock Boy?

**Thad Stevens:**

I beg you pardon?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Are you friggin' Thaddeus Stevens III?

**Thad Stevens:**

Yes, that is me. Who might you be?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Are you ^blind^ or something?

**Thad Stevens:**

Oh dear God! O_O Your Jordan's big sister?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

The hell I am. And you are the reason why my brother is posting sucky and fucky posts about unrequited love…

**Thad Stevens:**

Uh…I guess so…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Let me ask you one thing and I'll be out of your hair.

**Thad Stevens:**

Alright ma'am, ask away.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Don't ma'am me! I'm not that old!

**Thad Stevens:**

You're married and have two children.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Still not that old.

**Thad Stevens:**

Alright, I'm sorry.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Answer me in the most honest fucking way you can.

**Thad Stevens:**

Of course.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Are you in love with my sucky and fucky brother?

**Thad Stevens:**

Absolutely. 100%. Yes.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Then what is the hold-up?

**Thad Stevens:**

Err…I got my ex-girlfriend pregnant…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

O_O

**Thad Stevens: **

…Please don't kill me…

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

…besides that…fact…is there any other reason why you didn't say it back to my brother?

**Thad Stevens:**

Nope. Only the baby.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Well then...

**Thad Stevens:**

Aren't you angry at me? You should be angry at me and you should want me to stay 100 feet away from your father.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

I'm not angry at you. Things like this happen. I'm not surprise, honestly. But there's one HUGE reason why I'm not angry.

**Thad Stevens:**

And what is that?

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

Because somehow, you made my brother change. Change into someone I didn't know was possible. You're not just a guy anymore. You are something. That's the reason why I thinkyou should pull out that unusually fertile cock of yours out of that virgin ass and GO TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM!

**Thad Stevens:**

O_O Yes sir! I mean…ma'am. Right away.

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard: **

*insert smile* I love playing match-maker.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens:<strong>

Jordan. Your sister is very VERY scary.

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O SHE TALKED TO YOU?

**Thad Stevens:**

Yeah. And she is scary beyond reason and more inappropriate that you, surprisingly.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Inappropriateness runs in the family. Remember that.

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* I will.

**Jordan McClaine:**

So…

**Thad Stevens:**

So…

**Jordan McClaine:**

The weather is really nice right now…

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Jordan McClaine:**

...not that cold and not that hot either…

**Thad Stevens:**

...

**Jordan McClaine:**

...what do you call this type of weather?...

**Thad Stevens:**

I'm in love with you.

**Jordan McClaine:**

...

**Thad Stevens: **

Did you hear me? I'm in love with you! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!

**Jordan McClaine:**

O_O Th-

**Thad Stevens:**

No! Let me finish!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Okay. Please continue.

**Thad Stevens:**

Thank you. Jordan, I'm in love with you. I love you. Don't think that your feelings for me are unrequited. They are BY FAR requited. I loved you for a long time. Ever since Jeff realized he was in love with Trent, I realized that I was in love with my best friend as well. And I know, I know, I tried to hide it by going out with Kitalene. But I was also trying to make you jealous because a little part of me hoped…hoped that you felt the same way I felt. I clinged on to that small flicker of hope.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I did get jealous. I fucking hate Little Miss Fuckbitch.

**Thad Stevens:**

Your picture of her in our room full of darts is a dead giveaway.

**Jordan McClaine:**

I should have hid that.

**Thad Stevens:**

No. If you did, I won't know your jealous.

**Jordan McClaine:**

…and you won't know I feel the same way for you.

**Thad Stevens:**

Yeah.

**Jordan McClaine:**

…so you really love me?

**Thad Stevens:**

Yes.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Can you say it one more time?

**Thad Stevens:**

:) I love you, Jordan McClaine.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Can you repeat it one more time?

**Thad Stevens: **

I 'am so in love with you, Jordan.

**Jordan McClaine:**

…one last time?

**Thad Stevens:**

*sigh* The things I do for love…I FUCKING LOVE YOU JORDAN! :)

**Jordan McClaine:**

And I fucking love you too, Thad! You have no idea!

**Thad Stevens:**

I think I do.

**Jordan McClaine: **

It's a good thing my sister made me talk to you.

**Thad Stevens:**

It's a good thing Kurt talked me to talk to you.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Thad? ...Why didn't you say it back before?

**Thad Stevens:**

Because I have a huge problem.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Is it a problem down under?

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* No, Jordan, it's not a problem with my cock.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Oh. Good. Then what's the problem?

**Thad Stevens:**

Are you in our room?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah? Why?

**Thad Stevens:**

Don't use my desk chair to hit that picture of Kit, alright?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Why the hell would I do that?

**Thad Stevens:**

Because Kit is pregnant…with my baby.

* * *

><p><strong>Jordan McClaine:<strong>

I'm sorry, Thad. I couldn't help use your desk chair. I promise to buy you a new one.

**Thad Stevens: **

*facepalm* That's okay. I knew that would happen. I just knew.

**Jordan McClaine: **

How dare that Fuckbitch not take a blue pill. How dare she!

**Thad Stevens: **

Jords, it's more MY fault that she's pregnant since I 'am the one who has the sperm.

**Jordan McClaine: **

Did you use a condom when you fucked her?

**Thad Stevens:**

I did.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Then I'm blaming her.

**Thad Stevens:**

You shouldn't blame her. I mean, we both know that condoms work only 97% of the time.

**Jordan McClaine:**

*shocked face* O_O What?

**Thad Stevens:**

You didn't know?

**Jordan McClaine:**

*shocked face* So what are you saying? That 3% of the time they don't even work?

**Thad Stevens:**

Yeah.

**Jordan McClaine:**

THEN THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX!

**Thad Stevens:**

They do.

**Jordan McClaine:**

WHAT! *brings out a roll of condoms*

**Thad Stevens:**

Jordan, are you okay?

**Jordan McClaine:**

THEY SHOULD FUCKING PRINT IT BIGGER!

**Thad Stevens:**

*facepalm* Jordan, I think you're missing the point here.

**Jordan McClaine: **

What am I missing? The fact that I just learned that there is 3% chance that Little Jordans are running all over the world, I'm not missing that.

**Thad Stevens:**

YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT! I'm going a soon-to-be father. How could you and I be together while I'm a fucking father?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Oh…THAT point. Honestly Thad? I don't fucking care if you're a father.

**Thad Stevens:**

You don't?

**Jordan McClaine:**

No I don't. I don't give a damn of the fact you're a father and that you have a responsibility for your child first before me. It doesn't make me love you any less. I FUCKING love you. I FUCKING love your child even if it's with Fuckbitch. Remember this: Fatherhood won't stop me from loving you and won't stop us from being together. I can promise you that.

**Thad Stevens:**

*crying* Jordan…I can't believe…I can't believe you…you such have a way with words…how could you be so amazing and yet…so inappropriate at the same time…

**Jordan McClaine:**

It's in the McClaine blood to be inappropriate at the same time amazing.

**Thad Stevens:**

I really love you, you know that?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Of course now I know. I love you too. :)

**Thad Stevens:**

We should tell Klaine that we're together! I know for a fact that Kurt's been worried sick about us.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Yeah. We kind of owe Kurt with our love.

**Thad Stevens:**

Indeed we do.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad Stevens:<strong>

Kurt!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Blaine!

**Thad Stevens:**

Blaine!

**Jordan McClaine:**

KURT!

**Thad Stevens:**

Sweetie pie!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Hot-Ass Gay!

**Thad Stevens:**

^Hot-Ass Gay^ Seriously, Jordan?

**Jordan McClaine:**

What? I love you Thad, more than you'll ever know but one thing's for sure, not even your ass can compare to Kurt's.

**Blaine Anderson:**

^HEY!^

**Kurt Hummel:**

Oh my Darren Criss! You guys are finally together, aren't you?

**Jordan McClaine:**

Way to steal the punchline, Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I don't care if I ruined the moment! You guys are finally together! :)

**Blaine Anderson:**

Jorthad for the win!

**Jordan McClaine:**

^Hell yeah!^

**Thad Stevens:**

Huzzah! :)

**Kurt Hummel:**

Told you, Jordan would be okay with it.

**Thad Stevens:**

Thank you, Kurt.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Okay about what?

**Blaine Anderson:**

With him getting Kit pregnant.

**Jordan McClaine:**

Oh. That. I won't love him any less if he has a kid with Little Miss Fuckbitch.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Awww…so sweet…

**Blaine Anderson:**

Ugh. Now I'm getting woozy with the Jorthad sweetness fumes.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't worry, sweetie. I'll be here to catch you. ;)

**Jordan McClaine:**

Ugh. Klainebow vomit ALERT!

**Kurt Hummel:**

I'm so happy that we all have our happy ending at last.

**Thad Stevens:**

^Likes this^

**Blaine Anderson:**

Klaine rules!

**Thad Stevens:**

Jorthad rules!

**Jordan McClaine:**

Klaine AND Jorthad rules!

**Blaine Anderson:**

Jorthad is endgame!

**Thad Stevens:**

Klaine is endgame!

**Kurt Hummel:**

Klaine and Jorthad are Fucking Endgame Bitches!

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel:<strong>

I'm so happy for Jordan and Thad. They deserve each other after everything they went through.

**Blaine Anderson:**

The same way we deserve each other.

**Kurt Hummel:**

:) Though...I can't help wonder about something…

**Blaine Anderson:**

What is it, my angel?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Don't you think it is a little peculiar that at the day that Thad decides to break-up with Kit, at the very same day she announces that she's pregnant with Thad's baby?

**Blaine Anderson:**

Well…maybe she was looking for the right time to tell Thad except he breaks up with her and this time, she doesn't have a choice but tell him at that day.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Hmmm…nice explanation…but still…I find it very peculiar….

**Blaine Anderson:**

Maybe you just want them to have a happy ending. I know, I do.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Of course I want them to have a happy ending the way we do. But…it's not that…don't you find it peculiar too that Kit hasn't went to the doctor yet to confirm she's pregnant?

**Blaine Anderson:**

She already took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I know but…pregnancy test these days can't only be the basis to confirm if you're really pregnant or not.

**Blaine Anderson:**

What are you hinting at, Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Aren't I obvious? I think Kitalene might be faking her pregnancy so that she could have Thad.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Isn't that insane?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Based from Jordan, she is.

**Blaine Anderson:**

But you don't know her Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel:**

Right now, I don't. But with the Warblers, I will.

**Blaine Anderson:**

I'm coming with you.

**Kurt Hummel:**

I wouldn't want anyone other than you by my side when we meet Mrs. Schuester 2.0.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Mrs. Schuester 2.0?

**Kurt Hummel:**

Long story.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Should I know?

**Kurt Hummel:**

No.

**Blaine Anderson:**

Okay… let's talk about Nancy Grace. I just found this nice outfit that would definitely look good on her! :)

**Kurt Hummel:**

…I really love you, you know that? *kiss*

**Blaine Anderson:**

Oh I know and I love you too, my angel. *kisses back*

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><p><strong><span>Author's Note:<span> Chapter 23 of WTTWOGF is finished. Onto the summary!**

**Summary: Basically, this all about the aftermath of what happened to Jorthad in the last chapter. Thad told Klaine about what happened. Jordan told Wevid about what happened. After telling them, they go onto this phase where they constantly post love sick statuses that triggered the Warblers to ask for professional help, in the form of Jordan's big sister, Cristina McClaine-Beauregard. Kurt talked to Thad and Cristina talked to Jordan. Both were successful and they managed to make Thad and Jordan talk. Thad said he loves Jordan and expressed his fears but Jordan won't give a damn about them as long as he is happy Thad loves him back. They are now official but only Klaine knows. **

**In non-Jorthad news, Neff was addressed a little here. Apparently, the two haven't spoken that much since the "Closet" incident. Trent has no idea they weren't talking. Also, by the end of the story, Kurt is wondering if Kit really is pregnant and sets on to find out the truth with his little sweetie pie and the Warblers by his side. **

**Favorite Part:**

_The Thadjor Situation talk. So many things were addressed there. And I just love the Warblers when they fight. _

**Favorite Quote and Quoters: **

_I've got to say, it is between Jordan and his sister..._

**Jordan McClaine:**

"I don't give a damn of the fact you're a father and that you have a responsibility for your child first before me. It doesn't make me love you any less. I FUCKING love you. I FUCKING love your child even if it's with Fuckbitch. Remember this: Fatherhood won't stop me from loving you and won't stop us from being together. I can promise you that."

**Cristina McClaine-Beauregard:**

"…THE HELL YOU FUCKING DID…BUT YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL COME DOWN THERE TO DALTON MYSELF COMING FROM CHICAGO AND SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR VIRGIN ASSHOLE, YOU'LL FUCKING TASTE MY JIMMY CHOOS FOR A MONTH!"

_I seriously don't want to taste Jimmy Choos ever in my life..._

**Now here is what you guys to do for me:**

_REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART AND WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE AND QUOTER_

**Upnext:**

**Burt and Klaine talk. Seriously, this will be in the next chapter.**

**Operation Kill Kitalene...or something related to that...**

**More Neff drama...**

**Like _Wes Yang's Mr. Bang-Bang_page on Facebook!** **The craziness there is worth the like! :) **

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><p><strong>Tune in next time for another chapter of Welcome to the World of Gleek Facebook!<strong>

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><p><strong>All my love to Klaine and my fellow Klainebows!<strong>


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